“Do More Things That Make You Forget To Check Your Phone.”

Seriously... this is just SUPER COOL! Bravo gentlemen. Bravo indeed. hahaha

Show me.

I have had "friends", lovers, family, and more prove MANY times over how easy it is to say whatever the person thinks you want to hear but proving that their words are true... well, that's a whole different story. I've seen the attitudes as lies are defended. I've watched the lies change and shift depending on the moment. What I haven't really seen is people being honest, true, and open. So yeah, at this point... if you want me to believe.... show me.

I am not a ghost.

I don't have a job. I have always had a hard time making money. I will not show you my tits or do sexually charged things with you. I won't constantly stroke your ego. I can't connect you to anyone "important". I won't agree with everything you say or do. I won't laugh at stupidity with you. I don't think life is always easy nor do I feel that easy is always the best idea. No, I won't make sure to maintain a certain "appearance", I don't even wear make-up. While I do understand that money is a "need", waving your net worth at me will not impress me. I strongly believe in effort, learning, and making constant adjustments. I have often put a lot of energy into helping others but I have finally also accepted that I deserve acknowledgement and help as well.

I know. I understand. More than one human has explained that I am simply being too difficult and that's why I can't connect. I get it BUT, I also understand that I'm not invisible. Just because I am not one to conform to common behavior patterns does not mean that I deserve to be treated like I am even less noticeable than the homeless person you happily see as either a problem, or a way to feel better about yourself by donating to the charity case. I am very much alive. I too have feelings. I... am not a monster... or a ghost! I am simply different. I don't want to be medicated or changed so I can be more "normal". I just want to be me, and be accepted as human. Yes, I know... good luck with that. Humans can't even seem to get beyond skin color so why would I expect my list of differences to be accepted? meh... A girl can dream.

Pulled in to the parking garage.... giggled when I saw the creeper van. Pulled up next to it then decided nope, I'm parking directly across from it. Once I did, I had to admit... I wasn't sure if I should fear the driver, or pet the van. hahahaha Kinda cute for a creeper van. hahaha .... To be clear.. no scary driver appeared and no, I did not pet the van. lol

RAWR!

I hope all you humans are having some fun today. Me? Oh, I got to do a yard chore that required the use of a sledgehammer so yes... I am doing quite well today. When one can use a sledgehammer to be productive, it's good mental and physical health... as long as you don't hit yourself that is. hahaha

Cutie… patootie... agouti? You might know the capybara, but what about its distant cousin the red-rumped agouti (Dasyprocta leporina)? This wide-ranging mammal can be found in forests throughout northern South America including Colombia, Brazil, and Venezuela. Though smaller than its more famous relative, this hefty rodent can weigh up to 13 lbs (5.9 kg). It dines on a diet of fruit, nuts, and seeds. Like a squirrel, the agouti will bury surplus food to save for a later date. But sometimes this critter forgets to come back for its stash, spreading seeds throughout its habitat as a result. 

Photo: Robin Gwen Agarwal, CC BY-NC 4.0, iNaturalist 

Dating with purpose?

When you are young and pretty, there are things like "Seeking Arrangements" and more than a few other options online and off to get whatever it is you're after. But, what about when you're older, not so pretty, and no longer trying to pay for school? Are there rich folks out there, looking for old, chonky, and broke... but funny, curious, and not "dead" yet? Are there also dating? sites for that sort of connection? Seems to me everyone wants a pretty face or some sort of impressive resume but what about the folks still trying to find happy, without the good looks, or impressive "goals"? Are they stuck dealing with whatever they can find at the local bingo hall?

hahahaha Random curious thoughts.... heh.

Art is fun. You don't have to like my art. My art doesn't need to be considered great. I'm not hurting anyone with my art and it makes me feel good so to me.. it's just fine. I don't NEED to get better at it. I don't NEED to do it a certain way. I simply need to enjoy it, and in my mind.. not cause any damage to anyone else. It took me a long time to allow myself that freedom and now that I understand it, I refuse to go back to trying to fit someone else's box. Enjoy art... your own way.

The many faces of loss

I always get so grumbly with humans that think loss is a simple thing. A death, job change, relationship end, and many other forms of loss can have lasting, and often hidden (even to the one dealing with it) effects. So many people focus on the short term handling of the loss, or the lingering obvious issues and seem to think they know how the person should or shouldn't be acting. It's complete ridiculousness. NOBODY has ANY right to tell ANYONE how they should feel, or how the loss impacts them in their own realities. EVERY SINGLE CREATURE deals with each loss in their own ways. Some of the effects can be dealt with quickly and easily, some make permanent changes and will never be fully understood. NEVER.... EVER... let ANYONE tell you that you are somehow broken, or messed up, for how a loss impacts your own thoughts. Those who are trying to help will usually offer support, reassurance, patience, and space. If the person you think is there to help is pressuring you, making you feel like something is wrong with you, or is irritated by how things are effecting you... they are clearly NOT as helpful as they want to believe they are. If someone doesn't understand and is a bit inconvenienced because of your handling of a loss, that... is completely understandable... BUT... if they allow that to become an attitude towards you... THEY are the ones with a problem... NOT YOU! This human experience does not come with complete and foolproof instructions. We each have to figure things out in our own ways, no matter how many others try to tell us they have all the answers. So, if you're out there, and you're dealing with something, and you're feeling a bit beaten.... just remember.... you got this. There are those of us out there that understand it's complicated, it takes time, and USUALLY it's a lot more messy than anyone cares to admit. Just keep picking at it. You'll get where you need to be with it, if you really want to. Believe. ... Much love.

Circular saw kit for the Dremel  .........  hahaha  Okay.. so I decided to share it here too because well, I wrote about it so I figured I’d show ya what I was talking about.  Enjoy... and be nice... I’m learning.

For the record... olive wood smells really cool when cut.  My next cuts were MUCH better. heh  Practice helps.  haha