stop i'm literally in love with alex 😻 to be in a relationship with her 🤭 charles is so freaking lucky
IKR???
i i’m actually so embarrassingly in love with her like???
move over charles, that’s my gf now. My gf, my dog now Leclerc.
The way I would fight him for her is crazy.
Alexandra is so 😮💨😮💨🤤
The best way to describe it is that i want to go on a picnic with her wearing cute sundresses white sitting on a plaid blanket with a basket filled with wildflowers and we eat cheesecake together while we look at all the plants in a flower filled meadow. ❤️
~Do I Wanna Know? by Arctic Monkeys~
Author's Note: welp this was a helluva lot longer and smuttier than I wanted but oopsie. Also first time publishing smut so like take it with a grain of salt. As always italics are flashbacks. lowkey may reupload without smut Summary: ig childhood enemies to lovers? Warnings: smut! smut! 18+ please do not read if uncomfortable, swearing Word Count: 10,241 Jack Hughes x fm!reader
It was her favorite and least favorite part of the summer. It was the three weeks during the summer where her parents allowed her to have the lake house to herself. She would invite her closest friends and their boyfriends to spend each day drunk and tanning or getting a sunburn. It was supposed to be the best summer of her life.
Until the Hughes boys next door started doing the same thing, during the same three weeks. She didn’t mind at first, being a single girl, it was always nice to have some gorgeous men to admire. But her friendship, or lack of one, with Jack Hughes was always difficult to enjoy those three weeks.
Her hatred towards Jack started when they were younger. It was the second summer that her family owned the lake house. She was twelve, and Jack was thirteen. It was innocent at the time, at least Jack thought so. He would always throw her into the lake, tease her on every single aspect of her life.
They were sitting on the dock, swinging their legs over the edge. Y/N and her best friend, Chloe, were watching the sunset in their swimsuits. They have yet to meet the boys next door, all of them around their age. Twelve. The middle boy, seemingly the most outgoing compared to the others, began walking towards the entrance to the dock.
“I’m Jack, those are my brothers Quinn and Lukey,” Jack points out both of the boys shyly walking behind them.
“It’s just Luke,” the younger one peeped out. Chloe smiled towards the younger one as she slowly stood up from her seated position. Y/N tilted her head back suspiciously. Why now? Why were they suddenly interested in the two girls?
“Chloe, this is Y/N and that’s her parents' lake house,” Chloe explained as she pointed to the incredibly big lake house. Y/N reluctantly stood up from her seated position as she awkwardly walked beside Chloe.
“Want to go swimming with us?” Jack asked, standing point between his two brothers. Chloe smiled widely, nodding her head as she walked towards the boy.
“We should probably go ask my parents if we can, it’s getting late,” Y/N said while awkwardly crossing her arms over her body. Jack’s eyes widen, a smirk forming on his lips. Y/N dropped her gaze towards her painted toes.
“You need to ask your parents? What are you like four years old? Come on, let’s go,” Jack teased as he began walking towards her and Chloe. Y/N lifted her gaze, furrowing her eyebrows harshly as she scanned his features. He had a wide smile on his lips as if he was up to something.
“No, I just-they like to know where we are,” she offered, swallowing hard. He rolled his eyes as he took a hold of her waist, “What the hell?!” she shouted as he lifted her up in the air and began running off the dock. Luke, Quinn, and Chloe quickly followed them. Jack and Y/N landed hard into the lake, it was cold.
Jack let go as they hit the water, he slowly resurfaced shaking his head. He laughed hard as Y/N resurfaced a few seconds later, a frown on her lips.
“I don’t know you! Why did you do that?!” she shouted towards him, shoving him away from her.
“Because it was funny,” he mumbled, a smirk on his lips as he shifted his gaze towards Quinn. He was not as amused as Jack was. Luke on the other hand was laughing up a storm as he thought it was funny as well.
“Does it look like I’m laughing?!” she groaned as she stared towards him.
“I thought it was funny,” he let out, still grinning. Chloe shyly started to laugh too as she stared towards Y/N angry expression. It was at that moment Chloe knew, a friend group was formed.
She pulled into her parking spot at the house with four of her friends squished into her small car. Chloe was in the passenger seat beside her. Her boyfriend, Jacob, was in the back beside Ollie and Melanie. She pulled her keys from her car and lifted her gaze towards the Hughes house to see a large group of guys sitting on the front steps sipping White Claws.
Her eyes landed on the boy she to this day despised. Every summer she would have to spend every day with him, every second of it she would hold a scowl to her features. She hated him, she hated that he was cocky and confident. She hated that his ego had been boosted by being drafted first overall. She hated that TikTok made him into the white boy of the year. She hated the smirk on his lips, she wanted to smack it right off.
Stepping out of the car, the boys across the house instantly hollered. One boy's voice stood out particularly as he said, “Bout damn time you showed up Sunshine!” Jack called out.
She was sixteen now, four years deep into her hatred towards Jack Hughes. It’s been four years of constant petty arguments, the teasing, the constant feeling of wanting to punch him. She was laying on the dock, a towel beneath her frame as she laid out, feeling the heat from the sun burn her skin.
Chloe was still asleep, as she could sleep forever if she had the chance. It was ten in the morning, the sun was already working hard. She wasn’t looking to tan, but she loved the feeling of the sun on her skin. It was too early for her parents to get out on the boat, so this was the second best option.
She heard footsteps walking towards her, a sigh fell from her lips as she slowly sat up, looking towards who was walking towards her.
Jack was shirtless, approaching her. She rolled her eyes as she laid back down, shutting her eyes. Jack smiled as he sat beside her, crossing his legs as he stared towards the lake, admiring the sun cascading over the water.
“Hey Sunshine,” Jack let out, knowing the nickname would piss her off. He loved making her mad. Ever since that day he tossed her into the lake for the first time, it’s been his goal to make her angry. A groan fell from her lips as she covered the sun from her eyes with her hand.
“Go away,” she mumbled as she moved her hand back to her side. He smiled as he rested his elbows onto his knees. He looked back towards the lake.
“No ones awake yet, who else am I supposed to talk to?” he asked, shifting in his spot slightly.
“That’s not my problem, go away,” she let out as she took a deep breath, her chest rising and falling. Jack glanced towards her chest, clearing his throat slightly as he dropped his gaze towards his lap.
“But we have such great conversations, Sunshine,” he teased as he bit his bottom lip.
“Stop calling me that,” she said as she sat up on her elbows, meeting his gaze as she squinted from the sun. He smirked as he looked into her eyes. His eyes casually lowered, scanning her frame. Looking at the small beads of sweat on her skin.
“Do you want to go with me to go get breakfast for everyone, Sunshine?” he asked. She huffed, forced out a laugh.
“What makes you think I want to spend any time alone with you?” she questioned. He tilted his head to the side while running his fingers through his hair.
“Oh, I know you do, Sunshine, you haven’t left my side since I sat down,” he teased. She rolled her eyes as she clenched her jaw.
“You are literally the most annoying person on the planet,” she forced out as she stood up from her position, her body completely standing above him, perfectly in his line of sight. He was shamelessly admiring each curve, each gorgeous part of her. “Don’t look at me like that,” she let out as she started walking away, covering her body with the towel.
“You seriously cannot still be mad at me for shoving you into the lake that day,” he expressed as he jogged towards her, she was surprisingly fast.
Stopping dead in her tracks she spun around, facing him. He stumbled back as he wasn’t prepared for her to stop. Her face was scrunched together as she took in a sharp breath. His eyes were staring hard at her glossed lips, craving the taste of her lips.
“Do you really think that’s why I don’t like you? Some stupid childhood argument?”
“I mean yeah, that whole year I just kept doing it,” he said, nearly proud of his behavior. He swallowed hard as he felt his heart beat fast.
“I don’t like you because you’re cocky and rude and think you’re a god just because you’re good at hockey. You think you can do whatever you want because girls think you’re hot!” she shouted towards him, the towel becoming loose on her frame. She pulled it off, scrunching it into a ball in her hands before she slowly started walking backwards away from him.
“Are you one of those girls?” he asked, ignoring everything else that she said. She scoffed while shaking her head. She spun around, meeting his gaze. Her jaw clenched tightly.
“I couldn’t be less attracted to you,” she said as she scanned his features, “I don’t think losers are hot,” she expressed harshly before she walked back down the dock towards her lake house. The towel was still in her hand, giving Jack a full view of her frame. The way her hips swayed back and forth as she walked away from him. He dropped his head, taking in a deep breath.
“Wow,” he mumbled, taking in a deep breath.
She met his gaze, dramatically rolling her eyes as she continued towards the garage. Her four other friends pulled up in two other cars, nearly immediately after it began to open. The two other cars were full to the brim of luggage.
He smiled proudly to himself as he continued watching her. Cole beside him started laughing as he stood up from his seat. “Y/N, do you guys need help bringing the luggage inside?” he shouted. Y/N’s lips curled up into a grin.
“That would be great, Cole!” she shouted back, warmly. Cole chuckled as himself and the rest of the boys jogged the short distance towards the other lake house. Jack stood up and walked towards the two cars, greeting Reagan and Harry as they climbed out of the car.
“Thought you guys couldn’t make it!” Jack said excitedly as he hugged Harry before he hugged Reagan.
“We’re only here for the first week, but it’ll be fun!” Reagan said as she pulled away from Jack. “How’s your shoulder?” she asked as she glanced towards the small scar on his shoulder.
“It’s good, I just have to keep up with my physical therapy while I’m here,” he said softly. Y/N watched from a distance, his tone was soft and kind. Something she’s observed over the last two years. Ever since his little brother joined the league, something about Jack’s attitude has changed.
She swallowed hard as she walked towards the small group. She smiled towards her friends, glanced towards Jack. She quickly hugged Reagan and Harry before she opened the backseat, pulling a suitcase out. “What no hug for me, Sunshine?” he teased as he waited for his turn to take a bag. She placed the suitcase on the ground, pulling the handle up.
“When have I ever hugged you Mr. People pay to see me play?” she said, teasing him right back. His mouth fell open, shocked as he began to chuckle.
“You’re never going to let me live that down, are you?” he let out as he took a hold of a bright blue suitcase. She shook her head as she followed the rest of the friend group inside of her lake house.
Usually on her first day at the house, all of her friends and herself would clean the hell out of the house. Since it has been left untouched for multiple months. She sighed as she excitedly stood in the center of the living room, already anticipating the potential events that may occur.
She sat beside Chole as the NHL draft was beginning. It was obvious in the whole hockey world that Jack was getting drafted first overall. Despite that knowledge, he was still terrified he would fall to a lower draft ranking. But as the New Jersey Devils began to name their selection, there was no doubt in anyone's mind that it was Jack.
As his name was called, his smile was wide. It was a genuine smile, that was never pointed towards Y/N. Her own lips curled upward as she watched him hug his brothers. His younger brother first, and then his older brother. He began walking down the aisle towards the stage.
Sure, she hated him but she’s spent every summer with him for the last six years. It was a great moment to see. She pulled her phone from her pocket, pulling up his contact.
Y/N: Congrats, hotshot, don’t let it go to your head ;)
It took several hours before Jack was able to reply. Being drafted first overall came with a lot of media. He laughed out loud as he saw the text message.
Jack: Don’t worry Sunshine, it already has
It took a few minutes before she replied.
Y/N: You’re going to be even more unbearable this summer aren’t you?
Jack: Are you kidding? I’m a delight
Y/N: Goodbyeee Jack
Jack: So you agree?
She watched as Luke placed her bright pink suitcase down onto the ground, it was one of two suitcases that she brought with her for the vacation. “Thanks Lukey,” she mumbled as she took a hold of it and began walking towards her bedroom. She rested it onto her bed, a small smile on her lips. She began unzipping it.
Herself and this specific group of friends already have a routine that they have. Everyone instantly unpacks and begins cleaning so they can start drinking by five. It’s worked for the last two years. She began pulling her swimsuits out first as she began to find the pairs first before she shoved them into the dresser.
Spinning around, she finds Jack leaning against the door. “Oh my god,” she let out fast. She planted a hand against her chest. He dropped his head while laughing.
“I’m sorry,” he let out as he took a step inside of the bedroom. Glancing down towards his feet for a brief second before he awkwardly pulled up his swim trunks. “Is Parker joining you guys later tonight?” Jack asked, swallowing hard.
It was weird for her group to arrive first for the three week vacation. But it was the summer after Jack’s rookie year. So the boys were all traveling from everywhere. They were arriving later in the night. But it was nice for Y/N to enjoy several hours with Parker. Her boyfriend for the last six months. He was great, kind, too nice for his own good.
Her friend group was all laying in the living room, tipsy already from day drinking. Reagan and Harry were asleep on top of each other on the couch. Chloe and Jacob were whispering to one another as they were switching from their heads resting on each other’s shoulders. Ollie and Melanie were gone, probably off in their bedroom together. Brandon and Sasha were in the kitchen making more drinks for themselves. Y/N was sitting in Parker’s lap as she was applying aloe to his bright red cheeks.
“I told you to sunscreen, Baby,” she whispered as she slowly ran her fingertips along his cheeks, he winced as the gel was cold on his skin.
“I thought I could handle it,” he whispered jokingly. She rolled her eyes playfully as she heard the front door being pulled open. She didn’t intentionally forget to tell Parker about the pack of boys that would be joining them in the summer. It was so normal for the six of the guys to be next door that she forgot it may not be for Parker. He furrowed his eyebrows, taking a grip of her thighs protectively as he watched all six of the guys enter the house.
