Cumdip

I want to hug this man

And feel the stick and be stuck there.

My fictional crushes really prove that I don't give a fuck how you look and it's all personality based. I'm crushing on all sorts of creatures where looks means absolutely nothing. Sentient robots that all look the same? I like specifically those two with the personality of loser and brave woman. Monsters? What are they like? Is she a badass? Is he a sweet but nervous wreck? Better question are they a cocky little shit? If the answer is yes I want them and any others can fuck off!

Sex is cool or whatever but you ever have fundip?

What if someone went to hell for being gay but when they got there Satan was just like, "you're not here for sinning or anything, gay people just have to come to hell because there are too many homophobic assholes in heaven and God doesn't like people fighting so you're down here to avoid that. Don't worry my child, there's a room for you over there, I'll take care of you, you can hang out with all the other cool gays whenever you want to, and if you ever get bored you can totally be a demon just ask and I'll do it." The gay person realizes that the devil is actually an ally and that the lord might be a homophobe.

This man does not love his son and you cannot change my mind.

If asked his response is just "emotions aren't scientific"

All things considered Dib's Dilemma is objectively pretty low down on the scale of ways in which Dib has been psychologically tormented over the course of canon, but I'm not sure if anything has ever made me feel so genuinely distressed about it, because the entire thing is Dib practicing genuine empathy from a place of personal experience towards someone who never has and never will do the same for him.

Something both Dib and Membrane seem to have in common is an almost pathological need to maintain their version of the Truth™ no matter the personal consequence—they cannot make concessions or compromise their views even for their own direct benefit. Only that's exactly what Dib does here, and it is genuinely just so maddeningly backwards to watch this kid go to bat for a father who has never once validated him or protected him from ridicule, specifically because he knows how unbearable it is to be constantly disrespected and disbelieved. He proves Professor Membrane right at his own expense, because it's the thing he wants most in the world and he loves his father too much to withhold it the way it's been withheld from him.

And what REALLY fucks with me is that Membrane understands exactly how significant this is (perhaps because it is exactly the thing that he's never been able to bring himself to do). He understands the sacrifice being made and still he will not do the same. I literally cannot overstate how much I hate it when this man is self-aware.

Being "Jr." or "the Second" is the real life equivalent of having to put numbers after a username.

“I’m John Smith, and this is my son, John Smith Underscore Sixty-Nine.”

Oh these? No these aren't jolly ranchers, these are my own yummy snack, ranch ranchers (jolly ranchers made of real ranch!)

You suck. You're not allowed here. You can't join my club.

What club? Oh it's the club of ugly people, and you're not invited, cause I hate you.

You need to leave, you are banned from my ugly club, banned for life.

I HAVE COSPLAYED (poorly cause I ran out of time real fast)

Do with this what you will

Lives in my head rent free

BALONEY