HELLO?!?! Beautiful.

I’ve said it before and I’m going to have to say it again. MAKE 👏 YOUR 👏 FICS 👏 MORE 👏 INCLUSIVE

Or at least tag them as reader-specific

We don’t all have blue eyes or blonde hair. We’re not all super petite. We are all different!!!! And you need to make an effort to stop excluding.

congrats on 5k queen! you’re writing is so brilliant beyond belief and you deserve all the love and support this site has to offer. can i request lando+angsty smut (the best combo)…prompts along the lines of “i don’t think im ever going to love anyone the way i love you”//“i don’t think i want to love anyone else”

how did it end?

ln x famous fem!reader

in which it ends, until…

i love this fic with my whole heart. thank u sm for this request, anon, and for being so absolutely for gorgeous and kind <3 kicking off the 5k celebration with a big, sad, sexy bang! lemme know what you think, hugs n kisses

songs to set the mood: how did it end? by taylor swift

warnings: 18+!! minors dni!! smut, angst angst angst, fluff, happy ending! exes to lovers, just. a lot going on. sad!lando, sad!everyone, so many feels, r is a big deal model, alcohol consumption, mentions of smoking

4.1k words

one gasp, and then…

“how did it end?” the woman strokes your arm, soothing, tentative.

you don’t know her all that well, she’s signed to the same agency as you, you see her in the halls sometimes and sit next to her in makeup chairs.

you stare blankly at her, registering. news travels fast apparently.

you smile, small, fake, tilting your head to the side. you mumble something about different schedules, timezones, right person, wrong time. she watches your face intently, with sympathy. you want to throttle her. she’s being kind and you despise her for it right now.

“i won’t tell anyone.” she affirms, her fingers still smoothing over the skin of your arm.

yes you will, you think. all of her friends, the rest of the building will know exactly what you’ve told her by the time you get to your meeting. you don’t begrudge her, though, that’s the nature of the industry.

“well, it was good to see you.” you nod, even go in for a quick hug, and then you speed away, beelining for the elevator. the ride is short, your managers office somewhere on the third floor and you shuffle down the corridor, ready to be informed of what your life will look like for the next three months.

fittings, shoots, paris trip.

mhm.

swimwear season, charlotte tilbury, meeting with the vogue journalist.

cool.

week off, few days in london, monaco grand prix.

no.

“what? no.” you splutter. out of habit, you reach for a necklace, frown when you realise it’s no longer there.

“what do you mean, no?” she narrows her eyes at you.

“i can’t go to the race. no.”

“girl, i love you, but did i ask?”

“you know i can’t-“

“you won’t have to see him.” she reasons.

“but what if i do? he’s obviously gonna be there, and the events before and after- no. no.”

“lando norris is not gonna be the end of you.”

you stifle a laugh, one that sounds more like a strangled cry.

what if he already was?

-

look who we ran into at the shops,

walking in circles like he was lost

lando stares at the shampoo.

specifically, the one you use. used. he can’t be too sure anymore, he supposes.

he’d popped out for a loaf of bread, about an hour ago. he didn’t want to acknowledge how long he’d been staring at the women’s toiletries section.

you seemed to live on, everywhere. lando could see you in his apartment, the passenger seat of his car, the back of the garage. even the fucking supermarket wasn’t safe. you were very much alive, moving on with life, and yet you haunted him like he’d killed you himself.

perhaps he had, in a way.

the basket grazes the outside of his leg.

that’s the shower gel he’d buy for you, the one you only used when you stayed with him in monaco.

there’s the tampons you asked him to buy, crying back at home on your- his bed.

oh, and there’s the shampoo that you made him buy, the one that you told him made his curls feel extra fluffy when he was between your legs-

“lando?” a voice calls, drawing lando out of the mist.

“oh, alex. hey.” lando croaks. he hasn’t noticed the lump in his throat until now. he clears his throat, running a hand through his hair.

“what you doing, mate?” alex asks, eyebrows furrowed. he scans lando’s face, puffy eyes, watery.

“shopping.”

“for women’s shampoo?”

“no, no, just… looking.” lando stutters.

“when was the last time you slept?” alex’s voice is laced with concern, apprehensive. he doesn’t know what to say to his heartbroken friend.

lando smiles weakly.

“i’ve been sleeping.”

alex sighs.

“okay, when was the last time you slept properly, then?”

lando’s shoulders visibly sag.

“about a month ago.”

-

we hereby conduct this post-mortem

“we can’t do this anymore.”

the words fall from your lips in a whisper, but they reach him like you’ve screamed them at him. he sits opposite you, in the arm chair, so far away, only a metre or so.

“i know.” lando breathes shakily.

“i don’t want this but…”

“yeah.”

it’s been such a good year. you’re in love. it’s not enough. there’s too much distance, too many outsider opinions, too much longing for someone who’s on the other side of the world.

he’ll be in london. you’ll be in brazil.

he’ll be in australia. you’ll be in amsterdam.

it’s too much.

“i love you, though.” you remind him meekly.

“don’t know how to not love you.” he sniffles.

your heart shatters, the pieces flying over the room, spilling across the floor. they mix with the splinters of his, painting the room red. all you feel is blue.

you cry in his arms when he takes you to bed, his own tears spilling over your collar bone when he buries his head in your neck, licks over the marks he’s left there. to remember me by, he’d muttered dryly.

when you’re both finished, he lays there for a moment, still on top of you. damp with sweat and tears, the taste of one another still lingering on your tongues.

“how is it possible that i miss you already?” he pants, lips grazing just below your ear.

“i get it, lan. i’ve been missing you for a while.”

you’re gone when he wakes up.

and so, a touch that was my birthright became foreign

-

come one, come all

it’s happening again

the empathetic hunger descends

there are about six cameras pointed at you when he asks the dreaded question.

you’re in new york, sat on a talk show hosts sofa, lit by stage lights and his inquisitive eyes. two hundred people sit in the audience, on the edge of their seats waiting for you to spill your secrets.

“so, what happened there, with lando?”

you plaster on the fakest smile to date, crossing your legs anxiously.

“we’re both just so busy, you know? he’s doing amazing things in f1 and i’m all over the place with work.”

“we love both of you over here, it was sad to hear.” he sympathises, adjusting his tie and leaning back in his chair. his fingers drum over the wood of his desk, waiting for more.

vultures. everyone is a vulture.

“and we still have a lot of love for each other. he’s a wonderful person.”

there are tears in your eyes and bile rising rapidly in your throat when you shake hands with the crew, the host, and retreat to your dressing room. you stumble into the en-suite and throw up. then, you fall onto the sofa and cry. you fix your makeup at godspeed and reply to the text from your team, inviting you to drinks at some rooftop bar, promising to meet them there. you punctuate the text with one too many exclamation marks, feigning excitement.

“we still have a lot of love for each other.”

translation: i can’t understand: how did it end?

-

lando watches your interview. of course he does. he watches everything that you do, watches the way you set the world on fire.

he can’t help himself where you’re concerned, like an addict craving the next hit. you look so pretty on tv, glowing. you look fine.

god, why do you look fine?

he hates himself for hating just how fine you look. he is not fine.

“he’s a wonderful person.”

your words ring in his ears. they anger him, because if he’s oh-so-wonderful, why aren’t you here? why isn’t he there with you, waiting backstage? why can’t you just hate him? why can’t he just hate you? maybe you will, if he shows you just how not wonderful he can be.

he gets drunk that night. forces max to hit the clubs with him. sticks his tongue down a pliant woman’s throat. doesn’t ask her name. let’s her invite him back to her place. it has to be her place, he can’t fuck someone else in your bed, the one you used to share. he leaves minutes after he’s pulled out. he’s sure she’s lovely, too good for him and his bitter fucking heart. he feels utterly disgusting.

lando goes home, scrubs his skin red, and then does it again. he doesn’t go to sleep, watches from his balcony as the sun begins to rise over the sea. he hikes to the highest point he can reach in monaco, where it’s quiet and there’s no one to judge him, or worse, sympathise with him.

he stands at the edge of the cliff. screams once, twice. he sits on a rock, and lets himself cry.

the deflation of our dreaming

leaving me bereft and reeling

my beloved ghost and me

sitting in a tree

d-y-i-n-g

-

your stylist is plying you with options.

you can wear the denim with the cream OR you could do the red and white? or we can go full glam! or! or! or! we could-

you drown her out. you don’t give a fuck. not a single one.

what you wear to the monaco grand prix is quite literally the least of the your problems. your biggest problem, of course, is that you have to go to the fucking thing.

visibility is important, get people talking! the words of your manager ring in your ears until you have a dull migraine brewing behind your ears.

you leave the fitting not entirely sure what you’re wearing, but your stylist will be sending the clothes over so you can pack.

when you land in all too familiar nice, there are cameras. when you get to the hotel in monaco, you and lando are already trending on twitter. well, at least he knows you’re coming. when you’re getting your makeup done before your first event, you get a text.

i’ll try and keep my distance.

try.

try is such an interesting word. the fact that he has to try to stay away makes your belly flutter with embarrassing, self loathing butterflies. don’t try too hard, you want to respond. you don’t.

should’ve told you i’d be here you shoot back.

you think i didn’t already know?

of course he knew. he’d probably asked god knows how many brands to invite you. you try and feign an illness but your team drag you kicking and screaming to the event.

-

there are no two ways about it: you’re drunk, on a tuesday night, somewhere in the principality. a few cocktails with a jewellery brand turned into a night on the town, bar hopping with people you hardly knew and barely recognised.

you’re shaking your ass in jimmy’z, pretending to have fun when you see him.

lando stands at the bar, watching you, jaw tensed, eyes solemn. you exit the club faster that his car down a back straight, stumbling into the smoking area. you bum a cigarette from a guy who tries really hard to convince you that he’s the son of a british lord, and sink into the corner, ignoring the people recording you.

depressed model shame smokes outside monaco club because she is fucking pathetic, the headlines will read.

“thought you quit that shit.” his voice washes over your body like you’ve been set on fire, smooth tone, ambiguous accent making you ache.

“i did but then i got forced to come to monaco, so.” you shrug.

“forced?”

“‘m here for work.” you sigh.

“i guess i am too.” he mumbles. you raise an eyebrow.

“you live here, lan.” you tease. lan rolls off of your tongue too sweetly.

“doesn’t feel like it anymore.”

how can it, without you? he wants to scream at you. he can’t, you don’t deserve it.

“how are you?”

you want to touch him.

“shit.”

he needs a taste.

“yeah.”

you put your cigarette out. it tastes like shit, half smoked.

you stand there, stare at each other.

take me home, you want to beg.

come home, he clenches his fists, trying not to grab you and remind you how you’ll always be his, right here, up against the side of the club.

“good luck, if i don’t see you.” you whisper. you linger, praying that he’ll beg you to stay so that you can crumble into his arms, without having to make the first move.

lando ponders his options. his head and his heart wage a war.

logic wins, unfortunately.

“thank you.”

you take that as your queue to get the fuck out of there, and disappear into the night.

-

it’s raining on sunday. the dreary weather seems to perfectly sum up what has been the worst week of your life.

you’ve seen your ex boyfriend more times than you can count, ended up with about four hangovers as a result, and with a pounding head, you have to sit in the paddock club and wait for the sound of engines to split your head in half. it was your own doing, so you’d suck it up, recognising that you were a disgustingly privileged bitch, and there are people who would sell their kidneys to do what you’re complaining about.

you never complain, not usually. but your heart hurts and your body hearts and your mind hurts and it’s just not fair. lando is gorgeous, and you miss him so badly, and your shoes are digging in. who the fuck thinks it’s a good idea to wear heels to an f1 race?

you see him before the race, mouth good luck from afar. he winks. it’s something you used to do before every race. old habits die screaming.

the rain falls harder, the track slick. you say a prayer and take your seat.

“norris has this in the bag, he’s bloody good in the wet.” you hear some old guy say behind you. you are cursed with the knowledge of just how good in the wet he is, and you end up flushed.

he wins. his second one in three races. you pray that no one notices the way you weep. everyone notices.

you make a mistake and rush for the podium, your pass giving you access. he graces the top step and you sob, grinning like a fool, soaked through with rain. the anthem plays, the champagne pops. he finds your eyes in the crowd. your hair falls, stringy and curled, mascara smudged. you are the most breathtaking sight. he stands still, washed with an onslaught of champagne, watching you like he’s scared to take his eyes off of you. his boyish grin and hopeful eyes render you weak - you’re there for him, after all - and he can’t help but bask in that little fact.

dangerous territory. you break, and disappear.

-

say it once again with feeling…

the photographers barely get a second to snap a picture of the top three, because lando is gone. he takes the stairs two at a time, descending from the podium and throwing his pirelli cap and a shaky apology at his pr rep. the adrenaline spike makes his blood rush; he needs to find you and stop you and tell you that he will never be able to stop loving you.

the exit is the natural assumption, and he nearly slips a thousand times as he sprints through the paddock. the ground is wet, but he figures that if his car made it, so can he. the gates are in sight, and so are you, your clothes sticking to your shivering frame.

he calls your name, thunderously travelling towards you, his voice hitting your ears like a sonic boom. you freeze, turn slowly until your facing him. the rain splashes around you, not letting up.

you’re within his reach, and he pulls you in, hugging you tight. you melt into him, clinging like he’s a life force. he inhales you, your scent that he’s missed so horrifically. you crumble, and so does he, pieced back together as one.

“i can’t do this, i can’t.” he kisses the words into the cold skin of your neck.

“no, neither can i.” you choke wetly with emotion.

“miss you too much. it’s too hard, it’s stupid, it’s-“

“wrong. it’s wrong. ‘m sorry.” your breath fans his face, breathing life into him, life that he’d lost four months ago.

he grabs your shoulders, lowering so that his eyes are level with yours. his curls fall over his eyes, sodden from the rain.

“i don’t think, no, i know: i’m never gonna love anyone the way i love you.” lando speaks slow, convincing. your chest is tight.

“i don’t want to love anyone else.” you croak, the lump in your throat making it hard to breathe.

“come back to me.” he mutters, pleading.

“don’t think i ever left.” you breathe, hushed.

your lips slot over his easily, it’s like breathing. the kiss is messy, helpless, and he engulfs you whole, his body wrapping around yours like a blanket. you latch onto his race-suit, drawing him in, and then you both seem to remember where you are.

lando norris caught kissing ex like horny teenager in monaco paddock!

you pull away with breathless chuckle. the air is fresh, and you feel alive. he steals another peck.

“wait for me at home. i’ll be quick.” his hand finds you ass, just for a second and you scold him playfully.

home.

yeah, home.

“don’t make me wait.” you grin.

his brain short circuits.

“do you still have your key?” he splutters, refocusing.

you scoff. “never took it off the chain.”

-

you pace the apartment, taking in the space. it hasn’t changed, but it’s messier, a visual representation of lando since you left. the pit of your belly swirls with anxiety, anticipation. he’ll be back soon, and he’ll kiss you, make love to you, remind you that you’re home and that it’d be stupid to leave again.

you’re still damp from the rain, shedding layers until you’re left in your vest and jeans, ridiculous heels kicked off by the door, your jacket airing over the back of a chair.

he hasn’t taken down the pictures of you together. he hasn’t moved your ugly collection of magnets from the fridge. he hasn’t changed the blinds that you chose, but he didn’t really like. your candles sit on the bookshelf half burned, the teddy he’d won you at a fair sits neatly on the sofa. the L pendant and it’s chain is strewn over the coffee table, right where you left it the morning after it ended. your breathing is heavy.

the front door opens behind you.

you don’t move, your eyes still fixed on the silver chain, overwhelmed by how empty your neck feels all of the sudden. he comes up behind you, his head resting on your shoulder, arms finding home around your waist. you often used to find yourselves in this exact position; while you brushed your teeth, made coffee. the room is deathly silent, breathing and the distant buzz of post race festivities the only thing you can hear. lando follows your gaze.

“kept it. knew that one day, you’d come back for it.”

“i came back for you.”

“and that necklace will stay with you when i can’t be there.”

you nod. he kisses your neck.

“missed you so bad.” you gasp. he licks your skin, bites down softly.

you spin in his arms, his hands pawing at your hips and everything blurs when he kisses you.

-

shaky fingers work over zippers, buttons, clasps, and then you’re both bare. you sink into the mattress that you missed so much, his body moulded with yours when you both tumble into the sheets. this is messy and frantic, utterly lovestruck. the lightning strike of his touch has you keening, sweating beneath him already.

“missed you. missed this.”

“do something, lan.” you cry, quiet against his shoulder.

“missed my perfect girl.” he grunts, lips working your chest while his fingers leave a trail of goosebumps over your inner thigh.

“please.” you sigh when his fingers dip between your folds, sliding over your wet flesh. his lip catches between his teeth, eyes fluttering shut at the feeling of you.

he thumbs at your clit, stroking over you in slow, firm swipes, and then he’s sinking a digit into you, slow and steady. your toes curl, tears pricking your eyes at the intrusion, but you don’t have much of a chance to adjust, a second finger joining the first. he fucks you full, the stretch of just two fingers making you whine, one hand threading into the sheets while the other slams over your mouth. you want to hide, the pleasure rendering you a mess across the pale grey linen.

“no, let me look at you.” lando rasps, spare hand tugging at your wrist. you whine, writhing when he curls his fingers. “why are you hiding?”

you can’t hold back the choked cry that sounds from the back of your throat, his palm bumping your clit as he grinds his fingers deep.

“gone shy on me, baby? where’s my good girl gone?” lando coos, moving so that he’s leaning over you. the angle change sends your legs flying, kicking out at the sweet torture. “‘s because you haven’t been fucked right in so long, hm? can’t remember how to behave?” he’s smirking down at you, scanning the changing lines of your face.

“need it, need-“ you stutter, the words dying on your tongue.

“words, pretty girl, words.” lando encourages, false sympathy dripping from his tongue.

“need to cum, want you to make me…” you trail off.

“was that so hard?” he tuts, and everything speeds up.

the sound of him working you so sweetly makes you shake, your thighs clenching tight around his hand. the wet squelch hits your ears and you blush, cheeks coloured deep with embarrassment, awe, desperation.

your mouth drops open, screaming silently when it hits, your thighs slick. you drip down his wrist, his hand covered in your release.

“there’s my girl.” lando sighs, diving down to kiss you hard.

you can feel the damp press of his fingers as they dig into your thighs and you squirm beneath him, finding your way into his mouth.

“fuck me.” you slur, teeth knocking with his. he swallows you whole, groaning into your mouth.

“not so shy now, hm? been dreaming of hearing you beg for it.” lando shudders, shifting between your legs.

you can feel the press of him, thick against your cunt and you wiggle your hips, pushing to meet him halfway. the stretch burns deliciously, and you grab at his shoulders, dragging him in.

“fuck, baby.” he breathes, sinking into you slowly. “feel like heaven.” disbelief coats his voice, like he can’t reconcile that this is real; you’re back here, his, in the bed you were always supposed to share.

“it’s so good. feel so good for me, lan.” you whisper, lacing your fingers through his hair.

“love you so much.” he kisses you like he means it, rocking into you with purpose.

“can’t believe i lived without this.”

“can’t believe you’re all mine.”

the release builds, every thrust reminding you of what you could have lost for good. there was no lack of love, in fact you were starting to wonder if you had loved each other too much before.

“never losing you again. can’t live without you. my beautiful girl.”

your tummy grows tight, and he finds your clit when he feels you clamp down on him. he pulls you through the pleasure, guides you to your orgasm and you blindly follow him. you’d follow him anywhere, you decide.

you tell him you love him when you let go, spilling all around him, warm. he’s panting, kisses your forehead gently. he rolls off of you, and you feel the slow drip instantly, but you curl into his side and he wraps around you.

home.

“promise me something.” he whispers. you feel the way he shakily inhales.

“hm?”

“don’t leave again. you belong here, too. with me.”

your eyes are watery.

“i’m staying. ‘m yours.”

“about that…”

lando springs from the bed, naked, disappearing from the room. you watch, confused, cold all of the sudden.

you can hear his footsteps padding through the hallway, and then he’s back, his figure in the hallway. he runs, jumps, lands gracelessly next to you. endeared, you laugh softly.

“sit up.”

you do, leaning up to sit next to him. his fingers skim your shoulder, pushing your hair out of the way. cool metal dances over your skin.

“back where it belongs.” lando smiles at you, eyes wide and stunning.

you toy with the L. something heals in your chest, right around where your heart is.

“the sweetest boy.” you shake your head in disbelief, grin up at him like a fool.

“bath?”

“you know me so well, noz.”

come one, come all

it’s happening again

-

oh, my heart. there is something deeply wrong with me

-

taglist

@boysthatgovroomvroom @welld0nebaku @thegirlinthefandoms @mcmuppet @japanesekel @vinvantae @ggaslyp1 @dr3lover @smiithys  @rachstash @infinitebells @fizzpopsnap101 @gaily19 @icecoldtires @mysticalnightenthusiast @thatchickwiththecamera @oyesmendes @disneydaydreameralways @canyouseethesainz @ferrarifwendvale @fcbformulaeri @tony-stank3 @maih23 @soleilgrec @carolineworld @anthonykatebridgerton @allywthsr @iamasimpingh0e @ophcelia @lovelynikol16 @coffeehurricanes @jennx03 @blueflorals @lqvesoph @sidcrosbyspuck @better-dead-than-smeg @buendiabebeta @pjofics @kovalcin @wintergilmore3 @for-writing-shit @youdontknowmeshh @im-an-overthinker @jule239 @darleneslane @jazzy722 @weasleyswizarding-wheezes @therealone4r @pleasecallmeunhinged @theonlyadrienne

---

Packing it Up

~Packing it Up by Gracie Abrams~

Author's Note: Requested! OKAY so here is this giant one shot that I have been working on for a while. it's been hyped up bc its SO long but there is no smut so if 20k words and no smut is not your cup of tea so sorry. There is bestie Jack and bestie Trevor in this as well Summary: Luke falls for Jack's best friend, Y/N. Warnings: swearing, a mini novela Word Count: 22,225 Luke Hughes x fm!reader

There was a time in her life that she thought she found the love of her life. He was her college sweetheart. It was the typical fall in love at college orientation and stick around for a while because you are in love. At least she thought she was in love with him.

Her family never liked him, thought that Henry was full of himself and never treated her right. Her childhood best friend Jack hated him. There was never a moment in his life that he was nice to Henry. Henry always said that it was because Jack was in love with her but that was not the case. 

Jack was never the type of guy to keep his feelings inside. If he had feelings for someone, he wouldn’t hesitate to tell them. Even if it was his childhood best friend, he would tell her no hesitation.

Jack never knew why he hated Henry, he just knew that something was not right with the guy. His suspicions ended up being correct when she came over to his apartment this past April.

Usually, she called. There was never a day where she would just show up at his door because who knows who would be inside of his apartment. But he was her best friend since they were six years old. But she couldn’t return to her apartment and she had nowhere to go. So, she ended up driving over an hour in late night traffic to his place. 

Raising her hand up, she knocked on the door a few times before she wiped her hands across her cheek. After several moments passed, the door was pulled open and Luke was standing at the door. 

“Y/N? What’s wrong?” he asked, scanning her features. Glancing up, she met his eye as her lips quivered. 

“Hey Luke,” she let out as her voice cracked as she spoke, “Is Jack here?” her voice got quiet. Luke nodded as he stepped aside, allowing her to walk inside the apartment. Luke took a sudden breath as shut the door behind her. “Congrats on the call up by the way,” she mumbled as she wiped a tear that fell onto her cheek. He forced a small smile on his lips.

“Thank you,” he paused for a moment as he looked over at her. “I’m gonna go grab Jack,” he mumbled as he walked down the hall towards Jack’s room. She stood awkwardly beside the dining table waiting to either get kicked out or hug her best friend. 

