A Lotta Y'all Be Writing Dick As This Terminally Lonely Man With No Friends Like 3/4s Of The DCU Isn't

You know what? I'm crying.

I'm going to have a long post translated into English because I'm bad at English and because I have too many emotions. The fourth episode was definitely a bombshell. In many ways. They gave us a lot of interesting questions and NOT a SINGLE DAMN ANSWER, and it's not like it's a problem. It's cool that Ling Lin has finally begun to realize himself and his desires in isolation from the forced image. It's cool that he ran to save Moon and realized how important it was to him. It's cool that so many people supported him, he's a bunny/sunshine/bun/big guy (as you like it better) and all that. But...

They replaced Nice so quickly...

Okay, let's say again: it was literally publicly announced to the fans that their hero, the man they believed in all this time, was not only replaced by someone completely different, but also because he died. He is not tired, he has not resigned, he has not given up his heroic work, no. Died. And okay, thanks to Ling Lin for not talking about "suicide." He's talking about "death." You can take his words in any way you want (although that's not the point, but still). It just kills me to think that no one, except for the person who was really close to Nice (Wrek), began to grieve for him. Okay, it hasn't been a day since Lin Lin's revelation, I get it. But at the end of the fourth episode, we are shown how the advertisement with Nice's face changes to Linlin's face and no one seems to notice, as if it were....normal? Of course, when the heroes in the world are constantly changing each other and appear and disappear as if at the click of your fingers (yeah, yes, understood, understood at the click of your fingers ha ha) changing a hero at the tenth rank shouldn't be unusual, but... Do the previous heroes get forgotten so quickly?

The first three episodes were filled with the fans' love for Nice. Peculiar, but warm in its own way. They cheered for him, they came to fan meetings, they supported him as much as they could.....And they forgot about him so quickly? Just because.......and why, exactly?

I'm pretty sure they'll show us the backstory of what happened. There is no way such a complex and at the same time terribly interesting character could be so easily forgotten by its creators. Especially considering the shot that recently appeared on Twitter...

In general, the phenomenon of Nice's character and his popularity among the fandom is a topic for a separate conversation, we are not ready for this conversation yet.

But I know for sure that no matter how the creators made him, no matter how crazy, broken, abusive and generally unstable he actually is, I will be delighted.

(what's the point, I'll support him even if he decides to rise from the dead and kill all the other heroes)

((Go ahead, dear! You're walking the road of rage and revenge, and who are we to stop you?)) So! I'm leaving a small message here (rather for myself) because I know that we still have a lot of interesting things to learn about other characters and many of my thoughts will get lost in the flood of new information.

DON'T FORGET HIM.

Never forget that he existed. He was there. It all started with him. And probably it all will end with him.

Imagine looking at a character whose entire premise is that in every stage of his life, he's made every version of himself into someone that inspires people to such a degree that EVERY SINGLE VERSION OF HIM has people wanting to literally follow in his footsteps in some way or another.....

And coming to the conclusion that like.....the most important things about him are the sum of all his trappings. His entirely homemade developed from scratch could not exist if not for what he already was and brought with him BEFORE crafting this newest version of himself trappings, with his greatest trait throughout all of it being his adaptability; his ability and willingness to roll with the punches and not try to simply weather any opposition or changes to his life but instead reshape himself as needed to better fit INTO whatever new shape his life and the world around him takes. All while managing to carry the most innate, fundamental and necessary aspects of himself from one version to the next. Thus every single version of himself is different but simultaneously every single version of himself is also undeniably the same person.

The strength of this character, to me, will always be that he can be so many versions of himself, he can become so many things, all without ever actually losing or discarding any of the aspects of himself he considers most essential, the things he's not willing to lose or give up just to keep going. Finding that road not taken by most, usually because most never even think to look for it as an option. But one that he's always able to find because the one trick he's mastered in his tumultuous life is threading that needle of not just digging in his heels in an unproductive way but rather being selective about when and where he makes a stand and decides "this is not a thing I'm willing to compromise about" but here are places and ways I can and will change and evolve and adapt in order to make it possible for me to hold onto these parts and keep them as they are.

