[“I want to give people some tips on what the cold cut-off is like.
First, you gotta stay cold. The whining will go on FOREVER. They will call you directly. They will email you. They will put EMERGENCY in the email subject, and you will find the EMERGENCY is Why Are You Doing This To Me, You Selfish Brat. They will leave messages. They will call you at work, because they are just so worried, are you okay? If you respond to any of this, even just to say “I AM NOT TALKING TO YOU,” all you have done is show them exactly how often and in what ways they have to harass you until you respond.
After the harassment, there will be niceness. Honeymoon. You will get gifts. Concern troll gifts. My dad, he wanted to buy me a coat. It’s so cold out there, I don’t know if you know that. I am worried about your health YOU STUPID BITCH here I don’t want you to get sick now I AM GOING TO PUT YOU IN A MENTAL WARD. These will be patronizing gifts meant to guilt you about how much they love you and how you are unable to care for yourself properly. Also, there will be checks. With the checks will be little check-ins. Did you cash the check yet? I see you didn’t cash the check yet. Did you get it? Could you just tell me if you got it? I know you don’t want to talk right now and that’s fine, you need space, but just let me know if you got the check? Or when you’re going to cash it? That’s all. Can you not even do that? Really? Are you that immature? Do you need help getting to the bank? Because I can drive you. It’s just a check, for chrissakes, you can’t even take free money?
After that phase passes, there will be a period of radio silence. It’s not over. It’s just a break. When it revs up again, it’ll be through third parties. My coworker saw you at the cafe. I hope you’re not drinking too much coffee. Here, your mother asked me to give you this trinket from your childhood. She seems really upset. I don’t know what happened between you, but I think she’s been through enough, don’t you?
If you can chop your way through that, there will be mostly silence. Except on birthdays, or Christmas. Then there will be passive-aggressive cards and gifts and FUCKING CHECKS.
Let’s shoot forward a few years. Let’s assume the cut-off has worked and they’ve stopped trying to drag you back. Here’s some shit you’ll have to put up with:
You Should Really Forgive and Forget
Strangers, friends, acquaintances, anybody who hears that you have an estranged family member will tell you to forgive and forget. They will tell you that family is wonderful and really more meaningful than whatever you’re going through. Also, bonus round, but WHEN YOU GET OLDER YOU’LL UNDERSTAND, double bonus round, BUT BY THEN THEY’LL BE DEAD AND YOU’LL REGRET IT. After dealing with this shit for years, I’ve found it’s best, for me, to not respond. Maybe give them an mmm, oh, that’s interesting, but it’s not worth it to explain my circumstances or refute their assumption of my personal feelings. If they cared about my circumstances, or my personal feelings, they would have asked.
What people are telling you when they have this round-up toy spiel is what they are capable of. They are not capable of cutting off their family. They are not capable of imagining a life without forgiveness. They are not capable, perhaps, of imagining your life. They are not capable of separating the word “family” from “blood relations.” They are not capable of conceiving of happiness without traditions. These are not bad things. It’s just them, the way they prefer to live. You live differently. The only thing is, you probably don’t go around accosting strangers and advising them to cut off their family, and if they don’t, they’ll grow old and regret all their years wasted placating and living in fear. So, stay that way. Don’t be that asshole. Just understand that other people don’t have the strength to live as you do, and you do not have the strength to live as they do, and that is all okay, as long as they shut up sometime goddamn soon.
You Are Capable of Leaving Me and I Am Terrified
You will get this from partners and from friends. They know you are capable of cutting off people you love very much, people you are supposed to be with forever. There is a line and it can be crossed, and after that, you are gone from their lives forever. They never seem to hear the, “You could always make amends,” part. Just the, “I am not speaking to you anymore,” part. Some people can’t handle that. A surprising amount of people can’t handle that. They can’t handle the fact that if they were to call you on your birthday you would not be pleasantly surprised and decide that it was really all so long ago anyway. They can’t handle the fact that if they blew into town you wouldn’t have an obligatory cup of coffee, or if they got married you wouldn’t call just to say congratulations. They can’t handle the fact that you wouldn’t friend them on Facebook, or ask other friends how they’re doing.
They can’t stand the fact that you could erase them and still manage to exist in the world, without them.