It only took a minute for Jack to emerge from the hallway. His eyes widened, his cheeks were flushed red and his hair was messy. His body was only covered with a pair of grey sweats as he walked towards her. Without hesitation, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against his chest. She wrapped her arms around the center of his back.

A sob left her throat as she buried her face in his neck. His hand glided up and down her back soothingly. 

A girl stormed past Luke, her hands were full of various clothing items as she practically flew out of the apartment. Luke stood awkwardly in the living room watching the pair. 

The door slammed shut and Y/N pulled away from him. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” she said through a sob. 

“Don’t ever apologize,” he mumbled as he pulled her against his chest again, “What happened?” he asked softly. 

“He’s been cheating on me with my roommate,” she mumbled against his chest. Jack shifted his gaze towards Luke, his entire body erupting in flames. “I can’t go home,” she let out. 

Y/N pulled away from Jack, glancing towards Luke; to see him fuming too. Looking into his eyes, he took a deep breath as he shook his head. “I’ll fucking kill him.”

After that, he helped her move out of her apartment. Luke and Jack both were there to help move all of her things to her new studio apartment. At every moment possible, Jack would slip in a snide comment of how awful of a person her roommate was for doing what she did. Luke was just at Y/N’s side the entire time, quietly comforting her while they packed.

Her new apartment was an even split between their apartment in New Jersey and her school at NYU. It was a lot easier for her to travel between the three places and she was grateful.

It worked out that her school year ended a month after her disastrous break up. She went back home in Michigan with plans to spend the summer with the Hughes and posse. Y/N needed the distraction and the Hughes’ lakehouse was always the perfect place to do that.

Constant sun, bikinis, and endless drinking. It was her favorite time of year, it was her form of therapy. Even when she was having an amazing year, all she wanted was time on that boat soaking up all of the sun she could.

But this year, she needed that time away more than anything. For obvious reasons and for the other things that were going wrong with her life. Her new apartment had a leak in it and half of her wardrobe was destroyed and her finals didn’t go to plan because she was too overwhelmed by the fact her boyfriend was cheating on her.

The information fell into her lap that her roommate and Henry had been hooking up behind her back for months. It was as if they took her heart and smashed it to the ground repeatedly.

Now, the wallowing was something she was putting on the back burner. There was only one plan on her mind and that was letting loose. On the drive to the lakehouse, she informed Jack that she was not going to behave one bit and he gave her full permission to do whatever the hell she wanted.

Well, his friends and siblings were off limits, she couldn’t do them but she could do whatever the hell she wants. It was the usual rules of the lakehouse trips, let loose and have fun. But it often led to Y/N babysitting the five boys that were with her. She never really minded it but this year she told the boys it was her turn.

Given the circumstances, no one was opposed to the idea. Jack, Luke, and Y/N were the first to arrive at the house. Jack was at the grocery store getting an overwhelming amount of groceries for the house. Five professional hockey players under one roof, they were going to need a lot of it. 

Y/N had already unpacked her suitcase in her room and had planted a spot on the giant couch in the center of the living room. She had a blanket covering her frame as she began to play the pilot episode of Grey’s Anatomy. A show none of the boys have attempted to watch, and she knew that at some point they would all get terribly invested.

Luke emerged from his bedroom on the second floor of the house, wearing a hoodie and sweatpants. “Hey,” he let out as he jogged the five steps towards the couch. Lifting her gaze, she smiled towards the youngest Hughes. 

Her family has been friends with his family since she could remember. She was the only kid that was actually close to the boys. All of her siblings were under the age of seven, so they usually looked up towards the Hughes boys as role models, more than anything.

“Hey Luke,” she said as she pulled her blanket up higher on her body. He sprailed out over majority of the couch. His head was laying on some of the leftover blanket beside her.

“What are you watching?” he asked while tilting his head back to meet her gaze. She looked down meeting his light eyes for a moment. 

“Grey’s,” she said as she tilted her gaze back towards the screen. He scrunched his features together as he looked towards the screen.

“I can’t believe you like this stuff,” he mumbled before he let out a long drawn out breath. She chuckled as she looked back towards Luke; his eyes were already on her.

“You can’t say anything until you actually sit down and watch an episode,” she mumbled. He smirked before he sat up slightly; pulling some of the blanket over his lap.

“Fine, catch me up,” he mumbled as he pointed towards the TV slightly. She giggled before she began to explain the fifteen minutes of the show. “Wait, so that guys her boss?” Luke mumbled as he pointed towards Derek on the screen. 

“Yep,” she said as she nodded dramatically. Luke shook his head as he blinked harshly.

After a few seconds, Jack busted through the front door carrying a lot of grocery bags. “Hey jackasses, a little help here,” Jack muttered as he walked past the giant couch towards the kitchen. Luke and Y/N met each other’s gaze for a second before they both jumped up from the couch to meet Jack in the kitchen.

While they were putting away groceries the other three boys arrived. They each dragged two giant suitcases inside, cheering loudly as they stepped inside. Y/N rested the boxes of pasta onto the counter as she excitedly walked out of the kitchen, the other Hughes boys followed quickly after her. 

Y/N smiled widely once she saw the eldest Hughes brother. “Hey Y/N, how are you feeling?” Quinn asked as he wrapped his arms around her. 

“Been better,” she said, a dry chuckle leaving her lips.

“Well that’s going to change because this is going to be the summer of your life, Y/N,” Trevor expressed as he held out his arms waiting for his hug. She smiled widely as she slipped away from Quinn towards Trevor. 

“Planning on it,” she mumbled as he wrapped his arms around her tightly. 

“That’s because we’re getting drunk off our asses every night,” Cole said with a teasing grin on his lips. She chuckled as she slipped away from Trevor towards Cole. He rocked her back and forth in a tight embrace. 

“Definitely planning on that,” she mumbled as she slipped away from Cole’s embrace. “Jack bought a lot of stuff, let’s get started,” she teased as she started stumbling backwards towards the kitchen again.

She was laying in bed in silence. She was staring at her ceiling, replaying every moment of her relationship with Henry. Her mind was trying to find the exact moment he decided she wasn’t worthy of him or love. The moment he decided that she wasn’t what he wanted anymore.

Y/N’s probably laid there for several hours at this point, the silence starting to drive her crazy but she couldn’t find anything to fill the silence. Or overtake the sound of her own thoughts. She wiped her hands across her cheeks as she took a deep breath.

Her phone vibrated beside her on the bed. Her lips fell into a pout as she reluctantly pulled her phone towards her face. She read a text from Jack telling her to unlock her door. 

A groan fell from her lips as she whipped the blanket off of her frame. She adjusted the loose shorts on her body as she brushed a few piece of nearly matted hair away from her face.

Pulling the door open, she was expecting to see Jack standing there but instead it was Luke. Her face scrunched together as she met his gaze.

“You are not the Hughes brother I was expecting,” she muttered as she stepped back.

Luke laughed as he forced himself inside. He held out a bag towards her, waiting for her to take it. She looked towards him suspiciously. He chuckled. “I was sent on a mission to retrieve you for the game tonight,” he let out.

Rolling her eyes, she took the bag and looked inside. From what she could tell it was a cute red long sleeve top. She closed the bag and placed it onto her counter. “I told Jack that I would watch the game from my apartment,” she mumbled as she suddenly felt very self conscious of how her appearance looks. 

“Well, I don’t think this is optional. I was told to drag you out of the apartment no matter what,” Luke explained as he scanned her frame, “And I think you want to change unless you want to show up like a homeless man,” he said teasingly.

Her eyes widened as she smacked her hand against Luke’s arm, “That is so rude, Lukey,” she said while shaking her head, a shocked chuckle fell from her lips. She turned her gaze towards the mirror against the wall and she took a deep breath, “And so true, oh my god,” she muttered while taking a deep breath.

“Are you doing okay?” he asked quietly. He scanned her body, noting that she probably was definitely not doing okay.

Tilting her head to the side she stared towards the floor. She pursed her lips forward, “I think I could use a reason to leave my apartment,” she mumbled. Lifting her gaze, she met his gaze. He smiled widely. “How much time do I have?” she said.

Luke glanced down towards his watch, “Game starts in like three hours and it’ll probably take like forty minutes to get to the arena with traffic,”

She nodded, “Okay, that’s barely enough time but I’ll figure it out,” she mumbled as she jogged towards her bathroom. He pulled his head back as he stared towards the bathroom door.

“Barely enough time?” he mumbled as he shook his head slightly. 

He heard the shower start and his gaze began to scan the studio apartment. It was a mess. Which was surprising because she was always the type of person to never have a spot of dirt in her apartment. He also had three hours to kill, so he walked towards the kitchen and began to clean her dishes.

She would either yell at him or be grateful, he didn’t know how she would react. But he was going to do it anyway. He connected his phone to her speaker and began to play his music. 

It took another forty minutes before she reemerged from the bathroom, her body was only covered by her towel. She stopped short, tilting her head to the side as she watched Luke from a far. Her kitchen was completely spotless and he was vacuuming her living area. Her studio apartment was small so he was practically vacuuming the whole place. 

He lifted his gaze, meeting her eye. He swallowed hard as he turned the vacuum off as he scanned her frame. “Is this okay? I’m sorry, I know how much you hate mess so I had time to kill and I thought that maybe–” 

“No, no, it’s okay. Thank you, Luke. This actually means a lot,” she explained as she continued to look into his eyes. His cheeks flushed red while he smiled softly. “This is really sweet actually,” she mumbled as tears started to form in her eyes. 

“Y/N?” he let out softly. 

She shook her head, “This is really nice and I can’t cry so I’m going to take some clothes and then–um– go back to getting ready,” she mumbled as she wiped her hand across her eyes. She walked towards the bed which had the bag of the new shirt; one of the brothers’ got her.

He chuckled, “Okay,” he mumbled before he turned on the vacuum again.

It took another hour and a half before she was officially ready. Luke was able to clean the entire apartment and have time to sit on her bed and talk with her while she was applying her makeup. 

“Hey Y/N,” he mumbled as he swung his legs back and forth in the air. She chuckled as she pulled the mascara wand away from her eye. She tilted her head to the side to meet Luke’s gaze. “Are you almost ready?” he sing-songed. She smiled softly towards him.

“Give me like five minutes,” she mumbled. He nodded as he pursed his lips forward. He glanced down towards his watch as he nodded. She shook her head slightly as she began to apply mascara to her eyelashes, “I’ll try and make it three,” she muttered. He smiled widely as he climbed off of the bed and began to pace back and forth. 

“Okay good. Yeah, okay,” he mumbled as he began to walk around.

She kept her promise and they walked out of her apartment side by side. “The top looks good on you,” he mumbled as he reached over and pressed the elevator button. She smiled to herself as she kept her gaze towards the floor.

“Thank you,” she mumbled.

“Come on,” he said with a wide grin, “I was thinking we could each get a popcorn and then we could–”

~~~

The other boys were drunk in the basement, laughing loudly as they continued a pool tournament. She never competed, usually she was the score keeper or Luke was the score keeper. But she was definitely too drunk to keep track of numbers. 

Jack hit the eight ball into the exact pocket he needed to. He lifted his drunken gaze and smirked towards the other boys. Scanning the room, he noticed that she was nowhere to be found.

“Where’s Y/N?” he asked, meeting each of the boys' gaze. They all shrugged.

“I’ll find her,” Luke offered as he got out of the tournament quite early. Jack nodded encouragingly before he wandered towards the chalkboard to add points to his tally. 

“Text me once you do,” Jack said as he drunkenly searched for Luke but he was already half up the steps.

Luke continued up the steps to see Y/N sprailed out on the large couch. Somehow taking most of it with all of the blankets and pillows surrounding her. He smiled to himself as he walked towards the couch. Pulling the blanket from her face, a drunken smile formed to her lips. 

“Little Hughesy,” she mumbled as she saw him walking towards her. His face scrunched up in disgust as he shook his head. He flopped down beside her forcing a gasp from her lips. “You ruined my masterpiece,” she whined as she watched him climb under a completely different blanket and rest his head on the bright pink pillow. He didn’t know when they even got a bright pink pillow but it was comfy so he didn’t care.

“You called me Little Hughesy,” he whined before he shifted his gaze towards the TV screen to see Grey’s Anatomy on the screen. He shook his head before he further adjusted the pillow beneath his head. “Haven’t been called that since I was nine,” he countered as he lifted his head to see her already looking towards him. 

“You will always be Little Hughesy,” she mumbled, looking into his eyes. “Even though you’re like huge.” He rolled his eyes while laughing as he continued to look over her features.

“Not huge,” he muttered before he looked towards the TV to see Meredith and Derek chatting in the stairway. “What’s happening?” he asked, referencing the show. Y/N’s lips fell into a pout as she looked back towards the screen.

“I will not explain everything you miss, you either sit and watch with me or don’t ask questions,” she explained while laughing. 

“Well tell me who’s that guy?” he pointed towards the screen again.

“You ask me another question and I’ll call you Little Hughesy forever,” she drunkenly explained, unsure if the words left her lips in a cohesive sentence. He rolled his eyes as he smirked. 

“I’m never going to get into this show,” Luke mumbled as he crossed his arms over his chest as he continued to stare towards the TV. Absolutely getting interested in the show. It was definitely interesting but he would never let it slip that he actually enjoyed it.

For the next hour the pair layed together, quite far apart, as they watched the show together. At certain parts, she would explain a few details he missed when he didn’t watch the few scenes. She knew that he wanted to know, so she gave him the information anyway.

The other boys remained in the basement, half drunk and half asleep on the beanbags. The first night at the lakehouse they usually all get drunk off their ass. But most of the nights afterwards, they tend to have at least one person sober adjacent. 

Which usually ended up being Y/N and she never really minded that before, but she wanted to be the one to let loose and not care. None of the boys objected and it was no problem for them.

She reached for the remote and she hit pause before she turned off the TV. Luke instantly sat up, “Hey, I was watching that,” he slurred out. Looking up towards him, she saw the blush across his cheeks. His hair was messily laid across his forehead.

“I’m going to bed,” she announced as she threw the three blankets away from her body. She stood up and began to pick up all of the blankets. A dramatic pout fell on his lips as he gripped the blanket that was covering his frame. 

There was already two blankets in her arms as she tried to reach for the one covering Luke. He pulled it back, nearly forcing her to fall on top of him. A loud giggle fell from her lips as she stumbled backwards. 

“Oh my god,” he let out while standing up. He kept the blanket in his hands as he fought the smirk forming to his lips. “Are you good?” he asked through laughter. 

A gasp fell from her lips as she wrapped her entire frame with the three blankets now in her grasp, Luke was still holding onto the one he was using. “You nearly killed me!” she said through a wide grin. 

“Well, let me at least help you as an apology,” he teased as he reached for one of the blankets she was carrying. Meeting his gaze, her smile softened as she continued to look into his eyes. He took the blanket from her. “Come on, I’ll tuck you in,” he teased. 

“Oh shut up, Little Hughesy,” she let out dramatically as she lead the way down the hallway. He gasped dramatically as they turned into her room. She placed all of the blankets in her arms onto the queen sized bed. Luke dropped the blankets onto the bed, looking towards her. He pursed his lips forward, teasingly. “You are not tucking me in, go away,” she said as she shoved him backwards.

He gasped as he raised his hand up and held it protectively over his chest. “Here I was trying to be nice and you shove me away. Rude, very rude actually,” he teased as he crossed his arms over his chest. Y/N squinted her eyes slightly as she fought off a grin.

“Goodbye Luke,” she said as she pointed towards the door. He smirked as he stepped out of the room, waving towards her. He shut the door behind him and she spun around and stared towards the door while taking a deep breath. Slowly, she sat down and continued to stare towards the door. 

~~~

The following morning, everyone was horribly hungover. Especially, the boys that remained in the basement were in a lot of pain. Their bodies were half on beanbags and half on the ground. Both Luke and Y/N were less damaged because they actually slept in their beds.

She was in the kitchen and making a full breakfast spread. She was already three homemade lattes deep and her hangover was practically gone. None of the boys have made an appearance beside stumbling up the stairs towards their rooms. 

Completely ignoring the fact that she was cooking. Mainly because she never cooked for them before. So they assumed it was only for her. Despite the fact that she was scrambling two full carton of eggs. She also used two packages of bacon and sausage, It was very obvious that it probably wouldn’t be enough. But she was trying to be kind.

She heard steps coming down the steps and a loud dramatic yawn. She spun around to see Luke walking down the steps with only a pair of black sweats covering his frame. She trailed his body with her sleepy gaze while he wasn’t looking. His hands were rubbing his eyes as he finished the steps.

Swallowing hard, she forced her gaze back down towards the giant pan in front of her. “Hey,” he let out as his voice was very hoarse. He walked towards the fridge pulling it open to grab something to drink.

“There’s coffee,” she mumbled as she pointed towards the coffee pot with her spatula. He shook his head as he pulled out the orange juice container. Her face scrunched up as she stirred the eggs for the last time before turning it off and moving it to another stove top. “I forgot, sorry,” she muttered as she leaned down and opened the oven to check on the bacon and sausage.

“It’s cool,” he mumbled as he yawned one more time, “That’s a lot of food, you sharing?” he asked as he walked beside her, glancing all around the kitchen. She rolled her eyes playfully as she shifted her gaze towards Luke. 

Meeting his eye for the first time since last night. Taking in a deep breath, she waved him back as she opened the stove again. A soft chuckle left his lips as he stepped back, drinking directly from the carton. He reopened the fridge and placed it back inside.

“Yes and what the hell are you doing?” she said and while chuckling. He shrugged as he stepped away from the oven as she placed the large cooking pan and placed it onto the stove top. “You cannot just drink from that and put it back,” she explained while shaking her head. 

“Oh Y/N, you have no idea how often we do that,” he said, a dry chuckle falling from his lips. She clenched her jaw while rolling her eyes as she took a step back staring at all of the food she’s prepared. Suprisingly proud of herself. He took a deep breath, “I’ll buy you a new orange juice.”

She chuckled while tilting her head to the side to meet his gaze. He looked genuine in his offer. “No, it’s okay,” she let out as she took a deep breath. “Okay, make your plate and make sure to leave some for the rest of us,” she teased.

Luke barked out a laugh as he took a hold of a plate and instantly started adding to his plate, “Better tell them to hurry,” he joked as she slipped out of the kitchen towards Cole’s room which was on the same level as hers. 

Softly, she knocked a handful of times. It took a few seconds for him to swing the door open. His head was sunken into his hoodie, “What?” he groaned out, his voice was practically gone. 

“Breakfast,” she simply said before she walked down the hall towards Trevor’s room and alerted him of the same thing. He took a little more convincing to leave his room. She climbed up the steps towards Quinn and Jack’s rooms, not even sure if they were in them.

Firstly, she knocked on Jack’s before she took fast steps towards Quinn’s room. They both stepped out of their rooms at the same time, their faces looking like they had been hit by trucks. “Go get some breakfast before Luke eats it all. There’s also coffee,” she offered as she climbed down the steps to hear laughter falling from Luke’s lips. He was sitting at the dining table, already devouring the food.

“Okay, what’s the plan for tonight?” Luke asked as he leaned back watching his older brothers walk down the stairs towards the kitchen. 

“Dude, I’m too fucking hungover to even think about tonight,” Cole interrupted before he shoved a piece of bacon into his mouth, his face still deep in the hoodie. 

“I’m down for anything,” Quinn mumbled as he added eggs to his plate. 

“I was thinking we could go dancing,” Y/N said quietly as she walked behind Jack, waiting to get some of the food she made. All the boys shifted their gaze towards her, collectively nodding. Furrowing her eyebrows, she met each of their eyes before they all shyly looked down towards their plates. 

“Why didn’t that take more arguing?” she questioned as Quinn walked towards the fridge. Watching him pull the orange juice out and drink it directly from the carton. Her mouth fell open as she shifted her gaze towards Luke who was fighting a grin forming to his lips.

“Because you got your heart broken so we’re going dancing if that’s what you want to do,” Jack expressed as he walked backwards towards the dining table. Taking in a deep breath, a small smile formed to her lips.

