Pretending You Didn't Know Their Birthday Was Today
( ✧ ) ────── boyfriend stories . fluff/drama - no prns .
- [𝐜𝐡.] deuce . ruggie . jade . floyd . epel
- [𝐩:𝐬] Mild emotional distress . Romantic themes . Light teasing/pranks .
Note: This is such a mean prank to do on them guys (ノД`) But yk me, I LOVEEE writing drama (; ω ; ).
Deuce Spade
At first, Deuce tried not to take it personally.
You had been acting totally normal all day—sweet, attentive, just like always—but… that was the thing. Just normal. Not a single “Happy Birthday” from you. Not a cupcake, not a “Hey, wanna do something later?” Nothing. And at breakfast, when Ace loudly tossed Deuce a small box and yelled “Happy birthday, dumbass!”, you just… smiled politely and went back to your juice.
He told himself you probably had something planned. That maybe you were just being subtle. But as the hours passed, his confidence started to crumble.
By mid-afternoon, he couldn’t even focus in class. Every time he looked your way, his stomach did this weird, anxious twist. Maybe you were mad at him? Maybe he’d forgotten something important? No… your smile didn’t look fake. You laughed at his jokes. You walked to class with him like usual. But still—nothing.
By the time lunch rolled around, he couldn’t take it anymore.
You were sitting together under a shady tree in the courtyard, sharing fries from a bag. He stared down at his lap, fingers fidgeting, his voice awkward and small.
“H-Hey… um… did you… maybe forget what today is?”
You blinked at him, biting into a fry. “Hmm? Oh… is something happening today?”
The color drained from his face.
“…O-Oh. No. Never mind. I just thought—no, forget it,” he said, trying to hide the flash of hurt in his eyes. His posture stiffened, clearly trying to pretend like he didn’t care, but it was so obvious he did.
And that’s when you pulled out the surprise.
From your bag, you retrieved a small, neatly wrapped box and set it in his lap. “You’re so easy to mess with, Deuce. Happy Birthday, baby.”
He stared at it. Then at you. Then back at it.
“…You knew?!”
You giggled as he turned bright red, torn between relief, embarrassment, and this ridiculously bashful happiness. “Of course I knew. You really thought I’d forget my favorite person’s birthday?”
He rubbed the back of his neck, still stunned. “I… I thought I messed something up. Man, you’re evil for that,” he said with a pout, even though he looked like he wanted to hug you and never let go.
Later that night, you surprised him again with a little party in Ramshackle with his closest friends and a handmade cake. And as he sat beside you, eating your lopsided but delicious creation, he leaned close and whispered in your ear:
“You scared the hell outta me today. But… that just makes this even better. Thanks, babe.”
Ruggie Bucchi
Ruggie had been dropping hints for weeks.
Not because he expected much—he never really did on his birthday—but because the idea of you remembering something special about him… it made his chest feel warm.
So when his birthday finally came around, and you—the one person he thought would for sure say something—didn’t, he didn’t know how to take it.
The sun had barely risen when he bounced into your dorm with a grin. “Mornin’, babe! Sleep well?”
You nodded, still wrapped in a blanket burrito. “Mmhm. Wanna grab breakfast in the cafeteria?”
“…That’s it?” he asked, his brow furrowing.
You looked at him, head tilted. “What?”
“Nothin’, nothin’,” he said with a wave of his hand, brushing it off with a chuckle. “Just thought maybe you had somethin’ special planned for today. Like… a surprise churro. Y’know. For, uh… no reason at all.”
You blinked innocently. “Why would I do that?”
“…No reason,” he muttered, a little too fast.
As the day went on, he kept waiting for something. A “Happy Birthday!” A present. A note in his bag. Anything. But there was nothing.
At some point, he began to seriously wonder if you just… didn’t care.
That stung more than he wanted to admit.
By evening, he sulked into his dorm, only to find you waiting inside with a bright grin, his favorite snacks on the bed, and a banner that read Happy Birthday, Hyena Boy!
He froze in the doorway. “Wh-What the—?! You knew?!”
You laughed, pulling him into a hug. “Of course I did, silly. You’ve been hinting at it all month. I just wanted to mess with you a little.”
“Jeez, and here I thought I was bein’ subtle…” He rubbed his temples, a smile cracking through his flustered expression. “You little sneak. I almost cried in the middle of laundry duty.”
“Aww, don’t worry. You can cry now—in happiness!”
“Pfft, yeah right,” he scoffed, turning away dramatically… only to spin around and tackle-hug you onto the bed. “Okay, maybe just a little happy cry. Maybe. Don’t look too closely.”
That night, as you both lounged on the bed sharing snacks and laughter, he kissed your cheek and mumbled, “No one’s ever done something like this for me before… Thank you, babe. Seriously.”
And just like that, all the teasing in the world couldn’t hide how much he really appreciated it.
Jade Leech
Jade is not the type to let his emotions slip so easily.
So when the morning of his birthday came and you greeted him with your usual serene smile and a sweet "Good morning, Jade~," he returned it effortlessly—mask flawless, voice calm. But the second you walked away without even a hint of birthday acknowledgment, he blinked once… and a curious smirk tugged at the corner of his lips.
How… intriguing.
He didn’t say anything. Not then. Not at lunch, either, when you asked if he wanted to go herb-hunting later like it was any other day. Not even when you kissed his cheek in the hallway and said “See you after class!”
But every time you looked away, he was watching you. Observing you in the same way a predator watches prey, fascinated and a little amused. The wheels in his mind were turning.
You had to know, didn’t you?
…Or did you forget?
He couldn’t quite tell. You weren’t nervous. You weren’t acting strange. No subtle glances, no hidden smiles. Your performance was suspiciously perfect—which only made this more entertaining for him.
By the time evening fell, Jade accompanied you into the Mostro Lounge for "a quick drink," following along with that same soft smile on his face. You chatted like always, sat in your usual booth, sipping tea. Nothing seemed different.
Until the lights dimmed.
And Azul’s voice came over the mic—“Happy Birthday to Jade Leech”—and a cake was brought out, decorated with ocean-themed shells and pearls, your handwriting proudly scrawled across the fondant.
And that’s when Jade laughed.
Not a quiet chuckle. A genuine laugh, melodic and laced with amusement. He turned to you with sharp but delighted eyes.
“Oh my. So you did remember.”
You gave him an innocent blink. “What? Of course I remembered. I was just having fun watching you squirm a little.”
He placed a hand over his chest, mock-wounded. “Me? Squirm? Dearest, I was merely observing your fascinating acting skills. Though I must admit… I nearly believed you forgot.”
You smirked. “Then the plan worked.”
Jade leaned in closer, his voice a silky whisper near your ear. “You’re quite the mischievous little eel, aren’t you? I might have to return the favor someday…”
And though he wore that ever-pleasant smile the rest of the night, you could tell—underneath it, Jade was thrilled. Not just because you remembered, but because you played his game so well.
Floyd Leech
Floyd was hyped for his birthday.
He didn’t say it out loud, but everyone could tell. He was unusually bouncy that morning—tossing students over his shoulder with more enthusiasm than usual, humming a weird little tune while walking to class. Even Azul was keeping a safe distance.
So when he spotted you coming down the hallway, his eyes lit up like a kid in a candy store.
“Shrimpyyyy~!!” he beamed, immediately throwing his long arms around you in a tight squeeze. “Guess what day it isss?”
You blinked, looking puzzled. “Umm… Tuesday?”
He froze.
You tilted your head. “Why? Is something happening today?”
His arms slowly dropped away. His smile faltered. “…You serious?”
You gave him your most convincing innocent look. “Did I miss something?”
“…You serious?!”
Now he looked genuinely offended—like someone had just told him there were no snacks left in the vending machine. “You forgot my birthday? My own girlfriend?! What kinda low-tide tragedy is this?!”
He slumped dramatically over your shoulder like a dying fish. “Shrimpy doesn’t love me anymoreee~ I’m gonna cry…”
“Floyd—”
“No, no, don’t talk to me! I’m gonna go sulk and punch a wall or something…”
And off he went, dramatically dragging his feet down the hall.
…Only for you to text him twenty minutes later with “Emergency in the Lounge. Come quick.”
He came stomping in like a storm cloud, pout still fresh on his face—until the moment he saw the room.
Balloons. Streamers. A giant cake shaped like a sea turtle. And you, standing in the center with a party horn in your mouth, grinning.
“Happy birthday, big guy~”
His mouth opened. Then closed.
“…You LIAR!” he laughed, bolting forward and sweeping you off the ground in a bone-crushing hug. “You tricked me, shrimpy! That was so mean!”
“You deserved it,” you giggled, arms wrapped around his neck. “I had to keep you on your toes somehow.”
Floyd nuzzled into your hair, tail practically wagging. “I was this close to crying real tears! You’re lucky you’re cute.”
He spent the rest of the night showing off to everyone, dragging you around and introducing you like you were the best gift of all. And before bed, he curled up beside you with a satisfied little sigh.
“You’re lucky I love ya, shrimpy. Next year, I’m pranking you. Hardcore.”
Epel Felmier
Epel didn’t like to make a big fuss over his birthday.
He wasn’t the type to announce it to the world, parade around the dorm, or demand gifts. Still… he was kind of hoping you’d remember. Just a simple “Happy birthday” from you would’ve meant everything. He didn’t want something fancy—just… you.
So when the day arrived and you didn’t say anything, he tried to play it cool.
Tried.
“‘Mornin’, sugar~!” he greeted with a bright grin, brushing his hair behind his ear the way you liked.
“Mornin’, Epel!” you chirped back casually, linking your arm with his as you both walked down the hall.
He waited. One second. Two.
Nothing.
“…Anything special goin’ on today?” he asked, trying to act nonchalant.
You blinked. “Uhh, I don’t think so. It’s Tuesday. Why?”
He felt his heart sink a little.
“…No reason,” he mumbled, gaze flicking away. “Just… felt like today was s’posed to be important or somethin’.”
You tilted your head. “Did I forget a test?”
Epel forced a smile. “Nah, nah… forget it.”
But he didn’t forget it.
All day, he kept sneaking glances at you, silently hoping you were just pulling his leg. Maybe you'd jump out with a cake or tackle-hug him and yell, “Surprise!” But each hour that passed without so much as a cupcake made that hope dim a little more.
He tried to laugh it off with his friends. “Guess I ain’t worth rememberin’, huh?” he joked, but his smile didn’t quite reach his eyes.
By the time the sun dipped behind the walls of NRC, he had retreated to his room, lying face-down on his bed, arms folded beneath his head.
“…It’s fine,” he muttered to himself. “Ain’t a big deal. Birthdays’re for kids anyway. I ain’t soft.”
But just as he was wallowing in his disappointment, there was a knock at his door.
“…Epel?” your voice called softly from the other side. “Can you come with me for a sec?”
He rolled over, groaning a little. “Not really in the mood, darlin’.”
“Please?”
He sighed. “Fine…”
You led him outside Ramshackle—under the stars—into the courtyard where the fountain glowed soft gold. And that’s when he saw it.
Fairy lights strung up between trees. A little picnic blanket with two slices of apple pie and warm cider. A small, wrapped box sitting atop a folded note with his name written in your handwriting.
“…You didn’t forget,” he whispered.
You turned to him with a gentle smile, a flicker of mischief in your eyes. “Course not. I just wanted to see your pouty face. You’re so cute when you sulk.”
He gawked at you, cheeks burning red. “Y-you—! Ugh, I oughta put you over my shoulder and shake the mischief outta you!”
You laughed and took his hands, pulling him toward the little setup. “Happy birthday, Epel. I love you.”
The tension melted from his shoulders all at once. He dropped down beside you, arms wrapping tight around your waist as he buried his face into your shoulder.
“Dang it… You really got me,” he muttered, voice muffled. “Thought you forgot. Thought I didn’t matter…”
“You matter to me every single day,” you whispered back. “Today’s just an excuse to prove it.”
And under the starlight, as you fed him a bite of pie and leaned on his shoulder, Epel couldn’t stop grinning. He might not be the kind to shout it from the rooftops, but tonight—he felt special. Loved. Yours.
“…Next year, I’m gettin’ ya back for this, y’know,” he said with a playful smirk. “Hard.”
only one this time cuz he's a long boy lol
(credit to @/alchemivich for the sprite assets!)
In which Riddle, Leona, Azul, and Sebek give GN!Reader a plushie before they leave that represents themselves.
Established relationship. Fluff. Requested by @blue-rae18.
Riddle Rosehearts
Leona Kingscholar
Azul Ashengrotto
Sebek Zigvolt
Step 1: Befriend the Demon King.
Step 2: Fall in love.
Step 3: Quit your hero job.
The first thing you learned upon being chosen as the hero was that the gods were, in fact, morons.
This revelation came to you as you stood in their grand celestial court, bathed in holy light, staring at the pantheon of divine beings who had just bestowed upon you a sword that actively whispered threats into your ear.
"Go forth, O Chosen One," boomed the god of war, his six eyes burning with sacred fire. "You must slay the Demon King who lurks in his cursed lair atop the Black Hills!"
You shifted your weight and cleared your throat. "Okay, so... question. Just a tiny one. What, exactly, has the Demon King done?"
The gods exchanged glances.
"He is evil," the goddess of fate offered.
"Uh-huh. Examples?"
"He... exists," the god of light said, waving a golden hand vaguely.
There was an awkward silence. You rubbed your temples. "Right. But, like, has he pillaged villages? Enslaved kingdoms? Kicked a puppy?"
"He has refused to die despite our many attempts to kill him," the god of judgment said gravely.
You squinted. "So you're mad that he’s alive."
"YES," they all said in unison.
Fantastic. You had been chosen to carry out a divine grudge match.
Still, you weren’t in any position to argue. The gods had given you a bunch of ridiculously overpowered artifacts, including a holy sword, an indestructible shield, and a cloak that supposedly made you invisible but mostly just made you look like a very blurry ghost. They also kind of expected you to die like all the previous heroes, but that was a problem for later.
So here you were, standing at the edge of the Black Hills, staring up at the Demon King’s lair—a suspiciously well-maintained castle that looked less like a fortress of darkness and more like the summer home of someone who enjoyed gardening.
This whole thing reeked of bureaucracy.
With a deep sigh, you tightened your grip on your murderously sentient sword and marched forward, fully prepared to commit deicide if this entire mission turned out to be as dumb as you suspected.
You had braced yourself for a dark, ominous fortress filled with twisted creatures, rivers of lava, and at least one chandelier made of bones. Instead, you walked into what could only be described as a cozy study.
