→ England Dorks And Their Handshake❣️

loml part 2 x

25 - 30 for the asks ☺️

25) no players from my team play for England, but Freddie woodman is on the under 21s. A lot of them play for their own national teams though. Paul dummett plays for wales.

26) I’m going to go with the most recent one I can think of and it’s definitely schär’s messi-esque run during the Cardiff game. that’s probably not my all time favourite, but my most recent favourite

27) favourite match would be vs Arsenal when we were 4-0 down in the 26th (I think) minute and ended up drawing. Tiote with that 35 yard volley my god.

28) far too many bad Newcastle matches for me to pick I’m sorry

29) don’t really win many trophies nowadays (though we have like the ninth highest of all trophies by English clubs I think). Think I’ll just go with winning the championship because of the sole fact that everyone said we’d not win because most teams do badly when they get relegated. I don’t even know. Just felt good to win something. Obviously would’ve preferred not getting relegated. I’m not old enough to have experienced many of the others

30) I do like Newcastle’s crest yeah

i said that i could be just what you wanted      as if i could ever keep a promise           as if i could ever keep a promise

How’s Stones and the United photographer getting on they still texting ?

They’re texting everyday now. The odd flirty text seeping into the mass of ‘hows your day been?’ But it doesn’t translate to in person meeting and how can it not you live in the same city, you walk the same streets - how have you never seen each other since? And Jesse is teasing you whilst you photograph him in training ‘so hows my mate, John? Doing good is he?’ And you’d laugh at his childishness and snap a photo, desperate to read the unread message you know you’ll have waiting for you; ‘I’m free all of Saturday’

‘Yeah, how you spending that time?’

who let stonesy do this?

John taking you into the club toilet to remind you and everyone else you are his on a night out because you are wearing a tight dress and every guy is staring at you...

you were dancing in the middle of the club, body looking amazing in that dress he loved but he wasn’t watching you. Drink in hand, leaning against the bar, he was watching every other man in the club watch you - and he was angry. He couldn’t blame them, you looked incredible and he knew that and usually he wouldn’t even mind, knowing you were his but with the excess alcohol coursing through his veins he couldn’t stop himself from striding into the middle of the crowd of sweaty bodies, grabbing your wrist and pulling you to the toilets. ‘John what are you-’ and his moth was on yours immediately, guiding you towards the sink. ‘Jump’ was whispered across your face as he made his way to your neck, hands on your hips, pushing up your dress, grip so tight he’d leave bruises. And he uses his fingers to give you pleasure, kissing down your neck, your moans engulfing the dimly lit club toilets sporadically in contrast to the rhythmic movements of his hands. And it’s all about you, not him. He’s showing everyone you’re his - ‘moan for me, baby’ - and he’s holding you close as you reach orgasm, collecting your moans in his mouth, and pulling your dress down again. ‘Now go show everyone that body again, love, now that it’s been marked as mine’ and you slap his shoulder as you notice the marks on your neck in the dirty mirror.

and can you make a masterlist pleasee 🥺

I tag everything as ‘blurb’ and ‘*name* blurb’ so you can easily search it. I don’t think a masterlist would work currently because none of what I’ve written is sort of a full imagine/story thing. If I write more things like that I’ll definitely make a masterlist! I just wouldn’t know who to write about extensively first.

John Stones won the Premier League. Hadouken motherfuckers

goalies with shit defenders are braver than any us marine and deserve financial compensation