Why Do People Romanticize Loneliness And Sadness And Depression So Much? It Isnt funny Or Beautiful

⋆｡°✩ neighbor; gojo satoru pt. 2

★°。 shouldn't have given your number to your noisy neighbor, now he won't leave‎‎‎‎‎ you alone.

PART ONE

★°。suggestive | crack | fluff

★°。warning(s): 2 kys jokes | it's implied they did the nasty lol, reader wears a thong idk if that needs a warning or not🧍‍♀️| I doubt anyone will care but the joke in the final pic is NOT meant to be a fat joke it is very much a joke about his height and I didn't realize till after I wrote it that it sounded that way so pls beware 🧎‍♀️

★°。note(s): this just turned into crack boyfriend texts LMAOO <3 gonna be so honest I had no plan for this so pls forgive that I rushed to end it🧎‍♀️‍➡️I’ll make a better one soon! I'm gonna go work on an smau and some oneshots I think but thank you for the love !! you guys are so sweet ;( pls ignore any spelling mistakes, I'm just a girl

if you saw me say this would be posted two days ago no you didn't cause I never said that (there was a snowstorm where I live so I was fighting for my life also I listened to do it again by Pia Mia while writing this)

Fyodor wanderer is my new religion.

That shit hurted

everythingoes | kth & jjk

Summary: He is all the things you feel when fireworks light up the night sky. But everything is temporary and everything goes, just like those very same fireworks.

Pairing: Fuckboy!Taehyung x Reader; Jungkook x Reader

Genre: ANGST, so much fucking angst, smut, (barely there) fluff

Word Count: 24k

Warnings: cheating, sweet taehyung being a dick (I’m sorry tiger cub, I love you), a toxic relationship, possessive Taehyung, sex while semi-intoxicated (they can still consent), oral (fem and male receiving), panty play? I think, taehyung with a monster schlong, deep throating, face fucking, dirty talk, breast play, very slight cock/body worship, face sitting/riding, squirting, cum eating, riding, taehyung having a crazy amount of stamina, hair pulling, multiple orgasms, spanking, forced orgasm, creampie, slight breeding kink

A/N: Highkey, I was listening to mono when I came up with this plot and then when I was typing a certain scene. I wonder if you can guess exactly what scene that is lmao. In other news, this AU fried my last remaining brain cell and honestly I just want to rest for three years. My fingers are practically number from typing. UNEDITED because I’m DONE with it (for now). I’ll edit when my brain cells regenerate

Keep reading

Tobikichi Usahara ✭ Lost Time

Cat’s Note: Why are all of the men in this show so 🦆ing attractive? Uramichi and Kumatani coming soon 🤭

Summary: You broke up with him 4 years ago. Surely, he’s moved on by now, even if you haven’t. But what if he’s still stuck on you just as much as you are on him?

WC: 4.6k

Genre: exes to lovers, fluff

warnings: n/a, barely proofread, random OC

"Oh, Y/n! The girls and I are going bar hopping tomorrow, you should totally go with us!" Your friend Yumi says, lifting a stack of glass plates from a box and placing them on the kitchen counter.

You've just graduated from college, finally returning to Tokyo after 4 long years. Most people would have returned home during breaks, but you, however, had decided to remain in Sendai to work in between semesters. Most people also would have gone to college at 18. But you didn't go until you were 22, having been inspired by your ex-boyfriend's job as an actor to start pursuing videography.

So now here you are, freshly graduated, moving into a new apartment, and very happy to be home. You look over at Yumi as you carry another box into the kitchen, grunting harshly as you hoist it onto the table.

"Bar hopping?" You repeat. You reach for one of the many knives laying around and tear it through the tape on the box, carefully pulling out the pots and pans laying inside. "It may be 4 years since we've been together, but I'm sure you remember I'm not a big fan of bar hopping," you laugh lightly.

"Ahh, yeah, I do remember," Yumi giggles in return, moving the stack of plates into their designated cabinet. "But I do think it would be fun! You said you didn't have much time to go out when you were at school, well, now you have plenty of time!" She turns back to you with a bright smile. "And you never know, maybe you'll meet a cute guy while we're out," she smirks. You roll your eyes at this.

Ever since you broke things off with your ex 4 years ago, Yumi has asked relentlessly about your love life. And while there was never really anything to report, she always seemed happy to hear that you were still single.

"Please, I don't think I'll ever find love again," you sigh overdramatically, pressing the back of your hand to your forehead to nail your performance. As soon as the words leave your mouth, you pause, closing your eyes and bracing yourself for the next words to come from Yumi.

"...you're still not really over Usahara, are you?" Aaand there it is, question number 2 on the FAQ list. Yumi doesn't ask it nearly as much as the first, but she still asks often enough that you can basically tell when it's coming. And you're also tired of hearing it. Not because she keeps asking, you know she just wants to check in on you, see how you're feeling. But because your answer is always the same. 4 years of no contact, and your ex is still on your mind almost constantly.

You can only blame yourself really. You're the one who broke up with him when everything was perfect, when he wanted to stay together, when he was confident that your relationship could survive the distance once you left for school. But you weren't. You knew long distance would strain your relationship too much. It was inevitable. You were just saving yourselves the extra pain. At least, that's what you thought.

4 years and you've only had one boyfriend, and he only lasted for about 3 months. The time in between was full of failed first dates, ghostings, and creeps who were just looking to get laid. Not once did you meet someone who made your heart stop and your stomach flutter the way Usahara did. And you're beginning to wonder if you'll ever experience that feeling again. You groan and go back to unpacking your kitchen supplies.

"I think you know the answer to that, and I would rather not talk about it," you mutter. You turn to put the pots in a cabinet, missing the all-knowing smirk on your friend's face.

"Okay, we can drop the subject. But still, you should come with us! Besides, I want to buy you your first drink back in Tokyo!"

Well, can't argue with that, can you? You stop to think for a moment. Sure, you hate bar hopping, but it would probably do you some good to get out and socialize. And Yumi's right, you never know who you might meet. Maybe Tokyo guys are better than Sendai guys. Won't know unless you try, right?

"Haha. Okay, Yumi, I'll go," you say, reflecting your friend's happy grin.

"Yes!" Yumi exclaims, swaying her hips in a little happy dance.

"BUT!" You interject, cutting Yumi's celebration short. "We're not going out super late."

"No problem!"

"And when I'm exhausted and ready to go, we go?"

"Absolutely!" You would think you'd just told her that you won a million dollars and are giving her half based on the blinding smile on her face. Why is she so excited to go drinking? Should you be worried? You brush it off, chalking it up to your high school bestie just being happy to spend time with you after being apart for so long. You just hope you have enough energy tomorrow to be "Fun Y/n" and not "Tired and Cranky Y/n".

"Alright! Let's at least get your kitchen finished before we call it a night!" Yumi says, moving on to another box. You hum in agreement and follow suit.

"Ready to go?" Yumi calls. You walk into the bathroom to see her putting on her earrings, the finishing touch to her evening outfit.

"Whenever you are," you chirp. You tug lightly at the hem of the little black dress you're wearing. "Is it really okay that I wear this?" Yumi turns away from the mirror to look at you, her jaw dropping.

"Y/n you look gorgeous! That dress fits you a lot better than it does me. Any man should feel lucky to have you even spare them a glance!"

"Is your plan for us to hang out or to find me a boyfriend?" You laugh

"Why not both?" Yumi jokes back. "Seriously though, you should keep that dress. I never wear it anyway." You look at yourself in the mirror and damn, this dress does look nice on you. You mentally agree with Yumi's statement, any man should feel lucky. "The others said they would meet us at the bar, so we can head on over!"

With a new sense of self-confidence, you and Yumi leave your apartment to head to the first bar just a short walk away.

You get there and say hello to the group of girls, some of which you haven't seen since high school. The girls all order a shot or two, trying to get a little buzzed while you're at the cheapest place on the route. You order a drink that's a little lighter on the alcohol, not wanting to risk getting too drunk this early on. Once you're done there, it's on to the next place, and so on.

By the time your little group starts to leave the third bar, some of the girls are already starting to feel the effects of the shots they've taken. Yumi glances at the time on her phone and raises her voice to get everyone's attention.

"Hey, we should go to that little lounge on the next street over!" She suggests excitedly. Before you can agree, some of the other girls speak up.

"The lounge? I thought you didn't like that place?"

"Yeah, you always say it's kinda sketchy."

You turn to Yumi to see how she explains her sudden change of heart, only to see her fiddling with her fingers, something she does nervous. Or when she's planning something.

"Ahh, yeah I know but... but they have a really good happy hour deal at this time!" The girls tilt their heads in question but agree to go nonetheless. You make your way to the next street and see your destination ahead of you and, yeah, it does look a bit sketchy. But, no one says anything as you enter the little hangout.