The room was warm, lit by a fireplace that crackled gently in the corner. Tall bookshelves lined the walls, filled with neatly arranged tomes, some of which looked suspiciously like romance novels. A tea set rested on the table, next to an open book. And sitting in an armchair, casually flipping through the pages, was a man.
A very tall, very elegant man with sharp green eyes and black horns curling from his head.
He blinked at you, clearly just as surprised as you were. "Oh," he said. "Hello."
You stared at him. "Uh. Hi?"
There was a long pause. He looked at your very dramatic hero attire, then at the glimmering, divinely blessed sword in your hand, then back at you. "I assume you’re here for a reason?"
You shifted uncomfortably. "Yeah, so, the gods sent me to kill the Demon King, but like… lowkey? I don’t know what he looks like."
The man nodded, as if this was a completely reasonable statement. "I see." He gestured to the chair across from him. "Would you like some tea?"
You squinted at him. "I feel like you’re not taking this whole ‘assassination attempt’ thing very seriously."
"Should I?" he asked, pouring tea into a cup with unnerving grace. "You don't seem particularly invested in it yourself."
You couldn't exactly argue with that, so you sat down, placing your god-blessed weapon awkwardly on your lap. The man slid a cup toward you. The tea smelled… nice. Suspiciously nice. You sniffed it. "This isn’t, like, drugged or cursed, is it?"
He looked amused. "Only if you consider chamomile a powerful sedative."
You took a cautious sip. It was delicious.
"So," he said, leaning his chin on his hand. "Tell me about the outside world. It’s been a while since I last left these hills."
You shrugged. "Nothing much. The gods are idiots, as usual."
His lips curled in interest. "Oh?"
You leaned forward conspiratorially. "Okay, so get this. When they summoned me, they gave me this holy sword, right?" You tapped the weapon resting on your lap. "Only problem? It won’t shut up. The gods literally forgot to turn off its voice function, so now it just screams battle cries at all hours of the day. I had to wrap it in three layers of cloth just to get some sleep."
He let out a chuckle, eyes gleaming. "That is… incredible."
"Right? And that’s not even the worst part. The god of wisdom—actual title, by the way—accidentally set fire to their own temple last year because they miscalculated a lightning spell. They blamed it on ‘mystical forces’ but everyone knows they just got their math wrong."
The man—who, now that you were really looking at him, was ridiculously attractive in a dark-and-mysterious way—laughed. It was a rich, deep sound, the kind of laugh that made you feel like you’d just told the best joke in the world.
You grinned, feeling oddly comfortable. "Oh, and don’t even get me started on the god of fate. She got into a brawl with the god of harvest because she made a prophecy that all the wheat fields would burn down, and then the god of harvest was like, ‘You know that’s literally my job, right?’ and cursed her with hay fever. Now she sneezes every time she tries to predict the future."
Your new tea-drinking companion actually had to cover his mouth to stifle his laughter.
You took another sip of tea, feeling very proud of yourself. "Anyway," you said, stretching your arms. "By the way, have you seen the Demon King? Because, like, technically, I’m still supposed to be doing that job."
The man calmly pointed to himself.
You stared at him.
He stared back.
You blinked. "I'm sorry. What."
"Malleus Draconia," he said, setting his teacup down with the kind of elegance that made you feel like an unwashed peasant. "And you are?"
You were still reeling from the realization that you had spent the last half hour drinking tea with the exact person you were supposed to kill, so it took you a second to answer. You introduce yourself. "Hero chosen by the gods. Here to, you know…" You made a vague stabbing motion.
Malleus nodded, completely unfazed. "Ah. Yes. That would explain the weaponry." He glanced at your holy sword, which had mercifully remained silent for the past few minutes. "Though, I must say, you don’t seem particularly enthusiastic about your mission."
You sighed and set your cup down. "Yeah, well. I don’t really get why the gods have it out for you. I mean, do you actually do evil stuff? Are you stealing souls? Raising the dead? Kicking puppies?"
Malleus tilted his head, considering. "No, no, and—well, I suppose there was one incident with a puppy, but in my defense, I was trying to return it to its owner, and it misunderstood my intentions."
"That’s a really vague way to say 'I accidentally terrified it.'"
He sipped his tea, saying nothing.
You squinted at him. "So you’re telling me the gods declared a holy crusade against you for… what? Vibes?"
Malleus shrugged. "I assume so. They don’t seem to like my existence very much."
"Wow. Must be nice not giving a shit."
"It is quite freeing," he agreed. "Would you like a tour?"
You blinked. "A tour? Of your evil lair?"
"My home," he corrected, as if you were the unreasonable one. "I assume you have never seen it before."
"You assume correctly." You rubbed your chin. "Eh. What the hell. Show me around, mighty Demon King."
And so, instead of assassinating him, you spent the next hour wandering through the halls of his "evil lair" (read: very fancy castle), learning about his book collection, admiring the admittedly cool-looking stained-glass windows, and getting distracted by a particularly fluffy cat lounging on one of the rugs.
Somewhere along the way, you had fallen into easy conversation, sharing more absurd stories about the gods’ incompetence while Malleus listened with increasing amusement. You barely even noticed how natural it felt, how quickly you forgot the whole "mortal enemies" thing.
It wasn’t until you were about to leave that you remembered why you had come in the first place.
"Ah, right," you said, gripping the hilt of your holy sword. "The whole… uh, slaying thing."
Malleus lifted an eyebrow.
You exhaled and held the sword out to him. "Here. Take this."
He looked at you, then at the sword, then back at you. "You are giving me your divine weapon?"
"Look, man, I don’t know if you can tell, but I am very bad at this job."
Malleus took the sword, examining it with mild curiosity. The moment his fingers curled around the hilt, the weapon, which had remained blissfully quiet all day, suddenly came to life.
"FOUL BEAST! UNHAND ME AT ONCE—"
Malleus flicked his wrist, and the sword immediately went silent.
You gaped at him. "You can do that?!"
He hummed. "It appears so."
You put your hands on your hips. "You know what? Yeah. You can keep it. I don’t want it anymore."
Malleus smiled. "How generous of you."
You waved him off and turned toward the exit. "Anyway, this has been fun and all, but I should probably get going before the gods smite me for treason. I’ll, uh… I’ll get the job done next time."
Malleus watched you with that same unreadable expression, something like quiet amusement playing at the edges of his lips. "Of course. Next time."
You nodded, totally believing yourself, and left.
The gods were getting suspicious.
You could tell by the way they kept summoning you more frequently, their celestial faces lined with divine skepticism, their glowing, omnipotent eyes narrowing just a little more each time you gave your mission report.
So you did what any responsible, chosen-by-the-heavens hero would do: you doubled down on the lies.
“I’m gathering intel on the enemy.”
A few gods murmured in approval, nodding at your strategic foresight.
(The truth? You had spent the last four days sprawled across an absolutely sinful couch in Malleus’s absurdly cozy castle, debating whether a dragon could, theoretically, play the lute. Malleus had very strong opinions about claw dexterity and string tension. You were just trying to figure out how to smuggle the couch home.)
“I need to study his weaknesses.”
More nods. One god even stroked their beard, looking impressed.
(The reality? You were currently studying how many cookies you could consume before he started looking mildly concerned for your well-being. The number was high. Concerningly high. You were probably committing a sin against your own digestive system, but that was Future You’s problem.)
“He’s probably planning something evil, so I need to keep an eye on him.”
Now the gods were practically glowing with approval. One clapped you on the back, nearly knocking you off your feet.
(Meanwhile, in the demon king’s lair, Malleus was sitting in his massive library, sipping tea like a distinguished nobleman who had never even considered jaywalking, much less world domination. At one point, he sighed dramatically and looked out the window, the very picture of a wistful poet pondering the meaning of life. You had watched him do this for ten whole minutes, waiting for a sign of villainy. Nothing. The man was the least demonic demon king you had ever seen.)
The gods, thoroughly convinced that you were hard at work, dismissed you with a vague warning to “stay vigilant” and “not fall for any demonic tricks.”
You barely made it back to the castle before collapsing onto your new favorite couch with a groan. “They think I’m doing such a good job,” you mumbled, stuffing another cookie into your mouth. “I could probably ask for a raise.”
Malleus looked up from his book, amusement dancing in his emerald eyes. “A raise? What exactly would they be paying you for?”
“For my noble heroism,” you said around a mouthful of cookie. “My unwavering dedication. My strategic mind. My—” You gestured vaguely. “—efforts.”
Malleus hummed, setting his book aside. “Ah, yes. Your valiant efforts. Lounging on my furniture. Eating my desserts. Entertaining me with tales of divine incompetence.”
You wagged a finger at him. “You say that like it isn’t an important job.”
He smirked. “Oh, I quite enjoy your company. But I do wonder how long you plan to keep up this charade.”
“As long as I can,” you said without hesitation, grabbing another cookie. “At this point, I think I deserve an award for Best Hero in the Field of Procrastination.”
Malleus chuckled, resting his chin on his hand as he watched you with what was definitely, absolutely, 100% not fondness. Probably. “Indeed.”
Getting Malleus out of his lair was easier than expected. Getting him to wear the disguise, however, was a battle of wills.
“It is absurd,” he said flatly, staring at the comically large hat in your hands.
“Absurdly effective,” you countered.
“It looks like it belongs to a—”
“Fashion icon?”
“A cursed scarecrow,” he finished, unimpressed.
“Okay, rude. But listen, if you walk into town looking like that—” you gestured vaguely at his horns, “—people will either think you're about to declare war or host a very dramatic poetry reading. The hat helps.”
Malleus gave you a long, contemplative look, then, to your eternal delight, sighed and took the hat. It sat atop his head with the solemn dignity of a royal crown, though the sheer size of it made him look like he was about to start selling potions out of a roadside wagon.
“Very well,” he declared. “Let us proceed.”
Thus began the grand adventure of sneaking the Demon King into town.
Turns out, no one even noticed.
Which, to be fair, was kind of expected. This was a town where a man once tried to pay his taxes in live chickens and where the local bard wore sunglasses at night “because it added to his mystique.” Some guy in a huge hat? Not even in the top ten weirdest things people had seen this week.
Still, you felt an odd sense of pride as you dragged Malleus through the bustling streets. The Demon King, who had spent untold centuries isolated in his ominous gothic estate, was now watching a juggler toss flaming batons while a street vendor tried to sell you “cursed amulets” that were clearly just painted rocks.
He was fascinated.
His first stop was the bakery, where he became personally and spiritually invested in the concept of croissants.
“These are quite remarkable,” he murmured, carefully inspecting the flaky layers. “It is as if the very essence of light and air has been woven into dough.”
“You’re making it sound way fancier than it is,” you snorted. “It’s just bread.”
“A divine bread,” he corrected.
“You’re literally a demon.”
“I can still appreciate divinity when I taste it.”
Next, you took him to the bookstore, where he spent an unreasonable amount of time debating which tomes to purchase. At one point, you caught him flipping through something called One Hundred and One Curses to Ensure Your Enemies Remember You Fondly, which felt both deeply specific and incredibly on-brand.
While he was distracted by a book of poetry so dramatic it might as well have been personally written for him, you slipped away for a moment. A nearby flower stall caught your eye, and on impulse, you picked up a delicate bloom, its color strikingly similar to Malleus’s eyes.
You returned just as he was still deep in thought over which book to buy. Without a second thought, you reached up and tucked the flower behind his ear.
Malleus froze.
His expression didn’t change immediately—he just stared at you, his usual unreadable gaze flickering with something… complicated. His fingers hesitantly brushed against the petals, and for a moment, he looked genuinely baffled, as if no one had ever done something like this before.
You grinned at him. “Looks good on you, Your Evilness.”
Malleus exhaled a short, amused huff. “I must admit, I do not often receive accessories from my sworn enemies.”
“Sounds like a you problem,” you said, already dragging him towards the next store. “Now come on, I still need to introduce you to the single greatest achievement of human civilization.”
He tilted his head, intrigue sparking in his expression. “Oh?”
“Fried food.”
For the first time in centuries, the Demon King of Darkness, Terror of the Gods, Eternal Wielder of Unholy Power… was genuinely excited.
You were not bringing Malleus more books because you liked him. Obviously. That would be ridiculous. You were simply executing a strategic maneuver—an information-gathering mission, if you will. The more books he had, the more he would talk, and the more he talked, the more you learned.
This was all very professional. A tactical decision. Absolutely nothing to do with the way his eyes lit up whenever you brought him something new or the fact that you may or may not have started associating his lair with peace instead of doom.
So, with arms full of books that were definitely not handpicked to match his interests (including one on celestial phenomena, which was coincidental and not an attempt to make him happy), you strolled into his lair like you owned the place.
And that was when you met him.
Lilia Vanrouge.
You knew the name. You’d heard it whispered in the temples, spoken with the kind of reverence usually reserved for plagues and natural disasters. The Scourge of the Battlefield. The War Demon. The Dark General Who Consumed Kingdoms Whole.
You had also heard it from Malleus, who described him as eccentric, mischievous, and one of the few people he respected.
And the moment you laid eyes on him, you realized once again that the gods were complete and utter morons.
Because standing before you was not a nightmarish harbinger of destruction. No, the man currently floating upside down in the air, cheerfully snacking on something, looked more like an impish uncle who would absolutely teach children how to commit tax fraud for fun.
He looked at you. You looked at him. He grinned. You immediately braced for impact.
“Well, well! So you’re the fabled Chosen Hero,” Lilia chirped, righting himself mid-air and landing gracefully before you. “How fascinating! I was wondering when you’d show up.”
“I—” you began.
“I must say, this is not what I expected!” he continued, completely ignoring you. “From what I’ve heard, heroes usually barge in with righteous fury, divine proclamations, and very little self-preservation! Yet here you are, standing in the Demon King’s domain, casually handing him books.”
You turned to Malleus, who looked completely unbothered, still examining the latest tome you had brought him. “You told him?”
Malleus, without looking up: “He asked.”
You turned back to Lilia. “And you’re not freaking out?”
Lilia tilted his head, amused. “Should I be?”
“I don’t know, I just assumed one of Malleus’s generals would take issue with me being, you know, the divinely ordained slayer of your king?”
Lilia snorted. “Oh, please. Do you have any idea how many so-called ‘heroes’ I’ve seen storm in here? You’re already my favorite.”
“…Thanks?”
“Of course! It’s just so refreshing to see one of you actually using your head for once.” He floated up again, upside down, resting his chin on his hands. “Though I must admit, I was expecting something a little more… impressive.”
