I never get when people say Soukoku are doomed by the narrative. Like it makes sense in Beast but regular old bsd Soukoku?
The narrative wishes it could doom those idiots but they slot back into place the moment they see each other like no time has passed at all.
If anything the narrative is doomed by them.
ššš
this is me if you even care
'I understand.'
Those are the words that have been on Dick Grayson's wrist since the moment he was born
His parents told him it was most likely going to be said at the end of a long and happy life with his soulmate
When he became Robin, he worried it would be a one time interaction with a citizen before he wasn't able to save them
But when he became Nightwing, he stopped worrying about it and began to live his life to be grateful for all his interactions
He had always asked what everyone's words from their soulmate was when he got close enough to them, having deep conversations with each of them
He was always interested by Alfred's the most. He had two different sets of words on his wrist when everyone else only had one
"It appeared after they had died. A small reminder of the time we had together."
Dick had found that amazing, one would have the reminder of who their person was even after death separated them
At some point after Dick leaving to become Nightwing, Bruce had taken in you in
You had been raised by the Joker after he kidnapped you at the age of 9 to take over as the worst villain of Gotham when he ultimately died
Bruce explained that you had openly denounced the Joker and his views before switching sides
With no other place to go, Bruce had taken you in when you had no place of your own
Even after time had passed, Dick noticed that you didn't spend much time around the other. He never saw you leave the manor except for going on patrol
The most peculiar thing was you had a bandage that went around your wrist where your words were supposed to be
Dick tried starting conversations to get to know you, but you always found a way to get out of them
The most personal thing about you that he could seem to get was these little notebooks you would randomly write in
When he asked about them, you shot him down with a glare
"It's personal, wonder bitch. So back off."
Dick didn't understand why Bruce was still putting up with the same attitude for so long without snapping
He was always told to just give you some space and you would come around when you were finally ready to
Dick never took a liking to how you handled the vigilante business. He thought you weren't focused on keeping the citizens safe and only wanted to make the bad guys hurt more than anything
You always told him to get off your back when he pushed on how you should be more cautious about how to do the job
He started to become frustrated by being around you with how much you pushed back with every word he said, but he still tried to be pleasant
More time had passed and you still didn't really warm up to any of them, but you weren't as hostile with your words
You mostly stuck to your room so you didn't actually have much difference in the previous interactions with everyone
Dick still couldn't shake off the frustration though, no matter how hard he tried to be understanding and polite to you
One day when you had told Dick to 'fuck off to the sewers' after he had accidentally walked into and spilled your drink on your shirt, he was very tempted to yell out as you walked away
Jason quickly stepped in and stopped Dick before he could actually blow up over the attitude you kept displaying
"Dick, you don't entirely understand-"
"That shouldn't matter! They keep acting like-!"
"Like The Joker has raised them to think in a way of 'be useful or you will be killed'. We don't know what he could have done for all those years. We don't even know what life was like before Joker forced his way into the picture. Not everyone was born into loving families. Remember that."
Dick had tried to take Jason's words into consideration as the next few months progressed
You never expressed any form of appreciation to what Bruce or Alfred seemed to do for you. You would mostly just spend time alone around the manor, occasionally sitting around with Jason
The only time Dick seemed to see you express any emotion was when you would randomly write in the notebooks before putting it back in your pocket
Frustration and agitation kept getting bottled up the longer Dick watched the whole situation continue on
It was getting close to a big bust on some plan a couple of the villains had joined together for temporarily to make it successful
It was the end of patrol as Bruce was explaining what everyone's job was going to be for the following night so they could prepare themselves throughout the day
Bruce had mentioned that Damian would be working alongside Jason, and you had mumbled some comment about that
Dick had finally had enough as he looked over and asked what the problem was
You rolled your eyes before saying that Damian wouldn't be able to handle himself with the combined strength everyone would be against with everyone stretched so thin
Dick pushed as he argued that Damian had taken care of himself in worst situations and you should mind what you were claiming about them
Bruce tried to to get the both of you to calm down, but Dick kept pushing as he argued you didn't really know them or what they could do
You clenched your fist while arguing that the precious boy wonder didn't even have a full understanding of what the criminals of the city were actually capable of
Dick finally felt his anger reach the boiling point as be finally began yelling at you
It soon became a screaming match as Jason held Dick back while Bruce got between the two of you as Tim guided Damian out of the area
The anger kept getting worse for Dick as he was finally letting out all the pent up feelings from the past few months of watching you push back against everyone
"This way of thinking is going to be what gets you killed! And when it finally catches up to you, I'm not going to feel sorry for you dying!"
You suddenly become very silent as you just stare at Dick with a deep glare as Bruce raises his voice to make Dick calm himself down
"I understand." The venom is in your voice as you turn around and march out of the Batcave
Dick doesn't truly register the words as he and Bruce start to get in it about how Dick went too far and would need to apologize
Dick huffs as he pulled out of Jason's hold before walking off to go to his room to get some rest
As he walked through the manor, Dick saw Tim and Damian both waiting for him with confused look as they asked what happened
Dick assured them it was nothing they needed to worry themselves with before going to his room
Dick was surprised that you hadn't tried making the day hard for him in retaliation of what was all said
Your door had never opened an inch though the whole day after the fight had happened
The day was eerily calm in a way that made Dick slowly begin to regret what was said. He knew Bruce was right about apologizing, but decided the anger might make you focus on getting the job done and would talk to you tomorrow when patrol was done
Night had come and Bruce had changed the groups so Dick was with Tim while you paired up with Jason
Damian had said he didn't want to be on the mission due to an important test the next day he needed to pass, though everyone was certain it was a lie
No one argued as they got ready for the fight that was going to come before going to the streets of Gotham
The bust had gone down at midnight as everyone had fought to take down as many people they could with the minimum getting away
Everyone had a few scratches as they all helped get the criminals in the transport
Bruce was talking with Gordon when Dick noticed you standing a ways off from everyone else looking confused for some reason
He began to slowly walk over with the intention of apologizing with all the anger and adrenaline slowly fading
The ground shook as Killer Croc suddenly appeared while getting between you and everyone else
None of them could stop it as you got hit and went flying in the air
Dick went to try and subdue Killer Croc before getting hit back into the wall
He felt a pain in his wrist as his arm hit the bricks as the sound of shattered glass sounded from the building you got thrown through
Bruce and Jason were able to get Killer Croc subdued as Tim went over to Dick to make sure he was fine
Dick quickly brushed off the pain in his arm, saying he was fine as he went to the building with the shattered window to go and check on you
He saw you at the far end of the room with your back to him. Dick called out asking if you were okay as he cautiously stepped inside
He thought you were in a daze when you didn't respond. Being mindful of the glass, Dick kneeled down as he placed his hand on your shoulder
"I know you're mad, but this isn't fun-"
The words escape him as he gently pulled you onto your back. Your head still facing the direction you had landed in as the rest only turned slightly with the effort
Dick could only stare for a minute before his hand went to hold the cheek pressed against the floor
The small cracking of your neck that came when he turned your head made Dick's stomach churn
Small pieces of glass stuck out of your skin as your unfocused eyes stared at the ceiling now. A trail of blood flowing down your cheek from your barely parted lips
Dick had to stop himself from throwing up as he got back up and walked into the street
Dick held Tim back when he tried to go in and check on you. When asked what was wrong, Dick could only shake his head as Bruce came up to them
Dick could barely register anything as he watched them put the gurney you were on in the back of the medical examiner's van
They all got promised your body would be treated with the upmost respect until the time for your burial
The journey back was quiet as everyone processed what happened to you when they had thought it was safe
Dick had went to go take a shower to wash of the pressure he felt in his hands from where he had touched your body
He noticed the blood on his wrist when he had removed his shirt in the bathroom
He rinsed a rag with cold water before wiping the blood away to find a sight that made his blood run cold
'This way of thinking is going to be what gets you killed! And when it finally catches up to you, I'm not going to feel sorry for you dying!'
'I understand.'
The words looked like they had just been carved into his wrist with how fresh the new words appeared and the small bit of blood still seeping out of his skin
His thoughts went back to the fight when he had hit the wall. His arm didn't hurt because he was smacked into the wall
It had hurt because that was the moment you had died
Dick couldn't think of who he could confide in with this sudden news. Especially because he had been so cruel to you when you last spoke to one another
How could he have been so cruel to not even think of apologizing before the mission? The last think he said was how he wouldn't care if you died
But you had always known it would be that cruel. You were born with those careless shouts as a mockery on your skin since the first cry
While he grew up with thoughts of comfort over what he might have with his soulmate, you never got that when you saw those words
You had grown up in a world of torture by the hands of one of the cruelest men in all of Gotham, and his words couldn't even give you a sense of comfort over the torturous treatment you went through
It had been a couple of weeks since you had tragically passed away, and Dick found himself in the doorway of your room
He didn't know why he was even here, what he would even try to find, but he was there
The room didn't have too many decorations around as he went in, as if you never tried to find your own style
The clothes in the drawers and closet were like taunts as he touched the fabric (most were soft, so he figured that was a texture you liked)
A candle in your nightstand drawer had never been lit, but the cap had been repeatedly removed (he found that it smelled like flowers during a rainstorm. You must have liked that kind of smell)
There were a few books on the small desk you had with a handful of notes and letters scattered around (it looked like you had been trying to catch up on the education you missed out on)
After some time of looking around, Dick sat at the foot of the bed. He quickly realized something was wrong when his weight pressed on the mattress
He untucked the covers (why would you have been so neat with making the bed?) to find that a small section of the padding had been cut out from a small hole in the bottom
Dick reached his hand in to find the hiding spot of all the small notebook you had written in
He slowly flipped through the pages as he read the neat handwriting that you had
Alfred made a different kind of cookie today. I really like this kind
Jason and I watched a documentary on dinosaurs. The raptors seem the coolest
I glanced at the moon during patrol last night. It was the cresent phase. I think I like that one most
The more Dick looked through them, the more he realized you were distant because you were realizing things about yourself. You were figuring out years of information in such short time, you were probably getting overwhelmed with all this information you were learning
His eyes stop on one small bit you had written, his eyes softening as he kept rereading the words
Dick randomly started laughing today. It sounds nice
You had thought his laugh was nice? Dick didn't even think you paid attention to anything he had done while living in the manor
He kept flipping through each different notebook before he stop on the latest one you had written in
His fingers flipped through to the last pages, expecting to see words of anger and hatred on the paper before him
Dick's my soulmate. I felt my wrist burn when he yelled at me and I just knew without having to seeing what I said appear on my skin. I know I'm going to die tonight.
Dick swallowed the lump in his throat as he thought of what could have went through your mind the exact moment it happened. His fingers carefully flipping to the next page as he kept reading
I don't know what's going to happen with the mission tonight, but I know it's going to be my last. Who knows? Maybe I'll be careless just like Dick always said.
Tears began to form in his eyes as he remembered the confused look on your face after the fight had ended. You had died when everyone was supposed to have been okay and you were confused you were alive after the main fight
I hope to whatever type of god that is out there at Dick never finds these before someone else. I know he had every right to say those things, but I don't want him knowing that I knew I was going to be killed. I was an ass and was given nothing but patience from everyone else. I know he will figure out what we were when I die, but I hope that he doesn't blame himself for what will happen. He had no way of knowing just how much it had hurt to actually hear those words. I hope he lives his life like he always had before.
The tears spilled own his cheeks as he closed the book and held it to his head
Everything after that was just blank pages. You still had over half the pages to keep writing in
Dick felt broken as he took in the feeling you had written out clear as day
He had caused so much hurt in your life before even knowing you
His hands clenched around the cover as he allowed himself to cry. In all the realities of how the end could have happened, this was the worst
The was never a mutual understanding, no form of chemistry like he hoped, not even a split second meeting
All that was there was frustration and hurtful words that could never be taken back
But what hurt the most was that your words to him had never been more truthful compared to anything said to him. You didn't blame him for the anger or even lash back out at him
Because deep down, that was the person that you truly were despite everything
You understood
here we go again ā¹ļøš«
so I got into grad school today with my shitty 2.8 gpa and the moral of the story is reblog those good luck posts for the love of god
Idia is the type of guy who makes you a customized egg timer bc you mentioned you overcooked ur egg this morning
pairing ā star player! gojo x broke artist! reader
summary : satoru gojo is many thingsābasketball star player, campus menace, objectively the best-looking guy in any roomābut he is not a model. so when you, some quiet, intense art student, shove a flyer in his face and ask him to pose for a painting, his first instinct is to laugh. his second instinct is to say no.
itās supposed to be easy money. sit still, look pretty, collect cash. but between your infuriating perfectionism, your absolute refusal to be flustered by him, and the way you stare like youāre trying to figure him out, satoru starts to suspect heās in way over his head
tags ā> one shot, 22k wc, university au, oblivious mutual pining, slow burn, idiots to friends(?) to lovers, banter, fluff, light angst, first kisses, reader has questionable financial priorities
playlist | other works here.
satoru hates being late.
heās not a model student, not by a long shot, but failing a long quiz because a horde of fan girls blocked his way to class? unforgivable. he was so close to making it in time, tooāif only he hadnāt stopped to sign that last autograph. normally, heād brush it off, but this wasnāt just any quizāthis was for a professor who already had it out for him. if he fails even one subject, the coach might force him to take a break from the team to focus on his studies, even if he was their star player.
he thrives on attention, okay? whatās the point of being their university's star player if he canāt bask in the privelege and the fame? that last game was legendaryāhe clutched the final shot, the crowd went insane, and now half the campus is screaming his name. still, if he gets benched over grades, that win wonāt mean a damn thing.
now, heās sulking on a campus bench, spinning his phone between his fingers, wondering how hard his professor is going to roast him next lecture. probably a lot. maybe enough to make him consider actually studying. his teammates will be insufferable about it, especially suguru.
and then, like a gift from the universe, you show up.
āexcuse me.ā
he barely glances up. heās still bitter. still annoyed. but when he finally does lookāoh, he knows your type. wide-eyed, a little nervous, clutching a sketchbook like itās a lifeline, like it holds something more important than just paper and ink. he bets youāre about to ask for a selfie, or his number, orā
āi need you to model for me.ā
his head tilts slightly, brow arching in lazy amusement. huh?
he waits for the punchline, but you only stare, unwavering. thereās something unnerving about your gazeānot shy, not desperate, just⦠intent. like youāve already decided something, and his answer doesnāt matter. then, as if confirming it to yourself, you give a small, determined nod. āyeah. youāre perfect.ā
his lips twitch, the ego in him flaring up instantly. āobviously.ā
āso youāll do it?ā you lean in, hopeful, hands gripping the edges of your sketchbook like itās anchoring you.
āobviously not.ā he leans back instead, stretching an arm along the back of the bench, his smirk turning sharp. ālisten, i know iām pretty, but iām not that easy.ā
your expression shifts, a flicker of something unreadableāthen, with a breath, you square your shoulders. āiāll pay you.ā
he barks out a short laugh, blue eyes gleaming with amusement. āoh? and whatās my going rate, then?ā
without hesitation, you pull out a flyer from your bag, movements quick and businesslike. āi have an hourly rate. cash upfront.ā
he plucks the paper from your hands, more entertained than anything, scanning it with a smirk. this is, without a doubt, the most absurd thing to happen to him all day (and thatās saying something). youāre actually serious. actually offering him money to sit still and look pretty.
you must be so down bad.