“Sunshine! Why are you guys not on the boat drunk already! You know that’s how this works!” Jack shouted. He stopped short seeing Y/N sitting in Parker’s lap. His eyes widened slightly as he scanned the sleepy couples around them all. “You guys pregame too hard?” he further pressed.
“Who’s this guy?” Parker asked, delicately shoving Y/N off of his lap. She plopped down beside him, resting her hand onto his thigh.
“Jack, Quinn, Luke, Trevor, Cole, and Dylan,” she said quietly as she pointed to each boy. Jack smirked as he met Parker’s gaze. “Boys, this is Parker, my boyfriend,” she said as she slowly stood up, suddenly self conscious of the bikini covering her frame. Parker stood up and rested a protective hand on her hip.
Quinn shoves past Jack, becoming front and center, “Nice to meet you, man. The house next door is ours, and those three are our friends,” Quinn explained, at first pointing to himself and his brothers before he pointed to their friends. Parker nodded slightly, looking back towards Jack before he shook Quinn’s hand.
“So you all will be here for the whole time we’re here?” Parker asked. Quinn nodded. “Great,” Parker expressed sarcastically as he forced a smile onto his lips. “Let’s get to drinking again, shall we Babe?” he asked as he forced his gaze towards Y/N. She forced a smile on her lips as she nodded towards him.
~~~
She was laying on the beanbag in the basement of the Hughes lake house. Parker was playing pool with a few of the other boys. Y/N was drunk as she was scrolling through her Instagram feed for the fifteenth time that night as she kept seeing the same pictures over and over again.
Jack was not in the current game as he sat down beside Y/N. She groaned as she dropped her phone beside her head, “What, Hotshot?” she questioned as she shifted her drunken gaze towards him. He smirked as he took a deep breath.
“I’m a washed up draft pick remember?” he said as he brought the beer bottle towards his lips. “Not a hotshot anymore,” he mumbled. She gasped drunkenly as she smacked her hand against his thigh. It was barely a tap but his attention fully switched over to Y/N.
“Don’t say that,” she scolded as she sat up. Her eyes widened as she blinked slowly, trying to regain her balance. Despite her not even moving in the process.
“It’s a transition into the b-best league in the world, Jack, you’re a kid playin’ against like-what- thirty year olds? You’re still a hotshot, Hotshot. You’ll f-find your way back,” she explained. Jack smiled as he met her gaze. His lips fell into a pout as he admired her eyes.
“I think that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me, Y/N,” he mumbled, a genuine soft smile formed on his lips as he scooted towards her subconsciously.
“What, no Sunshine?” she asked, as she scanned his features. Was he always this pretty? She found herself thinking.
“You miss it?” he teased. She laughed while she leaned back into the beanbag.
“A little,” she mumbled. He laughed as he shook his head. Parker watched the interaction from afar, Jack met Parker’s gaze. He cleared his throat as he shifted his gaze back down towards his lap.
Parker leaned down and hit the 8-ball into the pocket he needed to, ending the game. The boys cheer. “Y/N’s falling asleep over there, I’m gonna take her to bed,” he mumbled, politely smiling towards the small group of guys. He walked towards Jack and Y/N.
Without looking towards Jack, he reached down, taking a hold of Y/N’s waist, “Come on, beautiful, let’s get you to bed,” he whispered. She hummed as she rested her head onto his shoulder as she wrapped her legs around his waist. Parker took a hold of her thighs as he carried her up the stairs out of the Hughes’s basement.
Jack watched as the pair left the basement, he leaned his head against the beanbag as he began peeling at the wet label of the beer in his hand. His heart fluttered as the words Y/N said circled his mind. He’s heard those words a thousand times but something about it coming from her felt different. She hated him and he knew that but she still felt that he could be a success. He sighed as the boys shouted towards him to join in on the next round.
“We broke up a few months ago,” she let out sadly as she opened the drawer as she tossed her bikinis inside. His eyes widened.
“Oh man, I’m sorry, Sunshine. You guys were good together,” he mumbled as he crossed his arms over his chest.
“It’s weird not having him here. It was the new normal, you know?” she explained, her voice cracking in the process. He nodded, crossing his arms over his chest. If he was being honest, he wished he hated the guy but he was impossible to hate. He was genuinely the nicest guy he’s ever met. He was convinced they were going to end up married. “Our lives just went separate ways, that’s all.” She said not-so-convincingly
“Yeah, I’m sorry,” he let out while he smiled sadly.
“Yeah me too, I have to hang out with you six for the whole three weeks. I’m not third wheeling any of them,” she lightened the subject. He barked out a laugh.
“It is not that bad, Y/N,” he mumbled as Trevor stepped into the bedroom.
“Harry said you and Parks broke up?” Trevor asked, shocked to say the least. She simply nodded. “Damn, I’m sorry, Y/N. He was awesome,” Trevor mumbled before he walked out of the room.
She scoffed, a laugh leaving her throat. Jack furrowed his eyebrows as he stepped towards her, kicking the door shut with his foot, “What really happened with you two?” Jack asked in a hushed tone.
She laughed dryly as she wiped a sudden tear on her cheek, “Like I would tell you, Jack,” she muttered as she shook her head.
He clenched his jaw as he rolled his eyes. “Come on, Y/N, didn’t we bury this years ago?”
“I have been nothing but nice to you all summer and you still treat me like I’m an asshole!” Jack shouted as he tossed his hands to the side, “I’ve apologized for every dumbass thing I’ve done over the years, but you still treat me like dirt, Sunshine!”
“See that! That right there is why I am still pissed at you and I still don’t like you! You act like years of teasing and making fun of me will just go away because you apologized!” She took a small step towards him. He took in a shaky breath as he scanned her fuming features. “An-And stop calling me Sunshine! I know it’s because you think I’m a buzzkill! It’s not funny, it’s not cute! I’m over it!”
“What do you want me to do?! If endless apologizes won’t help you like me then what would you like me to do then?! I can get on my knees-” he spoke, getting on his knees, “I’ll beg! I’ll do whatever you want, Sun-Y/N,”
“Get up! Why do you want me to like you so much? We’ve spent nine years hating each other. Why do we need to start being friends?” she let out, staring down towards him. His eyes were soft yet, the smirk on his lips was full of anger. He stood up, meeting her gaze, they were standing near inches away from one another.
“I never hated you, Y/N. That was all you. I like making you mad. You’re really hot when you yell at me. What can I say?” he mumbled, a dry laugh leaving his lips. He took a step back. His eyes widened slightly as he finally processed the words that left his lips. He took a shaky breath as he looked deeply into her eyes. “I think-” he took a deep breath, “I think you like it when I piss you off, Sunshine, you get all hot and bothered with it too,”
She felt like her heart was beating so hard it would break out of her chest. “I don’t-get hot and bothered with it. I get angry. You are the most infuriating person I have ever met!” she expressed, her gaze slowly dipping down to his lips. He was right, he did make her entire body hot and needy for his touch.
“You are the most exhausting person I have ever met,” he let out, his gaze on her lips too.
“You better start liking me before you cheat on your boyfriend with me. I really like the guy. I don’t want to do that to him,” he rested his hand onto her hip, gripping it somewhat tightly. “You can’t pretend you don’t like the way I make you feel,” he whispered into her ear before he began walking away.
“I don’t! I would never cheat on Parker. Let alone cheat on him with you!” she shouted out. She was grateful that everyone had gone grocery shopping, leaving the pair alone. Jack and Y/N were the only ones still asleep when everyone else left.
“Then you better start liking me because the longer you hate me the more you want me,” he let out, winking before he walked out of her living room. She scoffed as she stared towards the door that he walked out of.
He was right. Damnit, he was right.
“Barely, that was like our worst argument ever,” she expressed, a chuckle leaving her lips. She sat on the end of her bed, leaning slightly into her suitcase. Jack followed in pursuit, sitting beside her. Their knees were touching.
“You stopped hating me, so it worked,” he whispered. She turned her head, met his gaze, smiling softly.
“I still don’t like you,” she countered, raising her eyebrows. He rolled his eyes playfully.
“What happened with Parks?” he switched the subject, his tone genuine as he pressed his lips together. She continued looking into his eyes, he was being kind.
Sure, she hasn’t fully hated him in years. But she still didn’t want to be comforted by him, he was the last person who she would go to about things. She took a deep breath as she brushed a few pieces of hair away from her face.
“I found out he had another girlfriend,” she mumbled. Jack’s eyes widened as his mouth fell open. “His work trips were really trips to go visit her,”
“That fucking dick,” Jack let out while shaking his head.
“I’m just glad I never followed through moving in with him,” she let out as she turned her gaze towards her hands. Her freshly manicured hands for the vacation. They were red.
“Here I was thinking you two would end up engaged soon. Idiot,” he said while he took a deep breath. She rolled her eyes as she laughed. “I’m serious, I swore you two were end game,” he expressed. She stood up, a small smirk on her lips as she pulled the door open. She leaned her head against the door as she stared towards Jack.
“Can you leave my room so I can unpack and clean, please?” He stared towards her suspiciously before he began walking out of the door. Stopping short, only a few inches away from her face. “I’ll see you later, Hotshot,” she mumbled. He rolled his eyes playfully before he walked out of the room, leaving her alone.
~~~
It had been several hours since the house was cleaned, it was well into the night. Everyone was sitting together around the fire pit. Quinn was in charge of the fire. Y/N sat alone, on the blanket she had set up for herself. She sat with her legs crossed as she sipped on the seltzer Quinn had bought the group.
It was definitely the most lonely she has felt in months. Watching each of her closest friends sit together close and coupley. She missed that feeling, but the memories were tampered with the knowledge that it was all a lie. She pouted as she stared towards the orange glow.
“Sunshine, you gonna share or am I gonna have to get my ass wet on the grass?” Jack asked as he returned with a beer bottle in his hand as Cole was walking towards his usual seat. She rolled her eyes as she scooted away from the center of the blanket to allow him to sit down beside her. He grunted as he scooted closer to her, their shoulders bumping into one another.
He leaned his head towards her, his lips nearly touching her ear, “You feeling better?” his voice sent shivers down her spine. She tilted her head, meeting his gaze. Their lips are only a few inches apart. She simply nodded. He hummed as he pulled his head back.
“What’s so secretive?” Trevor teased as he leaned his elbows onto his thighs. His voice grasped the attention of everyone surrounding the firepit. Jack glanced towards Y/N before he shifted his gaze towards Trevor.
She took a deep breath as she forced a smile onto her face. Tilting her head to the side, “You know how you guys think Parker is this amazing guy?” she began, she was drunk; probably the most drunk she’s been at the lake house in years. The boys all collectively shared awkward glances. “He had another girlfriend! He was fully dating someone else the entire relationship, but he had a problem with Jack and I!” she barked out a laugh.
Jack shifted his gaze towards Y/N, his face full of confusion. She rolled her eyes as she took a shaky breath. “He thought that I was cheating on him with Jack!”
“Like we would have sex,” she said while pointing between herself and Jack. Her laughter soon stopped with the memory of their last argument floating through her mind. “But nope, he was so self-conscious because he was the one cheating. So Trevor, that’s what’s so secretive,”
“He thought we were having sex?” Jack asked quietly. She turned her head to meet Jack’s gaze. She simply nodded. “Wow,” he mumbled as he dropped his head, staring towards his beer.
Chloe stood up from her seat as she handed her drink towards her boyfriend. “Y/N, let’s get you to bed,” she mumbled.
“Why? Because I told everyone the truth? I’m sorry if that disappoints you all. I know you all think he was so awesome,” she let out while her eyes were filled with tears.
“Y/N, come on,” Chloe mumbled, gripping Y/N’s arm and lifting her up from the ground. She didn’t protest as she followed Chloe towards the house.
Everyone stayed silent for a moment, processing that someone they thought was their friend could be lying for so many years. Jack kept replaying the part where she had said that Parker thought they were having sex. Was it that obvious that he liked her? Maybe I had feelings for her?
“Why would Parker think you two were having sex?” Ollie asked. Jack lifted his head, pouted his lips as he shook his head slightly. Cole chuckled as he rolled his eyes.
“Jack has had the hots for Y/N since he was twelve,” Cole let out, he was drunk as well. His filter was long gone. Jack’s eyes widened as he shifted his gaze towards Cole.
“Thanks for that,” he said through gritted teeth.
“You’re welcome,” Cole said, completely missing the sarcasm.
Jack rolled his eyes as he took in a sharp breath. “I never acted on anything. I mean she’s spent most of the time I’ve known her hating me,” he explained while shrugging his shoulders.
“Yeah and you liked pissing her off because it turned you on,” Cole continued, clearly needing to go to bed himself.
“Alright! Cole, maybe you should head to bed too!” Jack silenced him as he swallowed hard, shyly looking towards the crowd of couples to his left.
Cole nodded, standing up. He stumbled slightly as Trevor took a hold of his shoulders, guiding him towards the Hughes house. Jack clenched his jaw as he stared towards the bottle for a second before he brought it towards his lips, chugging the rest of his beer.
“I’m never telling him anything ever again,” he mumbled as he dropped the beer bottle to his side. He met Harry’s gaze, suddenly feeling the need to defend himself.
“I don’t know why, I just liked making her mad. We got into it-argued- a few years ago and that was the last time we really went at each other’s throats. We’ve been friends since?” he explained. “I mean I wouldn’t help someone cheat on their boyfriend. Even if I knew Parker was a dick,”
Harry furrowed his eyebrows as he crossed his arms over his chest. “Alright, I wasn’t going to say anything but Reagan and I heard that argument. We thought this whole time you two were secretly having sex,” Harry explained. Jack’s eyes widened.