You blinked. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Lilia smirked and gestured to the table where you and Malleus had been previously engaged in very serious discussions. Your stomach dropped. You had left out your papers.
Specifically, the ones where you had been doodling different armor designs and asking Malleus for his fashion advice.
Malleus, the traitor, casually picked one up. “I am partial to this one,” he said, holding up a particularly elaborate sketch. “The embroidery detailing is quite striking.”
Lilia laughed.
You buried your face in your hands as the War Demon, the Living Nightmare of the Battlefield, the Eternal Scourge of Kingdoms—wiped away tears of laughter over the fact that instead of slaying the Demon King, you had apparently made him your personal stylist.
It was, all things considered, not your proudest moment.
It had been months since you first stepped foot into Malleus’s lair, and, well… things had progressed.
Not in the way the gods wanted, obviously. If they had their way, Malleus’s severed head would be mounted on a sacred altar by now. Technically, you were still on your holy mission to vanquish the Demon King. Technically, you were gathering information. Technically, you had every intention of fulfilling your duty.
But, if one were to take a completely unbiased look at your current situation… it might appear that you were just hanging out.
A lot.
Like, a lot, a lot.
Malleus now made your drink exactly the way you liked it—sometimes before you even asked. You didn’t even have to tell him anymore. You’d wander into his lair after a long day of doing absolutely nothing related to demon slaying, and he’d already have your favorite drink ready, at the exact right temperature.
And you? You, the so-called “Divine Champion of Justice,” the god-appointed warrior of destiny? You had, against all logic and reason, started bringing him gifts. It wasn’t even a conscious decision at first. But every time a merchant came through town, you found yourself idly picking up little trinkets or books that looked like they’d interest him.
You told yourself it was just diplomacy. A strategic bribery effort. It had absolutely nothing to do with how much you enjoyed seeing his face light up whenever you presented him with something new.
You weren’t even sure when the shift had happened.
One day, you were the brave hero, standing before the terrifying Demon King with divine orders to smite him. And now? Now, you were practically living in his lair. Casually.
You’d gotten comfortable here, a fact that you refused to acknowledge out loud. Malleus’s lair was peaceful, quiet, and—to your horror—pleasant. The enormous gothic windows, the soft candlelight, the bookshelves stacked high with ancient tomes… It was all just so much nicer than the gods’ temples, which were always cold, sterile, and filled with divine bureaucrats who asked too many questions.
And worse—worse—when you weren’t here, you were usually thinking about what to do for Malleus next.
Should you bring him something from the next merchant caravan? Maybe take him to another festival? He liked those. Maybe introduce him to the weird little bakery in town that sold those oddly-shaped pastries you kept seeing. He might find them amusing.
You were planning surprises for him.
Like a friend.
No. Not just a friend.
A best friend.
You slammed your head onto the nearest table with a thud.
The gods could never find out about this.
You were having an existential crisis. A real one. The kind that made you stare at your reflection in a soup bowl and wonder if you had any meaningful purpose in life beyond being the divine equivalent of a glorified errand runner.
Lilia, of course, noticed. Because he was an agent of chaos and probably fed off emotional turmoil like some sort of tiny, ancient demon bat.
“You seem troubled,” he had said, watching as you slumped dramatically over Malleus’ very fancy dining table, exhaling the world’s most pitiful sigh. “Why don’t you and Malleus spar?”
Your head lifted slightly. “What?”
Lilia smirked, clearly pleased that he had successfully baited you out of your misery. “It’s been months, has it not? If the gods ask, you can tell them you’ve been honing your skills, preparing for the final battle.”
That… actually wasn’t a bad excuse. The gods had been getting nosy again, demanding updates. Maybe you could make this work.
Which was how you ended up here.
Standing in the grand, sprawling courtyard of Malleus’ lair, stretching out your limbs while he calmly removed his cloak, draping it over a bench like he was about to have a casual stroll instead of engaging in combat.
“You sure about this?” you asked, gripping the hilt of your sword.
Malleus tilted his head, looking amused. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
You smirked. “Just saying, if I win, I demand tribute.”
Malleus chuckled. “And if I win?”
“… Let’s cross that bridge when we get to it.”
Lilia was off to the side, grinning like this was the best form of entertainment he’d seen in centuries.
You inhaled deeply, grounding yourself. Okay. This was it. You were going to fight the Demon King, and it was going to be serious. No more cozy tea parties. No more lighthearted book shopping trips. It was time to—
“Would you like me to go easy on you?” Malleus asked.
You scoffed. “Pfft. No. Give me everything you’ve got.”
Malleus hummed, looking almost pleased at your confidence. “Very well.”
And then, without warning, he disappeared from sight.
You barely had time to register the movement before a gust of wind slammed into you at full force, sending you flying backwards like a poorly thrown ragdoll.
You crashed into a bush.
For a moment, you just lay there, staring at the sky, contemplating every choice that had led you to this moment.
Then, groaning, you rolled out of the shrubbery, shaking off the twigs as you picked up your sword. “Okay,” you muttered, adjusting your grip. “That was just a warm-up round.”
Malleus was still standing in the same spot, looking entirely unbothered.
And his hands were behind his back.
You narrowed your eyes. “Are you—” You took a deep breath. “Are you fighting me with your hands behind your back?"
“Of course,” Malleus said pleasantly. “You told me not to go easy on you.”
You could hear Lilia choking on laughter in the background.
You squinted at Malleus, wondering if you should feel honored or insulted.
Fine. You could work with this. You charged again, ducking low, aiming for his legs. A flicker of green magic intercepted you, sending a harmless but powerful shockwave that knocked your weapon out of your hands.
You stared at your empty hands.
Malleus looked mildly impressed. “Good attempt.”
You retrieved your sword. Tried again. And again. And again.
Malleus never used his hands. Never lifted a finger. He just sidestepped your attacks with casual ease, occasionally flicking his magic at you, like you were a mildly annoying housecat trying to pounce on a much larger, much more powerful predator.
Somewhere along the way, you stopped trying to win and just started having fun.
And then, eventually, your energy gave out. You collapsed onto the ground, spread-eagled, arms outstretched, staring up at the sky as you caught your breath.
Malleus stepped closer, looming over you with an expression you couldn’t quite read.
“I do believe you’re my favorite hero,” he mused.
You groaned and slapped a hand over your face.
The gods were going to kill you if they ever found out about this.
You couldn’t sleep.
Which was fine. Heroes probably weren’t supposed to sleep. Heroes were supposed to lie awake at night, tormented by the burden of their destiny, haunted by the weight of their mission, plagued by—
"What if I let him win?"
You bolted upright so fast you nearly knocked yourself unconscious on your headrest. You slapped a hand over your mouth like you had just spoken a heresy so foul the gods would strike you down immediately.
That was not a normal thought for a hero to have. That was the most absurd, blasphemous, outrageous, morally reprehensible—
"Am I technically dating the Demon King???"
NO. NO NO NO NO NO NO—
Your hands went to your temples. You squeezed your eyes shut. Maybe if you just thought hard enough, you could physically remove this thought from your brain. Or maybe, if you focused, the gods would finally smite you like they had always threatened to do.
You flopped back down onto your mattress, dragging a pillow over your face, as if that would smother the absolute nonsense your mind was generating tonight. But the problem was, now that the thought had entered your brain, it had built a home there. It had a mailbox. It was paying taxes. And now it was decorating with even worse thoughts.
Because now you were remembering the way Malleus had smiled when you let him talk for two whole hours about gargoyles. How his eyes had lit up like you were the first person to ever listen. The way he carefully, deliberately made your tea exactly how you liked it, as if he had memorized it from the very first time. The way he always tilted his head when he listened to you, genuinely fascinated by even the stupidest things you said.
The way he let you exist in his space. Not as an enemy. Not as a hero. But as…
… oh no.
OH NO.
You slapped a hand over your mouth again. Your other hand clenched into the sheets like you were physically trying to hold onto your sanity.
You were NOT—this was NOT—
You rolled over, kicking your legs violently under the covers. Maybe if you shook your entire body hard enough, you could dislodge this thought from existence. Yeet it into the void. Purge it from reality. But all that happened was that you pulled a muscle in your back and now you were lying there, in agony, emotionally and physically, because you were starting to realize something terrible.
You weren’t just fond of Malleus. You didn’t just enjoy his company.
You liked him.
You LIKED him.
YOU LIKED THE DEMON KING.
You sat up again, legs crossed, hands clasped together in front of you. “Dear gods,” you whispered, voice trembling, “please smite me where I sit. I have failed you.”
Nothing happened.
“…Cowards,” you muttered.
You flopped back down, staring at the ceiling in pure despair.
You were going to bed. You were going to sleep, and when you woke up, you would not be in love with the Demon King. You would be normal. You would be reasonable. You would be a good hero.
You closed your eyes.
Five seconds passed.
You opened them again.
Gods help me.
Literally.
You were having the time of your goddamn life.
Malleus' lair—again, as usual. You were halfway draped across his lap, leisurely popping fruit into your mouth while Lilia spun some absolutely deranged tale about the time he tricked a king into believing he was a vengeful forest spirit. Malleus sipped his tea, vaguely amused, and you? You laughed so hard you nearly choked on a grape.
The atmosphere? Immaculate. Life? Good. Everything? Perfection.
And then the door SLAMMED open.
You flinched so hard you nearly tumbled off Malleus’ lap. The tea cups rattled. The room’s easygoing tension evaporated as you stared at the figure in the doorway—some guy, just some guy—storming in with his sword drawn, looking like he was about to say the most dramatic thing you’d ever heard in your life.
“I HAVE COME TO SLAY YOU, DEMON KING—”
He stopped.
Because you—the actual hero—were very much not slaying the Demon King. You were, instead, sprawled across him like a spoiled house cat, eating his fruit and giggling like an idiot.
A horrifically long pause followed as this budget hero—who was not chosen by the gods, by the way—took in the scene.
Scrambling upright, you waved your hands frantically. “This—this is not what it looks like—”
“It is exactly what it looks like,” Lilia corrected, taking a dainty sip of tea. “Please, continue.”
Budget Hero looked insulted. Absolutely offended. “You—you’re supposed to be a hero! You’re supposed to be fighting him, not—” He gestured at you and Malleus with a face of pure betrayal. “—whatever this is!”
Panic surged. “I am fighting him!”
Budget Hero squinted.
You cleared your throat. “It’s just—” A vague gesture at Malleus. “A mental battle.”
Lilia snickered. Malleus lifted a brow, deeply entertained.
Budget Hero wasn’t buying it. His face hardened with righteous fury as he turned his sword back on Malleus. “No matter! If the gods will not choose a proper hero to strike you down, then I shall—”
And that’s when it happened.
Before Malleus could even think about obliterating him, you moved first. Instinctively. Violently. Viscerally.
Budget Hero never saw it coming. His weapon went flying in a single fluid motion, and before he could process it, he was done. Just absolutely demolished.
Silence.
Then:
Lilia. Wheezing. “Oh, that was brutal.”
You stared down at Budget Hero’s crumpled form, still gripping your weapon, stunned.
Because here’s the thing. That wasn’t a calculated attack. It wasn’t self-defense. It wasn’t even to protect Malleus, exactly.
It was pure, unfiltered spite.
Who did this guy think he was? Marching in, sword drawn, acting like he was Malleus’ sworn enemy? That was your job. Your dynamic. The thought of anyone else trying to take that place—trying to take any place in Malleus’ life that wasn’t yours—was so disgusting, so offensive, that your body moved before your brain did.
…Oh no.
Quickly sheathing your weapon, you coughed into your fist. “Welp. That’s enough murder for today! I should get going!”
Malleus blinked at you, unbothered. “You only just arrived.”
Lilia, still recovering from laughter, wiped a tear from his eye. “Stay! We haven’t even finished discussing your new armor—”
“Nope!” You laughed—too forcefully. “Nooope! I just—I have to, uh—cleanse myself. Spiritually. From, um. Today’s events.”
Malleus tilted his head, intrigued. “You’ve killed before, haven’t you?”
You sweat. “Yeah, but this one was just, uh, really emotionally charged. You know how it is.”
Lilia’s grin was so knowing it made you ill. “Do we?”
You needed to leave immediately.
“Anyway, see you later, besties!” Backing toward the door, you threw up a hand. “Malleus, you’re great, Lilia, you’re also great, I’m normal, and definitely not in any sort of crisis! Bye!”
And then you fled. Like a coward.
You had been avoiding him.
Technically speaking, you had only been gone for a week. But considering you usually barged into his lair daily—arms full of books, or pastries, or some weird trinket you thought he’d like—it was an absence that did not go unnoticed.
After all, you had never run before.
Even when you first met him, when you had been sent to kill him, you had walked right up to him and said, "Hey, so the gods told me to kill you, but honestly, I don’t feel like it." And he had smiled, slow and intrigued, and offered you tea. That had been the beginning of everything.
You had stayed. You always stayed.
But yesterday, after that absolute disaster of an encounter with that third-rate hero, after watching yourself cut him down before Malleus could even lift a hand, after realizing with gut-wrenching horror that you had reacted viscerally to the mere idea of someone else claiming that they were destined to fight him, to be his rival, you had fled.
Because what the fuck did that mean?
Because why had your stomach turned in disgust at the thought of someone else standing in your place?
Because you had looked at Malleus, and something inside you had snarled mine, and the weight of that realization had nearly knocked you off your feet.
So you ran.
Cowardly. Embarrassing. You, the so-called chosen hero, the one who had spent months dragging Malleus through town, shoving hats over his horns, feeding him sweet treats, listening to him ramble about gargoyles with the fondest expression on your face—you had panicked and run away like a flustered maiden in a fairytale.
You didn’t even have the excuse of battle wounds. The only wounds were entirely self-inflicted, entirely emotional, and entirely stupid.
So today, after daysof pacing and telling yourself to get it together, you forced yourself to return.
You spent the entire week gaslighting yourself into thinking nothing happened.
That reaction? Not weird. You were just… caught off guard! Maybe a tiny bit possessive. Maybe incredibly deranged about Malleus to the point where you instinctively obliterated someone for even thinking about taking your role as his arch-nemesis—but that was normal. That was just healthy rival dynamics!
So when you walked into Malleus’ lair the next week, it was with the confidence of someone absolutely not having a mental breakdown over their supposed mortal enemy.
“Yo,” you greeted, hands in your pockets, a casual whistle leaving your lips. “What’s up, big guy? Ready for some classic, good old-fashioned, not-at-all suspicious hero vs. villain conflict today?”
No answer.
It was silent. Too silent.