āsorry, sweetheart,ā he drawls, handing it back lazily. ābut iām a busy man. canāt waste my precious time sitting around just so you can stare at me.ā
he expects you to stammer, to get flustered and retreat. most people would.
thereās a pause, thick with hesitation, before you finally speakālike youāre pulling the words from somewhere deep, somewhere you donāt usually let people see.
āhold still,ā you murmur, more to yourself than to him. your gaze moves over his face with the kind of scrutiny that makes people uncomfortable, but satoru doesnāt squirmāhe preens under it, smirks like heās used to being admired. but thatās not what this is.
your eyes narrow slightly, head tilting. āyour features are sharp, but not harsh. the lines of your faceāā you trail off, thoughtful. āthey flow too well. itās almost unnatural.ā
he blinks. āuh. thanks?ā
you ignore him, scanning lower. āyour collarbones frame the composition perfectly. and your handsā¦ā your gaze flickers to them, fingers twitching against your sketchbook. ādeliberate. expressive.ā
his brows lift. āyouāre checking me out.ā he accuses, tone dripping with amusement.
āiām analyzing your composition.ā your voice is absentminded, matter-of-fact. youāre still staring, still studying, like heās some kind of divine anomaly.
and maybe he is.
satoru should be smug about this. should be teasing you. but thereās something about the way youāre looking at himāserious, unwavering, like youāve seen something no one else has. something not even he knows how to name.
his smirk falters, just slightly. āā¦so?ā
āso,ā you say, straightening, gripping your sketchbook tighter. āi need to paint you.ā
not want. need.
and for the first time in a long time, satoru gojo is left without a clever comeback. becauseāokay. wow. that was a lot.
for the first time, he actually looks at you, really looks at you. and thereās no hint of deception in your expression, no underlying flirtation. your eyesāburning with something too raw, too genuineāthrow him off completely.
āsounds like youāre obsessed with me.ā he tries, aiming for his usual brand of cocky. but itās weaker this time. a little off.
āiām obsessed with getting my pieces right,ā you counter, and it lands like a challenge. your voice doesnāt waver, steady in a way that makes his smirk twitch. āiāll even raise your pay.ā
his smirk falters for half a second. āyeah?ā
āiāā you hesitate, fingers tightening around your sketchbook, knuckles pale from the pressure. āi can go up to⦠ten bucks per session. upfront.ā
he snorts. āsweetheart, do i look like a discount model to you? you want me to sit still for hours, meāan in-demand athlete, a social necessity at every party, the backbone of this schoolās sports programāfor a measly ten?ā he leans back, draping an arm over the bench like heās getting comfortable for a long negotiation. āat least pretend to respect my market value.ā
you exhale sharply, visibly weighing your options, then straighten with new resolve. āfine. twenty-five bucks per session. i can push to fourty, but you have to commit to at least three sittings.ā
he opens his mouth to refuseājust for the drama of it, just to watch you scramble for a better offerābut then he hesitates.
and he sees it.
the way your fingers tighten around your sketchbook, the way your shoulders hold a quiet, unyielding tension. the way your eyes stay locked onto him, not with admiration, not with infatuation, but with something deeper, something urgent. thereās a pull in them, a quiet desperationānot for him, not for his attention, but for the shape of him, the angles of him, the way light bends and softens around the sharp edges of his face. he realizes, with a strange flicker of something he canāt name, that you arenāt begging himāyouāre needing him.
ā¦ugh.
satoru groans, throwing his head back dramatically, hands flopping uselessly onto the bench like the universe has personally inconvenienced him. āyouāre not gonna let this go, are you?ā
ānope.ā your jaw sets, firm, unwavering.
a sigh. a pause. a moment of self-reflection where he briefly considers if the extra cash is worth sacrificing his free timeāhis parties, his practices, the worship of a school that already thinks heās untouchable.
thenāhe grins, sharp and easy, like heās the one whoās won something here. āalright, mystery artist. iāll be your muse.ā
he leans in, cocky and insufferable, but thereās something new behind it nowāa flicker of intrigue, the curiosity of a man who knows heās irresistible but has never quite been needed like this before. ābut only because iām feeling generous.ā
the next day later, satoru reminds himselfāfirmlyānot to let this happen again. he should have held out longer, should have played hard to get, should have, at the very least, haggled for more cash. but no, he let himself get swept up in whatever this was, in your weird little artist intensity, and now heās sitting on a questionably stable stool in the middle of your cozy, cluttered studio space. regretting. just a little.
your āstudioā is barely more than a corner of your dorm room, wedged by the window where the light slants in at an annoyingly aesthetic angle. the floor is a battlefield of abandoned sketchbooks and paint tubes, half-squeezed and discarded like fallen soldiers. unfinished canvases lean against the walls in various stages of completionāsome just rough sketches, others hauntingly close to done but left untouched, as if you lost interest mid-stroke. itās clean and chaotic all at once, the strange contrast between the precisely arranged brushesālined up by size, bristles all facing the same wayāand the paint-stained rags draped carelessly over the back of your chair. the room smells like turpentine and old paper, sharp and familiar, like stepping into the mind of someone who never really stops thinking.
he should be boredābut heās not.
āshoes off.ā you say the moment he steps inside, not even looking up as you sort through your supplies.
satoru stops mid-step, blinking. his latest purchaseāsome limited-edition basketball sneakers, bought with the last of his cash prize from securing mvp last season, the sheer reason why he is broke right now to be here in the first placeāsuddenly feel heavier on his feet. his gaze flicks from you to the floor, then back again, a slow, deliberate movement as if testing whether youāre serious.
āseriously?ā he drawls, shifting his weight.
āyes.ā
āwhat, afraid Iāll track in dirt?ā he tilts his head, smirk lazy, but his fingers hook around the back of his shoes, already anticipating your answer.
āno, i just donāt want you stepping in paint and crying about your expensive sneakers.ā you finally glance up, eyes flickering to the telltale logo on the side of his shoes. thereās no mockery in your tone, just detached amusement, but he still bristles slightlyāmaybe because youāve already figured him out so easily.
satoru exhales, exaggerated and put-upon, before kicking them off with a bit more force than necessary. the shoes land haphazardly by the door, slightly askew, pristine against the chaos of your floor. ā...fine. but I better not step on a thumbtack and die.ā
ānoted.ā you murmur, already moving on.
he takes in the room as he tugs at the hem of his hoodie, adjusting it. the space is a contradictionāsmall, but alive, every inch used with an artistās careless precision. tubes of paint lie scattered like relics of past battles, pages of half-formed sketches peek from beneath stacks of books, and the air smells sharpāturpentine, charcoal dust, something faintly citrusy, probably from the cup of tea cooling by your desk. he should be unimpressed, but his gaze keeps getting caught on the little detailsāthe careful arrangement of brushes, the single paint-smeared rag draped over your chair, the faint blue smudge on the back of your wrist.
"sit here." you drag a wooden stool into the light, the scrape of its legs against the floor cutting through the quiet.
his eyes narrow. āthis thing gonna hold up?ā
āunless you plan on moving around like a child, yes.ā
satoru hums, unimpressed but intrigued, tapping two fingers against his thigh before finally dropping onto the stool. his posture is lazy, all careless sprawl and long limbs, arms hanging over the backrest like heās got all the time in the world.
you click your tongue, stepping closer. āsit up straight.ā
he sinks even lower, stretching his legs out in front of him. ābut I like this angle. mysterious. brooding. like I have a dark past.ā
you donāt even hesitate. āit looks like you have scoliosis.ā
he barks out a laugh, sharp and genuine, teeth flashing under the dim light. āmaybe that is my dark past.ā
āfix your posture.ā
satoru sighs, rolling his shoulders backābut not enough. you click your tongue, unimpressed, and before he can react, your hands are on him, firm but careful, adjusting his posture with practiced ease. your fingers press lightly against his upper back, trailing down to nudge at his shoulder blades, guiding him straighter. clinical, detached, nothing more than necessity. but he still goes still, something unreadable flickering behind his eyes.
your hands are cool against his skin, grounding in a way he doesnāt expect. for the first time, he realizes youāre really looking at himānot like most people do, with admiration, envy, or that desperate need to impress. no, you look at him like heās a problem to solve, a subject to study, something to be rendered on paper in strokes and shadows. he should say somethingāflirt, tease, break the moment before it turns into something elseābut the words sit strangely in his mouth. and then youāre already pulling away, back to your desk, already moving on.
"good," you murmur, reaching for a pencil amid the mess of supplies. you donāt sound satisfied, exactlyājust focused, as if his presence in your studio is nothing more than another detail to get right. then, after a beat, you look up again, really look at him, and say, ādonāt move.ā
satoru smirks, tilting his head just enough for his bangs to shift, casting a fleeting shadow over his eyes. āno promises.ā
you exhale sharply, shaking your head as you adjust the angle of your easel. the wooden frame creaks as you tighten a knob, movements brisk, preciseālike you donāt have the patience for his nonsense today. ārelax your shoulders.ā
he spreads his hands, a lazy, exaggerated gesture, his varsity jacket slipping slightly off one shoulder. āmy shoulders are relaxed.ā
you glance up, unimpressed. āyou look like youāre trying to fight god.ā
āthatās just my natural aura.ā
your hand pauses over your palette, fingers hovering just above the tubes of paint. thenāa twitch. fleeting. almost imperceptible. but he sees it, the tiny, reluctant quirk of your lips, and his eyes glint with amusement.
āwas that a smile?ā satoru's grin is all teeth, sharp and victorious, as he leans forward, resting his forearm on his knee. āare you falling for me already?ā
you donāt even bother looking up as you squeeze out a streak of cadmium red onto your palette. āi was smiling at the thought of shoving you off that stool.ā
he lets out a low chuckle, leaning back again, hands bracing the edge of the seat as if testing its limits. āthatās fair.ā
acrylic meets oil in a slow swirl, the colors blending as you mix with deliberate strokes. outside, the sun shifts, casting golden streaks through the dusty windowpanes, dappling his profile in warm light. he watches you in the silence that follows, something unspoken settling between the brushstrokes and banter.
and thatās how the first session goesāhim trying to be difficult, you trying to make him less difficult.
but somewhere between the banter, the occasional begrudging moments of stillness, and the quiet scratch of pencil against paper, something shifts.
at first, heās just counting down the minutes until he gets paid, watching the clock, tapping his fingers idly against his knee. but then, he starts watching you instead.
satoru notices the way your brow furrows in concentration, the way your fingers hesitate before committing to a line, the way your teeth graze your bottom lip when something isnāt turning out right. thereās a softness to you when you work, an intensity that feels different from how people usually look at him. no awe, no expectationājust a quiet, unwavering focus, like heās something worth capturing.
he should be bored. this kind of thing isnāt for himāsitting still, staying quiet, being studied like some museum exhibit. but heās not. instead he is interested.
not by the painting itselfāhe still doesnāt get the whole āartā thing, still doesnāt see why people obsess over lines and colors and whatever meaning they think is hidden beneath. but he gets this. gets the way you treat it like it matters, like itās something real, something worth your time.
so he keeps coming back.
SPRING bleeds into familiarity as summer approaches. the air carries the scent of sun-warmed pavement and freshly cut grass, the kind of early heat that settles into your skin before you even realize it. days stretch longer, the sunsets grow richer, but in this quiet, in the hush between afternoon and evening, itās routine nowāas natural as practice drills, as effortless as muscle memory.
the soft scratch of pencil against paper, the faint drag of graphite as you sketch his form for the hundredth time. the way you chew on the inside of your cheek when you concentrate, brows furrowing in that particular way that means youāre unhappy with a line. the way satoru makes a grand show of complaining, of stretching obnoxiously, of sighing like heās been sentenced to something far worse than sitting still for an hourābut he always shows up anyway.
āthis is cruel and unusual punishment.ā satoru groans, slumping back in the chair like the very act of modeling is siphoning the life out of him. his long legs sprawl out, one foot tapping idly against the floor, an unconscious rhythm that betrays his restlessness. strands of white hair fall messily over his forehead, catching in the afternoon light, but he makes no move to fix them. instead, he tilts his head back dramatically, like a man resigned to his fate, letting out a sigh so deep it should echo through the room.
āyouāre literally getting paid.ā you remind him, tilting your head, adjusting the angle of your sketch with a practiced flick of your wrist. your voice is steady, patient, but thereās a weight to itāa quiet exasperation that makes the corners of his mouth twitch.
the soft scratch of pencil against paper fills the space between you, a contrast to his theatrics. your fingers move with precision, thumb smudging a shadow, expression unreadable as your gaze flickers over him like youāre dissecting every line and curve.
āat what cost?ā satoru presses, shifting slightly in his seat, the chair creaking beneath his weight. his arms drape lazily over the armrests, fingers tapping against the woodāanything to keep himself occupied. his restlessness isnāt feigned; heās never been the type to sit still, and the urge to move tugs at his muscles like an itch he canāt scratch. but he waits, because the way you sketchābrows furrowed, lower lip caught just slightly between your teethāhas him more intrigued than he wants to admit.
āat the cost of you shutting up for five minutes.ā
ābold of you to assume iām capable of that.ā
his eyes flick toward you, sharp and searching, waiting for the reaction he knows is coming. for a moment, youāre still, the only movement the subtle shift of your fingers against the page. thenāyour lips twitch, the barest ghost of amusement, before you catch yourself and shake your head, returning to your work. satoru leans forward just slightly, just enough for the smallest smirk to pull at his lips, because he saw itāsaw the way you almost gave ināand he counts that as a win.
you start talking more.
not just the usual corrections or critiques, but moreāabout your process, your ideas, the frustration of trying to capture his proportions because āseriously, satoru, why are your legs so stupidly long?ā
ācanāt help that iām perfect, sweetheart.ā he says, flashing a grin, stretching in his seat like heās on display. his limbs sprawl out with practiced ease, one arm draped over the back of the chair, the other lazily resting against his knee.
āyouāre built like a faulty character model,ā you mutter, erasing a line with more force than necessary. your brows pinch together, irritation bleeding into your strokes, and satoru watches the way your lips press into a thin line, your focus so sharp it almost cuts.
āso you admit i look unreal.ā satoru says smugly, tipping his head to the side, silver strands slipping over the curve of his cheekbone.
you exhale through your nose, controlled and measured, but he catches the slight twitch in your jaw. āyes, satoru. thatās exactly what i meant.ā
his grin spreads wider, pleased and easy, tapping his fingers idly against his knee in a steady rhythm. youāre getting used to him nowāthe sarcasm, the running commentary, the way he moves like he owns the space around him. you roll your eyes less, sigh less, even smirk sometimesātiny, almost imperceptible, but he catches it every time, cataloging each one like a victory.
he starts talking more, too.
about his classes, about basketball, about how he wasnāt late to his quiz this time because he jumped out a window to avoid his fan girls. he says it so casually, like itās just another tuesday, like itās not the most absurd thing youāve ever heard.
