The First Time He Says “Lily” It’s In Their First Year, First Time Around The Gigantic Gryffindor

The first time he says “Lily” it’s in their first year, first time around the gigantic Gryffindor table. It’s the first time they meet. It surely won’t be the last time he says her name, they have seven years ahead of them.

The fifteenth time he says “Lily” is in Flying Class. He usually refers to her by her last name, he doesn’t care if she likes it and she doesn’t care if he does. It’s a mutual agreement. As Lily’s feet take off the grass, James is the first one to congratulate her.

The 68th time he says “Lily,” is in their second year and he needs his ink back. Lily is known to get lost while she is writing a Charms essay, she gives it back with a small smile.

The 97th time he says “Lily” is in their third year, he almost never uses her name anymore, they don’t talk much anyways. She finds him obnoxious, he finds her magical. it’s stupid, they are young.

The 103rd time he says “Lily” is when he is unable to control his anger. It’s the first time he hears the word Mudblood. Lily gives him stares as cold as ice before she deals with Lestrange herself. It’s in their fourth year, they barely talk now.

The 159th time he says “Lily” is in front of everyone but it’s barely a whisper. Snivellus glares at him and others snicker. It’s right after an exam, he makes a fool of himself. They stop talking. He doesn’t think he will ever say her name again.

The 171st time he says “Lily” is when he is drunk with the other Marauders. They really don’t speak anymore, not even for common courtesy. She hates him and he deserves it. He takes another shot of Firewhiskey and talks about how the drink reminds him of her hair.

The 202nd time he says “Lily” is the first day of seventh year. He acknowledges her presence, gives her a stern nod. They are Head Boy and Head Girl after all. She gives a shy smile. Something’s changed.

The 209th time he says “Lily” he is having a hard time breathing. His mother is gone and he is in shambles hiding in Minnie’s class, crying. He hates it when people see him crying, she holds his hand.

The 257th time he says “Lily” it’s between short breaths. Her nails in his back, his fingers in her hair, his arm around her arched back. It’s both urgent and relieved. Everything becomes undone.

The 268th time he says “Lily” it’s followed by a whispered “I love you”. She is taken aback but she says it back and he thinks “this is the happiest moment of my life.

The 308th time he says “Lily” it’s a scream as he catches her after she is struck with a curse. His scream rips through the night as he carries her while sending curses left and right. He is not one to leave his friends behind but for her, he doesn’t think for a second more.

The 315th time he says “Lily” is when he asks her to marry him. She says “yes”, it’s a miracle. He can’t believe it, he can now call her by her name forever.

The 329th time he says “Lily” is when they are getting married. Wands hidden in their robes and eyes teary, they say “I do”. He still can’t believe she said yes. He calls her by her name more often now, “Evans” doesn’t have the same ring to it anymore. 

The 389th time he says “Lily” is when her belly is as big as her and she says it’s time. 

The 391st time he says “Lily” is when he holds his son for the first time. He is crying happy tears for the first time in many months.

The 476th time he says “Lily” is when he tells her they have to go into hiding. He is the one to give her the news that their son is marked for death. It breaks his heart to a thousand pieces but he stays strong for them. 

The last time he says “Lily” he knows, he knows it’s the last time he says her name. He savours it, he lets it hang in the air for a moment before he lets it go, then he puts himself between him and them. No one says “Lily” like him ever again.