"Let's sit over here!" Yumi says, darting ahead toward the end of the bar table. You all look at each other, mutually confused by Yumi's sudden enthusiasm and determination to, not only visit this specific bar, but also sit in a specific spot. But you swallow your questions and follow. The first thing you notice is how dark it is, and you don't believe it's purposeful mood lighting either. The second thing is the lack of people. Granted, it's a small bar, but even so, the seating isn't half full. Why are you here again?

You sit beside Yumi who has an unusually bright smile, even for her. You all order your drinks and take your time with them, catching up with each other in quiet chit-chat. You're there for a short time before a couple of guys enter the lounge, walking past the bar to sit at a table already occupied by a couple others.

"Heyyy, sorry we're late, we totally lost track of time," a man speaks from the table. His voice sounds familiar, almost comforting, but you’re too preoccupied with watching Yumi take a shot to really think about it.

"I think you mean you lost track of time," a second, more monotone voice speaks.

"Dude, seriously?!" Okay, you know you know that voice. You lean forward against the bar to take a quick glance past Yumi to the table several feet away from you. You quickly scan over the people, trying to be as casual as possible. You see two dark-haired men sitting beside each other, talking quietly with very neutral expressions, making you question whether they want to be there or not. You feel like you recognize the black-haired man, though you can’t place where you’ve seen him.

To their left is a very drunk woman, tears streaming down her flushed face. Beside her is another man with his face turned away from you, his blond hair, that's obviously dyed and desperately needs a retouch, is swept to the side and clipped with a... strawberry barrette?

Your quick and casual glance becomes a stare as you squint in an attempt to see the hair accessory better. You used to have a hair clip just like that one. You wore it all the time and were quite upset when you lost it. Before it can click in your mind, the man turns just enough for you to see his face and...

No, it's not. There's no way. You feel your heart flutter in a way it hasn't in years, but you still refuse to believe what you're seeing. Yumi notices your shocked expression and follows your line of sight, her eyes widening slightly when they land on the table.

"Yooo, is that who I think it is?"

"I'm... I'm pretty sure it is," you say, dazed. It's Usahara, sitting at the table beside you, wearing the hair barrette you lost at his place years ago.

"You should go say hi!" Yumi encourages, patting you on the arm excitedly. You almost get up from your seat right then, but the little shred of hope in your heart disappears when the crying woman suddenly crashes against Usahara's chest and his arms wrap around her. Yumi, whose eyes are trained on you, completely misses what's happening. "You never know, maybe you can pick up where you left off."

You quickly turn your eyes back to your drink, sinking into your seat.

"I doubt that. It was so long ago, I'm sure he's had several girlfriends since then. Look, he's with someone now," you state bluntly. Yumi turns back to see who you're talking about. The woman is now sitting up again, her face buried in her hands, shoulders shaking. She looks to Usahara who is sitting awkwardly, clearly unsure of how to handle the situation.

"Uhh, something tells me it's not like that," Yumi says. She turns back to you and places a gentle hand on your arm. "Come on, Y/n, just say hi. If he's not happy to see you, then we'll hit the next bar and get so drunk you'll forget you even saw him." Yumi grins and you realize it's the same suspicious smile she's had since she mentioned bar hopping the night before. Hold on a second.

"Why do I get the feeling you knew he'd be here?" You say, knowing it sounds like a serious accusation. But the moment the words leave your mouth, Yumi freezes. Gotcha.

"Whaaat? Nooo we're here for the happy hour! Remember?" She waves her hands around as though to distract you as she does her best to defend herself. You give her a "be honest" glare and she cracks within a second. "Okay, yeah, I see him and his friends here a lot, the chances were pretty high," she mutters.

"And that's why you wanted to come here so badly, isn't it?" You question further. Yumi stares into her drink and starts fiddling with her fingers again.

"Umm, that... might've been part of why. But that's beside the point!" She exclaims, looking back up at you. "We're here, he's here, and you should say something!" You remain quiet, unsure if you really should say anything or just try to leave without being seen. And Yumi seems to be able to tell exactly what you're thinking. "If you don't I will."

Uh oh. If there's one thing you've learned about Yumi in your years of being friends, it's that she's not afraid to embarrass herself. If she says she'll do something, chances are, she will. Before you can even respond, Yumi is taking a breath and turning in her chair, ready to shout to the table.

"HE-" she starts, and you swear your heart stops. You grab her arms and pull her back around to you, stopping her call before it gets very loud.

You hide behind her, mortified that she may have accomplished her goal and drawn some attention. You peek over her shoulder thankful to see that Usahara is too busy drinking his beer to have noticed anything. But before you can sigh in relief, your eyes meet those of the man on the other side of the table, and by the look in his steely grey eyes, it's safe to say Yumi had caught his attention. He breaks eye contact, turns back to his friends, and doesn't say a word.

"Okay, okay," you whisper, letting go of Yumi's arms "Just, please don't yell." Yumi giggles happily, satisfied that her plan is working. You take a deep breath and finish your drink quickly before getting up from your seat and adjusting your dress. Your heart is pounding in your chest, but you realize, it's not entirely of anxiety, but excitement. Yumi takes your hand and gives it an encouraging squeeze.

"I'll be right here, ready to support or fly out of here at the slightest notice." You squeeze her hand back and smile. You let go and make your way over to the table. The first person to notice you approaching is the same man you'd made eye contact with just moments before, though he remains quiet. Usahara is distracted with cleaning up a bit of beer that had been knocked over, still completely unaware of your presence. By this point, you've caught everyone's attention, everyone aside from Usahara.

"Tobikichi?" You say, your voice just barely above a whisper. Usahara stops his cleaning, but it takes him a second before he turns to you. His eyes meet yours and, there they are, the special butterflies that you've dreamed of having again since you saw him last.

"No way... Y/n?" Usahara says, not believing his eyes. His look of shock flips into one of joy as he jumps from his seat and, without a second thought, he's wrapping his arms around you in a tight hug. You hug him back, taking the moment to breathe in his familiar and comforting scent. Yep, he still wears the same cheap cologne. You never knew you could miss a smell so much until you'd said goodbye. He slowly pulls away from you, cool grey eyes scanning over you.

"You look beautiful..." He blurts, causing you both to blush. Before you can accept his compliment, he's moving on. "Haha, ahh, what are you doing here?"

“I’m back from school,” you answer softly. Usahara’s smile grows impossibly wider.

“Like, back for good?”

“Yeah, for good,” you nod in confirmation. Usahara perks, suddenly remembering who he’s with. He moves to stand beside you and places his on your shoulder, sending sparks down your back.

“Oh, by the way!” He starts, lifting his hand to gesture to his table of friends. “You’ve met Kumatani before, right?” Ahh, that’s why he seemed familiar.

“We met once,” Kumatani replies stoically. And now you remember. You’d only met him once, but Usahara would talk about him a lot. He was down to earth and wasn’t afraid to put Usahara in his place when needed. You appreciated it.

“Thought so!” Usahara says, moving on to the other two people. “This is Uramichi and Utano. They’re my co-workers.” You feel relief when you hear “co-workers”. Yumi was right, it isn’t like that. “Too bad Iketeru isn’t here. He’s not a big drinker, so he backed out for tonight.”

“So, how do you guys know each other?” Uramichi asks, suspicious that his annoying co-worker could be friends with someone like you. You and Usahara freeze, neither of you wanting to answer.

“They dated several years ago,” Kumatani answers for you without hesitation. Utano sits straight up, tears still streaming down her face, but at least she’s no longer sobbing.

“Oh, are you the ex he’s always talking about?” She sniffs. You look at her, confused.

“What?” You ask, hoping to get her to elaborate, and Kumatani starts to do just that.

“He talks about you a lot when he’s dru-”

“OKAY!” Usahara shouts, stepping a bit in front of you and cutting Kumatani off before he can expose him any further. “I don’t think we need to talk about any of that.” Actually, yes, I think we do. “Anyway, uhh, are you here by yourself?”

“Hmm? Oh, no, I’m here with-” your sentence is stopped midway through when an arm is slung over your shoulders.

“Me!” Yumi says, leaning over you.

“Oh, Yumi! Long time no see, huh?” Usahara greets.

“Yeaaah, real long time!” Yumi smiles. “Y/n, the girls and I are thinking about getting one more round and then heading out,” she says, pointing back to the bar. You’re about to say that you’ll be right over when Usahara starts to speak.

“Hey, let me buy you a drink!” He offers happily, making Yumi smile.

“Oh, that’s not necessary!” You say.

“Please? As a welcome home,” He says, already pulling out his wallet and heading back to the bar.

“Come on, don’t say no to a free drink!” Yumi pulls you by your arm to follow, and you do, albeit hesitantly. Once you’re at the bar, Yumi returns to the group, leaving you and Usahara there alone.