And that's why its always so mind-boggling to me that so many writers can't seem to think of anything else to do with Dick Grayson other than invent some new reason for him to just....not be that person, or to like just take the character whose most basic fundamental trait he's NOT about to compromise on is willingly giving up his spot in the driver's seat of his own life.....and make him just a passenger in his own life and stories.

Dick Grayson at age nine....at age nineteen...at age twenty nine....the one core thread running through all versions of him is the only way he's standing back and letting you call the shots for him or putting him on the sidelines in some way is over his dead body.

HOW he goes about that, what that looks like, who he becomes and what aspects of himself he plays up at some times and what traits he lets fall by the wayside at other times when they offer less in service to his primary goal here....that changes constantly. He changes constantly.

But those changes are almost always (or at least they used to be/should be IN MY OPINION) made with the intention of keeping certain things about him or his life as consistent as possible.

That's the duality of Dick Grayson that I'm here for. The inherent contradiction of him that COULD allow for endless conflict and breaking new narrative ground in all sorts of ways if mined properly:

His eternal willingness to compromise....but only ever in pursuit of doubling down on the ways he's not willing to compromise.

Forever walking that tightrope in ways that only a kid born and raised in a circus could ever hope to.

today i am thinking about zoro and luffy both having two constantly depicted scars. one on their eye each and one on their chest each. so intrinsically intertwined they have matching mortal wounds.

and i know it’s silly, and coincidental, but i like to think it symbolises them understanding each other more and more as time passes.

zoro got his chest scar clambering and falling on the way to his dream, being defeated by mihawk so easily then swearing to never lose again. and luffy who got his chest scar clambering and falling in a different way. they understood ultimate defeat respectively, loss and something that hit, quite literally, over the heart. their chest scars are their most important reminders of strength, the need for it. and loss, the need to avoid it.

and then luffy, who’s eye scar is a self-inflicted wound as he tried to convince shanks he could be a pirate too- he was strong enough. and zoro who got his eye scar during the timeskip, in a way we still don’t completely know, in the height of his self loathing for not being strong enough. they both got the scars around their eyes for the future ahead of them, and in trying desperately to get there. luffy asking shanks to take him onboard, and zoro asking mihawk to train him. the scars around their eyes are ground zeroes, an ask, a plea, complete determination.

one piece started and zoro quickly learned to understand loss, knew loss, while luffy would learn loss so deeply in marineford. one piece started and luffy understood the need helpless desperation, growing up with shanks refusing him. and zoro learned that later, so horribly, after thriller bark turned into the sabaody incident turned into marineford where he couldn’t do anything.

zoro and luffy understand each other so completely, they’re soulmates. but there are still parts of themselves which are obscured, different, simply because they are two different people with two different histories. and those things that are missing come with age, experience or being together. they understand one another more each day, somehow that’s possible, and i think their scars are a good example of it. them learning things which they may not have understood before, connecting to parts of each other they may not have connected to before.

Trying something new, would love feedback/comments?

Nightwing belonged to the Graysons and to Haly’s and to the NTT and to Clark! Nightwing is a Kryptonian mantle that Clark gave Dick - to the person Dick Grayson; to a man he’d know since he was a kid, who Clark trusted with his life, with his son’s life. To Clark’s ‘multiverse constant’, who said Clark taught him ‘the meaning of selflessness and heroism’. Who would always love Clark, Clark who grieved Dick’s death even after JokerSuperman  in jest killed his soul, Clark who was overjoyed to discover Dick’s death fakedundone, who hugged Dick after his Ultra-ego hurtkilled him, Clark, who gave love that didn’t hurt to receive. Nightwing belongs to Donna, to Kid Flash, to Roy and Garth, to Lilith and Raven and Victor and Gar and Joey, to a top heavy tower and life amidst budding gods. Nightwing belongs to Kori, to open skies, and freedom heavily sought and fiercely guarded. To Dick Grayson.

Nightwing, God of Rebirth, belonged to the kid who built a life from broken bodies and a strange, cold city, who picked himself up after countless arguments and a door afist slammed in his face, who re-opened the door and blamed himself for noticing the dent. Who smiled when he heard whispered, half awed, half bitter, ‘he will not bend; his will exceeds his reason’ because if his death meant his team would be safe, how could that be anything but good? Nightwing belong to the boy who loved his teamfriendsfamily with everything in him, who scrounged together the last vestiges of himself to hold off the grim reaper while they lay captive in its path. It belonged to the boy who was replaced, who got back to his feet after losing the love of his life to duty and misfortune, who shouldered the blame as easily as he flew.

