Hate to say this but i don't really think some people can just live their life without poking into other's business and causing unnecessary turmoil so, here's a guide to avoid all types of unnecessary drama in your life.
A full communication circle.
Communication is the main cause for most fights so, here's the thing. When there is something that needs to be done, inform all necessary people about it in advance. Here's a mistake most do, they just tell one person and ask them to put forward the message to the others but tell them directly. Literally, it is the safest option for you, like no one can blame you that you didn't tell them. No one can hold it against you. So tell them directly. And from time to time get repeated reminders so they remember.
Don't involve yourself in unnecessary talks
This is serious. If you are sitting and your friends are complaining about someone, you just listen to them. Don't add on to the things and hype up them. If you know that person isn't like that, defend them subtly. Involving in gossip is the worst. When someone says something about another person or even you then just reply with "I don't really care, they are/ I am free to do whatever they/I want." Or "I don't have the energy for this." Or "It's really none of my business/concern".
If you demand respect, you need to give respect.
Be nice to everyone, I am serious about this. Even if you're not friendly with the person or you don't like them, just be nice. It won't hurt you or them. Even if they do something to hurt you, just let it go with a "Meh it's fine but i would appreciate it if you won't do it again". This may even work people up a bit, handle yourself with care. Make it seem that their presence doesn't actually threaten you.
Calm composure.
Keep yourself calm and composed whenever you're faced with a difficult situation, do not react immediately, take a breath. I usually just frown but more than that, I won't react to anything. It takes some practice but eventually, this is useful. The reason for you to maintain a calm composure is because if the person who hurt you is looking for a dramatic reaction, don't give them the satisfaction.
Better articulation
Especially if it's important instructions! When someone accuses you of something, don't immediately raise your voice, think for a moment, let them wait and then reply with what had actually happened in your point of view.
Apologize. Even if it isn't your fault.
Sometimes, people are just shitty and they won't understand even if you explain it a hundred or a million times. In those case, just say the magic two letter word -> "I'm sorry" or "I apologise". Your worth doesn't come down just because you apologised, on the other hand, you just became a better person than the other one.
It's simply not your damn business.
When someone directly tells you about their life etc etc. You lend a compassionate ear to them. If it's a story going around the whole place, it's simply not your business. And you can say this directly to the person passing the gossip, if they argue then that means you now actualy are aware of another gossip machine.
Don't EVER share your opinions on important matters with a person higher than you! Especially not in front of other people!
I'm damn serious, you don't know who will have it against you so, be careful around who you're saying things to. Other important matters include opinions about the specific person, politics, nationality, culture etc etc. Be sensitive.
Break the chain
When you hear something bad is going around and it reaches you, keep it to your damn self. Don't go adding the fuel to the fire like the rest!
Do not assume!
Don't assume about a situation or a person. Clarify. Always clarify. You may not know what the other person was going through, you don't know everything. Just don't think something, clarify it. No body is going to get mad at you for clarifying.
Make excuses.
When you hear someone talking bad about someone else. Defend them. Make excuses. I don't mean lie to them, I mean saying things like, "It's alright. You don't know what they were going through." Or "Maybe something happened that you don't know about." Personally, I always use the second one because I feel like, sometimes, people aren't bad guys. Situations make them act like that. Povs differ. So be mindful.
Don't raise your voice. Improve your argument.
If there is an argument. Do the classic Harvey Specter thing. You improve arguments with a neutral tone. Don't sound mocking or cocky, sound like you're just explaining to them. This won't escalate the scenario. (The quote was actually given by Desmond Tutu)
Hope this helps! :)
Hey any last minute revision tips for tests/exams? I always struggle with it
Hey there Anon!
First of all, during revision, I try my level best to recall everything without actually going through the topic but it's kinda difficult so glance through the topic before you close the book and recall every single point.
Revise the chapters that you know well and are confident in first because it's better to thoroughly know some specific topics than being doubtful in every single topic.
Do not, under any circumstances, start to learn a new topic during revision (unless the topic is like really really important). It will only cause you panic.
If you find yourself distracted, move around alittle.
More distractions? Act like you're a tutor or teacher.