“You what?!” Jack let out loudly. Everyone else besides Harry and Reagan began dispersing away from the firepit, all of them heading towards the Hughes house. Despite half of them that sleep at Y/N’s. “Did you tell Parker that?!” Jack asked.
Harry clenched his jaw as he nodded his head. Jack scoffed while rolling his eyes. “I mean you told her to stop hating you before you two have sex!” he let out a chuckle, “I mean, we thought she still hated you-”
“So you made an assumption and probably ruined their entire relationship. That’s fucking awesome of you, Harry,” Jack stood up, getting ready to walk towards his house.
“You fucking ruined it man, you clearly have feelings for her!”
“I think she’s attractive, that’s fucking different! Why would I have feelings for someone that hated me!?” he stood up shouting again.
“Cole said you’ve had feelings for her since you were twelve!” Harry shouted back.
“First off, Cole’s drunk barely knows what he’s saying. Second off he said I had the hots for her. Two very fucking different things!” Jack defended. He took a deep breath, meeting Harry’s gaze. “And if I did have feelings for her, I would treat her a hell of a lot better than how Parker treated her. Even if she hated me first,” he said simply before he started walking away towards his house.
After a few seconds he stopped short, spinning around to meet Harry’s gaze. His anger and frustration quickly dissipated. He took a deep breath. “Y/N didn’t cheat on Parker with me. I only said that to rile her up. I never brought it up again.” he met Harry’s gaze. “You only did what you thought you had to do and I get that, I just-I don’t have feelings for her. I’m sorry for getting pissed at you. I’m drunk and I get snappy when I’m tired.”
Reagan tapped Harry’s arm encouragingly. “I’m-I’m sorry too. I just Y/N’s practically my sister and Parks and I got close over the years. I didn’t like seeing anyone get hurt, I should’ve asked you two about it before I went and told Parks,” he explained. Jack simply nodded before he left to walk towards his house.
Reagan took a deep breath, “How do you boys just scream at one another and then apologize and get over a minute later? How is that even possible?”
Harry laughed while shaking his head, “I don’t know, it just happens,” he mumbled.
~~~
Jack jolted awake, his breathing heavy as he shook his head. His dream from last night flashed in his mind for a moment. A scene of Y/N sprawled out on his mattress, completely naked awaiting for him to lean down and kiss her lips. That damn pout was on her lips as she looked towards him desperately. He shut his eyes, feeling his boxers tighten as the dream continued to replay in his mind.
“Fuck,” he mumbled as he stood up, forcing himself to try and occupy his mind with something else. Except he turned around to see his mattress. The vision of Y/N on his mattresses plastered in front of him, she was stunning and desperate in his dream, he wanted to see it in real time. He wanted to be with her. He clenched his jaw as he walked towards his bathroom. Needing to shower away his thoughts.
He stood underneath the hot water, staring down towards his erection, mad that his thoughts were sending him there. It’s been years since he thought that way about her, he thought he was finally over it. But she was single again. Maybe even a little desperate. Or he was the desperate one.
Maybe he needed to have sex with her once, maybe it’ll be a one time thing. One and done, get her out of his system. He sighed as he finished his shower, still half-hard as he pulled on his swim trunks.
He jogged down the steps to the voices of everyone else in the house awake. The air was tense as Jack entered the living room. The rest of the boys were awake, sitting and chatting. They all shifted their gaze towards Jack. “Harry and I already apologized and are over it, alright?” Jack rasped out as he stumbled towards the coffee maker.
“I’m sorry for my drunk ass,” Cole rasped out, his eyes barely open. He was very hungover. “I gotta learn to shut the fuck up,”
“Yeah you do, but it’s fine. I just hope Y/N’s alright,” he mumbled as he waited for the Kurig to pour him his cup. He spun around, rubbing his hand across his face. The boys shared knowing glances again. “What?” Jack asked, his voice cracking slightly.
“So Caufield’s right? You have feelings for her?” Luke asked, crossing his arms over his chest. Jack took a deep breath.
“I think she’s hot, I don’t have feelings for her,” he clarified as he pulled the mug from the coffee maker, taking a small sip. His hangover, disappearing nearly instantly. Jack rolled his shoulder back, groaning slightly.
~
It was a handful of hours later and any tension between the group dissipated within a few minutes. They were all laughing and smiling together again on the boat. Y/N’s family has a slightly bigger boat that fits everyone. The Hughes’s boat is much smaller. Y/N was sitting beside Chloe as she was talking about something that was going on with her new school district that she was working for.
Jack was sitting beside Quinn, subtly looking towards Y/N every chance he could. “Are you sure?” Quinn asked Jack. At first, Jack didn’t hear him as he continued glancing towards Y/N. “Jack, are you sure?” he let out again.
Jack shifted his gaze towards Quinn, “Sure about what?” he asked as he reluctantly glanced back towards Y/N.
“If you look towards Y/N one more time I think you might burn a hole into her forehead,” he teased. Jack smacked his arm as he dropped his gaze towards his lap.
“Shut up,” Jack mumbled as he stared towards his hands. Quinn had stopped the boat at the center of the lake, spinning around to face everyone.
“Who wants to go swimming?” he asked. The boys nearly instantly jumped into the lake without hesitation. Quinn slowly pulled his t-shirt from his frame, dropping it to his side before he jumped into the water, landing near Dylan. Jack stood at the opposite end of the boat, watching Y/N and the other girls slowly get ready to climb into the water. Reagan and Chloe were the first to jump into the water.
“Jack don’t you fucking think about it-” she expressed, pointing a finger towards him but it was too late he was already making a beeline towards her. “Jack!” she shouted as he took a hold of her legs, tossing over his shoulder before he jumped into the lake, tossing her in with him.
He soon resurfaced, shaking his head of the water. She slowly resurfaced after him, pouting her lips as she splashed him. “I was going to jump in, asshole!” she said, teasingly. He smirked as he began to splash her back.
“Are you cheating on me?” Parker asked out of nowhere. Y/N was mid bite of her sandwich when he asked. She stared towards him blankly as she chewed quickly. Swallowing hard, she rested her sandwich down onto the plate while she stood up.
“No, why would you think that?” she asked while shaking her head. Her heart was pounding hard against her chest. Almost as if she was guilty. But she wasn’t. The only thing she was guilty of was sex dreams with other people. Mainly just Jack.
She hasn’t seen him in six months and on and off she would have a very hot and heavy dream where they would be having sex. Anywhere and everywhere they could between their lake houses.
“Are you and Jack having sex? I can’t stop this nagging idea that every time we go to the lakehouse you are sleeping with him!” he shouted. His voice was much louder than it was before. She scoffed, her lips curling up in a smile. Her fantasies were the furthest she would consider going with Jack Hughes.
“That’s fucking crazy! I don’t like him! Why would I ever consider having sex with him?” she let out, still laughing.
“Why are you laughing?!” he asked.
“Because it is ridiculous to me that you would believe that Jack, who lives in New Jersey, and I are having sex!”
~Three Days Later~
The group was starting to disperse back to their respective rooms. It was well past two in the morning, everyone was drunk and stumbling. Except Jack and Y/N. They were tipsy, but more sober than their friends. Y/N walked a handful of her friends back towards her house, watching each of them enter their rooms. She stood still in the living room letting her tipsy mind wander.
Which led to her feet wandering.
She stepped outside, the chill of the night air hit her skin creating goosebumps all over her skin.
She walked towards the backdoor of the Hughes house as she met Jack’s gaze through the glass door.
He bit his bottom lip as he pulled the door open.
“It’s late, Sunshine,” he mumbled as he pulled his lips between his teeth, running his tongue along his lips. She scanned his features, his eyes darkened as he scanned her frame. It was only covered by a thin black bikini. She stepped towards him, gently resting her hand onto his bare chest. He took small steps backwards.
“I know,” she mumbled, her gaze only on his lips. They would drift towards his eyes, every few seconds. But she was so focused on his lips.
“Nothing good happens after two AM, that’s that stupid rule you follow from that show you like,” he could hear his heartbeat. He knew what she wanted, he knew what he wanted. But what if the others find out?
“It’s from How I Met Your Mother and it’s not stupid,” she muttered as her hands started trailing his body, feeling his skin rise in goosebumps under her touch. Her eyes drifted down towards his body, his tanned frame was hard to not admire. Her fingertips grazed the small bump of a scar line from his surgery he had. He looked over her features, she wasn’t thinking straight. She couldn’t have been.
“You’re drunk, Y/N,” he let out, feeling his body grow tense under her touch. His lips were starting to tingle from anticipation.
“I’ve had two shots and a beer, Jack, I’m not drunk,” she lifted her head slightly. Meeting his eye.
He took in a shaky breath as he took both of his hands and took a hold of her cheeks. He pulled her towards him, slamming his lips against hers as if a bomb would go off if he didn’t. She moaned against his lips as she rested her hands onto his chest muscles. Their tongues connected. His hands slowly glid from her cheeks down towards her neck, one hand ran through her hair as his other kept a soft hold of her neck.
His thumb caressed the side of her neck slowly before he pulled away. “What-” she trailed off as he leaned down and took a hold of her thighs, lifting her up from the ground, tossing her onto his shoulder. “Jack what are you doing?” she asked as she rested her hands onto the center of his back as she was being carried upstairs.
“Hold on-” he mumbled as he turned the corner towards his room. A room she has only seen a handful of times. He not so gently laid her down onto the bed, his eyes lit up at the sight of her on his bed. His nights have been filled with dreams of her laying exactly like that. With him hovering above her. She took in a deep shaky breath as he smiled towards him, she inched back slightly, trying to give them more room.
Jack shut the door and quickly locked it. He quickly climbed on top of her, supporting himself with his good arm. His other arm quickly took a hold of her thigh, putting their bodies closer together.
Immediately his lips pressed hard against hers as his grip on her thigh tightened. She moaned against his mouth as she ran her fingers through the ends of his growing hair.
His breathing quickened as he slowly pulled his lips away from hers as he slowly pressed his lips against her jaw. Tilting her head back, her entire neck and chest was in view. She was breathing hard as she continued running her fingers through the ends of his hair, tugging slightly. His lips trailed down her neck, not leaving a mark on her skin. He knows he wouldn’t hear the end of it if he did.
Her back arched, as he slowly glided his fingertips towards the small clip of her bikini on her back. He looked up towards her, pleading that she allow him to see her. She lowered her gaze, meeting his desperate gaze. All she could muster up was a nod as he quickly unclipped the top. With her assistance the top came off. He tilted back slightly, taking in her boobs.
She suddenly felt shy, no man, not even Parker, admired her like this. Jack soon leaned towards her, connecting their lips once more, “You’re so beautiful,” he mumbled against her lips. She didn’t reply, only started letting her own hands wander towards his swim trunks.
He pulled away from her lips as he began kissing and running his tongue along her skin once more. She was breathing heavily as his tongue and lips connected with her boob. She took in a sharp breath as she tilted her head back. His other hand began massaging the other one, as he took in every single breath and small utter leaving her lips. He continued lower for only a few seconds before he pulled away.
He climbed up, meeting her gaze as he slowly leaned down and kissed her lips, less urgently. More sensually as her hands slowly toyed with the waistband of his swim trunks.
He hummed as he slowly lowered his lips again, kissing and sucking the skin right below her collarbone. He was convinced that she had a swimsuit that covered it. He thought the longer his lips remained at that certain spot, creating a red jagged bruise, she would tell him to stop but he continued.
Once he was satisfied he stood up from the bed, smirking towards her. He pulled off his swim trunks, revealing himself to her. Her eyes widened as she smirked towards him. He winked towards her as he slowly walked towards her, taking a hold of her swim bottoms. He met her gaze briefly before he slowly began to pull the bottoms off of her frame. Slowly revealing herself to him.
His fantasy was in front of him, she was laying completely naked, desperately looking towards him for more. He’s never made it past this part, never made farther in his dreams. But here he was, climbing on top of her as he kissed her lips urgently. His free hand slowly wandered down towards her clit.
He slowly began running small tight circles, she moaned against his lips as she tilted her head back. “Shh,” he pointed towards the wall, warning her that Trevor’s room was right beside them. She nodded absentmindedly as she pulled his head towards her again, connecting their lips.
He pulled away again, a whine left her lips. “I think you’re gonna like this a lot better, Sunshine,” he whispered before he slowly climbed down her frame. He took a hold of her thighs, spreading them apart, getting a look of how wet she was for him.
He leaned towards her, slowly running his thumb along her clit, hearing her squirm at his touch. He smiled before he leaned towards her. His tongue slowly circled her center. A breathy moan left her lips as she gripped the pillow behind her. After a few seconds, he took her clit in his mouth.
“Oh my god,” she let out as she tilted her head back. He hummed against her body, sending an electric set of shivers through her body. Her legs tensed around his head as he slowly pulled away from her, he pressed sloppy but delicately kissed from her center, into her inner thigh before he climbed up her frame, kissing her jawline before he connected their lips once more in a sloppy dazed state.
“J-Jack,” she let out, tilting her head back, her breathing strained as her lips were swollen. He smirked as he met her gaze.
He took a hold of his hard on and ran his hand up and down it a few times before he slowly leaned down, aligning himself with her center. He slowly pushed inside, he glanced towards her watching her tilt her head back. He thrusted a few times before he leaned down, taking a hold of her thigh.