“Thanks guys,”

~~~

The pregame for their night out started an hour ago and she was the only one getting ready because the boys were waiting until last minute. Which never failed because they were used to planning everything perfectly for their pregame fits. A groan fell from her lips as she stared towards the two outfits in front of her. 

One was a skin tight black dress that had a deep cut down the center of her body; practically revealing everything. She’s worn it to dance clubs before and has always felt so hot wearing it. 

The other one was a corset top with a tight black mini skirt. An outfit she often wears to the parties in New York. She’s gotten in trouble a few times from Henry wearing it; too slutty in his eyes. 

But she couldn’t decide which one to wear. She peaked her head out of the bedroom, “I need a man’s opinion!” she shouted. All of the boys shot up to their feet, no hesistation. Each of them holding beers in their hands as they continued down towards her room. Somehow all five of them were able to lay on her bed and stare towards her closet that had the outfits hanging up.

“I can’t decide which one will make more men dance with me tonight. So which one is hotter,” she questioned, cringing at her own question but the boys were surprisingly helpful. They shared glances as she watched each of them scan the outfits, then scan her frame. 

Suddenly, a wave of nausea coursed through her body, regretting asking the question to begin with. 

“Can you try them on?” Cole asked. Jack smacked his hand hard against Cole’s arm. “Ow! Damn,” he groaned out.

“Off fucking limits, you know that,” Jack scolded pointing towards him with his beer.

“I meant-like-how am I supposed to figure out what’s the hottest, if I can’t see them o-on her,” his voice got quieter as he spoke. The boys began to laugh. 

A grin formed to her lips as she shook her head, “I’ve got Instagram posts in both of these outfits,” she let out and each of the boys pulled out their phones, searching her Instagram instantly. “Are you guys fucking serious?” she asked, laughing. 

“Mini skirt,” all of the boys said in unison as they shifted their gaze towards her. It was awkward at how quick they all replied. Her eyes widened as she laughed; the boys began to laugh too. 

“Okay, thank you. Now leave,” she said shoving each of them out of the door as they practically formed a single file line out of her room. 

It took another hour for her to be done getting ready as well as the boys. They were all practically wearing matching outfits. Their bodies were covered in either a black button down or a black t-shirt. They were all wearing dark wash jeans that could practically be the same brand. 

“Well if I have to be somewhat sober tonight at a night club then I’m gonna need some fucking-” Trevor stopped talking as Y/N walked out of the hallway. Her gaze was on her phone as she was walking towards the dining table to take another shot before they left. The tight black corset top showed off her chest perfectly and the mini skirt showed off her thighs in amazing fashion.

When Trevor stopped talking all of the boys lifted their gaze to see what he was looking at. They were all too stunned to speak. 

She poured out a shot of tequila for herself as she spun around to see them all staring towards her. Her face scrunched up in disgust. They all instantly shifted their gazes elsewhere; besides Luke. He was still staring. He was more subtle than the rest of the boys as he was sitting on the couch that was practically angled in her direction. 

It was impossible not to be attracted to her; literally so stunning everyone had to stop and admire her for a moment. Pressing his lips together, he took a deep breath as he watched her take the shot. She threw it back and didn’t even flinch at the taste. She placed the plastic shot glass back down onto the counter as she walked towards the group of guys. All of them now, slightly flustered. 

“Anyone call the Uber yet?” she asked as her gaze met Luke’s. He quickly shifted his gaze down towards his lap. His legs were bouncing intensely. She took in a deep breath as she forced her gaze towards the floor. 

“Should be here any second,” Jack said as he lifted his gaze and scanned her frame shamelessly. Watching Jack, she took a deep breath before she walked back towards the dining table. “Wha-what are you doing?” he questioned. 

She poured out another shot, “I’m too sober for all of your eyes to be staring at me like this,” she mumbled before she took the shot again; this time cringing at the taste.

The ride to the club took only ten minutes and in those ten minutes, it felt like every ounce of liquor in her body overtook all of her thoughts. She was sandwiched between Luke and Trevor in the furthest backseats. Her heart was pounding out of her chest as her vision was starting to blurr in front of her. 

Tilting her head up, she met Luke’s gaze. His eyes squinted slightly as he scanned her features. “You good?” Luke asked softly. Looking into his eye, she nodded too confidently. He chuckled as he scanned her features, his gaze lingering on her lips for a moment. “Are you drunk?” he asked barely above a whisper. 

Pursing her lips forward, she nodded. He rolled his eyes playfully as the car was pulled into park outside of the club. 

Cole and Jack slide the doors to the mini van open and climbed out of it. Y/N began to climb out of the car and it was quickly followed by Luke and Trevor. “You got your fake?” Trevor asked Luke barely above a whisper. He nodded. Luke stayed at the back of the line, avoiding being too close to his brothers. 

Without turning back, Jack and Quinn head straight into the nightclub. Cole and Trevor were next and Trevor was definitely not looking forward to being practically sober. Y/N walked towards the entrance with her ID in her hand. The bouncer didn’t hesitate as he let both Luke and Y/N in no problem. 

Luke smirked towards her as they continued into the club. She smiled towards him as she started walking deeper into the night club. She didn’t care if Luke was following her or not. All she wanted was to dance and drink more alcohol. Her hips instantly swayed back and forth to the beat of the loud chest vibrating music. 

She was at the center of the dance floor, nearly bumping into every body possible. She found a spot, just for her and she danced to the music alone. 

It’s been months since she’s felt this free. Sure, it was dancing at the center of a club, surrounded by hundreds of people feeling the same way. It was the first time that she's been single in her early twenties and she was okay with drawing all of the attention she could. God, she loved being the center of attention.

Except it didn’t last long for someone to take a hold of her waist and begin to dance with her. She didn’t mind, her whole intention for the night was to get close and sweaty with random strangers. His hands glided along her stomach as he grinded to the beat against her. She ran her hands across the top of his as she continued to grind with him to the beat.

She was with him for a while, several songs had past as he tried to move things along with her. Her body was running hot as her body was erupting in goosebumps with his slow slick movements along her frame.

His hands began to brush her hair off of her neck. Slowly, she spun around, allowing his hands to rest very low on her waist. Looking up, she saw a complete stranger. Her hands slipped from his shoulders as she began to walk away from him, sauntering away. 

Her eyes connected with Trevor’s, he was sipping from a glass with a clear liquid. She knew it was water because once someone is assigned the sober job; they take it seriously. Clenching his jaw, he brougth the tiny red straw towards his lips as he took a small sip. He watched her wander towards the bartop. 

She walked up towards the bar, smiling widely towards the bartender. His eyes widened as he leaned against the counter to hear better. “Tequila shot!” she shouted. He nodded as he leaned back and began to pour the liquid into a tiny glass. 

“Starting a tab?” he asked and she nodded, handing him her card. He went over to the computer and started typing a few things. But she didn’t care as she took the small glass and tossed it back. Burning her throat on the way down, but it felt so good. The added courage gave her full permission to really let everything lose. 

All she wanted was to feel close with someone. She wanted her heart to be jumping into her throat, her body vibrating from the music. She craved the feeling of a stranger’s lips against hers. Maybe even more.

There was an attempt to slide back into the center of the dance floor. Except her gaze landed on Cole and Jack dancing Jersey Shore style. Cocktails were in their hands as they were dancing back and forth. Jack’s eyes lit up as he saw her walking towards them. 

“Y/N!” he shouted but it was barely audible as the music was so loud. She smiled widely as she let out a long drawn out breath as she began to dance again. The boys were laughing loudly. 

It didn’t take long for another guy to slide behind her. Jack and Cole shared glances as they fought off a laugh rising in their throats. They began to dance away from them; knowing that Trevor was keeping an eye on her. The two boys continued to dance towards the bar, as their drinks were running low. 

After a few minutes, she got bored as the man had no sense of rhythm so she continued deeper into the crowd. 

Lifting her gaze, her eyes met Luke’s. He was watching her from afar. He slowly brought the cocktail to his lips, finishing the drink. He set it down on a random table as he tilted his head back. His eyes were still watching her. His tongue dragged across his bottom lip as he fought a smirk forming to his lips.

It could have been the seven shots of tequila in her body or the strobing blue and white lights in the club but her heart jumped into her throat. Pursing her lips forward, their eyes remained connected from across the night club for a moment. Shyly, she dipped her gaze towards the floor. The pounding music made her vision blurred.

Lifting her gaze, she looked towards his direction to find him gone. A frown formed to her lips. As the song changed she slipped deeper in the crowd in search of him. 

It didn’t take long to find him because he was searching for her too. They bumped into one another, giggles falling from their lips. His hands rested onto her hips to stablize her. She looked up towards him meeting his gaze. He smirked as he scanned her features as he bit his bottom lip.

His hands glided towards the small of her back. Her hands landed on his chest as she smirked up towards him. His eyes lingered on her lips for a second but it was so dark she couldn’t tell.

He leaned down towards her ear, “Wanna dance?” he asked before he pulled his head back. She smiled as she slowly spun around, allowing her body to be pressed against his. 

It was instant that their bodies moved in sync as he wrapped his arms losely around her stomach. His fingers delicately traced against the small section of exposed skin just above her hip. Her body erupted in heat as she pressed her head back against his chest as they were moving along to the beat of the song.

Her hands rested on top of his hands as she glided along his skin. Her breathing matched his as the beat of the music was pounding into her chest. He slowly took a hold of her hair and carefully pushed it off of her neck. Her hair fell off of her shoulder. The delicate touch against her neck sent shivers down her spin. His lips were hovering beneath her ear. 

“Hey,” he whispered into her ear. She smiled widely as her heart began to pound hard against her chest. 

Tilting her head back, her eyes shut as she allowed herself to melt into his arms fully. His fingertips graze along her exposed skin along her hips. 

Something about being in his arms felt so right, his lips grazing the skin along her neck, the way his hands dragged along her skin, the way his body moved with hers. It was right, had to of been. 

At least the seven shots of tequila told her so.

His lips brushed against her skin and she slowly spun around. His hands remained on her frame, they were loosely on her lowerback. She rested her hands onto his shoulders as she slowly glided her hands up his neck into his hair. 

Leaning towards him, their noses bumped into one another as they were breathing heavily. A smirk formed to his lips. He pulled her tightly towards him, their chests were pressed against one another as she was doing everything in her power not to kiss him. 

His hand slipped beneath her tight corset top; desperate to feel more of her skin. The small section between her mini skirt and her corset wasn’t enough for him.

Her fingers tugged his hair slightly as she tilted her head to side, nearly allowing him to kiss her. But he didn’t, his lips were hovering over hers. 

“Luke,” she whispered into his ear, he tilted his head back to meet her gaze. Her fingers slipped from his hair, down his neck. A smirk formed to her lips as she slowly stepped back away from him. His hands tried to keep a hold against her body but she stepped away from him. 

Maintaining eye contact, she took several steps back; winking towards him. He chuckled as he shook his head, while fighting a grin forming to his lips.

Her body instantly ran cold as she remerged into the crowd, her eyes met Trevor’s for a second before she continued towards the bar. Her breathing was still heavy while she missed his body pressed against hers.

She was sitting on her couch finishing up her flashcards for her hardest final exam. She was on the last page of her study guide and notes and only had eight flashcards to make left.

She began to hum along to the country song playing in the background as she continued to write the details onto her card. There was a loud knock against her door and she slowly climbed off of the couch. 

Y/N walked towards the door and pulled it open to see Luke waiting for her with Chinease food takeout in his hand. She smiled softly as she stepped aside letting him in. “Can you take a break?” he asked softly as he held up the comically large paper bag. 

“I think I can for a little bit,” she teased as she pointed towards the tiny dining table. He happily walked towards it and placed the bag onto the table.

“Okay, so I ordered practically everything, but it's like a buffet style so we can eat whatever we want,” he explained as he began to pull out each of the containers. She smiled softly as she sat down and looked towards him excitedly. “Hopefully this can make studying easier for you,”

“Thank you. Definitely in need of this,” she mumbled as she opened the first container, it smelled amazing. “Holy shit,” she mumbled as she held her hand towards Luke as he handed her the plastic set of silverware.

“Right?” he said excitedly as he placed the paper bag onto the floor before he opened the egg roll container and took one out. “How is studying going by the way?” he asked before he took a bite.

She tossed her head back as a groan fell from her lips. He chuckled with a mouthful. “I am this close to dropping out and becoming a stripper,” she let out, only slightly joking. His eyes widened as he stifled a laugh.

“I’d watch,” he muttered, causing her to kick him beneath the table as she laughed. “I mean you gotta support local–”

“Do not finish that sentence Luke Hughes,” she warned through a laugh.

“Fine, fine. How about I help you study instead?” he offered before he tossed the rest of the egg roll into his mouth. Y/N stared towards him suspiciously. “You realize I also went to college right? I’m not like Jack who barely attended high school,” he explained. 

“You say that like you didn’t just drop out,” she explained teasingly.

“I didn’t drop out, I finished off the semester early. You know because the whole life long dream of playing in the NHL happened. No big deal or anything,”

“Right, completely forgot,” she said sarcastically. “Okay, but if you distract me, then you have to leave,” 

“Got it,” he mumbled before he took a different container and opened it up.

For another hour, they both feasted on everything that Luke bought. It was definitely too much food but she was happy that she wouldn’t have to buy groceries for several days. 

He waited on her bed as she finished making the last of her notecards. He was scrolling on his Twitter feed, reading different posts regarding the league. She took the large stack of cards and walked towards him and handed them over towards him. He stared blankly.

“Okay, you and I definitely study differently,” he muttered as he took the stack and began to flip them back and forth. “Um, am I reading the definition or term?”

“Definition first and then once I have it down, we’ll do term,” she explained. He nodded slowly while he kept staring at the stack. “Unless you actually don’t want to help me,” she teased.

“Nope, I’m ready whenever you are,” he muttered. She hummed as she sat down on the couch, looking towards him expectantly. He began to read the lengthy definition waiting for her to answer.

She answered incorrectly, confidently, and they both realized it was going to be a long night. “I hope you didn’t have plans tonight,” she mumbled as she met his eye from across the room. He smiled towards her.

“My calendar is wide open,” he said with a grin.

It had been several hours later. Luke didn’t complain once the entire time they studied together. He didn’t hesitate when she got the same term wrong for the fifteenth time. Simply, told her the correct answer and went on. At this point, she was pacing back and forth in her tiny apartment. It was her attempt of trying to speed up the mesmerization process. 

He was watching her pace back and forth as he was laying on his stomach. He was kicking his feet back and forth slowly as she continued to pace. “Why don’t we take a break?” he asked as he placed the notecards in front of him. She shook her head as she stared towards her ceiling trying to think of the answer. 

“Okay, we’re taking a break,” he mumbled.

“Luke,” she whined as she stopped short.

“You will not remember any of this if your brain is short circuiting,” He said while standing up from the bed. He took steps towards her, meeting her eye. “Let’s go take a walk,” he mumbled as he examined her tired features. She nodded as she let him take the lead. 

“Maybe we’ll stop and get some hot chocolate or something,” he expressed as he took a hold of her jacket and held it out towards her. She mumbled a ‘thank you’ as she began to cover her frame with it.

“Okay,” she let out softly as she met his eye once more. He pulled the door open and they both began to walk out side by side. 

At first they didn’t say anything as they walked out of the apartment and down the stairs. They would share awkward glances as they would squeeze around the tiny staircases and the small door that led to the lobby.

They stepped outside and it was surprisingly cold as they began to walk down the busy sidewalk. Luke shoved his hands into his pockets as he glanced towards her. She was so beautiful, he’s always recognized that.

“Are you doing okay with everything?” he asked softly.

“I just want to pass this last exam,” she said simply, very clearly thinking about something else. He continued to look over her features, nearly bumping into someone in the process. 

“Anything else on your mind?” he asked barely above a whisper. She took a deep breath as she kept her gaze ahead. 

“I just wish I was good enough,” she explained. His eyes widened as he continued to look over her side profile. She contemplated on explaining further, lifting her head up, she met Luke’s light eyes. His desperation to make her feel better is evident in his gaze. “I want to be good enough,” she mumbled as her lips quivered. 

“You are more than enough, Y/N. He’s a fucking idiot for not thinking so, you have to know that,” he explained as he took a hold of her arm. He pulled her back, forcing her to face him. Her lips continued to quiver. “You are gorgeous and smart and kind and you make everyone laugh. I mean you should really do a comedy tour. You are beyond perfect,”

She scanned his features and took a shaky breath. Swallowing hard, she nodded. “You laugh at everything,” she said barely above a whisper. He chuckled softly while shaking his head. He pulled her towards him, wrapping his arms around her tightly. 

“I do not laugh at everything,” he let out softly as he ran his hand through her hair for a moment.

Taking in a deep breath, she shut her eyes. “Thank you, Lukey,” she mumbled as her entire body softened against his body.

~~~

It didn’t matter what time she got back or the amount of alcohol in her system; she was always the first one awake. Although, she was definitely violently hungover. She was sprailed out on the couch with three blankets covering her frame. She had a large Yeti cup of iced coffee that she was sipping dramatically to try and fix the headache she was dealing with. 

Trevor entered the hallway, his head deep inside of a hoodie. He smirked once he saw her. “Didn’t think I’d see you awake until this afternoon,” he teased. She rolled her eyes, shutting them harshly as her entire head felt like it was going to fall off. “Have you eaten anything yet?” he questioned as he walked towards the kitchen.

“No,” she forced out as she took in a deep breath.

He nodded as he was quickly putting a bagel into the toaster. He glanced towards her for a second as he walked towards the living room.

“Do you remember last night?” he questioned.

Did she remember last night? 

She hasn’t stopped thinking about last night. Her mind keeps replaying the moment she nearly kissed him. The feeling of her heart beating so hard she was scared it would explode in her chest. Her fingers in his hair, his hands touching her skin, the feeling felt so perfect and so right.

Yet it was so wrong. He was her best friend’s little brother. Jack’s little brother. Family has always been off limits and she was always off limits to him. Jack would lose every once of trust and love he had for her if she got with his little brother. So wrong but she can’t stop thinking about what it would be like to kiss him. Or to be that close to him every night. She needed him, that’s all she knew.

“Y/N, hello?” Trevor asked, nearly too loud for her liking. Her aspirin wasn’t working as fast as she would’ve hoped.

“Yeah, yeah, I remember it,” she mumbled, shyly.

“You remember drinking half a tequila bottle,” he asked as he continued walking towards the couch. He met her gaze, a teasing grin on his lips. 

She furrowed her eyebrows harshly as she covered a blanket over her face, “Do you really think I would look like this if I didn’t?” she mumbled. A loud laugh fell from his lips as he plopped down beside her.

“So you remember dancing with Lukey then,” his voice got softer. She kept her face hidden as she felt her entire face scrunch up nervously. “Y/N?” he asked softly. Slowly, she pulled the blanket from her face meeting Trevor’s gaze. She hummed. “Girl, come on, everyone knows your off limits but Luke? That’s-”

“I know!” she let out. 

“He’s Lukey!”

“I know!”

“Jack would be so mad,” Trevor let out barely above a whisper.

“ I know, Trev! I’m gonna talk to him,” she mumbled.

“Jack?” Trevor questioned as the toaster popped the bagels out. He shot up from the couch.

“N-no Luke, I’ll tell him that last night was a drunken mistake,” she mumbled as she took a deep breath. 

“I’m just-” Trevor mumbled as he began to smear peanut butter onto the bread. 

“I know,” she mumbled as she took another sip from her iced coffee. Trevor walked back towards her with a plate. He handed it towards her and she smiled widely. She sat up slightly as she took a hold of the plate and instantly began to bite into the bagel.

There were loud footsteps climbing down the steps, both Trevor and Y/N switched their gaze towards Luke who was climbing down the steps. His face was hidden by his hoodie as he walked directly towards the kitchen. He wasn’t even looking towards the couch, he was in desperate need of food. 

Her gaze lingered on him. Her heart jumping into her throat as she felt her breathing stagger slightly. Her eyes were stuck on him. He was intoxicating and she was in trouble as she watched him from a far. 

Trevor watched her watch him, a smirk forming to his lips before he stood up from the bed. “Try not to throw that up, I’m going to go shower,” Trevor said loudly as he wandered back down the hall towards his bedroom. 

A chuckle fell from her lips before she bit into the bagel again. Luke wandered towards the living room, biting into a uncooked bagel of his own. He smiled softly once he saw her. 

“Good morning,” he mumbled through a mouthful. Squinting her eyes slightly, she stared towards him suspiciously. “Are we going to talk about it?” he asked bluntly after swallowing his food. Her eyes widened as she shook her head. He nodded, “Okay,” he said simply before he walked back towards the stairs.

“Wait, that’s it?” she questioned as she sat up slightly, placing her food onto the coffee table. He spun on his heel to meet her gaze. “You’re not going to try harder to talk about it?”

He chuckled. “Uh no-you’re the one that wanted to dance with me so, if you don’t-”

“Um, if I remember correctly you’re the one that asked,” she said as she crossed her arms over her chest.

“You were the one that was making eyes at me-”

“Eyes at you!” she let out appalled. He chuckled as he took a step towards her. “Now that is ridiculous,” she teased. All he did was purse his lips forward and nod. “It was a drunken dance that’s all,” she explained. 

He smirked as he nodded, “Yeah,” he let out simply. He walked around the couch and slowly sat down beside her. He met her gaze, “Whatever you say,” he mumbled.

“What does that mean?” she questioned, feeling a grin form to her lips.

“I mean you did almost kiss me, but sure, just a drunken dance,” he let out, a smirk on his lips.

“I did not!” she let out.

“Oh sure, yeah. Definitely not,” he said tilting his head to the side, his eyes squinting slightly. She rolled her eyes playfully before she reached towards the remote. Her aspirin was finally starting to work. 

“I did not try to kiss you,” she said quietly. He shook his head before he stole one of her blankets and draped it over his lap over himself. 

“I didn’t,” she mumbled as she tilted her head to the side, meeting his eye once again. Her gaze lowered towards his lips for a second.

“Are you going to put on Grey’s or not?” he asked softly.

All she could muster up was a nod. He smirked before he was able to bite into his bagel. She rolled her eyes playfully as she reached towards her plate. 

~~~

Once all of their hangovers were done they decided to spend the rest of the afternoon on the boat. Quinn was already on the boat, preparing it. Jack and Luke were setting up the coolers of alcohol while they were waiting for the others to come outside. 

Y/N took a hold of her sunglasses and her Kindle as she started walking outside. She stopped short as she watched Jack shove Luke into the lake. She could hear Quinn and Jack’s laughter from the backdoor of the house. 

It didn’t take long for him to climb back into the boat, his body completely soaking wet. His hair dripping as it was laid across his forehead.

Her heart began to beat hard against her chest as her gaze lingered on his frame, watching the water roll off of his body. His swimtrunks were tight against him. He was tugging at the bottoms, the v-line on his body became more evident as he was adjusting it. He looked good and she was not being shy by the she was staring at him. 

Subconsciously thankful for the fact that her sunglasses hid her gaze.

“Are you sure it was a drunken mistake?” Trevor asked as he stood beside her. Suddenly, she shifted her gaze towards him. She swallowed hard as she subconsciously shifted her gaze towards Luke again. 

“It was,” she mumbled as she began to walk towards the dock. 

“Are you sure because you are staring at him like he’s a piece of meat and you’re starving,” Trevor whispered as he followed after her. She barked out a laugh as she glanced towards Trevor.

“I am not,” she muttered as she walked towards the dock, meeting Jack’s gaze. Her soft smile fading as guilt overwhelmed her features. Jack frowned slightly as he walked towards her, holding out his hand to help her into the boat. “Thank you,” she mumbled. He didn’t say anything as he walked towards Quinn at the head of the boat. 

She sat down in her usually spot and instantly tilting her head back. A sigh fell from her lips as she felt the heat radiate over her skin. 

Cole started jogging towards the dock, “Hurry up asshole!” Quinn shouted through a laugh. He was shirtless as he was carrying a beer and a towel. 

“You guys all left me!” Cole shouted as he reached the boat. He was able to climb into the boat no problem before he sat down beside Luke. Shimming as he tossed the towel beside him before he brought the beer towards his lips. 

“Okay, are we ready?” Quinn asked and everyone cheered slightly. He chuckled as he started driving out into the lake. Luke took a hold of the speaker and started playing music loudly from it. He was leaning towards Trevor and Cole, talking about something. 

Y/N was sitting with her Kindle in her hands, she was trying to find something to read. Jack sat down beside her, practically against her. She lifted her gaze, meeting his eye through her sunglasses. 

“Are you feeling okay?” he asked as he tapped his hand against her thigh before he crossed his arms over his chest. 

“Better,” she mumbled. 

He nodded, “Good, I’m glad,” he said as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder, “What are you reading?” he asked. She chuckled as she tilted her head against his shoulder. Her gaze shifted towards Luke who was looking towards her already. Once their eyes connected, or he assumed they did through her sunglasses, he shifted his gaze towards his lap.

“I don’t know yet,” she said softly. Her gaze still watching him as he leaned back onto his arms. His abs on fully display. Her mouth nearly fell open but she stopped herself as she looked back down towards her Kindle. 

“Want a beer?” Jack asked as he leaned forward towards the cooler. She shook her head as she selected a romance novel and began to load it up. 

It was a couple hours later and the sun was starting to go down, creating a beautiful sunset over the water. She was no longer reading, only got around fifty pages done. But now she was sprailed out on the back of the boat, laying on her stomach. She was staring towards the sunset. Luke climbed beside her, laying down on his stomach.

Tilting her head to the side, she met his eye. “Hey,” she mumbled. He smiled softly before he interlocked his fingers as he shifted his gaze towards the sunset. Her eyes kept admiring his side profile. His lips were curled upward slightly as he was looking over the pink and orange hues of the sky. 

“I always forget how pretty the sunset is out here,” she mumbled as she forced her gaze towards the sky.

He hummed as he shifted his gaze towards her, scanning her features. “It is isn’t it?” he muttered as he looked at her side profile for a moment before he shifted his gaze back towards the sunset. “I’m glad you came with us,” he let out quietly. 

“I know, I would’ve been so mad at myself if I stayed in Jersey,” she mumbled before she looked back towards him. Their eyes met and her body erupted in goosebumps. His blue eyes were soft and sleepy. “Couldn’t let Henry win again,”

Luke’s mouth fell open as he shook his head. “He hasn’t won a damn thing,” 

“I mean he did shatter my heart,” she looked down towards her hands, twisting the ring on her finger. 

“Shattering your heart is him losing. Why would anyone want to do that?” he said barely above a whisper. Lifting her gaze up, she met his eye; a soft smile formed onto her lips. 

“I don’t know,” she muttered, a pout forming to her lips.

“He lost you and you get to be hot on a lake all summer. I’d say you’re winning,” he mumbled as leaned towards her. She giggled as she leaned towards him slightly too. 

“Thanks Luke,” she let out barely above a whisper. He smirked as he nodded. He tilted his head to look behind him to see the rest of the guys hanging in a circle and laughing; completely ignoring them. “You really think I’m hot?” she asked shyly.

His mouth fell open as a scoff fell from his lips, his eyes trailed her frame. “Are you fucking joking?” he let out while laughing. “Have you looked at yourself recently? I mean you’re literally the definition of beautiful,” his gaze dipped towards her lips for a second before he forced his gaze towards the sunset. 

The music was so loud that their conversation was between them and only them. Except Trevor couldn’t help but notice them. He was smiling softly as he watched them meet each others gaze.

She pressed her lips together as she tried not to laugh. She tilted her head to the side as she fully met his gaze. A soft smile formed onto her lips, “I really needed to hear that,” she mumbled. 

“Of course,” he let out as his gaze dipped towards the grin on her lips.

Cole smacked his hand against Trevor’s arm, pointing towards the pair. A snicker fell from Trevor’s lips as he forced his gaze elsewhere. Jack and Quinn were clueless.