Usually, Lilia was there to greet you with some teasing remark. Usually, Malleus could sense you the moment you entered his territory, and you’d be met with a soft “You’ve returned.” Usually, there was some kind of warmth, a quiet hum of life in these ancient halls.
But today, there was only cold stone.
Your stomach twisted as you searched for him.
You found him by one of the enormous windows, hands clasped behind his back, staring at the sky with an expression you’d never seen before. His shoulders—usually poised with an almost arrogant regality—were slack. His jaw, tight. His eyes, distant.
For the first time since you met him, he looked exhausted.
“…Malleus?”
Your voice came out softer than you expected. Almost hesitant. As if part of you already knew what he was about to say.
He didn’t turn, didn’t shift, didn’t react right away. Just stood there, gazing out at the vast horizon like he was searching for something.
Finally, after a long, slow exhale, he spoke.
“…I thought you weren’t coming back.”
Your breath caught.
You had been gone for a week. You figured skipping a few visits wouldn’t matter much. That you could collect yourself, sort out whatever this was, and return once you weren’t a flustered disaster.
But standing here now, staring at him, it hit you just how much he had felt your absence.
His fingers curled a little tighter behind his back. His voice, barely above a whisper—
“If someone were to kill me,” he murmured, “I think I’d rather it be you than anyone else.”
The breath whooshed out of your lungs.
Because suddenly, you understood.
He wasn’t just speaking in hypotheticals. He wasn’t musing about battle. He wasn’t challenging you, wasn’t provoking you, wasn’t setting the stage for a dramatic clash between hero and demon king.
No.
Malleus had lived centuries watching heroes march to his doorstep, brandishing divine weapons, shouting righteous declarations, vowing to end him. And yet, he had never once fallen. Never once faltered. Never once let a blade even graze his skin.
But yesterday, when you hadn’t returned, he had thought—ah. So this is how it ends.
If he had to be slain, he wanted it to be by your hand.
If he had to see someone for the last time, he had hoped it would be you.
You broke.
Instantaneous. No hesitation. No rational thought. No clever quip or theatrical deflection. No last-minute is this a good idea? self-reflection. Just a sharp inhale, a rapid closing of distance, and then—
You kissed him. Hard.
Not soft, not slow, not gentle. Desperate. Raw. Months of pent-up feelings, of endless late nights spent thinking about him, of hands brushing and shared laughter and quiet understanding and—fuck. You were so gone for him.
Malleus stiffened—but only for a second.
Then he melted into you.
His hands rose—one tangling in your hair, the other curling around your waist, pulling you so close you swore you could feel his heartbeat hammering against your chest. He kissed back just as desperately, just as fiercely, like he’d been waiting just as helplessly as you had.
When you finally pulled away, breathless, he stared like he’d never seen you before. Wide-eyed. Lips parted. His grip on you so tight, like he was terrified you’d vanish if he let go.
“…I suppose that was your way of saying you refuse?” His voice, unsteady.
A breathless, shaky laugh. “Yeah,” you whispered. “Yeah, I refuse.”
His forehead pressed to yours, breath warm against your lips. His hands didn’t loosen their hold.
“…Then don’t ever leave me.”
You closed your eyes. Gripped his shoulders.
Nodded.
“Never.”
The celestial being—divine embodiment of justice and order, an ancient force revered throughout history—descended upon Malleus’ lair in a blinding display of light and holy power.
Wings of pure radiance unfurled. A golden staff crackled with divine energy. A voice, imbued with the might of the cosmos, boomed across the chamber:
“CHOSEN HERO. DEMON KING. IT IS TIME FOR YOUR DESTINED BATTLE.”
You blinked. Looked up from where you were curled against Malleus, sipping tea and reading a book titled 1,001 Architectural Wonders (That Are Not Gargoyles, Please Stop Asking).
Malleus glanced up from the game of chess he was currently losing against Lilia. “Oh?” he said, perfectly unbothered. “Has it truly been that long?”
“Yes, it has been that long!” the celestial being thundered. “You were sent here to vanquish the Demon King, not—” their eye twitched as they took in the scene, “—play house with him.”
You frowned. “Okay, first of all, rude.”
"Rude? RUDE?!" The celestial being practically vibrated with fury. "YOU LIED TO US!"
“I did not lie,” you said, deeply offended. “I gave you very detailed mission updates.”
“‘I’m gathering intel on the enemy’?”
“I was!” you huffed. “Did you know Malleus actually prefers honey in his tea instead of sugar? Crucial information.”
The celestial being sputtered. “You literally wrote, and I quote—” they conjured a glowing scroll and read aloud, “‘I need to study his weaknesses.’”
“Well,” you said, nodding toward Malleus, “he is weak to compliments. Call him ‘awe-inspiring’ and he gets all flustered. It’s very endearing.”
The being looked one breath away from smiting you. “AND ‘HE’S PROBABLY PLANNING SOMETHING EVIL, I NEED TO KEEP AN EYE ON HIM’??”
You pointed at Malleus, who was currently sipping tea with perfect elegance, staring at you like you personally hung the moon in the sky.
“Look at him,” you said dryly. “He’s clearly up to something.”
Malleus delicately set down his teacup. “Indeed,” he mused. “I was just plotting whether to have scones or biscuits with my tea tomorrow.”
The celestial being’s golden aura flickered like a candle in the wind. “YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO KILL HIM!”
Malleus frowned. “That seems excessive for a difference in snack preference.”
The celestial being inhaled sharply, hands trembling. You were pretty sure you just heard them whisper I hate my job.
“Enough!” they roared. “FIGHT! NOW!”
You and Malleus exchanged a long glance.
There was a beat of silence.
Then, with all the excitement of two overworked employees being forced into another useless meeting, you both sighed and reached for the nearest decorative swords.
You lifted your sword. Malleus did the same.
And then, with all the enthusiasm of two toddlers being told to pretend-fight for Grandma’s amusement—
—you both half-heartedly tapped your swords together.
clink.
“There,” you said, monotone. “We fought. Can we go back to cuddling now?”
The celestial being screamed.
The celestial being didn’t so much escort you to the heavens as haul you there like a parent dragging a misbehaving child to a disciplinary hearing. You barely had time to adjust to the blinding light before being unceremoniously dropped onto the cold marble floor.
Above you, the gods loomed from their gilded thrones, their divine radiance pulsing with something that was not quite anger—because gods did not feel anger, only divine disappointment, which was so much worse.
The celestial being, standing smugly beside them, crossed their arms. “I told you they weren’t taking this seriously.”
The first god spoke, voice like rolling thunder. “Chosen hero.”
Another voice, this one like a windstorm, joined in. “You were sent to slay the Demon King.”
A third, calm and cold as deep water. “And yet, you have done nothing.”
You opened your mouth to argue, but the celestial being snapped their fingers, and suddenly, an image materialized before you. A glowing vision of you, fully reclined across Malleus’ lap, popping fruit into his mouth while he read a book.
You stared.
“…Okay,” you admitted, “this looks bad.”
The celestial being glared. “Because it is bad!”
The gods ignored them, their voices deepening into something more final.
“This war against the Demon King has lasted centuries,” one intoned.
“You were our last hope,” another added. “If you do not complete your duty, there will be no other hero for another hundred years.”
“Without a hero,” the celestial being hissed, “there will be no one to protect the world from his inevitable destruction.”
Their words should have shaken you. You should have felt the weight of them pressing into your spine, the consequences of this moment sinking into your bones.
Instead, you just felt tired.
Tired of this war you never understood. Tired of the gods, who sat safe in their gilded heavens, while they sent hero after hero to their deaths.
Tired of pretending that Malleus was something he wasn’t.
You took a slow breath. Then, you reached up and began unbuckling the divine armor. The metal rang loud as it clattered to the ground, reverberating through the silent chamber. You ripped the sacred amulet from around your neck, tossing it aside like an afterthought. The enchanted boots that carried you here? Gone.
The gods watched, speechless, as you stripped away everything that bound you to them.
Then, you stood taller than you ever had before.
“I quit,” you said simply.
The chamber erupted. The celestial being choked. “You can’t just—”
“I can,” you interrupted, stretching your arms, reveling in the freedom of it. “And I am. You want a hero? Find another poor fool. I’m done.”
The gods stared, as if they truly couldn’t comprehend your audacity.
“There will be no other hero for a century,” one god reminded you. “Do you understand what you are forsaking?”
You grinned. “Yeah. Unnecessary slaying.”
And with that, you turned on your heel and walked away, the celestial doors parting effortlessly before you. The gods did not stop you. Perhaps they couldn’t.
You returned to Malleus’ lair lighter than you had ever felt.
He was waiting for you when you arrived, standing near the entrance, his expression unreadable. His eyes—those impossibly green eyes—watched you carefully, searching for something.
“You’re back,” he said softly.
You stepped closer, meeting his gaze. “Of course.”
Something flickered in his expression—something relieved, something like hope.
You exhaled, the weight of everything lifting off your shoulders. “I’m free now, Malleus. No more gods. No more divine duty. Just… me.”
For the first time, you saw it—true joy in his gaze. He stepped forward, closer, until there was nothing between you.
And then he kissed you.
It was not hesitant. Not questioning. It was certain, like he had always known this moment was inevitable, like he had only been waiting for you to realize it too.
When he finally pulled away, he rested his forehead against yours, his lips curling into a smile.
“I was hoping you’d choose me,” he murmured.
You smiled back, fingers threading through his.
“I always would have.”
It happened over tea, as most of your most life-altering conversations with Malleus tended to.
You had been lounging on his absurdly comfortable sofa, sipping something floral he had brewed just for you, feeling very much like a person who had absolutely no idea that their entire life was about to be rearranged.
Malleus, ever composed, set down his own cup and regarded you with something almost too fond.
“I’ve been thinking,” he began, “about how long we’ve been together.”
You blinked. “How long?”
He hummed, tilting his head. “Since you gave me your sword, of course.”
You continued blinking, because surely, surely you had misheard him.
“…My sword?”
Malleus nodded, utterly serene. “Yes. It was an elegant proposal.”
You made a sound. It wasn’t a word, exactly, but it conveyed your confusion well enough.
Malleus watched you, waiting patiently for what he must have assumed was joyous realization.
You, meanwhile, were still trying to process whatever the hell was happening.
“…Proposal,” you echoed, because maybe if you repeated it, reality would shift into something that made sense.
Malleus offered a rare, knowing smile. “A symbol of devotion. Offering one’s most treasured possession to another—it is an unbreakable vow, a declaration of lifelong commitment. The moment you placed your sword in my hands, you became mine.”
A long pause.
You stared at him. He continued to look pleased.
You, meanwhile, were experiencing an entire existential crisis.
“Hold on,” you said slowly. “So you’re telling me that, in demon culture, giving you my sword meant—”
“A proposal,” Malleus finished, nodding. “It was quite romantic.”
Your brain short-circuited. You thought back to that moment, a year ago, when you had so casually handed him your holy sword, thinking haha, maybe he can make this thing shut up.
In reality, you had apparently gotten engaged like an absolute moron.
You set down your tea with the careful precision of someone trying very, very hard not to spiral. “Malleus,” you said, voice deceptively calm, “why didn’t you tell me?”
He blinked, puzzled. “I thought you knew.”
“Malleus, I’m human.”
He tilted his head, considering. “Ah. I see the problem now.”
You pinched the bridge of your nose, inhaling deeply. “So, in your mind, we’ve been betrothed this whole time?”
“Yes,” he said, utterly unbothered.
You stared at him. He stared back, composed as ever.
And then you just—laughed. Because of course. Of course you had accidentally proposed to the Demon King like an idiot.
“Well,” you said between snickers, wiping at your eyes. “Since we’re apparently already engaged, wanna just go ahead and get hitched?”
Malleus’ grin was blinding.
“Absolutely.”
"Prefect, have you seen Rook anywhere?"
Epel looked distraught. He had spent the last three hours searching for his upperclassman, only to come up empty handed. He was now searching the courtyard again to no avail and was hoping you could give him a hand.
"Oh, yeah. He's been following me around all day," you answered.
"What?" Epel looked doubtful. His eyes scanned the empty paved path behind you. "How do you know?"
"Watch this."
You raised your hands above your head, forming a nice ring shape. No sooner did you lock your fingers together in the air than an arrow whizzed between your arms. It struck the ground right in front of Epel and chipped off part of the sidewalk.
Epel let out a swear and stepped back. "Wha' in tarnation was that!?"
You let your arms fall back down. "I think it's some kind of game. Rook hasn't actually spoken to me since he started doing it, but it's kinda fun. We've been practicing."
Summary: How the act when they're jealous
Characters: All (-Ortho)
A/N: Something something Floyd <3
Riddle Rosehearts:
He’s ashamed about it
He knows that being jealous is toxic and he hates that he’s feeling that, so he ignores it
He pretends he’s not jealous and hopes it just goes away, and yet… it hasn’t
He knows you’re dating him and he has nothing to worry about. But the way that guy is being so touchy and getting so close to you… it makes him want to collar the guy right then and there
He doesn’t because that would be unreasonable, but he does decide that he needs to talk to you. If ignoring it won’t work, then he’ll just have to face it and talk to you about it.
So, he walks over and asks to talk with you privately
“I don’t like how friendly that guy was with you. I know you love me, but I’m jealous. It’s silly and childish and I’m sorry that you have to deal with me being like this. I tried to ignore it, but it got worse, so I thought telling you about it would help. And again, I’m sorry.”
He’s so sincerely apologetic about it
Because he doesn’t want you to feel bad or feel like you have to stop being friends with that guy just because he’s jealous
Just tell him that it’s okay and remind him that you love him and only him
And a date would help too. Maybe a private tea party in the rose gardens
Trey Clover:
He doesn’t get jealous easily. He’s so confident in his relationship that “what if…” thoughts of you cheating or leaving him hasn’t once crossed his mind, BUT…
There is a line that shouldn’t be crossed
This guy acts so casual and nice around you, and he’s happy about it and he wished it stopped there
But then the next day, the guys is standing closer, being more touchy, and his voice sounds more flirtatious
Trey knows you don’t hear how he’s speaking, because if you did you would’ve moved away or told him you were taken or something. But you just kept talking to him with a smile
So, Trey walks over to shut this guy down before he takes it too far
“Hey. So sorry to interrupt, but they’re taken. I’m Trey, Y/N’s boyfriend. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
He’s so polite that you can’t tell he’s even jealous
He lets you finish your conversation with him, but he stays there with you to make sure he doesn’t do or say anything
And the next day, he keeps you all to himself
He takes you out to eat, shows you around Sage’s island, bakes with you (or talks to you while you watch him bake) and then invites you to stay over and watch a couple movies of your choice before falling asleep in each others arms
Nobody could even tell he’s jealous
Cater Diamond:
So pouty
He gets jealous and walks around with a pout on his face
He doesn’t even check Magicam!