He pressed his lips against hers as he thrusted hard into her. She let out a breathy moan against his lips, too overwhelmed to kiss him properly. He smirked as he pressed his lips against her jaw, encouragingly. “You’re doing so good, Sunshine,” he mumbled against her ear.
He was already feeling close to his climax as her breathy moans continued leaving her lips. Her hands found his back, digging her nails into his skin as she was nearly at her own climax. Jack slowed his pace, not wanting the moment to be over just yet, “No,” she let out barely above a whisper.
“Sunshine, you gotta be patient,” he teased, a smirk on his lips as he took a hold of her jaw, turning her gaze towards him. “Look at me,” he mumbled before he slammed his lips against hers as he quickened his pace. He continued thrusting hard against her as she was holding her breath, trying to keep the moans inside.
“I’m gonna-” she mumbled as she tilted her head back as her release happened quickly as she tightened around him. After one more thrust he was reaching his climax.
He let out a breathy moan as he pulled out, “Fuck,” he mumbled against her jawline. She took in a deep breath as her climax slowly ended. Her head tilted back towards him, admiring his features. The sweat formed on his forehead. She reached her hand up and brushed a few stray pieces of his hair away from his face.
He leaned towards her, pecking her lips briefly. “Not so patient are we, Sunshine?” he teased. She rolled her eyes, smacking her hand against his arm. “It’s okay, we’ll work on it,”
He climbed away from her, taking a towel from the folded section beside his clean clothes. He sat beside her, slowly and delicately cleaning up the mess as he looked towards her, a small grin on his lips.
~~~
They didn’t talk about it afterwards. It happened, it was great and they didn’t talk about it. She kissed him one last time before she snuck out of the house and walked back to her own. She didn’t know how to feel, she couldn’t sleep. All she did was lay on her bed, staring towards the ceiling fan. She kept picturing him hovering above her, whispering things to her. His touch, his lips all over her body.
It was around eight in the morning when she woke up. Probably only an hour of sleep under her belt. She walked towards her bathroom, looking into the mirror to see the hickeys all over her chest. He wasn’t as careful as she thought. She sighed as she walked towards the shower, turning on the hot water as she stepped inside.
After thirty minutes, she covered her frame with a hoodie as a pair of loose shorts. She entered the living room of her lakehouse to see Ollie and Melanie sitting on the couch watching the news. She smiled towards them awkwardly as she sauntered towards the kitchen.
Jack stepped out of his shower and smiled to himself as he met his own gaze in the mirror. He was still trying to process the events of last night. It was as if it was a dream, but it was far from it. He simply put on a pair of shorts as he climbed down the steps towards the living room, the grin on his lips not dissipating.
He lifted his head to see Trevor and Cole sitting on the couch watching Friends. Jack ignored them as he beelined towards the coffee pot. His back was facing Trevor and Cole as he was adding his K-cup to the Kurig. Trevor’s eyes lit up as he barked out a laugh.
“I told you I wasn’t crazy!” Trevor laughed as he smacked his hand against Cole’s shoulder. Jack spun around, facing his friends.
“What?” Jack asked innocently.
“You had sex last night!” Trevor shouted.
“What? No I didn’t, I would know if I did,” he defended badly, the smirk on his lips was evidence enough.
“So a ghost did that to your back?” Cole teased, as he pursed his lips forward.
“What?” he asked innocently again as he jogged towards the floor length mirror. He awkwardly checked his back to see long thin scratches along the top of his shoulders. A cocky grin formed on his lips. “I always forget to check that,” he mumbled, running his hand across his chin.
“So what does this Tinder girl look like?” Cole asked. Jack shrugged.
“It’s none of your business,” Jack expressed, a grin to his lips.
Y/N kept her mug in her lap as she watched the TV screen silently with Ollie and Melanie. Ollie was whispering to Melanie, a few snickers leaving his lips. Y/N shifted her gaze towards the pair, furrowing her eyebrows harshly. He smiled politely as he remained silent as he shifted his gaze towards the screen.
Chloe stumbled down the steps with Jacob behind her. Y/N stayed silent, which was unusual of her. Any time she would not greet anyone, she always had something to hide. A secret circling her thoughts. Chloe stopped dead in her tracks, watching Y/N ignore her. She furrowed her eyebrows, suspiciously wandering towards Y/N.
“Why didn’t you say hi to me?” she asked harshly. Y/N shifted her gaze towards her.
“Hi Chloe, good morning,” Y/N offered, a fake grin to her lips. Chloe peaked her head around the small hidden hickey just beneath her ear. Chloe’s eyes widened.
“You had sex last night!” she accused as she pointed a finger towards her. Y/N fought the smile forming to her lips.
“I-I did not,” she said, completely blowing her cover. Chloe widened her eyes as she raised her eyebrows. Y/N sighed, dropping her gaze towards her lap. “I might’ve had sex last night, but I don’t want to talk about it, okay?”
“Fine, but when you do wanna talk about it. I need all the details,” Chloe expressed as she walked towards the kitchen to get herself a cup of coffee as well.
~
Somehow the secret that Y/N and Jack hooked up remained quiet. No one was plotting to figure out who the person was. Chloe had a feeling the guy Y/N hooked up with was Jack. She has always silently rooted for them to get together, but she wasn’t going to press the situation.
Ollie, Melanie, and Harry offered to drive everyone to the Zach Bryan concert they were attending later that night. The boys were all ready. Many dressed in similar attire as the girls were still getting ready. Y/N stood in her bathroom, trying to cover up the hickeys scattered around her boobs and collarbone. A knock hit her bathroom door, she jumped nervously.
Jack slowly slipped into the bathroom. His eyes lowered towards her chest, the half covered hickeys. His eyes widened, a small chuckle leaving his throat. “Sorry,” he mumbled. She rolled her eyes playfully.
“It’s okay, heard Cole joking about your back. Sorry,” she said, smiling towards him through the mirror. He shrugged as he stood behind her, watching her apply the makeup to her body. “I might need a new outfit, I don’t think I can cover all of these,” she let out defeatedly.
“You’ll look beautiful in anything,” he expressed genuinely. She smiled towards him.
“You look very cute,” she mumbled towards him.
His eyes widened, he leaned towards her, “Was that a compliment, Sunshine?” he whispered into her ear. She rolled her eyes as she leaned forward, still attempting to cover the last one beneath her collarbone. “Are we going to talk about it?” he asked.
She sighed as she licked her lips nervously. “I don’t know if we should make it more than a one time thing, Jack. I mean you live in Jersey, I just got a new job here. It wouldn’t make sense,” she said, avoiding his gaze. He nodded.
He cleared his throat, “Well, I’ve got to be back in Jersey by September first. Let’s do our thing, whatever that may be and have this conversation then?” he mumbled, his head rested on her shoulder. She met his gaze through the mirror for only a moment before she nodded without hesitation. He took a hold of her hips as he spun her around, leaning her back against the bathroom counter.
He leaned towards her desperately as he kissed her. She giggled while taking a hold of his cheek, pulling him away from her. “Shhh,” she forced out while laughing.
~
The concert was going as well as she could’ve expected. It was amazing, the group was amazing. Everyone was having a blast together. Something in the Orange began playing and Jack slowly walked up behind Y/N. She tilted her head back meeting his gaze, smiling up towards him. He wrapped his arms around her waist pulling her towards his chest.
They swayed back and forth, quietly singing along to the song together. Chloe, Cole, and Trevor huddled up as they watched the pair from a distance. Chloe’s jaw nearly hit the floor as she continued to stare towards them.
“No fucking way!” Trevor shouted, he was barely audible as the concert was so loud. Cole and Trevor started shoving and directing their friends' attention towards Jack and Y/N.
“To you, I’m just a man, to me you’re all I am. Where the hell am I supposed to go?” Jack mumbled into her ear, kissing the skin just below it. She hummed as she tilted her head back, meeting his gaze as she pressed her lips against his.
“Are you kidding me!” Chloe shouted as she walked towards the pair. The music slowly faded as Zach was beginning his transition into the next song. “Are you kidding me?!” she said again as she stopped beside them. “I fucking knew it! I called it!” she yelled out.
Jack and Y/N dropped their heads as they slowly stepped apart, giggles leaving their lips. “We don’t even know what we’re doing yet! Calm down!” Y/N explained.
“Oh-oh-oh okay, I’ll calm down when you two explain when this fucking happened!”
pretty sure i could romanticise anything, i am deeply delusional.
Underrated writer alert❗️❗️
kinktober <3
wearing the others clothes
oscar x reader
Oscars POV: It was along day of of going over data and Andrea making me and Lando color in the lines. Track limits were a bitch, but I felt worse for Lando than me. I already texted Y/N that I was on my way back to the hotel, and I would bring dinner. She hadn’t texted back but, it wasn’t out of the ordinary. Working remotely had it’s perks, like getting to travel with me to almost every race.
I struggle to open the door with everything in my hand, and I expected for Y/N to run and help as soon as I was through the door. Instead, I was met with silence, the lights were dimmed and I didn’t see her anywhere. I set things down on the dresser and called her name a few times. “Babe? Y/N?” I sat on the bed heavily, and heard a small groan. I turned to face the lump on the bed, that I missed the first time, and saw her head poking out the top. I pulled the blankets away from her face and saw a familiar number on the back of her hoodie. My number to be exact, she’s wearing my hoodie. We haven’t been together long, well, 10 months to be exact. I guess that could be a long time. Either way, she hasn’t worn anything of mine yet, I mean she has her own Mclaren merch and she looks amazing in it. But it’s a different feeling when she’s wearing my clothes, and she smells like me. It makes me chest warm and fuzzy.
Instead of waking her, I change out of my own gear and climb into bed next to her. She makes a small noise when I pull her back against me, but settles as soon as I kiss her temple and squeeze her waist. I push my face into her neck, taking in her scent mixed with mine. This…this was a different feeling then just seeing her in my clothes this was..this stirred something new in him.
He didn’t ponder for long, the alluring smells and feelings pulled him into sleep.
He texted her the next day to let her know that a car would be there to pick her up before the race started. He had to be in the garage extra early to meet with Zak and his strategist. Starting P1 was big, huge even. As a rookie I was not supposed to be having this great of a season, 2 podiums in a row? Unheard of.
It was 15 min until the race started and I made my way out of the garage to see everyone before I started my last minute prep. I spotted Y/N talking to one of my engineers and laughing and fuck me did she look gorgeous. She’s wearing my team shirt with my name and number on it, how do you know it’s yours do you ask? Because it’s about three sizes to big on her-and she’s got my favorite pair of jeans she owns on, they’re baggy and they make her look quite tall. And her hair is in a little half do thing, she’s got braids framing her face with ribbons tied at the end. She knows I love when she uses bows in her hair, makes her look so innocent and pure.
She found me and waved me over. “Osc!” My legs were on auto pilot, my body magnetized to hers and she wrapped me in a hug. “Hi baby, glad you made it. Is that my shirt?” I asked nonchalantly. She pulls away, “yeah sorry, the rest of my papaya things were dirty.” She frowns and looks down. “I should have asked first I’m sor-”
“No hey, I love it. You don’t ever have to ask to wear my clothes baby.” She blushed and looked down at her feet. I giggled at her reaction, and I lean forward to kiss her forehead. One of my hands found it;s way under her shirt (read: mine) to rest along her stomach. It was nothing new for either of us, it was a comfort to both. However, what was new was a thick band where her underwear would be. Upon furher investigation, oh fuck oh fuck she’s wearing my boxers. For fucks sake mate do not get a boner right now, it is not the time.
“Is there anything of mine you aren’t wearing? Your dedicated, boxers and everything.” She looked up at me with a guilty look. “I was in a rush this morning, I over slept big time, and it was the first bottoms I found. The jeans are mine and my soxs-well the socks are Lando’s merch. The white ones with the ‘LN4’ stitched on the side.” As she lifted her pant leg so I could see, a nasty feeling bloomed in my chest. I didn’t like that she was wearing anything associated with Lando.
“You know what, I have some socks in my drivers room, you can wear those. No need to wear those pesky things.” I started to pull her towards the hallway that led to my room when she stopped me once we were out of earshot of people. “Oscar! What is going on love? You seemed fine just a minute ago, now your in a tizzy.” She had that stance, the mom stance is what I affectionately called it. Hands on her hips, one leg popped out, not good.
I sighed, “I just, your MY y/n, not Landos. I want you to wear my things.” I mumbled the last part, as if she wouldn’t catch on.
Y/N pouted and cupped my cheeks, pushing up on her toes to kiss me.
“Your y/n, my ozzy. Always.” She scrunched her nose as she rubbed it with mine. “And I will totally change into your socks if it makes you feel better.”
I laughed at her statement. I was being stupid, I was the one that went home with her every night, not Lando, not anyone.
“Nah it’s fine, you’ve got a big 81 on your back, I think everyone knows who your here for.” And with that, I leave her to get ready for the race.
P2, P fucking 2. The gap between me and Max was still big but, managed to defend myself against my own teammate.
After the podium celebrations and I had packed up my things to leave, I found Y/N consoling Lando, giving him a small sympathy pat. She said her goodbyes and made her way over to me, taking her bag and coat from me. “Everything okay?” I nodded over to Lando. “Yeah he was just giving me more socks, you jealous?” Y/N wiggled her eyebrows and giggled. I laughed along with her, shaking my head, and started to pull her towards the waiting car. “Good because you, get to pull all your clothes off me when we get back.” I whipped my head towards her. She already had a slight flush on her cheeks, rocking on her heels as we stood outside the car. I didn’t even know what to say yet, I just ushered her in the backseat and urged the driver to move as fast as he could.