āyou jumped out a window?ā you ask, blinking, your pencil hovering mid-stroke. your brows pinch slightly, lips parting like youāre trying to process the sheer idiocy of it.
ālisten, it was a short fall.ā
thereās a beat of silenceājust enough for him to catch the way your eyes flick over his face, searching for any sign of exaggeration. his smirk is lazy, easy, like heās waiting to see if youāll scold him for it.
and then you laugh.
itās sudden, unfiltered, slipping past your lips before you can catch it. breathless, a little incredulous, like even you canāt believe heās that ridiculous.
he wasnāt expecting that.
itās not like you never laughāyou do, just not at him. not like this, not in a way that feels so real, so genuine, soāunfair. it hits him square in the chest, something sharp and electric threading through his ribs, like a perfectly aimed free throw sinking straight through the net.
āoh my god,ā you say, shaking your head, still grinning. āyouāre actually ridiculous.ā
āthank you,ā he says, flashing a smug grin, because he made you laugh.
and thatās the first time he realizes he likes your laugh.
so he starts playing it like a gameāhow many times can he make you laugh in one session? how many times can he distract you before you start scolding him? itās almost too easy, the way you fall into the rhythm of his teasing, the way your lips press together like youāre fighting back a smile even when youāre glaring at him. he takes it as a challenge, a personal mission to pull a reaction out of you, to chip away at your stubborn focus just enough to make you crack.
āhey, what if you sketched me mid-dunk? you know, capture my essenceāā satoru leans forward, gesturing dramatically, his white hair falling into his eyes.
āsit still.ā you mutter, not even looking up, but he catches the way your brow furrows just slightly, the way you grip your pencil a little tighter.
ābut imagine the drama! the movement! the raw athleticismāā he babbles, spreading his arms wide as if to showcase the sheer grandeur of his idea.
āsit still or iām deducting your pay.ā your voice is flat, but the way your eyes flicker toward himājust for a secondātells him youāre at least half-listening.
ācold.ā he pouts, slumping back into the chair, but his grin never wavers.
sometimes, when youāre too absorbed in your work, he shifts in his seat just to see if youāll notice. a tiny movement, barely anythingābut your head always snaps up, your gaze sharp, the slightest exasperation flickering in your expression. āstop that,ā youāll say, and heāll throw his hands up in mock innocence, feigning surprise. itās stupid, really, but he likes it.
(he starts winning. he always wins.)
but somewhere along the way, he starts losing, too.
because he catches himself watching you between poses.
satoru catches himself noticing things he shouldnātāthe way you tuck your brush behind your ear when your hands are full, leaving a faint streak of graphite on your temple. the way your sleeves are always smudged with paint, like youāve been too caught up in your work to care. the way your fingers twitch when you talk, tracing invisible shapes in the air, like you want to sketch your thoughts into existence. itās the little things, the ones that slip through the cracks when he isnāt paying attentionāexcept he is, now, and he doesnāt know when that started.
catches himself waiting for your sessions.
it sneaks up on himāslow, creeping, like a game he didn't realize he was playing until he was already losing.
one moment, itās just a side gig, a funny little arrangement, an easy paycheck. another, itās something else entirely, something that lingers in his mind longer than it should.
because sometimesāwhich is already a lotāwhen he steps onto the court, ball tucked under his arm, the first thing he wonders isnāt about the game, but whether youāll be sketching from the bleachers. sometimes, when he sees something stupidly prettyāthe golden slant of light cutting across the gym floor, a perfect shot arcing through the net, the weightless seconds before it sinksāhe thinks, youād know how to capture this.
sometimes, when youāre concentrating, when your brows pull together, when your lips part just slightly in thought, when your whole world narrows to the page in front of you, he thinksāhe doesnāt finish that thought. because itās just routine, right? just the same way he looks forward to practice, to games, to winning.
itās nothing more than that.
right?
but then, it starts happeningāsubtle at first, easy to dismiss. a text invitation left on read, a half-hearted āmaybeā in response to a party heād normally say āhell yeah!ā to.
itās a gradual shift, barely noticeable at firstāuntil it is. until suguru eyes him from across the court, spinning a basketball on his fingertips, gaze sharp and knowing.
āyou skipping out?ā suguru asks one afternoon, his tone casual, but the way he watches satoru says he already knows the answer. ābig party tonight. everyoneās going.ā
āgot plans.ā satoru says easily, crouching to tie his laces, fingers tugging the knots tight like heās sealing the conversation shut.
suguru bounces the ball once, catching it smoothly. āsince when do you have plans that donāt involve getting wasted?ā
satoru straightens, rolling his shoulders until they pop, shaking out his arms like heās gearing up for something. his hair is a mess of white strands falling over his forehead, a little damp from practice, but he doesnāt bother fixing it. instead, he flashes a smirk, weight shifting easily onto one foot. āiām broadening my horizons.ā
suguru snorts, spinning the ball in his hands. āyeah? whatās her name?ā
satoru flicks his wrist, and before suguru can react, his hand snaps out to intercept the ball satoru just stole from him, catching it last second. suguru narrows his eyes, unimpressed. satoru just grins, rocking back on his heels, the picture of insufferable ease. āshut up.ā
he tells himself itās not a big deal. heās just picking his battles, choosing his nights, being selective.
but then, one evening, his phone buzzes with an inviteāexclusive rooftop party, vip only, the kind of thing that wouldāve had him saying āhell yeahā months ago. the kind of thing he used to crave, to thrive in, all flashing lights and endless noise, a crowd that could never quite keep up.
instead, he glances at the time, sees that your session starts in half an hour, and swipes the notification away without a second thought.
he doesnāt even hesitate.
SUMMER arrives with a vengeance. springās fleeting softness is long gone, replaced by air thick with humidity, pavement hot enough to sizzle, and days that stretch into slow, languid eternity. campus, once alive with restless energy, now feels like an echo of itselfāhalf-abandoned dorms, quiet hallways, the distant hum of cicadas filling the silence. no fan club lurking outside his lectures, no teammates calling his name across the quad. just heat, stillness, and a lot of free time.
satoru gojo is losing his mind.
your dorm is somehow even worse than outside, the air stifling, unmoving, dense with trapped summer heat. the pathetic excuse for a fan in the corner barely stirs the air, its dull hum doing nothing to ease the sweat clinging to his skin. heās slouched in a chair, legs stretched out, head tilted back dramatically as he groans to no one in particular.
āthis is inhumane,ā satoru whines, shifting again, the fabric of his jersey clinging uncomfortably to his skin. his arm drapes lazily over his forehead, white bangs damp with sweat, eyes half-lidded in a show of exaggerated suffering. āyou canāt expect a man to look this good while melting, yāknow.ā
āsatoru, i swear to god, if you move one more timeāā you mutter, not looking up from your easel, brush moving in slow, deliberate strokes. thereās a tension in your shoulders, one he recognizes by nowāfocused, immersed, determined to ignore him.
he cracks an eye open, a lazy smirk tugging at his lips. āyouāll what?ā he drawls, voice syrupy with amusement. āpaint me uglier?ā
you donāt dignify that with a response, just exhale through your nose and keep working.
itās been months since you first hired him, and somewhere between his insufferable attitude and your exasperated sighs, something shifted. something settled. something... comfortable.
satoru is still impossibleānever quiet, never fully still, always testing limits. but youāre used to him now, the same way youāre used to the hum of your fan or the scratch of your brush against canvas.
and heās used to you, too.
he knows you never play music while you work (insane). he knows you paint in layers, slow and methodical, as if each stroke is a commitment too big to rush. he knows you hate when people hover over your shoulderābut for some reason, you let him stay.
so he stays.
āremind me why weāre even in the dorms right now?ā satoru complains, flopping back onto your bed without permission, limbs splaying like he owns the place.
ābecause itās a hassle to go home.ā you murmur, brush dragging against the canvas, expression unreadable.
āyou say that like normal people wouldnāt want a break from all this,ā he gestures vaguely, letting his hand fall limply onto his stomach.
āi donāt like breaks,ā you say simply, not bothering to look at him. ābreaks mean i stop making things.ā
he squints at you, the weight of your words settling in his chest. it sounds like a joke, but itās not. and just like that, something clicks. maybe youāre here for the same reason he is. not because you have nowhere to go. but because being here is easier than being somewhere else.
he doesnāt say anything. just shifts further onto your bed, limbs sprawling even wider, purely out of pettiness.
the sheets beneath him smell like youāsomething faint, something warm, something familiar. he exhales, eyes slipping shut for a moment.
yeah. he could stay a little longer.
āseriously,ā he groans again, tugging at the neckline of his jersey, the fabric clinging to his skin like a second layer. with a restless sigh, he rolls onto his stomach, sprawling out across your bed like a cat too lazy to move from a sunspot. his cheek presses against the sheets, indigo eyes flicking lazily toward you, half-lidded from the heat. āwhy is it so hot? isnāt there some artist trick where you suffer for your work without making me suffer too?ā
you donāt bother looking up, your focus unwavering, the soft scratch of your brush against canvas filling the silence between you. thereās a faint crease between your brows, a telltale sign of concentration, though your expression remains unreadable.
āmaybe if you stopped talking, youād cool down.āĀ you murmur, dipping your brush into a shade of blue.
he scoffs, shifting onto his elbows, pushing damp strands of hair from his forehead with a lazy flick of his fingers. ābold of you to assume thatās an option.ā
and it irritates himāhow unfazed you are. does nothing shake you? does nothing break through that focus?
so it turns into a game.
at first, he starts smallāsubtle shifts in posture, exaggerated sighs, ridiculous flirtation, all carefully designed to draw your attention. a slow roll of his shoulders, the slight tilt of his head, the stretch of long limbs sprawled across your bed as if he owns the space. each movement is deliberate, each word carefully chosen to poke at you, to pry beneath that layer of calm focus you always seem to wear.
āwhat if i posed like one of those renaissance statues?ā satoru muses, arching his back slightly, stretching his arms over his head, the muscles in his shoulders shifting beneath sun-warmed skin. his voice is thick with faux contemplation, his white lashes lowering as if heās actually considering it. āyāknow, real dramatic, real divine. make me look like a legend in the making.ā
āyou already think youāre a legend.ā you mutter, the barest flicker of amusement crossing your face, so quick he almost misses it.
his grin sharpens, flashing teeth, and he rolls onto his side, propping himself up on one elbow to watch you work. his hair falls slightly over his forehead, messy and weightless, catching the light in wisps of silver and white. āi mean, arenāt i?ā
you donāt even look at him. just reach for your paintbrush, flick your wristāand suddenly, a few drops of cold paint water splatter against his bare arm.
he yelps, jerking away like youāve actually wounded him. āthe hellāā he glares at the tiny droplets seeping into his skin, like theyāre an offense to his very existence. āare you serious? thatās abuse.ā
you hum, not bothering to hide the faint smirk on your lips as you dip your brush back into the paint.
his narrowed eyes linger on your expression, on the relaxed set of your shoulders, on the tiny, satisfied twitch of your mouth.
(point goes to you.)
when that doesnāt work, he switches tactics.
his gaze flickers to the stack of empty ramen cups in the corner, precariously balanced like a monument to bad decisions. his lips twitch, smug and knowing, before his eyes drift toward the mini fridge tucked against the wall. last time he checkedāwhich was purely out of curiosity, mind youāit was nearly empty, save for a half-full bottle of water and a single, sad yogurt cup. it doesnāt take a genius to put two and two together.
ādo you always paint this obsessively?ā
āyes.ā
ādo you ever eat?ā
āobviously.ā
he hums, stretching his arms behind his head, the movement making his damp jersey stick even more uncomfortably to his skin.
āā¦you sure?ā
your brush hesitatesāa fraction of a second, barely noticeable, but he notices. then, just as quickly, you resume painting, voice perfectly even, expression carefully blank.
āwhatās with the interrogation?ā
ājust curious,ā he says, shifting until his long legs are stretched across the bed. his head tilts back against the sheets, white strands of hair falling messily over his forehead. āplus, if you pass out mid-session, whoās gonna pay me?ā
you roll your eyes, exhaling through your nose, the corners of your mouth twitching. āiāll put that in my will. āto satoru gojo, my life drawing model and worst financial decision.āā
satoru's laughter bursts out of him, loud and unfiltered, cutting through the thick, oppressive heat of the room. itās the kind of laugh that makes walls feel smaller, that shifts the air, that lingers longer than it should.
and you donāt hide your small smile fast enough.
his laughter stutters for half a second, his sharp eyes catching the curve of your lips before you press them together again. fleeting, but unmistakable. something smug and delighted unfurls in his chest, a warmth that has nothing to do with the summer air.
his grin stretches slow and wicked. āoh, you like me,ā he sings, rolling onto his back, looking at you upside down with that insufferable glint in his eyes.
āi tolerate you.ā you correct, but your hand twitches, and before he can blink, another flick of your brush sends a tiny splash of paint in his direction.
he yelps, twisting away, but itās too late.
(heās still winning.)
but thenāhe moves too much.
a shift of his shoulders, an exaggerated sigh, the creak of your mattress beneath him. his knee bumps against your sketchbook, disrupting the careful balance of supplies stacked at the foot of the bed. then, as if testing the limits of your patience, he stretches, arms extending above his head, his basketball jersey riding up just slightlyājust enough to reveal the sharp dip of his waist, the faint sheen of sweat at his collarbone. his head tilts back against your pillow, and he groans, long and drawn out.
you exhale sharply, setting your brush down with a click before pushing yourself up from your stool.
satoru's eyes track your movement, bright and sharp even in the dim light of your dorm. heās expecting a scolding, maybe even an irritated glare. but thereās something different this timeāyour expression unreadable, your gaze fixed on him with that same unwavering focus that always throws him off. you move with purpose, deliberate steps closing the space between you, and the room suddenly feels smaller, the heat pressing heavier against his skin, against the air between you.
he watches, waiting for the usual sigh, the exasperated reminder to stop fidgeting. he waits for you to roll your eyes and mutter something about how heās impossible to work with.
insteadāyour fingers catch his chin, tilting it just so.
satoru's breath hitches, barely perceptible, but you donāt noticeāor if you do, you donāt acknowledge it. your touch is firm, not hesitant, your thumb grazing just beneath his jaw as you adjust the angle of his face. then, without a second thought, your hand shifts, fingers ghosting along the curve of his cheekbone, the edge of his jaw, brushing against the sensitive skin below his ear. thereās dried paint smudged on your fingertips, faint streaks of color that leave invisible traces against his skin, and his throat bobs as he swallows.
you donāt stop there.
your other hand lifts, smoothing his slouched shoulders back against the pillows, fingertips pressing briefly into the fabric of his jersey. then you reach for his wrist, shifting his arm so it drapes more naturally across his stomach. and all the while, youāre silent, your movements efficient, unthinkingālike touching him is no different than adjusting the angle of a still life, like heās just another part of the composition youāre perfecting.
before the silence stretches too long, before his brain can fully process the casual way you just handled him, he grins, slow and wicked.