It’s not hard for him to get jealous either
You smile at someone for a bit longer than usual? He’s jealous. You let someone stand a little too close? He’s jealous. You agree to hang out with them one-on-one? He’s jealous.
He doesn’t like being jealous, and he tries to hide how often he gets jealous. Usually it works. He just takes a few days to think it over and then he’s perfectly fine.
But, sometimes it becomes unavoidable and he can’t hide it. And at those times, he invites you to his room so he can talk to you
“That guy you studied with yesterday was being pretty buddy-buddy with you. Almost like you’re a couple. But, last time I checked, we were dating. And I don’t think our relationship is open right now. Wanna explain yourself?”
He doesn’t realize how accusatory he sounds
It’s like he’s interrogating you and doesn’t realize it
And he does feel bad when he realize how he sounds, because he knows it’s not your fault
He apologizes for being so accusatory and asks you to have a study date with him later that day
You get to his room after class and he’s n set up for something that isn’t a study date
His LEDs (He has LEDs because I said so) are on a nice pinkish color, the room smells like cherry blossoms and he has a little dinner for two set up on his desk with an extra chair that he borrowed from Trey’s room. And before you go back to your dorm, he gives you a bouquet of roses
Ace Trappola:
Believe it or not, he doesn’t get jealous that often
But when he is, he doesn’t waste any time
Some guy thinks he can just put his hand on your arm, and stand so close, and tell you that he’s always free if you want to “hang out”? Hell no
He’s immediately baring his teeth like a lion
Not literally, but you could definitely tell he’s jealous with one look
He just walks over to you and forces this guy to back off. And if the other guy doesn’t back down, he’s not afraid to fight him
“Hey. Back off! For your information, they’re my partner. MY partner! Not yours. Why don’t you back up and keep your dirty little hands off of them. Wouldn’t want them to catch whatever creep disease you have. Hey, babe, let’s go. I want to make you dinner tonight.”
He gets you out of there as fast he can
He also doesn’t straight up tell you not to talk to that guys (especially if he’s your friend) but he does say “that guy makes me uncomfortable”
And he takes you back to his dorm and makes you dinner (Riddle and Trey have to step in because he almost ruins it. He tried and that’s what matters)
He also ask you to stay the night just for his peace of mind
Deuce Spade:
Immediately feels guilty. Especially because his first instinct is to go over there and punch the guy that’s standing too close and getting too touchy
You don’t even know that he’s jealous, because he never tells you
There are signs though
He’s hanging around you more often, getting more touchy, saying “I love you” more often, but other than that you wouldn’t know
He talks to one person about it and that's Jack
He ask Jack for advice on being and jealous and Jack gives pretty solid advice
The only way you’ll actually get him to admit he’s jealous is if you ask him
“Oh… Is it obvious? Sorry, I didn’t want to say anything in case you thought you did something wrong or anything. I was trying to hide it so it didn’t affect you. Am I being too overbearing? I’m sorry, I’ll try to tone it down.”
Please reassure him that he isn’t being overbearing and that you just want to make sure that he knows you love him
He tells you that he’ll work on not being jealous and even ask if you can help since he’s never seen you jealous
He wants to be better for you ♡
Very protective
Leona Kingscholar:
You’re his herbivore, not anyone else's
Someone gets too touchy or too friendly, he will get so protective
God forbid it’s a Savanaclaw student, he will make their life a living hell
He’s also not afraid to approach you two while you’re talking and telling him off
Doesn’t he know who this herbivore belongs to?
“Hey! This herbivore is taken. I’ve made that very obvious. And even if they weren’t, what makes you think they’d like someone like you? There’s a reason you’re single. How about you stop creeping on people and do something productive? Herbivore, you want me to teach this guy a lesson?”
Will actually beat the guy up if you want him to
He’ll also immediately take you to his room to cuddle
Also encourages you to tell off anyone else who acts that way
And if he does catch you telling off a creep, he gets so proud
“That’s my herbivore.”
Ruggie Bucchi:
Doesn’t really mention it, but there are so many signs
He’ll ask you to study more, get donuts, and help him with chores. And he’s a lot clingier than ever
There isn’t a minute of your day that goes by when he’s not with you
And he also discreetly teaches the guy a lesson. By stealing all of his money. He has the guys wallet now
He’s not gonna get all flirty with his partner and not pay the price
“Hey! Y/N! I got more money! You wanna go out? My treat!”
He tells you that the money came from Leona, but it didn’t.
He just sticks closer to you and doesn’t talk about it
He’ll also deny being jealous if you call him out on it
If you talk to the guy he’s jealous of when he’s with you, he’ll shamelessly glare at him
Jack Howl:
Doesn’t get jealous easily
He trust you and that’s not gonna change because some guy gets touchy
He’ll only get jealous if you actively flirt with somebody, but at that point he just settles for leaving (reasonable)
He’s protective though
If a guys flirting with you and you’re visibly uncomfortable, he will get you out of there as fast as possible
Or if you tell him that a certain student is being creepy to you, he’ll keep you away from the guy
“Hey. You’re making them uncomfortable. Leave my partner alone. Y/N, let's go. Do you wanna see this new cacti I’m growing?”
He ends up sticking around you and make sure nobody is creepy or starts making you uncomfortable
He’ll act like your personal security
If a guy gets mad and starts getting physical with either of you, he’ll pick them up and take him away from you
Not jealous, but protective
Azul Ashengrotto:
Oh no
He just locks himself in the VIP room
Azul’s coping mechanism is to hide and he does just that
He sees a guy being all touchy and flirty and he doesn’t stick around. He just runs off and hides
You have to go to him and tell him that you aren’t into that guy
“I know. You are dating me and you love me. I just saw that guy and I thought… I don’t know. Maybe he’d be better for you. He’s more athletic, better looking, he’s… fit. I’m sorry.”
Once he’s out of the Funk© (as Floyd calls it) he will not hold back on the guy
He will get Floyd and Jade to spy on him and get blackmail information. He’ll then force the guy to work for him by using the blackmail and leave him with the worst and hardest job
That guy will learn not to be creepy to his partner again
Jade Leech:
Unhinged
Sometimes he’ll pretend to be jealous just to mess with you and get kisses, but when he’s actually jealous, he’s unhinged
He will blackmail whoever he’s jealous of to do disgusting things. When he goes to the Mostro Lounge, Jade will purposely make his food bad (or tell Floyd to mess it up). He’ll let Floyd have “fun” with him.
He is not going to go easy on this dude. Oh, but you won’t know any of this. You just notice that he seems a little more on edge and if you ask him about it:
“Well, my pearl, I’ve been quite jealous recently. Don’t worry though, I’ve dealt with it. Would you like to go on a hike with me?”
You can try to ask how he “dealt with it” but he won’t elaborate. He just tells you not to worry about it
He has this big grin on his face too, that definitely doesn’t calm you down
He does drag you on a hike with him. Mainly to get your mind off of what he might’ve done and also to get more mushrooms for his terrariums
Floyd Leech:
Oh no… Oh No. OH NO!
He gets unhinged in a more physical way
He is not afraid to approach you and get the guy to leave you alone. In a forceful way
He's so angry and violent. In a word, he’s very Floyd. Which checks out
“HEY! Who do you think you’re flirting with? That’s my shrimpy! Are you asking to get squeezed? Aha, I’ll give you a ten second head start.”
He’ll chase the guy around the school for a good while. To terrorize him, he’ll let the guy stay ahead of him, but once he starts slowing down he’ll get him
Oh, but you won’t get mercy either
He finds you after school and cuddles you for hours
He’s half-heartedly squeezing you with his head buried in your chest and grumbling about you being cruel
He’ll tell you how mean you are letting him get all jealous and then not doing anything to make him feel better
The cuddle’s don't count either. He wants kisses. A LOT of kisses.
Doesn’t get jealous
Kalim Al-Asim:
Ever
Why would he need to be jealous? He trust you
He sees a guy flirting with you and doesn’t feel even a little worried
At the end of the day, he’s the one dating you, he’s the one kissing you, he’s the one who gets all your love and affection and that’s what matters
Now, if you want him to step in and help you he will
You have to tell him if someone makes you uncomfortable and if he sees that person talking to you, he’ll step in
“Excuse me, they’re taken. I’m their boyfriend. Sorry, but I need them for something. Come on, Y/N, I need your help setting up for a party this weekend.”
The excuse he used to get you out of their wasn’t even a lie
He genuinely needs help setting up for a party
Whenever he gets you out of uncomfortable situations, he never lies about needing you. He needs your opinion on everything. The food for a banquet, the decorations for a party, his drumming skills, everything.
Jamil Viper:
What? Him? Jealous? Yes
You love him and want him. He’s not letting someone take you.
He’s tries to be lowkey about it though
He’ll interrupt every conversation you have with the guy, claiming that he needs you for something and then saying he just wanted to spend time with you
He’ll invite you to study more or help him with his chores
He’s not above pulling you away from the guy either
“Hey. I need them. Y/N, can you come with me?”
He literally just keeps you away from the guys he’s jealous
He tries to hide it, but then eventually just ends up cuddling you forever
He ends up falling asleep
And when you tell him he’s more clingy than usual, he denies it (like a liar)
Another guy that doesn’t get jealous
Vil Schoenheit:
He’s confident in himself
Why would you leave him for any of the potatoes around this school? Nobody could be as great as he is
He knows he has no reason to worry
At least, that’s what he says, until…
He sees you talking to Neige
Neige isn’t flirting or anything, he’s just being his normal self, but Vil still get jealous
The longer you talk to him the more the jealousy grows. He doesn’t say anything while Neige’s there but when Neige’s gone
“Potato. I hate to admit this, but I've found that I’m jealous. Perhaps you could help get rid of this ugly feeling. Would you like to go out for dinner?”
He spends the rest of the day with you. He’ll just randomly kiss you and gets happy when you randomly kiss him
And at the dinner, he pulls a bouquet out of thin air
You think he planned this the day prior. After all, he was with you all day, and you didn’t see him buy a bouquet
Little do you know, he ordered them while you were distracted and had Rook deliver them to him just before he entered the restaurant
Rook Hunt:
Rook, believe it or not, isn’t jealous
He is, however, territorial
If someone ends up standing too close to you, they will end up with an arrow grazing by them, forcing them to back up
He doesn’t acknowledge it at all
To him it’s just another day
You ask him about it and he acts confused
“What do you mean? I was just making sure they learned personal space, mon chéri. I need to make sure no one thinks to touch what's mine.”
He goes on a whole rant about boundaries and mentions something about marking???
He keeps say french in the middle of his speech and you end up getting lost
The main point of his speech is that he doesn’t want anyone trying anything funny with you since your his
Weirdo
Epel Felmier:
Oh man…
Epel already has a bit of a fragile ego from always being seen as delicate and girly, so when someone tries to make a move on you…
He immediately thinks that they don’t think he can protect and provide for you
He assumes that they don’t think he’s man enough to keep someone safe and provide for them and he is not at all happy about it.
“HEY! Git yer hands off ma partner, ya creep. Ya think ah can’t provide for ‘em ‘cause ah’m small, ey? How bout we head outside and ah teach how a real man fights!?”
That guy wasn’t too sure what Epel said, but the aggressiveness made him leave you alone
Epel ends up flexing asking if you saw how good he was at protecting you
He then takes you to his spell drive practice to impress you more
He also tells you to tell him if anybody is creepy like that again
Let's get one thing straight, he didn’t see anything physically
Idia Shroud:
He was watching the cameras he installed in the sc- I mean, no, what cameras?
He saw this guy standing way too close and you were obviously uncomfortable and trying to back up
And just because he can’t go outside, doesn’t mean he can’t stop this guy and put him in his place
He has Ortho, after all. And he’s more than happy to protect his best friend
“Hey. You need to back up. They’re taken by my big brother. I suggest you leave them alone unless you want to experience my laser eyes first hand.”
Ortho than escorts you to Ignihyde to make sure that creep doesn’t try to approach you again
Idia pretends he wasn’t jealous while clinging onto you like his life depends on it
He’ll swear on his life that he wasn’t jealous and yet he refuses to swear on Hero’s Dawn: A Rogue's Journey. Strange
Malleus doesn’t realize that someone flirting with you at first
Malleus Draconia:
Only when Lilia tells him does he realize
He gets all huffy about it, but then remembers that he can smite the person with lightning
However, when he gets there, Sebek’s already there telling this person off
How dare they think they can treat this human better than the next king of Briar Valley! Are they dumb?
Malleus has to stop him from hurting the person and then sweeps you away
“My dear, that person didn’t put their filthy hands on you, did they? I must admit, when Lilia told me that they were flirting with you, I felt… Jealous. I’m glad to know that Sebek’s looking out for you.”
Sebek only thought it was an insult to Malleus, but maybe don’t tell him that.
He tries his best to be around and recognize flirting better, but it doesn’t really work
Lilia tries to teach him the differences between friendliness and flirting, but he doesn’t get it
He tries though, and that’s what matters
Lilia Vanrouge:
Oh no
No mercy for this poor soul who thought of flirting with you
He’s lowkey a little unhinged, but doesn’t let it show
In his mind, he’s thinking about settling this with a good old fashioned duel, and on the outside, he’s smiling politely
He does feel a little smug. He already knew you were the hottest student on campus, but this further cements that
“Oho? I understand why you would be interested in them, they are the greatest after all. However, they are taken. By me. Say, if you’re so intent on winning their heart, why don’t you duel me for it.”
He doesn’t end up fighting that person because he’s powerful enough to accidentally kill them, but he definitely considered it for a second
Just a second
And then he takes you to his room to play video games well past midnight
Silver Vanrouge:
Doesn’t get jealous for two reasons
1. He can’t tell the difference between being friendly and flirting and
2. He trusts you
Even if someone tells him that it’s flirting he won’t do anything because he trust you not to leave him
He’ll only take action if you tell him someone is making you uncomfortable
He asks for a name and/or description of the person and confront them about it
“My partner told me that you flirting with them has made them uncomfortable. Please stop. If you continue to harass them and make them uncomfortable, I won’t hesitate to take matters into my own hands. So, please leave them alone so this situation doesn’t escalate.”
