James Is Actually Just Gonna Wander Around With Cordelia's Glove And Mourn Over It For At Least 1/3 Of

Get to know me meme

tagged by @rottenlaertes! thank you!

do you make your bed? sometimes yes, sometimes no

what’s your favourite number? Four!

what is your job? I graduated college and don’t have one yet

if you could go back to school would you? yes, i really liked school and i kinda miss the routine and structure of it

can you parallel park? no, i can’t at all

a job you had that would surprise people? all of my old jobs were terribly predictable actually so i can’t answer this

do you think aliens are real? yes, i think it’s very improbable that we’re the only ones in the entire universe but i don’t think our conception of them might be very accurate what with the green skin and huge eyes etc

can you drive a manual car? no, i can't

what’s your guilty pleasure? i can’t think of one because if i ever feel this way, i try to ignore it until it goes away bc it kinda makes me feel bad to feel this way about other people's work

tattoos? no, but I’d like to get some! I bounce around between ideas but whatever i think of is always small and has some religious value.

favourite colour? I really like green and red (specifically 'wine-dark’)

favourite type of music? I don’t have one but I think I listen to pop music mostly

do you like puzzles? I haven’t done a puzzle in years, so the answer here will also be I don’t know, sorry lol

any phobias? bugs and heights

favourite childhood sport? i liked playing badminton growing up

do you talk to yourself? i do, i like to read out loud and reiterate the ideas behind what i’ve read so through hearing i can understand more, especially with texts that are really convoluted. and this might be a little weird but if i get really excited about a book i start talking to it like the character can hear me (when i was reading the charioteer, i actually audibly said: ‘laurie we are not going to do this please stop’ during the adrian scene and ‘wait, what happened, tell me what happened’ when i realised the ellipses were concealing something in chapter two lol)

what movie(s) do you adore? I’m not a big movie person, but fellowship of the ring is the perfect nostalgic summer afternoon movie for me

coffee or tea? coffee!

first thing you wanted to be growing up? I’ve always wanted to be a writer!

I have no idea who to tag! but if you guys would like @nurseadriansbrother, @argyleheir I'd love to read your responses (and i'm sorry if you've already been tagged in this and i'm bothering you with it again) and ofc anyone else who wants to!

hmm, is the title "The Beautiful Cordelia" a nod to Jane Austen's "The Beautifull Cassandra"

"FRIEND, greet at Silves many a pleasant spot

We knew, and if they recollect us not, Say I remember them, though far away. To Sharájíb, my palace, thou shalt say 'Greeting! The young man who saluteth thee Longs for thy joys and thy tranquillity.'"

I think we're too harsh on medieval painters because this is legitimately what some poodle mixes look like

somewhere off in the distance i can hear the herondales readying to battle the man behind this account

I like Grace but I'm thinking that leaving her alone to testify to Charlotte was very bad actually. I know James didn't really have an option at the time but, still, I'm just very worried about it.

just finished the charioteer today and can't stop thinking about it, will probably start rereading it again today smh

i have returned to the emptiness which inevitably follows reading a very very good book and having nothing to read afterwards because i can't think of anything that would be as good...(this is my not so subtle way of asking if anyone knows books similar to the charioteer and can recommend them 😭)

I hope you'll be able to post! I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Re the Alec line - - I'm taking it in the sense that Alec finally gets to do what Ralph never allowed him to do in their relationship: help him. And it's kind of sweet to see all the effort he had to go to in order to make sure Laurie straightens everything out.

A little random blurb but: I really liked Alec and Ralph's friendship. When I was reading, I got the impression they were somewhat similar in character and this was their issue before when they were together. But maybe I'm wrong here; Alec does say Ralph's capacity to shoulder responsibility is singular and he doesn't share it. I can't think of much beyond these small thoughts but seeing it all laid out made me wonder about it more.

At the end of The Charioteer, Laurie lies to Ralph but feels the lie as if it's true. There's something that must be done, and only he can do it. He accepts this, even if he lies in order to achieve it.

Before, Ralph told Laurie he hates to stand by watching while there's pain or the possibility of it, and do nothing. It's not the way he's made, he says. This is a direct contrast to Andrew, who we see literally standing, watching and doing nothing when caring for Charlot. This is not because Andrew is unkind, it is because there is right and wrong and nothing whatever in between. Ralph is not like this: people need someone, he takes on that responsibility, even if it isn't his to shoulder. He acts like God, they say. He's the opposite of Andrew in this regard. Maybe the point is that Laurie isn't like Andrew either, although he loves him. It's also not in his nature to stand and watch people suffer; this is why he felt something ought to be done in school when Ralph was being kicked out, and why he feels it at the end of the book when he realizes what Ralph is planning to do. It's why he feels the pressing demand to deceive Charlot even as he knows that, in his right mind, the man would never want it. I got the sense the first time I read the book and now the second, that Laurie is much more generally suited to Ralph, and this is why.

I don't know if this makes sense, I've not gotten much sleep. Any thoughts? Do you think this is right, wrong? Am I overthinking it?

It's only been a little bit of time since I reread the book (maybe 2-3 weeks) but since then Andrew's letter is the one part I keep randomly thinking about. Specifically:

"The thing you want to kill is really in yourself. That is why people become cruel in war, because they are doing what I did...there is much more I should like to say, but now I shall never be able to say it. You know I shall remember you all my life.

Love,

Andrew."

I have this idea that Laurie keeps Andrew's letter in his pocket the way he kept the Phaedrus with him at all times; at the end of the book, we see it's still there and I don't think Laurie would get rid of it.