~~~

The next few days were filled with the same day drinking and relaxing on the boat. Their evenings were filled with laying in the living room watching Grey’s Anatomy. The boys were all reluctantly watching it except Luke. He was equally interested especially after Addison was introduced.

Tonight was no different, except they were all in the basement hosting another pool tournament. She was sitting on a table as she was adding up the scores as she stared towards the giant chalkboard beside her. 

“Quinn’s back in the lead,” she said as she smiled widely.

“Let’s fucking go!” he shouted as he raised his beer up in the air. Luke let out a loud groan as he walked towards Y/N and the chalkboard. 

“No way, add it up again!” he begged as he walked up beside her, looking towards the scores. Luke delicately rested his hand on the table directly next to her thigh. Her gaze dropped down towards his hand, a mere inch from her skin. Quickly, she forced her gaze back up towards the chalkboard. 

“I added it three times,” she whined out. He pouted his lips as he looked towards her, meeting her eye.

“Add it differently,” he mumbled, his gaze lowering to her lips.

“Luke,” she let out through a chuckle.

“Sorry Lukey, maybe next round,” Quinn said smuggly as he began to reset the pool table. Luke continued to scan her features for a few seconds before he stepped back.

“I don’t wanna play another round. Cole, wanna help me make a drink?” He looked towards Cole. Without hesitation Cole stood up and followed after Luke towards the stairs. 

“Me neither, I wanna relish in this victory for the night,” Quinn said as he took another sip of his beer. 

“‘Course you do, asshole,” Jack muttered as the both of the older Hughes boys plopped down on some beanbags. They all chuckled as Trevor started heading towards the stairs.

“Y/N, wanna a drink?” Trevor asked as he began to slowly climb up the stairs. She nodded as she hopped off of the table and headed for the stairs. 

“I’ll come with you,” she mumbled as she skipped towards the steps. 

Jack watched suspiciously as he shifted his gaze towards Quinn for a second. Quinn simply shrugged as he pulled his phone from his pocket.

Cole and Luke were still in the kitchen once both Y/N and Trevor reached the top of the stairs. 

“Do you really think that she–” Luke stopped talking instantly as he saw Y/N and Trevor side by side. A frown formed to his lips for a second before he quickly brought his cocktail to his lips. Luke shifted his gaze towards the floor. 

“Want a mixed drink or a beer?” Trevor asked as he walked deeper into the kitchen. 

“Any seltzers, Trev?” she asked softly. 

“White Claw?” he asked as pulled the fridge open. She hummed as he tossed her the drink.

“I’m gonna head to bed,” Luke mumbled before he chugged his drink and placed it into the sink. He met Y/N’s gaze before he climbed up the stairs towards his bedroom. Cole frowned slightly as he watched the youngest Hughes walk away. 

Cole quickly followed after him, “Wait–” he called out as he jogged up the stairs. 

She popped open the drink as Trevor pulled a beer out for himself. “Can I talk to you, Trev?” she asked softly. He nodded as he pointed towards the couch. They both sat down quite far apart but they both covered their laps in blankets. “I think you might be right,” she mumbled.

“About Lukey?” he asked quietly. 

She nodded, “But I can’t tell if my feelings are because I’m still trying to get over Henry or if it’s because I’m ready to move on,” she mumbled.

“Well, if you’re even questioning it, I’m sure you’re ready to start something new,” Trevor expressed, glancing behind him. 

“Jack would kill me,” she let out barely above a whisper, “I mean, it’s his little brother.”

“Yeah but it’s not like he’s a kid, you’re barely two years older than him,” Trevor explained. “I think Jack would be pissed at first but get over it if it means you two are happy,” Trevor brought his beer towards his lips.

She stared down towards the can in her hand, she began bending the tab back and forth. “But it’s Lukey,” she muttered as she met Trevor’s gaze. “Little Hughesy,”

“I don’t know when he became something other than Lukey, but I am worried this is gonna fuck everything up,” she mumbled before she pulled her knees towards her chest. 

“He stopped being Lukey the second he got taller than Quinn,” he let out jokingly. “And got abs, which you seem to enjoy,”

“Trevor,” she scolded while laughing.

He took a deep breath, “If your worried you’ll fuck everything up, just hang out with him more and see if your feelings are real. You know push boundaries a little,”

“Push the boundaries, okay,” she muttered as she nodded slightly.

Her phone vibrated in her pocket as she pulled it out instantly.

Luke: Wanna watch Grey’s in my room in ten?

Her heart began to beat heavily against her chest as she read the message. A small smile formed to her lips as she whipped her phone around to show Trevor. He smirked as he nodded.

“Nice,” he said while chuckling.

“What does this mean?” she asked, her eyes widening slightly. 

“I think it means he’s wondering if you want to go watch Grey’s Anatomy in his room in ten minutes,” Trevor said sarcastically. 

She leaned towards him, shoving him before she stood up from the couch. “You’re such a dick, Trev,” she said as she walked away from him while laughing. He tossed his head back and laughed. She walked towards the kitchen as she sent back a reply to Luke saying she’ll be there soon. 

He sent back a smiley face. Lifting her gaze, she saw a glimpse of Cole and Trevor both heading down towards the basement. She knew that Trevor would find an excuse as to why neither of them were back in the basement.

She finished her drink in a few minutes before she headed towards the stairs towards his room, her heart slamming against her chest hard. She awkwardly raised her hand up and knocked. After a few seconds, Luke pulled the door open a wide grin on his lips.

“Come on, I need to find out if Denny lives,” he said as he waved his hand towards her. She chuckled as she stepped inside of his surprisingly clean room. He shut the door behind her, twisting the lock in the process. 

Without hesistation, she laid down on his bed, climbing under the blanket. He took a fast step towards her, leaping over her to lay on the other side of her. He plopped down beside her climbing under the covers.

He shifted his gaze towards her, running his fingers through his hair. Tilting her head to the side, she met his eye. She fought the smile forming to her lips.

“Your face better not reveal anything, no smirk, no smile. No tears, okay?” he asked teasingly. Her lips curled upward in a grin. “I said no smile, it’s a nice smile, but I said no smile,” he let out.

Her mouth gaped open slightly before she forced her gaze towards the TV screen in front of them. “Just get ready,” she muttered. 

“No talking,” he let out while laughing, she shifted her head to the side to meet his eye again. 

“No talking?”

“No talking if you’re gonna say stuff like that,” he said as he reached his hand over to take a hold of the TV remote. “No spoilers,” he said pointing a finger towards her. Her mouth fell open as she pushed his finger away. A giggle falling from her lips. “No spoilers,” he let out softer as his gaze lingered onto her lips.

“Got it,” she mumbled as she felt her cheeks begin to blush as her skin ran hot. He inched towards her, staring at her lips. Suddenly, she felt herself leaning towards him. Wanting to kiss him, craving his lips. All she could hear was the sound of her own heartbeat in her ears. 

After a few seconds, she pulled back. “Luke,” she mumbled.

“Yeah?” he let out softly as he leaned away too.

“We can’t,” she mumbled. He clenched his jaw as his head was still tilted to the side, scanning her features. 

“Can’t what?” he asked softly.

“You’re looking at me,” she mumbled, “You can’t look at me.” 

“I can’t look at you?” he asked softly, his gaze lowered towards her lips again. His gaze flickered up towards her eyes again and she shook her head slightly.

“Stop looking at me like that,”

“Why?” he muttered as he inched towards her again. Instead of pulling away, she found herself staring at his lips again. “Because of Jack?” he mumbled. 

It took a few seconds to reply, “Yes,” she said as she shook her head again. Luke took a deep breath as he scanned her features one more time before he forced his gaze towards the TV. He began to pull up Netflix. “Luke,” she mumbled.

“Let’s just watch the show,” he mumbled as he tilted his head back against the headboard. Taking in a deep breath she forced her gaze towards the screen.

“Luke,” she let out barely above a whisper. He tilted his head to the side, meeting her eye again. “I’m sorry,”

He reached his hand over and delicately rested it against her cheek. Her breath caught in her throat as she looked deeply into his eyes. He ran his thumb across her cheek as she leaned into his hand. 

Y/N wanted nothing more than to lean into him and kiss him desperately. Feel his lips on hers and feel his hands roam her body. It was all that she has wanted over the last few weeks. Maybe months.

Still, she couldn’t tell if it was mere attraction or if she was falling for him. She made a promise to Jack and she needed to keep that promise. Off limits.

“I’m gonna cry a lot this episode aren’t I?” he mumbled before he reluctantly pulled his hand back to his side. 

A soft chuckle fell from her lips as she looked back towards the screen as he did the same. “I’m not allowed to talk, remember? That was your rule,” she teased.

“Right, right. My rule,” 

~~~

A week later, Luke and Y/N were getting closer and closer to reaching something. Her feelings for him were definitely more and more prominent. It finally was hitting her that her feelings weren’t mere attraction but she was falling for him. She was sure that Jack could tell. She knew that Trevor was doing his best to keep it a secret.

She was standing in the kitchen, making dinner for all of the boys. They were all hanging on the boat despite it being docked. She peeked out of the window as she stirred the stirfry in the giant pan. She saw Luke walking up towards the house. Her lips curled upward slightly as she waited for him. 

He stepped inside, “I was sent to see when dinner will be done,” he let out as he leaned against the wall, leaning his head against it. She smiled towards him as she took in a sharp breath.

“Few minutes,” she mumbled. He nodded as he pursed his lips forward, “Anything else?” she asked softly. He smirked as he shook his head slowly. “You sure?”

He took another step towards her, his gaze lingering on her frame. Her body was only covered by the lime green bikini and the white coverall.

“Are you drunk?” she asked as she admired the bright red blush on his cheeks. He raised his hand up and shook it side to side. Tilting her head to the side, she fought the grin forming to her lips. “Go before you do something you’ll regret,” she muttered as she pushed him back slightly. 

He chuckled as he took in a deep breath. He reluctantly stepped away, “That’s an amazing color on you,” he mumbled.

“Luke,” she sing-songed. 

“Yeah, yeah I know,” he mumbled before he stepped back outside and jogged down the steps towards the boat. Every so often, he would glance behind him towards the house. 

A small pout fell to her lips as she continued making the dinner. Taking in a deep breath, her heart slowly started to slow down with him gone. 

It took another few minutes before she turned the stove off. She walked towards the door, pushing it open as she stepped out. “Dinner’s done,” she called out before she instantly went back into the house to make her own plate. 

The boys instantly started jumping off of the boat and jogging towards the house. Luke was the last one to enter the house. All of the boys were distracted by getting their plates and finding a place to sit and eat. Luke entered the house, his gaze lingering on her frame. He pursed his lips forward as he took steps towards the stove to make his own plate.

“We haven’t been to the club in like a week, should we go tonight?” Trevor asked before he shoved some food into his mouth. Luke whipped his head around to look towards Y/N. She was already looking in his direction. Trevor glanced towards Y/N for a second before he shifted his gaze towards Cole.

“I mean, I’m down to be sober if you guys want to go,” Cole offered quickly. Luke shifted his gaze towards Cole and nodded slightly. 

“I’m gonna need a nap before we go to any–” Jack said before he began mimicking EDM music. Y/N laughed before she brought her seltzer towards her lips. “But yeah, I’m down,” he agreed.

It took several more hours before any of them were ready to head out. The guys were once again all waiting for her to be ready. She was tipsy as she was finishing getting ready. She was wearing the skin tight dress she didn’t wear last time they went out. She stood in front of the mirror, making sure that everything would stay in place. 

Once she was satisfied with how the outfit looked she left her room, chugging the remainder of her drink. Entering the living room, the boys fell silent as they were all admiring her frame.

“What did I say about staring?” she said simply as she walked towards the tequila bottle on the dining table. A few of the guys cleared their throats and began their conversation once again. 

On the other hand, Luke was still admiring her frame. The dress fit her tightly to the point that every single curve of her body was amplified. He leaned forward as he dragged his hand across from his nose as he continued to stare towards her.

Jack was laughing at something Cole said when he shifted his gaze towards his younger brother. His smile faded slightly as he saw the way Luke was admiring Y/N from a far. His eyebrows furrowed as he saw Luke smile softly as Y/N spun around. Jack clenched his jaw before he brought his beer towards his lips, finishing the drink in only a few sips.

He watched as Luke and Y/N eyes connected. The smile on her lips was small but it looked like it was reserved for Luke. 

“Uber’s almost here,” he muttered as he stood up from the couch and headed towards the dining table where Y/N was standing. Once he reached the table, he took a hold of the vodka bottle and brought it towards his lips. He drank directly from the bottle for a few seconds before he placed it back down. 

Everyone looked towards him in horror. “Was thirsty,” he forced out, sounding like fire was running up and down his throat. His phone vibrated in his pocket and he pulled it out to see the Uber was at the house. “Gotta go,” he muttered, still fighting from the alcohol. Everyone nodded awkwardly as they stood up and began to head towards the door towards the Uber.

“Are you okay?” she asked him as the rest of the guys left the house. 

“Are you fucking Luke?” he asked harshly, looking deeply into her eyes. 

“What?” the word fell out barely above a whisper.

“Are you fucking my little brother?” he asked as he got closer to her face. Her eyes widened as she shook her head.

“No,” she mumbled as she looked into his eyes.

“Don’t lie to me, I’m not blind. I see you guys disappear all of the time,” he said as he continued to scan her features, for the truth.

“We’re just hanging out, Jack, I swear,” she let out as she stepped away from him. He clenched his jaw as he tilted it to the side. 

“We used to do that, what happened to that?” he questioned. She dryly chuckled as she shook her head.

“Are you seriously jealous of Luke?” she asked somewhat harshly. His mouth fell open for a second before he clamped it shut.

“I’m not jealous of Luke,” he said simply. 

“Then why won’t you believe me that we’re just hanging out?” she threw her hands to the side. At first Jack didn’t reply. He stared towards her, frowning slightly. “Jack!?”

“Because have you seen the way he looks at you?!” he yelled out. “I mean even all the way back to April, this kid is in love with you and I don’t need you breaking his heart!” he explained loudly. 

Pulling her head back, she blinked slowly as she took in a shaky breath. Her gaze lowered towards the floor. Pressing her lips together, she nodded. “You’re my best friend Jack. I won’t let anything change that,” she muttered before she tilted her head back, blinking back the sudden wave of tears hitting her eyes. 

“Y/N,” he let out barely above a whisper. 

“They’re waiting on us,” she said as she pulled the door opened and stormed out. She stomped down the steps as she walked towards the Uber seeing Trevor sitting in the front passenger seat. 

She walked up towards the door, pulling it open.

“Woah, occupied,” he said while raising his hands up. 

“Get out, I’m not sitting next to Jack,” she said simply. Jack started walking down the steps slowly.

“Sit next to–”

“Trev,” she let out simply as she met his eye. It took him a second before he understood what was happening. He nodded as he unbuckled the seatbelt and climbed out of the seat. Delicately resting his hand on the center of her back for a moment before she climbed into the passenger seat. Trevor opened the back door, shrugging slightly as he climbed over Luke towards the backseat. 

Jack was quick to climb over Luke as well as sit beside Trevor and Quinn in the furthest backseat. Luke tilted his head back, meeting Jack’s gaze, mouthing, “Are you guys okay?” 

Jack shook his head as he tilted his head back against the headrest. The Uber took off towards the club, awkwardly turning the music up in the process. The drive didn’t take long and they were quick to all climb out. Y/N didn’t wait for anyone before she started heading directly towards the entrance. It looked as though flames were practically coming out of her body as she stormed away.

Jack stood outside of the car staring towards her walk into the club. “What did you do to piss her off?” Quinn asked as he smacked his hand against Jack’s upper back. Jack glanced towards Luke; who was walking towards the club entrance with Cole beside him. Trevor was awkwardly glancing between Luke and Jack.

“I accused her of leading Lukey on,” he said while meeting Quinn’s gaze. Jack watched Quinn’s eyes go wide.

“What, like, Luke has feelings for her or something?” Quinn questioned. Trevor’s eyes widened as he swallowed hard. Watching Luke and Cole enter the club no problem.

“More like I think she has feelings for him and I basically called her a slut, so that’s why she’s–” he stopped talking as he tossed his hands to the side. 

“You called her a slut?” Quinn asked flabbergasted.

“No! No, I told her that I don’t want to see Luke’s heart get broken,” he mumbled as the three of them all started walking towards the entrance to the club. 

“Like that’s the only option if they get together? They could be happy, you know,” Trevor expressed as he pulled out his ID from his wallet. Ever since the first night at the club, he’s been rooting for them like crazy. 

“They’re not getting together,” Jack said as he flashed his ID towards the bouncer. He nodded allowing the guys to enter the club.

“Why do you care so much?” Trevor asked as he began walking backwards to meet Jack’s gaze.

“Because I don’t want to lose my best friend. If they break up, I’m choosing my little brother,” he explained as they started walking deeper into the club. It was starting to get too loud to talk without shouting into each others ears. Jack shifted his gaze to see both Luke and Y/N standing at the bar waiting for their drinks.

“Are you okay?” Luke asked as he leaned towards her, his lips brushing against her ear. He pulled back, trying to meet her eye but her gaze remained ahead. His eyebrows furrowed as he leaned towards her to ask it again; instead their shots were placed in front of them. 

Without hesitation, she brought the shot of tequila to her lips and threw it back. She placed the glass upside down. Luke’s eyes widened slightly before he took the small glass and took the shot himself. He swallowed it with much difficulty, his entire body reacting as he placed the glass upside down.

She took a hold of his shirt and began dragging him into the club. Luke smirked as he followed along. But instead of stopping at the center of the dance floor she kept going. She kept dragging him, shoving through several groups of people in the process. Luke was shouting, asking where they were going but she was determined to take him somewhere private. 

They reached a secluded hallway, probably for the bathrooms. The music was still loud but was much quieter in that section. She pushed him against the wall before she crossed her arms over her chest.

“You have to stop!” she shouted, finally meeting his gaze. He pulled his head back, frowning. “We can’t do this anymore,” she let out as she continued to scan his features.

“We’re not doing anything!” he let out while shaking his head. His eyes softened.

“The flirting! The looking at me! It has to stop, okay we can’t do this!” she said as she dropped her gaze towards the floor.

“Why?” he let out, taking a hold of her arm delicately.

“Because Jack knows and we haven’t even done anything yet! So we have to stop!” 

He shook his head as he clenched his jaw repeatedly. “Why does Jack get more say than me?”

Her mouth opened and shut as her heart was pounding so hard against her chest, it was nearly louder than the music. She looked deeply into his blue eyes. The blue light from the club was over his skin, making his blue eyes look dark.

“He’s my best friend, okay? Jack, Quinn, Trev, Cole, you.” her voice faded slightly as she dropped her gaze towards his chest, “You guys are all I have okay?! So if us getting involved makes me lose all of that, then I can’t. I can’t do that,” she said while holding back her tears that were trying to form in her eyes.

He nodded as he admired her features. Her eyes were teary as she was staring towards his chest, the top two buttons were unbutton, revealing his collar bones and some of his chest muscles. She was the most beautiful girl he's ever seen. He’s thought that his whole life. No one ever compared to her and no one will ever compare because she was everything. 

He loved the way her lips would curl up slightly any time he said something dumb. Or the way she danced slightly while cooking; even if there was no music. Or the way her love language was touch, even as kids. She was always the first to initiate a hug or rest her head onto his shoulder. 

She was always the center of attention, loved having eyes on her. But right now, all he’s wanted was to be the only guy that gets to look at her the way he is now. Like she is all that matters. 

They were close but she wouldn’t meet his gaze, unsure if she could stop herself if she did.

“You can’t tell me you haven’t thought about what it’s like to kiss me,” he said softly. 

Lifting her gaze up, she met his eye. “Do you really think that I would be doing this if I could stop thinking about it? We can’t,” she said as she forced herself back. Their eyes were still connected before she began to walk away from him.

“Y/N,” he called out.

She spun around, meeting his eye again, “Luke, we can’t,” she said while shaking her head. 

He reached towards her, taking a hold of her waist as he pushed her against the wall. Her eyes widened slightly as she rested her hands onto his chest for stability. “Luke,” she mumbled.

“If you can’t stop thinking about it, then kiss me,” he whispered as he leaned down against her ear. He pulled back, taking a delicately hold of her chin. Scanning her features, his gaze admiring her lips.

“Luke,”

“If you can’t stop, then kiss me,” he whispered again as he lifted his gaze to meet her eye. Her breathing quickened as she swallowed hard. Her hands were still pressed against her chest.

He was so close that if she breathed differently, their lips would connect. She was desperate to feel his lips against hers. Her hands gripped his shirt for a moment as she continued to look into his eyes. 

“Kiss me,” he mumbled. Her gaze flickered back down towards his lips.

After another second, she reached up and took a hold of his cheeks. Pulling him towards her, their lips connected instantly and desperately. His hands glided along her hips and rested on her lower back. 

He pulled her tightly against his body. Her hands glided from his cheeks towards the base of his neck. Her entire body erupted in flames. It was as if every ounce of tension in her body faded as she continued to kiss him.

Her fingers began to glid through his hair as a breathy moan fell from her lips. Everything was perfect, everything was right in this moment; his body pressed against hers and their lips connected.

There was a passing second that she thought that this would be okay. Jack would get over it and her and Luke could be happy together. Nothing else mattered right now, nothing else other than Luke.

Slowly, she pulled away. Her fingers tugged at the ends of his hair. His nose bumped against hers, as he leaned towards her desperate for her lips again. Their lips connected again as a moan fell from her lips. 

His hands lowered on her frame gliding along the curve of her ass as he reached for her thighs. Her arms wrapped around his neck as she leaped up and wrapped her legs around his waist. His hands were gripping her thighs tightly.

Several minutes past as they were in their own little world, not caring who could be watching. All she needed was him, that’s all she knew. 

“Luke,” she mumbled against his lips. He hummed against her lips, sending a vibration to course through her body. Tilting her head back, he leaned towards her desperate for her lips again. “Wait-” she said through a giggle. He smirked as he reluctantly tilted his head back. He tilted his head to the side as his gaze was on her lips.

They were both breathing heavy, her hands glided from his hair towards his cheeks. “We can’t,” she mumbled as she dragged her thumb across his cheeks. He clenched his jaw as he met her gaze. 

He slowly put her back down, his hands glided up the same path they took before. Her hands glided from his cheek down his chest. Adjusting her dress on her frame, he soon rested his hands onto her lower back. He leaned towards her, kissing her softly. 

“I know,” he mumbled against her lips as she slowly slipped away from him.

He didn’t stop her as she began walking deeper into the night club. He stood in the secluded hallway, watching her slip away into the crowd. He clenched his jaw before he took a deep breath. He dragged his hand across his nose before he dropped his gaze towards his feet. 

He needed another drink. He needed many drinks.

~~~

Tensions were high for the next few days after that. She was considering on leaving because Jack wouldn’t talk to her and she was avoiding Luke the entire time. She stayed in her room for an entire day, claiming to be violently hungover. Which was not entirely wrong because she was in fact, violently hungover. 

She was laying in bed, staring towards the screen. She was debating on what to watch. She clicked on Grey’s Anatomy, since that’s what she’s been watching this summer. It felt wrong without Luke. 

Almost on cue, there was a loud knock on her door. She muttered a come in as she rolled over to see who was walking into her room. Luke stepped inside, quickly twisting the lock behind him.

“What are you doing?” she asked quietly. He took a deep breath as he sat down on the mattress. 

“I should be asking you the same question because what is that?” he let out as he pointed behind him towards the TV. She smirked as she shook her head slightly.