After a few days, he asks if that guy left you alone and is satisfied when you say yes
He’ll do anything to make you feel safe and happy
Sebek Zigvolt:
It takes him a few minutes to realize someones flirting with you, but when he does he gets pissed
Who do they think they are?
That’s his human!
He’s insulted, offended, appalled, stunned, another word
This shall not stand
“How dare you say such things to MY human? Do you know who I am? I’m a loyal attendant of my liege, Prince Malleus Draconia! How dare you think of saying such things to MY human! You are a despicable person and I detest you!”
He meant that with his whole heart
He stays with you the whole day and makes sure that no more creeps try to creep on you
Hellooo :3c I hope you are doing alright 🌸
I want to make a request, i got a silly idea and i hope you dont mind!
If posible, i would like to request for Riddle, Carter, Azul and Lilia and how they would react when while they were hanging out with their crush (or s/o, however you prefer) reader out of nowhere tells them that last night they had a dream where both were getting married, but like reader is telling them cuz the dreams was so wild, like in the old princess Disney movies everything was so animated, there were floating things everywhere and it was full of color and everyone was dancing (even the furniture)
Type: Headcanons, SFW, Fluff, Romantic
Characters: Riddle Rosehearts; Cater Diamond; Azul Ashengrotto; Lilia Vanrouge; GN!Reader
AN: I might've gone a bit too sappy, let me know what you think
Riddle Rosehearts
-Riddle is slightly baffled, more so by the thought of you dreaming of a wedding with him as the groom, not how wierd it was. The latter at least makes sense, dreams are intended to be strange, like that one time he dreamt about being a tart. Nonetheless he's touched.
- The young man would be flustered, yet curious. Inanimate objects becoming... Animate? In tales about Queen of Hearts something similar acured on daily basis. Perhaps if the two of you do get married maybe he should try and arrange for the whole ordeal to be heavily based off of one of the Sevens? But that's jumping too fast and too far into the future.
- His mind wonders as you tell and more about your dream, as his face grows redder and redder with blush as you describe any detail involving him as the groom. He's both touched and embarrassed to an extent, yet he's happy that at least in your dream he stayed a proper gentleman.
- Riddle cannot get an image of you by the altar from his head for some time, both of you dressed for the ceremony, staring lovingly into each other's eyes... As he mentally scolds himself for daydreaming amids the day, he can't help but hope that one day that little dream of yours becomes reality for both of you.
Cater Diamond
- Oh?! Do tell him every little detail! Cater is not only happy that he was in your dream, but also was the groom? Oh did the two of you kiss? Did he feed you the cake, did you two dance with the furniture? The young man listens to your dream, exited expression on his face.
- It may be a dream, but now it's a shared dream between the two of you. Cater knows that you might be jumping over your heads with the hypothetical dream wedding of yours, but he doesn't care, he's already invested, trying to prey out as much detail as possible simply to try and envision the whole thing. He might even pull out some kind of Piccrew for rooms and try to recreate the place for giggles with you.
- Cater is also encouraging of your ideas or how dream might've ended or what happened in parts you don't remember no matter how silly or how little they make sense, so long as they make sense to you. He might even throw in his own theories or add even more redicules ideas, to make your dream seem even more whimsical.
- While Cater is obviously joking around, he does find the thought of marrying you a pleasant one. He's jealous even, the man wishes he saw a wedding with you in his dream, but then again, reality is just as pleasant if not better.
Azul Ashengrotto
- What. The man is flattered that he was in your dream, but mainly, what? Azul is a very analytic person in every aspect of his life, even if such aspect involves his significant other's dreams. Que his search history later on containing "Dreams of wedding meaning?"
- He might be a little red in a face or loss at words, but please don't stop, tell him all, the man lives for information. While he won't encourage such silly fantasies, he will entertain a thought of marriage to you. A lot... Maybe dancing and singing furniture is surface dwellers costume? He'll have to research.
-Ashengrotto will now daydream from time to time of a wedding, a life of being married to you, after the two of you graduate. Would the you stay on land? Perhaps you'd like to move to the Coral Sea with him, take up family business even? He might pretend that such silly fantasies don't affect him, but even capatlists aren't immune to love.
- Azul harbors such hopes and dreams, redoubling in his work. If he will be married to you he'll have to outdo your dream, which will involve outdoing alive furniture. The merman is ready for the challenge as long as it involves giving you everything, beyond your dreams.
Lilia Vanrouge
- You don't say... Alive furniture? Was it awkward to use it? Were chairs rioting if you sat in them? Was food also alive? Did he cook it? Then perhaps it was alive if that was the case. Lilia finds anything you say entertaining, your dreams are con exception. The man saw many things in his life, yet others visions during slumber were yet to be places he visits often.
- Before you know it Lilia is already imagining and building theories as to how it would be to live in your dream after that wedding if everything followed the same rules. Must be awkward taking a shower or using a toilet.
- The man wholeheartedly believes it tonbe a sign from someone above. While Vanrouge won't drop down on one knee right that instant, he will remember everything. The suite he was wearing, the cake the two of you ate, how many guests were there etc.
-Lilia is not young, so naturally thoughts of marriage crossed his mind more then once, let alone with his darling. While to you were retelling your silly dream, Vanrouge was imagining the real thing. He can't help it, life with you already feels like a dream come true, what's a wedding?
You Being Super Oblivious Of Them Flirting With You
( ✧ ) ────── boyfriend stories . fluff/light romance - no prns .
- [𝐜𝐡.] 3rd years
- [𝐩:𝐬] slow burn . one-sided pinning (resolved) . light comedy . mild suggestiveness . teasing/banter . slight jealousy
Note: I sat down to write cute flirty headcanons and instead accidentally wrote all of these guys having a romantic breakdown in about their crush being so oblivious about the flirting. 💀 Then I thought they where good and just decided to go with that as the prompt!
Trey Clover
It had been going on for weeks.
Subtle, harmless gestures at first—sharing his homemade treats, seeking you out in the hallways between classes, and always making sure there was a spare seat beside him at Heartslabyul’s long, rose-lined table. You always took it. Smiling up at him, laughing at his jokes, even leaning against his shoulder sometimes when the evenings stretched long and drowsy under the golden canopy of dusk.
And yet.
You were completely, utterly oblivious.
“You’re really good at baking, Trey,” you complimented one day as he handed you a small, ribbon-tied box of matcha-flavored sweets, his personal recipe he never shared. You bit into one, eyes lighting up in delight. “I don’t know how someone like you is still single.”
Trey blinked.
“...Someone like me?”
“Yeah! Tall, dependable, cute smile—you’re like...dad boyfriend material.”
If he had been drinking tea, he might’ve choked.
Dad boyfriend material?!
Despite the polite, affable smile he wore, a faint twitch of disbelief rippled across his temple. Trey had dropped so many hints—letting you taste frosting off his finger in the kitchen, gently brushing your hair out of your eyes when you leaned too close to the oven, even calling you “sweetheart” under his breath when you dozed off during a study session.
And yet, here you were. Thinking he was some domestic teddy bear.
The final straw came during a Heartslabyul tea party, when you reached over to wipe a crumb from the corner of his mouth with your thumb, completely unaware of how red his ears turned.
“You’re always such a mess after eating cake,” you scolded gently.
“You do realize,” he said slowly, looking into your eyes with a rare, unreadable intensity, “that I only ever bring you the first slice.”
“Huh? I just thought I was lucky!” you grinned.
That did it.
He leaned in, lowering his voice as he caged you between the chair and the hedge behind. His gloved hand gently tipped your chin up. “I’ve been flirting with you for months,” he murmured. “How much more obvious do I have to be, shortcake?”
Your mouth dropped open. “Wha—wait, what?!”
Trey laughed softly, finally letting his forehead rest against yours, the tension melting into something warm, golden, and soft. “I swear, you’re sweeter than my tarts and twice as dense.”
Cater Diamond
“Okay, I give up,” Cater announced dramatically, collapsing face-down on the common room couch. “I’ve tried everything, and they still don’t get it.”
From behind his phone screen, he peeked at you sitting nearby, nose buried in a magazine, completely unaware of his suffering.
It had started as a game at first—light teasing, exaggerated winks, the occasional compliment laced with glittering charm.
“Looking good today, babe~” he’d say, snapping a selfie of the two of you while slinging an arm around your shoulders.
“Thanks, Cater! You look amazing too, as always!”
But you always said it like a friend. With zero hesitation, zero fluster, zero realization. You treated his affection like background noise—a quirk of his personality.
Even when he’d rested his head in your lap after a long day and looked up at you with dreamy, sleepy eyes and whispered, “You’d make a perfect boyfriend, y'know... if you’d let me,” you just chuckled and patted his hair.
“Aw, Cater, that’s sweet. You’d be a great boyfriend for someone, definitely.”
Someone.
SOMEONE.
He practically screamed into his pillow when he got back to his dorm that night.
Every day since then had been a desperate escalation. He started bringing you your favorite snacks, styling your hair for fun, sending you good morning texts with pet names like “sunshine” or “my star.” You responded with gifs. Gifs.
Finally, in a move of last-ditch desperation, he planned the boldest romantic gesture he could think of.
Cater rented out the photo booth in town, the one with the glitter backgrounds and soft lighting. He dragged you inside under the pretense of wanting “a bestie shoot,” and waited for the moment the countdown began.
Three…
Two…
One—
He turned, cupped your face, and kissed your cheek.
Click. Flash.
You blinked at him.
“Cater?? What was that for?”
He stared.
“No, seriously. Are you okay? Did you think I was sad or something? You can talk to me, y’know.”
Cater threw his hands up and groaned.
“You’re the one I like!! You! Not as a friend, not as a selfie buddy, not as a human pillow—I like you, you dense little cinnamon bun!”
Your eyes widened. “Wait. Are you flirting with me?”
He looked like he aged five years in five seconds.
“Yes. YES, BABE. That’s what the last four months were. Flirting. Full-throttle, heart-eyes, rom-com level flirting!”
“…Oh.”
A pause. Then, sheepishly:
“So… wanna take another photo? This time, maybe I kiss you on the lips?”
Cater blinked at your soft smile and the way your hand found his.
And just like that, every ounce of frustration melted into sparkly euphoria. “Oh my Seven,” he whispered with a grin. “Finally.”
Leona Kingscholar
Leona was not a man known for patience. In fact, most of the time, he prided himself on getting what he wanted with the least amount of effort. He was sharp, cunning, and confident enough to know that most people would bend over backward just to get a sliver of his attention. So when he set his sights on you—you, with your soft laugh, bright eyes, and completely clueless smile—he assumed it would be easy.
It wasn’t.
It started small. He’d lounge in the botanical gardens where he knew you always came to study. He made sure to growl off anyone else who might sit nearby, leaving the two of you in your own little secluded corner. He'd toss you the occasional compliment, his voice lazy and low.
“Tch. That look suits you, herbivore. Finally got some style.”
You’d blink at him with that warm, clueless grin. “Oh? Thanks, Leona. My friend helped me pick this outfit.”
He resisted the urge to growl. Again.
Then he escalated. He’d sit closer—closer than anyone would consider “just friends.” He'd drop hints laced with suggestion, his amber eyes narrowing when you remained oblivious. He once even played with your hair, idly running his fingers through it while you yawned and continued taking notes on magical herbology.
It got to the point where Ruggie cornered you in the hallway, shaking his head in disbelief. “You seriously don’t get it? He’s basically marking his territory every time you’re near!”
“Huh? Leona? Nah, he’s just... touchy sometimes.”
Leona nearly tore his textbooks in half when he heard that.
The final straw came one warm afternoon when you plopped down beside him under the shade of a sprawling tree. You smiled and passed him a snack you'd made, and Leona, in a bold move of desperation and hunger for your attention, leaned down and bit into it directly from your hand, eyes locked on yours the entire time.
You just blinked and said, “You must’ve been really hungry!”
Leona threw himself backward into the grass with a groan, covering his eyes with his arm.
“Seven hells, you’re dense,” he muttered.
“Huh?”
He sat up again, eyes narrowed, voice husky. “Do I need to spell it out for you, herbivore? I’m not just hanging around you ‘cause I’m bored. I’m trying to get you to notice me.”
You tilted your head, confused. “But I do notice you…”
“No,” he growled, grabbing your wrist gently but firmly, tugging you closer. “Notice me. As in, I want you. You. Me. Together. You seriously didn’t get that?”
You froze. And then it hit you like a freight train. The closeness, the compliments, the touches, the possessiveness—
“Oh... OH.”
Leona smirked, fangs glinting in the sun. “Took you long enough.”
Vil Schoenheit
Vil was always graceful, always poised, always in control. He calculated every step, every glance, every smile. So naturally, when he decided to pursue you, he did it with the same precision he applied to a stage performance or a red-carpet event. Subtle glances, gentle compliments, a brush of his fingers across your shoulder. It was a slow-burning courtship that he expected would sweep you off your feet.
But instead?
Nothing.
Nothing but your charming smile and occasional, completely unbothered “Thank you, Vil!” or “You’re so sweet!” before skipping off to your next class.
He chalked it up to modesty at first. Maybe you were shy. Maybe you wanted to play hard to get. But by week three, when he sent you a handpicked bouquet of enchanted roses and you gave them to Professor Trein’s cat because “it matched her fur,” Vil nearly fainted on the spot.
So, he got bolder.
One afternoon, he strode into your dorm’s common room while you were curled up on a couch with a book. Wordlessly, he slipped beside you and sat right in your lap, settling as gracefully as ever, legs crossed, arm lazily draped around your shoulders.
You blinked. “Are you tired? You can sit here as long as you need.”
Vil’s eye twitched.
“Tired? No, darling, I wanted to sit somewhere comfortable and charming. Surely you understand the appeal.” He leaned in, his breath tickling your ear. “Or is my lap too forward for your delicate sensibilities?”
You laughed lightly. “Nope! You’re light. I didn’t even notice the weight. Kinda like a cat. A really fashionable one.”
Fashionable cat?!
Vil nearly stood up right then and there, scandalized. But no—he took a deep breath. Composure. Poise.
Until you reached up and started patting his head.
“You’re so pretty, Vil. I hope I can be as pretty as you one day.”
“…I’m not trying to be ‘pretty like you,’ I’m trying to be yours,” he hissed in exasperation, face dangerously close to yours.
You blinked again. “Wait… what?”
Vil’s patience finally snapped like a taut ribbon.
“For the love of all that is radiant—I have been flirting with you for months. I’ve complimented you, made time for you, bought you gifts, and now I am literally sitting on your lap! What more must I do? Wear a sign that says ‘I want to be yours’?”
You gaped at him.