I pushed Y/N through the door of our hotel room, locking it and using the DND sign. I was about to wreck her and I did not need anyone knocking in the morning.
I had her up against the wall, opposite of the bed. Her hands were in my hair, tugging every which way, taking control of the kiss. I let her think that she was in charge for a couple of more kisses before I pushed off the wall and pulled her onto the bed. Y/N squealed as I landed on top of her, my hands went under her shirt, pushing it up her chest and leaving small marks as more skin was exposed. “Baby… need you inside me please.”
How could I say no? I groaned and got her shoes and pants off, leaving her in my boxers and shirt. “Is it..is it bad that I kinda wanna keep you in this?” I took a step back and looked down at the love of my life. She laughed and wiggled her hips. I watched her hands go under her back, and pulled her bra off her body.
“How about..I take these off,” Y/N said as she seductively slid my boxers off. “and I’ll keep this on so you can see just who I belong to. Because it’s your number I wear every race.”
She smiled up at me, that god damn smile. Could make the whole world fall at her feet with that smile, and that sparkle in her eye. And the way she looked naked with nothing but my shirt on. The shirt she wants to wear, just to let everyone know that she’s mine.
She beckons me over, opening her legs further. I glide my hand down her leg to meet at her sickly sweet opening, dripping just for me. “Do you need me to…or can we skip it tonight?” I asked sheepishly. Not that I wouldn’t love to finger her until her legs went numb, I’m just to worked up for it.
She laughs at my sudden shy demeanor, I’ve blown her back out many times before and I was never shy asking about prep. “Yeah Osc, I’m good. Have been since you practically were feral at the fact that I wasn’t wearing your socks. Didn’t know you were so possessive.”
I laughed and starting stripping myself of my clothes and grabbing a condom. Wrap it before you tap it kids.
“Yeah I didn’t either.” I push the condom over my aching member and rub the tip against her clit. Getting back at her for the teasing earlier. I looked up at her as I paused at her hole, silently asking for permission. She nodded meakly and I slowly pushed in.
Y/N gasped and held onto my forearms for a moment. “Osc, baby…take the condom off.”
My eyes widen. “W-what?” Was she insane? Yeah she was actually insane. “Mhm, I’m on birth control, you know this.” I just stared at her. We, in all of our month of dating, have never fucke raw. Hell I’ve never done that, with anyone. “Are you sure? You know the pill isn’t always affective.” Y/N rolled her eyes and pushed on my stomach so I’d fall out of her. She slowly pulled the condom off and stroked my dick a few times. “That’s what the morning after pill is for.” So much for wrap it before you tap it.
She guided me back to her pussy and just the feeling of her soaking me put me on edge. Without a single warning, I thrust into her. And fuck me was it perfect, she was perfect. We both couldn’t breath for a minute. She had her head push back into the pillows and I grabbed her jaw and forced her to look at me. “Eyes on me sweet girl.” I wish I could take a picture, capture the pensive look on her face. The scrunch of her nose, the way her lips part to say my name. She grabs the hand under her jaw and slides it against her own, intertwining our fingers and laying them against the bed. Ah, now i get it.
“Oh sweetheart, you need me to hold your hand huh?” I fake pout down at her as I start a slow rhythm. “Shut up, oh fuck Osc.” Her back bows as I lift her legs over my hips, making me hit deeper.
All that can be heard throughout the room is skin colliding and y/n’s whines of pleasure. Watching her like this, wearing my number, my winning number, fuck me I don’t know what heaven looks or sounds like but it’s this. “Jesus Christ, this was such a b-bad ah! Bad idea, fuck I’m gonna cum to quickly.” She smiled and brought my hand to her throat, knowing how much the control turned me on.
“C’mon Ozzy, baby, cum in me. please god want it so bad.” Y/N gasped out as I lightly squeezed her throat. The pace I set was bruising, the thought of getting to cum inside my girl, my Y/N-
With my free hand I reached down to play with her clit, determined to get her to cum before me. She pushed her throat against my hand as she moaned my name and came. I could see the white ring form around the base of my cock, that pushing my to cum in her.
let’s just say it’s not the last time she’ll be wearing my number.
I AM DECEASED
lando watching POVs of himself like "damn so this is what it's like to be loved"
or maybe he just wants to fantasize about being the Y/N to charles. valid tbh.
lando’s watching POVs like:
lando woke up to the sound of voices downstairs. he sat up, his tiny, little, petit body consumed by the normal human sized bed. he threw his hair into a messy bun, rubbing the sleep from his green orbs.
he walked down the stairs into the kitchen where his evil mother who hated him for seemingly no reason was stood waiting for him.
“what’s going on?” lando asked the woman, who couldn’t look at him in the eyes (his green orbs) since his father died in a natural disaster that wasn’t lando’s fault.
“i’ve sold you to zac brown. pack your things.” she replied.
SLAY SLAY SLAY 👏👏
can you do a mick schumacher x female reader smut where it involves the cowboy hat rule and a daddy kink 🙈
Rodeo.
Mick Schumacher x reader
You looked through your Instagram feed seeing the new Haas posts of the boys dressed like cowboys. glaring to the bedside table, you saw the exact same cowboy hat that Mick was wearing in the photos. Out of boredom you took the hat and wore it. It suit you surprisingly well. You sent a selfie to Mick as a joke, not expecting much.
"I'm omw." He sent you a message back immediately. It sounded like he was mad or at least serious.
__
You heard a beep on the door as it opened. "Hey babe? Are you ok?" You asked him as he closed the door.
"yeah everything's fine"
"oh thank god."
"babe, do you know about the cowboy hat rule?" He hugged you and smothered you in kisses . "You Wear the hat, you need to ride the cowboy" he whispered.
"wait are you serious?" You giggled.
"mhm"
You saw him start to unbuckle his belt and you started to take your thong off. "Mick-"
"ah- no, you know what you need to call me." He said sternly.
"sorry daddy" you mumbled in embarrassment; You could just feel Mick's mood change. He pulled down his boxers before sitting down on the sofa, revealing his boner which had been waiting for ages to fuck you.
"come on, what you waiting for sugar?" He slapped his thigh to signal you. He got your ass and lined you up. In a sudden swift, he pulled you down, making you take all of him.
"daddy!" You gasped loudly.
"oh sorry did I catch you by surprise?" He teased.
Was his dick not only pretty, it was perfect. Like it was made for you. It fit you perfectly, it hit the right spot each time as if it was molded just for you and you only. It felt unreal.
"hey, not yet" he pulled you back down as you started to ride him. He hugged you tight. "Oh my god, you feel so tight" he whispered in his breath as you squirmed around.
"you wanna move now?" He squeezed your ass. You slowly started to move up and down. As he guided you as you rode him, he grabbed the cowboy hat and put it on you. He moved you up and down without stop and started leaving love bites around your body.
You moaned every single time he slammed into you, making you more and more closer to your orgasm.
You heard the bell ring and then a familiar voice. "Mick! Me and Daniel and Lance are going out, wanna come?" He shouted.
"it's estaban... shit." Mick whispered in his breath. A few moments later, mick started to pump you full of his seeds which made you start your orgasm. He covered his mouth to stop himself from moaning but completely forgot about you.
"oh my g..~! Daddy~!" You moaned as you finished.
"woah! Little Mick's grown up! Good on you" Daniel shouted.
"Daniel!" You could hear estaban shout in the distance
"they're gonna tease us all day tomorrow" he laughed as he pulled out of you.
__
I read this listening to “obsessed” by Olivia Rodrigo, top tier!!!
Pacify Her
Lando Norris x reader
•Tags: smut, toxic Lando, hate-fuck, makeup sex
•Loosely based on a song by Melanie Martinez with the same title.
•Wordcount: 1.6k
It was unbearable how Lando squeezed this new girl's thigh and whispered in her ear. You knew it was to make you jealous, he was a tease even more when you two were in a relationship. You had really bad arguments that let to the decision of splitting, but since you didn't want to break up the friend group, you agreed to just say the relationship ended on good terms and decided to be friends which was a total lie and both of you knew it.
Now, only a couple months after everything, Lando had shown up with a new "girlfriend" which drove you absolutely mad how uncouth he could be. Bringing this girl in your group out of the blue fully knowing that neither you nor himself had moved on from that deep, long term thing you had.
She looked at you like she wanted to be your friend and get your validation so bad. You didn't know if Lando had told her you were his ex. He didn't even dare mention it when he was introducing her. You automatically hated her, although her big brown eyes seemed lovely and innocent. She didn't have a clue what she had gotten herself into. You pitied her cluelessness.
You noticed Lando's griny glances at you, he kept making sure you were looking before each kiss he left on her cheek. The bastard had all his moves coordinated and planned but you had been with him for too long not to see right through his facade.
You were at your limit, who was he to inflict this hurt on you after all that he had done?
Rage made your body dense as you walked towards Lando's house the night after, when you made sure nobody else was with him. His Friday nights had always been free on purpose to sleep until noon, game, and sleep again. You remember trying to wake him up for lunch and he was dead asleep because he had stayed awake to play with friends.
You rang and he buzzed the door open without asking. Walking towards the stairs you noticed the rose garden you had planted in a corner. The thought of Lando's face after a thorn had poked him in the arm and how he treated the flowers as his enemies forced your lips into a fainted smile. You hated that his memories made you happy. You hated it was him you had those memories with.
You pushed the thoughts away and tried to focus on why you were here. Lando opened the door, a confused look on his face, "y/n? What is it why are you here?"
"We need to talk." And you stormed in.
"Please come in, make yourself comfortable." The sarcasm in his voice was familiar, and now that you weren't in love with him, infuriating.
"Want to talk about what?"
"About how you're being such an asshole."
"Excuse me?"
"Don't act like this Lando I know you did those things on purpose."
"Damn I don't know what you're talking about." He kept his sarcastic tone. You hated it.
You pushed his chest back in anger, "stop playing with me. You know damn well this girl you keep bringing is just a doll to mess with my head."
Lando smiled as if he had been expecting these words from you.
"This is way too low, even for you Lando."
"Everyone thinks we're friends, why can't friends introduce their new girlfriends to their other friends?"
"I'm not everyone. I know this is a lie stop trying to make it sound casual."
"What do you expect me to do? Stay single until you're over me?"
"Yes!" The loud sound that exited your mouth surprised you as it did Lando. You never planned to sound weak or needy. You just wanted to get closure, "look. I'm not trying to control your life or whatever, but what you're doing to make me jealous is messy and fucking pathetic. Fix it. Goodbye." And you started walking towards the door.
"Well did it work?" Lando's voice stopped you. He sounded sort of genuine for the first time in months.
You kept silent and still, wondering what to answer. Turning around to face him you said, "well do you love her?"
"Of course I do. She's very real."
You took one step closer, "stop lying."
Lando took a step closer to you, "stop being jealous."
You took one more step, "she looks way too innocent for you. I pity her."
Lando took another step , "I can teach her."
-"Funny."
-"I know."
-"You're insufferable."
-"I know."
Silence.
Now you were only one step away from eachother. Only one breath. You were mad at him and the tension felt heavy in the air as the sun was halfway set. His eyes looked crazy blue in the last golden rays of sunshine coming in fron his big windows. His face stingy and lips so soft it made you even more angry at him.
Your self control was getting shaky and you felt it shatter when Lando swinged his arms up to hold your face to kiss you deeply on the lips.
You squeezed your hand on his arm in protest to rip him off of you before it was too late but he was desperate.
He kept kissing you harder and harder like you gave him air to breathe.
You hated this. You hated the way his body pulled you in and you hated how it felt so good. He knew his way with you. Every single button, all the nooks and crannies.
You finally eased into the kiss, letting go of Lando's hoodie that was balled up in your fist and started to kiss him back.
His hands unzipped your sweatshirt and pulled it off your arms as soon as he felt that you wanted this as well. You let him. He slipped his hand under your tshirt, pinching your belly, messaging your back.
You let out a heavy exhale.
"I missed you." He whispered into your mouth, putting his lips on yours before you could say anything back.
Lando's hands moved down to your jeans but you held onto his hand to prevent him from going on. He stopped kissing you.
It was all too much for you and you hated him for being so good at this. You stared dead into his eyes, knowing full well that you were helpless, and said, "you fucking bastard."
He giggled when you pressed your debating lips on his again.
You let him kiss your lips, your neck, your collarbone, your breasts, your belly. You let him get down on his knees for you, between your legs.
His wet tongue on you made you jump in a surprising pleasure. The tip of his tongue moving in circular motions, in search of the place that made you moan the loudest. You tried fighting the sensation but failed miserably when he raised his finger to your entrance, messaging and warning about what's to come.
The moan that left your lips after he pushed his finger inside you was involuntary. You could feel Lando smiling on your pussy with the sound. He kept moving his tongue with your hand in his curls; pumping his finger and pulling moans out of you until you felt like you could take it no more. That's when Lando pulled his now soaked finger out and stood up, Leaving you clenching around nothing.
He faced you again to continue his kisses; you could taste yourself on his lips as he took off your tshirt and your bra, leaving you completely naked in the middle of the house. He looked at you once more before taking off his own hoodie you've been pulling on to get rid of since the start, he turned you around and got closer. His bulge rubbing against your butt from under his sweatpants.
"You're so pretty." He whispered into your ear, "wait here okay?"
You turned around to see him almost run to his bedroom to get condoms and you got a chance to take a look at his smooth, tan skin as he walked back.
