Last Night, I Printed And Colored My Very Own Dream Date Garak. Now I Won’t Be Alone This Valentine’s

jumping off again about garak and moral convictions - two of the best examples of garaks... questionable morality in the show are broken link and in the pale moonlight. we really see in those episodes the kind of fucked up things he's both willing and capable of doing. what's interesting though is that broken link was a reflexive, panic response that came from him alone. like he hears the voice of the link say that the founders plan to essentially kill all cardassians, then he rushes as soon as he can to the weapons systems, fucks up bypassing the security system, and when he's caught, instead of backing off, he tries to attack worf of all people, like he'd have any hope of winning that fight. on his own, he came up with bad plan and got caught almost immediately.

compare that to itpm where he's working under siskos directives and you can see where he really shines. he anticipates siskos needs, going above and beyond. he prepares for contingencies and gives sisko as much plausible deniability as he can. he murders cleanly and efficiently. when he has sisko holding his leash he's an incredibly effective asset.

the Star Trek fandom always acts like either Riker or Kirk is the god of rizz in the Star Trek universe, and it's bullshit, when Quark exists right there.

he was literally pulling klingon widowers, cardassian enemies of state, trans ferengi, vulcan terrorists, amorphous he/they shape shifters. he constantly had men chasing after him too.

Kirk's womanizing ways were vastly overstated by people whose memories are clouded by age, and Riker's repertoire was the most generic humanoid hotties out there, whose personalities were basically omg i'd love to have sex with you do you like my skimpy outfit.

Quark was pulling much harder just by virtue of the fact that all of his pulls were people who had a good reason to not get involved with him at all, but couldn't resist in the end.

seriously. cardassian political scientist that hates him, ferocious klingon warrior who just wants to use him for political reasons, a trans ferengi who doesn't want to be outed, a Vulcan terrorist who REALLY shouldn't be helping him but does, and a cop.

he has that much rizz, mk?

trust me. I'm a scientist.

I have the qualitative data to back this up.

non sequitur ? uhhh ,i hope to be having a lot of seq uit her actually

You’ve NEVER considered this VACATION HOTSPOT!

With the news of a supernova threatening the Romulan homeworld, the Romulan Star Empire has started to open up its borders in a way that was previously unthinkable. With the planet’s days numbered, this is a vacation opportunity you don’t want to miss! However, let’s not pretend that a trip behind the neutral zone is now a holiday on Risa. The economy is collapsing in the face of armageddon and Romulans do not let their guard down easily. So we checked out the planet to see what you can expect from a holiday to this grey world.

Where to Stay

We were met planetside by our guides, Caidee and Kyuvok, who followed us everywhere during our stay. We stayed in the only hotel open to non-Romulans, situated in the capital inside a walled compound under heavy guard. Starfleet had told us to expect that our rooms would be bugged but hanging from the ceiling were very obvious surveillance devices that followed us around as we moved. We took this in our stride and began greeting them each morning.

Inside the hotel, we enjoyed a single Romulan restaurant. It was vast, but mostly empty aside from a handful of Starfleet personnel working on evacuation preparations. The restaurant’s single fixed menu (starring a grey-looking soup) got a little repetitive after a week but any visits to restaurants in the city proper were deemed unnecessary. Our guides explained that this restaurant was clearly the best that Romulan cuisine had to offer and mingling with the locals would be distracting to us. They also said that their food demonstrates Romulan ingenuity and self-reliance; they proudly don’t import a single grain and certainly don’t dabble in non-Romulan cuisines.

Tomb to the Glorious Dead

Caidee and Kyuvok ensured we had a full itinerary for our trip, starting with paying homage to the military dead; many of whom we were told died gloriously in battles with the Federation, Klingon Empire and various barbarian worlds. Kyuvok provided us with a bouquet of flowers to leave at the base.

The monument itself is a group of Romulan centurions in 23rd century uniforms carrying an imperial banner. The figures are besieged by rather barbarous and demonic-looking figures I was told represented Federation corruption. It was a little hard to make out the details as the monument is around half a kilometre high and we were viewing it from the base but I’m told the detail on the faces is the most intricate in the galaxy and carved entirely by Reman “volunteers” (note: the guides do not understand the use of air quotes for sarcasm so feel free to use them liberally in conversation).

