Please Stop Saying Things Like "There Are Two Types Of People..." Or "There Are Two Options..." "It's

forgive yourself for things you did when you didn’t know better, for things you think you could have controlled but realistically couldn’t, for things you can’t take back. let yourself heal without reopening the wounds to punish yourself every time you’re reminded of your regret.

To everybody needing it:

I’m really sorry to hear your day sucked

I’m not sure if tomorrow will be better for you, but it’ll be a reset

You’ll find the courage you need to do That Thing

You are perfectly okay. You’re doing just fine…more than just fine, even. There’s nothing wrong with you. 

Take care of yourself tonight. It’ll be okay.

I’m about to save you thousands of dollars in therapy by teaching you what I learned paying thousands of dollars for therapy:

It may sound woo woo but it’s an important skill capitalism and hyper individualism have robbed us of as human beings.

Learn to process your emotions. It will improve your mental health and quality of life. Emotions serve a biological purpose, they aren’t just things that happen for no reason.

1. Pause and notice you’re having a big feeling or reaching for a distraction to maybe avoid a feeling. Notice what triggered the feeling or need for a distraction without judgement. Just note that it’s there. Don’t label it as good or bad.

2. Find it in your body. Where do you feel it? Your chest? Your head? Your stomach? Does it feel like a weight everywhere? Does it feel like you’re vibrating? Does it feel like you’re numb all over?

3. Name the feeling. Look up an emotion chart if you need to. Find the feeling that resonates the most with what you’re feeling. Is it disappointment? Heartbreak? Anxiety? Anger? Humiliation?

4. Validate the feeling. Sometimes feelings misfire or are disproportionately big, but they’re still valid. You don’t have to justify what you’re feeling, it’s just valid. Tell yourself “yeah it makes sense that you feel that right now.” Or something as simple as “I hear you.” For example: If I get really big feelings of humiliation when I lose at a game of chess, the feeling may not be necessary, but it is valid and makes sense if I grew up with parents who berated me every time I did something wrong. So I could say “Yeah I understand why we are feeling that way given how we were treated growing up. That’s valid.”

5. Do something with your body that’s not a mental distraction from the feeling. Something where you can still think. Go on a walk. Do something with your hands like art or crochet or baking. Journal. Clean a room. Figure out what works best for you.

6. Repeat, it takes practice but is a skill you can learn :)

Focusing on what’s rooted in reality has reduced so much of my overthinking time. If a friend is already out of my life, there’s no point dissecting our interactions from back when we were friends. If I already broke up w someone, there’s no point thinking about the could-have-beens because they will never happen. If I’m into someone but it wouldn’t work for whatever reason, then it just doesn’t. Something just is or just isn’t. There’s a lesson to take from everything but I also don’t want to use that as a catch-all excuse of getting into the weeds for something when the weeds have already been cut off and it doesn’t even matter anymore

Jess Sharp

holding yourself accountable and tearing yourself down are two different things

A traditional + digital art combo featuring a cat creature 🌸🐱

I’ve really been enjoying mixing traditional with digital lately and this one will also be turned into an mini animation soon ☺️

I hope you’re having a great week 🫶

🩷 Digital illustration of a black woman with curly hair holding up a sheet. There is a star garland and there’s text across the sheet that reads, “the tools you needed to survive are not the tools you need to thrive”