Don't study the whole topic line by line, recall important key words and examples.
Don't set a time limit for each topic. Set time limits for the whole syllabus. (Like, if you have 12 lessons. Think you'll complete 6 of them by the afternoon, allow 2 hours grace time and viola, you now know half the syllabus completely)
Take breaks. Both the 20 mins and 20 second breaks (-> 20 sec post)
Eat some snacks in between. I personally don't prefer meals because I get really lazy and sleepy after that.
Do not call your friends to ask how much they've revised because you'll definitely panick.
Go through your material. If you don't remember a topic which you actually have studied, write short notes just beside it.
Use past question papers and practice problems.
Quiz yourself. Say your answers out loud.
If you have no idea where to start, just go from the shortest chapters because then you'll feel like you have completed some syllabus.
Lastly, whatever you do, sleep early. Atleast before 11 pm because you need to be fresh for the exam.
Basically. Recall. Summarise. Quiz. Repeat.
Hope this helped! <3
How To Self Study
This is coming from a girl who spent her fresher and sophomore year studying at home and yes, I got good grades. So, here are some tips that I followed for studying by myself without depending on any teachers.
So, let's get into it!
Gather and organise material
This is important, why? What are you going to study if you have absolutely no idea what your syllabus and study material is? By materials I mean:
Textbooks (If you have any)
Practice papers
Previous year papers
Extra reading materials/ Reference books
If you don't have any textbooks. Go through the topics that you have and gather resources from different sources.
Tip: Have at least 1 extra reading material for every subject/paper. It helps you understand some topics that are explained in a complex manner in textbooks which is almost all the time.
Don't depend on your teacher
Teachers are good. Seriously. But their attention will always be shifty. They have a lot of students to teach, from many other classes so if you depend only on your teachers for clarifying your doubts or being at the back of you to study then newsflash, its going to be hard. Rather, be your own teacher. Don't go "I'll ask this to her/him tomorrow after class" because that will be your answer every time you have even a small question which can easily be solved by a simple search. You're saving your time and theirs.
Tip: If you're someone like me who gets distracted when you take up your phone even for a second then write down all your questions in a paper and search them later after your study session.
Make notes
I usually say this because notes help you understand topics. There are many methods of taking notes. I usually don't follow any structure for note taking, I just read and write keywords under the topic name, linking a few things here and there.
Tip: Notes need not be aesthetic. Seriously. You can be as messy as you can.
Watch videos related to concepts
This helps and I know most already do this.
Tip: When you finish watching a topic, close the video and write down what you understood and then play the video again, fill in the gaps that you missed and watch it again.
Study in chunks
I always believe that whatever you do, you should do in chunks. Instead of doing one chapter, divide it. Into small bits. I'll tell you, you'll see the difference. I don't usually recommend Pomodoro since it doesn't work for me. I don't keep a time limit or a set number of breaks. I finish a chunk and if I am tired, I take a break otherwise i continue.
Tip: Self quiz yourself after each chunk and then take a break. Then after you finish the chunks for the whole chapter with the self quizzing then self quiz yourself randomly for every chunk. Here's an additional tip. Take 20 second breaks.
Period of deep work
This is not a new concept, i didn't realize i did this at first. Basically, when you start your work. You do nothing but work. Like nothing else. No phones. No snacking. No unwanted thoughts. Just nothing but what you have to do. That is to study.
Tip: It is difficult to implement this right away especially if you have a habit of it getting distracted easily so i just suggest => Start smaller. One topic with full concentration. It would usually take you 20 - 30 mins to get immersed in the work. 40 mins if it's something you don't like but once you get the momentum? An unbelievable achievement really. And then, change your environment.
Quality > Quantity && Consistency> Cramming
One hour of productive studying is better than nine hours of useless studying. I feel like it's better to study 20 mins everyday rather than the whole night before an exam. It just causes stress.
Tip: Start early. Your teacher is on chapter 5? And you still don't get chapter 1, it's fine. Start learning. Seriously, it's okay to be behind. You just have to stick. Do it everyday and you'll see results that is better than those who are just keeping up with the teacher.
