Sobbing, Wailing, Screaming, Etc.

Spoilers for act 5 of Warhammer 40k: Rogue trader!!!!

So, the scene with the different versions of the RT right? I'm not quite sure what the lore reason for the sudden merging of realities was, but I'm not complaining just to be clear. I went Iconoclast for my first run, so maybe you get different versions, depending on which path you take. But the Glorious version???? She's living in my head rent free. Just imagine, you get pulled out of your own life abruptly and are thrust into the position of rogue trader of a burning protectorate, while all the people who could have supported you along the way are dead. You're on your own, at best people fear and/or respect you, at worst they want you dead or to use you. And still you manage to put out all the fires and even come out better for it at the end, of course you'd develop a massive ego. You're still alone, you have no true friends to speak of, but you clearly don't need them. All this you managed on your own. Then suddenly, on your way to claim your biggest trophy yet, you're confronted with three different versions of you. The kicker? You're the only one standing all alone. Look! There's the people you saw die, that left you to fend for yourself. One of them has a whole squad to back them up! Even a full on heretic at least has one person with her. Among the big group, one of them sneers at you and calls you the epitome of everything detestable about Rogue Traders. The version of you with the big retinue looks you in the eyes and tells you she pities you. (I have a hc that my rt is a really sociable gal, so this hits extra hard for the glorious version, even if she tells herself she doesn't need anyone). How dare she?! She should be grovelling before you. She needed all those people to achieve the same things you did. Of course you agree to kill her first. And then... And then of course you're defeated, because you were outnumbered from the start, because here you can't hide behind your glory and riches. You die on the cold stones of a reality that isn't even your own, at the hands of those that call every version but you, friend.

Another drawing of Evalyne. (And some pointy teeth I guess). I really like how this one turned out. Especially the waist coat thingy. I found this bomb reference on Pinterest for it. The ears aren't really where I want them to be though. Oh well.

"People often ask me if I like being the 'goody two shoes' of the Expanse, seeing as I don't put entire planets to the sword like Chorda nor do I leave them to the wolves like Winterscale."

"To those detractors I must say, my people love me, my profits have never been higher and I'm pretty sure none of them have had the amount of interesting bedpartners I have"

I've decided that I want to learn to draw properly and what better way to learn than to draw the DnD characters of me and my fellow players? I'll be posting my favorite sketches semi-regularly, mainly to keep myself motivated and to get a nice overview of my progress. Today's top sketch: Evalyne, a shifter sorceress. She belongs to one of my fellow players and I met her in my first ever Campaign. If any artists stumble across this and have advice, I'd be glad to hear it!

It's so weird talking to people who's view of "here's the way life is for everyone" is shattered as soon as they talk to someone with disabilities (physical, mental illness, any). Like you'll say you'll have a problem and instead of helping you they'll argue with you about how you're not actually facing that problem. Like,

Me: Hey, I'm really struggling to find a job and a part of it is my resume. I was depressed & psychotic during highschool so I didn't do anything to gain skills or achievements to put on my resume. I also don't have anyone to put as a reference. What can I do?

Them: You can add your skills, hobbies, clubs you're in, and different volunteer work you've done! You can also get your teacher as a reference.

Me: I already know what to put on a resume, my issue is that I don't have things that I can use. Also, I'm in my mid 20s so I don't know if I can put my highschool teacher as a reference.

Them: Well if you're a part of a church or an activity group, you could add that. Also, think of any projects you've worked on in the past.

Me: I already know you can put these things on a resume. I'm not looking for suggests of things I've already done, I'm looking for what I can do now if I haven't done anything.

Them: There's no way you didn't do anything during highschool?? What about some odd jobs you definitely did for extra money, like babysitting or mowing the lawn?

Me: I spent all of highschool either in modified classes or in bed doing nothing - not even hobbies, what about that do you not understand?

