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Dream Journal 7

Aenc tyr

And now I can hardly remember the rest of the dream, dammit all.  Bright sunlight steaming down through breaks in the trees.  And that damnable tree was there too, darkness pouring from it as usual.

There were giggles and high-pitches laughter.  Those two words repeated again and again.

It’s fading faster this time.  Perhaps this really was just a dream.  The other two women, the blue-skins, were there as well.  And a voice, begging... open the gate?

I can’t remember any more. Aenc tyr

I need to borrow a few of the books from the library, I think…

Dream Journal 5

This dream was full of pain. I pray even more that it was just a dream, because if this was real

 I wish I could find this girl and rescue her.  she was in so much pain, and so very scared.  She was younger, not the same grown woman from my last dream.  But the skin, the hair, the eyes     I swear she was a twin, if not the same woman.  But the setting was all wrong – it was dark, and dirty.  It smelled of sweat and blood.  Snarls and howls could be heard through the caverns. And this girl just sat, head resting on her chest, the final remnants of her sobbing slowly ending.  Her legs were out in front of her as she sat, heavy chains bolted to the floor and clasped around her ankles.  Her arms were held above her head, the blue skin marred with dark bruises and blood, her hands dangling limply from above the shackles around her wrists.

She coughed, weakly, before groaning, and I could feel the pain in her arms and legs.  And then she, too, seemed to be aware of my presence. She couldn’t look up – so injured she was – but I knew she was talking to me.

“Please…help me.”

I know I moved toward her, but I actually did reach her.  too many dreams I’ve had where I could not reach out and help, but this time I did get to her.  I knelt in front of her, my hand resting softly on her cheek.  “What happened,” I asked her, and she laughed bitterly.

“I’m hallucinating,” she said, slowly picking up her head to look at me.  “Even you don’t know what happened”

I know I shook my head – I don’t think I said anything else the rest of the dream.  I saw memories, rather than her explain what happened. Hulking men like wolves had surrounded her.  She was escaping.  They caught her and beat her.  They broke her limbs to keep her from escaping again.  She’d been here for days, hoping for rescue.

“Please…daddy…”  I was brought back from the memories to see her head resting again.  She was sleeping, though the look on her face showed she had no comfort here.  I kissed her forehead, and before I knew it I was pulling my head out of the water of my bed.  I came here frantically to write it all down – even now the memory of it is fading.

Who is this girl? What did she do to deserve such treatment?  And why could she see me as well as the other…

As her twin? I know not how, but I know they were two very different people…and yet something about them is familiar to me.

I’m Anafenza Ejinn, OC Muse.  Hailing from the Azim Steppe in Othard, and Ul’dah!

Hello all! 

This is a BRAND NEW masterlist blog for muses within the FFXIV fandom. Please reblog this post if you are a muse in the FFXIV fandom, and you shall be added to the MASTERLIST. OC’s and CANON MUSES both welcome! Multimuse blogs are also welcome to reblog this if you have a muse in the FFXIV fandom. Please dont reblog this if you are a character from another fandom with a FFXIV verse, or a fandomless OC with a FFXIV verse. Check the GUIDELINES for more info! 

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Another entry...

i still wish I hadn’t said anything to Lyta. Just let her bring the mangey maingey mangei dirty cat with her. And no, I didn’t know she was handling things in private because it was in private - every time we were in public it was like she just ignored what happened. i would have never known she was supporting me. Im thankful Anzu was there to back me up but also to keep us...more civil than anything else

i miss lyta. I need to ask her about thise these problems. the song. the scar. The dreams. Did that girl Jessika have them too? Hear the song too? And why, everytime I touch my sword (which has become even more awkward to control and use) the word “Bloodthorn” screams in my mind.

we think we found where the twins were being held. thank the twelve their they’re still alive...Master Zezewai is going to infiltrate another possible location alone, but I’m sure Lyta and Elrick are correct so I will be going with them, assuming Lyta doesn’t turn my words and intentions against me and force me to stay back with Myra. I just want to make sure they’re safe. I hope we can save them

Hello! If you’re an active Final Fantasy XIV blog — roleplaying, aesthetic, etc. — could you please reblog this post? It’ll serve as a reference point for people who are looking for new blogs to follow to see who is active from April 1st (not a fool’s joke, I assure you!) and onward!

Guilty or Innocent: Anafenza Ejinn

Asked someone to marry you?

“Well, no.  I haven’t really had anyone that close.  There was a time I thought maybe Kiratai would be the one I’d wind up with but...I’m not even sure that’s an option.  Or if I really want to, either, I guess?  I guess that matters, too.”

Kissed one of your friends?

“On the cheek?  Plenty.  Kissed like lovers?  No.  No one.”

Danced on a table in a bar / tavern?

“I think I did that one time in Ul’dah.  But it was during the end shift at the cafe and we were cleaning up.  Um...don’t tell Miss Sasari.”

Ever told a lie?

“Plenty.  I feel like I still have to lie.  Hells, I think I have to lie to myself just to justify waking up most mornings now.  ‘It’s important that I’m there.’  I dunno.”

Had feelings for someone you can’t have?

She sighs and nods.  “Twice.  She abandoned me when she left the Tower and I haven’t heard from her in a long time.  He...”  She shakes her head again.  “Let’s not talk about it.  It’s been awful enough.”

Ever kissed someone of the same sex?

“I’m still assuming this is as lovers so...no.  I have not.  I think I would have liked to, once, but...nah.”

Kissed a picture?

She shakes her head in confusion.  “Do people do that?  Why?  Next you’ll tell me people try swiving pictures, too.  Wait...they do?”

Slept until 5pm?