Deadlines Are Mandatory
Have deadlines. There are a number of ways to do this. I'm a person who is really lazy and a weird soul who would never complete their to-do list for the day if they write it down. It would always be left unfinished. So i just keep a mental time limit and the thing i have to get done.
Tip: Overestimate your deadline. Like, let's say i have to complete around 15 lessons that week. I keep my deadline to around 25-30 and i eventually complete 15. It's about adapting to what works for you. Just change according to what works for you.
Practice questions / Previous Year Papers
I can never emphasize this enough. The best way to prepare for any exam is just do practice questions or previous year questions. You will learn a lot of things. The topics that are important or repeated. The topics that are never asked.
Tip: Grade yourself on each paper. Circle the questions in your textbook while you are studying and practicing. Then when you have to actually study then you can actually revise the topics a bit more thoroughly. If you want to know more, click here.
It's okay to be behind in class
During my first term in senior year, the whole class was around 5 chapters ahead for every test and exam while me? If they were on chapter 12, i was in chapter 4 or 5 but i understood the concepts and took my sweet time with each chapter. Because the more time you take for a chapter, the better it stays in your memory.
Tip: Here is where active recall comes handy. When you revise one chapter, take a 2 day break and study another subject and then go back to the chapter and answer the practice questions. If you're able to do them, great! If not, revise more and then look at it after 3-4 days. Repeat until you have no mistakes in your answers. This helps in long term retaining.
Make It Interesting
How do you study boring subjects? You adapt. Mind maps don't work for me. Neither does flash cards. So, i found something that did. Storytelling. Take your most boring subject, turn it into a story. Make it bearable.
Tip: Tie it somethings that you like. For example, business studies was the most boring one for me so obviously, every topic was a story for me. HR Theories and Processes? ==> An office romance story. Management Principles? ==> A fantasy story where a group goes on a quest. Make It interesting. Make it gripping. And let me tell you, this actually works because our minds grasp stories better than just normal theory jargon.
Difficult Topics Are Only Difficult Because You Think They Are
This was something that i learnt the harder way. Everything looked difficult at the beginning. Everything. But the most difficult paper was maths. Because i had no teacher. Literally. I was learning from YouTube, searching different sites for tips and tricks. I thought it was too difficult and then i was like "i have to do it anyway no matter how much i brood" so i started from scratch like 3 months before my exams.
Tip: A mind set change is everything. If you think it is easy. The topic will be more bearable. If you think it's tough, it's going to be more tough. If you want some more tips for complex topics, click here.
Hope this helps !!! :)
failure hurts
don’t panic or stress
keep it under control
you can do it
i know you can
question your wrongs
learn from your mistakes
change your plan
fix your regime
learn from others around you
start with a fresh mind
renew yourself
failure does not define you
Well, today was alright i guess. I did some accounts and economics... and for some reason, I'm like one of the few in my class who actually is anxious about the finals, especially accounts. Like, i literally an so confused with it this year but everyone else is like "Oh wow dude I love accounts this year, it's so easy" and I'm like T-T
Anyway, Today I:
Did 2 sums in accounts (took me 2 hours almost)
Made some economics notes
Didn't do alot today, I had a headache and was practically fighting to stay awake. The fact that we had 3 accounts periods after lunch did not help, not to mention, we had absolutely no tests today because everything was postponed to tomorrow with 2 extra tests... I don't even know why our teachers do this, like follow the schedule please T-T
Did 2 accounts sums (yes, only 2 because that alone took me 2 hours to understand and yet I'm still unsure about it T-T)
(Competition selection is tomorrow... I hope I get in ://)
✉️ your academic “motto”?
Hey dear Anon! Thanks for the ask. :D
✉️ your academic “motto”?
I don't really have one, honestly. I generally like to watch study motivations on YouTube and Pinterest and different mottos work for me depending on my mood and i don't really repeat the same motto everytime 😅
Though, currently I've been repeating this phrase "I know more than I think I do" It really helps with my anxiety so yeah.
If you received this you are a great mutual 🫂 Send this to 10 of your mutuals to spread love 🤍🤍🤍
Heyyy :) thanks!
|| Isabelle || INFP-T || Study tips || Self improvement || Books ||
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