I’d Suggest You Read The Tags From The Op Of This One!

“Maybe…”

Personally, I think Demo would think it’s sweet, but also be a bit ticked off because he’s independent and doesn’t necessarily need someone else to see for him. Just because he’s blind in one eye doesn’t mean he’s completely deaf on that side either.

I think he does know that Sniper is there, or is at least aware of it. He just never mentions it and eventually forgets he’s there entirely since he’s so used to his presence being there. It’s not that he doesn’t care, it’s just that Sniper is way too quiet and is there so often that he becomes adjusted to it.

He does try and make it clear to Sniper that despite enjoying his presence, he’d like to have a bit more trust that he knows how to operate without one eye. And, as much as he appreciates it, he needs Sniper to focus on doing his job and taking people out before they reach him instead.

Soon, it becomes a challenge to see how many people Sniper can headshot before they get to the rest of the team or even get close to getting a hit in, and the team is better off for it. Demo tallies it and congratulates Sniper every time he beats his own record, making him better in the long run and ensuring that the trust between them isn’t lost.

headcanon that Sniper always stands on Demoman’s blind side bc he considers himself the ‘eagle-eyes of the team’ or something & feels personally responsible for making sure Demo doesn’t get surprised by shit coming at him out of left field.

Starter headcanons!

We’re beginning with some Engie headcanons!

ENGINEER

Despite his profession, Engie is probably the sweetest team member.

Basically the team mom. Everyone loves when he and Pyro are on cooking duty for the week, because you’re guaranteed to have the best barbecued, baked, fried, or buttered foods in your life.

Dell knew from the beginning that Scout and Spy were related. He was shocked when few other members had noticed the fact, and kept it to himself.

Because of this, fatherly instinct kicked in and he treats Scout like he would a son. Scout may not respect his inventions, but Dell knows he won’t hesitate to come talk to him if he needs a shoulder to lean on.

Tell an incorrect fact anywhere in the base, and Engie will BOLT to correct you. This man has what can only be described as a spidey sense. He could be in his workshop with the door closed, you could whisper, on the other side of the base on another floor, and he would just... know.

The best way to get Engineer to sleep is to use this fact to your advantage. Utter a clearly untrue fact in his room, and watch him come running.

As amiable as Engie is, he’s still a mercenary, and a cold blooded killer at that. He’s painfully aware that he appears a friendly face to all, and is basically a child magnet when disguised as a civilian, since he’s required to ditch the glove and hat, but refuses to take off the goggles.

He’s not opposed to telling stories to the brave little ankle biters, or showing off his robotic arm (albeit shyly). But he tries to throw in a good lesson or two, or spook ‘em off after a while with his whole cyborg shtick.

In the end, Engineer just wants to make sure those kids are inspired to get an education, then take a path that ain’t his own.

Imagining the future; a public statement (or rather questioning) about why 39,000 students across the entirety of the United States, all majoring in some form of engineering, cited their inspiration as varying descriptions of a cyborg man who wanted them to share their knowledge to make the world a better place. Occasionally, Dell is approached at bars or random locations by adults and children alike, sheepishly asking if they’re the cyborg man they met when they were little, or that their big brothers and sisters told stories of. All he gives is a knowing smile and a handshake.

Engineer can’t sit still for very long. He’s always tinkering with something or fidgeting with anything that could be used for scrap or built into something else.

An insomniac, Dell has trouble falling asleep at night thanks to his constant urge to work. He won’t rest until he’s finished with his latest idea, or until he passes out from exhaustion.

The other mercs usually have to carry him to his room after a few nights in a row of this behavior, especially if he had an off day on the field because of it. Even then, there’s no guarantee you won’t find him sitting up in his bed, scribbling down his dream inventions before they fade from memory, muttering equations under his breath.

Sews stuffed animals for pyro and any other merc who wants one. Each mercenary has at least one, even spy and scout, since they were given as gifts a long time ago. Scout would never admit it, but he keeps it under his bed and cuddles it when he has a particularly bad nightmare. Spy has it on display on his shelf, perfectly polished. If he gets drunk and emotional, you’ll probably find a sobbing Frenchman wrapped around a big soft plushie on the floor.

The stuffed animals:

Scout: a little white rabbit with black buttons for eyes, and a tiny fitted headset with a mini hat perched on top. It’s velcro.

Spy: a black cat plushie with blue buttoned eyes and checkered overalls. It has a blue bow tie.

Sniper: A green felt and fabric chameleon. Has a lime -> blue -> red satin texture gradient on its tail and large black beads for eyes.

