HERE’S CIAO ALBERTO!!

The Good Place (2016-2020)

listen i might be drunk but im right. art & literature & nature & music make life worth living. people who look like they were ripped out of a caravaggio painting make life worth living. go organize a bacchanal in the woods. take pics of your lover in your hotel room in venice. who cares if there’s a void in your soul. who cares if you can’t get attached to anyone. neither can michelangelo’s david.

Malec ovunque ♡

Con la gentile partecipazione di @somewhereinneverland-jess ♡

👻🎀👻

🚂🔮#scuolababbanadelcavolo

You deserve someone who isn’t embarrassed to love you and tells all their friends about you and saves your selfies, whether they’re good or bad to look at when they miss you  and loses sleep to talk to you  and tells you how much they love and how beautiful you are all the time and i really hope you find that one day  because you deserve to be loved

for a tragedy the iliad is pretty funny. compiled some of my favorite things about it (not in chronological order)

- patroclus barely speaks for most of the book but EVERYBODY loves him. like he’s literally the entire greek camp’s precious meow meow. the ORIGINAL sweet little meow meow. even the GODS are sad and feel bad when he dies. even HOMER loves patroclus, always calling him “faultless patroclus” “my patroclus” “gentle patroclus” “sweet patroclus” WE GET IT. achilles, briseis, menelaus, ajax, literally every member of the greek camp is down ATROCIOUS for patroclus all bc he’s just one Really Nice Dude. just one very Sweet and Polite Fella. one Extra Special Guy <3 his whole narrative purpose is simply to be everyone’s special little scrunkly

- in one of the MANY passages where achilles is lamenting about how sad it is that patroclus is dead he promises patroclus’ corpse that he will have many deep-bosomed trojan and dardanian women weep for him. he tells his dead buddy “i will get the absolute THICKEST hoes with the BIGGEST mommy milkers for your funeral” honestly? id be honored

- all the arguments escalate so quickly. an old man very politely appeals to agamemnon to pretty please give his daughter back and offers him a huge fortune for her and agamemnon calls him a crotchety old bitch and tells him he’ll fucking kill him if he ever sees him again

- that same old man is a priest of apollo. you know, the plague god? anyway priest calls in a favor and apollo curses the greeks with a plague

- to address this, achilles decides to resolve it by calling all the greeks together and passive aggressively going “HM! i WONDER what could have caused a PLAGUE! it’s almost like we OFFENDED the PLAGUE GOD somehow. now WHAT could WE (cough agamemnon) done to offend the PLAGUE GOD?????” all in front of agamemnon

- zeus spends most of the book desperately trying to keep the gods OUT of the war. then once he’s finally had enough he just calls them all together and says “go nuts” and then they do

- artemis talks shit on the battlefield so hera calls her a bitch, steals her bow, and beats her with it. artemis then goes back to zeus and cries

- polydamas says to hector “hey you killed patroclus and achilles is gonna be fucking pissed. we should probably go back to the city while we can” and hector calls him a bitch and tells him to stfu. achilles then chases them back to the city and hector decides to stay outside and get killed by achilles instead of going in with the rest of the army bc he didn’t wanna hear polydamas say “i told you so”

- diomedes is about to fight with a guy called glaucus but then they realize their ancestors were friends or something so they decide not to kill each other, and diomedes says “hey! why don’t we even trade armor! :) just as a show of friendship! :))” and glaucus is like “yeah sure!” and gives diomedes his really nice gold plated armor while glaucus gets diomedes’ shitty plain bronze armor

- achilles makes a bitchy comment to his horses about leaving patroclus to die and the horse momentarily gains the ability to talk just to tell achilles it wasn’t THEIR goddamn fault, tells achilles he’s gonna die soon, and then goes back to being a normal horse.

- zeus with his daughters: oh child ❤️ oh my dear ❤️ oh there there i didn’t really mean it ❤️ sweetie why don’t you go help the greeks?❤️

- zeus with his sons: “ares you fucking donkey”

- everyone calling paris a stupid coward bitch every time they see him. all of troy fucking hates him. hector fucking hates him. helen fucking hates him.

- paris getting dressed up in fancy armor and prancing to the front lines going “i’ll fight ANY of you greeks!” and menelaus (the guy whose wife he stole) goes “alright bet” and paris nearly pisses his pants and tries to hide but then his brother hector calls him a piece of shit and tells him he hopes he dies and makes him fight menelaus. menelaus promptly ROCKS HIS SHIT. literally starts dragging him by his helmet like a rag doll, would’ve killed him if aphrodite hadn’t teleported paris outta there (BOO)

Beauty and the Beast (March 2017)

Friendly reminder that this blog is pro-choice and if you don’t think everyone should have full control of their own body, then kindly unfollow me right now and go to hell

Che poi, voi credete che avere un problema col proprio corpo significhi solo non piacersi. Non vi immaginate neanche il mondo che è nascosto dietro a quel sorriso. Non sapete che cosa significhi provarsi cinque vestiti per poi rinfilarsi i soliti jeans e felpa perchè “è meglio coprire tutto sto schifo”. Non sapete che significa andare ai compleanni degli amici e inventarsi allergie o scuse di ogni tipo per evitare i dolci che vengono offerti. Che poi spesso quelle scuse non le ascolta nessuno e tu finisci con il dolce nel piatto e le mani strette a pugno che tremano sotto il tavolo, con le unghie conficcate nei palmi. Non sapete che significa non sopportare più il pranzo di Natale, l’ Epifania, la Pasqua e ogni fottuta festa dove ti mettono davanti quei piatti pieni di calorie. Non sapete cosa significa stare a dieta tutti i giorni, odiarsi tutti i giorni e poi arrivano i parenti e tu sei costretta a mangiare l'uovo di cioccolata. E senti ogni boccone andare a depositarsi sul tuo corpo. Come se loro già potessero vedere il grasso che stai accumulando. Come se fosse immediato. E l'odio e lo schifo dentro di te cresce. Perchè oggi fai un po’ più schifo. Perchè non sai se riuscirai a non chiuderti in bagno prima che il tuo corpo cominci ad assimilare le calorie. Perchè la settimana prossima la passerai sul tapis roulant. Perchè non sei nè abbastanza obesa nè abbastanza magra da avere un disturbo alimentare.

Musicsflow (via musicsflow)