ādamn,ā he drawls, voice lazy, smug, but thereās something tight beneath the ease of it. his head tilts back slightly against your pillow, eyes half-lidded, watching you with a mixture of mischief and something deeperāsomething that makes his smirk seem almost too deliberate, like heās waiting for you to react. āyouāre really making this a whole thing, huh?ā
āwhat?ā you say absently, fingers still deftly adjusting the angle of his jaw, your touch steady as you tilt his chin just another fraction higher. the concentration in your expression is unreadable, but your gaze never wavers, sharp and focused. he notices how your brows furrow just the slightest, the way your lips press together in a line that says youāre not going to let him distract you this time.
ānothing,ā he smirks, his grin widening, amused by the way your hands move over him with such intention. his fingers twitch where they rest against the blanket, itching for something to do, but he forces himself to remain still, curious to see how far he can push you. ājustāyāknow, if you wanted me like one of your french girls, you couldāve just said so.ā
your fingers tighten slightly in response, the faintest press of your nails against his skinānot quite a warning, but close. you can feel the pulse of his heartbeat under your fingertips, steady but accelerating just slightly, as if your touch has an effect on him heās unwilling to admit. thereās an almost imperceptible shift in his posture, as if he's bracing himself, but his eyes are still locked on you, playful but careful.
āif you donāt shut up,ā you say, voice perfectly even, calm in the face of his teasing, āi will paint you uglier.ā the words roll off your tongue without hesitation, but thereās an edge to them, something you both know you mean more than you let on. your hand doesnāt move from his jaw, but your fingers tighten for a momentāenough to make him flinch, just barelyāand itās enough to make his grin falter.
āmm. bold of you to assume i have a bad angle.ā his voice is dripping with sarcasm, his smirk returning in full force, and his hand twitches again as if heās resisting the urge to reach out, to touch you in return. but he holds himself back, all too aware that this is your spaceāyour processāand heās simply a subject in it. yet, his confidence remains unshaken, a challenge flickering behind his eyes.
you give his jaw a deliberate little nudge, the motion slow and purposeful, and barely suppress a sigh as you watch him reactāhis body tensing under your touch, as if the slight pressure is just the right amount to make him ache for more. but youāre not finished, not yet.
āstay still, satoru.ā you murmur, your voice the slightest bit sharper this time, but with a subtle undercurrent of something softer. he could almost mistake it for a command, if not for the way you adjust his position with gentle precision, ensuring every detail of his form is just as you want it. your eyes flicker over him, tracing the angles of his face, the sharp line of his jaw, the soft curve of his neckāsomething about the way you hold him, make him stay, makes him feel like youāre in complete control, and thatās when it hits him.
he doesnāt dare move.
not because he suddenly respects the process.
but because your fingers are cool against his overheated skin, an unexpected relief against the oppressive heat of the room. because for a moment, when you adjusted his posture, you were close enough for him to see the flecks of paint on your cheek, the way your lashes framed your eyes, the soft crease in your forehead when you concentrate.
because you touched him without hesitation. without thought. without treating him like something fragile, something distant, something untouchable.
and he doesnāt move for the next three hours.
...oh.
heās in grave danger.
AUTUMN arrives with brisk winds and golden light, the air carrying the scent of fallen leaves and distant bonfires. the campus shifts with the season, summerās lazy sprawl giving way to hurried footsteps and layered clothing, students caught between clinging to warmth and embracing the inevitable cold. the world feels sharper now, edges clearer, the sun hanging lower in the sky, stretching shadows across the pavement. satoru gojo hasnāt changed much, still striding through campus like he owns it, but thereās something different in the way he keeps showing up.
it starts with a realization: youāre an idiot with money.
satoru has been modeling for you for months now, first as a casual arrangement, then as an unspoken habit, and nowānow heās not even sure what to call it. at first, it was just a side hustle, a way to fund his snack addiction and make up for his tendency to forget that classes required effort. he still shows up late sometimes, still complains about holding the same pose for too long, still finds ways to annoy you just to see how youāll react. but somewhere between summer and autumn, it stopped being about the money.
because youāre routine now.
just like basketball practice. just like late-night convenience store runs. just like winning. he doesnāt think about it too much, doesnāt poke at the feeling, just lets it settle into the spaces between his days. but then, one evening, it clicksāthis thing between you isnāt exactly balanced. because for all the money you pay him, youāre the one stretching yourself thin.
it happens when he catches you eating a sad cup of instant noodles for what must be the fourth day in a row.
at first, he doesnāt say anything, just watches as you peel back the lid, steam curling weakly into the cool autumn air. he thinks maybe itās a preference thing, some weird artist habit, until his gaze driftsāto the extra commissions stacked on your desk, the supply receipts stuffed into your sketchbook, the way you barely check your phone unless itās him texting about a session. your fingers tighten around your chopsticks, movements slower than usual, exhaustion threading through the way you stir the noodles.
you are, quite literally, funding him instead of yourself.
āagain?ā he finally asks, gesturing at your dinner. his voice is light, teasing, but thereās something else behind it, something sharper, like heās waiting for you to slip up. he watches the way you barely react, how your grip on the chopsticks stays loose, how you keep your focus on the pitiful cup of noodles steaming in your hands instead of looking at him. his knee bounces once, a restless motion, before he stills it with a pointed exhale.
you shrug, not meeting his eyes, stirring half-heartedly, and the broth sloshes over the rim, spilling onto your sleeve in a dark stain. but you donāt react, donāt even seem to notice, just keep stirring, keep avoiding his gaze like you can will this conversation into disappearing. āi have a budget.ā you say, voice even, detached, like youāre stating a fact and not making an excuse. your fingers tighten around the flimsy cup for half a second before you force yourself to loosen them, nudging a stray noodle back under the broth like you canāt feel his eyes on you.
satoru narrows his eyes, shifting where he sits, the mattress creaking under his weight. his arms stretch over his head for a beat, but thereās tension in the motion, his jaw tight even as he forces himself to lean back, feigning nonchalance. āyou literally raised my pay just to get me to pose.ā he says, voice incredulous, edged with something between concern and irritation. he isnāt laughing anymore, isnāt teasing, just watching, waiting, expecting you to have some kind of answer.
āthose two are completely different things.ā you mumble, slurping up some noodles like the conversation isnāt happening, like you can hide behind the motion. your posture shifts, shoulders curling inward, the steam from the cup rising in thin wisps against your face, half-obscuring your expression.
different how?
but you donāt elaborate.
you donāt meet his eyes, either, just keep pushing your noodles around the cup, the movements small, aimless, stalling. his gaze flickers down, catches the little detailsāthe fading paint stains on your fingers, the slight tremor in the way you stir, the tension coiled in your shoulders like youāre bracing for something. he exhales, head tilting, watching you with the same sharpness he saves for an opponent about to make a move, for a moment of weakness he can take advantage ofābut this time, it doesnāt feel like a game.
and then, all at once, it clicks. how much youāre actually paying him. how much of your already-limited allowance is going to him just so you can paint. how much youāre giving up without a word, without a complaint, without even a hint of hesitation.
and suddenly, his next paycheck doesnāt sit right with him.
so from that moment on, satoru starts caring for you in ways you donāt even notice.
itās subtle at first, woven into the fabric of your routine, slipping in so seamlessly that you almost donāt register the shift. he still shows up late sometimes, still drags his feet through the doorway like heās doing you a favor, but nowānow heās always carrying something. a plastic bag crinkles against his fingers as he drops it onto your desk, careless and offhand, like he isnāt watching for your reaction.
āleftovers,ā he says way too casually when you glance up at him, suspicion flickering in your eyes. his voice is loose, unconcerned, but thereās something too deliberate in the way he nudges the bag closer, the way his hand lingers just a second too long before he pulls away. āfigured youād want āem before i threw them out.ā
you eye the freshly wrapped onigiri and convenience store sandwiches, brows knitting together as your fingers hesitate over the bag. the packaging is neat, unopened, no signs of the mindless picking and half-eaten portions he usually leaves behind when heās actually careless. āā¦since when do you not finish your food?ā your voice is skeptical, flat, but thereās something guarded in the way you ask it, something careful.
āsince now,ā he says, flopping onto your bed with the kind of dramatic ease only he can manage. his hoodie rides up slightly, exposing a sliver of tanned skin, but he doesnāt bother adjusting it, too busy stretching his arms over his head. ājust eat it before i change my mind.ā
you do. you donāt question it, donāt pick apart the way he shifts his weight against your mattress like heās making himself at home, donāt dwell on the way his voice sounded just a little softer than usual. he pretends not to notice when you eat in silence, barely glancing at him. but later that night, when youāre alone, you find yourself smiling down at the empty wrapper before tossing it in the trash.
then he starts paying for your drinks when you go out, slipping the cash over the counter before you can argue, calling it his ātreatā like heās some kind of benevolent patron.
āyou only say that because iām the only artist you know.ā you deadpan, reaching for your coffee, fingers brushing the warmth of the cup.
āyeah,ā he grins, unapologetic, smug, like heās already won something. his fingers drum lightly against the side of his own cup, restless energy bleeding through the way he leans just slightly into your space. āand youāre killinā it at first place.ā
your fingers twitch slightly against the cup, grip adjusting like youāre trying to steady something that isnāt your coffee. you pretend not to feel the warmth in your chest, pretend his words donāt settle somewhere deep, somewhere dangerous. but when you take a sip, you donāt fight the way the heat lingers.
but it still doesnāt feel like enough.
satoru watches the way you flip through your sketchbook, fingers skimming the edges of each page like youāre weighing how much space you have left. he sees the way your gaze lingers on your paint tubes, the way your thumb presses absently against the label, as if debating whether the color is worth using. he notices the way your sleeves push up slightly when you mix paints, the faintest crease forming between your brows when you check how much is left. you wonāt take money from him outrightāhe knows that muchābut maybe, just maybe, he can get you to make money some other way.
so he tries introducing you to sports betting, grinning like heās telling you the best-kept secret in the world. his energy is relentless, all sharp confidence and easy arrogance, like he truly believes heās about to change your life. you donāt even need to look up to know heās leaning in too close, elbows braced against your desk, practically radiating self-satisfaction. itās unbearable.
āsatoru, thatās literally gambling,ā you say flatly, dragging your pencil across the page, deliberately uninterested.
āitās strategic investing,ā satoru corrects, voice smooth, pleased with himself, like heās just introduced you to some kind of financial loophole. he shifts slightly, and his jersey slips off one shoulder, exposing the curve of his collarbone, but he doesnāt seem to noticeātoo caught up in his own nonsense. his fingers tap against your desk, impatient, restless, waiting for you to take the bait.
you donāt. instead, you finally glance up, brows raised. āyou lost thirty bucks last week.ā
his lips part like heās about to argue, but then he pauses, reconsiders, and pivots. āokay, but that was a fluke,ā he says, already curling his mouth into a perfectly crafted pout.
āwas it?ā
satoru exhales dramatically, like this conversation is somehow exhausting him, and drops his head onto your sketchbook, completely unbothered by the fact that youāre still holding a pencil. āhave a little faith in me, damn.ā
you shake your head, amused despite yourself. you shouldnāt be. you should shut this down, make it clear that you have no intention of entertaining whatever scheme heās trying to rope you into.
but thenā
āfine,ā you say one day, flipping through your sketchbook, voice too casual, too offhanded. like this is barely worth mentioning, like youāre not actively indulging him. āiāll bet on your team.ā
the change is immediate.
satoru's body goes still, and for once, thereās no teasing, no smirk, no cocky remark. just a blinkāslow, calculatingālike heās processing the words more carefully than anything else youāve ever said to him. the tension lasts only a second before his mouth curves into something dangerous, something sharp, something entirely too pleased.
oh. oh, no.
āoh, sweetheart,ā he drawls, voice all silk and trouble, reaching up to ruffle his already-messy hair. his fingers linger for a second, pushing back the damp strands before he tilts his head at you, grin widening. āyouāre not gonna regret that.ā
he doesnāt wait for your response. heās already out the door. and frankly, you didn't expect the game to be brutal.
clearly, your estimate was wrong. the gym is packed, filled with students from both universities, the air thick with tension, sweat, and school pride. banners hang from the walls, school colors clashing, chants echoing through the space like war cries. the visiting teamātall, muscular, built like they were engineered for thisācarries themselves with the weight of confidence, a roster of starters who have dominated the league all season. they tower over the court, standing like an immovable wall of defense, but it only takes one play for them to realize theyāre in trouble.
because satoru gojo is simply faster. better.
the moment the ball is in his hands, he moves like he owns the court. the opposing point guardāa solid 6ā5 with broad shoulders and a killer defensive recordālunges to block him, but itās over before it even starts. satoru feints left, shifts right, and leaves him grasping at air, breaking into a sprint toward the basket before the others can react. their power forwardātall, heavy, built for blocking shotsāsteps in, arms raised high, but satoru barely acknowledges him.
because satoru is 6ā3, fast as hell, and has a vertical leap that makes people question physics. he jumps, body twisting mid-air, and the slam dunk is so violent it rattles the rim.
the crowd erupts.
the visiting teamās coach is already shouting, hands flying in frustration as his players scramble to reorganize. they try to lock satoru down, try to double-team him, but itās pointlessāhis crossovers are disrespectful, his footwork impossible to track, his speed completely unfair. one defenderā6ā7, easily one of the best in the leagueāsteps up, stance wide, arms ready, but satoru doesnāt even give him time to think.
because satoru is playing with purpose.
his second shot? half-court. no hesitation.
the ball soars through the air, clean, perfect, and the second it lands through the net, satoru is already turning away, smirking as if he knew it would go in before he even let go.
āoh, youāve got to be kidding me.ā nanami mutters, watching as the other universityās shooting guardāwho up until now had been known for his defenseāgrabs his knees like heās questioning his life choices.
ātheyāre frustrated,ā suguru notes, amused, stepping up beside satoru during a dead ball.
āthey should be.ā satoru says, rolling his shoulders, letting his sweat-slicked jersey shift against his skin. he looks completely relaxedāuntouched, unbothered, infuriatingly smugāas if he isnāt systematically destroying one of the best teams in the league.
but this isnāt just about winning.
because every time he scores, he looks at you.
he doesnāt even try to be subtle. his icy blue eyes flick up to the bleachers, head tilting slightly, lips curving into a knowing grin. his fan girls scream, convinced heās looking at them, but you know better. because satoru isnāt just playingāheās showing off.
he breaks past another defender with ridiculous ease, dribbling once before stepping back for a three-pointer that barely even touches the rim. the opposing teamās captain calls for a switch, barking out orders, but it doesnāt matterāthey canāt stop him.
the timeout huddle is a mess.
players are breathing hard, jerseys clinging to sweat-damp skin, shoulders rising and falling as they try to recover. the gym is loudātoo loudāthe crowd still buzzing from the absolute disaster that was the first half. their coach is talking, something about holding the lead, tightening defense, not getting cocky, but no one is listening. because across the circle, satoru is still grinning like heās having the time of his life.
āyo, what the hell is wrong with you today?ā suguru mutters, tossing him a towel, brow furrowed like heās genuinely concerned.
satoru catches it with one hand, absently wiping the sweat from his forehead, movements lazy, easy, completely unbothered. his white hair is a mess, strands curling slightly from the heat, the glow of the overhead lights catching on the sharp angles of his face. his jersey is clinging to his frame, fabric damp where it stretches over his shoulders, his chest, but he doesnāt seem to noticeāor care. instead, he tugs the collar away from his skin, letting the cool air hit, eyes flicking up toward the stands like heās looking for something.
or rather, someone.