“Get what you want,” Usahara says after taking a quick flip through his wallet.

“You have the money to make that kind of offer?” You tease.

“WHA-hey! I’ll have you know I’ve gotten better at handling money… kind of.”

“Mhmm?”

“Whatever, I wouldn’t offer if I wasn’t sure.” His face grows red and you laugh at his response. Your eyes catch sight of the little pink and red accessory in his hair again, contrasting sharply against his bleach blond hair.

“By the way, is that my strawberry barrette you’re wearing?” His face couldn’t possibly get any more flushed. His hand flies up to the clip and removes it.

“It… might be,” he mumbles. His hands play around with it, bending the clip back and forth.

“I can’t believe you still have it after all this time,” you whisper. Usahara smiles fondly.

“Well, it is pretty handy,” he jokes. His fidgeting stops and he places the barrette onto the table, sliding it towards you. “Here, you can have it back.” You pick up the hair clip and examine it closely. It looks almost exactly the same as the day you last saw it, aside from some chipped plastic coating on the sides. He’s taken very good care of it. You run your thumb over the bumpy, textured strawberry.

“You keep it,” you say softly. You reach for his hair and gently sweep it behind his ear, clipping it in place with the barrette. “It looks better on you anyway.” Jeez, are you purposefully trying to fluster him? Usahara laughs nervously and rubs his clammy hands on his pants. If his heart beats any faster, he’s convinced it’ll burst right out from his chest.

You order your drinks and sit in awkward silence as you try to figure out what to talk about. You have so much, 4 years' worth. Where do you start?

“So… have you dated anyone since we broke up?” Well, guess that’s one place to start.

“Umm… not really. There was this one guy who lasted a few months, but he turned out to be a total creep,” you answer honestly, your voice faltering a bit.

“Ahh, gotcha,” he says awkwardly. You drag a finger over your glass, watching as the condensation collects and runs down the cool surface.

“What about you? I’m sure you’ve had a girl or two over the last few years, Mr. Mascot,” you laugh lightly, trying to relieve the strange and uncomfortable pressure.

“Haha, I, uh, haven’t had any, actually…”

…Oh

“Hey, Y/n,” Yumi calls. You turn to see her and the others gathering their purses and standing from their seats, some struggling a little more than others. “We’re heading to the next bar. You coming?” Before you can even think of what to answer with, Yumi is shooting you a look that screams “don’t you dare say ‘yes’”. You smile, this was for sure her plan the entire time.

“I think I’ll stay here for a bit longer.” Yumi beams at your reply and walks over to hug you.

“Okay! I’ll see you tomorrow then. Still on for dinner?”

“Yeah of course!”

“Great!” Yumi moves her gaze from you to the man beside you giving him a sweet but serious glare. “Usahara, take care of my girl, ‘kay? Don’t let anything happen to her.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Usahara says nervously. Yumi gives you both another wide smile before walking out the door to catch up with the others. “She’s still as intimidating as I remember,” he says, making you laugh.

You turn back around and catch Usahara already looking at you, an unreadable grin on his face. As soon as you make eye contact, his smile drops and his head whips in a different direction. Subtle. You two resume conversation, catching up on everything you’ve missed out on each other. Usahara’s friends eventually leave as well, leaving just the two of you. You talk about everything, how your schooling went and how much you hate-loved it, how he’s still working as a bunny mascot on a children’s show but he’s generally happy with where he is. Once the initial awkwardness is gone, you speak like no time has passed. It’s as though you had just seen each other yesterday, rather than 4 years ago.

Usahara’s phone buzzes, prompting him to pick it up. His eyes widen when he sees the time. 3 hours have passed, and neither of you can believe it.

“We should probably get going,” he says reluctantly, and you agree. You both stand from the bar and head towards the door where Usahara rushes ahead of you to open it for you. “Let me walk you home!” His proposal catches you off guard.

“You don’t have to do that, I don’t live far,” you say, not wanting him to feel obligated to.

“It’s okay, I want to,” he says confidently. He wants to. You half expected to walk out this door, say your goodbyes, and then be hit with the reality that he didn’t want to see you again. But instead, he’s offering to walk you home because he wants to. You don’t trust your voice to come out clearly, so you just nod and start walking toward your apartment.

The short walk there is silent, but this time, an easy, relaxed silence. You climb the stairs to your doorstep and pull out your keys to unlock your door before you turn back to the man. The atmosphere that was comfortable just a moment ago, is now tense and awkward.

“Thank you for walking me… it was really good to see you, Tobikichi,” you say softly.

“Of course, it was good to see you too,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck and shifting his weight from side to side. “I’m glad to see you’re doing well.” You continue to stand there; neither of you wants to say goodbye. Then, almost subconsciously, you’re stepping forward and wrapping your arms around his torso, burying your face into the crook of his neck. You feel his muscles tense in surprise before he relaxes and returns your embrace, an arm snaking around your waist and a hand gently holding the back of your head, pressing you closer against him. You have no idea how long you stood there, entangled in each other’s arms and soaking in each other’s warmth. You grasp him as though you’re afraid he’ll disappear.

Usahara finally pulls away from you slowly, but he stops when your eyes meet his. A beat passes before-

“Can I kiss you?” He blurts. What? You don’t answer, your mind still trying to process to be sure you heard him right. Thinking he’s made a mistake, Usahara’s grip starts to loosen, his arm slipping from your side. But before he can let go, you grab onto his shirt, pulling him back against you.

“Please,” you practically whimper. Usually, you would cringe at your behavior. Begging a man to kiss you? Come on. But right now, you can’t find it in you to care about how desperate you may look. You just want his lips on yours, and it’s the only thing you can attempt to be concerned about. His face gets hot, turning almost as pink as the barrette still in his hair, and you can’t help but think it’s a good color on him.

His hands return to your waist, holding you firmly as he leans his face closer to yours. A sharp chill runs down your spine when his lips ghost over yours and you find yourself suppressing a whine that threatens to escape your throat. Usahara smiles mischievously, proud of the reaction he’s so easily able to draw from you. But, as much as he enjoys teasing you, he can’t wait any longer.

His hand runs from your waist, up your side, and to your neck, cradling your face gently. And then, finally, he places a tender kiss against your lips. It’s delicate, familiar, the feeling of his lips moving lightly against yours, like he’s afraid he may break you. Your fists ball in his shirt, tugging him further down in a silent plea, and you feel his lips curve in a smile against yours.

He takes a careful step forward, pushing your back against the door. The kiss quickly moves from sweet and chaste, to needy and passionate. Your hands move from his shirt around his neck, fingers running through his silky hair, pulling a soft, muffled grunt from his lungs.

Your lips part and he gives just enough space for you to see his face and the sight turns your already swirling insides into a storm. Wow, did you miss that look he’s giving you, blushing, flustered and messy. You’re sure you look the same. He leans closer again, pressing his heated forehead against yours.

“I’ve… missed you, so much,” he pants. “You have no idea how happy I was to see you.” He kisses you again, his lips moving feverishly.

“I missed you too. So much, you have no idea. I’m so sorry,” you mutter in between each heated kiss. Usahara breaks the kiss to pull you against him again, his arms embracing you and a deep, contented sigh rushing against your ear. Your hands drag down to his chest and you feel his heart beat frantically against your palms. You stay there for a moment until you remember that you’re standing on your doorstep. He moves to kiss you again, but you stop him before he can.

“Want to come inside?” You whisper against his lips, and he smirks.

“I’d like that. We should start making up for lost time.”

Paths Eren 

“Sorry Brother, there is no way I could ever go along with a plan that messed up.Ymir our founder, give me your strength!”

Happy Birthday、My lord!!! m(__)m

I saw you wanted some requests!!

Could I request kissing Idia all over his face? I just feel like it’d be so funny to see his reaction

I hope you have a lovely day!!

idia shroud who’s doomed with lots of kisses.

Idia was losing. Badly. And it wasn’t his fault—it could never be his fault—his teammates were just outright incompetent.

“Seriously? Who runs straight into the enemy’s trap without checking the map first?” he grumbled. “Do they even understand the concept of positioning?”

You were just lying on his chest, your body nestled comfortably against his as you watched him play. Your arms were wrapped around his torso, your face just inches from his, and you hummed a quiet tune to entertain yourself.

You were so close. Too close.

And yet... Idia didn’t mind. In fact, he kind of liked it.

He still couldn’t believe you two were like this now—so close, so comfortable. A year ago, he wouldn’t have even dreamed of letting someone into his room, much less on his bed. But now... it was his favorite thing in the world.

Especially when it was you.

Well, you were always the only exception to him whenever it came to almost anything.