A friend of mine from college had cut off her family, too. She told me about an argument she had with an insecure, needy, hurtful boyfriend. He was pretty much entirely in the wrong, and when he had run out of arguments, he lashed out using her family. “I guess I just get scared,” he wheedled, “Because you cut off your family, I feel like you could cut me off, too.” She didn’t miss a beat. “Yeah,” she said. “I could. If that bothers you, we shouldn’t be dating.” She and I laughed about it later. As if it was supposed to hurt us, the idea that we could protect ourselves, that we could cut out the riffraff. I mean, she had cut off her ENTIRE family — a boyfriend was supposed to get her shaking now? Get a better ultimatum, man.
Flint tried to use this, too. So did an ex-girlfriend. During fights, they’d spit out something about how I can’t deal with family since I don’t have one. The truth was, I couldn’t deal with abuse if I wasn’t having it. If family meant what they were doing to me right then, then yes, I could not understand, would not understand, and would not participate. And that was fucking unacceptable to somebody who needed me to collude in their madness. They knew that if I made the choice to cut them off, it would be complete. We wouldn’t fight. They wouldn’t have any access to my feelings, my thoughts, my experiences, anything they could use to hurt me or know me.
When people say these things, try to cut me down for exercising my ability to define my boundaries, they are letting me know that they want to reserve the right to hurt me in specific ways. They are letting me know that if I stopped being a part of their life, they would lash out and refuse to let me go. They are telling me they expect this of me, they need this in place if they are to continue being my friend. They need to know that I will let them hurt me as a price for any love we shared. They are telling me that this is what they think love is.”]
Honestly the biggest disappointment I had researching ABC was that medieval authors did not, in fact, see the creatures they were describing and were trying their best to describe them with their limited knowledge while going “what the fuck… what the fuck…”
The answer to the above question, as well as to the unasked question of whether I’m using Jeeves & Wooster to critique the aristocracy via screencapped tumblr photosets, is ‘Yes’.
Omfg, what do I if I say yes like to 90% of the questions? D:
Here's the ADHD Checklist! I finally made it, it's originally from this post. But I've put it in a more easy to read manner.
Requested by: @partykeet I hope this helps!
If you don't know if you have ADHD or not but have an inkling you might, these are important questions to consider when self diagnosing and researching into the disorder!
Executive Dysfunction
Do you struggle with getting things done?
Do you mean to do it and you don’t?
Do you feel overwhelmed by trying to do it?
Do you forget to do it?
Do you feel like you can’t for whatever reason?
Emotional Dysregulation
Are you often told you’re overemotional?
Are you told you overreact?
Do you feel like you can’t control your emotions?
Do you often go from one emotion to the next?
Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD)
Do you react strongly without meaning to?
Do you get really depressed after wearing yourself out?
Do you feel awful after someone’s criticized you?
Do you often spiral when something goes wrong?
Do you feel like you can perk back up when that person asks you what’s wrong?
Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome
Do you have a hard time waking up?
Do you have a hard time going to bed?
Do you have very vivid dreams?
Are you aggressive and irritable when someone wakes you up (for like, school)?
Do you struggle keeping a consistent sleep schedule over vacation or summer break, even on the weekends?
Inattention(Dissociation) and Hyperfocus
Do you often zone out?
Do you daydream?
Do you get disinterested often?
Do you feel like you can multitask (listen to music and read at the same time)?
Do you get so absorbed in something that when you return to reality, hours have passed by?
Hyperfixation and Emotional Hyperarousal
Do you have “obsessions” or things that feel incredibly pleasurable/taste good when you interact with them?
Do you have a loud mind that runs a thousand miles a minute?
Do you feel overwhelmed or stressed out by your mind?
Do you overthink or overanalyze things?
Is your head really foggy or thoughts blurry?
Working Memory, Inattention and Object Permanence
Do you seem to have memory problems?
Like you cant remember something someone told you to do (homework, chores)?
Or you easily lose things, having it just been there?
Do you forget that things exist after having them put away?
Do you forget important things like birthdays, dates and numbers, but remember other “trivial” things?
Do you have a hard time remembering the past or your childhood?
Stimulation and Stimming
Does listening to music help you get things done?
Do you need to watch something while you’re eating and get distracted if you don’t?
Do you feel dissociated or distracted when you can’t listen to music or have your phone out?
Do you constantly fidget, shake your legs, play with parts of things?
Do you feel like if you try to stop fidgeting, you’ll feel an urge to do it more?
Do you have a million phone games?
Do you feel like some games aren’t enough to play on their own but some are too much that you can’t focus on anything else?
"Money Blindness" and Impulsivity
Do you have trouble with money when given control over it?
Do you spend money on things other people find pointless or useless?