ānothing.ā he says, voice easy, light, like he didnāt just dismantle an entire universityās defense and humiliate half their starters in front of a packed gym. his breath is steady, not a hint of exhaustion, only the slow rise and fall of his chest beneath his damp jersey, fabric clinging to his frame, sweat glistening along the sharp lines of his collarbone. his hair is an absolute mess, strands sticking to his forehead, white against flushed skin, but he makes no move to fix it. he just breathes in deep, exhales slow, and grins wider, a lazy, knowing curl of his lips, all sharp edges and unchecked arrogance.
then, too casuallyāājust gotta make sure my girl gets paid.ā
suguru blinks. once. twice. then exhales, a slow, measured breath, like heās trying to process what he just heard.
his expression shiftsānot shocked, not confused, but amused. a slow smirk tugs at the corner of his mouth, dark eyes glinting with something knowing, something entertained. because this is the same girl, isnāt it? the same girl satoru was ditching party invitations for, choosing study sessions over late-night drinks for, showing up to campus early for when he barely woke up on time for class.
ā...oh?ā suguru says, just to hear him say it again.
but satoru doesnāt elaborate. doesnāt even look away from the stands. just flips the towel over his shoulder, rolls his wrists like this is just another game, like he hasnāt just set the entire gym on fire with a single sentence.
the buzzer blasts. second half starts. and satoru gojo is playing for blood.
the other university comes back from halftime determined, desperate, their coach gesturing wildly from the sidelines, barking orders as if sheer strategy will make up for the fact that they are losing to one man. they throw everything at satoruādouble teams, switches, aggressive press defenseābut none of it matters. he slips through them like water, like air, like something untouchable, moving with the kind of ease that makes even the referees hesitate before blowing the whistle.
he isnāt just scoringāheās playing with them.
he spins the ball between his fingers, a lazy smirk curling at his lips, then passes it off last second, only to sprint across the court faster than anyone expects and sink a corner three. when their shooting guard tries to lock him down, satoru just laughsāactual laughter, low and effortless, before stepping back and draining another deep shot, his wrist flicking with a perfect follow-through. it barely touches the net.
you shouldnāt be this invested.
but your eyes track him anyway, caught up in the rhythm of his movements, in the way his jersey clings to the shape of his shoulders, the sweat glistening at the hollow of his throat. heās moving like this is personal, like the entire game is some elaborate performance meant for you alone, and itās starting to get to you. every time he scores, he glances up, searching for you in the stands, and you hate that your stomach flips when his gaze finds yours.
you hate it even more when you catch yourself smiling.
heās impossible to ignore, too bright, too loud, too much. the crowd responds to him like heās some kind of basketball god, voices rising every time he moves, a mix of screams, chants, and what youāre pretty sure is an entire row of students calling out his name. his fan girls are in absolute chaos, some clutching each otherās arms, others dramatically swooning, like theyāre seconds away from fainting just from watching him exist.
the other team is beyond frustrated.
theyāve thrown everything at himādouble teams, switches, aggressive defenseābut it doesnāt matter. because satoru isnāt just playing to win. heās playing to humiliate.
his next victim is their shooting guard, 6ā4, all muscle, built like he should be a defensive wall. he steps up, arms wide, eyes sharp, feet planted like heās ready for anything. but satoru? satoru doesnāt even look like heās trying. he bounces the ball once, twice, just enough to let the anticipation build, before shifting forward like heās about to drive in.
the defender lunges and satoru, the absolute menace that he is, just stands there.
he doesnāt move. doesnāt even attempt to go around him. just watchesācompletely unbothered, completely stillāas the guy flies past him, momentum carrying him forward, stumbling face-first onto the court.
the crowd gasps.
the defender scrambles to recover, but itās already over. satoru spins the ball in his hands, takes a single step back, andāwithout even looking at the rimālaunches a half-court shot.
the ball soars, clean, effortless, perfect. it barely even touches the net. the gym absolutely erupts. and thenāhe winks up at the bleachers.
or rather, at you.
itās infuriatingly slow, deliberate, the corner of his mouth curling up in a way that is both cocky and playful. his white hair is a mess, damp with sweat, strands sticking to his forehead, but it only makes the sharpness of his features more pronounced. his lips part slightly, the ghost of a smirk still lingering, the blue of his eyes catching under the lightsābright, focused, sharp enough to be dangerous.
the reaction is immediate.
āhe saw me!ā someone shrieks, grabbing their friendās arm in a death grip.
āno, he was looking at me!ā another one yells, voice already breaking.
āoh my god, heās literally flirting with our section!ā
meanwhile, youāre still just watching him play, like he didnāt just incite a full-scale riot in the stands. you donāt even thinkāyou just lift your hand, give him a thumbs up, then go right back to pretending this is normal.
satoru freezes.
for a split second, he stares, blinking like he wasnāt expecting you to actually respond. the gym is too loud, too chaotic, but all of it fades into static as he holds your gaze, something unreadable flickering behind his expression.
thenāhis grin stretches slow and sharp, something almost dangerous flashing in his expression.
the opposing team barely has time to react. the second satoru turns back to the game, heās already moving.
their point guard makes the mistake of hesitating, fingers gripping the ball a second too long as he scans the court for an opening. satoru doesnāt wait. he lunges forward, impossibly fast, cutting through the space between them like a blade. his hand shoots out, fingers slapping against the ball with a sharp, decisive smack, and suddenlyāitās his.
the steal is clean, effortless, unfair.
the defender barely has time to curse before satoru is already gone, already breaking into a full sprint down the court. his movements are fluid, sharp, ruthless, his jersey clinging to the sweat on his skin as he takes off, the crowd roaring in anticipation.
a single defender manages to keep up, breathing hard, desperate, sprinting beside him in a last-ditch effort to block him. but satoru doesnāt even look at him. doesnāt even acknowledge him.
he takes one step inside the paintāthen jumps. and he just keeps going. the crowd screams as he soars, legs tucking, arm pulling back, body arching so high it feels unreal. the defender leaps, arms stretching, tryingāfailing.
because satoru gojo is 6ā3, fast as hell, and plays above the rim like the air belongs to him.
his fingers clamp around the ball, grip firm, the muscles in his arms flexing as he swings forwardāthen slams it through the net with enough force to make the entire backboard rattle.
the gym explodes. the other universityās bench is silent. their coach buries his face in his hands.
satoru drops back down to the court, landing lightly on his feet, rolling his shoulders as if he didnāt just commit a crime in front of a full audience. he turns, gaze flicking up toward the bleachersātoward you. his fan girls lose their minds.
but you? you donāt stand a chance.
you exhale slowly, pressing your knuckles against your lips, trying to ignore the warmth creeping into your face. youāre not swooningāyou refuse to be one of them, one of the girls throwing themselves at him like heās some kind of untouchable idol. but your fingers curl against your sketchbook, grip tightening, and you know youāre falling for him anyway.
the game is already over.
the scoreboard doesnāt say it yet, but everyone knows. satoru knows. the other university knows. even their coach, red-faced and exhausted from yelling, has stopped trying to call plays that might turn things around. but satoru? heās still playing like he has something to prove.
his next move is straight-up cruel.
their point guard is waiting for him at the three-point line, arms wide, stance low, feet planted like heās ready for anything. he isnāt. satoru bounces the ball between his legs once, twice, then shifts forward just enough to make it look like heās driving in. the defender lunges, panicked, reaching out to block himābut satoru is already gone.
a single, fluid crossover sends the guy sprawling onto the court, hands catching empty air as satoru steps back and sinks another three-pointer like heās just shooting around at practice. the bench erupts, players falling over each other in disbelief, a mix of laughter and shouts filling the gym. even the refereeāusually stone-faced and neutralālets out a quiet, impressed whistle.
you cover your mouth with your sleeve, shoulders shaking as you try to stifle your laughter. itās unfair, really, how easily he does thisāhow easily he turns the game into his own personal stage, his own playground.
he doesnāt even look at the scoreboard. he looks at you.
your breath catches, because this time, thereās something different in the way he holds your gaze. he isnāt just searching for a reactionāheās watching. like heās waiting for something. like heās confirming something.
your fingers tighten against your sleeve. you know.
and from the way his smirk softens just slightly, the way his head tilts, eyes bright beneath the glare of the gym lightsāhe knows, too.
the final seconds tick down.
the other team stops trying to chase the scoreāthey know itās hopeless. some of them donāt even bother running back on defense anymore, hands on their hips, breathing hard, completely defeated. when the final buzzer blares, itās almost mercy at this point, the end of a game that shouldāve stopped being competitive long ago.
final score: 112-39.
satoru lifts his arms in a lazy stretch, grinning, completely unbothered, as if he didnāt just personally crush one of the highest-ranked teams in the league. sweat clings to his skin, his jersey damp, hair an absolute mess, but he still looks ridiculously good, annoyingly confident.
his teammates crowd him immediately, patting his back, ruffling his hair, laughing at his absolute disrespect on the court. he takes it all in stride, leaning against suguruās shoulder like he didnāt just outrun everyone on that court, fingers lifting in a lazy peace sign as cameras flash.
but the moment heās freeāhe looks for you.
he doesnāt find you right away.
by the time the final buzzer blares and the court erupts into cheers, youāre already making your way down the bleachers, tucking your sketchbook under your arm like you can pretend you werenāt watching him the entire time. the gym is still loud, electric, the energy of the crowd vibrating against your skin as students swarm the court, players getting swallowed up in a mess of high-fives and celebratory shouts. you keep your head down, moving quickly, telling yourself that youāre just avoiding the chaos, that youāre not actually running from him.
but thenāfootsteps. fast. deliberate. coming straight for you.
āoi, oiāwhy are you leaving so fast?ā
too late.
you barely have time to react before satoru catches up, falling into step beside you, grinning like heās won something more than just a game. heās still breathless from the court, his jersey damp, sweat clinging to the edges of his hair, but he moves easily, like the entire game was just a warm-up. the fluorescent lights overhead catch on the sharp line of his jaw, on the bright blue of his eyes, on the smug tilt of his lips as he leans in slightly, invading your space like itās his right.
āso,ā satoru drawls, voice still rough from exertion, breath still a little uneven. his skin glows under the fluorescent lights, sweat clinging to the sharp lines of his jaw, the hollow of his throat, the stray strands of white hair sticking to his forehead. but he doesnāt seem to careātoo busy grinning, too busy basking in his victory. he leans in slightly, crowding into your space the way he always does, eyes alight with something smug, something expectant. āhowās it feel to profit off your favorite athlete?ā
you blink, gripping your sketchbook a little tighter, pressing it against your chest like a shield. this is not a conversation you want to have right nowānot when he looks like that, not when heās still riding the high of the game, not when heās standing too close, towering over you, sweat-drenched and insufferably pleased with himself.
āā¦i think i probably only made like twenty bucks.ā
he freezes. for the first time all night, satoru gojo short-circuits. ā...huh?ā
you shift your weight slightly, trying not to smile, but he sees the way your fingers twitch, the way your gaze flickers away for half a second, like youāre barely keeping it together. āi only bet the minimum,ā you admit, voice calm, unaffected, like you didnāt just shatter his entire perception of the game. ādidnāt wanna risk too much.ā
thereās a pause. a long one.
satoru's grin falters. his gaze sharpens, like heās replaying the last two hours in his head, like heās remembering every dunk, every deep three-pointer, every ridiculous play he pulled offāall under the assumption that you had gone all in.
you see the exact moment he realizes. he ruined a college teamās entire morale for twenty bucks. he also accidentally started several dating rumors.
āno way.ā his voice is flat, almost horrified. āno actual way.ā
you bite the inside of your cheek, struggling to keep your expression neutral. itās too easy.
he runs a hand through his hair, pushing back the damp strands, still looking like heās processing an entire life-altering event. āyouāyou barely even bet?ā
āyup.ā
āso you werenātāā he gestures vaguely, looking genuinely lost, like heās been personally betrayed by the universe itself. āyou werenāt, like, invested?ā
you shrug, avoiding his gaze, because you suddenly feel kind of bad. ānot really.ā
his expression crumbles.
āoh my god.ā he exhales sharply, dragging a hand down his face, fingers pressing into his temples like this is causing him actual physical pain. āi wasted all my best moves for twenty bucks?ā
you nod, lips pressing together, but this time, the guilt outweighs the amusement. you peek up at him, watching the way he slouches slightly, shoulders dropping, his usual confidence momentarily replaced with the weight of sheer disbelief.
āā¦i mean,ā you murmur, hesitant, before reaching into your pocket. āyou looked pretty cool.ā
he doesnāt react immediately, still looking far too devastated to register your words, but when you pull out a neatly folded handkerchief and raise it toward him, he finally glances down.
his brows lift.
āwhatās this?ā he asks, voice suspicious, but thereās something softer in it now, something curious.
you swallow, suddenly self-conscious, but you donāt pull your hand back. āyouāre, um⦠sweating.ā
his lips twitch.
āoh?ā he says, and now heās watching you instead of the handkerchief, instead of anything else.
you avert your gaze, cheeks warming slightly, but you still reach up carefully, dabbing the cloth against his forehead with quiet, deliberate movements. he goes still, just for a second, just long enough for you to register the shift in the air, the way his breath hitches almost imperceptibly.
thenāslowly, teasinglyā
ādamn,ā he murmurs. āif i knew youād be this sweet about it, i wouldāve played even harder.ā
your fingers pause, pressing against his skin just a fraction longer than necessary, before you pull back abruptly, heart stumbling over itself.
āforget it.ā you mutter, stuffing the handkerchief back into your pocket, turning on your heel.
satoru laughs, bright and unbothered, falling into step beside you like he wasnāt just existentially wrecked a minute ago. and somehow, you know this isnāt the last time heās going to make you feel like this.
but as it turns out, offering satoru a handkerchief isnāt enough to alleviate his moodāhe sulks for an entire week.
he still shows up, still lounges around your dorm like he owns the place, but everything he does is unnecessarily dramatic. he sighsāloudly and oftenācollapsing onto your furniture like his limbs donāt work properly. he sprawls across your bed without asking, flopping onto his stomach like some overgrown cat, muttering about betrayal every time you glance at him. he pokes at your art supplies absentmindedly, dragging a finger along the rim of your paint jars, staring mournfully at your sketchbook like it personally wronged him.
satoru refuses to play pickup games at the campus court, claiming heās āretiredā after his efforts were wasted on someone who only bet the bare minimum. he stretches out on your floor instead, staring at the ceiling with the air of a fallen war hero, occasionally tossing a basketball in the air and catching it one-handedājust to remind you of what was lost.