Idia tried to focus on his game, his eyes glued to the screen as his character dodged another poorly timed attack from the enemy. “Are they... are they actually feeding the enemy team?! Oh my Sevens, I’m going to spam report them with all of my accounts.” He let out a dramatic sigh, his hair flickering with frustrated flames.

“Amateurs... all of them.”

“You get so worked up over your games,” you tease, your voice warm and affectionate.

He huffed, his eyes narrowing at the screen. “I-It’s because they’re so bad! I mean, seriously, who rushes into a 1v4 without backup?! Do they even know how to play?!”

You just smiled, your fingers gently tracing patterns on his chest. He wore his teal hoodie, the one you got him just because you can. “You’re cute when you get all frustrated.”

“They’re just... so ugh. It’s like they’ve never played a MOBA before.” His fingers moved with practiced precision, his character launching a series of attacks that wiped out two enemies in quick succession. “See? That’s how you do it. If I weren’t here, they’d be doomed.

You didn’t respond, your eyes still focused on him. Idia’s heart raced when he noticed, his fingers faltering on the controller. You were looking at him with that expression again—that sweet, adoring look that made his stomach burst with butterflies and his mind go blank.

He tried to ignore it, tried to focus on his game, but it was impossible. You were too close, too warm, too... loving.

“Why are you staring at me?”

“You look cute when you’re focused.”

He scoffed, his face heating up. “I don’t look cute. I look serious. Intense. Like a soldier.”

“You’re cute,” you insisted, laughing. “Very cute.”

His heart skipped a beat, his fingers faltering on the controller. He narrowly avoided an incoming ultimate skill, his character’s health dropping dangerously low. “H-Hey, don’t distract me!”

“But it’s fun.”

Idia rolled his eyes, sighing. “You’re supposed to be my co-pilot. Aren’t you supposed to be helping me win?”

“I am helping. I’m boosting your morale.”

He chuckled. “Yeah, right. Some morale boost...”

Before he could say more, you leaned up and pressed a soft kiss to his chin.

Idia’s heart stopped.

His body went rigid, his breath catching in his throat. Your lips were warm and soft, lingering for just a moment before you pulled away as if it was the most common thing to do.

His character died on screen, the revival countdown flashing in bold white numbers. Idia barely noticed, his mind reeling from the sensation of your kiss.

“[Name]...?”

“I told you it was a morale boost.” How could you casually shrug this off?!

Idia stared at you. How did you two get here? How did he get to the point where he was lying on his bed with his girlfriend, cuddling up to him, kissing him like it was the most natural thing in the world?

More importantly, how did he get to the point where he was okay with it? Did he actually want you to be this close?

Your lips brushed his cheek, softer this time, a feather-light touch that sent shivers down his spine. Idia’s breath hitched, his fingers clenching around his controller.

“W-What are you doing?” His voice was embarrassingly weak, his heart pounding in his chest. God, how pathetic he sounded.

You, however, didn’t answer, your lips trailing along his cheekbones. Then you kissed his forehead, his nose, and even the little mole on his temple.

Idia’s hands trembled, his controller slipping from his fingers and falling onto the mattress beside him. His arms instinctively wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer, his body moving on its own.

“I like watching you play,” you admitted quietly. “You get so focused. It’s adorable.”

He groaned, his head falling back against his pillow.

“You’re... evil...”

You laughed. “You’re just realizing that now?”

“You’re worse than players who don’t know how to cast their character’s ultimate combo.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.” You then leaned in and kissed him again, this time on the corner of his mouth.

His heart was pounding so loudly he was sure you could hear it. You were so, so close now, your face just inches from his.

He swallowed hard. “You’re... really close...”

“Do you want me to move?”

“No.”

“Ok.”

He never thought he’d get to this point—never thought he’d find someone who accepted him, who cared for him, who wanted to be close to him. Someone who could understand him and make him feel as though he deserves to be loved unconditionally.

And yet, here you were, lying in his arms, your warmth seeping into him, your presence filling every corner of his heart.

“I... really like you.”

He likes saying it when he feels as though he needs to say it, which isn’t often, so it holds sentiment and tenderness.

“I like you too, Idia. Really, really like you.”

Idia was doomed. Completely, absolutely, undeniably doomed... and he never wanted to be saved.

SEUMYO © 2025. PLEASE DO NOT REPOST, PLAGIARIZE, MODIFY OR TRANSLATE.

Idia-shi 💀✨

BAY CITY ROMANCE 𖥻 005 𖥻 KITTY KITTY!

bcr masterlist ; prev ; next

synopsis. fyodor's sudden invitation, a cat, and a couple led you to uncertain circumstances.

warnings. HORRIBLE description of the surroundings.. so sorry... i wrote this while watching one piece, you and fyodor share a nice meal!! the cats love fyodor

notes. sorry!! i was really busy these past few weeks bc of school ahh I'm here now;.. maybe after ill be busy again HAHAHA my midterms r soso nhear. but here's a fyodor centric chapter to make up for my absence AND the final ep of bsd CUZZZ IT WAS SO SICK

Getting up from your bed, you allowed yourself to stretch before shortly heading over to your closet. Your dorm was relatively simple as the university provided minimal space to encompass your belongings. From the door, your bed was squeezed into the leftmost corner of the room. a large circular black carpet was sprawled underneath your furniture, below some potted plants and your work setup, which was to the rightmost corner of the room. Beside your bed, a simple coffee table that houses a figurine you bought a while back with your friends, and the traditional alarm clock that you perceive as a treasure amongst the sea of belongings inside your dorm. The space provided was wide enough to encompass a projector and a few shelves that house your books. Averting your eyes from the protruding stack of clothes nestled beside the closet, you continue your avid search in the clutter you call your closet to prepare for the events that ought to happen later. Fyodor doesn’t mind the style you choose-- at all, even complimenting your style on several occasions, so you do not have to think twice about choosing what to wear. Settling for a simple outfit, you grabbed your previous clothing to add to the heap of fabric on the side of the room. 

It took a bit to prepare for the outing, gathering your needed items in a sling bag you thought fit best for the occasion. Still, you admired your look for a bit before swinging your bag over your shoulder and grabbing your phone to type a reply back to Fyodor hastily. Panic intruded your body as his texts registered in your mind, and bolted to the door to leave as fast as possible. However, what you didn’t consider, was Fyodor’s presence behind the door; jumping as soon as you opened it, putting your hand over your heart and clenching it while heaving slightly. “Don’t ever do that ever again, Fyodor!” You punched him lightly, relieved that it was just him. Turning back, you muttered to yourself, stopping as you heard him chuckle faintly. “What? What do you want?” You spat, although not in an offensive manner, and he smiled at you. “Nothing, you look great.” He breathed out, albeit sweetly, before adding, “You also took your sweet time, didn’t you?” 

Flustered at his words, you cleared your throat, mumbling a compliment to him that he caught. He was straightforward in his approach, clothes representing the man very well; clad in an oversized black dress shirt with a few buttons loose, partially tucked in black dress pants, sleek leather shoes that you thought were fitting for a man like him, and finally, a brown trench coat that perfected the entire outfit. You must have been staring for too long, as he smiled at you knowingly, “Are you done staring, [Name]?” He adjusted the end of his sleeves, flicking his wrists every so often. 

He caught you. That was enough to make you avert your eyes immediately, earning a soft laugh from him. His chuckle was enough to land a familiar feeling in your stomach, embarrassment, maybe, you weren’t sure. The travel to the cafe was not long, but your insatiable curiosity about nature was enough to delay your arrival for a few minutes. Of course, Fyodor held his patience, smiling softly at everything you pointed at for him to see. First were the cicadas, then the small cat wobbling around, and finally, the pretty flowers that were exceptional to the eye. His gaze on you was inconspicuous, glancing at you every so often. You weren’t oblivious to the stares he was giving you, truth be told, you returned the looks he gave you. “Hey, we’re here.” You said in realization, Fyodor releasing his hands from his pockets to open the door for you. “After you,” he whispered, following suit after you entered. The slight tinkle of the bell alerted the staff; Oh, isn’t it Ranpo for today? You thought. Almost as if he heard you, he peeked from the cash register, smile widening in realization after seeing the both of you. “Fyodor! [Name]! It’s you!” He rushed over, waving in excitement. The soft chatter of the customers halted after he shouted, gazing over at him in mild annoyance, but it didn’t matter to him. The cafe wasn’t packed as it was normally, leaving a few vacant seats for you and Fyodor to take. After peering behind the door, your eyes landed briefly on the cats wandering aimlessly to customers. A select few, namely the most eccentric ones, in your opinion, lounged around their beds, scratching and nipping at their toys. Fyodor called out to you, which made you flicker your eyes to him in recognition. “I paid for your admission, so don’t worry about paying me back.” Said Fyodor, reassuring you. Ranpo was heard snickering from behind him, “Stop sounding like a gentleman, dumbass Fyo,” He joked, “I lowered the admission prices for you both. The total isn’t even worth the price of one undiscounted admission.” He revealed, making Fyodor deadpan. Fyodor turned to you, apologetic eyes meeting yours, as you walked over to him to pat his shoulder. Fyodor was uncharacteristically sweet to your group, paying for your meals every so often. The origins of his copious amounts of money were left lingering in your head, but you don’t bring the question up to him. “You didn’t tell me,” He reasoned, his voice enlaced with a hint of embarrassment, fingers glazing his credit card before handing it over to Ranpo, who accepted it gleefully. “Okay, since you’re so adamant about paying on their behalf!” He swiped the card, tapping on the monitor before stating, “You’re not getting that discount anymore!” Cheekily, he winked at both of you, making you wave your hands in protest at him, while Fyodor hummed in agreement. “Sure.” He responded curtly, which made you freeze, turning to him slowly. “Hey, you’re funny.” 

