I Really Needed This. It Took Me Years To Understand Who I Am, Specifically Because Of Awful Men And

i really needed this. it took me years to understand who i am, specifically because of awful men and experiences with men in my life who made me terrified of men and masculinity. i was scared to the point that i violently rejected myself every time i started to feel like maybe i wasn’t a girl because i was so scared of being a man and what that might mean for me as a person. it took meeting and becoming close with some wonderful trans men and a very wonderful and special cis guy for me to finally relax and realize that i didn’t have to be afraid. that being masc isn’t being evil or dangerous. that there are truly beautiful, lovely men out there, some trans and some cis. that despite how dangerous the men of the world can be, there’s good too. and i am fully capable of being part of that good. i’m still working on internalizing it. thank you op <3

Idk what trans man needs to hear this but you're NOT evil or disgusting for being a man. You do NOT have to suffer for the sins of the patriarchy committed by cis dudes. Being a man doesn't invalidate the misogyny you experienced growing up or experience now. Being a man doesn't mean you deserve to be isolated. Being a man doesn't mean you're inherently predatory or scary. You didn't "choose" this, and finding your true self is NOT "betraying the community" because you happen to be a man and/or masculine rather than a woman and/or feminine. You ARE allowed to be upset when people "affirm" your gender by malgendering you.

You DO deserve a community that uplifts you. You DO deserve to experience trans joy. You DO deserve to have your voices heard and your struggles recognized. Wanting the bare minimum of solidarity is NOT "making everything about trans men".