“What are you doing, Luke?” she asked as she scanned his features. He smiled softly as he rested his hand beside her thigh. 

“I’ve missed you,” he mumbled as he pursed his lips forward, “And the other guys all went out with some girls they met the other night. So here I am,” 

Her eyes widened, “You missed me?” she asked teasingly.

“Well, you’ve been hiding in your room for days so, yes I’ve missed you,” he explained as he leaned towards her. 

“I haven’t been hiding,” she mumbled as she scanned his features. 

“Oh really, what have you been doing?” he asked as he tilted his head to the side.

“Enjoying some peace and quiet,” she mumbled, “And some Grey’s,” she felt her chest get heavy as she continued to look into his eyes. “They left us alone? I can’t believe it,” she said sarcastically. 

He chuckled as he climbed over her, laying beside her. “I think Jack’s exact words were ‘try not to have sex while we’re gone’,” Luke said jokingly. 

“Well, he won’t have to worry about that,” she muttered as she pressed play on the TV. He chuckled as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“And how are you so confident about that?” he mumbled as he tilted his head to the side. He met her gaze, a smirk on his lips. 

“Because–” she trailed off as her gaze lowered towards his lips, “Stop looking at me,” she said while fighting off a grin. He chuckled as he inched towards her. “Luke,” she mumbled.

“I can’t stop,” he mumbled as he reached his hand over and took a hold of her cheek. He pulled her towards him as he kissed her desperately. A gasp left her lips before she began to deepen the kiss. The tension in her body faded as she tossed the blanket from her frame.

She thought about it for a second before she slowly climbed onto his lap. He took a hold of her thigh as he helped her. Her hands landed on the base of his neck as she began to twist the small curls. His hands were delicately running along the exposed skin of her thighs.

After several minutes she finally mumbled out, “We’re not having sex,” against his lips between kisses. Luke let out a soft chuckle.

“Okay,” he mumbled, a small smile forming to his lips. He tilted his head back against the headboard as he admired her features.

“This is why I was hiding,” she mumbled as she scanned his features. She ran her thumbs across his pinked cheeks.

Leaning towards her, he pecked her lips. “Thought you weren’t hiding,” he teased. Her lips fell into a pout as she continued to run her fingers through his hair. He raised his hand up and dragged his thumb across her bottom lip. 

“We shouldn’t be doing this,” she mumbled as she looked into his eyes. 

“But you want to,”

“Luke,” she said as she tilted her head to the side. She wanted to say more but every thought she had disappeared as she leaned towards him, kissing him desperately again. His hand glided to the base of her neck. 

“Y/N,”

“Can we not talk?” she mumbled and he nodded before he pressed his lips against hers.

~~~

She was pacing back and forth in the hallway in front of Trevor’s room. She had to tell someone because she can’t spend the remainder of her time at the lakehouse stuck in her room. Someone had to know because she spent majority of her night last time making out with Luke and she was feeling guilty.

Guilty because she hated that she was doing it behind Jack’s back but it was perfect. Luke’s perfect and she was tired of pretending he wasn’t.

A gasp left her lips as Trevor stepped out of the room. “Oh my god!” he shouted as he stepped back placing his hand against his chest. She jumped back. “What are you doing?” he asked in a hushed tone. 

“Can I talk to you?” she asked quietly. He nodded suspiciously as he pointed behind him. “Great, thanks,” she muttered as she walked into his room. He laughed as he shut the door.

“What’s on your mind?” he asked somewhat teasingly as he sat down on his bed. She began to pace back and forth in front of his bed. His eyebrows furrowed as he continued to watch her back and forth. 

She took a deep breath as she stopped short and met Trevor’s gaze. “I need you to be a girl right now, this conversation won’t work if you react how you normally do,” she explained while looking into his eyes urgently. He nodded slowly. 

“I can be a girl,” he said confidently.

“Okay,” she said breathlessly, “The other night at the club, I made out Luke,” she explained. 

He chuckled and raised his hand up, “Nice!” he said. Her eyes widened while shaking her head. He cleared his throat and lowered his hand, “Right, be a girl, right,” he nodded before he began to talk again with a higher pitched voice, “Oh my god, that’s amazing. What was it like?” 

“Trevor, come on,” she whined out. 

“Seriously! What was that like!?” he asked, his voice back to normal.

“It was amazing but it can’t be amazing because Jack would never speak to me again if he found out,”

“That’s not true,” Trevor said.

“It is true because I did it again last night,” she said shyly. Trevor’s eyes widened as a grin formed to his lips. 

“Please high five me,” he said while holding his hand up again. Clenching her jaw, she reluctantly high fived him. 

She sat down beside Trevor, criss crossing her legs. Pressing her lips together, she took a deep breath. “I’ve never been kissed like that before,” she mumbled. Trevor smile softened as he met her gaze.

“I gotta ask,” his voice was quiet as he glanced towards his bedroom door, “This doesn’t seem like it just started this summer,” he shyly looked back towards her. 

“We hung out a lot while Jack was in the playoffs,” she said simply as she pursed her lips forward. 

“I was heartbroken and lonely. Luke didn’t know anyone else out here and was lonely too. I don’t know when it happened but he stopped being Jack’s little brother and Little Hughesy and he was just Luke,” she expressed.

“So you’ve had feelings for him for a while then?” Trevor questioned, squinting his eyes slightly.

“Maybe? I don’t know,” she forced out as she tapped her fingertips against her calves. He nodded while he tried to meet her eye. “I just like being around him,” she mumbled.

“You also like kissing him apparently,” Trevor teased. Her mouth fall open as she pushed him. He fell onto his elbows while chuckling.

“Yeah I do,” she let out softly, “He’s really good at it,” she continued.

Trevor fell onto his back while laughing. He covered his face with his hands, “That’s the line! I didn’t need to know that,” he muffled out through his hands. She tilted her head back laughing.

“Do you really think Jack can get over this, if Luke and I get together?” she asked, switching the tone to serious quickly. 

Trevor pulled his hands away from his face as he slowly sat up. He dragged his hand across from his chin as he swallowed hard. “I think he would be pissed longer if you two keep hiding it from him. You also should figure out what is going on with Luke before you tell Jack anything,” 

She nodded as she stared towards her lap, taking everything in. “Okay, yeah–figure out what’s going on first,” she repeated as she kept her gaze towards her lap. Trevor stared towards her, pursing his lips forward.

“You clearly have feelings for him, so just tell him that,” 

“I think he already knows,”

“You think?” 

“Yes, I mean I think it’s obvious,” she muttered. 

Trevor threw his head back laughing. “He’s a Hughes, they can’t pick up on clues if they were written in a giant billboard,” Trevor explained. Her mouth fell open as she rolled her eyes playfully.

“I mean I told him that I couldn’t stop thinking about him, I think that’s obvious enough,” she said while laughing. Trevor’s lips fell into a pout as he tilted his head to the side. “Stop,” she whined as she pushed him back again. 

“Go talk to him,” he said while delicately pushing her off of the bed. She stood up and took a deep breath as she walked towards the door. 

“Wish me luck,” she muttered before she snuck out of the room. 

Shutting the door behind her, her legs suddenly felt heavy as she started walking towards her room. Y/N pulled her phone from her pocket to text Luke to meet her in her room. Lifting her gaze, she saw Luke walking towards her. 

Her eyes widened as her heart began to pound hard against her chest. 

“The pizza place doesn’t deliver so Jack and Quinn went to go pick it up,” he explained as his eyes trailed her frame for a moment.

“Perfect because we need to talk,” she said simply as she turned towards her room, she opened the door and slipped inside. Quickly, Luke followed her inside; a soft grin on his lips in the process.

“Yeah?” he asked softly as he shut the door behind him, twisting the lock in the process. Slowly, she turned around to meet his eye as her lips fell into a pout. His eyes widened as he rested his hands onto her hips. She lifted her gaze as she looked into his eye. “What’s going on?” he asked while scanning her features.

“I hate this,” she mumbled as her voice broke. His eyebrows furrowed harshly as he panickly looked over her features. 

“What?” he asked barely above a whisper.

She swallowed hard before she practically leaped towards him. She wrapped her arms around his neck as she kissed him urgently. He wrapped his arms around her lower back as he kissed her back hesitantly. He slowly stumbled towards her bed. 

Her legs hit the mattress. He slowly loosened his grip around her body, she returned to her feet as their lips were still connected. 

Her fingers ran through his hair as she slowly moved her hands against his cheeks. She ran her thumbs across his cheeks, feeling the heat radiate from them. His hands were on her lower back, pulling her towards him hesitantly. 

“I’m getting mixed signals here,” he mumbled against her lips. Slowly, she pecked his lips one more time before she slowly pulled away from him. She met his blue eyes for a second as she sat down on the bed. Looking up towards him, her lips fell into a pout again. 

He sat down beside her, wrapping his hand around her waist. His fingertips were delicately tapping against her hip. Tilting her head to the side, she met his gaze. She took a deep breath.

“You’re right,” she mumbled. He scanned her features, waiting for her to continue. “I want this. I want you and I hate that I do because you are the one person I shouldn’t want. I hate that I am sad when you’re not around. I hate that I haven’t stopped thinking about you and I think–I think you haven’t stopped thinking about me too,”

“I haven’t,” he let out.

She looked deeply into his eyes, nodding slightly as her lips curled upward for a moment. “Is this just physical or is this something else? Because I can’t tell and I don’t know if it’s because of my trust issues or what el–”

He reached his hand over as he took a hold of her cheek. He dragged his thumb across her skin for a moment. Her breath caught in her throat as she looked into his eyes. “I want you, I want everything,” he expressed as he leaned towards her, pressing his lips against hers delicately. “I need you,” he mumbled against her lips.

Reluctantly, she pulled back to meet his gaze. “Really?” she asked barely above a whisper. He hummed and she smiled softly. “Okay,”

“Okay?” he questioned as he raised his eyebrows. She nodded as her smile widened. He giggled softly before he wrapped his arms around her tightly. A giggle fell from her lips as she wrapped her arms around his neck. She fell onto her back as he was still holding her tightly against his chest. 

He lifted his head up from the crook of her neck as he leaned down and kissed her urgently. She hummed against his lips as her fingers began to run through his curls. They slowly adjusted their position, she was laying completely on the bed as he was on top of her. Their lips not separating for a single second.

In that moment, everything was perfect. His lips on hers as her hands were roaming his body. They were together and everything was the way it should’ve been. 

He pulled his lips away from hers as he began to trail his lips along her jawline. He lowered them down her neck taking a moment to glide his hand up her shirt. Delicately running his fingertips along the side of her waist. 

A hushed moan fell from her lips as he trailed his lips back up towards her lips. He pressed them against hers sensually as his hand hiked up her shirt slightly on her frame. 

Arching her back into him, she allowed him to begin to pull the shirt from her frame. Instead, he smirked as he climbed down her frame, pressing wet kisses against her stomach. She took a hold of the ends of her shirt and pulled it over her head. Tossing it to the floor, she glanced down towards Luke.

She grinned as she tilted her head back. He hummed against her skin, sending electricity all over her body. A sudden gasp fell from her lips as she stared towards the ceiling. He pulled his lips away from her frame as he sat back, tugging his shirt from his body. He tossed it to the floor.

Her eyes lowered towards his abs and he smirked slightly as he climbed back on top of her. “What?” he asked innocently. She shook her head as she pursed her lips forward. She slowly ran her finger tips down his chest, tracing each line of his muscles. Her eyes widened slightly as she watched his body tense under her touch. 

“Very nice,” she mumbled as she lifted her gaze back up meeting his eye.

“Yeah?” he asked teasingly as he leaned down and kissed her delicately. “Yeah?” he asked again against her lips. She hummed as she raised her hands up and began to run her fingers through his hair.

There were loud knocks against her door and Luke quickly fell away from her. “Jack and Quinn just pulled into the driveway. You better get yourselves together!” Trevor shouted from outside the door. Luke stared towards the ceiling breathing heavily. 

“Fuck,” she mumbled as she jumped off of her bed as she leaned down to take a hold of her shirt. Luke slowly stood up from the bed, reaching for his shirt as well. “You can’t say anything until I talk to Jack,” she let out as her breathing started to quicken. “You promise?” 

He nodded as he walked around the bed quickly. He leaned towards her, kissing her urgently. He rested his hands onto her waist, “I promise,” he said as he pulled away. She walked away from him as she took a deep breath.

Unlocking the door, she pulled it open to see Trevor standing there. He had a grin on his lips as he had his hand up for another high five. 

Rolling her eyes she walked past him, “I am not high fiving you again,” she let out while laughing as she continued down the hall. Her hands were running through her hair and fanning her face; trying to pretend she wasn’t all flustered. She met Cole’s gaze as she walked towards the couch. He smiled softly towards her before he looked back down towards his phone.

“Don’t leave me hanging, Lukey, this is awesome!” he said excitedly in a hushed tone. Luke glanced down the hall towards Y/N but she was already in the living room. A smirk formed on his lips as he high fived Trevor. 

“Can’t talk about it until she speaks with Jack, alright?” Luke whispered. Trevor nodded quickly as he pointed towards the hallway. They began to walk side by side as they heard the door being pushed open. 

Quinn was carrying two boxes and so was Jack. “Where’s my tip?” Jack said happily as he strutted inside the house. Quinn shook his head while following Jack.

“I fucking drove, dude,” Quinn said while laughing. Jack didn’t respond as he rested the pizza boxes onto the counter. Quinn placed his boxes on top of Jack’s. Luke looked towards Y/N as she was staring towards her lap, she was tapping her fingertips against the top of her thigh. Luke took in a deep breath as he walked towards the kitchen with the other boys. 

They all began to take slices of pizza and placing them onto their plates. After a few seconds, they all walked away and headed towards the living room. Luke took a few slices and placed it onto a plate and he walked towards the living room. He walked directly up to Y/N and handed her the plate. Looking up towards him, a soft smile formed to her lips.

“Thanks,” she said softly. He nodded before he walked back towards the kitchen to make his own. Jack glanced towards the pair, his eyebrows furrowing slightly. He pursed his lips forward as he tilted his head back slightly. 

Y/N shifted her gaze towards Jack just when he was looking towards her too. He nodded slightly before he happily bit into his food again. She took a deep breath as she bit into her food. 

~~~

The following morning she was waiting for Jack to emerged onto the main level of the house. She was sitting in the living room a coffee mug in her hand as she was scrolling through her Tiktok.

This was the first time in months that she’s felt this happy, maybe in years. Her entire body was physically more relaxed. Every ounce of tension in her body was gone. Well maybe not every ounce. She was still so nervous to tell Jack. But something about last night told her that maybe it would be okay. 

She heard steps from the stairs and she lifted her gaze to see Luke walking downstairs. He was sleepily rubbing his eyes. Y/N smiled softly as she watched him climb down the steps. Luke pulled his hands away from his eyes. He grinned widely as he saw her on the couch. 

“Good morning gorgeous,” he said as his voice rasped. He walked towards her while looking into her eyes. 

“Morning,” she muttered before she took a sip of her coffee. He stood behind her looking down towards her. She tilted her head back as he leaned down towards her delicately pressing his lips against hers.

He pulled away, “Are you talking to Jack today?” he asked softly. She nodded slowly, “Good because I might have already told Quinn,” her eyes widened, “He’s on board, he’s cool,” he reassured before he pecked her lips. She chuckled as he leaned back. 

“I am going to talk to him this morning,” she said as she took a shaky breath. Luke hummed as he walked towards the kitchen to make some breakfast. 

After a few more minutes, it seemed like all of the boys woke up at the same time and walked down towards the main level. Quinn walked down the steps smirking towards Y/N as he stifled a chuckle. She pursed her lips forward as she looked back down towards her lap. 

Slowly, she stood up from the couch. “Uh–Jack?” she let out. He lifted his gaze from his phone, meeting her eye. “Can you come with me, we’re out of tequila an–and other alcohol,” she mumbled.

“Yeah, sure,” he said as he stood up. The other boys shared glances as she walked towards the door. She took a hold of her purse that was on the side table. She took a hold of the keys inside of the bowl. Jack met Luke’s gaze for a moment before he followed Y/N out of the lakehouse.

It took a few minutes before she pulled out of the driveway. Her entire body felt weak but she needed to tell him. She couldn’t move forward with Luke if she didn’t tell Jack.

Jack was in the passenger seat, trying to find a playlist to play. He decided on his country playlist, the playlist he would usually pick. He leaned over and turned up the music.

Jack furrowed his eyebrows as she took a left instead of a right. “The liquor store is that way,” he said pointing behind him.

“I’m going to talk and you are going to listen,” she said simply, “Which is why I am taking the long way,” she explained.

“Okay,” he said suspiciously. 

“I think,” she paused as she tapped her finger nervously against the steering wheel. “I think you think that I’m leading Luke on,” she started. Jack sat up straighter, staring towards her side profile. “Or that this is a summer fling but I–” she paused again as she pulled up to a red light.

Y/N looked towards Jack and he was listening intently. 

“I have feelings for Luke,” she let out slowly as she met his gaze. Her heart was pounding hard against her chest as his face didn’t change. 

“I think I’ve had them for a while but I am not sure because everything with Henry messed me up really badly. And he was there which is not your fault you were busy in the playoffs and–” she paused as he pointed ahead of him. She took a deep breath as she started driving ahead.

“I was lonely and he was lonely; and I loved spending time with him. But I didn’t think it was feelings until we danced together while we were extremely drunk.” she paused as she took a sudden breath. “I tried to stop my feelings, I shoved them down and I kept my distance but he is impossible to stay away from because he is charming. He is cute and a great kisser.” she explained rushly. 

Her mouth fell open as a wave of nausea coursed through her body. 

“I mean it was only a few times but now I think we’re serious like possibly he might be my boyfriend. We didn’t put a label on it. But I wanted to tell you so badly because you are my best friend and he’s your little brother; and I know how protective you are over him and I won’t hurt him. I’ll never hurt him or–or you,” she explained.

For the first time in possibly minutes, there was a silence. Jack’s lips curled upward as a chuckle fell from his lips. “Can I talk now?” he asked slowly. She nodded dramatically as she kept her gaze straight ahead, even though she was at a red light. 

“I’m not blind, you know,” he began, “I think I knew that you and him had feelings for each other when I was getting my ass handed to me in Raleigh. Any time I called Luke, you two were together hanging out. I just thought that he was cheering you up but I think you two were falling in love.”

Her eyes widened slightly as she kept her gaze ahead. He chuckled.

“These lakehouse trips are the only times I see all of my favorite people in one place. I was watching my little brother take my best friend and I was mad. So I yelled at you,” his voice got quiet, “I’m really sorry. But if Lukey makes you happy and you make him happy. I think I can be happy too,” he explained. Her lips curled upward as she pulled into the parking lot. “But I’ve got rules,” he began.

“Okay,” she said while laughing. 

“First rule,” he cleared his throat, “I don’t want to see it. Hands, mouth, keep them to yourself. Second rule, I share custody of both of you. I get time with Lukey and I get time with you. Third rule. When it’s all three of us, I’m not the third wheel; there better be no evidence that ya’ll are together. Fourth rule–”

“Four rules! Are you kidding!?” she said while laughing. He smirked while rolling his eyes.

“Fourth rule,” he let out slowly, “I don’t want details. That thing about my little brother being a good kisser, I didn’t need to know that information. We’re best friends but I don’t need to know,” he explained. 

She tilted her head back and laughed. After a few seconds, she unbuckled her seatbelt and shifted her body to face him. Leaning her head against the headrest she met Jack’s gaze. Her eyes softened.

“Are you sure you’re okay with this?” she asked barely above a whisper. 

He nodded, “I’ve never seen my little brother so happy and just so happens, I’ve never seen my best friend so happy. So yeah, I’m okay with this,” 

~

They both returned to the house, carrying several bags of alcohol. They were smiling and laughing as they stepped inside. “Our alcohol!” Cole cheered as he stood up and jogged towards the door. He took a hold of a few of the bags to lighten Y/N’s load. Luke lifted his gaze, a hopeful smile on his lips as he met Jack’s gaze. 

Jack didn’t change his face as he continued walking towards the kitchen with his bags. Luke’s face fell as he lowered his gaze towards his lap. 

“We nearly cleared all the shelves,” Y/N joked as she placed her bags onto the countertop while Cole and Jack placed theirs on the dining table. 

“Almost but we are drinking all day today, okay. Get some shots in your bodies now,” Jack teased as he walked towards the living room. Luke stared blankly ahead his heart slamming against his chest. Y/N stood by the dining table, looking towards Luke expectantly.

Luke watched as Jack walked towards him. Jack smiled softly as he patted his hand against Luke’s shoulder, “Your girl’s waiting on you, come on,” he said, a teasing grin on his lips. 

“My what?” Luke let out softly. 

“Your girlfriend over there,” Jack teased as he tilted his head to the side in the direction of Y/N. Luke smiled widely as he stood up from the chair, he faced Jack. Luke looked into his eyes.

“Are you cool with this?” he asked softly. Jack smiled as he reached up and wrapped his arm around Luke’s shoulder. On his tippy toes, he began to walk with Luke towards the dining area.

“I am cool with this but I have rules,” Jack announced loudly. Everyone else began to pay attention too. 

“Aw nice! You told him, this is great,” Cole cheered before he tossed back a shot of vodka. 

Y/N smiled towards Luke as she leaned against the dining table. 

“I have exactly four rules,” Jack said as he pulled away from Luke and stepped beside Cole and took a hold of one of the tiny shot glasses.

“Get ready,” she teased as Luke walked towards her. Delicately resting his hands onto her waist.

“First rule! No hands!” he waved his hands towards them. Awkwardly, Luke pulled his hands away from Y/N’s body, stifling a laugh. He furrowed his eyebrows as he looked into Y/N’s eyes. “No mouths, I don’t wanna see it,” Jack said before he tossed the shot back. He shook his head. 

“I second that rule,” Quinn encouraged before he tossed back his own shot.

Jack continued to list the remainder of the rules. Everyone else nodded along with each rule. They agreed to every last detail. Jack was animated with dramatic hand gestures in the process. All Luke could do was laugh. 

“So basically, you want us to act like nothing ever happened?” Luke asked with a grin on his lips. Jack nodded while crossing his arms over his chest proudly. Luke shifted his gaze towards Y/N, raising his eyebrows slightly. She nodded very discreetly. “Oh, so you don’t want to see this?” he asked teasingly as he delicately rested his hands on her lower back as he leaned towards her, kissing her urgently. 

“Stop it!” Jack shouted while laughing. “Already breaking the rules!” he yelled as he pushed Luke away from Y/N. All of the other boys started laughing and wolf whistling. 

Luke kept his hands onto her waist as he leaned his head against her shoulder. She reached up and rested her hand against his neck. 

“Too much, too soon. I need more alcohol,” Jack let out while shaking his head, still laughing. Quickly, Jack poured himself another shot. “Someone take a box or a bottle, let’s get on the boat. So I don’t have to be watching this,” he mumbled as he took a hold of the vodka bottle and began walking out of the lakehouse. 

All of the other guys laughed along as they followed him out of the house.  Each of them taking a box of seltzers and leaving Luke and Y/N alone. He smirked before he leaned towards her, kissing her desperately. She giggled as she leaned away.

“Hey,” she mumbled as she ran her thumb across the side of his neck. 

“Hey,” he muttered as his gaze lowered towards her lips. “His rules are stupid, right?” he asked as gaze remained on her lips. She nodded before she leaned towards him, kissing him desperately. 

“Come on, before we get into trouble,” she mumbled against his lips. He smiled softly as he reluctantly stepped back. He held out his hand towards her and she happily took a hold of as he guided her towards the exit. 

~Three days later~

He was laying shirtless on her bed, only a pair of black sweatpants covering his frame. She entered her room a towel covering her frame. Her eyes widened as her grip tightened around her towel. 