“Gods, yes.  When I’m sick mostly, but there were days in the other world when I had to stay awake for bloody days on end to play games with the Pixies...when I finally convinced them to see who could sleep the longest I’d sleep that late.  Funny, I still never beat them in those games, either...”

Worked at a fast food chain / restaurant?

“I suppose the Cafe would count for that, so yeah.  I can cook, I can bake, I can serve tables.  It was fun.  A lot of fun.  I enjoy working for Miss Sasari and learning from her.”

Stolen something?

“Probably?  If I did it was years ago; I haven’t stolen anything in recent memory.  Cookies in the kitchen don’t count.  Especially if you help bake them.”

Been fired from a job?

She stiffens and grumbles, then nods with a huff.  “Yeah.  It was horrible.  Miss Sasari just left a note for me an’ Kiratai, said we were no longer needed by the Caravan.  No reason why just...done.”  She shakes her head.  “Sasari came back and I asked her why she did it.  She never told me.  No one tells me anything.  But she was back and offered me my job back, so I took it.  It still hurt.  It wasn’t just losing a job...I lost my family.  And the timing of it too just...”  She shakes her head sadly.  “Next.”

Done something you regret?

She closes her eyes and nods, chuckling humorlessly.  “Yeah.  Actually telling people what I’m feeling.  Didn’t do me any good.  No one wants to hear it anyway.  So now I get to lie to them and myself.”  She puts on (an almost) genuine smile.

Laughed until something you were drinking came out of your nose?

“Oh gods, yes!  Too many times to count, but milk?  Uggh...that was never fun.  It always seems to be milk.”

Caught a snowflake on your tongue?

She pauses, tilting her head.  “I...have never tried that before.  Can you do that?  I should try that the next time I am in Ishgard!”

Sat on a rooftop?

“Uh, yes?  It’s not that hard to do, it’s a great vantage point, and in the afternoon it’s a great place for sunning after a swim.”

Kissed someone you shouldn’t have?

She shakes her head.  “I thought we already answered the kissing questions?”

Sang in the shower?

She laughs.  “I mean...no?  The few times I’ve taken a shower were in and out quickly.  Bathing, I mean...I’ve hummed a song now and then, I suppose?”

Been pushed into a body of water with all your clothes on?

"Uh...yeah.  That’s not that weird in my tribe.  We do that all the time when we’re kids.  It’s a large reason why I don’t really enjoy wearing clothes - they’re hard to swim in.”

Shaved your head?

She shakes her head.  “No way.  Why would I do that?"

Made a boyfriend / girlfriend cry?

"That would probably require a boyfriend or girlfriend first so...no.”

Shot a gun?

"I have not, but I do want to learn.  I’m not sure if Sasari or Mercer would still teach me, but I would like to learn.”

Still loved someone you shouldn’t?

She hangs her head.  “Probably easier to say that I don’t love them anymore.  Those bridges were taken out by the floods and even if they are rebuilt...no.  I don’t love any of them anymore.”  She sighs, before looking up.

Have / had a tattoo?

She smiles a little and shrugs.  “Thought about it, when Llaine went and adopted me into her family.  But she left before I could do it.”

Liked someone, but will never tell who?

“My problem was I did tell him.  Now?  I don’t think I’d tell a soul anymore.”

Been too honest?

"Yep.  And look at all the good it’s done for me.”

Ruined a surprise?

“I...don’t think so?  I’m usually good about keeping a secret.”

Been told that you’re beautiful by someone who totally meant what they said?

She bites her lip and sighs, looking away.  “No.  No, I haven’t.  I wouldn’t know what that’s like.”  She turns back and smiles.  “Oh well.”

Stalked someone?

She shakes her head.  “No.  Don’t know why I would.”

Thought about murder?

“Certainly.  Plenty of times.  I’ve even done it.  It’s why it confuses me so much and makes me so angry when I’m asking for restraint and everyone looks at me like I’m the naive one that needs to learn better.”

How about mass murder?

"Um...no.  Definitely not.”

Cheated on someone?

She shakes her head.  “No.  No one I could cheat on anyway.”

Gotten so angry that you cried?

“Plenty.  More than I ever cared to.  Not sure I’m done, either.”

Tried to stay away from someone for their own good?

She shakes her head.  “Not even for my own good.  I probably should have tried.  I didn’t know I needed to.  It was stupid.  I know better now.”

Thoughts about suicide?

She looks away silently, then shakes her head.  “I’d rather not...start telling the truth now.”

Had a girlfriend / boyfriend?

“No.  Would have liked to.  Don’t think I will.”

Gotten totally drunk during a holiday?

She finally laughs.  “Sure.  Plenty of reasons to celebrate in the Caravan, and then here for all the holidays Eorzeans celebrate...it’s fun.” Tagged by:  @mercermachines​ :)  Thanks for the tag! Tagging: @little-purple-thundercloud​; @steelcarbuncle​; @eightswordsparrow​; and of course anyone else (if anyone else even reads this blog, lol) :)

A typical evening at the Tower, swapping stories and worries at the bar in the lounge.

Featuring @khalacrumbles, @eightswordsparrow, @laznenharuya, @little-purple-thundercloud, @mercermachines, @steelcarbuncle, @ablebuns, and @stormscream.

Streaks of ink and tears...

they were there and I walked in and I panicked and I just walked away to go read in peace

is it not enough that they banish me from their friendship.  but then they insist on taking my refuge from me as well?

i will give my gift this starlight and then i will not burden any of them any longer.  no one wants me here anyway

Additional thoughts while playing Shadowbringers

Ana secretly wants to stay in Il Mheg and live with the fae folk...

I will do my best...I can promise that?

Reblog this if you promise to your RP Partners that they can safely tell you they want to drop a thread without you being rude or manipulative about it