“…I thought you were just naturally dramatic.”
Vil groaned, burying his face in your neck. “You’ll be the death of me.”
You awkwardly wrapped your arms around him, finally catching on. “Wait, so… you like me?”
He pulled back just enough to meet your eyes, expression softening ever so slightly. “I more than like you. But you, sweet potato, are so hopelessly dense.”
You laughed nervously, cheeks burning. “I’m really sorry… but, um… I like you too. I just didn’t think you’d like someone like me.”
Vil huffed, but a genuine smile curled on his lips. “Well, you’re mine now. And you’ll never be oblivious again, because I won’t give you the chance to miss it.”
Rook Hunt
To Rook, this was a challenge—a delicious, exquisite one.
He was well aware of how utterly unaware you were. The first time he realized, it was during archery club. He complimented the way your arms flexed as you pulled the bowstring, his tone sultry, his gaze locked on you like you were his prey.
You grinned and said, “Haha, thanks! I’ve been working out my shoulders. Good for posture!”
He tilted his head, lips curled in amusement. “Ah, ma colombe, you are truly a creature of mystery~”
But instead of giving up, Rook only doubled down. He started leaving flowers at your desk with poetic notes—sometimes with metaphors so thick they practically screamed “I am in love with you!”
You just thought it was a Rook thing.
“You’re so sweet! You write such beautiful stuff. Have you thought of joining the poetry club?”
Poetry club…?! Mon dieu, I am baring my soul!
He even tried the "accidental touch" method—fingers brushing yours when passing a book, hands lingering too long during sparring practice. Yet you never reacted with more than a casual smile and a “You okay?”
And Rook? He found it thrilling.
“This unawareness… this resistance… c’est magnifique!” he whispered one day, watching you from the balcony like a Shakespearean ghost. “You are like a doe in the forest, unaware of the eyes that follow you in reverent adoration…”
The final straw was when he kissed the back of your hand under the moonlight after walking you to your dorm. With an air of mystery and drama, he looked into your eyes and murmured, “Bonsoir, ma lumière…”
You giggled. “Wow, you really should join the drama club. That delivery was incredible.”
Rook clutched his chest like he’d been shot, but he was laughing too. Of course. Of course you didn’t get it.
But that just made him want you more.
“I shall make it my mission to pierce through the veil of innocence that blinds you, mon trésor,” he declared to the stars. “You will see me—not as a friend, not as a fellow student—but as the man who has adored you all this time.”
Idia Shroud
It was exhausting trying to flirt with someone who didn’t even realize you were the final boss in their dating sim.
Idia never considered himself bold—not IRL, anyway. Most of his romantic experience came from watching his OTPs go through slow-burn arcs in visual novels or tragic anime love stories. But when it came to you, he was trying. Like, genuinely. In his own glitchy, socially awkward way.
He’d wait outside your classroom “totally coincidentally” with his tablet in hand, acting like he wasn’t tracking your class schedule to the minute. He even upgraded Ortho’s AI recognition software just to find excuses to walk past you more often. He quoted romantic lines from his favorite games to you, hoping you’d get it—but every single time?
You’d just blink. Smile. Nod like he was being cute.
“Oh, that line was so poetic! Is that from a movie or something?”
“B-bro that’s from Stellar Lust IV! The confession scene where the star-crossed lovers reunite under a dying moon! Are you seriously not…? Nvm.”
One afternoon, he got bold. He invited you to his room. That alone should’ve been a confession—no one entered his sacred gaming lair unless they had maximum trust level.
He cleared off a place on the bed, installed RGB mood lighting, even had anime OSTs playing softly in the background. He hyped himself up for weeks for this. He was going to drop a flirt so obvious, even a level 1 NPC could read it.
“So, u-uh, you ever wonder what it’d be like to… y’know… date a genius tech prince who could hack into the city grid just to turn all the traffic lights green for you?”
You tilted your head. “That sounds dangerous… but also kind of cool? Is this part of your new game concept?”
He.exe stopped working.
The blue flames of his hair turned pink for half a second before sizzling back.
He mumbled something incoherent and turned back to his computer, pulling his hoodie so far over his head he looked like a turtle. “N-no, yeah, that was just… haha… worldbuilding...”
He’d keep trying though. One day, he’d craft a cutscene so perfect, even you couldn’t ignore the affection coded into every line.
Malleus Draconia
Malleus was not used to being ignored. Or overlooked. Or, heaven forbid—misunderstood. He was the Crown Prince of Briar Valley, the most feared and powerful student on campus. And yet, here he was, casting ancient spells to conjure glowing roses and coaxing fireflies into hearts over your tea cup—only for you to respond with:
“Wow, Malleus! You always make things so aesthetic!”
He blinked. "Aesthetic?"
“Yeah! Super vibey. You should be a party planner.”
He nearly short-circuited.
This had been happening for weeks. He’d memorized your schedule, just so he could “coincidentally” be where you were. He’d offer to walk you home under the stars, hoping for soft-spoken confessions—but you only asked him if he thought raccoons had hierarchies in their little trash kingdoms.
...You were enchanting. But you were driving him mad.
One day, after finding yet another love poem he’d slipped into your book returned with grammar corrections (you thought he was practicing his prose), he decided on something bold. Direct. Unmistakable.
“Child of man,” Malleus said one twilight evening as you both sat beneath a tree, “if I were to tell you that my heart beats differently in your presence, that the night air tastes sweeter when you laugh—what would you say?”
You tilted your head, thinking. “I’d say you have a really poetic way of saying you like hanging out.”
“I do not merely like hanging out,” he said slowly, brow twitching. “I wish to court you.”
You stared. “Like… on trial?”
“…Romantically.”
“Ohhhh.”
Silence.
“Wait, me?!”
Malleus closed his eyes and inhaled. Patience. He could wait a thousand years more. But hopefully not.
Lilia Vanrouge
Lilia Vanrouge had seen centuries of war, peace, love, loss—and yet nothing, nothing, had prepared him for the sheer unshakable obliviousness that was you.
It started innocently enough.
He’d toss a wink your way whenever he passed by in the hallway. He brought you little trinkets from the village during his off-campus ventures—flowers woven into chains, sweets with hearts drawn on the wrappers, one time even a hairpin shaped like a bat. You had smiled and thanked him with the kind of radiant purity that could blind a mortal man. And then you tucked the bat hairpin in your pencil case.
Your pencil case. Like he was a math worksheet and not a 700+ year old fae trying to court you.
Still, he found it endearing. You were cute in a way that made his ageless heart ache, and he loved a challenge. So he tried harder.
“You know,” he drawled one afternoon, leaning over your shoulder with a voice like velvet, “in my youth, a suitor might serenade their beloved beneath the moonlight.”
“That’s sweet,” you said, eyes on your textbook. “Did they ever get noise complaints?”
He blinked. “...Noise complaints?”
“Well, if it was late and they were singing outside someone’s window… I bet a lot of people weren’t exactly swooning.”
For a moment, Lilia just stared at you. And then he burst out laughing, so hard he had to wipe a tear from his eye.
“You are either brilliantly teasing me,” he chuckled, “or heartbreakingly naive.”
You smiled at him, not understanding in the slightest.
The final straw came when he invited you for a midnight flight—romantic, intimate, just the two of you soaring above the moon-drenched trees. You screamed with laughter and clung to him the entire way, yelling about how cool it was and how friends like him were the best.
“Friends,” Lilia repeated afterward, voice soft and low as you happily ate the little picnic he’d prepared.
You looked up. “Yeah. I’m lucky to have you.”
He sighed with a small, defeated smile, but his eyes were warm. “The luck,” he murmured, “is all mine, dear.”
I saw you wanted some requests!!
Could I request kissing Idia all over his face? I just feel like it’d be so funny to see his reaction
I hope you have a lovely day!!
idia shroud who’s doomed with lots of kisses.
Idia was losing. Badly. And it wasn’t his fault—it could never be his fault—his teammates were just outright incompetent.
“Seriously? Who runs straight into the enemy’s trap without checking the map first?” he grumbled. “Do they even understand the concept of positioning?”
You were just lying on his chest, your body nestled comfortably against his as you watched him play. Your arms were wrapped around his torso, your face just inches from his, and you hummed a quiet tune to entertain yourself.
You were so close. Too close.
And yet... Idia didn’t mind. In fact, he kind of liked it.
He still couldn’t believe you two were like this now—so close, so comfortable. A year ago, he wouldn’t have even dreamed of letting someone into his room, much less on his bed. But now... it was his favorite thing in the world.
Especially when it was you.
Well, you were always the only exception to him whenever it came to almost anything.
Idia tried to focus on his game, his eyes glued to the screen as his character dodged another poorly timed attack from the enemy. “Are they... are they actually feeding the enemy team?! Oh my Sevens, I’m going to spam report them with all of my accounts.” He let out a dramatic sigh, his hair flickering with frustrated flames.
“Amateurs... all of them.”
“You get so worked up over your games,” you tease, your voice warm and affectionate.
He huffed, his eyes narrowing at the screen. “I-It’s because they’re so bad! I mean, seriously, who rushes into a 1v4 without backup?! Do they even know how to play?!”
You just smiled, your fingers gently tracing patterns on his chest. He wore his teal hoodie, the one you got him just because you can. “You’re cute when you get all frustrated.”
“They’re just... so ugh. It’s like they’ve never played a MOBA before.” His fingers moved with practiced precision, his character launching a series of attacks that wiped out two enemies in quick succession. “See? That’s how you do it. If I weren’t here, they’d be doomed.
You didn’t respond, your eyes still focused on him. Idia’s heart raced when he noticed, his fingers faltering on the controller. You were looking at him with that expression again—that sweet, adoring look that made his stomach burst with butterflies and his mind go blank.
He tried to ignore it, tried to focus on his game, but it was impossible. You were too close, too warm, too... loving.
“Why are you staring at me?”
“You look cute when you’re focused.”
He scoffed, his face heating up. “I don’t look cute. I look serious. Intense. Like a soldier.”
“You’re cute,” you insisted, laughing. “Very cute.”
His heart skipped a beat, his fingers faltering on the controller. He narrowly avoided an incoming ultimate skill, his character’s health dropping dangerously low. “H-Hey, don’t distract me!”
“But it’s fun.”
Idia rolled his eyes, sighing. “You’re supposed to be my co-pilot. Aren’t you supposed to be helping me win?”
“I am helping. I’m boosting your morale.”
He chuckled. “Yeah, right. Some morale boost...”
Before he could say more, you leaned up and pressed a soft kiss to his chin.
Idia’s heart stopped.
His body went rigid, his breath catching in his throat. Your lips were warm and soft, lingering for just a moment before you pulled away as if it was the most common thing to do.
His character died on screen, the revival countdown flashing in bold white numbers. Idia barely noticed, his mind reeling from the sensation of your kiss.
“[Name]...?”
“I told you it was a morale boost.” How could you casually shrug this off?!
Idia stared at you. How did you two get here? How did he get to the point where he was lying on his bed with his girlfriend, cuddling up to him, kissing him like it was the most natural thing in the world?
More importantly, how did he get to the point where he was okay with it? Did he actually want you to be this close?
Your lips brushed his cheek, softer this time, a feather-light touch that sent shivers down his spine. Idia’s breath hitched, his fingers clenching around his controller.
“W-What are you doing?” His voice was embarrassingly weak, his heart pounding in his chest. God, how pathetic he sounded.
You, however, didn’t answer, your lips trailing along his cheekbones. Then you kissed his forehead, his nose, and even the little mole on his temple.
Idia’s hands trembled, his controller slipping from his fingers and falling onto the mattress beside him. His arms instinctively wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer, his body moving on its own.
“I like watching you play,” you admitted quietly. “You get so focused. It’s adorable.”
He groaned, his head falling back against his pillow.
“You’re... evil...”
You laughed. “You’re just realizing that now?”
“You’re worse than players who don’t know how to cast their character’s ultimate combo.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment.” You then leaned in and kissed him again, this time on the corner of his mouth.
His heart was pounding so loudly he was sure you could hear it. You were so, so close now, your face just inches from his.
He swallowed hard. “You’re... really close...”
“Do you want me to move?”
“No.”
“Ok.”
He never thought he’d get to this point—never thought he’d find someone who accepted him, who cared for him, who wanted to be close to him. Someone who could understand him and make him feel as though he deserves to be loved unconditionally.
And yet, here you were, lying in his arms, your warmth seeping into him, your presence filling every corner of his heart.
“I... really like you.”
He likes saying it when he feels as though he needs to say it, which isn’t often, so it holds sentiment and tenderness.
“I like you too, Idia. Really, really like you.”
Idia was doomed. Completely, absolutely, undeniably doomed... and he never wanted to be saved.
SEUMYO © 2025. PLEASE DO NOT REPOST, PLAGIARIZE, MODIFY OR TRANSLATE.
premise. as someone who's always believed in the term “try and try again,” (peak delusion, you know) rooting yourself in their heart has always been your goal, no matter the cold rejections and curt declines you receive. however, even you have your limits; perhaps this little push and pull you two have going isn't worth your time after all... but what happens then, if the chaser becomes the chased? (oh, how the turns have tabled.)
...or, when you play hard to get with them.
— ft. sunday, aventurine, jing yuan.
warnings: angst n fluff, messy messy, these boys are in love but are wayyy too chicken to admit they actually adore you, genderless reader.
a/n. inspired by @/xiaowhore's playing hard to get headcanons! my holy trinity 😇 n MY FAVES RAHHH
NEXT : BACK TO MASTERLIST || ASKBOX
SUNDAY is perplexed. very much aware of his qualities which enlists him as one of the finer (finest) bachelors of Penacony (he was the Robin's one and only blood, and was also the head of one of the main guiding forces of the Family, after all), sunday isn't sure he's ever come across someone as.... tenacious as you.
foolish, to be more precise, for he cannot for the life of him comprehend exactly why you are the way you are with... him.
no matter his respectful declines of your invitations to promenade around Penacony (re: going on dates), you really didn't know how to leave him be. though he hasn't exactly said he hated it, sunday was, admittedly, rather... affronted. your gifts, in particular, were your loud declarations of your affection (that make his wings flutter more rapidly than he'd like); but sunday was rather inconvenienced at the whole thing.
nonetheless, he does still accept them. reluctantly, mind you. not because he was fond of your constant shower of affections, which seemed so permanent that he began to look forward to them got used to it. to your credit, your gifts were very much to his tastes. (Robin once gave him a rather soul-searching look when he found himself wearing the gloves you gifted, light blue and white in color. he still uses it, just not when his sister is in the vicinity.)
in fact, perhaps he may have gotten too comfortable. little by little, your constant intrusions on his time have thawed a way to his heart; making sunday look forward to your jovial greetings and grandeur elaborations on your day, and such a thing makes him feel scared sunday needed to nip this in the bud, and fast.
so he confronts you, abruptly one day as you give him his newest gift—a jewelry box for his earrings. (surely, the rapid thumping of his heart was due to his irritation at your constant persistence, right?) “i'm afraid this can no longer continue. i am flattered by your... fancy for me, but i do not wish to enter a relationship in the near future.”
the utter silence that follows is torture to him—but he endures. he tries not to look at the momentary flash of hurt on your face. you seemed to quickly recover, though. giving him a simple smile (it didn't reach your eyes. it shocks him how his chest ached at the realization) and shaking your head when he returns the gift to you.