Nightwing was the man whose other half died for him; who broke, whose friendsfamily scattered to the winds, whose brotherinarms loved him enough to creating a new teamnotfamily. The man who, when the Gods disappeared, lead the Titans to bring them back. Who rose to his feet each time: when his past burned down, and his present exploded for having known him; who fell on a sword meant for another, and tarnished, brought together a corrupt, thankless city only for it to be snatchedexploded at the very last second by a man he considered foereluctantallyfrie-FOE. Who considered giving in, only to be saved by care finally returned. Who found the love in harshness, and saw the love in duty and under a stiffquiveringatthestateofhisgrandsonsoncharge upper lip. Who rose just as the ground disappeared from under him. Who pulled on a cowl hateddreaded, stepping into the hole in the cave; who smiled under a barage of hissed insults from a childbrother? and avoided the friendsbrotherssisters he yearned so dearly for. Who tried not to cry when the hole in his life refilled only to tear wider with brother gone.  Who looked into the mirror, face creased by loved ones lost and lost love, lined with guilt and grief, and saw a straight back, unbowed shoulders and bright eyes.

Nightwing IS Dick Grayson. No one else.

Aldo Bellini's cross: an analysis

As we know, each cross in Conclave has a unique design and meaning that reflects the character they're designed for.

The main symbol on Bellini's cross is the pelican. According to many ancient legends (pre dating Christianity) the pelican was believed to pierce its own breast with its beak to feed its offspring with its blood, so early Christians adopted it as a symbol of Jesus Christ sacrificing himself for mankind.

The most immediate explanation is that the pelican represents Bellini: he's the righteous cardinal who doesn't want the papacy, who sees it as a burden that will most likely destroy him, but who, at the same time, feels like he has to become Pope in order to prevent Tedesco from winning. In other words, he feels like he has to sacrifice himself in order to save the Church.

However, the quote engraved on the back of the cross reveals something more, something deeper. The quote comes from a hymn written by Thomas Aquinas in 1264, titled “Adoro te devote”.

Pie pellicane, Iesu Domine, / me immundum munda tuo sanguine.

Good pelican, Lord Jesus, / clean me, the unclean, with your blood.

It's a prayer TO the good pelican from the point of view of a sinner who feels unclean, impure.

And that's how Bellini constantly sees himself: as unworthy, as dirty. His whole character is built around this sense of shame, self loathing and self-doubt, which he must shoulder alone and which is at the centre of his (torturous?) relationship with God.

The quote is hidden on the back of the cross, it's private, it's for Bellini's eyes only, his shame is between himself and the Lord, the only one who can save him, who can clean him.

And of course you can read this however you like but it's definitely one more thing to be added to the list of gay undertones in Bellini's character.

One last thing (and this is probably my biggest reach but indulge me): I noticed that in the scene where Bellini finally admits his shame to Lawrence his cross is facing backwards.

This movie is so meticulous with its details and symbolism that I'm almost 100% sure that it was made (or left like that) on purpose.

In the scene Lawrence (and the audience with him) is finally given access to Bellini's inner turmoil. Bellini is baring those parts of himself he's so ashamed of to the person he cares about the most, so it's only fitting that his words and actions are accompanied by this subtle, yet powerful symbolism.

Community and Family Through Food

The usage of food in the narrative of Wind Breaker (Spoilers up to the Noroshi War Arc in the manga)

* Content Warning: Mentions of Attempted Sui

Perhaps it is partially because my other biggest fixation right now is One Piece, but something that has always stood out to me in this series is its importance of eating, but even more-so: The ability to eat in good company. Wind Breaker seems to follow this pattern that is also present in One Piece that after every arc, the characters have to have a meal together. A festival, a meal offered by the owner of a restaurant in town, Kotoha’s diner, take-out on a rooftop; Wherever it may be, there is a meal being shared. Nii Satoru doesn’t hide why this is the case, and even has one of the most important characters to the manga, Umemiya, explicitly say why he insists on everyone eating together as often as possible.