“Luke! What the hell!” she said as she looked over his frame. He smirked as he did the same. Pressing his lips together, he fought a grin forming to his lips. 

“Hey,” he said simply as he leaned back on his elbows as he continued to admire her. 

“No hey, you are in my room and I don’t have clothes on,” she said while walking towards the closet to find something to cover her frame. Luke stood up from the bed excitedly. He stepped towards her excitedly, a smirk toying to his lips.

“Um, you know,” he swallowed hard as he scanned her frame. His cheeks started to pink up. “Boyfriend’s tend to see girlfriend’s without clothes,” he let out shyly. Her eyes widened as her mouth fell open. She tried to stop herself from laughing. 

“Well, boyfriend, if you think that this is the first time you’ll see me naked then you are strongly mistaken,” she let out teasingly. His lips fell into a pout as he continued to scan her frame. “Turn around and close your eyes, please,” she let out smiling. He smirked as he slowly turned around and closed his eyes.

“Thank you,” she sing songed. She dramatically dropped the towel towards the floor.

“Now that’s just mean,” he said as he chuckled. She reached into her closet and took a hold of her matching pajama set. It was pink and silk and she quickly covered her frame. She ran her hand across her stomach. It was a thin tank top with a pair of loose shorts.

“You are so dramatic,” she said as she ran her hand across the center of his back. He tilted his head back as he swallowed hard. “So cute but very dramatic,” she mumbled. He chuckled dryly, his eyes still closed. 

Slowly, she took a few steps to face him. Delicately, she ran her hands across his chest. His body tensed under her touch as he bit his bottom lip. 

She glided her hands from his chest up to his shoulders before she landed on his neck. Her thumbs ran across the sides of his neck as she leaned up towards him and pecked his lips. 

“Can I open my eyes,” he asked softly. She hummed and he opened his eyes slowly to meet her gaze. He reached his hands towards her resting on her waist. “Fuck, you’re beautiful,” he mumbled before he leaned towards her kissing her urgently. 

He leaned down as he took a hold of her thighs. Instantly, she jumped up and wrapped her legs around his waist. 

Her hands ran through his curls as she deepened the kiss. Delicately, he lowered her down onto her bed as he climbed on top of her. A giggle fell from her lips as he pulled away, meeting her eye. “We’re not having sex in this house,” she said as she ran her hand across his jaw.

“I know,” he muttered as he leaned towards her as he pressed his lips against her jawline. Tilting her head back, he lowered his lips down her neck, trailing wet kisses.

Her breath caught in her throat, “I–I mean it, Luke,” she mumbled as she dragged her tongue across her bottom lip. He pulled the strap of her top off of her shoulder as he continued to lower his lips. 

He slowly began to suck against the skin beneath her collarbone. He dragged his tongue across the heated skin as he tugged at the ends of her top. “Luke–” she let out breathlessly. 

He hummed against her skin as he lifted his head up to meet her gaze. He glided his free hand along her side as he dipped his hand beneath the thin fabric of her tank top. “You can’t be doing this,” she muttered as she ran her fingers through his curls. 

He smirked as he pecked her lips. “You cannot be kissing me like that,” she let out as she looked deeply into his eyes.

“Why not?” he asked softly as he leaned down and kissed her softly. She whined against his lips, he chuckled as he smiled as he pulled away. 

“Because…” she trailed off as she scanned his features, “You just can’t kiss me like that,” she mumbled. He smirked as he leaned down and pressed his lips against hers. A muffled moan fell from her lips as he kept the pace slow. His hands were delicate as he glided along the skin of her stomach before he delicately tugged at it. 

“Do you want me to stop?” he asked as he pressed his lips against the corner of her lips. She took a deep breath as he kissed her jawline.

“No, don’t stop,” she mumbled breathlessly. He smirked against her skin as he continued to lower his lips along her skin. “Fuck,” she mumbled as she tilting her head back as she shut her eyes. 

There was a loud knock against her door and Luke lifted his head as he clenched his jaw. Her lips fell into a pout as she let out a groan. “There’s a fifth rule! No sex while we’re under the same roof!” Jack shouted from outside the door. 

Luke laughed as he rolled onto his back while shaking his head. He took a deep breath. He reached towards her, taking a hold of her waist and pulled her towards him. She smirked as she rolled onto her side as she rested her head into the crook of his neck.

“Oh my god, he’s going to be so annoying, isn’t he?” she mumbled as she pressed her lips against his neck.

“He’s going to be awful,” Luke let out while laughing.

---

when chappell roan said “you’d have to stop the world just to stop the feeling” and when troye sivan said “give me a call if you ever get desperate” and when renee rapp said “so keep on pretending, pretty girl” and suddenly you’re in seventh grade again in love with a straight girl who never liked you but maybe once she did

when you’re in love with your best friend, and it feels like carrying a secret so heavy it could crack you open.

when she leans her head on your shoulder, and every cell in your body lights up, but you have to sit there and pretend you’re fine. pretend you don’t dream of holding her hand forever, of taking her face in your hands and kissing her just once, just to see if she’d kiss you back.

when she tells you about the guy she has a crush on, and you smile, you always smile, because that’s what best friends do, right? we cheer each other on. but inside, something in you aches, this quiet, secret thing that hopes maybe—maybe one day, she’ll see you the way you see her.

it’s the way you know every detail of her: how her laughter changes when she’s tired, the way she twirls her hair when she’s nervous, how she only drinks her tea with too much sugar. and sometimes you wonder… does she know you like that? does she think of you the way you think of her?

you’d give anything just to know. just to know if she ever looks at you and feels that same skip in her heartbeat, that same quiet ache. but you don’t ask. you never ask, because it’s safer to stay quiet than to risk the truth that might break you.

and so, you sit there, loving her in silence, holding all the words you’ll never say.

The way I NEED to see these babes rage together 😭

Josh said about the Lando video on a stream, it was a video where they had to beat his lap time or something but they never put it out for a reason he doesn't know :( Lando's outraged gremlin squawks would have been fun

i feel like it would have made a good video!! he’s quite friendly with some of the sidemen i think so the chemistry would have been fun!!

---

⋆·˚ ༘ * oh, my, my, my ⋆·˚ ༘ *

pairings: quinn hughes x childhood friend!reader, jack hughes x platonic best friend!reader, quinn x artist!reader

warnings: angst and comfort, fluff

summary: you and quinn throughout the years, and how you fall in love <3

song: mary's song (oh my my my) by taylor swift

word count: 4.4 k

notes: I love lake quinn sm :)

★・・・・★・・・・ ★・・・・★

our daddies used to joke about the two of us, growing up and falling in love, our mamas smiled, and rolled their eyes

"oh, she's so tiny!" ellen cooes, cradling the little bundle of pink, "and she has your eyes, birdie."

your mother smiles at the nickname her college friend had given her freshman year, when a bird had pooped on her head during a girl's night out.

it stuck (literally), and almost 10 years later, as her best friend holds her babygirl, she's reminded of everything they'd been through together.

"congrats, man. the first girl in the family!" jim slaps your dad on the shoulder, the two men smiling at their wives.

"oh, she's just precious." you yawn, and all of the adults are reduced to an awwing mess.

quinn toddles over, chubby toddler legs still unsure. he lands on his butt half a foot away from ellen, who lifts him up with the hand that wasn't holding you.

"look, quinny."

quinn reaches out a finger towards you, and jim is about to chide him when your tiny little fist locks around it. his wide eyes widen even more. you gurgle happily at him, and for the first time in a while, he goes completely still, enraptured by the baby in front of him.

"oh." your father whispers.

"well, that's your son-in-law now," jim laughs.

"hey, don't count out jack! they're closer in age, after all."

your mom rolls her eyes, as ellen snorts, "let's not pre-write our kid's futures before they're five, please."

..••°°°°••....••°°°°••..

i was seven and you were nine, i looked at you like the stars that shine

"y'know, birdie," ellen starts, "the boys might be right."

"no, they cannot eat four pb and j's and then go to the carnival-"

"no, not the little ones!", ellen laughs, "our husbands. they might be right."

"oh, that? the whole son-in-law thing?" your mom grins, as she watches luke chase after you with a worm.

the two women are silent and thoughtful as you - screaming at the top of your lungs - duck behind quinn, who sternly tells off his little brother. your sticky hands lace with his, naturally, albeit a bit awkward the way only kids can be.

you absolutely adore quinn. he's your protector, the one you turn to more often than not. jack is your best friend, and you remind her of that often. luke is your baby brother, the one you coddle and fuss over.

and the boys adore you just as much; jack plays pirates with you all day, Luke follows you like a puppy, and quinn...

he's staked a claim on you that makes your mom laugh, but worry a little when your older and you inevitably find someone who isn't him.

it never occurred to her that he might be the one.

"oh my god." your mom says as your dad walks in with jim.

"ha! see? I know I put money on my son for good reason." jim says gleefully, and quickly pipes down at ellen's dirty look.

"jack is also your son, man." your dad shakes his head.

"seriously? you guys made bets on the future love lives of your prepubescent kids?"

"birdie, it's just a joke!"

he eats his words as quinn leads you through the door. you're in tears, a nasty scrape on your knee. he's got your hand cradled in his.

ellen and your mom fawn over it, how brave you were, but all you could remember is how quinn held your hand the whole time.

..••°°°°••....••°°°°••..

take me back when our world was one block wide, i dared you to kiss me and ran when you tried

when you're ten, you almost have your first kiss.

you're going through a phase, really, when all you would wear were your overall jean shorts, a big t-shirt and your red converses. you have little pen drawings all over your shoes and shorts.

now, when you look at the photos from back then, you cringe a little at how lanky and young you look.

you're with the boys at one of the neighbouring lake houses, a couple of other girls and a few guys too.

everyone there lived on the same block, so it was odd that you hadn't all hung out together before.

quinn can tell you're uncomfortable around the other guys, who are loud and frankly very obnoxious. even his 12-year-old self can tell.

he tells you that you can all leave and go get ice cream near the boardwalk, but you refuse. you're 10 already, you can handle a few new strangers.

somehow, spin the bottle is brought up and you find yourself sitting cross-legged as one of the older girls - who's kind and much more grown than you - tellsdyou how to spin the bottle.

your hands shake and the backs of your knees are slick with sweat, but you spin anyways. you want to seem cool and older too.

you watch the root beer bottled patter as it turns, the ting, ting sound dissonant with your thumping heart.

it lands on quinn.

your quinn who knows all of the words to the spider man movies, who gives the last popsicle to you and lets you tuck your feet under his thighs when you get cold.

this is a disaster, you think, because you don't know how to kiss! are you supposed to use your tongue? you almost gag at the thought.

quinn can see your very apparent panic, and the only thing on his mind was to make it of away.

he wants to hold your hand, but when you turned nine you had decided that boys had cooties, so you refused to touch him or his brothers.

"...we don't have to," he offers, scratching his neck. one of the boys boo, and you flush.

you shook your head, "i want to."

he smiles, shy and boyish and your heart goes into overdrive.

his face matches yours in colour as he scoots forward awkwardly, cupping your face the way he'd seen his dad do to his mom.

as he leans forward, you burst into tears. if you kiss him, and he's disgusted by your kissing skills - or lack thereof - he wouldn't be your quinn anymore.

you run out embarrassed, leaving quinn's hand outstretched and the older girl from earlier confused and worried.

you think that you had ruined it all, but later that night when quinn offers to take you to get ice cream and lets you get two scoops, you know nothing can tear the two of you apart.

..••°°°°••....••°°°°••..

take me back to the creek beds we turned up, two A.M. riding in your truck and all I need is you next to me

the year quinn turned 16, he gets his boating and drivers license.

when the first real day of summer - he doesn't count the days until he sees you and the lake house again - starts and he finds you making eggs and bacon in the kitchen, he gives you an offer.

"hey, chickie." he tugs playfully at the string of your apron. jim had given you that nickname because of your mom's. chickie, like a baby bird. jack liked to call you chicklet, and Luke followed suit.

the adults think you've outgrown that name, and only call you chickie sporadically.

it's become special for you and quinn, sacred even,

"hi, quinny." you answer in the same tone, swatting him with the spatula in your hand.

"give me a piece of bacon and i'll take you out onto the water. i'll even let you drive a bit when we're far out." he murmurs as you turn the stove off.

"really?" you squeal, and he winces jokingly.

"yes, yes! finally!" you throw yourself at him, letting the older boy catch you around the waist. he grins into your hair, his cheek muscles unused by the seasons without you.

"okay, kid. pipe down. where's my bacon?" he grumbles, but he smiles when you turn around to fix him a whole plate.

you forget in all of your excitement that he doesn't even like bacon.

it's pathetic, really, but he missed you. he still does even though you're less than a foot away from him, salting your scrambled eggs.

he finishes his food faster than you do, and leaves to set up the boat with your promises that you would hurry.

he's excited; he hasn't seen you since christmas, and then, he had to share you with jack and luke and his parents too.

that year, you and jack had become decidedly closer, and quinn knows he has to establish that boat time was for you and him only.

so when jack and luke both follow you onto the boat, whooping and screaming, he's pissed.

and on top of that, he has to drive the boat while you and jack banter and threaten to shove each other off of the moving vessel.

it wasn't fair: you're his person. you guys did gas station runs together, you always looked at him with sad puppy eyes when you were cold.

he'd always grumbled and give you his sweatshirt when you refused to bring a jacket and ended up shivering. you always begged to braid his hair when the sun was at it's highest and there was nothing to do.

so yeah, excuse him if he was mad that your time together was interrupted by jack and luke of all people.

so when you walk up to him, hair messy and wearing nothing but your bathing suit and one of his old hockey jerseys, he tries his best to ignore you.

"quinny!" you exclaim, nudging his shoulder, and once more when he doesn't answer.

he glances quickly at you, but one look is enough to make his chest squeeze in that way that it started to do since last summer.

you had always been beautiful, but you were starting to be seriously gorgeous.

your hair is windblown, skin tanned and freckled with eyes bright from the sheer novelty of it being summer again.

you'd started to fill out more; the tiny bikinis you - and he - loved made something hot tug in his lower stomach.

tucking your hand into the crook of his elbow in the way that always makes him soften like butter, "I thought you were gonna let me drive!"

"ask jack to teach you," he snarks, and regrets it immediately at the hurt on your face.

his chest tightens, like someone has taken the hurt on your features and shoved it between his rib cage so he couldn't breathe.

the two of you don't talk for the rest of the day.

quinn feels like an asshole, and he really doesn't like how you refuse to sit in your normal spot next to him during movie night, instead opting to tuck yourself between the edge of the couch and luke.

and the salt on the wound was when you don't laugh at the stupid jokes he makes for you, especially.

his mom asks him what he had done when he goes to get more popcorn in the kitchen.

"what? why did you automatically assume I didn't something?" he asked, offended.

"because, that girl sticks to you like a magnet," ellen smooths his temple, "and because no one makes you smile and talk like she does. you've been silent all day."

the next night, he shows up at the door of your room in the lake house your two families shared.

he knocks, and pokes his head in, "chickie?

you're at your table, drawing again like you always were.

he keeps the little sketch of him you made last summer in his wallet, tucked under the picture of all of the hughes boys and you.

you ignore him, and he flops on your bed. the floral sheets your mom bought when you were 11 smells like you. he tries not to be creepy and inhale - at least too noticeably.

"gas station run?" he asks.

you finally spare him a glance, "quinny, it's past one o'clock, and it'll take at least 20 minuted to get there."

"please? I really want chips."

you sigh, ever the martyr, and agree. neither of you mention how the hughes stock up enough snacks to last at least 2 months the beginning of every summer.

the battle of who cracks first kept on, until finally, on the way back from the gas station, quinn sighs, "I'm sorry.

you frown, clearly not impressed, "I don't even know why you're sorry."

"god, this is embarrassing-"

"quintin, i swear-"

"i wanted the boat ride to be just us two!" he exclaims loudly.

there was a beat of silence, only the chirp of crickets that crept in the tall grass you could hear through the open windows of jim's truck.

the light on the radio shined, 1:59 AM.

"what?" you ask, a little confused and very much flustered.

"i missed you, chickie, and jack is always monopolizing your time! you're my person and-"

"are you jealous?"

"what?"

"oh my god, you are! you're jealous!"

"no!" he splutters, grateful that it's pitch black outside, because he can feel his ears heating up.

you laugh, tugging at one of his curls, as he grumbles something about not letting you eat any of his salt and vinegar chips.

"quinny?" you ask a little while later, when he's pulling back into the drive way, "y'know that you're my person too, right?"

you look soft and sleepy, under the light of the car, in one of his hoodies and sleep shorts.

he swears he turns into liquid in the drivers seat.

..••°°°°••....••°°°°••..

well, i was sixteen when suddenly, i wasn't that little girl you used to see

"I wouldn't worry about that, chicklet." jack throws his arm around you, and you roll your eyes at the many girls starting to glare at you.

"I don't know what you're talking about." except you do.

there's a girl flirting with quinn, and she's pretty. she's got tattoos on her arms, and she's tall, almost tall at him.

you take a break from the self-deprecating comparison between yourself and her to admire quinn for one second.

he's gotten so tall and broad, all the signs of boyhood gone, except when he smiles that special smile for you. the one when his eyes get all squinty and he bares all of his pretty teeth.

your heart twists, because he hasn't smiled at you like that all summer.

you don't know what you did wrong. maybe he's outgrowing you. he'll be a college man next fall, and you're still in high school.

he's got the whole world in front of him, and well, you couldn't blame him if he didn't want to settle for you.

you realize your feelings for him the beginning of the summer.

or you uncover them, because if you're honest, they've always been there.

and right now, you're wearing your heart on your sleeve, because he looks so handsome in a tight black t-shirt and shorts, a backwards cap on his curls.

his biceps look huge, and between the teenage hormones and the two shots in your system, you want to climb him like a tree.

the more romantic side of you wished you had your charcoal and parchment, so you can copy down his likeness for when your old and greying and you can't remember how he looks illuminated by the moon and bonfire.

"yeah, sure. you're clueless." jack snorts, and he makes his way to the drink table at the party you're at.

you pass by Luke, who's preoccupied by a girl way too old for him, and go sit closer to the fire.

you're mad.

you're mad because you've dressed up real cute, in a tiny black tube top and denim shorts.

you're mad because your hair is curled the way quinn likes it.

you know that for a fact because every time it looks like that, he comes up behind you to wind his fingers through a strand. it was a hassle, and he won't even look at you.

"what's a pretty girl like you doing alone?"

it's a boy with mussed, brown hair and a nice smile.

he's cute. peter, or pierre, he introduces himself. he reminds you a bit of the boyfriend you had first semester of sophomore year.

you've had boyfriends, and quinn has had his relationships, but summer was sacred.

that's why you felt ill when you flirted with him, not because quinn was a mere 20 feet away, starting to glance over and frown.

quinn has always been a jealous motherfucker; you'd give it 5 minutes before he comes over.

you try not to gloat when he comes over in 2.

"hey, chickie. time to go." he tells you, taking you cup and winding an arm around your waist.

you roll your eyes, pushing him off, "no, I'm good here,"

quinn crosses his arms and puffs out his chest, biceps flexing in front of you.

the boy smiles - you've already forgotten his name, something p - and shrugs at quinn.

he's mad now, you can tell, but you wrap you're fingers around the other boy's elbow to egg him on.

"oh, for- that's it. c'mon."

suddenly, your feet are swept out from under you, and you're thrown over his shoulder.

you frown, realizing that you're in the air.

"hey!" you protest weakly as people turn to look at you. quinn continues his trudge all the way to where he's parked his dad's truck and dumps you on the hood like you weigh nothing.

"what are you doing?" he asks, eyes dark, "that guy is no good-"

"no! what are you doing?" all of your frustration pools in your throat, and embarrassing tears are starting to prick at your eyes.

"you won't even look at me all summer, you're flirting with some girl and you get mad at me? you're being such-"

he shakes his head, looking as exasperated as you feel.

"do you know how hard it is-" he breathes out shakily, "how difficult it is to control myself around you?"

"what?" you ask, heart beating in your ears, "what?"

"i have been in love with you since i was 12, chickie." his tone is begging, and so are his eyes.

he looks pained, and you want to relieve it so, so badly. but he still won't touch you. he's hovering away from you, like he has for the past month.

"i love you, and you see me nothing more than a brother, like how you see jack. and it hurts, here," he rubs the heel of his palm between his ribs, "to know that you'll never want me the same way."

"quinn-"

"no, let me talk. I've spent the past 6 years pining after you. I've tried to move on, but all...nothing compares to you. I want you so bad, chickie, but..." he turns from you, head in his hands.

now, if you weren't like 3 beers and 2 shots deep, you would realize that he can't really go anywhere because you're quite literally on the top of his car.

but drunk you is clearly a dumbass, because you think he's trying to leave. so you tell him what's actually on your mind.

"i love you!" you blurt out.

he turns slowly, "what?"

"i love you too. i thought you didn't want me because you're leaving for college, but i want you so bad, please-"

the next thing you know, he's between your legs, so warm and solid, pulling you in by your cheek like during that spin the bottle game 6 years ago.

you let him kiss you for real this time, you let him push up your shorts to feel more of your skin, you let him lick into your mouth.

he pulls away, and you whine, tugging him in again.

he laughs, which makes you laugh in turn, and you slide down the hood as you giggle. he catches you, because he always does.

"i love you." you tell him, and he flushes, nuzzling into your neck.

"say it again," he demands, just because he can.

"i love you, my quinny." you coo, and he wants to crawl into your skin and settle there forever.

"i love you too, chickie."

..••°°°°••....••°°°°••..

oh, my, my, my

"told you so." Jim tells the rest of the parents.

the four of them - the weirdos - are on the second floor, leaning on the bannister as you make breakfast with quinn.

well, you make breakfast and he's distracting you.

he's got his arms wrapped around your shoulders from the back, and the two of you waddle like a pair of penguins around the kitchen gathering ingredients for pancakes.

you're giggling, and he's got a half-smile on his face.

you look so happy together than ellen and your mom are ignoring jim's gloating.

they are even kind enough to ignore the exchange of money between the two men, after all, your dad had bet on jack and lost.

"i can't wait for their wedding."

"hold on, now!"

..••°°°°••....••°°°°••..

a few years had gone and come around, we were sitting at our favorite spot in town and you looked at me, got down on one knee

you're on Quinn's lap, content and warm. the two of you had gotten up to watch the sunrise, first day of the summer at the lake house.

it's nice to have everyone in one place again, the two of you coming from vancouver, the boys from new jersey.

the past couple of years had been hard; a year or two long distance, until you went to study architecture at UBC after quinn had been drafted.

this year, 24 and 22, you finally get some rest and the promise of settling down more.

quinn's captain, and you have a good job that lets you work remote and do what you love.

and more importantly, the two of you are always together.

"babe?" quinn asks, running a hand down your arms, "c'mon, let's go to the dock?"

you don't protest, just happy to be at your childhood lake house.

he leads you there, like he always does.

"pretty." you stare out at the water, orange and pink sky meeting in the still horizon.

"yeah." quinn gives you a smile, rare for anyone else.

but he has always smiled for you, and you greedily hoard them in your memories.

"got something to show you," he pulls his wallet out, the two pictures in the clear flaps catch your eye.

one is a polaroid of you and your boys. quinn is 15, jack is 14, you're 13 and luke is 11. all of you are lanky and awkward, wrapped around each other and grinning ear to ear.

the other is also a polaroid, taken by ellen a year or two ago, when all of your parents came to visit your Vancouver apartment.

quinn's arm is around your shoulders and you're clinging to his side, one hand curled around his waist and the other on his chest. you're smiling at the camera, and quinn is smiling at you.

"cute," you tell him, but he digs a finger into the little pocket.

"fuck," he swears when whatever he's looking for doesn't come out.