Lando kissed you shoulder and your back as he slowly bent you over the handle of the couch. Messaging your body as he bent on you to let you feel his skin, his pants were off, your could feel his hard dick against the back of your leg. He adjusted himself on you and pushed in. You weren't hesitant to moan anymore. His length inside you was a familiar sensation of pleasure after this long. He was all you needed.
Lando started pumping deeper into you, making you feel fully stretched. You could hear his little groans and exhales when he grabbed your neck to make you arch your back more, pulling your head towards his mouth. "I bet nobody fucked you like this since I was gone." And he started moving faster. You pushed back your body into his, blurring the lines infront of your eyes.
You came within seconds after that.
He pulled out of you. You turned around quickly, grabbed his shoulders and lead him to the couch to sit down.
"Could you ever teach her this?"
And you climbed on top of him, each leg on each side. Leading his still erect dick to your hole and pushing down on him. Lando threw his head back with a moan. You took his hands and put them on your ass. He squeezed his hands with every movement you made.
You started kissing under his ear, where you knew he was sensitive. Moans started turning into whimpers and he started pushing up his legs towards you. You both moved faster as you reached your high. You nails dug into Lando's shoulder and his hands tight around your back when you both came and you collapsed into his arms.
****
"What a stupid decision." You said through your panting and you both giggled since you knew you were going to make more.
(This is the first time I'm posting a smut one shot online sorry if it's short or lacking♡)
This is so sad and sweet and cute and beautiful and agh. Miss Zee I love you
carlos sainz jr x fem!reader [8.8k] summary: you weren’t aware that your family’s worry had extended so far that they’d brought in the heavy artillery, it being carlos sainz of all people. the very same person who’d turned you into someone you didn’t recognise in the mirror anymore. warnings: 18+ explicit smut & language, very angsty, mentions of alcohol abuse and drug use, heartbreak, childhood friends, brother's best friend, public sex a/n: this has been sitting in my drafts, unfinished for a whole month so I went back and thought that it deserved a second chance. and voilà, here you have it! my very first carlos fic!! i'd love to hear your thoughts on this, because I love how this turned out. happy reading my lovelies!! x
The music was pounding, borderline rupturing your eardrum with good music that had you bobbing your head gently to the intimate beat. Everywhere you looked were bodies, moving in unison and hands roaming sweaty skin.
The bartender poured drinks like his life depended on it, and you watched him pour you another shot of tequila without a verbal request from you, shooting you a friendly grin and side stepping to help the next customer. You downed your shot, pulling a small face at the rancid taste as you made your way to the dance floor.
You didn’t know when you’d become this type of person. The person who’d spend their weekends in clubs, dancing the nights away until they got blisters on their feet and most likely woke up with their head in a toilet bowl. It had started out as something you and your girlfriends did, sneaking into clubs when you’d just turned legal, but then you’d started going alone because you found out that sitting in your apartment alone with your thoughts was way too much for you to handle.
You weren’t strong enough to deal with your emotions, preferring to find people and alcohol to distract you. It had worked out quite well for you and the multiple shots you’d taken over the span of two hours were starting to settle in your bones, buzzing right beneath your skin and giving you enough courage to seek out the dance floor.
Your body moved like it was an entity of its own, face tilted up to the ceiling and eyes closed as you felt the music. It rattled your bones and settled in your hips, the bottom of your heels sticking to the floor with every step you took.
I’ve never seen someone look so at home on a dance floor, he’d once said. The words came sneaking into your mind, unbidden. You could still remember the party, how your brother had bought the whole gang shots and you’d taken to the floor with laughter and happiness in your bellies. The DJ hadn’t been very happy when your brother and the man of the hour stepped up to the booth and completely took over with their non-existent experience of manning a DJ booth, but he’d relented when your brother had drunkenly explained that this man right here? He’s gonna be racing cars professionally, cabrón.
You were so far gone in your head, not even flinching at the pair of hands sliding over your waist and pulling you into a body. The person smelled of cigarette smoke and cheap cologne, and it made something roll in your stomach at the mix of it in your nostrils but you couldn’t pull away. He was yet another distraction from your messed up life, and you welcomed it in all forms.
If you let yourself take a step back and think of exactly why you allowed a complete stranger to touch you the way they were, you’d come to the conclusion that the reason was because the feeling of hands on your hips reminded you of him. That one damned night that changed you, that made you into this.
He’d cornered you against the wall, claimed your lips in a bruising kiss that left you panting and his hands. Fuck. His hands had gripped your hips so tight that you’d had bruises for a whole week after that encounter.
You’d thought that finally, finally the both of you would be together after years of pining; Spending your awkward teenage years wishing that your brother’s best friend would look at you as a girl he could imagine kissing, and not as his best friend’s sister and a family friend. But then he’d acted like nothing happened, leaving you in the dust with little to no explanation as he went to kickstart his career.
Bile rose in your throat as your brain entered dangerous territory, and you blinked your eyes open against the lights. It was blurry, and it took a few moments for you to realise that there were tears welling up in your eyes. You’d stopped crying long ago, but sometimes the tears managed to sneak up on you when you were vulnerable and drunk.
The hands on your body were suddenly too much, and just as you were about to run, someone grabbed you and yanked a little harder than you had been prepared for. You stumbled, a wordless shout leaving your lips when you were pulled to the side of the dance floor, legs struggling to keep up. It took a second for you to realise that someone had grabbed you and was in the process of dragging you off the dance floor, away from the sweaty and dancing bodies, away from the man who you’d danced with. Your eyes were scanning your surroundings, feeling too drunk to think of a good plan to escape so you settled for the only thing that would hopefully get someone’s attention.
Before you could open your mouth and scream, a hand settled right on your lips and muffled the sound, your eyes flickering up to the man in front of you in the hopes that you could shoot him the most pleading look through your eyes.
You found yourself looking into round and dark eyes, so eerily familiar that it made your stomach violently turn and you took a stumbling step back like shock itself had shoved you, turning around to promptly retch into a nearby trash can. You heaved and clutched at the edge of the bin with your hands, moaning miserably until it finally stopped.
“Come on, let’s get you outside.” His voice sounded somewhere behind you, somehow overpowering the pulsing music.
His hands grabbed at you, helping you steady yourself and you didn’t bother to spare him another glance as you weakly shoved his hands away. He didn’t fight you, nor say anything when you walked straight out of the club, legs feeling incredibly weak and hands shaking; like you were two seconds away from breaking down.
And you were. What the fuck was he doing here? Why would he come back?
The chilly air was welcomed when you pushed the back door open, stumbling out into the alley and breathing in, in an effort to sober up. You ignored your trembling hands as you dug around in your purse for gum, anything to get rid of the sour taste in your mouth but you doubted it would do much to settle the nausea roiling in your stomach.
You heard a scuffle behind you, causing you to freeze because you’d been hoping that it was all just your drunken mind playing tricks on you; Because it happened sometimes. It had happened in your dreams, and once when you’d smoked a dodgy rolled up joint and hallucinated him being there. But no, he was standing there when you turned around, eyebrows pulled together in that annoying frown he always wore whenever he disapproved of something. His face was passive though, eyes not giving away anything and it was so infuriating.
He’d always played the older brother, acting like he had some kind of right to decide over you just because he was your brother’s friend. But his feelings had been anything but fraternal, he’d made that very clear when he decided to fuck you and leave.
You swallowed, feeling nauseous as you stood staring at him.
“What are you doing here?” You asked, cursing yourself quietly when your voice shook. But you sounded stern, even in your drunken state and something about your tone made the man grit his teeth.
“I was worried—“
No. You didn’t need to hear the same old spiel again. He didn’t get to be worried about you, not anymore.
“What are you doing here, Carlos?” You cut him off, making him cringe at the way you said his name, sharply and angry - so differently from how you used to say it.
“Your family is worried about you.” He replied slowly.
The way he talked reminded you of someone who spoke carefully as to not scare away a skittish animal. It was very bizarre, the feeling so unreal that you had a hard time believing that your fucked up mind hadn’t decided to conjure him up on a random Sunday night. A few moments passed as you stared, and stared. He was truly there in the flesh.
You were aware that your mother had been worried, calling you every day to check up on you and you gave her the same old answer because what else was there to say?
You just weren’t aware that your family’s worry had extended so far that they’d brought in the heavy artillery, it being Carlos fucking Sainz of all people. The very same person who’d turned you into someone you didn’t recognise in the mirror anymore.
“I wanted to check up on you, see how you are doing.” He broke the drawn out silence, stuffing both of his hands into the pockets of his jacket like he didn’t know what else to do with them.
You remembered the odd habit he used to have, where he’d wring his hands whenever he felt out of place. It was such a minuscule detail that barely anyone took notice of, but you did. You always did.
Your eyes dropped to follow the movement, noting the casual jeans and the red hoodie under his black jacket. You quickly looked away, refusing to think about how good he looked.
“Well, now you have. So you can go.” You shot him a smile with no real joy behind it, turning around and walking down the alleyway in the direction of your apartment.
You knew that he wouldn’t leave you alone, and a big part of you wanted him to. But you couldn’t deny that one percent that wanted, needed him to stay.
The sounds of his footsteps let you know that he wasn’t far behind and you jumped like he’d burned you when you felt his fingertips touch your arm. Just a quick touch that lit your body on fire. Your eyes found his and you took a big step back, feeling your chest go tight at the slight downwards tilt of his lips, like he hadn’t expected you to react negatively.
“Nena, please. Let me walk you home, at least.” He said and your throat tightened up at the familiar pet name he’d called you since you were children and so incredibly naive.
“Don’t call me that.” You sniffled, bringing a hand up to rub at your nose. “You don’t get to show up here after two years and play the hero. I don’t need one, and I certainly don’t need you.”
“Lo sé.” He said, but he really didn’t know, did he?
You didn’t say a word, taking two steps before glaring down at your shoes. They had been a pain the whole night and now that the alcohol wasn’t doing its job of numbing the pain, your feet were starting to hurt from being pinched for the past few hours. You balanced yourself with a hand on the wall, slipping your heels off with a quiet grumble and shoving the offending footwear into the man’s chest. Carlos grunted at the unexpected force, hands coming up to catch the heels before they dropped and raising both eyebrows at you.
You weren’t looking at his face, but you could tell that he was baffled by your actions and it made you feel just a tad bit smug. If he was going to show up and insist on pestering you, he might as well make himself useful.
The concrete was uncomfortable to walk barefoot on, but it felt freeing and you took comfort in that feeling. Anything to not think about exactly who was walking a few steps behind you, feeling his eyes on you like hot coal on your skin.
“Do you live far from here?” He asked, tone cautious like he didn’t want to say the wrong things or set you off.
“No, why?” You turned your head to look over your shoulder and found him walking way closer to you than you thought. “Is the neighbourhood not up to your standards?”
You knew you were being petty now, playing unfair and it clearly annoyed Carlos as he looked away to avoid your cold gaze. It wasn’t his fault that he’d gone and got himself an even more lavish lifestyle where he raced cars for a living and got millions out of it. You’d always been proud of him, one of his biggest supporters before everything transpired and although you didn’t want to admit it out loud, you’d always keep tabs on him.
There weren’t enough fingers on your hands to count the amount of times you’d struggled to not pick up your phone and text him after he’d won a race, or if he did badly. The urge to comfort him and to be happy for him was still there, even years later.
“I live down the road.” You said, desperate to break the tension. “You can go.”
Carlos fell into step beside you, not sparing you a glance as he nodded.
“I know.” He said, but made no effort to leave you alone.
The two of you walked in relative silence, interjecting with small talk every now and then to fill the unbearable quiet that had blanketed over you. It took a few minutes for Carlos to relax, shoulders dropping like the tension was slowly seeping out of his body when he realised that you were beyond your anger now, speaking softly rather than the tone you’d carried a few minutes earlier. He didn’t like how you sounded though, mellow and short, like you’d given up on caring. It made something ugly swirl in his stomach to the point where he started to feel nauseous.
He was starting to spiral in his thoughts, trapped inside his head and just as he opened his mouth to speak, you beat him to it.
“How’s Ferrari treating you?” You asked and his head snapped to you. You weren’t looking at him, staring straight ahead with your mouth in a thin line. “You’ve been doing well lately.”
Carlos didn’t know if you were trying to act nonchalant and if you were, you were doing a piss poor job because he could see how you struggled to maintain a neutral expression on your face. He didn’t want to point it out though because his mind had finally caught up to your question, teetering along the edge of she’s keeping tabs on me.
“Yeah.” His voice was hoarse and he hurriedly cleared his throat. “It’s been good, felt like a dream when I signed the contract.”
You could still remember when he started karting, how he’d plead with his parents to buy him merchandise with the Ferrari logo poorly pressed onto the material. It had always been a dream of his, and something about him achieving it made you smile.
“I bet it was.” You said softly, glancing at Carlos to find him staring at you; eyes wide and searching, like he was taking in your smile. You hurried to look away, suddenly uncomfortable with the rush of old emotions storming back and taking residence in your entire being.
“How have you been?” He asked, genuine and curious.
You considered ignoring his question, not knowing how to answer him without making yourself out to be the most pathetic person to grace the earth. How could you tell him how you’d been in a downwards spiral for the past years? Could you even admit to the things you’d done, how you’d drank yourself to oblivion in hopes to numb yourself and worked dead end jobs to keep yourself afloat?
“I’ve been fine.” Your tone was flat, letting him know that you weren’t in the mood to delve deeper and thankfully he respected your wishes, keeping silent. “Well, here we are.”
You nodded up at the apartment complex you’d stopped in front of, suddenly feeling awkward as you found yourselves staring at each other with no idea how to proceed.