Now, of course, Umemiya being who he is, this comes across as both a little ridiculous and perhaps even a bit childish/selfish to the other characters in the scene (and possibly even the reader) who are a little less familiar with Umemiya. Yet, being able to hang out and eat good food is the reason he decided to aim to become the leader of Bofurin, it’s the reason he gives for how he can be so happy while leading, and he sticks by it. He continues to put emphasis on everyone eating together at the end of each arc.

A detail I love about the chapter when he first gets food for everyone at the end of the Shishitoren tournament arc? It is called ‘Umemiya-Style’. Initially, one could see this as being because that’s just how Umemiya Hajime rolls, or, a play off of ‘fighting style’ but for Umemiya he fights against Choji with his words. Using fights as a ‘dialogue’ to get to know the other person better, as he puts it. However, we get the fuller meaning later in the story with the chapters covering Umemiya’s backstory.

We learn at the end of Hajime Umemiya’s backstory that eating meals as a family was a value passed to him from his parents. Your food (and life) is better when you are surrounded by the people you care about. In this story, a character’s ability to enjoy food is directly linked to their quality of life in the narrative. (The fact that this immediately follows an arc that centered around adversaries who were literally living in poverty and starving? Who united together so that they could all continue to have *something* to eat, even if it meant sacrificing their individual hopes and dreams? MWAH, chef’s kiss.)

Umemiya, however, lost his ability to taste or enjoy food when his parents died and he was brought to the orphanage, Furinen.

Umemiya didn’t eat alongside the others in the orphanage. He couldn’t taste or enjoy any food given to him. At the same time as he is rejecting eating, he is of the firm belief at this point that he should stay away from all people because he believed he got his parents killed. He believes that he is a murderer and doesn’t deserve to sit at a table with others- laughing and talking about their day, eating omurice as his family had once done together. During this same meal that he is rejecting, we have Yuki Shitara and the other kids at the orphanage trying to connect with him. They want to know about him: if he’s feeling okay, what his favorite foods are. During this meal they are trying to connect with him as a family, and he pushes himself away from that connection.

It isn’t until just as Hajime Umemiya attempts to take his own life that he gets a flash of the sight of his parents just before they were killed that he remembers that in their last moments they were smiling at him. They weren’t looking at him with fear, they were looking at him with love and relief. Relief that Hajime was going to live. I think it is also important to note that the Furin high schooler who is with Hajime when he attempts to commit suicide says these lines too.

I'm not entirely sure, but I think this could be the first time Umemiya comes across someone from Furin. At the very least, Umemiya does refer to this meeting as a part of fate. And we see this member of Furin mention being hungry, wanting to find something to eat. When he’s taking Umemiya back to the orphanage and comes across Yuki, he mentions how he and his buddies at Furin can’t sit still while outsiders to the town are coming in and doing whatever they want, making a mess of the rest of the town. Their hearts are not full, and they are not happy with the way things are. This shows, even before Umemiya adopts his dream, that there are already people who would probably be receptive to the changes he wants to see in town.

But in the meantime, when Umemiya gets back to the orphanage, we see the words of the others there finally resonate with him. Why? For two reasons- he finally believes he deserves to keep on living, and because they share that they understand him. That he doesn’t have to be an outsider with them, because they are all the same. They know the loneliness he feels, they know that it is hard for him to laugh and enjoy meals and that being able to do so again will take time. But still, whenever he is ready- They could be his family, and he could be their older brother. 

So Umemiya finally decides to step into that role of an older brother. He wants others to be able to rely on him and to do what he can to protect those around him. By the time he’s 14, he’s decided that this doesn’t just extend to the members of the orphanage. He wants his hometown, and all its residents, to be able to feel that same happiness and have the ability to all share in meals as a united family together. Furin is a high school of outcasts, the town of Makochi are constantly beaten down by both infighting and others coming in and making a mess of their homes and businesses. The police and professions that involve building community (teachers) have abandoned the town, deciding that the place is beyond hope. So Umemiya decides he is going to do whatever he can for the people of the town. To bring them into his family. Everyone there, regardless of labels or bitter feelings, deserves to eat and be surrounded by loved ones. At the age of 14 he is already leading by example of what he wishes to see in the future from Furin: patrolling the town, doing little things for the townspeople, showing them compassion and care. And what do we see in this first scene of him helping out the townspeople? He is offered food.