"here, let me," you offer. you retrieve a piece of thick parchment with your smaller hands.

it's a sketch of quinn you did when you were in your early teens.

it's not great, you have to admit. the lines aren't smooth like how you sketch now, but the ink and paper is in pristine condition.

"quinn...you kept this?" you ask softly, oddly emotional.

when you look at him, he has a weird look on his face. he scratches his neck.

you stare at each other for a moment, the familiarity of your love almost stifling in the cool morning air.

and then he drops down on one knee.

you start crying, immediately.

that sets him off, and the two of you are blubbering as he tries to get through the speech he wrote in his notes 7 months ago after he got the ring and you were in the shower.

he tells you he loves you, how he's never going to leave you, that you're going to build a life together, just like how you've done everything together since you were kids.

you believe him, because your quinn is nothing if not earnest and steady.

you let him slip the simple ring onto your finger, and he lifts you up into strong arms to kiss you.

you're so deliriously happy that your teeth clash with his in a smiling kiss.

your families cheers from the porch, and you laugh, watery and heart full.

jack runs up first, swinging you around and clapping his hand down on quinn's shoulder.

Luke kisses your cheek and hugs his older brother, as ellen and your mom hug you together.

jim wraps his arms around you, pressing his lips to your forehead, "thanks for helping me win the bet, chickie." you chuckle, reaching for your dad next.

..••°°°°••....••°°°°••..

take me back to the time when we walked down the aisle, our whole town came and our mamas cried, you said I do and I did too

the wedding takes place a year later, in a small winery near the house, because ellen and your mom refused to let you have the wedding on the dock.

this was your compromise, because it's a small affair.

your dad walks you down the aisle to quinn. you're smiling, like there's a hanger in your mouth because you're just so happy.

he cries when he sees you, and so do the other hughes boys.

you hear your mom and ellen, tears meeting shaky smiles on their faces.

your own college friend, your birdie, fixes your veil and holds your bouquet.

sweet promises are exchanged in your vows, and when you have your first kiss as mr. and mrs. hughes, all of your loved ones cheer.

quinn sweeps you off your feet and bridal carries you to a change room so you can switch into your reception dress.

he sees you later as jack, who volunteered to be the mc, announces you guys as mr. and mrs. hughes.

quinn's eyes are hot and dark as he sees your smooth skin under white lace, and whispers something into the shell of your ear that makes you pink.

you dance together, with his brothers and his dad, with your own too.

but the last dance is saved for the two of you.

"i can't wait to grow old with you, chickie." he whispers romantically.

"you'd make such a cute old man," you tell him, and he rolls his eyes.

you laugh, and so does he.

forever sounds real good to you.

★・・・・★・・・・ ★・・・・★

© sweetteainthesummerx.tumblr. all rights reserved. unauthorized copying, translation, or claiming of my writing or any works as your own is strictly prohibited.

---

This is so sad and sweet and cute and beautiful and agh. Miss Zee I love you

the love we left — carlos sainz jr

carlos sainz jr x fem!reader [8.8k] summary: you weren’t aware that your family’s worry had extended so far that they’d brought in the heavy artillery, it being carlos sainz of all people. the very same person who’d turned you into someone you didn’t recognise in the mirror anymore. warnings: 18+ explicit smut & language, very angsty, mentions of alcohol abuse and drug use, heartbreak, childhood friends, brother's best friend, public sex a/n: this has been sitting in my drafts, unfinished for a whole month so I went back and thought that it deserved a second chance. and voilà, here you have it! my very first carlos fic!! i'd love to hear your thoughts on this, because I love how this turned out. happy reading my lovelies!! x

The music was pounding, borderline rupturing your eardrum with good music that had you bobbing your head gently to the intimate beat. Everywhere you looked were bodies, moving in unison and hands roaming sweaty skin.

The bartender poured drinks like his life depended on it, and you watched him pour you another shot of tequila without a verbal request from you, shooting you a friendly grin and side stepping to help the next customer. You downed your shot, pulling a small face at the rancid taste as you made your way to the dance floor.

You didn’t know when you’d become this type of person. The person who’d spend their weekends in clubs, dancing the nights away until they got blisters on their feet and most likely woke up with their head in a toilet bowl. It had started out as something you and your girlfriends did, sneaking into clubs when you’d just turned legal, but then you’d started going alone because you found out that sitting in your apartment alone with your thoughts was way too much for you to handle.

You weren’t strong enough to deal with your emotions, preferring to find people and alcohol to distract you. It had worked out quite well for you and the multiple shots you’d taken over the span of two hours were starting to settle in your bones, buzzing right beneath your skin and giving you enough courage to seek out the dance floor.

Your body moved like it was an entity of its own, face tilted up to the ceiling and eyes closed as you felt the music. It rattled your bones and settled in your hips, the bottom of your heels sticking to the floor with every step you took.

I’ve never seen someone look so at home on a dance floor, he’d once said. The words came sneaking into your mind, unbidden. You could still remember the party, how your brother had bought the whole gang shots and you’d taken to the floor with laughter and happiness in your bellies. The DJ hadn’t been very happy when your brother and the man of the hour stepped up to the booth and completely took over with their non-existent experience of manning a DJ booth, but he’d relented when your brother had drunkenly explained that this man right here? He’s gonna be racing cars professionally, cabrón.

You were so far gone in your head, not even flinching at the pair of hands sliding over your waist and pulling you into a body. The person smelled of cigarette smoke and cheap cologne, and it made something roll in your stomach at the mix of it in your nostrils but you couldn’t pull away. He was yet another distraction from your messed up life, and you welcomed it in all forms.

If you let yourself take a step back and think of exactly why you allowed a complete stranger to touch you the way they were, you’d come to the conclusion that the reason was because the feeling of hands on your hips reminded you of him. That one damned night that changed you, that made you into this.

He’d cornered you against the wall, claimed your lips in a bruising kiss that left you panting and his hands. Fuck. His hands had gripped your hips so tight that you’d had bruises for a whole week after that encounter.

You’d thought that finally, finally the both of you would be together after years of pining; Spending your awkward teenage years wishing that your brother’s best friend would look at you as a girl he could imagine kissing, and not as his best friend’s sister and a family friend. But then he’d acted like nothing happened, leaving you in the dust with little to no explanation as he went to kickstart his career.

Bile rose in your throat as your brain entered dangerous territory, and you blinked your eyes open against the lights. It was blurry, and it took a few moments for you to realise that there were tears welling up in your eyes. You’d stopped crying long ago, but sometimes the tears managed to sneak up on you when you were vulnerable and drunk.

The hands on your body were suddenly too much, and just as you were about to run, someone grabbed you and yanked a little harder than you had been prepared for. You stumbled, a wordless shout leaving your lips when you were pulled to the side of the dance floor, legs struggling to keep up. It took a second for you to realise that someone had grabbed you and was in the process of dragging you off the dance floor, away from the sweaty and dancing bodies, away from the man who you’d danced with. Your eyes were scanning your surroundings, feeling too drunk to think of a good plan to escape so you settled for the only thing that would hopefully get someone’s attention.

Before you could open your mouth and scream, a hand settled right on your lips and muffled the sound, your eyes flickering up to the man in front of you in the hopes that you could shoot him the most pleading look through your eyes.

You found yourself looking into round and dark eyes, so eerily familiar that it made your stomach violently turn and you took a stumbling step back like shock itself had shoved you, turning around to promptly retch into a nearby trash can. You heaved and clutched at the edge of the bin with your hands, moaning miserably until it finally stopped.

“Come on, let’s get you outside.” His voice sounded somewhere behind you, somehow overpowering the pulsing music.

His hands grabbed at you, helping you steady yourself and you didn’t bother to spare him another glance as you weakly shoved his hands away. He didn’t fight you, nor say anything when you walked straight out of the club, legs feeling incredibly weak and hands shaking; like you were two seconds away from breaking down.

And you were. What the fuck was he doing here? Why would he come back?

The chilly air was welcomed when you pushed the back door open, stumbling out into the alley and breathing in, in an effort to sober up. You ignored your trembling hands as you dug around in your purse for gum, anything to get rid of the sour taste in your mouth but you doubted it would do much to settle the nausea roiling in your stomach.

You heard a scuffle behind you, causing you to freeze because you’d been hoping that it was all just your drunken mind playing tricks on you; Because it happened sometimes. It had happened in your dreams, and once when you’d smoked a dodgy rolled up joint and hallucinated him being there. But no, he was standing there when you turned around, eyebrows pulled together in that annoying frown he always wore whenever he disapproved of something. His face was passive though, eyes not giving away anything and it was so infuriating.

He’d always played the older brother, acting like he had some kind of right to decide over you just because he was your brother’s friend. But his feelings had been anything but fraternal, he’d made that very clear when he decided to fuck you and leave.

You swallowed, feeling nauseous as you stood staring at him.

“What are you doing here?” You asked, cursing yourself quietly when your voice shook. But you sounded stern, even in your drunken state and something about your tone made the man grit his teeth.

“I was worried—“

No. You didn’t need to hear the same old spiel again. He didn’t get to be worried about you, not anymore.

“What are you doing here, Carlos?” You cut him off, making him cringe at the way you said his name, sharply and angry - so differently from how you used to say it.

“Your family is worried about you.” He replied slowly.

The way he talked reminded you of someone who spoke carefully as to not scare away a skittish animal. It was very bizarre, the feeling so unreal that you had a hard time believing that your fucked up mind hadn’t decided to conjure him up on a random Sunday night. A few moments passed as you stared, and stared. He was truly there in the flesh.

You were aware that your mother had been worried, calling you every day to check up on you and you gave her the same old answer because what else was there to say?

You just weren’t aware that your family’s worry had extended so far that they’d brought in the heavy artillery, it being Carlos fucking Sainz of all people. The very same person who’d turned you into someone you didn’t recognise in the mirror anymore.

“I wanted to check up on you, see how you are doing.” He broke the drawn out silence, stuffing both of his hands into the pockets of his jacket like he didn’t know what else to do with them.

You remembered the odd habit he used to have, where he’d wring his hands whenever he felt out of place. It was such a minuscule detail that barely anyone took notice of, but you did. You always did.

Your eyes dropped to follow the movement, noting the casual jeans and the red hoodie under his black jacket. You quickly looked away, refusing to think about how good he looked.

“Well, now you have. So you can go.” You shot him a smile with no real joy behind it, turning around and walking down the alleyway in the direction of your apartment.

You knew that he wouldn’t leave you alone, and a big part of you wanted him to. But you couldn’t deny that one percent that wanted, needed him to stay.

The sounds of his footsteps let you know that he wasn’t far behind and you jumped like he’d burned you when you felt his fingertips touch your arm. Just a quick touch that lit your body on fire. Your eyes found his and you took a big step back, feeling your chest go tight at the slight downwards tilt of his lips, like he hadn’t expected you to react negatively.

“Nena, please. Let me walk you home, at least.” He said and your throat tightened up at the familiar pet name he’d called you since you were children and so incredibly naive.

“Don’t call me that.” You sniffled, bringing a hand up to rub at your nose. “You don’t get to show up here after two years and play the hero. I don’t need one, and I certainly don’t need you.”

“Lo sé.” He said, but he really didn’t know, did he?

You didn’t say a word, taking two steps before glaring down at your shoes. They had been a pain the whole night and now that the alcohol wasn’t doing its job of numbing the pain, your feet were starting to hurt from being pinched for the past few hours. You balanced yourself with a hand on the wall, slipping your heels off with a quiet grumble and shoving the offending footwear into the man’s chest. Carlos grunted at the unexpected force, hands coming up to catch the heels before they dropped and raising both eyebrows at you.

You weren’t looking at his face, but you could tell that he was baffled by your actions and it made you feel just a tad bit smug. If he was going to show up and insist on pestering you, he might as well make himself useful.

The concrete was uncomfortable to walk barefoot on, but it felt freeing and you took comfort in that feeling. Anything to not think about exactly who was walking a few steps behind you, feeling his eyes on you like hot coal on your skin.

“Do you live far from here?” He asked, tone cautious like he didn’t want to say the wrong things or set you off.

“No, why?” You turned your head to look over your shoulder and found him walking way closer to you than you thought. “Is the neighbourhood not up to your standards?”

You knew you were being petty now, playing unfair and it clearly annoyed Carlos as he looked away to avoid your cold gaze. It wasn’t his fault that he’d gone and got himself an even more lavish lifestyle where he raced cars for a living and got millions out of it. You’d always been proud of him, one of his biggest supporters before everything transpired and although you didn’t want to admit it out loud, you’d always keep tabs on him.

There weren’t enough fingers on your hands to count the amount of times you’d struggled to not pick up your phone and text him after he’d won a race, or if he did badly. The urge to comfort him and to be happy for him was still there, even years later.

“I live down the road.” You said, desperate to break the tension. “You can go.”

Carlos fell into step beside you, not sparing you a glance as he nodded.

“I know.” He said, but made no effort to leave you alone.

The two of you walked in relative silence, interjecting with small talk every now and then to fill the unbearable quiet that had blanketed over you. It took a few minutes for Carlos to relax, shoulders dropping like the tension was slowly seeping out of his body when he realised that you were beyond your anger now, speaking softly rather than the tone you’d carried a few minutes earlier. He didn’t like how you sounded though, mellow and short, like you’d given up on caring. It made something ugly swirl in his stomach to the point where he started to feel nauseous.

He was starting to spiral in his thoughts, trapped inside his head and just as he opened his mouth to speak, you beat him to it.

“How’s Ferrari treating you?” You asked and his head snapped to you. You weren’t looking at him, staring straight ahead with your mouth in a thin line. “You’ve been doing well lately.”

Carlos didn’t know if you were trying to act nonchalant and if you were, you were doing a piss poor job because he could see how you struggled to maintain a neutral expression on your face. He didn’t want to point it out though because his mind had finally caught up to your question, teetering along the edge of she’s keeping tabs on me.

“Yeah.” His voice was hoarse and he hurriedly cleared his throat. “It’s been good, felt like a dream when I signed the contract.”

You could still remember when he started karting, how he’d plead with his parents to buy him merchandise with the Ferrari logo poorly pressed onto the material. It had always been a dream of his, and something about him achieving it made you smile.

“I bet it was.” You said softly, glancing at Carlos to find him staring at you; eyes wide and searching, like he was taking in your smile. You hurried to look away, suddenly uncomfortable with the rush of old emotions storming back and taking residence in your entire being.

“How have you been?” He asked, genuine and curious.

You considered ignoring his question, not knowing how to answer him without making yourself out to be the most pathetic person to grace the earth. How could you tell him how you’d been in a downwards spiral for the past years? Could you even admit to the things you’d done, how you’d drank yourself to oblivion in hopes to numb yourself and worked dead end jobs to keep yourself afloat?

“I’ve been fine.” Your tone was flat, letting him know that you weren’t in the mood to delve deeper and thankfully he respected your wishes, keeping silent. “Well, here we are.”

You nodded up at the apartment complex you’d stopped in front of, suddenly feeling awkward as you found yourselves staring at each other with no idea how to proceed.

Carlos fidgeted as you stared at him, looking as anxious as you felt and it made you a little sad because you’d been better than this, once upon a time. You’d never known awkward silences or odd looks, but you’d somehow managed to go from close to whatever the fuck this was. Strangers. Ex-lovers. But could you even dub him as an ex-lover when you’d only slept with him once?

You took in the sharpness of his jaw, the stubble growing on it fitting him as well as you remembered but there was a certain edge to him that hadn’t existed last time you saw him. He looked fully grown up, like an adult who didn’t have time for children’s games and torrid love affairs.

Homesickness bloomed in your chest the further your mind delved into the past, suddenly wishing that things were different. Wishing that you’d swallowed your pride and picked up your phone.

Would he have answered? Did he change his number?

You swallowed excessive saliva in your mouth, trying not to grimace when it felt like swallowing gravel as your eyes traveled down his arm that he’d successfully managed to free from his pocket, hanging by his side. Your eyes latched onto the space between his thumb and pointer finger, where the tan skin was white and raised in a small bump. A healed scar that brought such a rush of memories that the words tumbled out of your mouth before you overthought them.

“Do you wanna come in?” You asked and Carlos couldn’t manage to hold his surprise in, eyebrows shooting up and jaw going a little slack. “Just… for a while.”

It probably sounded wrong, like you were inviting him with ulterior motives and you weren’t. Really. Just the thought of him touching you made bile rise in your throat and you realised that you weren’t ready. For any of this. But then again, would you ever be ready?

Whatever inner monologue you were running through in your head was halted when Carlos exhaled, glancing at the apartment building before nodding twice.

“Me encantaría.” He said, voice gentle.

You hurried to get your keys out of your purse, hands shaking a little and you didn’t know whether it was from your nerves being shot or the unhealthy amount of alcohol you’d consumed not even an hour ago. The door gave way when you turned the key and pushed it forcefully with your shoulder, stepping inside and flicking the light on.

It wasn’t much. A one bedroom apartment in a safe enough neighbourhood. Your brother had scowled and made his displeasure known when he’d helped you move in, even offering to find you a better place to rent out but you refused. Mostly because this was further away from your family and because it was yours. It had its defects and flaws, but you loved it from the moment you stepped foot inside.

Your brother and Carlos were like one person in two bodies, so you almost expected him to get his two cents in when he stepped in behind you and closed the door; Eyes roaming around and taking in the place. His face gave nothing away, as always, but then his brown eyes landed on you and his lips twitched.

“I like it.” He said, like you’d asked.

You gave a nod, secretly pleased but then you scolded yourself because why the fuck did you even care what he thought? Mierda.

“Glad to know you approve.” You muttered, annoyance pricking your heart and you didn’t know why. “Make yourself comfortable, I’ll just be a minute.”

You left him to his own devices, standing in the middle of the living area looking a little lost while you sought out the comfort of your bedroom. The door closed with a click and you hurriedly changed your clothes to something more comfortable, snatching your makeup wipes where they’d fallen on the floor to wipe at your face. Your makeup was smudged, embarrassingly so but you couldn’t bring yourself to care when your heart was racing a mile a minute, thinking of the man on the other side of the door.

There was a moment of panic where you felt that shit, you shouldn’t have invited him in because this apartment was the only place he hadn’t touched, soiled with his fake promises and lies.

The memories of you in his bed came back with full force, thinking of how you’d woken up in the middle of the night with a smile on your face that got wiped as soon as you touched the cold side of his bed. He’d been nowhere to be found, and you’d contemplated staying and hoping that he’d come back in the morning but then you’d found his contract on the kitchen counter and the packed suitcases you’d somehow skimmed over when you were wrapped up in him.

It had felt like a gut punch and it still did as you stared at yourself in the mirror, swallowing against the nausea swirling up from your stomach to your throat. Your eyes welled with tears, and you gave yourself a moment to silently cry before you wiped angrily at your eyes, reaching for your toothbrush.

You thought back on your younger self, how she’d been so happy to have finally caught the eyes of her brother’s best friend. After years of pining and hoping that he’d see her as something more than his sister. How he’d once wiped a thumb under her eye when she’d first started experiencing with makeup in her teenage years, and he’d softly said that you don’t need so much of it. You’re beautiful, nena.

You deserved better, but you didn’t know what better was. Was it in the arms of a man or the bottom of a shot glass? It was a terrifying revelation, to realise how fucked up your life had become and it was all your fault.

Closure. That was what you needed, wasn’t it? But you didn’t want to move on from him, because despite it all, you still loved him.

Carlos had his back to you when you came out of your room, staring hard at the frames on the wall and you briefly wondered if he noticed how you’d deliberately left out the pictures with him.

“I remember this day.” He said quietly without looking at you. His finger pointed at a framed picture of you and your best friend, at an animal sanctuary with your hands stretched out, feeding a giraffe. “You were so happy to finally see giraffes, no one could pull you away from them.”

You wanted to smile at the memory, but it was hard when emotion was still clogging up your throat. You embraced yourself and sat down on your sofa, making a small hum of acknowledgement instead. Carlos turned around at that, sweeping his eyes across the small area before settling on you.

“Things change.” You said, because they really did.

“Sí.” He sighed, taking a seat in the ottoman. The seat furthest away from you, you noted. “I have that picture in my driver’s room. Not that one, but a similar one where you’re by yourself.”

You knew what picture he was referring to and it made you frown. Why would he confess to that?

“Why?” You asked, because that was the question, wasn’t it? Why, why, why?

Carlos inhaled through his nose, biting the inside of his cheek.

“Reminds me of how simple life used to be.” He said, like it answered the million questions in your head.

You didn’t ask him to elaborate, because you didn’t want to hear it. It must’ve been difficult to lead such a fast paced life, hopping from one country to the other and spending hours on driving cars. You’d imagine that it got a little too much at some point, rendering you homesick and yearning for a simpler life. But it didn’t work like that. Life rarely went the way you wanted it to.

“Why are you really here, Carlos?” You asked, the question so sudden that it cut through the false sense of security the both of you had managed to build.

He stared at you, eyes unmoving and it was so unnerving that you looked down in your lap, pulling the sleeves of your sweater over your hands.

“I miss you.” He said, and you barely managed to hold in the scoff. Barely. “I miss us.”

“There was no us.” You interjected, spitting the word out like it was venom.

It might as well have been because Carlos hands curled into fists where they stayed in his lap, something he always did to reel his frustration in. Somehow, that angered you. You weren’t the one who walked out. You weren’t the one who left him behind.

“I kno—“

“No, you don’t!” You hissed, fury finally unfurling in your chest. “El problema es usted no sabe mi dolor o mi vacío. You just walk back into my life like I’m supposed to welcome you with open arms.”

Your breathing was picking up, chest heaving with the lack of air you were heaving in and it did nothing to stop the pricks of tears in your eyes as you raised your head to glare at him. Carlos looked taken aback, hands slack from the previous fists and his eyes looked… Sad. Regretful. It was so pitiful that you couldn’t help but laugh wetly and humourlessly, bringing a sleeved hand to wipe at your nose.

“I don’t know what to say.” He admitted after a painful silence.

You looked away, sniffling as tears started falling traitorously, tracking your cheeks and you hated yourself for it. The last thing you wanted to do in front of Carlos was cry, but it seemed like your heart disagreed.

“I don’t know what you want from me.” You said, quietly. “You’ve already had me and it wasn’t enough.”

“It was enough.” His voice was more forceful than you expected, making your stomach drop. “It is enough. The fault was never with you, it was me.”

“Cállate.” You shook your head. “Don’t do the it’s not you, it’s me bullshit.”

Carlos sucked his teeth in exasperation.

“You know I’ve always loved you, nena.” He said and it made you look up.

Love? For a moment, your heart stopped beating in your chest as hope flared in every crevice of your body. But you reeled it in just as quick, because if he called fucking and dumping love, then you were better off. You might’ve been damaged but you still recognised that you deserved better.

“I don’t know.” You set your jaw. “You have a funny way of showing it, if you do.”

He sat up in the ottoman, ignoring the groan of protest it gave under his weight. The both of you stared at each other for a second and it felt like the longest hour of your life.

“That night…” He began, trailing off like he wasn’t sure how to put his thoughts into words. “Nena, I didn’t do anything that I regretted, and I still don’t. The only thing I regret is leaving you the way I did because you deserve so much better.”

Something wet touched your throat and you hurried to wipe at it, realising that tears were still rolling down your face. It irked you.

Carlos sighed heavily, like the conversation was too much to bear and you agreed with that sentiment, for once.

“Then why did you? Leave?” Your voice was quiet, broken and you hated the sound of it.

Carlos pulled a small face like it pained him to hear you so broken down, and it sent a small zip of satisfaction through you. You wanted him to hurt like you’d hurt.

“Because I was scared.” He confessed. “I was scared about everything. Your brother, this new life that I got pushed into. It was too much and I was panicking that night. I just wanted to feel normal again.”

“So… you slept with me and left?” You laughed bitterly.