Carlos fidgeted as you stared at him, looking as anxious as you felt and it made you a little sad because you’d been better than this, once upon a time. You’d never known awkward silences or odd looks, but you’d somehow managed to go from close to whatever the fuck this was. Strangers. Ex-lovers. But could you even dub him as an ex-lover when you’d only slept with him once?
You took in the sharpness of his jaw, the stubble growing on it fitting him as well as you remembered but there was a certain edge to him that hadn’t existed last time you saw him. He looked fully grown up, like an adult who didn’t have time for children’s games and torrid love affairs.
Homesickness bloomed in your chest the further your mind delved into the past, suddenly wishing that things were different. Wishing that you’d swallowed your pride and picked up your phone.
Would he have answered? Did he change his number?
You swallowed excessive saliva in your mouth, trying not to grimace when it felt like swallowing gravel as your eyes traveled down his arm that he’d successfully managed to free from his pocket, hanging by his side. Your eyes latched onto the space between his thumb and pointer finger, where the tan skin was white and raised in a small bump. A healed scar that brought such a rush of memories that the words tumbled out of your mouth before you overthought them.
“Do you wanna come in?” You asked and Carlos couldn’t manage to hold his surprise in, eyebrows shooting up and jaw going a little slack. “Just… for a while.”
It probably sounded wrong, like you were inviting him with ulterior motives and you weren’t. Really. Just the thought of him touching you made bile rise in your throat and you realised that you weren’t ready. For any of this. But then again, would you ever be ready?
Whatever inner monologue you were running through in your head was halted when Carlos exhaled, glancing at the apartment building before nodding twice.
“Me encantaría.” He said, voice gentle.
You hurried to get your keys out of your purse, hands shaking a little and you didn’t know whether it was from your nerves being shot or the unhealthy amount of alcohol you’d consumed not even an hour ago. The door gave way when you turned the key and pushed it forcefully with your shoulder, stepping inside and flicking the light on.
It wasn’t much. A one bedroom apartment in a safe enough neighbourhood. Your brother had scowled and made his displeasure known when he’d helped you move in, even offering to find you a better place to rent out but you refused. Mostly because this was further away from your family and because it was yours. It had its defects and flaws, but you loved it from the moment you stepped foot inside.
Your brother and Carlos were like one person in two bodies, so you almost expected him to get his two cents in when he stepped in behind you and closed the door; Eyes roaming around and taking in the place. His face gave nothing away, as always, but then his brown eyes landed on you and his lips twitched.
“I like it.” He said, like you’d asked.
You gave a nod, secretly pleased but then you scolded yourself because why the fuck did you even care what he thought? Mierda.
“Glad to know you approve.” You muttered, annoyance pricking your heart and you didn’t know why. “Make yourself comfortable, I’ll just be a minute.”
You left him to his own devices, standing in the middle of the living area looking a little lost while you sought out the comfort of your bedroom. The door closed with a click and you hurriedly changed your clothes to something more comfortable, snatching your makeup wipes where they’d fallen on the floor to wipe at your face. Your makeup was smudged, embarrassingly so but you couldn’t bring yourself to care when your heart was racing a mile a minute, thinking of the man on the other side of the door.
There was a moment of panic where you felt that shit, you shouldn’t have invited him in because this apartment was the only place he hadn’t touched, soiled with his fake promises and lies.
The memories of you in his bed came back with full force, thinking of how you’d woken up in the middle of the night with a smile on your face that got wiped as soon as you touched the cold side of his bed. He’d been nowhere to be found, and you’d contemplated staying and hoping that he’d come back in the morning but then you’d found his contract on the kitchen counter and the packed suitcases you’d somehow skimmed over when you were wrapped up in him.
It had felt like a gut punch and it still did as you stared at yourself in the mirror, swallowing against the nausea swirling up from your stomach to your throat. Your eyes welled with tears, and you gave yourself a moment to silently cry before you wiped angrily at your eyes, reaching for your toothbrush.
You thought back on your younger self, how she’d been so happy to have finally caught the eyes of her brother’s best friend. After years of pining and hoping that he’d see her as something more than his sister. How he’d once wiped a thumb under her eye when she’d first started experiencing with makeup in her teenage years, and he’d softly said that you don’t need so much of it. You’re beautiful, nena.
You deserved better, but you didn’t know what better was. Was it in the arms of a man or the bottom of a shot glass? It was a terrifying revelation, to realise how fucked up your life had become and it was all your fault.
Closure. That was what you needed, wasn’t it? But you didn’t want to move on from him, because despite it all, you still loved him.
Carlos had his back to you when you came out of your room, staring hard at the frames on the wall and you briefly wondered if he noticed how you’d deliberately left out the pictures with him.
“I remember this day.” He said quietly without looking at you. His finger pointed at a framed picture of you and your best friend, at an animal sanctuary with your hands stretched out, feeding a giraffe. “You were so happy to finally see giraffes, no one could pull you away from them.”
You wanted to smile at the memory, but it was hard when emotion was still clogging up your throat. You embraced yourself and sat down on your sofa, making a small hum of acknowledgement instead. Carlos turned around at that, sweeping his eyes across the small area before settling on you.
“Things change.” You said, because they really did.
“Sí.” He sighed, taking a seat in the ottoman. The seat furthest away from you, you noted. “I have that picture in my driver’s room. Not that one, but a similar one where you’re by yourself.”
You knew what picture he was referring to and it made you frown. Why would he confess to that?
“Why?” You asked, because that was the question, wasn’t it? Why, why, why?
Carlos inhaled through his nose, biting the inside of his cheek.
“Reminds me of how simple life used to be.” He said, like it answered the million questions in your head.
You didn’t ask him to elaborate, because you didn’t want to hear it. It must’ve been difficult to lead such a fast paced life, hopping from one country to the other and spending hours on driving cars. You’d imagine that it got a little too much at some point, rendering you homesick and yearning for a simpler life. But it didn’t work like that. Life rarely went the way you wanted it to.
“Why are you really here, Carlos?” You asked, the question so sudden that it cut through the false sense of security the both of you had managed to build.
He stared at you, eyes unmoving and it was so unnerving that you looked down in your lap, pulling the sleeves of your sweater over your hands.
“I miss you.” He said, and you barely managed to hold in the scoff. Barely. “I miss us.”
“There was no us.” You interjected, spitting the word out like it was venom.
It might as well have been because Carlos hands curled into fists where they stayed in his lap, something he always did to reel his frustration in. Somehow, that angered you. You weren’t the one who walked out. You weren’t the one who left him behind.
“I kno—“
“No, you don’t!” You hissed, fury finally unfurling in your chest. “El problema es usted no sabe mi dolor o mi vacío. You just walk back into my life like I’m supposed to welcome you with open arms.”
Your breathing was picking up, chest heaving with the lack of air you were heaving in and it did nothing to stop the pricks of tears in your eyes as you raised your head to glare at him. Carlos looked taken aback, hands slack from the previous fists and his eyes looked… Sad. Regretful. It was so pitiful that you couldn’t help but laugh wetly and humourlessly, bringing a sleeved hand to wipe at your nose.
“I don’t know what to say.” He admitted after a painful silence.
You looked away, sniffling as tears started falling traitorously, tracking your cheeks and you hated yourself for it. The last thing you wanted to do in front of Carlos was cry, but it seemed like your heart disagreed.
“I don’t know what you want from me.” You said, quietly. “You’ve already had me and it wasn’t enough.”
“It was enough.” His voice was more forceful than you expected, making your stomach drop. “It is enough. The fault was never with you, it was me.”
“Cállate.” You shook your head. “Don’t do the it’s not you, it’s me bullshit.”
Carlos sucked his teeth in exasperation.
“You know I’ve always loved you, nena.” He said and it made you look up.
Love? For a moment, your heart stopped beating in your chest as hope flared in every crevice of your body. But you reeled it in just as quick, because if he called fucking and dumping love, then you were better off. You might’ve been damaged but you still recognised that you deserved better.
“I don’t know.” You set your jaw. “You have a funny way of showing it, if you do.”
He sat up in the ottoman, ignoring the groan of protest it gave under his weight. The both of you stared at each other for a second and it felt like the longest hour of your life.
“That night…” He began, trailing off like he wasn’t sure how to put his thoughts into words. “Nena, I didn’t do anything that I regretted, and I still don’t. The only thing I regret is leaving you the way I did because you deserve so much better.”
Something wet touched your throat and you hurried to wipe at it, realising that tears were still rolling down your face. It irked you.
Carlos sighed heavily, like the conversation was too much to bear and you agreed with that sentiment, for once.
“Then why did you? Leave?” Your voice was quiet, broken and you hated the sound of it.
Carlos pulled a small face like it pained him to hear you so broken down, and it sent a small zip of satisfaction through you. You wanted him to hurt like you’d hurt.
“Because I was scared.” He confessed. “I was scared about everything. Your brother, this new life that I got pushed into. It was too much and I was panicking that night. I just wanted to feel normal again.”
“So… you slept with me and left?” You laughed bitterly.
Carlos cut you a stern look that still, to this day, shut you right up. He’d always had the face for it, the round and wide dark eyes and the bushy eyebrows. He could look intimidating when he wanted to, not that he ever scared you but you knew when to shut up.
“No. I sought you out because you were the only person who feels safe, who feels like home.”
He said feels. Not felt. So did that mean you still felt like home to him? You weren’t sure what to think or believe, feeling nauseous and lost all of a sudden.
“I realise that I went about it completely wrong.” He continued when you still hadn’t spoken. “I have a lot of regrets in my life, nena. But leaving you in my bed is the biggest of them all.”
The confession felt heavy, riddled with underlying emotions and confessions that you weren’t really ready to confront nor unpack. It was exhausting, all this new information invading your every sense and Carlos must’ve sensed how overwhelmed you’d suddenly become, because he palmed the tops of his thighs and sucked his teeth.
“Do you wanna get out for a bit?” He asked and you raised your eyebrows in slight bewilderment.
“It’s two in the morning.” You replied slowly and that prompted a smile from Carlos.
The sight of it was so unexpected and beautiful that it felt like a sucker punch, making you look away before you started staring.
“That never stopped you before.”
Before. Before when you’d sneak out of the house with your girlfriends to meet up with other friends and go to the most obscure parties. And Carlos would always be the one to catch you in the act, whenever he stayed over the house. He’d never berate or rat you out, just smirk and tell you to stay safe. To call if you ever needed him.
“Fine.” You relented, standing up and making your way over to the hallway. “Do you have a car?”
“Yeah, I parked it not too far from here.” He regarded you silently when you reached for your shoes, slipping them on. “Are you going to go out like that?”
It didn’t sound judgemental, only curious and that’s why you shot him an amused stare instead of picking up a fight out of annoyance.
“Yes.” You said, short and sweet.
He gave you a long stare before nodding, and that was that.
Fifteen minutes later and you were sitting in the passenger seat of a Ferrari, speeding down the deserted highway. There was no clear destination in either of your minds, but you cracked open the window and let the wind whip your hair, closing your eyes for a moment.
The radio was playing quietly in the background, almost drowned out by the roar of the engine, but it was comforting all the same.
Carlos hadn’t said a word since he started the car, only hitting you with a do you want seat warmers on? to which you’d shook your head. But he was good company, silent and comforting, just like he used to be.
“I love this song.” You said softly when the voices on the radio drifted off, the familiar tunes of Lovers Rock filling the relative silence.
Carlos didn’t say anything, just reached a hand out to turn the sound up a few bars, shooting you a glance that you felt in your core. It was amazing how he still made you feel like that, like someone had reached down your throat and fisted your heart violently. It was a sickening feeling, one that was so addicting and dangerous but you still yearned for it.
You were still mad at him, but you could also see a clearer picture now that he’d given you his side of the story and apologised. It wasn’t that you forgave him - that would take time - but you weren’t holding a grudge as strong like before.
It was hard though, to not acknowledge how he still made you feel like the wide eyed teenage girl who’d once saw the stars and moon in his dark eyes, who’d feel sick with love and admiration for him.
Because love can burn like a cigarette,
and leave you alone with nothing.
There was an irony to the lyrics, one that seemed to fit your current life like a glove. Carlos cleared his throat.
“Are you hungry?” He asked, breaking the silence.
Your stomach still felt unsettled from the drinks you’d had and from him showing up and upending your life, so you shook your head in the negative and turned your head to look at him.
“No, thank you.” You whispered.
Carlos didn’t take his eyes off the road and you took the chance to look at him, taking in the sharpness of his jaw and his strong nose. His hair was longer than last time you saw him, floppy and soft without any product in it and it should’ve annoyed you how beautiful he looked. Like something straight out of a romance movie.
There were a slight shadow under his eyes though, looking a lot like a person who carried the weight of the world on their shoulders and you fisted your hands in your lap to avoid reaching out to swipe a thumb over the bags of his eyes. You’d been so swept up in your anger that you’d failed to realise that Carlos was probably hurting just as much, he just couldn’t show it or self-destruct.
“Estás mirando, nena.” His voice, paired with the pull of his mouth made you look away.
Warmth spread all over your body when you realised that you’d been caught staring, for far too long to play it off.
“Where are we going?” You asked, in desperate need to change the subject and Carlos noticed it, because his nose flared as he tugged his bottom lip between his teeth; Like he was trying to hold his smile off.
“La playa.” He said.
The air had chilled considerably when you stepped out of the car, the wind whipping your bare legs and you pulled your sweater over your hands to find some comforting warmth as you gazed out over the beach.