“Oh, really? You’re so kind! You’re paying for the entire menu too, Fyo!” 

You weren’t sure how you got into your position now. You poked your fork desultorily at your food, eyes flickering from Fyodor to the cats meowing at your feet. A smile was present on Fyodor’s face, sighing in contentment at the taste of the tea he ordered. A black cat was perched on his lap, tail moving as he leaned into Fyodor’s touch. “So, why did you bring me here?” You let the question slip before you could notice, genuinely curious about his motives. He gazed at you upon hearing that question, pausing his actions to face you. “Well, I just wanted to hang out with someone here,” he pursed his lips, locking his eyes with yours, and you found it hard to tear your gaze away from him. “I wanted to ask you and Sigma originally, but since she couldn’t go, I opted to ask you instead.” Admittedly, you looked away, feeling abashed, and focused on the cat rubbing itself on your leg. He was cute, in a way, a white cat with a scar on its left eye and gentle paws marked in black. Picking him up, you cooed, the cat meowing in return. “His name is Kolya, Fyo!” You shoved the cat in his face, making him scrunch his face in surprise as he took the cat from you. At this, the cat in his lap jumped off, which prompted Fyodor to sigh lightly, taking the cat for himself. Oh, Kolya. He thought, eyes blinking at the cat, to which the latter did the same, squinting his eyes in recognition. He looks exactly like Nikolai. He recalled his friend motioning towards a cat that looked exactly like him, but he paid no mind to his friend, but now that he studied his features, it looked exactly like him-- save for the humanistic characteristics and his signature white hair. Looking at it now, he held the cat closer to his face, before feeling the cat’s paws atop his nose. “Oh, he’s cute!” You leaned to the side to get a closer look at Fyodor and the cat; however, the former seemed to be frozen in place. Fyodor sighs before letting out an amused chuckle, gently placing the cat down beside him. “Yeah, it really is cute.”

A few hours passed-- although it felt like mere minutes to you and Fyodor, and both of you decided it was best to leave. Arranging the plates on your table, you carefully stood up; the cats walked past you to give you way. Muttering an apology to them, you took in the soft scenery the cafe provided, breathing out and walking towards the door. Fyodor greeted you and opened the door, thanking him softly as you walked out. He left you to wander outside as he settled the bill with Ranpo, which resulted in further delay; not that you minded, though, it allowed you to leave the cafe to observe the evening sky outside. 

The sky painted itself in gradient hues of orange and blue, fading into unique colors that marveled in the distance. It was peaceful, with the sound of cicadas chirping mixing with the sound of the wind, you found tranquility in this atmosphere. You breathed out, gaping at the clouds that blended with the sky’s colors. This wasn’t new to you, and once you heard the bell ring, you looked over the horizon to meet Fyodor’s eyes, and in response, blinked at the sudden eye contact. “Hi,” He said, and you waved at him enthusiastically. “Hi, Fyo!” You replied, making him nod; “I’m going to talk with Ranpo for a minute, if that’s okay.” He scanned your eyes in hopes of finding approval and smiled softly once he did. “Of course, Fyo! I can wait.” Smiling sincerely, you set your attention to the couple leaving the cafe, but once they opened the door, a certain white cat came rushing out. It seemed that the clamor alerted Ranpo from behind the cash register, and he shot up, before slamming his hand on the table to steady himself to properly observe the situation. “Kolya?!” He yelled, and the cat stared at him briefly before speeding out of the main door. You forgot to close it, so you stared at Ranpo in an apologetic manner, but he couldn’t quite notice it as he bolted for the entrance. 

“[Name], help me catch him!” He pointed at the cat, and Fyodor simply stared at the commotion. You sighed in exasperation, “I get to keep this cat, alright?!” And so, you ran for the cat with newfound determination-- it would be your new pet if you caught it, after all! The thought made you giggle silently, and you could slightly hear Ranpo fuming as he spat warnings towards the couple that allowed Kolya to get away. Yelling out countless apologies to the passersby that you ran past, your eyes locked on the cat that was slipping from your sight. After a bit of running, you found (supposedly) your cat in the hands of another. You halted your movements, your feet skidding to a stop in front of a foreign man. He, however, didn’t pay any attention to you, but to your cat. Nevertheless, once you caught your breath, he acknowledged your presence. “Oh, you were looking for him?” His voice had a playful lilt to it, which matched his appearance. His eyes were what captivated you most, heterochromia eyes with the shade of bluish grey and emerald boring right back at your own; his abnormally long braided white hair that coincidentally matched the fur of the cat he held. Your eyes trailed down toward his outfit, which consisted of a pair of oversized jeans and an equally oversized bomber jacket, zipped until his chest which revealed a bit of the shirt he was wearing. Kolya’s meow broke your train of thought, and the stranger giggled at this. 

You felt as if you had met this man before, but from where, you were clueless. “Did Kolya escape from the cafe again?” Cuddling up to the cat, he addressed his statement in a manner that made you think it was directed at Kolya instead of you. Crossing your arms, you let out an unamused sigh, which made the man’s attention drift towards you in response. “Ah, hi!” He called out to you, “Sorry, sorry! This cat’s a bit of a troublemaker,” He admitted, flustered, and looked at you apologetically. “Have I seen you before?” You questioned, and he blinked, before laughing. “Maybe! I mean,” He pets the cat in his hands, “Well, before anything, what’s your name?” Confused at the man’s sudden switch in tone, you answered him hesitantly, “It’s… [Name]...?” And at that, his eyes widened in realization, mumbling utterances to himself that you couldn’t quite hear. Okay, this guy was weird, sure, but he saved you the trouble of running after Kolya any farther than you originally had to. “Alright! Hi! I’m Nikolai, I hope that rings a bell, [Name]!” No honorifics, you noted-- but nodded at him regardless. You reflected back on his statement, however, despite racking your brain for anything that would relate to him, there was nothing that came to mind, so you settled for a smile. “It’s nice to meet you, Nikolai.” Your eyes darted to him and to the cat, and you realized how similar they looked. “See anything?” He brought the cat up to his face, and it meowed in return. “Holy shit! It looks exactly like you!” He chuckled loudly at your words, proud that you finally got the idea. “You know, when I first came to the cafe, I fell in love with this little guy!” He exclaimed, although the cat’s ceaseless meowing drowned out his statement. “I was with Fyo--” He shut his mouth, interrupting himself, “I was with a friend when I first saw him.” Embarrassed, he looked over to you, smiling at your delighted look. You tilted your head, feeling panic invade your body. You didn’t know why, but the answer came to you incredibly quickly. 

Oh shit, Fyodor! “It was great meeting you, Nikolai, but I really have to go.” You motioned to the cat, and he took the hint to give it to you. Disappointment washed over his features, and despite being in a hurry, you recognized the look on his face. You waved to him hurriedly before setting off, the cat in your hands wiggling at your hold. Gathering the contacts of Nikolai was out of the question, as you had to make it back to Fyodor quickly, glancing at the horizon, you figured that the sun setting was an indicator of how late it was. Nikolai was not too bad-- although a bit eccentric in his approach, you just thought it was in his nature to act as he did. He was conventionally attractive, you can admit, his graceful features nestled in your head as he talked to you. His gaze towards you was ever so soft, a gleam of appreciation present in his eyes as he talked to you; and as his eyes lingered in your head, all the while, you figured that meeting new people had never been so bad-- or maybe he was just simply an exception. You chuckled on the way back, at the interaction you had with the unique individual determining the course of events that presented itself in front of you. The narrative was writing itself, and while you cannot make out with certainty any possible occurrences from now on, you had an inkling that you were to embrace change.

