Child Of The Moon

~✧°+* 12/100 days of doing better*+°✧~

11.08.2023

Today was chore day. I got a lot done, just nothing for school, sadly.

I also rearranged one of my book shelves! (As you can see above) Space is always a problem in this apartment so I'm preemtively rearranging for future books

Positive things I did today:

kept the duolingo Spanish streak going

cooked a warm meal

cleaned the kitchen

changed the sheets

did the laundry

packed my siblings' birthday presents

Hours slept: ~7hrs 45mins Screentime: 4hrs Steps taken: ~500

daiy routine reveal

that image that goes i want to do this. do it. but im scared. do it scared. changed my life

~✧°+* 39/100 days of doing better*+°✧~

11.09.2023

My younger sister started school again today! She graduated earlier this summer and is now starting vocational training. I am super proud of her! She has some health issues that affected/affect her development and because of that many doctors predicted that she wouldn't ever be able to get to where she is now. Despite all that she worked hard and got far because of it. She'll have to keep working hard and it won't always be easy for her, but I believe that she's going to accomplish great things <3

I also did some self reflecting those past days. My mental health declined a little bit ever since I arrived at my parents'. I'm pretty sure it's mainly stress and the change of environment that is messing with me, but I do believe that my diet is playing a part as well. My family eats a lot of processed food as well as a lot of animal products. When I moved out last year I changed my diet quite drastically. I don't eat animal products often anymore and rarely buy candy and so on because I know I tend to over-eat on things like that. Now that I'm surrounded my all those foods again I gotta make more of an effort to watch what I'm eating. I really hope that'll help.

Positive things I did that day:

started research for my big essay again

continued looking for internships

got some work done for my job at the university

watched Breaking Dawn part 2

Hours slept: ~9hrs Screentime: ~6hrs 30mins Steps taken: ~600

(𝔗𝔬𝔡𝔞𝔶… 𝔱𝔬𝔡𝔞𝔶 𝔦𝔱 𝔥𝔲𝔯𝔱𝔰.)

~✧°+* 19/100 days of doing better*+°✧~

18.08.2023

Do you also have those friends that you love dearly and have fun hanging out with, but who you simply can't talk about work with? I have a very strict (and borderline toxic) work ethic in which I have very high expectations towards myself and hold myself to a certain standard I feel like I have to meet in order to be worth something (which is crazy, I realize that). I don't hold other people to those standards, but when I do have conversations about work and academia with people who are a bit more relaxed about it I get incredibly anxious. And something like that happened today, which kind of forced me to take a break from the Hamilton essay because I was freaking out, thinking I wasn't doing enough and too much at the same time. I'm pretty sure I'm on the right track but I still doubt myself a lot when it comes to those things, especially when I am talking to people who are older or in higher semesters.

I tried to drown out the buzzing sound of anxiety with Sims and it honestly worked quite well.

Positive things I did today:

organized my Hamilton sources

took a break when I was feeling stressed

took a walk

continued reading Swimming in the Dark

Had a couble of drinks with friends

Hours slept: ~7hrs Screentime: ~7hrs 30mins Steps taken: ~9.100

I think I'm ready to crawl out of my 6 month long, dark, lonely burnout hole once again to grace the Internet with some original content, some finely curated, self made posts.

But I'm out of ideas. Or maybe I've just become to insecure about all the things my brain conjures up. But I long for community.

notes app poem, unfinished (2. january 2023)

“Years of love have been forgot, in the hatred of a minute.”

— Edgar Allen Poe