Do you have trouble with microtransactions?
Do you feel like when you buy something that you’ll have enough money left for things you need?
Are you often broke? Especially if you claimed that you would save money?
Do you often feel like the consequences of buying something aren't that serious?
Time Blindness
Do you have a hard time keeping track of time?
Do you feel like you’re often late to things?
If not, do you have anxiety, and often panic about the time?
Do you often have a hard time keeping a schedule?
Do people say you have poor time management skills, but no matter what you do, you can’t fix it?
Habits, Executive Dysfunction and Disorganization
Do you have poor hygiene?
Do you struggle to remember to brush your teeth?
Is it hard taking a bath/shower? If so, does it take a long time to get into the bath or shower?
If left to your own devices do you wear the same outfit for days?
Do you often look disheveled despite trying to be organized and clean?
Do you often rub off makeup or have messy hair?
Do you try to be organized but no matter what, you can’t?
Boundaries, RSD, and Volume Control
Do you struggle with boundaries?
Do you have a hard time controlling your volume (either too loud or too quiet)?
Do you feel like you’ve ruined everything when someone tells you that you did something wrong?
Do you think you’ve offended people when you haven't?
Do you have a hard time judging reality correctly (like you think you’ve offended or hurt someone and you feel awful but it didn’t bother them that much)?
Disclaimer: Don't say someone who self diagnoses is faking. If you relate to these questions and symptoms, you definitely are not faking. ADHD is a disability that is incredibly hard to manage. People who have it don't like it as they have likely struggled all their life. Being undiagnosed and unmedicated is damaging and traumatizing. Be kind to people, especially if they don't have access to medical help.
here you have: http://www.miratuserie.tv/mira-sherlock/temporada-03/episodio-03/his-last-vow
CAN SOMEONE SEND ME A LINK TO THE NEW SHERLOCK EPISODE? PLEASE!
Honestly, I love the idea of a vampire who only drinks blood taken from blood banks and hospitals, because it so beautifully encompasses someone who's more concerned with the vibes of something than the actual impact of it.
Drinking from someone on the street, barring some other condition they may have, isn't likely to kill them unless you gorge yourself. Taking blood packs? There's always a shortage of blood, and having even less of it runs the very real risk of getting someone killed in a way that is wholly out of your control once you've sipped on that blood. Someone you can't assure the innocence or guilt of, if you're the type of person who cares about that.
Despite that, in popular stuff, I often see discussions of drinking from a blood bank being somehow better or preferable, and yeah. No. The only thing it does is make you feel better while doing more harm, because of that degree of removal. You're effectively drinking blood from someone on the cusp of hypovolemic shock, but since it's not straight from the tap, some people seem to think it's better.
1) Put your iTunes on shuffle. Give me the first 6 songs that pop up.
2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?
3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.
4) What do you think about most?
5) Ever had a poem or song written about you?
6) Do you have any strange phobias?
7) What's your religion?
8) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?
9) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?
10) What was the last lie you told?
11) Do you believe in karma?
12) What does your URL mean?
13) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?
14) Who is your celebrity crush?
15) How do you vent your anger?
16) Do you have a collection of anything?
17) Are you happy with the person you've become?
18) What's a sound you hate; sound you love?
19) What's your biggest "what if"?
20) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?
21) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.
22) Smell the air. What do you smell?
23) What's the worst place you have ever been to?
24) Most attractive singer/s of your opposite gender?
25) To you, what is the meaning of life?
26) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?
27) What was the last movie you saw?
28) What's the worst injury you've ever had?
29) Do you have any obsessions right now?
30) Ever had a rumor spread about you?
31) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?
32) What is your astrological sign?
33) What's the last thing you purchased?
34) Love or lust?
35) In a relationship?
36) How many relationships have you had?
37) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?
38) Where is your best friend?
39) What were you doing last night at 12 AM?
40) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?
41) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?
42) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?
43) What's a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?
44) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?
45) How can I win your heart?
46) Can insanity bring on more creativity?
47) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?
48) What would you want to be written on your tombstone?
49) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word "heart."
50) Basic question; what's your favorite color/colors?
51) What is your current desktop picture?
52) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?
53) What would be a question you'd be afraid to tell the truth on?
54) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?
55) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?
56) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?
57) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?
58) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?
59) Ever been on a plane?
60) Give me your top 5 hottest celebrities.
Please do it!
there’s no way you can convince me spock wasn’t a jelly gf to kirk during STID