Nikolai, you believe you would remember that name for a long time. 

trivia:

niko thought you were sooo interesting!! he just doesn't know why.

he went to the cafe straight after meeting you, but was surprised when he couldn't see kolya in sight

he knew you were fyodor's friend since fyodor kept talking about you and your friend group (in a good light, obviously!)

fyodor understood you, don't worry, he isn't mad. he can never be mad at you

while fyodor may say these things so carelessly, he does it with no romantic intentions. you are most aware of this fact, and he is thankful for that.

you were so unsure if fyodor really paid for the entire menu. but with ranpo's devilish smile, you knew it was a joke.

yes, you just realized that niko was the man in your comments the previous chapter

so seeing him there again made you smile a bit, he was eccentric, but he was a good person!

you knew he'd make a good friend!

dazai asked fyodor about what happened, and when he told him about you and niko meeting, he rushed to the latter to demand answers.

tg: @iruc @celestair

2023 © kachuuyaa. do not steal or claim my work as your own.

ouch ouch ouchhhhh

My Angel (Part Two)

➬ Reiner Braun x Fem reader

Part One | Masterlist | Blog Home | Aot Masterlist

Summary : Reiner was always taught that the devils of Paradis were vicious creatures, but what is he supposed to do when he soon finds himself reluctantly falling for one? Or when he is forced to go back to Marley and leave her altogether?

Word count : around 5, 200 words

Warnings : Again, very angsty. Reiner feels guilty about what he’s done, reader is angry with him. Crying, mentions of heartbreak. Spoilers for season 4 part one.

Author’s notes : reblogs are appreciated!! I appreciate all feedback on my writing so that I can know what you guys liked and what you think I should improve on😊

Disclaimer : this is a work of fiction and should in no way, shape, or form, be taken seriously.

Side Note : this fic, and everything else I’ve written on my blog, is mine and only mine. I work very hard on everything I write so do not, under any circumstances, modify, copy, or steal my work.

❗️Important Note❗️

There will in fact be a part three! While I was writing part two, it ended up becoming so long that I just decided to split it up. That’s why this chapter leaves off on a cliffhanger (and that’s also why it took me so long to post this one). But I thank you all for your patience. If anyone else wants to be tagged for part three then let me know in the comments! :)))

“Can I please ask where exactly we’re going?” Reiner questioned, his voice lacing with a hint of annoyance as Falco gripped his arm, anxiously pulling him towards the city’s back alleys.

“I told you it’s a surprise! A friend of yours wants to say hi before the show starts!” Falco explained, glancing backward at his superior with a cheerful smile as he continued to pull him in the opposite direction.

“Is that right?” Reiner spoke sarcastically, scoffing quietly to himself as he took in the boy’s words.

What was Falco really up to?

Surely the whole “a friend wants to say hi” explanation was made up; because Reiner Braun wasn’t exactly a man you would think of as having friends.

Sure, he was surrounded by people a lot of the time, and he even had allies with whom he got along pretty well with. But even so, Reiner knew he was nothing more than a comrade to them; nothing more than a vessel to wield the armored titan.

But that was okay, because they were nothing more than comrades to him.

With being born Eldian as well as being a warrior for Marley’s military force, Reiner Braun didn’t exactly have the time, luxury, or frankly, the mental strength to seek out any social interactions beyond strictly work-related ones.

Well, at least, not anymore.

He made that mistake once, and in doing so, it cost him the demolition of a poor woman’s heart; as well as his own.

In fear that opening up to another person again might cause that beating vessel in his chest to truly see itself past repair, Reiner Braun had decided to close himself off from others, refusing to repeat those tragic events of his past.

So, with that in mind, who exactly was this “person” that Falco was happily dragging him by the arm to see?

It couldn’t have been anyone he was genuinely close with; there wasn’t anyone like that for him, not anymore at least. Any authentic connections he once had with people were now severed, collapsed by the calamity he caused back on that forsaken island.

So who on earth was he being forced to see?

“It’s just in here!” Falco said excitedly, his finger pointing toward a wooden door as they rounded the corner; one that lead to a basement stationed under an older apartment complex.

From the outside, the place looked dim and run down, its location secluded to a quiet and unfrequented street.

The very sight had Reiner scratching his head in confusion. Of all places, why here? Why pick such an isolated area to meet with him? Not only that, but why would this person send a naive little boy to escort him to this place instead of just contacting Reiner directly?

Was this a trap he was walking into?

Should he leave?

Like a flame set to brush, panic began spreading through Reiner’s veins. His free hand was gripped into a strained fist and his eyes darted in all directions, watching out for any surprise attacks.

If this really was a trap, if someone was anticipating charging at him, then he’d be ready for it.

Suddenly, the wooden door opened. Loud groans from the beat-down hinges filled the air, followed by the sound of footsteps; footsteps that belonged to a dark, hooded figure.

Reiner’s eyes widened at the scene before him, an eerie feeling twisting in his stomach as he watched the mysterious person walk out the door; heading in his direction.

Whoever it was, he thought about fighting them off, even going as far as raising both his hands in the air to assume a defensive stance.

However, that’s when he caught a glimpse of Falco next to him. The little boy had started to head towards the figure, almost as if he was acquainted with the human; if it even was human.

“Falco wait!” Reiner quickly followed in the boy’s footsteps, gripping his arm before he could walk any closer to the person. “We should leave.” He suggested, anxiously tugging on the boy’s limb in hopes to urge him back in the opposite direction.

“It’s okay Mr. Braun,” Falco smiled, quick to reassure his superior. “This is where he said to meet him.”

Who’s he? Was it that person lurking around with the cloak draped across their face? Or was there someone inside as well?

Reiner didn’t have any answers, nor did he have a definite resolve on how to react in this situation. Should he trust Falco’s judgment and allow this “meetup” to happen? Or should he grab the boy and run while he still had the chance?

The latter seemed like the best option, especially considering the fact that Falco was just a child, and therefore could’ve easily been manipulated into something dangerous.

He wanted to trust Falco’s words, but it was too risky. If something happened, the boy’s blood would be on Reiner’s hands; and he couldn’t bear the weight of any more sorrow, or any more guilt.

“We’re leaving, Falco!” Reiner insisted, readjusting his grip on the boy’s arm to forcefully pull him away from the situation.

Although, just as he’d turned around to take those first few steps, he heard something that made his body freeze, and his heart clench.

“If you’re done arguing you can go on ahead. He’s waiting for you inside.”

That voice. Reiner knew that voice.

It was the same one he used to hear nagging at him to wake up in the early mornings. The same voice that used to comfort him whenever he was feeling disheartened.

It was… the same voice he never thought he’d have the pleasure of hearing ever again…

All he received was one simple sentence, but that was all the verification he needed. There was no doubt in his mind, the voice he heard: belonged to you.

“Y/n?!” His body immediately turned around to face the hooded figure. His eyes then squinted, trying to see more than just the gentle silhouette of a pair of lips and a jawline that was exposed by the moonlight’s glow.

The figure froze at his words, saying nothing in response; almost as if they didn’t anticipate being recognized.

“Y/n, is that you?” Reiner asked again, hoping to earn a response this time.

However, there was none; at least, not a verbal one.

All he gained was a sudden flinch that occurred once he spoke that name a second time, followed by the subtle shaking of fingertips that poked out from the sleeves of the cloak.

You must’ve been scared, embarrassed; perhaps even both.

And who would blame you for it? The last time you saw him he had slaughtered more than half of your comrades. Who knows what he’s capable of now after four years have passed?

“Falco?” Reiner finally broke the silence, glancing down at the boy he was still holding on to. “Why don’t you go on inside, I’ll be with you in a minute.”

However, before the boy could open his mouth to speak, he was quickly interrupted. “There’s no reason for him to leave! I’m not staying to chat.” A stern voice echoed past the cloak covering your face, but that didn’t phase Reiner.

He knew it was you from the moment that first syllable left your lips, even more so now that you’d spoken a second time.

Your tone was serious, added with a hint of aggression in order to scare him off, but he wouldn’t be turned away by that. Not when this was the chance he’d been silently praying for ever since he left that island four years ago. The chance to finally see you once again, even for just a moment.

Now that this chance was finally here, standing in front of him, there was no way he’d let it slip away; regardless of the tone you used with him.

“Just a few minutes?!” He insisted, taking a few steps forward in case you were preparing to run away. “Please?” He asked in a much quieter tone, his eyes practically begging for you to give in, to grant him even the smallest portion of your time.

Even after all these years he still knew how to persuade you, didn’t he? He must’ve, otherwise, your mouth would’ve never opened to let out a frustrated “Five minutes and that’s it!”

Reiner’s shoulders quickly relaxed at your words. His head then turned towards Falco subsequently, giving him a quick nod of his head: which apparently was his signal to “get going.”

Falco’s gaze switched between Reiner and the person he was apparently dying to speak to. The boy was unsure of what was going on, or who that unidentified person even was, but nevertheless, Falco knew better than to argue with his superior; so he’d comply with the orders given to him.