It was dark, completely deserted even by the boardwalk and it was perfect for you, not in the mood to run into anyone who might know the man who was currently walking a few steps behind you.
The sand found its way into your shoes but you paid it little to no mind as you hurried your steps to the shoreline, far enough that the water wouldn't reach you, but close enough to hear the ominuous sounds of crashing waves.
"It's cold." Carlos said and you turned around, taking in the scrunch of his nose as he glanced around.
"Es perfecto." You said, waiting until Carlos looked over at you to give him a tentative smile. There was something in his face that changed at the sight of your open and vulnerable expression, but you didn't stop to think too hard on it.
Instead, you reached for your oversized sweater and pulled it clean off your head, ignoring Carlos' sounds of mortified and confused protest. His voice climbed in octaves when you kicked your shorts off, toeing your shoes away before you began walking backwards toward the ocean.
"Ay, what are you doing?" He asked, taking a step forward like he wanted to stop you. "You're gonna get sick!"
You ignored him, only breaking eye contact when the current carried up the shore, frothy water licking your calves and it was so cold that you felt it in your entire being. A sharp gasp left your lips, but you were determined to get a dip in just to clear your head.
It had been a long night, and getting sick was the last thing on your mind as water enveloped you.
Carlos watched silently, though his heart was pounding against his ribcage whenever he lost sight of you for a mere second. You'd always emerge from the water, smiling like you were in your own world and that's probably what stopped him from stalking right over and yank you out of the bed of water.
You looked so free, the complete opposite of how you'd looked the entire night and he selfishly didn't want that look on your face to diminish. Granted, you weren't smiling out of joy nor were you directing it at him, but the burden on your shoulders looked a little lighter when you finally started walking out of the water.
He tried hard not to stare at your body, the skimpy lingerie doing absolutely nothing to hide the most private parts of you. Carlos didn't know if he was just imagining things, but you'd truly grown into yourself since he last saw you.
You were shivering when you reached him, arms embracing your upper body like they were going to provide the warmth you needed to not send yourself into shock. He shrugged his jacket off without thinking when you hurriedly redressed in your sweater, water still dripping down your hair and body.
Carlos was ever the worrier, sitting you down on the sand and draping his jacket around your shoulder. You didn't protest, happily accepting it with a stuttered thank you that had his chest squeezing.
"You've always been good at surprising me." Carlos said when a few minutes had passed. He smiled when you gazed at him, trying not to react when you shifted and accidentally bumped your thigh against his.
You pulled away slightly, looking out into the darkness.
"How long are you staying?" You asked, quietly and slowly like you weren't sure if you wanted to hear the answer.
You knew realistically that he couldn't stay, he wouldn't. Carlos had a whole other life to live and a job to tend to, but you'd foolishly believed that maybe he'd stick around.
Carlos had a crease between his eyebrows that told you otherwise though, and you knew what was coming out of his mouth before he even said the words.
"Two days." He replied quietly, the sound almost getting swallowed up by the rushing waves in the distance. "I'm supposed to be in Italy by now but I wanted to see you."
You smiled despite yourself, a small graze of the lips that had Carlos inhale through his nose.
"I'm glad you came." You confessed out loud, the very same words you'd been scared to utter for the past hour.
Now they were out in the open, and Carlos was staring at the side of your head like he'd maybe heard wrong.
"Me too." He said softly, watching you shift as a breeze blew by.
Your thigh grazed his and this time, you didn't move away, letting the warmth of your flesh seep through his jeans.
"I'm sorry for everything." Carlos pulled a leg up to rest his cheek on the knee, head turned towards you. "I wish I could take it all back."
"I know." You said quietly.
You looked at each other in silence and you took in the slope of his nose and the tanned skin. The apples of his cheeks were a little sunburnt, lips dry but oh so full and inviting. You stared at them, thinking back to how they'd tasted that one fateful night.
Carlos cheeks went a little pink at your scrutiny and you quickly looked away, feeling yourself flush warmth all over at being caught staring so obviously.
"Come with me." He said and you blinked, confusion marring your face when you turned back to look at him. "To Italy. Just to get away for a bit. You can meet my friends and watch me race."
You hesitated, feeling lost all of a sudden because you weren't sure if you were ready for it yet. But a small part of you wanted to go with him, to let go of this life of destruction you'd managed to envelop yourself in.
Carlos hesitantly touched your hand that you had in your lap, fingertips against the palm of your hand and that one small touch was so electrifying that you filled your belly with air, holding your breath until it hurt your chest before exhaling.
"Charles has a girlfriend who I think you'd get along with well. She’s very much like you." He continued, sounding an awful lot like a salesman and it made you smile. “You’d love her, I think.”
You didn't know who Charles was, but the name rang a bell and you took a shot in the dark that it was his teammate.
"I probably would." You replied slowly and Carlos pinched eyebrows relaxed a tad bit when you finally broke your silence, like your silence had built some anxiety. "Can I think on it? I just —"
"Yes." He interrupted you, like he completely understood. "You don't have to explain yourself. I'll be around for two more days so you can take your time."
You thought about your brother, wondering if he knew what had spiralled that night before Carlos left to start his career. Did he have a hunch or did Carlos tell him? All you really knew was that your brother had flown out plenty of times to attend races, so you knew that they were still in contact, and by the looks of it, good friends. He’d invited you along the first few times, only stopping when your polite no’s had turned into snapping.
“What are you thinking about?” Carlos voice brought you out of your thoughts and you realised he’d been looking at your face the entire time, trying to read your thoughts when your eyebrows furrowed.
“Does he know?” You asked and Carlos looked confused for exactly two seconds before his eyebrows smoothed out, a humourless smile twitching his lip as he gazed out at the ocean in front of you.
He pulled up both legs, resting his forearms on his knees and clutching his hands together.
“Yes.” He said and your stomach dropped a little. “He came to a race in Miami a year ago and I felt… guilty. He was talking about how you should come to a race sometime and how concerned he was for you.”
Your eyebrows jumped. Your brother knew. How much did he know? He hadn’t even brought it up with you, not once.
“I told him.” He let out a laugh with no real joy behind it. “He punched me, called me a motherfucker and left.”
Your mouth gaped open as you took in the new information, eyebrows raised so high that you were scared they’d get stuck in your hairline but you couldn’t bring yourself to relax.
You had never really been that close to your brother, close enough to spend some time in the same circle of friends whenever it was called for but you weren’t sit down and talk about your feelings close. It shouldn’t have surprised you that he hadn’t reached out to you and spoke to you about how you’d fucked his best friend, but he hadn’t treated you any different the past year. He still called and texted to check on you, expressing his worry whenever you gave him the old I’m fine reply. Now you knew why he’d been so gentle with you.
“I deserved it.” Carlos said after a stretch of silence, looking at you.
It made you sad for him then, and a little ashamed of yourself that you’d never stopped to consider how Carlos had felt in all of this. You’d always thought that he ran because he couldn’t deal with turning you down gently, but looking at him now? He was clearly struggling as well.
“You didn’t.” You said and Carlos pulled a face like he didn’t believe you. “I’m just a little horrified that my brother knows I slept with his best friend.”
The both of you smiled at each other.
“It’s not his business, anyway.” Carlos said, leaning his weight to one side so he could bump his shoulder against yours. “Just you and me, ¿verdad?”
“Sí.” You smiled like the words he was saying didn’t turn your stomach inside out.
Carlos looked straight ahead, and you scooted closer to him with a shiver, still cold and wet. He didn’t even hesitate to put his arm around you when your sides pressed together, leaning your head against his shoulder and basking in his warmth when a breeze blew by.
Your stomach was doing somersaults, twisting with nerves and a sense of giddiness and you really hoped that he couldn’t hear the harsh pound of your heart against your rib cage when he turned his head to press a kiss to the crown of your head.
“Te amo, nena.” He whispered, faint and intimate but it still felt like he’d reached into your bones and rattled them with a violent shake.
Hearing the quiet love confession come from his mouth stunned you, hope blooming in your chest as you picked your head up to take a look at his face. He was close, so close, and the inviting pout of his lips made it all the more difficult to resist pressing your lips against them.
Carlos inhaled sharply through his nose when you grazed your lips against his, a whisper of a touch that electrified you to the core. The arm around you tightened, pressing you closer as your noses brushed.
“Kiss me.” You whispered and Carlos did exactly that.
The press of his lips made you warm all over, hands coming up to clutch his hoodie when he pried your lips open; the touch of tongues making you push harder. It felt a lot like coming home, like universe had aligned itself, and you basked in the feeling of it all.
“Nena.” Carlos murmured when the kiss reached its end, lips touching yours as he spoke. He pushed his forehead to yours, eyelashes laying so pretty on the tops of his cheeks as he closed his eyelids. “I want you, I’ve wanted you for years. But maybe we should take things slow.”
You nodded, though you couldn’t resist stealing another kiss that he was all too eager to respond to. A groan rumbled in his chest when you placed both hands on his wide shoulders, letting him guide you to lay down on the sand.
It wasn’t as dark as it had been when you first arrived, but the faint light cast an almost beautiful shadow to his face as he hovered above you. His eyes were dark pools, staring into yours while his hand brushed wet strands of hair from your face. He crooked them behind your ear, cupping your cheek to bring you up for another kiss that had you whimpering for more.
Take things slow. Wasn’t two years enough? How much longer were you supposed to wait?
Carlos must’ve shared that sentiment, trailing his lips down your jaw to your throat in sucking kisses. He licked your skin, tongue warm against your flesh as he tasted the saltwater and you squirmed at the touch.
“Need you, Carlos.” You murmured when he pulled away.
He laughed breathlessly like he couldn’t believe the words you were saying, a hand travelling down your body with his eyes fastened on yours. You didn’t even dare to blink, staring at him until his hand found its way into your shorts and underwear, brushing his finger against your clit. Your eyelids fluttered shut, mouth going slack when he swiped his fingers through the mess of wet, bringing them back to circle your clit.
You grabbed him with terse hands, gasping and moaning while he brought you to a quick climax. It was sudden and fast, absolutely earth shattering when you climbed up to the edge and toppled right over. Carlos silenced your moans with his mouth, not kissing, just slotted over yours as he stole your breath and sounds.
“You sound beautiful, nena.” He murmured, fingertip nudging your sensitive clit just to see the way your mouth dropped open in a shivered gasp. “Missed that look on your face.”
“Carlos.” Your voice sounded pleading, hand sliding to the back of his head to bury your fingers in his hair. “Want you right now. Please.”
He let out a shuddered breath, pulling his hand out of your shorts to unbutton his jeans and zip them down far enough to fish himself out. You struggled to not stare down between the two of you as you kicked your shorts and panties off, marvelling in the sounds he made as he spit in his hand and jacked himself off; slicking himself up generously.
There was a moment where you looked at each other, unblinking and silent. His cock slid against you, slicking himself up further before his head caught where you were clenching in anticipation. It was stupid and reckless, to not use protection and to even do it so publicly but you needed him.
You couldn’t wait for another hour, and neither could he, judging by the way he slid inside with a gasped breath. Your eyes clenched shut as the intrusion locked your body up, finding comfort in his hands as he brushed your face and pressed kisses to it. You relaxed, feeling the girth of him stretching you out the further he pushed inside.
It had been a while since someone had stretched you to your limits like he currently was, but you were eager to feel every inch of him and you made it clear by wrapping your arms around him, spreading your legs further like an invitation.
Carlos let out a breathless laugh, pushing his lips against yours in a loving kiss and you lost yourself in it as he began thrusting. He hit you deep, kissed your spot with the head of his cock and the coarse hair of his groin rubbed deliciously against your clit.
It wasn’t romantic, not something you’d see in movies, but it was intimate and perfect for you. He conveyed so much in the movement of his hips, eyes stuck on you like he didn’t dare to look away in fear of missing every twitch and movement of your face.
You got a hand between the two of you, moaning and gasping when your second orgasm crept up on you. It made your head spin, how fast you’d been brought to the edge yet again and you clenched around him, screaming out your climax. Carlos wasn’t far behind, all kinds of curses streaming from his lips as he pulled out and came on your lower abdomen.
The stark contrast of his warmth against your cool skin made you shiver, still struggling to come down from your high. Carlos let out a drawn out groan that screamed of sudden exhaustion, grabbing the sleeve of his jacket to wipe the come off your skin before he dropped down; Half on top of you and half on the sand.
“Where are you staying?” You asked, voice a little raspy from how dry your throat was.
“My parents house.” He replied, eyes taking in the slope of your nose and the pout of your bitten raw lips.
You turned your head to smile at him, eyes fluttering as he pushed forward to kiss your mouth.
“You can stay with me.” Your voice was timid, a little shy and it made Carlos smile.
“Bueno.”
Carlos’ hand found your collarbone, stroking the pads of his fingers against the raised bone. His eyes caught on the glimmering necklace around your throat, heart stopping for a split second when the pendant caught the light and he realised what he was looking at.
The number 55 was staring up at him, so small but so glaringly obvious that he wondered how he’d failed to notice it.
You must’ve sensed his body language shift, eyes flicking over his face where it remained unmoving.
“I wanted to keep you close to my heart.” You whispered and it was like gospel to Carlos’ ears. “I never stopped loving you.”
His eyes flicked up to yours, face softening even more.
“Neither did I.”
He thought of the years he’d lived through without you, thinking of the missed time and opportunity he could’ve had with you if he had just picked up the phone. But it didn’t matter now.
Carlos gazed at your face, at the stars reflected in your eyes, and made a vow to himself to never let you slip away again.
my glasses are always dirty but it's fine. i've seen enough.