Carlos cut you a stern look that still, to this day, shut you right up. He’d always had the face for it, the round and wide dark eyes and the bushy eyebrows. He could look intimidating when he wanted to, not that he ever scared you but you knew when to shut up.

“No. I sought you out because you were the only person who feels safe, who feels like home.”

He said feels. Not felt. So did that mean you still felt like home to him? You weren’t sure what to think or believe, feeling nauseous and lost all of a sudden.

“I realise that I went about it completely wrong.” He continued when you still hadn’t spoken. “I have a lot of regrets in my life, nena. But leaving you in my bed is the biggest of them all.”

The confession felt heavy, riddled with underlying emotions and confessions that you weren’t really ready to confront nor unpack. It was exhausting, all this new information invading your every sense and Carlos must’ve sensed how overwhelmed you’d suddenly become, because he palmed the tops of his thighs and sucked his teeth.

“Do you wanna get out for a bit?” He asked and you raised your eyebrows in slight bewilderment.

“It’s two in the morning.” You replied slowly and that prompted a smile from Carlos.

The sight of it was so unexpected and beautiful that it felt like a sucker punch, making you look away before you started staring.

“That never stopped you before.”

Before. Before when you’d sneak out of the house with your girlfriends to meet up with other friends and go to the most obscure parties. And Carlos would always be the one to catch you in the act, whenever he stayed over the house. He’d never berate or rat you out, just smirk and tell you to stay safe. To call if you ever needed him.

“Fine.” You relented, standing up and making your way over to the hallway. “Do you have a car?”

“Yeah, I parked it not too far from here.” He regarded you silently when you reached for your shoes, slipping them on. “Are you going to go out like that?”

It didn’t sound judgemental, only curious and that’s why you shot him an amused stare instead of picking up a fight out of annoyance.

“Yes.” You said, short and sweet.

He gave you a long stare before nodding, and that was that.

Fifteen minutes later and you were sitting in the passenger seat of a Ferrari, speeding down the deserted highway. There was no clear destination in either of your minds, but you cracked open the window and let the wind whip your hair, closing your eyes for a moment.

The radio was playing quietly in the background, almost drowned out by the roar of the engine, but it was comforting all the same.

Carlos hadn’t said a word since he started the car, only hitting you with a do you want seat warmers on? to which you’d shook your head. But he was good company, silent and comforting, just like he used to be.

“I love this song.” You said softly when the voices on the radio drifted off, the familiar tunes of Lovers Rock filling the relative silence.

Carlos didn’t say anything, just reached a hand out to turn the sound up a few bars, shooting you a glance that you felt in your core. It was amazing how he still made you feel like that, like someone had reached down your throat and fisted your heart violently. It was a sickening feeling, one that was so addicting and dangerous but you still yearned for it.

You were still mad at him, but you could also see a clearer picture now that he’d given you his side of the story and apologised. It wasn’t that you forgave him - that would take time - but you weren’t holding a grudge as strong like before.

It was hard though, to not acknowledge how he still made you feel like the wide eyed teenage girl who’d once saw the stars and moon in his dark eyes, who’d feel sick with love and admiration for him.

Because love can burn like a cigarette,

and leave you alone with nothing.

There was an irony to the lyrics, one that seemed to fit your current life like a glove. Carlos cleared his throat.

“Are you hungry?” He asked, breaking the silence.

Your stomach still felt unsettled from the drinks you’d had and from him showing up and upending your life, so you shook your head in the negative and turned your head to look at him.

“No, thank you.” You whispered.

Carlos didn’t take his eyes off the road and you took the chance to look at him, taking in the sharpness of his jaw and his strong nose. His hair was longer than last time you saw him, floppy and soft without any product in it and it should’ve annoyed you how beautiful he looked. Like something straight out of a romance movie.

There were a slight shadow under his eyes though, looking a lot like a person who carried the weight of the world on their shoulders and you fisted your hands in your lap to avoid reaching out to swipe a thumb over the bags of his eyes. You’d been so swept up in your anger that you’d failed to realise that Carlos was probably hurting just as much, he just couldn’t show it or self-destruct.

“Estás mirando, nena.” His voice, paired with the pull of his mouth made you look away.

Warmth spread all over your body when you realised that you’d been caught staring, for far too long to play it off.

“Where are we going?” You asked, in desperate need to change the subject and Carlos noticed it, because his nose flared as he tugged his bottom lip between his teeth; Like he was trying to hold his smile off.

“La playa.” He said.

The air had chilled considerably when you stepped out of the car, the wind whipping your bare legs and you pulled your sweater over your hands to find some comforting warmth as you gazed out over the beach.

It was dark, completely deserted even by the boardwalk and it was perfect for you, not in the mood to run into anyone who might know the man who was currently walking a few steps behind you.

The sand found its way into your shoes but you paid it little to no mind as you hurried your steps to the shoreline, far enough that the water wouldn't reach you, but close enough to hear the ominuous sounds of crashing waves.

"It's cold." Carlos said and you turned around, taking in the scrunch of his nose as he glanced around.

"Es perfecto." You said, waiting until Carlos looked over at you to give him a tentative smile. There was something in his face that changed at the sight of your open and vulnerable expression, but you didn't stop to think too hard on it.

Instead, you reached for your oversized sweater and pulled it clean off your head, ignoring Carlos' sounds of mortified and confused protest. His voice climbed in octaves when you kicked your shorts off, toeing your shoes away before you began walking backwards toward the ocean.

"Ay, what are you doing?" He asked, taking a step forward like he wanted to stop you. "You're gonna get sick!"

You ignored him, only breaking eye contact when the current carried up the shore, frothy water licking your calves and it was so cold that you felt it in your entire being. A sharp gasp left your lips, but you were determined to get a dip in just to clear your head.

It had been a long night, and getting sick was the last thing on your mind as water enveloped you.

Carlos watched silently, though his heart was pounding against his ribcage whenever he lost sight of you for a mere second. You'd always emerge from the water, smiling like you were in your own world and that's probably what stopped him from stalking right over and yank you out of the bed of water.

You looked so free, the complete opposite of how you'd looked the entire night and he selfishly didn't want that look on your face to diminish. Granted, you weren't smiling out of joy nor were you directing it at him, but the burden on your shoulders looked a little lighter when you finally started walking out of the water.

He tried hard not to stare at your body, the skimpy lingerie doing absolutely nothing to hide the most private parts of you. Carlos didn't know if he was just imagining things, but you'd truly grown into yourself since he last saw you.

You were shivering when you reached him, arms embracing your upper body like they were going to provide the warmth you needed to not send yourself into shock. He shrugged his jacket off without thinking when you hurriedly redressed in your sweater, water still dripping down your hair and body.

Carlos was ever the worrier, sitting you down on the sand and draping his jacket around your shoulder. You didn't protest, happily accepting it with a stuttered thank you that had his chest squeezing.

"You've always been good at surprising me." Carlos said when a few minutes had passed. He smiled when you gazed at him, trying not to react when you shifted and accidentally bumped your thigh against his.

You pulled away slightly, looking out into the darkness.

"How long are you staying?" You asked, quietly and slowly like you weren't sure if you wanted to hear the answer.

You knew realistically that he couldn't stay, he wouldn't. Carlos had a whole other life to live and a job to tend to, but you'd foolishly believed that maybe he'd stick around.

Carlos had a crease between his eyebrows that told you otherwise though, and you knew what was coming out of his mouth before he even said the words.

"Two days." He replied quietly, the sound almost getting swallowed up by the rushing waves in the distance. "I'm supposed to be in Italy by now but I wanted to see you."

You smiled despite yourself, a small graze of the lips that had Carlos inhale through his nose.

"I'm glad you came." You confessed out loud, the very same words you'd been scared to utter for the past hour.

Now they were out in the open, and Carlos was staring at the side of your head like he'd maybe heard wrong.

"Me too." He said softly, watching you shift as a breeze blew by.

Your thigh grazed his and this time, you didn't move away, letting the warmth of your flesh seep through his jeans.

"I'm sorry for everything." Carlos pulled a leg up to rest his cheek on the knee, head turned towards you. "I wish I could take it all back."

"I know." You said quietly.

You looked at each other in silence and you took in the slope of his nose and the tanned skin. The apples of his cheeks were a little sunburnt, lips dry but oh so full and inviting. You stared at them, thinking back to how they'd tasted that one fateful night.

Carlos cheeks went a little pink at your scrutiny and you quickly looked away, feeling yourself flush warmth all over at being caught staring so obviously.

"Come with me." He said and you blinked, confusion marring your face when you turned back to look at him. "To Italy. Just to get away for a bit. You can meet my friends and watch me race."

You hesitated, feeling lost all of a sudden because you weren't sure if you were ready for it yet. But a small part of you wanted to go with him, to let go of this life of destruction you'd managed to envelop yourself in.

Carlos hesitantly touched your hand that you had in your lap, fingertips against the palm of your hand and that one small touch was so electrifying that you filled your belly with air, holding your breath until it hurt your chest before exhaling.

"Charles has a girlfriend who I think you'd get along with well. She’s very much like you." He continued, sounding an awful lot like a salesman and it made you smile. “You’d love her, I think.”

You didn't know who Charles was, but the name rang a bell and you took a shot in the dark that it was his teammate.

"I probably would." You replied slowly and Carlos pinched eyebrows relaxed a tad bit when you finally broke your silence, like your silence had built some anxiety. "Can I think on it? I just —"

"Yes." He interrupted you, like he completely understood. "You don't have to explain yourself. I'll be around for two more days so you can take your time."

You thought about your brother, wondering if he knew what had spiralled that night before Carlos left to start his career. Did he have a hunch or did Carlos tell him? All you really knew was that your brother had flown out plenty of times to attend races, so you knew that they were still in contact, and by the looks of it, good friends. He’d invited you along the first few times, only stopping when your polite no’s had turned into snapping.

“What are you thinking about?” Carlos voice brought you out of your thoughts and you realised he’d been looking at your face the entire time, trying to read your thoughts when your eyebrows furrowed.

“Does he know?” You asked and Carlos looked confused for exactly two seconds before his eyebrows smoothed out, a humourless smile twitching his lip as he gazed out at the ocean in front of you.

He pulled up both legs, resting his forearms on his knees and clutching his hands together.

“Yes.” He said and your stomach dropped a little. “He came to a race in Miami a year ago and I felt… guilty. He was talking about how you should come to a race sometime and how concerned he was for you.”

Your eyebrows jumped. Your brother knew. How much did he know? He hadn’t even brought it up with you, not once.

“I told him.” He let out a laugh with no real joy behind it. “He punched me, called me a motherfucker and left.”

Your mouth gaped open as you took in the new information, eyebrows raised so high that you were scared they’d get stuck in your hairline but you couldn’t bring yourself to relax.

You had never really been that close to your brother, close enough to spend some time in the same circle of friends whenever it was called for but you weren’t sit down and talk about your feelings close. It shouldn’t have surprised you that he hadn’t reached out to you and spoke to you about how you’d fucked his best friend, but he hadn’t treated you any different the past year. He still called and texted to check on you, expressing his worry whenever you gave him the old I’m fine reply. Now you knew why he’d been so gentle with you.

“I deserved it.” Carlos said after a stretch of silence, looking at you.

It made you sad for him then, and a little ashamed of yourself that you’d never stopped to consider how Carlos had felt in all of this. You’d always thought that he ran because he couldn’t deal with turning you down gently, but looking at him now? He was clearly struggling as well.

“You didn’t.” You said and Carlos pulled a face like he didn’t believe you. “I’m just a little horrified that my brother knows I slept with his best friend.”

The both of you smiled at each other.

“It’s not his business, anyway.” Carlos said, leaning his weight to one side so he could bump his shoulder against yours. “Just you and me, ¿verdad?”

“Sí.” You smiled like the words he was saying didn’t turn your stomach inside out.

Carlos looked straight ahead, and you scooted closer to him with a shiver, still cold and wet. He didn’t even hesitate to put his arm around you when your sides pressed together, leaning your head against his shoulder and basking in his warmth when a breeze blew by.

Your stomach was doing somersaults, twisting with nerves and a sense of giddiness and you really hoped that he couldn’t hear the harsh pound of your heart against your rib cage when he turned his head to press a kiss to the crown of your head.

“Te amo, nena.” He whispered, faint and intimate but it still felt like he’d reached into your bones and rattled them with a violent shake.

Hearing the quiet love confession come from his mouth stunned you, hope blooming in your chest as you picked your head up to take a look at his face. He was close, so close, and the inviting pout of his lips made it all the more difficult to resist pressing your lips against them.

Carlos inhaled sharply through his nose when you grazed your lips against his, a whisper of a touch that electrified you to the core. The arm around you tightened, pressing you closer as your noses brushed.

“Kiss me.” You whispered and Carlos did exactly that.

The press of his lips made you warm all over, hands coming up to clutch his hoodie when he pried your lips open; the touch of tongues making you push harder. It felt a lot like coming home, like universe had aligned itself, and you basked in the feeling of it all.

“Nena.” Carlos murmured when the kiss reached its end, lips touching yours as he spoke. He pushed his forehead to yours, eyelashes laying so pretty on the tops of his cheeks as he closed his eyelids. “I want you, I’ve wanted you for years. But maybe we should take things slow.”

You nodded, though you couldn’t resist stealing another kiss that he was all too eager to respond to. A groan rumbled in his chest when you placed both hands on his wide shoulders, letting him guide you to lay down on the sand.

It wasn’t as dark as it had been when you first arrived, but the faint light cast an almost beautiful shadow to his face as he hovered above you. His eyes were dark pools, staring into yours while his hand brushed wet strands of hair from your face. He crooked them behind your ear, cupping your cheek to bring you up for another kiss that had you whimpering for more.

Take things slow. Wasn’t two years enough? How much longer were you supposed to wait?

Carlos must’ve shared that sentiment, trailing his lips down your jaw to your throat in sucking kisses. He licked your skin, tongue warm against your flesh as he tasted the saltwater and you squirmed at the touch.

“Need you, Carlos.” You murmured when he pulled away.

He laughed breathlessly like he couldn’t believe the words you were saying, a hand travelling down your body with his eyes fastened on yours. You didn’t even dare to blink, staring at him until his hand found its way into your shorts and underwear, brushing his finger against your clit. Your eyelids fluttered shut, mouth going slack when he swiped his fingers through the mess of wet, bringing them back to circle your clit.

You grabbed him with terse hands, gasping and moaning while he brought you to a quick climax. It was sudden and fast, absolutely earth shattering when you climbed up to the edge and toppled right over. Carlos silenced your moans with his mouth, not kissing, just slotted over yours as he stole your breath and sounds.

“You sound beautiful, nena.” He murmured, fingertip nudging your sensitive clit just to see the way your mouth dropped open in a shivered gasp. “Missed that look on your face.”

“Carlos.” Your voice sounded pleading, hand sliding to the back of his head to bury your fingers in his hair. “Want you right now. Please.”

He let out a shuddered breath, pulling his hand out of your shorts to unbutton his jeans and zip them down far enough to fish himself out. You struggled to not stare down between the two of you as you kicked your shorts and panties off, marvelling in the sounds he made as he spit in his hand and jacked himself off; slicking himself up generously.

There was a moment where you looked at each other, unblinking and silent. His cock slid against you, slicking himself up further before his head caught where you were clenching in anticipation. It was stupid and reckless, to not use protection and to even do it so publicly but you needed him.

You couldn’t wait for another hour, and neither could he, judging by the way he slid inside with a gasped breath. Your eyes clenched shut as the intrusion locked your body up, finding comfort in his hands as he brushed your face and pressed kisses to it. You relaxed, feeling the girth of him stretching you out the further he pushed inside.

It had been a while since someone had stretched you to your limits like he currently was, but you were eager to feel every inch of him and you made it clear by wrapping your arms around him, spreading your legs further like an invitation.

Carlos let out a breathless laugh, pushing his lips against yours in a loving kiss and you lost yourself in it as he began thrusting. He hit you deep, kissed your spot with the head of his cock and the coarse hair of his groin rubbed deliciously against your clit.

It wasn’t romantic, not something you’d see in movies, but it was intimate and perfect for you. He conveyed so much in the movement of his hips, eyes stuck on you like he didn’t dare to look away in fear of missing every twitch and movement of your face.

You got a hand between the two of you, moaning and gasping when your second orgasm crept up on you. It made your head spin, how fast you’d been brought to the edge yet again and you clenched around him, screaming out your climax. Carlos wasn’t far behind, all kinds of curses streaming from his lips as he pulled out and came on your lower abdomen.

The stark contrast of his warmth against your cool skin made you shiver, still struggling to come down from your high. Carlos let out a drawn out groan that screamed of sudden exhaustion, grabbing the sleeve of his jacket to wipe the come off your skin before he dropped down; Half on top of you and half on the sand.

“Where are you staying?” You asked, voice a little raspy from how dry your throat was.

“My parents house.” He replied, eyes taking in the slope of your nose and the pout of your bitten raw lips.

You turned your head to smile at him, eyes fluttering as he pushed forward to kiss your mouth.

“You can stay with me.” Your voice was timid, a little shy and it made Carlos smile.

“Bueno.”

Carlos’ hand found your collarbone, stroking the pads of his fingers against the raised bone. His eyes caught on the glimmering necklace around your throat, heart stopping for a split second when the pendant caught the light and he realised what he was looking at.

The number 55 was staring up at him, so small but so glaringly obvious that he wondered how he’d failed to notice it.

You must’ve sensed his body language shift, eyes flicking over his face where it remained unmoving.

“I wanted to keep you close to my heart.” You whispered and it was like gospel to Carlos’ ears. “I never stopped loving you.”

His eyes flicked up to yours, face softening even more.

“Neither did I.”

He thought of the years he’d lived through without you, thinking of the missed time and opportunity he could’ve had with you if he had just picked up the phone. But it didn’t matter now.

Carlos gazed at your face, at the stars reflected in your eyes, and made a vow to himself to never let you slip away again.

---

Absolute beauty!!! Congrats on your first fic! 🫶

One of a kind.

Lando norris x RICCIARDO!reader

Tw: drinking, swearing, angst? Maybe, first ever fanfic so it maybe cringe just bare with me 😭

A/n : I'm sorry for what you're about to read. Will be continued with part 2

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Your brother was never really a brother. He was more of a dad or a overprotective uncle. But that didn't make your relationship any less. You guys were inseparable even though the 12 year age gap.

You followed him to almost every race since you could walk and talk. You went to every karting tournaments, f2 races, and f1 races. Even after he left to live in Monaco you still visited him in almost every race. You've seen him in torro rosso, red bull, Renault, and now McLaren. most racers and paparazzis never really realized that you were the sister of Daniel ricciardo since you never was in the garage or interacting with Daniel until way later after the race had ended. You never liked the idea of public attention and the paparazzis taking photos of you and posting rumours. After countless times of Daniel begging you to come to the garage you caved in and said fine.

It's Monza 2021, you finally showed to the world that you are Daniel's little sister, y/n ricciardo. As you entered the garage you heard someone yelling your name "y/nnn!! You finally came" it was none other than your brother. "Who's that?" You heard his teammate say. Lando Norris, he was 2 years older than you and honestly, pretty hot you need to admit. "This is y/n. Y/n ricciardo, my little sister and Don't even think about it Lando" your brother told him as he was unintentionally checking you out. He ignored your brother and walked up to you. "I'm Lando, Lando Norris." He put his hand out while smirking at you. "Y/n ricciardo." You shake his hand. While you started at him, you got lost in his eyes. His eyelashes, his blue eyes, it was mesmerising. "You okay?" He asked after a while. " Sorry" you panicked as he chuckled. "Good luck on the race" you told him as you basically ran away from him. "Hey Daniel" you said as you hugged him " I missed you".

" You litterally saw me two weeks ago" he laughed. "Well good luck on the race" you squeezed him tighter.

"lights out and away we go!" The commentator cried. It was a good start. Well it was decent. Max was leading like always with the Ferrari and mercedes following after them. Daniel was having one of the smoothest race of the season.

It was down to only about ten laps Hamilton and Max crashed. Everyone in the garage was cheering as Danny got P1. This was big. Everything was going smoothly. "In comes Norris from the inside! Pushing Charles leclerc to p3!" The McLaren garage was getting loud. "LAST CORNER AND IT'S A MCLAREN 1 2!!" everyone ran to cheer them.

Lando did his signature champagne jump and Danny did his shoey. It was amazing. It was a sight to see as all of the people cheered them on.

As the sun set, the party began. Everyone was coming up to them and talking to them about how good of a race it was. You watched from the corner where you thought no one would came up to you.

Far off in the distance you saw max and Lando talking as max was maxplaining like always. Next to them was Daniel who was taking glances at you making sure that you were okay. At the same time you could see that he was talking about you to George and Alex as he was pointing at you. You simply waved at them and smiled.

"Hey first time seeing you" a familiar french accent caught you off guard." if you don't already know I'm Pierre. Pierre Gasly" The French boy smirked at you like he was trying to suduce you." I wouldn't try to do anything if I were you. I'm y/n ricciardo."

"yeah. What she said".

"holy shit where did you come from" you turn to see your brother giving the death stare to Pierre.

"could have fucking told me that you have a sister Dan" he scoffed at Daniel as he walked back into the crowd looking for another girl. " I swear if I see another driver flirting with yo- For fucks sake! Lando are you out of your mind ?! I was gone for 20 minutes and you get wasted." Daniel ran to lando frantically as lando started taking what you assume was about the 13th shot this evening. He was wasted. Danny grabbed him and signaled you that it's time to leave the party.

"hey y/n ! How was the party?" Lando slurred his words as he asked " it was fine" you wheeze trying not to laugh at him. "What's so funny" he put his head on your shoulders as he yawned. "Oi lando. off." Danny glared at him through the rear view mirror. "You can't tell me what to do" he burried his face onto your cold shoulders. "It's fine Danny, he's not gonna listen to you anyways". The time passed like it was nothing with lando still on your shoulder; You finally see the hotel after about a 20 minute drive.

"what's your room number again lando?" Daniel asked as we got on the elevator.

"Dunno"

"how do you just not know it? Do you have your card key?"

"nope"

"are you sure you don't know?"

"actually I think it's 1203" he looks at you and smirks. You raise your eyebrows at him in confusion. Then realization kicked in, 1203 is your room. "No, that's y/n's room. Right y/n?" Danny facepalmed at the boy. " You know- Daniel you just go to your room I'll just sort him out" you pushed Daniel out of the lift as soon as the door for the 9th floor opened. " Lando ! Y/n-" you waved him good bye as the door closed.

Lando chuckled softly, breaking the silence. " I wouldn't say you did a good job on making your first impression on me. Getting wasted and coming to my hotel room and all that"

"yeah. I know" he smiled. His smile melted your heart.

Back in your room, he became a different person. You guess the alcohol was starting to go away a bit. "So... Are you feeling better now?" You broke the silence between you both.

"mm.." he grunted as he covered his face. He drops on the couch and looks at you ; You look back at him back and sigh. While heading to the kitchen, you hear land grunting and mumbling to himself. You grab to water bottles from the mini bar and hand it to him. It was a silent moment between you two. A long one, but it wasn't uncomfortable.

You hear him keep mumbling and grunting. Well he's was clearly trying to say something but couldn't find the words. It was honestly really cute. As he looks at you, you give him a little smile. "Fucking hell man" he scoffed.

"hm?"

"I'm sorry for a bad first impression, can I make it up to you Tomorrow?"

"are you going to remember anything tomorrow?" You laughed at him.

"y/n I'm not that drunk" he chuckled. You saw him start to get ready to go. " Did you finally remember your room?"

"yep. 1204"

"are you serious right now lando?" You give him the eyes of disapproval. He shrugs and he opens the door. " Well I'll see you tomorrow" he smiles as he takes another glance before he leaves.

"fuck!" You heard muffled voice shout. You couldn't help but laugh your ass off untill you couldn't breathe.

A/n : please have mercy it's my first fanfic.

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