So now, in the present, Makochi is a family. But even more than that, they extend love and care to all outcasts. To all the lonely people they come across. This is why Umemiya insists on eating takeout with Choji and Togame. This is why he insists on Nagato and class 1-1 to eat a meal with him after the frustration and blows to self esteem experienced by those involved in the battle with Keel. This is why one of the first things that happens to Sakura upon coming to Makochi is he is asked if he is hungry, and he is fed. Because everyone, regardless of bitter feelings, regardless of how others may see them or how they see themselves, deserves to be loved and to eat good food. If fighting is a dialogue to get to know another person, sharing a meal is a solidification of that connection made. To make sure that person knows they are loved and cared for no matter what.

I’m ready. I’m ready for my ZoLu jealousy rant. Part 1 of 2.

[BTW, this rant is also a behind-the-scenes look at the madness that came over me when I wrote the unsubtly titled fic, “Four Times Zoro Did Not Get Jealous (and the One Time Sanji Confronted Him About It).” Prior reading of the fic is not necessary for enjoyment of my insanity analysis.]

At its core, I believe jealousy arises from 1. a special regard and 2. insecurity. You don’t get jealous over someone you don’t care about. And if you’re confident in the other person’s feelings for you, there’s not much to be jealous about.

With our resident swordsman, he definitely holds Luffy in high regard, meaning there would be reason to feel jealous over Luffy. The question then becomes, has Zoro ever been given a reason to feel insecure about his place in Luffy’s life?

My stance on this is a solid NO.

I believe Zoro knows his worth, partly because he has ALWAYS worked hard to earn his place beside Luffy. He trains constantly and goes above and beyond to do everything he can to stay by Luffy’s side and be Luffy’s “wing.” And Luffy has shown time and time again that he trusts Zoro implicitly in pretty much everything except for directions. Zoro is Luffy’s voice of reason, moral support, enabler, and rabid attack dog rolled into one muscular package. Luffy appreciates the crap out of Zoro, and he has never hesitated to show it. He calls for Zoro first, is always delighted to see him, and gives Zoro the Sabo face-glomp treatment (TM) after just two weeks apart. Yes, all Straw Hats are created equal, but I’ll fight every One Piece fan to defend my view that in the eyes of canon Luffy, Zoro may just be a tad more special.

My point is, Luffy has never given Zoro a reason to be jealous, and Zoro is secure enough in his position within Luffy’s life that he doesn’t feel threatened by anyone else. He’s been petty, sure, like his insistence that he is worth twice as many men as Sanji, but I do think that is just Zoro’s competitiveness. Because why on earth would Zoro be jealous over Luffy? Who can even come between them??!

Don’t get me wrong, I like to indulge in a jealous Zoro fic any time. In fact, if you know any, send a link my way pls! At my core, however, I don’t think Zoro is the jealous type. Not over Luffy at least. Shippers of other Zoro pairings? You do you.

However! There’s always a caveat. I do believe Zoro gets possessive, but in the way that all Straw Hats get possessive over Luffy. Because Luffy is theirs. And when Luffy nearly kills himself to save a whole kingdom, I think they get a little protective over their captain, and they’d want to keep him to themselves for a while. Ultimately, they know they can’t. Luffy is meant for the world to love, and all the Straw Hats know this. Zoro knows this more than anyone, having been THE FIRST.

So at the end of an adventure, when the fight is over and adrenaline leaves him, I think Zoro frets and anguishes so much that he wants to lock up his captain in a room where nobody else can take another piece of him, because Luffy has given enough, dammit. But Zoro doesn’t do that, because Luffy would not want him to.

In summary, the conclusion of my book report is that no, Zoro doesn’t get jealous.

(But what about Luffy?! That’s coming in Part 2. I need to first write another 1000 words of my next fic.)

honestly ra's a ghul would stab someone if they called dick grayson "nice funny but he's like a himbo" bc he is not gonna accept being defeated by someone others call a himbo. like if someone defeated me yall better acknowledge that it takes SKILL to defeat me stfu i will not take this disrespect–

I get emotional thinking about how his family would react to Bruce's change if he ever started working on himself, on improving his behavior. But the one I think about the most is Dick Grayson.

