Dead In A Shallow Puddle

Underdogs

Hey now,

What happened to being proud of being an underdog?

What happened to wearing the pain like a badge of honor?

The only badge I’ll get to wear

Because I am not smart

I've just gotten really good at faking

And faking gets you nowhere

That’s why I'm now here,

In this damned place for public humiliation and I'm supposed to be grateful

Hey now,

Let’s bare our teeth

We make it by the skin of them

There's nothing quite like an artist’s pain,

The heart trying to leave the body through the throat

You know it’s bad when your own heart wants out

It rips itself from the chest

As if it were merely attacked with Velcro

Weak

Hey now,

We don’t play horribly safe

But risks and gambling are the only way we can live with ourselves

And we never fucking learn

Making the same mistakes

As if we were geniuses in our tattered shoes

We continue on living like we knew something else ought to happen

Fools is what we are

And we’re too damned stubborn to change our ways

Hey now,

Sometimes you get to taste the sea on your salty lips, 

And they can’t

This whole place is friggin rigged

Just deport me already

I know too much,

Of depression

Because I became so lonely

Without something, anything

Hey now,

Where are the others?

Now is our time to join

To stop the artists’ creative pain

And stupidity

Of thinking that writing, painting, drawing, singing, playing,

Is going to stop it

Like staying up late working overtime for free,

Is going to get you anywhere

Hey now,

There’s supposedly baseball stadiums full of you

Who stay home to avoid getting bullied

If adults think that your education is so important

Then why do they make you feel so bad?

Hypocrites!

Guys stay home,

The lessons they teach in school

Have only taught me to hate myself

Hey now,

Let’s not become our own bullies

Let’s just do something

Like raise hell

Gotta fuck up this world some more

Because apparently leaving without making a mark, isn’t good

But as underdogs

We are stuck wearing choke chains

And muzzles

Hey now,

Class E is a proud class

Full of assassins

Let’s be like them

Get disappointed

Then build yourself up

Don’t let brick walls stop you

Don’t let gravity get you down

And don’t let tornadoes twist and turn you into a hot mess

Hey now,

They don’t know our pain,

Of working hard for nothing But as underdogs we are the people that keep coming, we’re the people that live

They don’t know about the ghost

The ghost of good ‘ol Tom Joad 

Words

People say that words can’t hurt you

But words can make you dangerously blue

They say that sticks and stones hurt more

But they don’t get that words aren’t a bore

Words have a lot of meaning

Stop the brain cleaning

Why do you think I write poems?

Poems are my home

Sticks and stones may break your bones but they can’t ever hurt your soul

Unless you let them slip through a little hole

Words have a way of sneaking around everyone’s hearts and minds

Too bad you don’t have to pay a fine

Some words hurt like knifes

Don’t let it ruin your life

Words can leave marks,

Scars and painful friction sparks

Other words are kind

Some can blind

You can’t only say I love you to me

You have to not just prove it but make me see

I now don’t trust easily at all

People who I used to trust have made me fall

Not only did they do that they made sure that I heard their laughter

After

I can still hear them in my head

When everyone else is in bed

Sleeping

While I lock myself in my room weeping

Their laughter always growing louder

Why must I cower?

I wish I was strong like everyone else

I just want to be my old self

Everyone says I'm strong but really I'm not

They don’t know I cry a lot

They say I'm strong

But they're wrong

They all think I'm fine

They say that while all they do is shine

I'm just the cloudy, dirty, run down, rusty

Musty…

No one ever wants me

I'm the third wheel all the time, you see

You always tell me someone is worse off than me

Why can’t you just flee?

The laughter is so loud that it is part of the beat of my drum

What have I become?

Why do you enjoy making me feel worthless?

You are careless

The stress

Of always trying to be the best

You’ve made me a mess

I just want to be me

You never hear my pleas

Of just let me be me

I beg you please

Just turn it off

And step off

And you wonder why I don’t tell you anything or even speak at all

I just don’t want to bawl

Stop looking at me with that stupid judging look

I gratefully have unhooked

From you

We’re not stuck like glue

I've lost faith in the human mind

You can’t even be somewhat kind

Words make up the human world

Sometimes they can be bold, twisted and curled

Words hurt more than physical pain

You have a box of permanent letters in your brain

Of all the mean,

Things ever said to you, you're fat, you should be more lean

Some of the letters are signed with your name

Yes you are that lame

You really are your worst enemy

Slowly killing yourself…

Pages

I don’t know what love is

I just can’t wrap my head around it

Like the size of the universe

Love makes people do crazy things, but it just usually makes me curse

How could you not lose hope and keep lining up shells?

