Favourite Things To Say Before Doing Something Incredibly Stupid:

Favourite things to say before doing something incredibly stupid:

Hey everybody watch this

I'm God's favourite

I'm always right and I'm never gonna die

(Person nearby) gets my crap if I beef it

I'm way too sexy to fuck this up

It's okay I've done this a hundred times

This is gonna to be on purpose

Hello you're watching Jackass

Check out this cool magic trick

If I die I want you to tell people it looked really cool

Wanna see a trick I learned in prison

It's okay, I saw this on TikTok

This is only illegal in Massetchuschessetts

My dad used to do this all the time before the divorce

If you're a cop you have to tell me or it's entrapment*

I'm doing this as a prank

Could a mentally ill person do THIS

Out of two thousand possible futures this is the only way we live

I have to. (Stupid thing I'm doing) killed my mom

The government doesn't want you to know this is even an option

I'm about to become so powerful you have no idea

More Posts from Starboardharpy and Others

1 month ago

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1 year ago

Oh yeah! For the next chapter, would I have permission to mention the 'Gay Doritos' art and link it? :3

Yeye of course! :D I'd be honoured, dude :>

11 months ago

all goofing aside I genuinely don't understand the urge to reimagine Taylor Allison Swift as a secretly queer icon when the pop music scene(TM) is like. literally overflowing with women who actually like women. Gaga and Kesha and Miley and Halsey are right there. Rina Sawayama and Hayley Kiyoko and Rebecca Black and Kehlani and Victoria Monét and Miya Folick if you're willing to get slightly less top 100. Janelle and Demi for them nonbinary takes on liking girls. like what are we doing here. like I'm not even saying you can't enjoy Taylor but why would you hang all your little gay hopes on her.

1 year ago

I think you'd like this :> @feelo-fick


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1 year ago

Imagine if you had a neighbour who keeps performing songs from Phantom of the Opera in his apartment every night, by himself but accompanied by a parrot, which he has taught to sing Christine's part. Admittedly it's kind of obnoxious but you are far too baffled to even be properly annoyed. And also you don't want to confront someone with that kind of power and determination. So every once in a while you just hear this guy dramatically bellow

"SING FOR ME!"

[ASTONISHINGLY HIGH-PITCHED PARROT SHRIEK]

1 year ago

I think having a baby niece is great cause my brother will send me just a constant stream of messages that sound indistinguishable from how someone at Jurassic park would text if they were being hunted by the raptor

I Think Having A Baby Niece Is Great Cause My Brother Will Send Me Just A Constant Stream Of Messages
I Think Having A Baby Niece Is Great Cause My Brother Will Send Me Just A Constant Stream Of Messages
I Think Having A Baby Niece Is Great Cause My Brother Will Send Me Just A Constant Stream Of Messages
I Think Having A Baby Niece Is Great Cause My Brother Will Send Me Just A Constant Stream Of Messages
I Think Having A Baby Niece Is Great Cause My Brother Will Send Me Just A Constant Stream Of Messages
I Think Having A Baby Niece Is Great Cause My Brother Will Send Me Just A Constant Stream Of Messages
I Think Having A Baby Niece Is Great Cause My Brother Will Send Me Just A Constant Stream Of Messages
I Think Having A Baby Niece Is Great Cause My Brother Will Send Me Just A Constant Stream Of Messages
1 year ago
SEE YOU IN HELL, PUNK

SEE YOU IN HELL, PUNK

1 year ago
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starboardharpy - .°:•* Mako :°.*•
.°:•* Mako :°.*•

header by calebauer || he/him || multifandom artist (whatever I'm hyperfixating on currently) || no thoughts, head empty

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