Drawing Them Is Not Enough, I Need To Physically Give Everyone In The Falsettos 2016 Cast A Tight Hug

ohoho boy hey everybody

I am not back with content that will make sense

basically, accs on other media are monitored by my mom and she doesn't know I've watched invincible but I NEED there to be more content for willrick so guess what─ to the six other people obsessed with green flag gays, I'm writing a LONG oneshot (to be posted on AO3 at some point) that I'll link here AND making fanart that I'll post here

I will provide for us guys

I WILL COOK I AM COOKING

thank you for coming to my self-indulgent TED talk 😊

”im gay!” “im straight!”

yeah, and now im late for dinner late again

DUDE EVERY SINGLE TIME I LISTEN TO TWIN SIZED MATTRESS OR BE NICE TO ME, JUST:

✨JARED VIBES✨

Nik that's a lot of The Front Bottoms are you okay

uhm

I was looking for a picture of joe from slih for my discord pfp and holy shit 😰 who let the republicans into broadway. WHO

shit scared me oh my god

I had one a while ago that had a bunch of comics to go along with it but I kinda fell out of it 🤷

i think the world needs more spider-man x falsettos aus. please

absolutely yes :0

ayo random but is that kleinsen discord still up? TvT

Still up and semi-active! Want the link?

DEH Quotes #16! <3 (Incorrect)

-

Evan: What do we call disobeying the law?

Connor: A hobby.

Evan: *Glares at him*

Connor: That I don't engage in?

-

Jared: Alcohol is delicious! I mean MAlicious. Sorry guys, I'm really drunk right now.

-

Evan: What do rainbows mean to you?

Connor: Gay rights.

Jared: There's money-?

Zoe: The promise of God to never destroy the Earth with a flood again.

Alana: It is an optical phenomenon that separates sunlight into its continuous spectrum when the sun shines on raindrops.

-

Jared: Isn’t it weird that we can’t ride any other animal except horses. Like if horses weren’t a thing, humans would be fucked cause we couldn’t ride any other animals. Like riding animals wouldn’t really be a thing. We should probably be more grateful to horses.

Evan: Elephants?..

Jared: Blocked.

Alana: Camels.

Jared: Extra blocked.

Miguel: DONKEYS???

Jared: Ultra blocked.

Connor: That dick-

Jared:

Jared: Followed,

-

Evan: Your a lying piece of shit!

Jared: Oh yeah? You're the idiot that thinks you can get away with everything you do, WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD!

Connor: I'm leaving and I'm taking custody of Miguel!

Alana, aggressively putting away the Monopoly board: Aaaaaand that's enough Monopoly for today!

-

Alana: What makes you all smile?

Evan: Friends and family!

Zoe: Snacks.

Connor: I dunno, victory and success?

Jared: Face muscles-

-

Zoe: I'm going to be an adult in two years and I only have a vague idea of what I'm going to do.

Jared: I’m gonna be an adult in less than a year and I don’t know what I’m doing with my life.

Evan: I'm with you there...

Connor: I'm an adult and I don't know what I'm doing with my life.

Alana: Three types of people.

-

*The Gang's thoughts on stabbing:

Alana: Would never stab anyone.

Evan: Would stab someone in retaliation.

Jared: Yells "I won't hesitate, bitch!" first.

Miguel: Would stab without warning.

Connor: Would stab as a warning.

-

Evan: You know what I learned from my friendship with Jared?

Zoe: There’s no such thing as "too mean"?

Alana: Never let your friends know for sure if you like them?

Connor: Always hold a grudge-??

-

11 y/o Evan: Jared won't wear his glasses-

12 y/o Jared: Evs, look, I wore the glasses for today and now I can see so much better. See?

12 y/o Jared: *Points at 10 y/o Zoe* That's Zoe,

12 y/o Jared: *Points at 10 y/o Alana* That's Alana,

12 y/o Jared: *Points at 13 y/o Connor* And that's Sasquatch.

-

Connor: Plants have feelings too?! What is this?? Now I can't even eat my food???

Zoe: You can eat a rock.

Alana: Air-

Miguel, cracking up: The fabric of time and space-

Jared: Chugging a bottle of bleach can solve all your problems.

Evan: You guys are NOT helpful.

-

Zoe: Alright, let's play Kiss Marry Kill.

Zoe: First, who would you kill?

Evan: *Points at Jared*

Connor: *Points at Jared*

Miguel: *Points at Jared*

Jared: *Shrugs* Yeah, I'd probably kill me too.

-

Evan: Look guys, I need help.

Jared: Love help?

Alana: Financial help?

Zoe: Emotional help?

Connor: Help moving a body?

*Everybody looks at Connor*

Connor: ...What?

-

Connor: Don't go picking a fight with me. I could make your life very difficult.

Evan, sarcastically: Oh no. As if I would know what it felt like to have a difficult life.

-

Connor: From now on we will be using code names.

Connor: You can address me as Eagle One.