Because of love

I am third wheeling it

And it’s lonely

But not for the lovers, only

They are unconsciously awake

Let’s travel

And get a plane ticket

To a place where our hearts don’t feel heavy with atmosphere

Dear,

Let’s start again

Even if I feel like a spring…

Stressed out

Is how I work

Otherwise

I just sit on my ass instead of taking to the skies

I need to get away to any other place

A new reality where I will not be a sad tragedy

But will have a happily ever after

Filled with much laughter

Because any other place has got to be better  

I currently live in a deep cave of a library, that’s full of empty dreams

I stare at the ceiling as I scream with laryngitis

And I feel the shelves towering over me, all around

I'm a story that someone forgot to put down

And I just want to be put on the shelf

Sometimes it seems like I can see the most clearly when I am blinded by tears

Because that’s when I'm not avoiding my feelings

It’s like I am able to see the lopsided way the world moves

The inner working grooves

That are so complicatingly simple

I wonder not when, but if the pieces will ever fall together

Being the mismatching misfit that I am

I don’t know if I am a puzzle that can be put together; maybe I was made wrong

All along,

A factory mishap

I want you to hold me as close as pages of a book that are bound to the spine

Because maybe

You could force and weld pieces of me together and get readjusted

As I fall apart and become more rusted

Like the tin man  

I have a heart

I just don’t like to let on to that,

It’s actually not stone cold at all

It’s quite the opposite

It’s all mushy and squishy

What Happened?

What happened to us?

What's with all the fuss?

How do you not know why you texted her?

My friend said that it wouldn’t be a good idea to get back with you; I concur

I'm afraid to call you an oaf

Since you still have my loaf

I don’t want to call you a nitwit

Even if that word perfectly fits

I don’t want to call you what you still are

To me what you are seems so far

I don’t want to say

You never really loved me all those days

We had, I had plenty of good thoughts

For you, I unfortunately had the wrong timed hots

No matter how badly you want to get back with me

Well now you'll get to feel how I did when I disagreed

It wasn’t a smart thing to do

This love was true

You literally ruined it for your good

You loved her, I understood

Now without you distracting me

I can get a good degree

You now are going to end up all alone

Even if you try to phone

I'm not going back to my heartbreaker

You were my heart taker

You better never say that I never loved

Last time I believed you when you sent your doves

This break up doesn’t really hurt

It will though, just wait for her dirt!

SOS

This captain is going down with his ship

Of course I have thought about ditching and abandoning

But I guess it’s seen as better if you just sink with your heart,

When you know you’ve failed

I am superman

I am a man of steel

I am a king

Of course I'm scared

But “Even if all you do is fail, then fail and fail again”

I'm climbing a ladder and I'm scared I won’t be able to get back down

Once I make it to the top I must brace myself for the dreaded fall

I am scared

I am not shore

I am crazy within my idiocy

I must do what floats my boat

My life is a sinking ship, not Noah’s Ark

And I can’t find the life boats

Or the flare

I am an iceberg

I am a rock

I am an island

I am sinking on the quicksand of confusion from the ship of Theseus

I should hold my breath

And put a message in a bottle

That won’t make it back to land in time

Dit dit dit

Da da da

Dit dit dit

Shoulder ache

Shoulder ache

Stomach ache

I'm drowning in a lake

I am not

What you thought

And I never will be

Beautiful

In your world

And now you seem so fake

I'm going

Away now

Just to avoid the pain

Come

Back

Limited Old times

Not

All

Is always okay

Please just talk

I will gawk

Please let us be alone

I'm not great

Do not hate

I know I come on strong

I know that

I’m awkward

But I know I love you

I will dance

In a trance

If you give me a chance

Looking Back

Looking back I realize that

With the great irony

They were exactly what they warned us about

I made it out

By hiding my emotion

So no one had any idea what I was actually thinking

The last time

Tasted unusual

Playing like a surreal movie in my head

Walking into the arms

Of the people

They told me rumors about and yet I'm now doing better than I ever have

I'm here

Knocking down the walls

That held in so many peoples stories that I had no idea about

The hard look

I got with my degree

Made me want to scream but, man, too bad we never did

Friendship

The pain has returned

An ice melting burn,

That loses your best friend

That hand they used to lend, They retreated

When they are exactly what you needed

I liked them better before,

They left for a cup of sugar next door And there was someone else

Who was the first person I told about ol' Bergen Bels.

I had to let go

Time went fast, time went slow We got too close

I'm sorry for you, I had my goodbye toast

What is friendship,

Without the jump and the flip? Time stealing

Dime dealing

Time can make a wound

And put you in your tomb

A Pound of Rocks

Fallen, struck, and forgotten

I am ready for the fight

Hear me out

I will win the war of being particular

The only difference between me and you

Is that, despite the war, I want you

I knew that when we met

You were a doll

With your appearance of a revolutionary uniform

You seemed like an ice cold bitch

At first you made my blood go cold

Oh but Mary, you will live on

My heart feels like its full of a pound of rocks rather than

A pound of feathers

Feelings are not always accurate

Worried and hurried

My heart is bound to you

With the simplest of things that you left me with

On account of that

My heart takes flight

And my tears dried themselves

I'm my own hero

Though I do

Imagine that it’s you

Journaling

I leave my journal laying open at night, hoping that the words will fly off the page

And drift out the window into the night air

And dance around the moon

I should start dreaming soon

Too many bugs flying around my world

You wouldn’t want forever

People change

And you’ve never seen my rage

I miss your calming

Smooth

Sing-song voice

You left me no choice

But to trust

And live in the exhilarating moment

And taught me that you don’t have to chase

Or try to erase

Moments

Of happiness and sadness

The magic is already there

Sparking in the air

Getting stuck in your crazy hair

That I miss more than you'd ever know

I'm stuck in negative time

While forgetting how to rhyme

Where are my feelings?

Behind my eyes

Sharp

Hidden under the weathered tarp

One day I will finish writing my story

And I’ll let the words swarm you like a tornado of bees

Or a meteor shower

A universe with all the power