Thatonyxperson - Onyx

in penance for trying to kidnap her and make her their queen that one time, mabel pines is inventing a new sport called gnome bowling

fresh would not speak in modern brainrot his whole thing is that he speaks in fake 90s lingo stop poisoning the waters with this headcanon

look, i love the the concept of house horror as much as everyone else on tumblr. but i can’t help but to think that it’s so… western-centric. what about all the post-soviet people who grew up and lived and died in apartment blocks. these places are haunted as fuck. the amount of trauma is immeasurable and so much can be done with this

every few months someone on here makes a new post with the absolutely worst take on Lapis Lazuli and it makes its way into the collective unconscious of the Steven Universe fandom until someone finally points out that Lapis is a complex character who can't be summarized easily in a tumblr text post and i think we should start killing everytime this happens

dipper with transphobic parents worried grunkle stan is also gonna be transphobic and then he and mabel pull up to gravity falls and stans got a he/him pin on and is all just call me your grunkle trans!!! am. am i doing this right soos.

ThePruld, you son of a man with every word you spoke in that game, I felt the angry italian blood gushing in my veins AND IM NOT EVEN ITALIAN—

i love hoarder alex, funny cleptomaniac hoarderman hahah heheh wow haha, i also drew a little comic, cause i love to think he’s actually not just an overgrown piece of peeps, and has a little mouth to his name

he’s just…….a little insecure

I had an epiphany, helluva boss makes a lot more sense if you imagine it as Stolas’s fanfic. Like 90% of it is just him being an unreliable narrator going “Oh no I had every right to cheat on my wife because she’s a BITCH who would abuse lil ol me and she’s ALWAYS been this way even when we were kids!!!” (“ No I didn’t actually try in this relationship why would I? I’m a sad gay twink I can do whatever I want!”) like imagine

“Oh and blitzy yelled at me even though I’ve never looked down on him except for all the times I did I can’t believe he would ever think so LOW OF ME 😭😭😭”

“Hmm I don’t know what to do with the girl imp hmm, I know I’ll write in a pregnancy that she would never want!! Oh I’m so clever and original :>”

“How do I demean my ex wife even more hmm…I’ll imply an incestous relationship between her and her brother oh, genius!! Surely no one will sympathize with her after that!!”

And meanwhile in the real world Blitz and the rest of IMP are happily carrying on their kill for pay business without needing to rely on Stolas, Octavia is happily living with her mom and uncle and Stolas is living on the streets living off of lucky charms and crying himself to sleep as he reads comments pointing out how much of an abuser he is.

This is my new headcanon it’s the only way I can tolerate this series

I tried to leave Kudos on a fic that was already deleted (i had the tab open) and I was expecting it to just bug out or not work but this is so much more unsettling