Connor: Evan is “been there done that”.

Connor: Zoe is “currently doing that”.

Connor: Miguel is “it happened once in a dream”.

Connor: Alana is “if I had to pick a dude/gal/enby”.

Connor: And Jared is..

Connor: Eagle Two

Jared: Oh thank fucking god.

-

Connor: *Coughs out blood*

Miguel: Don't die, Connor!

Connor: Don't tell me what to do!

-

Evan: How do you know how to kiss? Like who teaches you?

Jared: Well it’s actually a class, but unfortunately it’s full right now.

Jared: Would you like me to tutor you?

Alana: That was smooth.

-

Alana: You look mentally ill.

Jared: I am. Let's go.

-

Evan: I only have two emotions- exhaustion and stress. And I’m somehow always feeling both simultaneously.

-

Connor, high asf: Mint is just cold spicy.

The Squad: ...

Jared: What the actual fuck is wrong with you.

-

Connor: I have seen a lot of murders in my time, and all six of them were today.

-

Evan: Shut up, your messing with my train of thought!

Jared: I thought you didn't have a brain, and now your saying you have thoughts??

-

Jared: When I get murdered, can you make sure I become an unsolved case?

Evan: wHat?

Jared: I want to be on Buzzfeed Unsolved.

Evan: Can we go back to the part when you said "when I get murdered"?

-

Jared: I have met some of the most insufferable people. But they also met me.

-

Evan: I have a new hoodie.

Jared: Wrong.

Jared: We have a new hoodie.

-

Alana: I'm going to ask you to be respectful.

Zoe: I will politely decline.

-

Connor: *writing a letter*

Connor: Dear Santa,

I'm writing to let you know I've been naughty...

And it was worth it you fat, judgemental bastard.

-

Jared: When I first met you, I didn't like you.

Connor: I'm aware of that.

Jared: But then you and I had some time together.

Connor: Uh-huh?

Jared: It did not get better.

-

Jared, having recently lost his glasses: KILL THE BUG!!!

Evan: ....That’s a gecko—

-

Jared: Well, if you're not at least a little bit gay for your friends, then what kind of friend are you?

-

Jared: Sleep is the body’s best safety mechanism.

Alana: How so?

Jared: It keeps you from screwing up for 8 hours.

-

Connor: Guys, there’s a monster under my bed and it’s really ugly.

Zoe, on the bottom bunk: Honestly, fuck you.

-

Jared: Due to personal reasons, I will be fucking sinking to the bottom of the ocean in a metal box.

Zoe: Did Evan say "I love you", and you said "Thanks"?

Jared:

-

Jared: *sees someone doing something stupid*

Jared: What an idiot.

Jared: *realizes it's Evan*

Jared: Wait, that's MY idiot!-

-

Alana: I hope you have an explanation for this!

Evan: We have three, actually.

Jared: Pick your favourite.

-

Connor with a gun to Jared's head: What happens if I pull this trigger? Heaven?

Jared: Bold of you to assume I'll go to Heaven.

-

Connor: What’s up? I’m back.

Evan: I literally saw you die. You died. You were dead

Connor: Death is a social construct.

-

Evan: Just think about this! I’m your hottest friend.

Evan: No, that’s Zoe… I’m your nicest friend.

Evan: No, Alana... I’m your friend!

-

Alana: Question. When they shot Bambi's mother, did you find that a sad moment...at all?

Connor: I'm sure she's mounted on a nice wall in a fine home somewhere.

-

Jared: I have no respect for Santa. Don’t sneak in through the chimney and undermine my authority by bringing my family presents. Walk in through the front door and fight me like a man.

Evan:

Evan: Jared, your Jewish.

-

Alana, talking about Jared: Is this a friend of yours, Evan?

Evan: Kind of? Not really. He's in my life and there's nothing I can do about it.

-

Zoe: I truly believe that water can solve all your problems.

Alana: Weight loss? Drink water.

Evan: Clear skin? Drink water.

Jared: Want to get rid of someone? Drown them.

-

Zoe: So, Evan, do you have a crush on anyone?

Evan: The only crush I have is this crushing anxiety.

-

UGH FR

I think my shuffle did Something Bad is Happening/More Racquetball and then... then fuckin' Love Thy Neighbour?

i find it so funny when the shuffle puts shit like feed me or whizzer going down or blue after a really sad song

like

“you, the one i left behind, if you ever walk this way, come and find me lying in the bed i made…FEED ME. DOES IT HAVE TO BE HUMAN?? FEED ME. DOES IT HAVE TO BE MINE???”

or like

“it’s not up to me, just let me be legally blonde…heyyyyyyy ‘ronica *womp womp womp womp*”

"I'm best when I cheat", yeah, cheat on your WIFE, marvin

@cyclonewest and anyone else who would like to read a mediocre oneshot (lol)!!! here ya go :)

and of course I took that version of Marvin Takes A Victory Shower literally and wrote an entire oneshot off of it because I'm just sexy like that idk