Soldier: Just. An eagle. Photorealistic eagle texture filled with stuffing. He knows.

Engie: Teddy! Cuddles teddy bear. Big bear. Very soft, very good.

Medic: a recreation of Archimedes with large cotton wings. Has a patch of red on its chest and the buttons used for its eyes are a very subtle cherry color, almost unnoticeable unless you see it in good lighting. When not being held at night, you can occasionally catch a glimpse of the birds cuddled up to it in the day, save for Archimedes himself, who keeps trying to fight it.

Heavy: Were you expecting a bear? Nope! It’s a salmon. Being filled with stuffing of course, but has a soft wooden spine linked together by string. Clatters together softly like chimes sometimes when shaken, but if you do you’re getting socked in the face by heavy. The little wooden framework allows it mobility, so that heavy can comfortably hold it during his nightmares without waking up with stiff shoulders.

Demo: a penguin with an eyepatch. About the height of his forearm with a mix of a sort of softer denim texture for the body and polyester for the spots and patterns. Has a red chiffon bow tie attached to it, and the one eye it has is a big white bead to match the accents. Definitely has a tiny scrumpy bottle. Also definitely not haunted. Certainly, without a doubt.

Pyro: The very first was a balloonicorn! A few others were based off of pyros crayon sketches of pyroland, but there’s just too many to describe! Engie can’t get enough of making the little firebug clap their hands in excitement and endearment after a bad day or stormy weather, having gifted them another soft toy for their collection.

But to pyro, Engie is the best stuffed animal of them all. Passing on the battlefield? Hug. Working in the garage? Hug. Underneath a vehicle performing maintenance? Damn right they’re getting under there somehow! Because Engie is the only one who seems to understand what they see, what they say, how they act.

Hey look buddy,

He’s an engineer.

He solves problems.

Reasons to love Heavy TF2

(Hey if anyone has the source of whoever posted this particular gif of meet the heavy, let me know and I’ll update!)

I wasn’t kidding when I said I was overwhelmed with love for heavy for no particular reason. Heavy appreciation post with additions from suggests discord server members! :]

Makes very very good sandwiches and is able to share with others, very generous and kind

protects everyone at all costs

Russian

has a PhD in Russian literature

incredibly intelligent yet also muscle man

brawny and bear-like

could crush a man then hug you gently

very huggable, 100/10

cares a lot for his family

worries over his family a lot, but gives them the benefit of the doubt when they say they’re okay and can do things on their own

encourages his family members and teammates to practice self care, be strong, pursue their goals, etc.

reads a lot, would be nice to read together with him in a dimly lit room by a fire

could pick you up with one hand

you’d have to be picked up or be on a ladder to kiss him (very positive trait)

trains a lot and is serious about his job

team player, great at getting things done

reliable in anything, especially knowledgable in subjects and great at doing heavy lifting

allows birds to sit on his gun despite being very particular about its appearance and who is allowed to touch Sasha.

trusting of everyone, and also trustworthy because of it.

not afraid to try new things or put his trust in someone who others may not want to (Ex. Medic)

gentle giant in general, could pet doves without much trouble despite having such huge hands

large hands, probably calloused from how hard he works!

Also wears very cool gloves.

very muscular!!! Can carry around Sasha and his other miniguns despite them being incredibly heavy and expensive to fire

patient as well!!!

mother hen instinct, probably makes a mean soup for those who have colds

can probably also bake very well because of his culture and upbringing-

he is the heavy weapons guy what’s not to love!!!

Thanks for the ask on @talk-to-the-mercs ! Pyro has a question for you...can you guess his favorite Disney movie?

“From... From the research I-I’ve done, maybe... Something like- um, Peter Pan? Oh! Or- or Alice in Wonderland! I-I think that’s the name of... That movie. Um, please... Don’t tell anybody I sent this letter. EQUINOX OFFICE 165 - SECRETARY ELWYNE - TOP PRIORITY MESSAGE

stop that! stop reading my mind! >:(

hi! basically, i made a color coded characters uquiz 

that’s all :)

I GASPED WHOEVER SET THIS UP IS LEGENDARY

awwwwwww 

Late night post but that’s okay. This is sort of a comfort(?) post based on a fic I read that made me think about this.

The night out in the desert can get chilly at times, and incredibly dark. Walking out there, shoes crunching against gravel as the crickets sing, the one place you’ll usually find light is Sniper’s van.

Usually he takes his time later into the evening and night to himself, away from the other mercs to sharpen his weapons, listen to the radio, engage in hobbies or just stare at the wall, relax.