āyou couldāve told me.ā he grumbles one evening, sprawled out in the middle of your dorm, arms crossed like a petulant child. his hair is still damp from practice, the ends curling slightly where sweat has dried, but he hasnāt even changed out of his jersey yetātoo busy sulking.
you hum in response, dipping your brush into a fresh shade of blue, too used to his dramatics to entertain them. āwhat, that i wasnāt planning to go broke over a basketball game?ā
āyes!ā he says miserably, rolling onto his side so he can stare at you like you personally ruined his life.
his arms are still crossed, but one hand is half-buried in his hair, fingers tugging lightly at the strands, his expression caught somewhere between disbelief and heartbreak. āi wouldāve toned it down.ā
you snort, finally glancing at him. his blue eyes are fixed on you, sharp but lazy, like heās waiting for you to admit you were wrong. āno, you wouldnāt have.ā
satoru opens his mouthāprobably to argue, probably to deny that he's the most dramatic person aliveābut then he catches the look on your face. something shifts in his expression, something slower, something warmer, like heās seeing you in a way he hadnāt before. for the first time since he walked into your dorm today, he goes quiet.
you donāt look away.
outside, the wind rattles against your window, golden leaves scraping against the glass. the air smells crisp, cold, like the start of something new. autumn is settling in.
āā¦did you at least have fun?ā you ask, raising an eyebrow. your voice is lighter than usual, quieter, like you already know the answer but want to hear him say it anyway.
he doesnāt answer right away.
he just grins, lazy, easy, completely insufferable, like he knows something youāre not ready to admit yet.
āyeah,ā he murmurs. āguess i did.ā
the last days of AUTUMN slip in quietly, fading into the edges of routine like the final strokes of a painting.
the air is sharper now, biting, enough that satoru finally stops showing up in just his jerseyāthough he still refuses to wear anything heavier than a hoodie, claiming heās "built different." the wind rattles your dorm window more often, slipping through the cracks to nip at your fingers as you paint, and the trees outside stand bare and skeletal, their golden leaves now forgotten heaps on the pavement, damp and crumbling underfoot.
and then, thereās finals.
campus shifts with the season, brimming with stress, the energy heavier, more desperate. the library is always full, lights flickering through the windows at all hours of the night. students hunch over laptops in cafƩs, their cups stacked high with unfinished coffee, their fingers smudged with ink and exhaustion.
and youāyou are pushing yourself too hard.
satoru sees it before you do.
he sees it in the way your hands donāt move as fluidly when you paint, how your brushes sit in murky water for too long before you remember to rinse them out. he sees it in the way you rub your eyes more often, fingertips pressing against your temples when you think no oneās looking. the way you sip your coffee like itās medicine, like you need it just to stay upright.
but more than anything, he sees it in the way youāve stopped sketching between sessions.
at first, he doesnāt say anything.
because he knows you. knows that you hate being told to slow down, that you treat breaks like enemies, that unfinished work sits on your conscience like an open wound.
so instead, he tries harder in ways you donāt notice.
he starts bringing you food more often, not even bothering to pretend theyāre leftovers anymore. he tosses a granola bar at you before every session, drops a water bottle onto your desk without explanation, side-eyes your instant noodles with blatant, unfiltered disapproval.
so instead, he tries harder in ways you donāt notice.
he starts bringing you food more often, no longer bothering with the flimsy excuse of calling them leftovers. he tosses a granola bar at you before every session, always with an offhanded commentā"donāt die on me, yeah?"ābefore flopping onto your bed like he didnāt just shove sustenance into your hands. he drops a water bottle onto your desk without explanation, the plastic cool against your wrist as you sketch, and side-eyes your instant noodles like they personally offend him. when you ignore him, he clicks his tongue in disapproval, muttering something about "atrocious dietary habits" like heās one to talk.
āyouāre not my mom, satoru.ā you say one evening, peeling the wrapper off the snack he just unceremoniously threw at you.
ānah,ā he scoffs, propping himself up on one elbow, watching you unwrap it with clear satisfaction. āif i was your mom, iād actually let you starve so youād learn a lesson.ā
you pause, narrowing your eyes. ā...what lesson?ā
he shrugs, grinning like he didnāt just say something completely unhinged, dimples showing slightly. āi dunno. that eating real food is important or some shit.ā
you roll your eyes, but you still eat whatever he brings.
and when you think heās not looking, you chew a little slower, savoring the warmth in your chest that has nothing to do with the food.
he starts texting you more, too.
[10:47 PM] still awake?
[10:48 PM] wait dumb question. ofc you are.
[10:48 PM] go to sleep before ur brain melts. if you canāt sleep we can call, im a wonderful singer.
[10:49 PM] also if ur ignoring me rn iām gonna be soooo hurt u donāt even know.
[10:50 PM] iām okay, satoru.
[10:51 PM] just a little tired. iāll sleep soon.
[10:51 PM] thank you for checking, though.
he doesnāt reply right away.
you stare at the screen for a moment, thumb hovering over the keyboard, wondering if he fell asleep or got distracted, if heās still there. as if sensing this, his replies arrive.
[10:54 PM] yeah, i know.
[10:54 PM] but take it easy, okay?
[10:55 PM] iāll see you tomorrow.
you exhale, something warm settling in your chest, something you donāt have the energy to unpack right now.
[10:56 PM] okay.
you flip your phone over, tucking it beneath your pillow, but you fall asleep easier that night. because itās nice. having someone to notice. having someone to care.
then, one evening, it happens.
youāre halfway through a painting, something thatās been frustrating you for days, something that isnāt coming out right no matter how many times you fix it. the colors arenāt blending the way you want, the strokes feel too heavy, too forcedālike your hands arenāt listening to you anymore.
satoru is there, sprawled across your bed like he has nowhere else to be, phone in one hand, the other tucked lazily behind his head. he glances at you between scrolling, sighing loudly whenever you donāt react, making just enough noise to remind you of his presence. when that doesnāt work, he shifts onto his side, propping himself up on an elbow, eyes flicking toward your hunched form at the desk. āyouāre supposed to entertain me, yāknow.ā
āiām busy,ā you mutter, barely sparing him a glance, your focus locked on the canvas in front of you. your brush hovers midair, colors blending under the dim light of your desk lamp, but thereās a tightness in your grip, a frustration in the way your shoulders remain stiff.
āso?ā he rolls onto his side, propping himself up on one elbow, his head tilting slightly as he watches you. āi am literally your muse.ā
you exhale sharply, setting your brush down with a little more force than necessary. āyou are literally annoying.ā
he gasps, clutching his chest like you just struck him. āharsh.ā his voice is light, teasing, but his eyes stay on you, watching as you tilt your head, exhale through your nose, then lean forward again, brush hovering over the canvas.
youāve been fixated for too long now, barely moving except to mix colors, sigh, and frown at your work. your posture is too stiff, too tense, your shoulders drawn up, the curve of your spine locked in place like youāve forgotten how to relax. your fingers tighten around the brush, knuckles whitening, the bristles pausing mid-stroke as your breath shudders slightlyātoo shallow, too uneven.
something itches in his chest. for the first time all night, he frowns.
āhey,ā he says, sitting up, his phone forgotten beside him. āid you even eat today?ā
"āhuh?ā
your reaction is delayed, your head turning toward him like it takes effort to shift your focus. you blink at him, slow, eyes unfocused, as if youāre still caught between here and the painting, like you donāt quite register what heās saying.
thenāthe brush slips from your fingers. before he even registers whatās happeningāyou sway.
his heart stops. then heās off the bed in an instant, faster than thought, hands reaching, catching you before you can hit the ground.
āwoah, woahāhey.ā his voice is too sharp, too urgent, nothing like his usual lazy drawl. one arm curls around your waist, steadying you, while the other grips your wrist, fingers pressing against the faint pulse beneath your skin. youāre too light in his hold, your weight sinking into him like you canāt hold yourself up.
your head lolls against his chest, and he barely registers the faint smudge of paint you leave on his hoodie becauseāyouāre not responding.
panic flares white-hot in his gut.
āokay, no. you donāt get to just faint on me,ā he mutters, adjusting his grip, his breath coming quicker than heād like. he taps your cheek lightly, the warmth of your skin too cool against his fingertips. āwake up, idiot.ā
you groan softly, brows pinching together, your expression twisting like even the act of regaining consciousness is too much effort.
ā...māfine,ā you mumble, barely coherent, words slow and heavy like your tongue canāt quite keep up.
satoru lets out a sharp breath, his grip on you tight but careful, like heās still processing the fact that he had to catch you in the first place. āoh, yeah? yeah? that why you just dropped like a damn sack of flour?ā his voice is sharp, edged with something thatās not quite annoyance, not quite panic, something he doesnāt know what to do with.
you donāt answer.
his jaw tightens, muscles flexing as he exhales through his nose, his chest rising and falling too fast, too unevenly. without another word, he shifts, carefully maneuvering you onto your bed, his movements stiff, deliberate, too controlled.
āunbelievable,ā he grumbles under his breath, pulling the blanket over you with a little more force than necessary. āwho even does this? who just forgets to function?ā
you mumble something unintelligible, your voice so soft that it barely even reaches him, your eyes fluttering open just enough to meet his. theyāre glassy, unfocused, struggling to stay on him, and for some reason, that frustrates him even more.
satoru exhales sharply, running a hand over his face before pushing his hair back, his fingers tangling into the damp strands at the nape of his neck. after a beat, he crouches beside the bed, forearms resting on his knees, his gaze steady as he studies you.
āyou okay?ā his voice is quieter now, but thereās an edge beneath it, something pressing.
āā¦māfine,ā you repeat, voice barely above a whisper, but you donāt even sound like you believe it.
his eyes narrow.
āyou literally just passed out.ā his tone is flat, unimpressed, laced with something dangerously close to concern. ātry again.ā
you blink slowly, like it takes effort, like you have to search for the words. āā¦just⦠tired..ā you admit, the syllables slipping together as your lashes flutter, fighting to stay awake.
he doesnāt like the way that sounds.
āyeah, no shit.ā
you shift slightly, eyes slipping shut again, breath evening out, and he presses his lips together, watching you too closely, his expression unreadable. his fingers twitch against his knee, like thereās something else he wants to say, something else he wants to do.
then, quieterālike heās speaking more to himself than to youāāyou gotta stop this.ā
you hum softly in response, already half-asleep, your breathing slow, steady, but heās still watching you, still too aware of how small you look like this, how fragile you felt in his arms.
but he means it. you canāt keep doing this. canāt keep running yourself into the ground, pushing past your limits like they donāt exist.
he wonāt let you.
his arms remain loosely folded over his knees, but his fingers tap restlessly against his leg, his jaw tight. his hoodie is still stained with the smudge of paint from where your head rested against him, but he doesnāt move to wipe it off. instead, he watches the slow rise and fall of your chest, the faint crease between your brows even in sleep, like youāre still carrying the weight of exhaustion. he exhales, rubs a hand over his face, then reaches for the blanket crumpled at the edge of the bed and drapes it over you, movements slow, careful.
he stays until heās sure youāre really resting.
whenĀ you wake up, the first thing you notice is the blanket draped over you. the second thing you notice is the smell of something warm, something fresh.
your fingers twitch against the fabric, gripping the edge of the blanket like youāre grounding yourself, like youāre trying to make sense of where you are. your head feels heavy, dull with leftover exhaustion, but thereās something comforting in the warmth pressed against your legs, the scent curling into the cold air. you blink blearily, sitting up, and thereā
satoru, on your floor, typing away on his phone. beside him, a steaming cup of instant miso soup sits on your desk.
his back is against the bed frame, legs stretched out, hair a mess of uneven strands where his fingers mustāve run through it too many times. his hoodie hangs loose on his frame, sleeves pushed up just enough to expose the sharp cut of his forearms, and when he hears you shift, he glances upāexpression unreadable, gaze sharp but softer than usual.
āyouāre awake,ā he says, this time without looking away, without the usual smug edge to his voice.
satoru's eyes flicker over your face, assessing, sharp but softer than usual, like heās searching for somethingāproof that youāre really okay, that youāre here, conscious, breathing. his posture is relaxed, but thereās something unnaturally still about him, like he hasnāt quite settled since you collapsed. the glow from your desk lamp casts uneven shadows across his face, catching on the messy strands of his hair, the faint crease between his brows.
ā...what happened?ā your voice is hoarse, rough around the edges, like youāve been asleep for much longer than you should have. you shift under the blanket, fingers tightening around the fabric, the weight of exhaustion still pressing against your limbs.
he gives you a flat, unimpressed look.
āyou died.ā
you blink at him, lips parting slightlyāstunned, too tired to argue.
he holds your gaze for half a second longer before exhaling, reaching for the cup on your desk. ā...briefly,ā he amends, his fingers barely touching the ceramic as he pushes it toward you, the soft scrape of porcelain against wood filling the quiet space between you. ādrink. before you die again.ā
your fingers curl around the warmth, hesitating for just a second before lifting it. the heat seeps into your palms, steadying, grounding, and for some reason, your chest tightens in a way you donāt want to name.
you take a slow sip, the warmth spreading through your bones, reaching into the cold, exhausted parts of you that you hadnāt even realized were there.
āthanks,ā you mumble, voice quieter now, the steam from the soup curling into the cold air between you.
satoru shrugs, but his gaze lingers, watching you a little too closely, a little too long, like heās waiting for something. thereās no teasing grin, no smart remarkājust a quiet, unreadable weight in the way he looks at you. his fingers tap absently against his knee, the rhythm uneven, restless, like thereās something on the tip of his tongue that heās still deciding whether or not to say.
thenā"you know," he starts, voice too casual, too calculated, like heās testing the waters before fully stepping in. "you never let me see your sketchbook."
your grip tightens slightly around the cup, the warmth pressing against your palms, suddenly too much, too distracting.
he notices.
satoru's gaze flickers downājust for a second, brief but deliberateābefore meeting yours again, sharper now, curiosity replacing the usual lazy amusement in his expression. the teasing edge is gone, replaced by something steadier, something unreadable. āwhy is that?
āā¦no reason,ā you lie, shifting under his stare, trying to appear unaffected. but the soup in your hands is suddenly too warm, too grounding, your fingers curling tighter around the ceramic like it might steady you. you can feel the weight of his attention, the way heās watching you too closely, too intently, like heās waiting for the cracks to show.
his brows lift, his expression flat, unimpressed. ābullshit.ā
you scowl, gripping your soup tighter, like itāll shield you from this conversation, like it might somehow block him from seeing through you.
āitās private.ā
āso? iām literally the subject,ā he argues, leaning forward slightly, elbows resting on his knees, his presence suddenly heavier, more insistent. āi should get at least a sneak peek.ā
āno.ā
his eyes narrow slightly, the corner of his lip twitching like heās already planning a new approach. āwhy?ā
ābecause,ā you say, and thatās all you give him. because you donāt know how to explain it. because you donāt want to.
his lips press into a thin line, his gaze lingering just a little too long, just sharp enough to make you shift under the weight of it.
a challenge.
but youāre still half-buried in exhaustion, your limbs too heavy, your mind still foggy, and he knows it.
so after a beat, satoru exhales through his nose, then leans back against the bed again, arms folding behind his head, stretching out like heās already decided this conversation isnāt over.
