i grow with the same aches and pains in the same way that the house that i spent my childhood in did - the precise address and house always changing but the energy consistent - with groans as the wind blows past in unrelenting fury, with shudders as the heat boils down and with wails and the rain pummels down on the sturdy rooftop.
i grew steadily, but somehow shakily, like the strong bamboo outside my window yeah survives the tumultuous semantics of weather, yet bends at the lightest touch of breeze.
i wish to be like these childhood homes. steadfast and clean in their pure and joyful energy. i hope and pray as i grow that i can shed behind the parts of myself that i despise and have almost outgrown of, and that i can build myself anew.
i miss my childhood home, actually. even if i moved often as a child. perhaps i miss the simplicity of it all, of life when the most strenuous thing was moving a few streets away.
this is insane
i'm actually going insane because what do you mean the lines blurring between the physical and the mental effects, the "groans and shudders and wails" that might as well be you crying in the language of a building
the bamboo metaphor is absolutely genius because there's so much to unpick. the absolute unpredictable nature of it all? the irony of being able to withstand the harshest things but breaking down so easily when you're vulnerable. no one understands why you're so volatile yet so calm, so emotional and yet an adult in the body of a child. matured too fast, just as bamboo does?? actually incredible you're a genius???
the way this reads like a prayer and a promise is actually making me sick in the best way possible. i love the way it's hopeful but also so tragic. the fucked nostalgia you're capturing is something i've always wanted to describe and the fact that you wrote about this makes me feel understood but. in a way i'm sorry that i'm understood. it shouldn't be like that.
i'm so glad you showed me this because what do you mean you became the stable architecture and you are the house and you are now trying to be the walls that you were never certain would stay up for long enough
i'm so sorry you had to go through this, and i'm sorry that we're both able to bond over it, as beautiful as this poetry is. i'm keeping this one close to me. i hope you can get out of the circumstances one day.
thank you. thank you thank you thank you.
you think i’m weak? babygirl i can listen to julien baker’s entire discography without even shedding a tear.
guys i found my new favourite site. i can type faster and read at the same time?? this is a beautiful invention why did no one tell me about this
oh my god. barbara literally named cass. she named cass after cassandra from greek mythology. and she named herself after the oracle of delphi. barbara basically named cass after herself!!
because the difference between cass and babs is that no one listens to cass. at first she didn’t even know how to tell anyone, and when she finally did know her mouth wouldn’t work anyway. and when she does learn to speak no one listens. she tries to tell bruce that she is happy being batgirl but bruce fires her anyway because barbara told bruce that cass isn’t.
barbara thinks she knows what cass needs, and she does, but she doesn’t know how to go through with it so the way it ends up happening only hurts cass more. both bruce and babs project onto cass so hard, trying to give cass what they needed when they were young and cassandra doesn’t have the insight or information or words to tell them what would help her. cass thought it herself- “batman just wants another weapon in his war against crime and oracle’s looking for someone to live out her own shattered dreams” (batgirl 2000 #46)
cassandra hadn’t met her own mother yet and didn’t even know what a mother-daughter relationship would look like, had never seen a mother interacting with a child expect for maybe briefly on the street or on tv. but still, she recognized barbara as a motherly figure. barbara is the one she comes to when she cries, the one who protects her and advocates for her, brings her on vacations, who takes care of her, barbara is the one who named her. barbara is the one who cass left a note to before planning to die.
YOU relate to matt murdock because you have religious trauma. I relate to matt murdock because i have always had an intense feeling of shame for existing, have always felt like there was something wrong with my fundamental being, continuously disappoint my friends and family but cant seem to stop, have an extreme violent anger within me that i hate, and feel like i always need to be better. we are not the same
I wanted the past to go away, I wanted to leave it, like another country; I wanted my life to close, and open like a hinge, like a wing, like the part of the song where it falls down over the rocks: an explosion, a discovery; I wanted to hurry into the work of my life; I wanted to know, whoever I was, I was alive for a little while.
Mary Oliver, "Dogfish" in New and Selected Poems
Skip a beat in the bloodline.
Extra vers below:
I like this one better actually
Messy burger