Puts Satan In A Cheese Grater.

Meow meow

KITTIES !!!!!!!! yayy :3

Every time I see >:3 this plays in my head

Dimentio getting run over (Crack)

Okay but for a real one, fluff fic with him and his sister (if you hc it) getting up to no good mischievous acts even /silly

Thank you so much for the ask!! I don't really hc his sister, but if it's okay I'll just write with Mimi instead. They're kind of like a brother and sister, right?

Dimentio has been staying at Castle Bleck for about a month now, and it isn't nearly as exciting as he had hoped. He was currently invisible, sneaking away to do one of the only fun things in the castle : piss people off. He snuck down the corridor to Mimi's room, and cracked open the door.

"Hey! Dimentio! I told you not to come in my room!" Mimi shouted. This was an unforseen complication, for he didn't know she was still in her room. But there she was, laying on her bed, flipping through various magazines.

"Perhaps... we can work together, like a pair of drumsticks belonging to the most the most famous percussionist!" Dimentio offered, not quite in the mood to be impaled by gemstones.

"You mean like a truce or something?"Mimi asked skeptically.

"Indeed! Imagine how much fun we could have! Think of how much damage we can cause!" Dimentio said, rather excited.

"Oooh, could we prank Nassy?" Mimi asked.

"We will bother her like a pair of hornets!" Dimentio replied.

And so they were off. Mimi had the idea of putting a red sock in the wash with all of Nastasia's white shirts, effectively dying them all pink. Dimentio, meanwhile, replaced all her shampoo with toothpaste. They put ketchup in her shoes, and hotsauce in her leftovers. After they had done all the damage they could, they had to search for a new target.

"How about O'chunks? We definitely can't prank the count," Mimi suggested.

"Splendid idea!" Dimentio exclaimed. This was the most fun he had had in a while. Since... he shook his head to clear it. That was a long time ago. There's no going back now.

"Come on, Dimmy! Let's go!" Mimi urged. So off they were once again, replacing the pre-workout with flour and the chalk with itching powder. They put glue on all the weights and benches. Just as Dimentio was putting vinegar in O'chunks' favorite water bottle, Mimi asked him a question.

"Hey, Dimmy? What were you thinking about earlier? You seemed sad," she worried. Dimentio was saved from replying, because right when he opened his mouth to respond, Nastasia started doing laundry.

"MIMI! DIMENTIO! GET DIWN HERE!" Nastasia shouted. Turns out running from an angry secretary is quite the bonding experience. Maybe they really can be friends...

Thank you so much for the ask! I hope you guys can send more, if you're able to!

Help me convince my mom to name our new cat Lasang

he had a face not even an almond could milk

Oh, pain! That’s not good.

Someone looked down at their foot, the thickened skin torn and chewed. They’d peeled too many layers and their nail stabbed through the last one, the corner of their heel was trickling blood.

Panic welled up, they didn’t like blood. Blood meant something was wrong, something was hurt. Blood stays on the inside, they cannot bleed—shaky breaths, shaking, shallow, breaths. Why are they so worked up? They had forgotten why, why can’t they remember anymore?

Not that they ever could, not that they couldn’t, they can’t remember.

Another stab of pain brings them back, they’d begun picking, picking, picking, again. It’s a bad habit. They applied pressure to the wound. That was what they were supposed to do, right? They  lifted their hand and thought for a moment.

No, don’t pick at their hand! They couldn't pick their hand, people would see it, it’d be exploited—shaky breaths, slower, deeper, breaths. Is that even your hand?

You need to calm down.

Your eyes flickered to the wall in front of you, where were you? It didn’t seem familiar, but then again, you weren’t familiar with anything. 

The wall was? Gray? You squinted, it didn’t look like any color, more like a mash of pixels on a broken screen. Maybe it was your eyes that were broken. Your breath slowed.

You pondered the idea that you were just looking at a screen, perhaps it's just a post on tumblr that’s dragging you in by the collar. You blinked.

Turning your head, you realized it was dark in this room. Too dark, someones hand reached back towards your foot. You paused, you remembered.

Their breath sped up, They don’t like the dark. What’s around them? Their vision focused, blood pounded in their ears. Someones in there. Wait. You’re the someone.

You remembered again. You’re the someone. You listened for a moment, nothing. You’re the someone. You took a deep breath. You’re the someone.

You’re in your room, what time is it? No, that’d stress you out more. Your eyes were heavy, maybe you’re tired.

You look at what you’re sitting on, it’s your bed. Looking at it makes you ache, you hadn’t slept due to your fears. The bed was so inviting and you were so, so tired.

You felt yourself lie down and breathe.

And everything was okay.

*gripping your shoulders and shaking you* you gotta promise me one thing, if nothing else. you have to promise me to live, do you hear me. and if it's for nothing else but spite, LIVE. donald trump wants you to feel defeated and alone. let's show him and all the americans who voted for him that we will not stay quiet, we will not be devided and we will LIVE. we will survive that 78-year old felon, we will OUTLIVE him. so please reach out to friends and family, reach out to each other and STAND TOGETHER.

PLEASE, LIVE!

A Tutorial.

Kunikida calls Dazai twice a day to check up on him. And I hc that when Dazai getting his stuff which got confiscated by the staff of Mersault. He takes his phone and has multiple voice messages from Kunikida.

Dazai starts listening to them and it’s everything Kunikida would usually to say him. Checking up on him, giving updates etc Dazai laughs to himself when Kunikida correctly guesses what he’d say if he was talking to him.

He checks the number of messages, it’s two for everyday since Dazai’s been gone. Kunikida never stopped checking up on him even when Dazai couldn’t answer. Dazai had missed those phone calls, they’d become a part of his day and he had missed Kunikida, the Agency so much.

He smiles and hits record, it’s about time he replied.

Glitter force but I gave them all guns