“S-sure…I’ll just, be inside then…” Falco spoke hesitantly, slowly backing away to walk toward the wooden door. He stopped momentarily after placing his fingers on the handle, almost as if he was waiting for Reiner to change his mind. But after receiving no signs of a change of heart, Falco reluctantly opened the door and stepped inside; closing it behind him.

The moment that wooden door shut, an unpleasant silence filled the air. Instead of partaking in the “conversation” you were supposed to have, the two of you just stood in silence.

You didn’t dare speak up. Reiner was the one who made you stay after all, if anyone should be the first to start this conversation it was him.

Your eyes were fixated on him with a calloused glare, your lips refusing to part even the slightest bit.

Reiner on the other hand, wore an expression more timid and anxious than yours.

He shifted uncomfortably on his feet, fingers fidgeting with each other as he contemplated the best way to start this conversation.

“I uh…” He tried to speak, but the words fumbled in his mouth, leaving just as quickly as they came.

It’s ironic, just a moment ago he was begging for you to stay so that he could have the chance to talk to you, but now that his chance had finally arrived, he couldn’t think of anything to say.

As he stood there, overanalyzing a potential response, he noticed the way you scoffed, clearly annoyed at his delay in response.

You were growing impatient with him, and if he didn’t take the opportunity to speak with you now, you’d most likely never allow him another chance to waste your time again.

So, after what had seemed like hours of silence, when in reality was more like 1 minute, Reiner finally spoke up.

“Can you take off the hood?”

Your eyes quickly narrowed in confusion at his odd request. Out of everything he could’ve asked, everything he could’ve apologized for, this is the first thing he says?

“Why?” You questioned, still unsure of his intentions on the matter.

“I just…” He began, but his words quickly started to fade out, almost as if he felt unworthy to be asking in the first place.

Nevertheless, you were persistent.

“You just what?!” You snapped, frustrated at his apparent dedication to withhold information from you; a recurring dedication at that.

“I just…” he inhaled shakily before speaking, “I want to see your face.”

You paused at his words, taking a moment to process what he’d just said. After expecting something pitiful, or perhaps even bitter coming from him, it was quite a shock to receive this: a fairly tender request.

He wanted to see your face? Why? What difference would that make?

It’d be the same one he saw four years ago, nothing’s changed; at least, not to you.

Despite asking for something which would require him to look upwards, Reiner kept his eyes glued to the ground, as if he felt undeserving to see you again. It wasn’t until he heard the heavy sigh that jerked past your lips, along with the quiet “fine” you gave in response to his request that made him finally look up.

As his gaze lifted, watching you pull that gloomy hood off your head, Reiner was met with a flashback of memories.

It all reappeared in an instant: the sound of your adorable laugh, the way your hair looked when the sun glistened across it, even the small little habits he’d discovered about you as time went by; they were all coming back, recollecting in his mind clearer than if it all happened a day ago.

Reminding him, painfully, of a time when things were simpler, when he was happier, and, most regretfully, a time when he had you.

Pulling off that hood allowed him to finally lay eyes upon a face he hadn’t seen in ages. A face he used to watch soundly sleeping next to him at night, placing gentle kisses all over when no one was around.

It was the same face he used to stare at in fascination; taken back by the beautiful way your lips would curve upwards into a smile, or even the way your eyes radiated the most alluring shade of color when the sun shone across your skin.

That face was one he had desperately longed to observe once more for the entirety of four long years, and coincidentally, it was the same face that now stared him down with an irritated glare.

Absent was the sparkle your eyes once held for the man standing before you, and gone was the loving countenance you were never hesitant to grant him.

Now your face lay still, your features refusing to move even the smallest bit in case it were to form some sort of pleasant expression towards him accidentally.

Who was this woman?

If not for the fact that he had easily identified her face, Reiner wouldn’t have recognized her.

Where was the kind and loving woman he fell in love with? Was she not the one standing before him now?

No, this woman was different. This one seemed to hold an inkling of abhorrence towards him, easily provoked by just his presence alone.

Was this… the product of his own making?

Was this… what he’d turned you into?

As if he wasn’t tormented enough by his decision, now he was witnessing the consequences of his actions unfold before his very eyes.

“How.. how are you here?” Reiner stuttered, still in shock over the fact that you were actually standing there; that for whatever reason, his prayers to see you again had finally been answered.

“I’m only here in service of a friend; nothing else.”

Your response was so vague, so cold; nothing like the endearing way you used to speak to him.

“Which friend?”

“It doesn’t matter,” You replied forbiddingly. Your tone sounded so distant, so unfriendly towards him.

To think, the last time he heard your voice, it had told him “Goodnight, I love you.” But now that voice was harsh as it spoke, probably regretful of saying those very words after waking up to find out he’d abandoned you that next morning.

The difference in your tone was beginning to eat away at Reiner, straining that beating vessel in his chest more and more with each look of your indignant expression. As if you’d just picked up a shovel and started digging, deepening his guilt further than it already was; if that was even possible.

“Your minutes are up by the way, and I have to leave.” You suddenly spoke, hoping your statement was bleak enough to end the conversation, meaning you could finally leave; finally be free of him.

“Wait!” Just before you could escape, Reiner quickly reached forward and grabbed your wrist, clinging to it as if his life was hinging on it. “Wait please, don’t leave…”

“That’s rich coming from you.”

He deserved that. Honestly, he deserved more than that.

Call him whatever names you could think of, and he would let you, he’d allow every single one of them, no matter how excruciating, because he knew they were true; because deep down he knew he deserved them.

Nevertheless, even in doing so, whichever words you mustered up the courage to throw at him would still never amount to the pain he had caused you, or the amount of regret he held in his heart for that action itself.

“I’m not interested in what you have to say, Reiner.” Your words were like knives to his heart, causing the already aching organ to shudder yet again. “Whatever it is you should’ve said it four years ago.”

Was that true?

If he really did explain it to you before he left, would things be different now? Would you have understood his situation? Understood why he had to do it?

Why he had to leave?

“Please,” he implored, desperately maintaining that grip on your wrist. “Please, just let me explain it to you.”

It was pathetic, how he was begging like this, pleading for you to stay and hear him out as if he wasn’t the one that left you in the first place.

“Nothing you say will change what happened.”

He knew that was true, but in spite of that, he still refused to let you go again without telling you, without apologizing at the very least.

“I know,” he admitted, a glossy haze shimmering in his eyes as he looked at you. “But please, I want you to know the truth.”

A part of you wanted to leave, to deny him any further chances to cause you more pain with an explanation. However, another part of you wanted an apology. You wanted to hear his side of the story; to hear whatever excuse he had for abandoning you. No matter how twisted, or pitiful, his reasoning was, you couldn’t deny you had questions you wanted him to answer.

“Fine then. Tell me.” You quickly adjusted your posture, staring at him with your eyebrows raised; a gesture he remembered you only used when you were serious about something.

“Why did you betray us?”

Here it was, the moment he had been waiting for since this conflict arose: his chance to finally be understood, to be seen as more than just the traitor he was made out to be.

“I was given orders,” he started, retracting his hand from your wrist now that you’d clearly abandoned the option to run. “I had no choice but to follow them.”

“And what were your orders?” Your voice sounded heavy, almost as if it was hurting to bring all this back up again; like a wound that was still fresh, still desperately trying to heal itself.

Reiner’s mouth remained shut, his head lowering as he closed his eyes, not wanting to answer your question. He knew he’d be made to look like the villain no matter what he said, no matter which way he worded it.

Did that mean he really was the villain?

In your eyes, maybe.

Perhaps you’d never accept his side of the story, never be able to see past the wretched sins he’d carried out. But regardless, even if he never got the forgiveness he so desperately wanted from you, he couldn’t hide from the truth any longer. It was time to embrace it, all of it.

“They told us to sneak in and make allies first, that way we had the people’s trust and no one would suspect us.” He sighed, his eyes refusing to look up at you in fear of the face you’d make upon hearing his confession. “Once the time came, we were ordered to steal the founding titan by whatever means necessary. And if anyone tried to stop us, we had permission to silence them, using whatever tactics we deemed fit.”

Reiner’s heart felt tight as he let those words out, his shame growing stronger now that he was remembering it all, remembering what he’d done.

How did things end up like this?

He was just trying to do what he was trained to do: save the world from ruin; that’s all. But here he was now, that mission an embarrassing failure as he reminisced on his actions; the same actions that caused such sorrow for so many people, including himself.

And as if things weren’t bad enough, as if Reiner wasn’t feeling guilty already, he heard a sudden change in your breathing that could only mean one thing: you were beginning to cry.

