Must Be Kinda Boring To Have A Team That Wins Constantly Bc At That Point It Must Not Come As A Surprise

Kyle being worried about his boy..

Your blog is the best footballer one shot/blurb account I’ve found! Can you do a Joe Hart blurb about you guys having a romantic moment/makeout session that gets interrupted by the boys?

Thank you, anon! I love how the England lads all call him ‘harty’ and respect him so much!

and you’re in his hotel room and haven’t seen him for weeks - you couldn’t get time off work immediately. And obviously if you haven’t seen him for weeks things are going to get passionate fairly quickly. He was hovering over you on the bed, broad shoulders contrasting yours, one hand up your shirt and on your waist, lips on yours, leg between yours. And it was lustful, full of moans and love, one hand running up his uncovered chest and resting on his neck, the other’s fingernails digging into his muscular back. ‘Ooo hartys getting some’, stood in the doorway was dele and John, smirking. ‘We’ll leave you to it’. And your barely acknowledged it, too focused on Joe to care.

The John Stones that played against Panama in the World Cup is the John Stones I want ok.

*chanting* Smutty Lingard smutty lingard smutty lingard smutty lingard smutty lingard Smutty Lingard smutty lingard smutty lingard smutty lingard smutty lingard Smutty Lingard smutty lingard smutty lingard smutty lingard smutty lingard Smutty Lingard smutty lingard smutty lingard smutty lingard smutty lingard

YES, chant it

So he’s subbed off after 70 minutes, sending you a wink and a subtle flick of the head to follow as he goes for his post-match shower. And you follow, cheeks heating up despite no one seeing, hurriedly finding the dressing room. Jesse is immediately on you, pushing you against the door, closing it as he does and locking it. Tongue in your mouth, hand in your hair, sweaty body pressed against yours and you moan into his mouth and he loves it. And he’s pushing you and his shorts down, head falling backwards and a string of moans pouring out of his mouth as you work on him. Tip first, teasing him, stroking him, head going further and further down, gaining a rhythm. And his moans are getting more loud and intense as he’s pulling you back up, mouth on yours again, pushing down your trousers, hand under the shirt with his name on the back, resting on your waist as he lowers you onto the cold bench, head between your legs. And then it’s you moaning, and your knuckles going white as his tongue and his fingers do their work, moving perfectly with his expertise (and you make a mental note to mention that later). And it’s when he comes back up, ready to kiss you again that there’s a knock on the door and the two of you pull up your clothes, Jesse unlocking the door to find Marcus at the front of a large group of footballers clad in red and you walk past sheepishly, all of them smirking at you and you laugh as you hear Rashford speak, ‘couldn’t even watch us win could ya?’

‘Well I had other business, beansprouts’.

As someone who’s struggled with sexual identity and just defines themselves as ‘probably not straight’ I related to so much of Daniel Howell’s new video. There was such small things - like leading a person on accidentally and being unable to be sexual with them because you’re terrified of the not straight side of you - that made me feel so simply not alone.

That video was so important to me because, for 45 minutes of my life, I felt validated and accepted and overwhelmed with this sense of hope for a future contentness I could feel about myself and who I really am. Even if I don’t know who or what that is. I can identify as ‘probably not straight’ or ‘I don’t know’ and be valid.

Thank you, Daniel Howell, Dan and danisnotonfire for surviving, in all your identities, for countless reasons, but the most personal to me; so that I could too.

Of course Ayoze Perez, currently hitting his decent end of season form as per, gets injured before the Liverpool match. Better be okay ffs

honestly i look up to tom holland’s version of spider-man because i too really want to date zendaya

John accidentally telling you he wants you to have his babies one day while laying around having a lazy Sunday

you’re lying on the sofa, a crap Netflix film on, hot mug in one hand and playing with your sock in the other. And he’s sat next to you, eyes vaguely staring at the screen but definitely not watching and it’s out of nowhere that he says it, just a quiet muttering of ‘I can’t wait until where doing this as a family’ and you’re taken aback, thinking you’ve misheard at first because he’s never expressed that want with you before. But by the way he’s staring at you - all warm and content - you can tell it’s sincere so you’re smiling back, sock being forgotten, reaching for his hand and giving it a squeeze - ‘I’d like that too’

Playing football at st. Georges park with the three lions and they’re letting you win and you’re so bloody annoyed and del is like babying you and it just so cute xxxxxx

And your frustratedly hitting the grass as dele strolls over and sticks his hand out: ‘come on, love’ and you’re refusing his hand, standing up yourself and crossing your arms over your chest. ‘Del, stop letting me win’ and he’s stuttering out a ‘no idea what you’re talking about’ and Eric is yelling over at the two of you to hurry up, dele grabbing your hand and tugging you back. ‘Eric, tell Del to stop letting me win’ and Eric’s laughing at Dele’s indignation; ‘she’s not stupid dele, she knows she couldn’t win unless we let her’. Game on Dier