Alfred is the one who was there from the very beginning, but Dick Grayson is who arrived and made the biggest impact. He's the first kid who Bruce took in, the one who approached this man and became his first partner to fight by his side out in the night.

Dick was able to pull Bruce out of the darkness that consumed him. No matter how many times Bruce went back, Dick's presence was a constant reminder that there's not only shadows. That if Bruce pushes back, fights so he won't be dragged down, he will find light.

However, it was a cycle. Dick would get him out, but Bruce would go back, sooner or later. And repeat. And Dick realized this and knew he couldn't let that be his whole life. But despite the distance, it still affects Dick knowing he can't find a definite solution for Bruce.

So, seeing Bruce actually change, get better and seeing that last...it would lift the heaviest weight on Dick's shoulders, who's felt responsible for Bruce's emotions since the day he became Robin.

It's been implied to him that Bruce needs him, that he's who keeps him from falling. And Dick, despite not always feeling like he is enough, carries with that responsibility because, deep down, he also feels like he owes it to Bruce, who Dick has needed (still needs) present in his life, too.

Bruce getting better would be like being able to breath again, but it would be so suffocating too.

Dick would happy for Bruce, for the man who raised him. He'd be relieved that the hurt will stop, for both his father and those he's continuously pushed away. But then he'll be anxious, will it really last? How long until he can be sure? And he'll be scared, does he still need him, now? Does a Batman who's gotten help still need Dick Grayson Robin? Nightwing? And lurking in the back of his mind, there'd be anger. Why now? Why after all those years? Why not before? Was Dick not enough reason to change? Was he never worth this? And shame will drown those thoughts. It's selfish, to think that way. He should be happy. He wants to be happy. He is happy. But he is also mad. He's sad and he mourns the child who never saw this side of Bruce. And most of all, he loves. He loves Bruce too much to hate him for it. No matter how angry, no matter how hurt, he loves his father and he's grateful for him, for his efforts. And all he can do is smile and congratulate him because that's everything he feels he has the right to say.

And when all is said and done, Bruce will come to him and Dick will have to face the worst part of this change;

Apologies.

If Bruce has truly changed, then he would know there's more things than he can count with his fingers that he has to apologize to his son for. And out of everything else, this is what Dick Grayson fears the most.

Dick can take it, he can hear Bruce out, but he can't unpack all the pain he's been accumulating in front of his dad. He can't bring himself to say 'I forgive you' out loud despite having convinced himself long ago that it's alright.

Bruce doesn't didn't do apologies. Things happened and then went back to normal and Dick was okay with that. He forgave him, he did. So, Bruce doesn't need to apologize, he doesn't have to make him say it out loud. He can't tell him, but he's forgiven him long ago. Even if it hurt, even if he was still resentful sometimes, even if he wanted to yell at him for it, Dick could push it all down and forgive him. Bruce shouldn't apologize, shouldn't bring it up again because Dick isn't strong enough to keep it all bottled up if Bruce starts acknowledging it, if he confirms that Dick wasn't crazy for feeling wronged and hurt.

He can take it, but he really can't.

Just thinking about it drives me crazy because, out of everyone, Dick Grayson might be the kid who's been waiting for this the longest, and who thought he'd already given up the idea of his father finding a lasting happiness that would bring permanent change in him. And it would be just so overwhelming.

also i think about Crime Alley as both the physical source for bruce’s loss and also a sign of gotham’s renewal — leslie’s clinic as one example, or bruce’s dedication to social reform in park row. how after twenty years he is still tethered to the cinema, the alley, the gutters. he knows each brick by touch alone, in the dark he can find his way unaided. like the manor it is the foundation holding him upright. does he find comfort there for himself, knowing that he can always return?

but the graysons died in a field, in the ring. the ring is not stationary, it moves as haleys does. its sawdust floor is discarded after the show, its bleachers disassembled, the big top packed away for the next town, the next country, the next show. the graysons died at haleys, but it isn’t anywhere their son can return to. he can stand in the field, knee deep in grass, but the crowd will not be there, nor the tent nor the jugglers. he could travel the world and never truly find the place his parents died. the only way out is through.