“i understand, mr. sunday.” the formal usage of his name instead of your chipper ‘sunday!’ makes his face twitch. “but please, keep the gift. think of this as my last declaration. it... would do me a great comfort, just this last time, if you accepted it instead.”
(if he had grabbed your hand at that moment as you left for the door, would he regret it?)
when you leave, sunday thought it would put the conflicting feelings in his mind at ease—but it doesn't. a week and two days counting, true to your word, sunday receives no flagrant gifts, nor little messages on his phone that tell him to take care of himself, to eat, and to make sure to remember to check up on Robin.
instead, contrary to the feeling of ease, regret follows him instead.
it's at two weeks and five days counting when sunday could no longer stand the sight of papers that stacked atop his desk and the image of you leaving for the door replaying in his head far too many times for him to count, that he contacts Robin.
and she, once hearing about the situation, gives him a very, very enlightening talk. (of course, not without giving her brother a lecture of the lifetime. part of him felt shame to know that his sister knew of his... turbulent love life, but she was the only one who he could trust, anyway).
“absence makes the heart grow fonder,” she says. “but in your case, brother, your heart has already decided it's course, right?”
sunday eyes the smooth velvet of the jewelry box you gifted, ruminating. his earrings lie there, carefully pristine and beautiful, gold and silver intertwined. he has worn them without fail, clean and spotless. (of course it was. such a design so intricate was only chosen by you. the thought makes his ears warm).
the next days are agonizing. vigor renewed and epiphanies well-spent, sunday spends the rest of his time after finishing his duties researching and painstakingly finding the best jeweller he can find (even employing the suggestions of a certain gambler, much to his dislike), and spending a god awful amount of time revisiting and rechecking which spots you like, which places you enjoy, to the point it comes up in Penacony's headlines that sunday is interested in someone.
surely, it should've reached your ears by now, yes? sunday panics. your preferences are well-accounted for, and he's sure the Bloodhound family members that report to him have to tell you that the person he had in mind was you. even Robin, who was your closest friend, has probably told you already.
it's embarrassing to admit, but; to hell with it, the day he meets you after three weeks and sees you having a pleasant chat with aventurine, of all people, sunday thinks his heart had shattered into little pieces and stabbed themselves into his body. not so much as sparing him a glance, moreso.
so when, finally at his wits end, sunday chooses to corner you at the dewlight pavilion and spills out how he has royally screwed up in the worst way possible, no one is surprised. at this rate, you would be swept up in the charms of that wretched gambler, and what sunday lacked in, aventurine more than made up for.
“wait, don't go to that gambler just yet.” he's breathless, he's chaotic—and something in his heart squeezes when you finally look at him. “i... i wish to take up your time now, if that's possible.” (he wishes he would take up your time forever, really, but that was still too early).
you eye his getup. all of your gifts, lined on the man you spent so long chasing after—you see the gloves you gifted, the tie with not so much as a single crease, and the earrings that shine more brightly in the light of the pavilion. (it suits him. like you) it was as if sunday had completely surrendered himself to you, had all but decided to proclaim that he was yours, and this was nothing short of a plea for you to hear him.
“please.” he says. almost begs. “i can't bear not seeing you anymore. allow me to correct such a damning mistake.”
and if you were skeptical, the way sunday looks at you would dispel any doubt you could ever have. (his wings, they were fluttering.)
(months later, after a nerve-ending confession, many days of dinners, shared gifts involving matching jewelry and promenading to your wishes, it dawns on sunday he was absolutely dancing to your tune. did he regret it, though?
....no, most certainly not.)
if AVENTURINE were to be honest with himself, he saw you as a useful “friend” rather than a romantic interest. was it bad of him? of a sort. but risk cutting himself open and letting someone he might grow to care for know about all the ugliness that follows his life? no, he's fine as it is, thanks.
the first thing he notices is that you're kind—though he distrusted most of his colleagues and preferred none to get close to him, aventurine, in some morbid moment of curiosity, instead allowed himself to bask in your attention. instead of curtly disparaging you, he flirts back at your compliments (the way your face heated up in return was far too endearing that he can't help but want to kiss you he finds it amusing) and consistently texts you a “did you get home safe” or a “i bought you this because it reminded me of you”; at this point, it was like you two were dating.
was it leading you on? yes, but he supposes it was a win-win; he could send you those tiny bits of validation that was enough for you to stay respectfully at a distance while he probed at your intentions. unlike others who attempt to garner his favor, you're genuine, and you seriously take the time to know him. because you always text back with hearts, always reassure him, tell him to stay safe and wish him luck at every gamble, every high stakes bet he finds himself in. you even complimented his perfume once (and, if he had to be honest, he could not stop thinking about it all day—because that perfume he commissioned exclusively was based off of your own favorite scents and it was extremely embarrassing that he loved hugging you knowing that you loved the way he smelled and that it felt extremely domestic).
(sometimes, he doesn't reply. for months on end. suddenly the golden-haired man you love goes cold and you know then that aventurine ghosts you and then returns when he's in need of a friend—never a lover. it hurts you, but at the very least, you know he cares in his own way.)
and, if aventurine had to be honest, it was killing him from the inside bit by bit. as if to drive the knife deeper, you never danced around what exactly was going on with you two. you never ask why he ghosts you, then sends you a bundle of gifts all of a sudden and then rapidly spends time with you and repeating the cycle. no, you were consistently by his side, so warm and so caring—so unlike him—that aventurine wonders if it's really all right to open his heart to you.
if, by some chance, he actually wanted to be with you, would you treat him even more sweetly than before? aventurine thinks you would—you were beautiful in your entirety, and he was practically undeserving of you. he imagines himself kissing your hand and having you in his arms—and that feels like ice cold water being dumped onto his head, because you could do so much better and yet, why him?
so when aventurine hears about how a certain doctor was visiting you for some unknown reason, his already fragile sense of security in this little will-they, won't they crumbles.
and when he finds out that you were staying over with ratio? something twisted lodges itself in the little brushes of his heart, coiling and coiling—making him feel green. aventurine is aware you and the doctor are good friends, and ratio was the one who even told you to make a move on him! how could he just—suddenly interrupt?!
(was it dramatic? extremely. but knowing his friend and the person he secretly adores might end up together? you can't really blame him.)
he supposes this can be attributed to him. it was an egregious mistake, a blunder aventurine made—he never gave you a clear sight of whether he truly loved you or not and now you're slipping away from him.
so, he does something very unexpected.
at 3:00 AM in the wee early morning hours, aventurine practically barges into one Dr. veritas ratio's home, demanding what the hell was going on between you. and as if he had expected it, his doctor friend merely gives him a shrug in return.
“perhaps they were simply getting fed up by a certain IPC member—who is clearly head over heels in love with them—giving them mixed signals.” ratio's tone is stern, and aventurine definitely knows that the look he gives him is the one he gives only to fools.
you idiot, the doctor seems to say. yeah, yeah, he is; aventurine ignores the clear pinprick at his dignity.
yes, he supposes he is the fool here. “ah.”
“yes, ‘ah,’ indeed. now, let me propose a question.” the purple-haired man says. “will you react in such a way when i tell you that in order for my friend to stop their anguish, i managed to get them to fraternize with one of my colleagues?”
“...what?”
“they will be having a meet-up seven system hours from now.” ratio shrugs. eyes aventurine, who's looking at him like a gaping, stupid fish. “i can only hope that no one would dare to disrupt.”
...it doesn't take him long to be rid of the gambler by then.
(a few hours later, you stop by the Intelligentsia Guild to see one veritas ratio with a smug smile, eyeing the fur coat draped around your shoulders, and the flushed and happy expression written on your face.
“did it work?” he asks.
you laugh, “splendidly.”
indeed, that gambler was a fool, and there's nothing more than dr. ratio loved than to educate such fools to shape.
“that will teach him.”)
as a quote unquote ‘old man’ who knows that he's well up in his years for a relationship, JING YUAN finds you to be quite amusing.
it doesn't take a detailed analysis to know that you were smitten with him, really. you're a complete open book by his standards—if your heated face and slightly airy voice whenever you were even placed in the same vicinity with the Dozing General was anything to come by. while flattering, he also shares the similar mindset of being too old for any love his way—and he could be mara-struck at any given time, and jing yuan does not wish such a life filled with anguish and pain for the one who may steal his heart. but, worry not, brave suitor of the Arbiter General! unlike the other two above, this man has the experience of millenia, and is open-minded and aware that you truly wish to be perceived as a potential lover.
in fact, jing yuan's recent favorite habit is sneaking off the Seat of Divine Foresight purely to freak you out, watching you scramble up your words, seeing the heat crawl up your nape and bloom all across your face. adorable. you certainly knew how to appeal, that's for sure.
(“heh, it seems i've found a new place to stay in so that the Diviner Fu won't grill me alive when she sees me.”
and when he's rewarded with a bashful and speechless look in return, a smile and your, “i'm glad, general.” it surprisingly lightens up his mood by more than he expected.
that, in turn, gives him a frightening 30% energy boost; fu xuan was utterly shocked to see the languid man actually working and looking like he enjoyed it, for once.
“did something good happen today, jing yuan? why so enthusiastic?”
“i just felt like working more than usual, diviner Fu. i seem to have my energy levels at a high.”)
now, jing yuan is considerate and perceptive first and foremost, so there's a high chance that out of all the men here, he is the most open to giving you the chance to pursue him. he does inform you beforehand that he has no plans of accepting your confessions in the future, and that is where the ‘hard to get’ part comes in.
it's like playing a confusing romance visual novel with a fickle love interest—you never really know what you're doing, whether it's something jing yuan would like or not, and you don't know if he even thinks your attempts are moving his heart. (tldr: he friend zones you).
he maintains the same distance no matter his banters with you, no matter how many times you tell him that you'd help yanqing out with sword lessons. it's like he was just... treating you as he would a friend, and that you were basically stuck in the friend-zone forever.
(he keeps it to himself, but something warm stirs in his chest when he sees yanqing sleeping on your shoulder after training practice, with your arm protectively around the boy's side.
your sleeping face didn't make it easy to look away either; it's one of the few moments in which jing yuan shows just the slightest bit of reciprocating your pursuits; he brushes back the stray hairs covering your face, and drapes a blanket over the two of you.
of course, perhaps to tease yanqing, he also takes the calligraphy brush and makes a work out of his face, doodling all over it.
when you wake up, there's a lingering scent of ink and yellowed paper that fills your senses. when you turn to the boy beside you, you almost giggle out loud.)
it's a little disheartening—and while jing yuan did acknowledge that you were slowly, slowly burrowing yourself in his heart, he doesn't act on it fast enough, and instead lets the realization sit in his mind for a while.
it gets to the point where it feels as though he were preparing to distance himself, and even yanqing had asked if he was well. your visits with the Arbiter General also decrease, as he suddenly buried himself in his work even more than before.
he doesn't get to see you all that much afterwards, despite the lingering feeling of missing you filling his heart.
....that's until jing yuan hears word of a recent mara-struck incident involving the Sky-faring Commission; with your name listed among those heavily injured.
when he visits Bailu's clinic after yanqing urges him, jing yuan takes in the sight of you, littered in injuries from head to toe. your life, about to snap. he never even told you that you won; you did manage to steal his heart and for the first time in a long time, jing yuan allows himself to love.
so if, after three weeks later when you're finally healed up and ready to go, jing yuan brings you into his arms and drags you to let him sleep in your lap, you can't really blame him now, can you?
a/n: i love yearner hsr men,,, might do a pt 2 though. thinking of mayb ratio, jiaoqiu and f/heng next time...... sighs dreamily
@ ICEUNHIE: do not repost translate or plagiarize my works.
I need. Twisted Beastmen and the like. To be more animalistic. Not necessarily like, physically, I don't meant that in the furry sense. I mean that in the 'they're part animal and it'd not just for show' sense.
I want beastmen with claw like nails. Where the cat-like ones tend to walk on their toes when not wearing shoes because it feels right. Where their eyes and pupils reflect the animals that they're partly of. With fangs and teeth appropriate for their species.
Ruggie making laughing noises at the active prospect of food. Whooping when in a fight and needing backup. Lowing when excited for a fight.
Leona roaring to get the whole dorm's attention. Chuffing in greeting at people he considers part of his pride. (He'll sometimes grunt at Cheka like a mother would to her cubs but will deny it.)
Jack barking at danger to warn others and howling to try and figure out where his pack is (he forgets they can't howl back, but Ruggie will sometimes low at him and Yuu definitely tries to howl back.)
I want to see Azul with the tips of his limbs in human form retain some of his octopus natural ability to camouflage. I want to see his hands always moving, grabbing something, holding something. Azul who might not have bones in human form with how flexible he is??
The tweels who aren't very active naturally during the day but get really hyperactive at night. Who bare their teeth at people when excited.
Che'nya who lounges in the sun on lazy days. Who's great at stretching and popping everywhere in his body if he needs to, to a concerning degree.
GIMME FEY WHO DONT ACT HUMAN
Malleus who snorts smoke when he's angry. Malleus who wear gloves because he got claws. Malleus who has a tail and wings outside of his dragon form sometimes.
Lilia who gets just a bit too excited at the prospect of a fight and spilling blood. Who can recognize a person by the smell of their blood. Who makes inhuman noises when too excited and gives off a very eldritch horror kind of vibe if he lets loose.
Sebek who can be found eating rocks sometimes. Who finds quiet in thunder and lightning. Who can move so smoothly and silently you don't know he's there until he opens his maw. Who has a lot of really sharp teeth for someone with a human mouth.
Just- gimme some animal, like, REALISM. PLEASE.
Hello welcome to my little sideblog! I like to write cute YN x Character fanfiction! Maybe when I work up the courage il post them!
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