āfine. for now,ā he says, voice light, easy. but thereās something about the way he says itāsomething low, something certain, like a promise rather than a concession.
you glare at him, because you know himāknow the way his mind works, know that he never lets things go, never drops anything without a reason. you see the way his grin lingers, the way it tugs at the corner of his mouth just slightly off-kilter, like heās already planning his next move. itās not a matter of if heāll bring this up againāitās when.
he grins wider, because he knows you know. because youāre predictable in a way that amuses him, in a way that keeps him entertained. youāre trying too hard to brush this off, to pretend like the question doesnāt rattle something inside you, but heās always been good at noticing the little things. your avoidance, your tight grip on the cup, the way your shoulders stiffen just slightly whenever he pushes too close.
and just like that, the weight of the moment lifts, the air turning lighter again, slipping back into something familiar. you take another sip of the miso soup, the heat seeping through your fingers, spreading through your chest, anchoring you in the quiet. satoru shifts, arms still behind his head, gaze flickering away from you for onceāout the window, toward the sky, toward the city beyond.
outside, the wind rattles the glass, slipping through the cracks, curling into the room like the first whisper of something colder.
autumn is ending. and winter is near.
WINTER has settled in, quiet but undeniable.
the air is colder, sharper, slipping through the cracks of your dorm window no matter how tightly you close it. the ground outside is dusted in frost, the once-vibrant autumn leaves now forgotten beneath slushy sidewalks and the occasional crunch of ice. campus is emptier now, students retreating home for winter break, leaving the dorms quieter, the hallways less crowded, less alive.
but heās in your dorm all the time now.
it started with quick drop-ins after gamesāan excuse to complain about how sore he was, to stretch out on your floor like a lazy cat, to toss you a snack without explanation. then it turned into late-night visits when he had nowhere better to beāuntil, eventually, he stopped pretending he needed a reason at all.
your dorm isnāt much, just a tiny room barely big enough for the both of you, but somehow, itās become his space, too.
he kicks his shoes off without thinking, leaves his jacket slung over your chair like it belongs there, flops onto your bed without asking. he always brings something with himāsometimes food, sometimes a new brand of tea he insists you try, sometimes just the lingering warmth of conversation when the room feels too quiet.
(you complain about it. āthis is not a hangout spot.ā āstop making a mess on my desk.ā āfor the last time, satoru, my bed is not your personal couch.ā but you never actually tell him to leave.)
and lately, you seem less exhausted when heās here.
finals are over. winter break has started. the campus is quieter, the stress that had settled into your shoulders finally lifting, loosening its grip.
you still overwork yourself, still get lost in your paintings for hours, but youāre taking care of yourself now, too.
he sees it in the way you actually eat full meals instead of just instant noodles. in the way you donāt fight him when he shoves a bottle of water into your hands. in the way youāve stopped waking up with smudged paint on your cheek from falling asleep at your desk.
heās proud of you. not that heād ever say it out loud. maybe one day. but for now, heāll just keep showing up.
tonight, though, youāre running late.
some meeting for an art exhibition, something you were weirdly cagey about when he asked. you had waved him off, barely sparing him a glance as you gathered your things in a rush, stuffing papers into your bag, adjusting your coat with hurried movements. he had teased youāālook at you, so professional. should I start calling you sensei?āābut you had just rolled your eyes, muttered something about being late, and disappeared out the door.
he almost doesnāt notice at first, too busy digging through a plastic bag of snacks he brought for you, tossing a pack onto your desk, then tearing open another for himself. he stretches out against your bed frame, one knee propped up, his phone in one hand, snacks in the other, making himself comfortable in the way he always does. your absence doesnāt bother himāyouāll be back soon, and besides, heās already claimed this space as his own.
but thenāhis eyes flicker to your desk. to your sketchbook.
itās right there.
heās been curious for months.
heās seen the way you snap it shut the second he moves too close, how you always turn it facedown, tuck it under your arm, keep it pressed against your chest when you leave a room. itās deliberate, protective, like it holds something you donāt want him to seeāsomething more than just rough sketches from your sessions.
and heās been good. heās been patient. but now? now, heās alone. and, wellāwhatās the harm in taking a little peek?
his fingers brush the cover, hesitating for just a secondāa quiet moment of restraint before curiosity wins out. then, with one last glance at the door to make sure youāre not back yetāhe flips it open.
he expects sketches of his poses from your sessions. the usual. the planned. the predictable.
what he doesnāt expect isāpages and pages of him.
not the carefully composed ones, not the ones youād shown him before. no, these are different. the lines are loose, unpolished, realālike you werenāt drawing to impress anyone, like you were just trying to capture something before it slipped away.
his fingers still against the page, breath catching slightly, pulse stuttering in a way he doesnāt understand. his own face stares back at him, over and over again, not the carefully arranged expressions from your sessions, but the ones he didnāt know you were paying attention to.
him, tying his shoes before a game, the curve of his shoulders loose and relaxed. him, tossing his head back, laughing, mouth open, eyes crinkledādrawn in a way that makes him look softer than heās used to. next to it, in small, slanted handwriting: āloudest laugh in the world.ā
satoru exhales slowly, flipping the page, movements quieter now, more deliberate.
him, spinning a basketball on his fingertip, drawn from multiple angles like you were trying to get it just right. him, leaning against your dorm room wall, arms crossed, head tilted, gaze sharp but amusedālike heās in the middle of teasing you. his eyes flick to the corner, where youāve written, āalways watching. annoyingly perceptive.ā
he huffs out a quiet breathānot quite a laugh, not quite anything. his throat feels tight.
he turns another page, his fingers careful now, almost hesitant. a corner of a napkin peeks outāhe pulls it loose, unfolding it carefully. a quick, half-finished sketch of him mid-sprint, lines rushed, motion barely captured, next to a coffee-stained note that just says: ātoo fast to draw. unfair.ā
his lips part slightly, breath catching at the words, at the fact that you even tried.
another, taped messily into the spine of the bookāa full-body drawing of him from behind, hoodie pulled up, hands in his pockets, walking away. āsomehow takes up more space than anyone else.ā you wrote in the margins, the ink slightly smudged, like you had run your fingers over it absentmindedly.
he swallows, jaw tightening. his thumb brushes the edge of the page, lingering there, like if he just holds still, heāll figure out what to do with the way his chest feels too full, too tight.e because thisāthis isnāt simply a collection of sketches. this is him, through your eyes.
and thenāhe flips another page. this one is different.
not a quick sketch, not a half-finished doodle on the edge of a napkin, not something you scribbled in passing. a full portrait. detailed, deliberate, like you took your time with it. like you wanted to get it exactly right.
he recognizes the jersey immediatelyāitās from last week, when he had come over grumbling about practice, throwing himself onto your bed like it was his own, arms sprawled out, eyes shut, muttering about how being the best was exhausting. he remembers laughing, remembers the weight of your gaze on him, remembers teasing you about how you were always staring anyway.
but thisāthis means you had watched him even longer. the expression you capturedāitās him, but itās softer. relaxed. comfortable. unaware.
oh.
his fingers pause against the edge of the paper, grip tightening just slightly.
but you couldnāt have done all this in front of him without him noticing. youāre always preoccupied, always doing something else whenever heās aroundānever reaching for your sketchbook. had you drawn this only after he left? had you memorized these moments, watched him for far longer than he realized, until you could capture him this accurately?
his stomach does something weird again.
like a sharp twist of something unfamiliar, something heavy, something he doesnāt quite know what to do with. his throat feels tight, his pulse uneven, a strange warmth creeping into his chest and settling there, stubborn and unmoving.
his gaze lingers on the portrait, taking in the detailsāthe careful shading of his jawline, the way his hair looks slightly messier than usual, the way his arms are draped carelessly over the sheets. he looks like he belongs there.
he swallows, jaw tightening. because he does.
he hears your footsteps before the door even opensāthe soft, familiar rhythm of them padding down the hall, the faint rustle of your coat as you shift, the quiet exhale you always let out before stepping inside.
the door creaks open gently, slow and careful, like youāre trying not to startle the silence of the room. āiām home,ā you say softly, the words barely past your lips before you step inside.
but satoru isnāt paying attention. because his heart is still racing, his hands are still gripping the sketchbook, and heās way too fucking giddy to think of a way to get rid of his crime in time.
you take two steps in before your gaze lands on himāseated on your bed, sketchbook open in his hands, looking like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar. your expression shifts in an instantārelaxed to confused to absolutely horrified.
āsatoru, what are youāā your voice cuts off mid-sentence, sharp and sudden, like you physically canāt finish.
he looks up at you, eyes bright with mischief, lips already curling into a grin, the kind that spells nothing but trouble. fingers still pressed against the pages, holding them open like evidence, like proof. thenācasually, effortlessly, like he didnāt just get caught red-handedāāyou like me.ā
you freeze, body going rigid, fingers twitching at your sides like you donāt know whether to snatch the book back or bolt.
he tilts his head, grin widening, flipping through the pages with exaggerated slowness, dragging out your suffering. āand here i thought you only liked me for my bone structureāā
āgive it back.ā your voice comes out too fast, too sharp, laced with something close to panic.
he laughs, flipping another page, gaze flicking between the sketches and your rapidly reddening face. āso you have been staring.ā
"satoruā" you take a step forward, but he just leans back against the bed, completely unbothered, holding the sketchbook out of reach.
āoh, this oneās nice,ā he teases, holding up the sketch of him mid-game, spinning the book slightly between his fingers like heās inspecting it. āwas this from last week? so you were watching me train and not just pretending to be absorbed in your sketchbookāā
āi was drawing!āā
āādrawing me.ā his voice is light, teasing, but thereās something else under itāsomething quieter, something warmer, something dangerously close to fondness.
you snatch the sketchbook out of his hands so fast it nearly smacks him in the face.
he expects you to yell at him. maybe shove him. maybe even hit him with the sketchbook. but instead your expression twists, your cheeks burning, lips parting like you want to say something but canāt, and before he can react, before he can stop youāyou groan and slam the sketchbook back to your bed, turn on your heel and leave.
āheyā!ā he scrambles after you, nearly tripping over a stack of books, nearly sending an entire pile of papers flying, nearly proving why you never let him near your workspace unsupervised. his breath comes out in sharp puffs of white against the cold air, but he barely notices, too focused on closing the distance between you, on the way your shoulders are stiff, the way you move like youāre fighting the urge to break into a full sprint.
outside, the first real snowfall of the season is drifting down, dusting the campus in white, clinging to the bare branches, softening the edges of the world. but youāre too preoccupied with storming away to notice, too caught up in your own mortification to care.
āoh, come on,ā satoru groans, catching up with long, easy strides, like this isnāt a crisis, like this isnāt your worst nightmare unfolding in real time. ādonāt just run awayāā
āi am not running away.ā
āyou totally are.ā
āiā!ā you whirl around so fast he nearly crashes into you, nearly walks straight into your personal space like an idiot. he stops just short, breath catching slightly, eyes flicking down to the tiny sliver of space left between you.
the air is cold between you, breath visible in the space that suddenly feels too charged, too warm despite the winter creeping in.
your arms are crossed so tightly it looks like youāre holding yourself together, like if you let go, you might actually combust from sheer embarrassment.
āyouāre soāā you huff, flustered, frustrated, desperate to change the subject, desperate to claw back even a fraction of your dignity.
āhandsome? charming? incredibly kissableāā
āāinfuriating!ā
he just grins, all teeth and shameless amusement, because youāre easy to read now. because no matter how much you glare at him, your ears are pink, your fingers are twitching, your weight is shifting like you want to run again but canāt bring yourself to.
āyou like me,ā he says again, softer this time. more certain.
you donāt answer.
snowflakes land on your lashes, catching in your hair, melting against your skin. your lips are parted like you want to argue, but nothing comes out. your eyes are too bright, too wide, too caught between wanting to flee and wanting to stay.
satoru gojo is not known for his restraint.
so, naturally, he kisses you.
he moves before he can think, before he can overcomplicate it, before you can run again. his head tilts, his breath warm against your skin, and thenāhe leans down, slow, deliberate, giving you every chance to pull away.
but you donāt.
and ohāoh.
his lips are warm despite the cold, despite the way the winter air bites at your skin, despite the snowflakes melting between you. his eyelashes flutter against his cheeks when he closes his eyes, those impossibly bright baby blues disappearing beneath pale lashes. he doesnāt rush, doesnāt tease, doesnāt turn it into something playful. for once, he takes his time.
his free hand lifts just slightly, like he wants to cup your cheek, like he wants to hold you there, but at the last second, he hesitates. instead, his fingers curl lightly around your wrist, grounding, steady, just enough pressure to keep you from slipping away.
you freeze for half a second.
then, you melt.
your breath stutters, your fingers gripping at the fabric of his uniform, hesitant at first, then firmer, anchoring yourself to him. your body tilts forward, just the slightest bit, just enough to tell himāyes.
and heās already grinning into the kiss, absolutely insufferable, because he knew it. because he knew you wouldnāt pull away. because he knew you liked him.
when you finally pull back, breathless, he doesnāt let you go.
doesnāt want to.
his grip on your wrist stays firm, not tight, not demanding, just enough to keep you here, to keep you in this moment a little longer. his breath is warm against your skin, fanning softly over your lips, his fingers twitching like heās debating pulling you back in.
āso,ā he murmurs, forehead pressing against yours, nose barely grazing your own, āare you gonna admit it now, or do i have to go through another sketchbookās worth of proof?ā
your fingers tighten slightly around his sleeve, your heart hammering against your ribs like itās trying to escape, like itās trying to make up for every second you spent pretending this wasnāt real. your cheeks are burning, the cold doing nothing to help, but stillāyou force yourself to meet his gaze, to stare straight into those impossibly bright baby blues.
āā¦i do.ā
his breath hitches.
āyou⦠do?ā
āi like you,ā you clarify, somehow both firmer and shyer at the same time, words tumbling out too fast and too soft. then, before he can say anything stupidāānow you say it.ā
his grin faltersānot in amusement, not in teasing, but in something softer, something fonder, something that makes your stomach flip.
āi like you,ā he repeats, like itās the easiest thing in the world, like he never doubted it for a second. his ears are pink, his fingers twitch against your wrist, but his voice stays steady, stays sure. āa lot.ā
your stomach twists, your face burns, and before he can get even more unbearably smug about it, you shove him, pushing at his chest with more force than necessary, just to wipe the grin off his face.
he laughs, stumbling back a step but still holding onto your wrist, still looking at you like youāve just handed him the greatest win of his life.
but this time, you donāt walk away.
instead, you sigh, shaking your head as you grab his sleeve properly and start pulling him back toward your dorm, fingers curling around the fabric like youāre holding on without realizing it.
āwhat, no dramatic speech about how i misread everything?ā he teases, falling into step beside you, his free hand slipping lazily into his pocket.
āshut up,ā you mumble, voice muffled by the scarf youāve pulled higher over your face, like itāll somehow hide the warmth still lingering in your cheeks.