If you were to knock and enter, friend or s/o- he’d allow you in seeing as you’re there rather late, perfectly fine with spending a quiet bit of time with you to just... be there with each other, maybe with you leaning on his shoulder or side for comfort.

That’s not what this headcanon is about though, it’s the fact that the light in his van is definitely incredibly yellow in contrast to the outside, not white but yellow. The orangey, warm tones that wrap around the inside of the van make for the ideal place to rest, think, sleep... not to mention compared to the outside chill, it’s slightly heated, not quite stuffy, but warm and nice to sit inside. Not toasty, but not normal room temperature either.

Being a camper van, there’s not loads of space inside, but it’s not quite cramped either. Storage is off to the sides, there’s a mini fridge, a small area to cook food... the bed is a nest of worn blankets, old pillows and maybe an item or two, such as the smaller kukri he has hidden between the mattress and the wall facing the front of the van.

Basically, it’s like a light at night during a camping trip, the blankets feel almost akin to a very well built sleeping bag (mega comfy ykno), everything there is distinctly his...

Wow ok am I touch starved or what?

i am

Makin’ my way downtown (the sequel)

it’s friday, post the dancing demoman

another post about tf2 scammers

about a week ago i made a post about what types of tf2 specific scams are floating around steam, how to avoid them, and how to identify a scammer. a scammer literally just added me and to a newer player/steam user, their profile could come across as legit so i'd like to go through it and pick apart some of the red flags i look for when people like this add me on steam. hopefully it'll help some people lol idk

this is the profile of the person that added me. it seems normal enough at first, they have a decent steam level and their profile is personalized with artwork and a background. they've also written a bit about their hobbies and favorite tf2 maps in their description. initially, i thought this person knew me from tf2's steam forum and added me from there, but i did some snooping around just to be safe.

here is their full description. i know this might seem pretty normal, but for me personally descriptions like this are a red flag in my mind. the first part would be fine if they had any workshop submissions or had posted their work anywhere, but they haven't so it looks more like they just added some random hobbies specific to tf2 to make them look more legit. i've also never seen anybody list their favorite maps on their profile and in combination with everything else it just seems like they're trying to come across as more knowledgeable about the game than they actually are. this isn't enough to get me to block or report somebody immediately, but it does make me raise an eyebrow at least.

next, i scroll down and i see what games they play/own. 7k hours in tf2 is mighty impressive, but there's another red flag here: these are the only games this person owns and has played, and they're both free to play. for someone who has been on steam since 2015 at the very least, you'd think they'd play more than just tf2 and csgo.

another red flag is their friends list: there's only 8 people here. again, if they've been playing tf2 since 2015 as they claim, it means they'd have been on steam since then as well and most people would have a lot of people added in that time. (i've been on steam since 2014 and have 342 people added.) i know some people only like to add close friends or people they trust, but if this person added me out of nowhere and i've never spoken to them prior.

with all this in mind their profile is extremely suspicious, so at this point i've got a good hunch that they're a scammer. let's dig a bit deeper.

private inventories are another red flag as i mentioned in my previous post about scams. you can see the trade history of some items using websites like backpack.tf, and because of this a lot of scammers will keep their inventories private to prevent people from seeing if their items were stolen from someone else. it also prevents you from seeing what they have if they're chatting to you about trading.

this is an absolute dead giveaway. despite having 7k hours in tf2, they have absolutely no playtime on any of the classes. not only that, but every single one of their achievements were unlocked on the exact same day at the exact same time, which is impossible to do unless you're using an external program. it seems like this person used the program to unlock some achievements, then idled on the menu to inflate their hours on their profile. this is also why a lot of scammers won't have their stats visible; it's to prevent you from seeing if they actually play the game or not.

so yeah after seeing all this, i was 100% sure this was a scammer. here's them proving me right by doing the "we need you to play on/vote for our team there's money involved and we'll give you items" scam.

when i'm talking to a scammer i like to pretend to be engaged in order to keep them engaged as well and waste their time a bit, and because of this there's another red flag to add to the heaps of them this guy already has: why would you add a heavy/sniper main and ask them to play soldier or scout, especially when soldier is their least played class? surely someone who is looking for teammates for a tournament where money is involved would also check the stats of the people they're supposed to be playing with.

i sent them a couple more messages and they unfriended me shortly after. i've since blocked + reported them for scamming/phishing.

ONLY REAL AMERICANS CAN ROCKET JUMP SAFELY, SO I’LL JUST HAVE TO DO IT FOR YOU, FRENCHFRY!