Jin Of Bangtan Is A Vampire: A Conspiracy Post

jin of bangtan is a vampire: a conspiracy post

is allergic to garlic!??? what sort of red-blooded human is allergic to garlic???? suspicious.

there’s also the fact that there’s a running gag that he never seasons his food enough. who else but a vampire will consistently not season his foods right???

somehow balanced a top world class university course load on top of multiple world tour and stadium concerts on top of bangtan on top of significantly improving his dancing and singing abilities on top of taking care of his members physically and emotionally on top of regularly connecting with fans and knowing all the memes and playing video games and learning the guitar and taking care of his sugar gliders. time bends around him im telling you.

uncanny intelligence to the point of telepathy. he’s not only incredibly emotionally intelligent, he’s also super smart in general? see: blue village where he was the only one who guessed who the intruders were, the escape room, mimicking his members to a T and knowing what they’re doing at any time, his numerous wins in games while fooling his members, the whisper challenge….i could go on. dont test me.

a multi-lingual comedian. do you know how hard it is to be H I L A R I O U S in your own language??? much less a language you don’t speak as a native?????? the amount of cultural and linguistic and intellectual hoops you have to jump through?????

hasn’t aged a day since he came into the public eye. what the literal fuck.

godly proportions. seriously. no human can have THOSE shoulders and then THAT waist and then THIGHS??? he can’t be mortal

visage of a god. i don’t really need to go on do i?

flawless skin. i dare you to remember a time he had less than perfect skin. this man pulls all-nighters, eats snacks and instant ramen like he has a pocket dimension in his stomach, flies across the world all the time, is under a lot of stress…..and what? not even one (1) pimple. unreal.

inhuman strength. he can out arm wrestle our resident muscle pig jeon jeongguk and carry members around no problem. in fact, he is what inspired him to work out.

literally hates being cold. he famously stuck 12 hand warmers in his clothes for a photoshoot. in fact hand warmers are so commonly found on his person that hes nicknamed ‘hand warmer fairy’ bc he always hands them out to staff and members. hes also known for sleeping in duvets in the summer heat and hating how cold winter is and wearing multiple shirts underneath to keep warm. 

intimidating aura. like this man Has Presence. his stare can pierce through armor. his smile can untether the world. pretty sure his face is what invented gravity.

hella rich. he fed bangtan out of his own pocket during those early debut days. he fed 7!!!! Pubescent!!!!! Growing!!!!!! Adolescents!!!!!! 3 meals!!!!! A day!!!!!!!!! do you know how much money that costs??????? and incase that doesn’t drive home how rich he is, he also paid for a multimillion dollar apartment in cash. like what the fuck.

conclusion: Kim Seokjin is an vampire