When She Says She Doesn’t Send Nudes

I know I'm strong, and I know I can handle anything that's thrown at me, but FUCK dude. why are people throwing things at me

Having to clean the shower is so fucking annoying. It’s clean in there. That’s where I go to get clean. It’s clean dude trust me. Stop fucking growing bacteria and stuff man this is the clean locale. You’re embarrassing me in front of the sink

Contracting black lung from working the coal mines is so aesthetic

This could actually happen in the show and I don't know how to feel about it

SALAD FINGERS PLEASE?????

THE TITULAR CHARACTER from SALAD FINGERS got an abortion!

Having one random ass character be the one human being would be hella funny, like give me Eowyn as Miranda Otto and have every other muppet exclaim her name in unison I beg you

Texts From Superheroes

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Chat, Imma start anwsering all my no reply emails, get ready for some real disruprion of world order. Get ready to look out the window and see that shot from Fight Club (1999) with the exploding buildings.

It's gonna be wild I'm telling you

Hey just pretend this post was really smart and funny okay