“No, wait!” His head quickly lifted to look at you, instantly regretting it as your distressed face came into view. “Please, don’t cry.” He begged, using his thumb to wipe away the liquid collecting on your skin; which you surprisingly allowed him to do without putting up a fight.

“Don’t cry, okay? Not for me.” He demanded, despite his own eyes welling up with tears as well.

He just couldn’t bear it, knowing he was hurting you yet again.

It was almost as if nothing had changed, even after all those years. As if he was reliving those horrors of his past once more, reliving that anguish he saw imprinted across your visage when you found out he was the armored titan; the same armored titan that had killed so many of your friends.

You didn’t understand it, even now.

Was the man who used to dote on you really the same person as the one who carried out such violence and hatred against your people?

How could that be true? How could he have done such a thing, committed such betrayal against the woman he loved?

What changed? Was it something you did?

Or perhaps a more gut-wrenching explanation: he never loved you to begin with. Maybe that’s why it was so easy for him to give you up, maybe, this was his plan all along.

“What else?” You asked, your voice trembling in the process.

Reiner’s face quickly scrunched in confusion, unsure of what you were getting at. “What do you mean?”

“Were those your only orders?” Tears quickly began trickling down your face faster than Reiner could stop, your gaze looking more despondent than ever. “Was there really not anything else?” Your lips parted to let out a stinging sob, one that seemed like it’d been held in for too long.

It was obvious you were waiting for some sort of answer from him, and every second he delayed with a response was only tormenting you further.

But, even so, it didn’t change the fact that Reiner didn’t understand what you were asking of him; or what you wanted to hear so badly.

Your eyes stared at him in sorrow, more tears absorbing into your skin before you asked your question one last time; phrasing it differently now.

“Was falling in love with me a part of your mission too? Was I just another means to accomplish your end goal?”

Reiner’s heart convulsed at your words, his mouth agape to let out a pained gasp.

Did he just hear that right?

A tool?! Is that really what you thought? Is that really all you assumed you were worth to him?

As if you could ever be such a thing.

Granted, he understood how you may have assumed that, given the matter of his betrayal and all. But, despite that, he never expected such an absurd accusation.

There was a wide range of names you could’ve called him: a traitor, a liar, a monster; anything, and he would’ve accepted it; He would’ve owned up to it.

But this: questioning whether or not his affection towards you was genuine; that was one accusation he’d never admit to.

You were never a tool, you weren’t even a part of his plan to begin with. Falling in love with a woman of Paradis wasn’t exactly one of the orders he received when he was assigned to that mission. In fact, getting involved with you went against the sole purpose of him being there; the sole purpose of his assignment.

He was sent there to exterminate the Eldian race, to wipe out every last one of those despicable beings so that the world could finally be safe.

Falling in love wasn’t an order laid out in his job description at all, much less with a woman of Paradis. And yet, he did.

Reiner was a strategic man, he wasn’t one to easily abandon orders, no matter how difficult they may be. That in itself should’ve been enough to prove his affection toward you; because he never would’ve done such a thing had he not felt it was worth it, had he not felt you were worth it.

Nevertheless, here you were, teeth gritted in frustration as you impatiently awaited his answer.

Your face spoke only of torment, and it pained Reiner to have to witness it. The way your eyes were slanting together in an unsuccessful attempt to subdue your tears, your fingers curling into fists to help better contain your irritation, all of it was a clear sign of the repercussions his decision to abandon the woman he loved had caused.

It was just like the last time, you were falling to pieces over him once more, and Reiner couldn’t stand the sight of it.

Your gentle cries may not have been as loud and mournful as they were four years ago, but it didn’t matter; the fact that you were even crying in the first place was enough to make that twisting sensation return to his stomach; possibly becoming permanent at this rate.

Reiner stretched his arm out to grasp your hand, hoping to console you, however, you quickly backed away, refusing to let him touch you.

“I don’t want your pity!” you spat, your fragile body trembling from both the anger and suffering fueling inside. “I just want the truth! Did you ever love me?”

Was that even a question?

Yes, he was fully aware that it would’ve been hard to believe the authenticity of someone who’d abandoned you; someone who so easily decided to turn against you, as if doing so didn’t phase them in the slightest.

But regardless, ignoring the heinous crimes he’d committed, did you still believe he never loved you?

Were his actions before this messy conflict never enough to convince you of his sentiments?

What about all the times he’d hold you in his arms, whispering to you about how happy you made him feel? Did you really not believe any of that? Was he pouring out his heart’s inner-most secrets for nothing?

Or what about the times he’d surprise you with food, despite rations being low? He almost got caught stealing food for you so many times; which was unwise of him considering the fact that it could’ve possibly had him kicked out of the survey corps: meaning his whole plan to infiltrate the military would’ve gone up in flames.

Or, perhaps how he’d always try to keep an eye on you during missions, making sure you never encountered something too dangerous for you to handle. You always complained that he was being too paranoid, but it was only because, unlike you, he was aware of the kind of power titans held; the kind of pain they could’ve, he could’ve, inflicted upon a tiny human being.

All he ever wanted was to protect you, to do what was best for you. Did you really never realize that?

Even after he made Annie and Bertholdt promise not to lay a hand on you during their countless fights with the survey corps, even after all the times he put your saftey before his own mission, was it still never enough?

Even when he left you behind, did you really never consider the fact that he could’ve been doing it because he thought it’s what’s best for you?

You would’ve never been safe with someone like him, so he spared you from that danger by leaving.

Even though he caused you much pain by doing so, did you still never put that together?

“I understand if you don’t believe me when I say this,” Reiner began, “But I never stopped loving you.”

Even before any words left your lips, the doubtful look stringing along your face was enough to tell Reiner that you didn’t believe him; or were highly skeptical at the very least.

“If that’s true, then why wasn’t that enough for you to stay?”

He’d asked himself the same question so many times before. Why didn’t he just give up on his mission and stay with you? It’s not like he wouldn’t have preferred that option in comparison to the one he chose.

Why didn’t he just let the Marleyans presume him dead, forgetting his life in Marley and starting a new one with you on Paradis?

He wanted to, he considered it even. But there was one factor he was forgetting that made all the difference; one tiny reminder that convinced him to abandon that option in the end: you deserved better.

If he stayed behind like you would’ve wanted him to, like he would’ve wanted to, then he would’ve been living a lie; deception would’ve been rooted at the heart of your relationship.

He would’ve never been able to fully open up to you because doing so would mean he told you the truth about his past, about where he’s from and why he came here in the first place. He’d have to fabricate every detail about his life up until this point; tricking you into believing he was born inside the walls just like you. He’d need to have an excuse for everything: why his parents weren’t around, where he was born, what his home life was like, everything.

Nothing about his life would be real anymore, from the moment he’d wake up, to the second he drifted off to sleep at night, he’d be living a lie.

Every time he’d look at your innocent expression he’d be reminded of the secrets he was keeping from you, the lies he was tricking you with; and he couldn’t live like that. He refused to live like that.

“Staying would’ve only put you in danger, so I left, taking the danger with me.”

“I see.” Your voice was strained, as if you were having trouble processing everything. The shock from seeing him again so unexpectedly still hadn’t exactly worn off yet, and with the addition of all this new information piled on top, you didn’t necessarily know what to say; or how to react.

So, instead, you remained silent, hoping some ideas might materialize inside your head as you waited.

However, you weren’t kept waiting for long because Reiner quickly took an initiative to speak once again, asking something that left you stunned,

“Is it okay if I kiss you?”

Your head quickly flung upwards to look at him, contemplating whether or not you heard him right.

“What??” You asked, aghastly, desperately hoping you misheard his question.

“Is it okay if I kiss you?” He repeated, unfortunately proving that your ears were working just fine, and that you did in fact hear him correctly the first time.

He only meant it as a farewell, nothing more.

He knew this might very well be the last time he ever saw you again, so, with that in mind, he wanted to leave you with something pleasant to remember him by.

He had every intention of letting you go, he’d walk away and you’d never have to see him again afterward.

Just one last memory with you, that’s all he wanted. One last moment to reminisce on the merriment of his past before he let you go for good.

That’s what he wanted at least, but, when you finally uttered a response, he realized it might’ve been too much to ask for.

“I’m with someone else now, Reiner.”

Part One | Masterlist | Blog Home | Aot Masterlist

(YES THERE WILL BE A PART THREE. So comment below if you want to be tagged).

Tags : @thebadbatch @mvteria @nervouslad @ah-finally @usagikookiejams

This fic, and everything else I’ve written on my blog, is mine and only mine. I work very hard on everything I write so do not, under any circumstances, modify, copy, or steal my work.

Keep in mind that commenting to tell me what you liked, what you don’t, how I can improve, and any suggestions you have helps me A LOT more than simply liking my posts. If you’ve had the time to read my story, how much longer does it take to leave me some feedback on it? 😊