And then you talk to someone who's also disabled and they're like "Here's a bunch of jobs you can do from home that don't pay much but look good on a resume, here's some free online courses that also look good on a resume, here's how you can be making small amounts of money in the meantime, here's some things you can put besides a professional reference, and here are your rights if your future employer tries to take advantage of your disability - which you probably shouldn't tell them about unless you need accommodations."

And suddenly my will to continue trying returns!

It's been a long time since anyone mentioned us. It's been a long time since that vicious war that began on October 7, 2023, and continues to this very moment, that war that left no stone, no person, no tree untouched. The Gaza war that no one cares about anymore. Hundreds of people are dying every day. I could be next, as happened to me a few hours ago when I was walking in the street and was shot at, two bullets almost hitting me. I miraculously survived. We can say it's a true miracle. I survived this time, and I probably won't survive the next time, or most likely I won't survive, because this is our situation: killing, bombing, destruction, and hunger. They make us hate life, so we wish for death or don't wish for it. We are already dying every day. Our souls are burned daily from the lack of food, water, and medicine, from the constant bombing, and from the forced displacement from our homes. We no longer live a normal life. We die a thousand times a day. Please save us. Please stop the war on us. We want a normal life, free of killing, bombs, and explosions. We want to live like other humans. Help us. Your donation keeps me alive. Alive so I don't starve to death, and it can save me from this devastating war when the crossings open, so donate to us.

gofundme.com

Donate to Help Nader Al-Anqar and his family overcome this war in Gaza, organized by Nader Alanqar

I am a young man who loves my studies very much and I drea… Nader Alanqar needs your support for Help Nader Al-Anqar and his family overc

A sketch I did in class today. She's a PC I haven't gotten to use yet, but that's how I imagine her to look. I found a bussing ass sketch on Pinterest the other day and have been sort of immitating the style, especially with the braids and the nose. I think I'm really figuring out how to do the outlines in a way that I like. I almost feel like I'm getting to a point where I can share my doodles with my DnD group without being embarrassed about it.

TMA COMMISSIONS FOR GAZA

What is TMA Commissions For Gaza?

You can get small TMA commissions (a little drawing or short fanfic) in exchange for donating to 1 of 10 Gofundme's of Palestinians in Gaza (starting May 17th)

There are about 60 artists signed up already who have volunteered to work for free for this to happen. Until May 16th, you can join too!

The project is fanmade and has no connection to Rusty Quill

Our carrd: https://magnusforgaza.carrd.co/ Everything else under the cut ↓

How can I participate as an artist?

If you want to support our cause and join as a visual artist or writer - thank you! You can fill out this form to sign up: Artists Form Here's a seperate post with information for artists.

How can I commission?

1: Donate to one of the 10 gofundme's. (any amount) 2: Fill out the commission form and describe what art you want! 3: And now we wait. We don't know how many commissions each artist will take on so please be patient💚

Where does the money go?

We, the organizers and artists of TMA commissions for Gaza, gain no money from this. We ask participants to donate to 1 of these 10 Gofundme's by Gazans who are trying to survive and evacuate Gaza. 5 of these Gofundmes are on the Operation Olive Branch list and the other 5 are friends and family of one of our organizers. The funds are needed for expenses such as medical care, food and first and foremost to pay for crossing the border to Egypt.

Why only 10 Gofundme's?

We hope to be more effective when focusing on just a small number of Gofundme's and not for example the whole Operation Olive Branch list. Providing a smaller number of places to donate to may also help donators to not get overwhelmed by the amount of people who need their help. If you have any questions, send us a message here on Tumblr!

CARRD: https://magnusforgaza.carrd.co/

website

Art Study(?) I did, of a frame from the music video of 'The Flea Waltz' by Tadano Kaede. I did it because I absolutely adore the art style of the video. Both the Music and art of the video are absolutely gorgeous. I like how the mouth turned out, but I had a few oopsies with the eyes. I also didn't quite get the yellows flowering into the hair effect. I got a bit experimental with the hair and I think I like it.