āsoooo,ā he drawls, bumping his shoulder against yours, ādoes this mean iām officially your muse and your boyfriend now? multi-purpose?ā
āno.ā
ācold.ā
he laughs, and itās light, easy, painfully warm despite the winter air, like itās found a home between you, settling there without permission. his breath fogs in the cold, but the space between you feels warmer somehow, lighter, like the weight of something unspoken has finally lifted. his steps are relaxed now, shoulders looser, head tilting toward you every so oftenāa quiet, effortless gravity pulling him closer, even when he doesnāt realize it.
when you get back to your dorm, he kicks off his shoes like always, sending them haphazardly toward the corner. shrugs off his jacket like always, barely looking where it lands. flops onto your bed like always, stretching out like he owns the place, arms behind his head, hair messy from the wind.
but this time, you roll your eyes and curl up beside him, too.
he doesnāt say anything about it, doesnāt tease, doesnāt even try to fight the smug grin tugging at his lips. he just shifts, adjusting without thinking, making room like heās been waiting for thisālike youāve belonged there all along.
when he tucks his arm around you without thinking, you donāt complain.
when you mumble, half-asleep, voice softer than usual, āthanks for taking care of me.ā he just hums, low and content, the sound barely more than a vibration against your skin. his fingers move without thought, absentmindedly tracing slow, lazy circles against your back, the rhythm steady, grounding.
when he presses a lazy kiss to the top of your head, breath catching just slightly against your hair, you donāt push him away.
outside, the snow keeps falling, soft and slow, blanketing the world in quiet. winter settles in around you. and for once, you let yourself rest.
the last of WINTER lingers in the early mornings, cold air curling against skin, clinging to rooftops, biting at fingertips. but the afternoons are warming up, the sun stretching a little higher in the sky, melting the ice that once lined the sidewalks. students swap heavy coats for lighter jackets, trading chattering teeth for the kind of energy that only comes with knowing winter is finally loosening its grip. cherry blossoms are just beginning to bud, hesitant, as if uncertain the cold is truly gone.
campus is filling up again. winter break is over. the once-quiet halls are alive with movement, voices overlapping, footsteps echoing against tile, the hum of life creeping back in. the scent of freshly brewed coffee drifts from the cafƩs, mingling with the crisp air, a sure sign that students are shaking off their winter sluggishness.
and satoru gojo is a public menace.
he was already bad enough as their universityās basketball star before. always loud, always impossible to ignore, always moving through campus like he owned it, like he was more event than person, someone you watched because you couldnāt help it. with that ridiculous, effortless kind of charm, all long limbs and easy smiles, like heād never once known the weight of the world.
but now? now, he has a girlfriend. and now, he has you. and he makes sure everyone knows.
āmy beloved!ā
his voice slices through the courtyard like a warning bell, sharp and unmistakable, sending heads turning with an almost comical synchronicity. heās leaning against a vending machine when you spot him, his navy varsity jacket loose over his shoulders, white t-shirt just barely clinging to the lean muscle beneath. his hair is a mess of soft white strands, tousled from the windāor maybe practiceābut his grin is bright, his blue eyes locked onto you with alarming precision.
you freeze for half a secondājust halfābut thatās all it takes for him to zero in on you, and you can feel the shift in the air, the heat of his gaze on your back as if heās been waiting for this moment all along. the sound of his footsteps quicken, and before you know it, the familiar, teasing voice slices through the space between you.
ālovey! sweetheart! honeybunch sugarplumāā
you donāt even hesitate. the instinct to escape rises up, and you walk faster, head forward, eyes fixed on some imaginary point in the distance. itās an old trick, pretending like if you just focus hard enough on something far away, you can ignore the fact that satoru gojo is loudly, dramatically, chasing after you like some over-the-top rom-com hero.
āstop it.ā your teeth grind together, a faint blush creeping up your neck as you force your shoulders to stay stiff, trying to hold onto whatever dignity you have left.
he laughs, delighted by your discomfort, the sound almost echoing in the quiet space. with a lazy, unbothered air, he shoves his hands into his pockets and easily falls into step beside you. his white hair is still a mess from practice, some strands falling into his eyes, but he looks effortless, like he hasnāt even broken a sweat. āyou wound me, darling.ā
āi am not doing this with you.ā you mutter under your breath, barely glancing at him, hoping that if you ignore him long enough, heāll just go away. but itās futile.
heās faster. itās always the same. his long legs carry him with a grace that shouldnāt be possible for someone so tall, and with barely any effort, heās at your side, matching your pace, his grin stretching impossibly wide. his head tilts slightly, his white hair falling over his eyes in that way youāve come to recognize so wellāshifting and effortlessly falling into place. his blue eyes catch the light, looking so damn intense, you canāt help but notice the way they gleam through the long lashes, unguarded and almost playful.
āstarlight, love of my life, future mother of my childrenāā
you stop mid-step, throwing him a sharp look, and his smile only widens at your frustration. āsatoru.ā
he gasps, clutching his chest in mock horror, eyes widening as if youāve physically hurt him. he stumbles back a step, just for effect, and lets out an exaggerated sigh. āare youāā his voice drops to a dramatic whisper, his expression feigning scandal as he leans in closer. āare you ashamed of me?ā
your jaw tightens, the irritation mixing with something else youād rather not address. āi would like for people to know quietly.ā
satoru halts mid-step, his hand flying to his chest as if youāve just ripped out his heart. his face contorts into exaggerated pain as if youāve just shattered him with a single sentence. āyouāyou donāt want to scream our love from the rooftops? you donāt want the whole world to know how much you adore me?ā he flutters his fingers dramatically in the air as if visualizing the grand spectacle of it all.
you groan, shoving your hands into your pockets, doing your best to ignore the amused glances and curious whispers around you. itās not bad, really. the attention.
you had expectedāwell. you donāt know what you expected. for people to react badly? for them to wonder why heās with you, of all people?
but mostly, people are just⦠surprised. conversations halt mid-sentence, heads whip around for second and third takes, and whispered speculations weave through the air like static electricity.
a lot of:
āwait. gojo has a girlfriend? for real?ā
ādamn, i thought he was just messing around.ā
āno way. no actual way.ā
a handful of utterly devastated fangirls, clutching their textbooks like lifelines, staring as if their world has just come crashing down. but no one says anything cruel. no one scoffs or sneers. no one looks at you like you donāt belong next to him.
itās a little overwhelming. but not awful. just⦠loud. and satoru? he thrives in it.
heās absolutely ridiculous about it, keeps throwing his arm around your shoulders, keeps making a show of lacing his fingers through yours, keeps finding ways to bring it up in conversations that have nothing to do with him. when youāre walking together, he tugs you just a little closer, just a little tighter, like he wants everyone on campus to see. his hand is always finding its way to your waist, resting there like it belongs, fingers tapping idly against the fabric of your sweater. sometimes, when heās feeling particularly dramatic, heāll spin you around in the middle of the hallway, dipping you like youāre in the final scene of a romance movie, just because he can.
and youāearnest, quiet, and in love despite yourselfāyou let him.
you donāt indulge him the same way he does you. your affections are smaller, tucked between the spaces he leaves, a quiet echo to his relentless declarations. but you donāt pull away when he leans into you. you donāt protest when he sneaks his fingers through yours. and when you think no oneās looking, when his head is turned just so, when heās grinning at something dumb and impossibly satoru, you let yourself look at him the way he looks at you.
one time, in the middle of lunch, he just sighs dramatically, leaning back in his chair, stretching his arms like the weight of the world is on his shoulders. his white hair is a mess from practice, sweat-damp at the nape of his neck, but he still looks effortless, still looks like he belongs under the sun, basking in the warmth of his own theatrics. he exhales, long and suffering, tilting his head back so far his chair almost tips. and then, with all the weight of the universe pressing down on his chest, he declares;
āman, having a girlfriend is crazy.ā
you donāt even look up from your sketchbook. youāre used to this. you barely even blink anymore when he starts talking like the main character in a tragic love story. āyou literally asked for this.ā
āyeah, but still.ā
he hums, thoughtful, like heās truly pondering the gravity of his situationāthen abruptly flops onto your lap, draping himself across you like heās meant to be there. his head lands against your stomach, arms sprawled, legs stretched out across the bench, the weight of him pressing down on you like an overgrown cat. his hair tickles your wrist, and when you peer down, his eyes are already on you, bright and full of trouble. heās grinning, of course heās grinning, his lips twitching like heās barely holding back a laugh.
you grunt under the sudden weight, the pressure of his body settling onto you like a heavy, careless blanket. you barely stop yourself from elbowing him off, your muscles tensing from the surprise, but heās already too comfortable, sprawled across your lap with a dramatic sigh. āget off me.ā
āno.ā
he sounds so certain, so annoyingly nonchalant as he rests his head on your stomach, his hair messy from practice, damp strands sticking to his forehead like a defiant halo. you sigh through your nose, fingers tightening around your pencil, the sharp tip pressing against the paper as if it could ground you. āwhat do you want.ā
āyou know,ā he says, his voice light, almost sing-song, as his head tilts just enough to meet your gaze, those ridiculously bright, ridiculously smug baby blues peering up at you with a look thatās both teasing and entirely too pleased with himself. āyou kinda have a responsibility now.ā
your sigh is louder this time, escaping through your nose as you flip to a new page in your sketchbook, trying to ignore the weight of him and the pull of his presence. you shift a little beneath him, adjusting to make space as your gaze flickers down at him. āwhat responsibility.ā
he doesnāt move, doesnāt break the casual pose, his arms still spread wide like heās claiming the space between you, his legs stretched comfortably across the bench, his fingers tapping lightly against your stomach. āyou have to come to all my games. non-negotiable.ā
you finally glance down at him, unimpressed, but your eyes soften just a little when you see the way heās looking up at you, his grin wide, eyes twinkling like heās saying something thatās a matter of life and death. you roll your eyes but canāt help the quiet smile that tugs at the corners of your mouth. āall of them?ā
āyes. all.ā
you blink at him, your hand drifting to your lap, pressing down the fluttering feeling in your chest, the soft affection you try so hard to keep from spilling over. ābut i already go to most of themāā
āall. of. them.ā his tone is firm now, a little playful but undeniably serious, his finger poking at your side like a reminder of his claim over your attention. he lifts his head just slightly, his lips pulling into a smirk thatās far too smug for anyone's good, and you know, without a doubt, that heās completely and utterly certain of his win.
you sigh, louder this time, rolling your eyes as he grins up at you like heās already won. his hair is soft when your fingers brush against it, a stray lock falling over his forehead as he waits, expectant. you hesitate for just a second, then let your fingers linger a beat longer than necessary, smoothing it back into place. āand why, exactly?ā
his smirk falters, just for a fraction of a second. almost imperceptible. but you catch it, the flicker of something softer beneath the bravado, the way his throat bobs slightly before he answers.
ābecause you have to witness your incredibly talented, best-athlete-on-campus boyfriend in action, obviously.ā
āobviously.ā
āplus,ā he adds, reaching up to poke your cheek with the most obnoxious little tap, āi play better when youāre there.ā
your fingers tighten around your pencil, just slightly. you donāt answer immediately, because if you do, it might come out too soft, too earnest, too much. but your lips press together, and your gaze lingers, and when you finally murmur, āā¦is that true, or are you just saying that?ā it sounds quieter than you mean it to.
his grin widens, eyes gleaming, mischief and sincerity tangled together like a promise. āguess youāll have to keep coming to find out, huh?ā
you shove his face away.
but later, when his attention is stolen by something elseāwhen heās laughing with his friends or zoning out as he stretchesā you find your gaze lingering, the subtle shift of your focus as you tilt your head. your eyes trace the smooth curve of his cheek, the way the sunlight catches in his hair, making the white strands look like a halo around his face. thereās the easy slope of his shoulders, the way he leans back with that effortless confidence, his legs stretched out over the bench like he owns every inch of space around him. you notice all these things in the quiet moments when heās not looking, and itās almost like a secret you keep tucked away.
and then you think, helplessly, hopelesslyā he plays better because heās looking for you. it's not just the game heās focused on. itās the stands, itās you. and for all his teasing, all his dramatic declarations, thereās this undercurrent you canāt denyāthat he needs you there, in that spot, where his eyes always find yours.
you go to all his games anyway. itās not a question, not a choice. you sit in the stands, your eyes fixed on the court, but your mind elsewhere, always waiting, always watching. every time, without fail, he looks for you before tip-off, and the moment he spots you, his expression shiftsājust the faintest change in the curve of his lips, the way his eyes brighten as if heās found something precious. every time, he finds you, like thereās no other place he would rather be. every time, he grins that obnoxious, confident grin, the one that says heās already won, that he knows youāre there, and thatās enough.
spring creeps in. the last of the cold melts away, and you notice how the days stretch longer, how the warmth settles in your bones as everything begins to bloom around you.
and satoru gojo never stops being loud about loving you, his voice always rising above the noise, always unafraid of being seen. and you, quiet as you are, never stop loving him right back, holding it all in the space between the moments, where words arenāt necessary.
a/n: i would like to formally announce that i was this close to killing her off in winter via tragic anemia-induced collapse, but in a rare act of mercy, i decided against it. as such, i will be accepting 100-word minimum essays filled with gratitude in the comments. failure to comply may result in me rethinking my generosity. choose wisely.
kidding aside, im glad i finally got this fic out of my draftsāthis has been rotting and slowly cooking since the episode with satoru playing basketball releasedš idk much about western school year so i apologize if the schedule is all wrong! i only relied to google writing this. not like they will read this but i still wanna thanks my homeboys for helping me write the basketball scene, i definitely needed that <3 im not an artist so i apologize if there are any misconceptions in my fic^^
šš» šš¼šš¶š»š“ š š²šŗš¼šæš š¼š³ šš®šŗš²šæš¼š» šš¼šš°š² (1999-2019)
I was searching through Genius and I stumbled across the unreleased songs so i decided to make a unreleased masterpost. I tried to find an acceptable version of the songs since most of them are live versions they played before the first album came out.
Bad Dreams aka the fetus Calum solo songĀ
I Canāt Remember aka the most Australian Cal and Mike have ever sound like
Teenage Queen aka the Keek leaked song
Superhero aka is this about Mike?Ā
Over and Over aka why the hell did they killed this song? this is my fav unreleased
Perfect Disguise aka Invisible 1.0?
Iāve Got This Friend aka Heartbreak Girl part 2 or Can they get out of friendzone?
All I Need aka why the hell did they killed this song 2
Everything I Want aka WHY DID THEY KILLED THIS SONG????? another link for acoustic version on a park another link without the laugh of the first one but lots of screams
Bonus Hearts Upon Our Sleeve, not exactly unreleased
Link for na youtube playlist with all of them
Chuuya would never but I can dream that he's comfortable enough to react like this infront of Mori -v-
Watch it in video
Follow us on Tumblr
I feel like Soukoku takes such an important place in so many peoples hearts because weāve never seen a dynamic like theirs before.
They saved each other, then they destroyed each other, and now theyāre slowly putting each other back together.
Like they hate each other, but theyāll die for one another. They hate being around each other, but you canāt have one without the other. They were born natural enemies, but they were born to be partners too. They want to hurt each other, but they come to the rescue when one of them is in danger. They would rather work with anyone else, but the only ones who can understand them are each other.
You canāt find another relationship as complex and controversial as Soukoku and I think thatās why it has such an appeal. They have a forbidden love like Romeo and Juliet, but they donāt even want to be together in the first place even though no one will trust or care for the other in the ways that they can.