Imperial Theatre

After that, we saw a play at the Imperial Theatre about how the Romulan Senate bravely defeated the rebel Shinzon and his Federation allies. I queried Caidee on the accuracy of these events but she assured us that Romulans would have a far better understanding of these events considering how oppressed Federation subjects are only fed propaganda by Vulcans. 

It was interesting to note that many of the people in the audience looked very similar to each other and moved to clap in perfect synchronicity. Kyuvok dismissed the idea that the seats were padded out with holograms and it merely demonstrated how Romulans were in perfect sync as a single, perfect society.

Caidee offered a recording of the play to take home. I suggested we could trade holonovels; her eyes lit up at our description of Captain Proton. Alas, after a glare from Kyuvok she explained that Romulans have no need for corrupt Federation stories. It’s at this point we realised why we had two guides for such a small group. 

The Firefalls

On the third day, we asked Caidee to take us to see the firefalls at Gal Gath'thong. After a loud “debate” with the Tal Shiar officers stationed outside our rooms, Caidee announced gleefully that they’d love to show us. The shuttle had its windows blacked out and seemed to make so many course corrections we could have sworn we’d circled the entire planet before arriving at our destination. 

The falls indeed were magnificent, even if we had to view them through a chainlink fence in a small supply compound a kilometre away. We wish we could show you, but all our holo-imagers were confiscated on arrival along with all our communicators. We did however catch a glimpse of someone outside the fence being chased by uniformed officers. 

We were told by Caidee, as she hurried us back into the shuttle, that it was a Vulcan spy. Vulcan spies appear to be everywhere in Romulan society and are responsible for everything that goes wrong; Caidee says it’s common knowledge that the supernova is a Vulcan plot against the Romulan people because of their deep-seated jealousy ever since Romulans left Vulcan. 

The Tal Shiar Museum

The following day it looked like Caidee had been replaced by a different Romulan, but Kyuvok assured us Caidee was still Caidee and had just changed her hair to one of the alternate state-sanctioned looks. There are 5 haircuts allowed on Romulus and anyone deviating from them is usually suspected of being a Vulcan spy.

That proved to be a suitable segway as Kyuvok and new-hair Caidee decided we should see The Tal Shiar Museum. This exhibition outlined the work the Tal Shiar does to ensure the safety of every Romulan against galactic threats. Displays condemned traitors and spies who the Tal Shiar have executed to keep the people safe, including M’ret, Toreth, Jean-Luc Picard and Spock. We asked Kyuvok about how Picard could have been killed when he made a speech to the Romulan Senate recently. This, apparently, is a Federation lie because Picard was killed by the Tal Shiar in 2365, 2369 and 2379.

Conclusion

Romulus is still fairly closed and sadly we couldn’t talk our guides into a trip to the palatial Senate building or anywhere else exciting. But when they returned our equipment to us as we left we found they had filled our holo-imagers with picturesque landscapes and historic buildings we didn’t even know existed. So they were at least gracious enough to give us a slideshow to share! 

We did of course hand all our gear to a Starfleet liaison to remove the tracking software that had been installed.

It may not be Casperia Prime, but it looks like Romulus is only around for a few more years so best book your trip today! After all, the rate at which they put Federation visitors on trial for espionage has dropped 13% in the last year so you're safer than ever.

Summer Drop

As I’ve announced earlier, I’m going to make another drop of art to purchase in summer. This time I plan to introduce some new things and maybe make it more diverse. But I’m not sure what you are most interested in. If you have something in mind, please let me know here!

uh

promotional poster of bisexuality

I was talking to @paper-erythrocytes and described Bashir thusly, she said she needed it on a shirt, so here you go!!

I wanna see my little boy

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH YAAYYYY

to fight my artblock i decided to redraw some gerard p donelan comics as ds9. but once i started i could not stop....

so heres all deep space 9 of them. lol. again the poses and captions are lifted straight from his comics all i did was put space guys on there! please enjoy

(id in alt text btw!)