You Silly Little Internet Person

Every time I see >:3 this plays in my head

THIS IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL POST IVE EVER READ

Obey Me! Brothers as Fathers

Kinda part of that Poly! AU I’ve talked about before. So this can be read as either that or separate. The kids are all original characters, but MC can be read as any gender in this. Remember- this is Devildom so any way of kids happening could go. Either surrogate, magic ways, or natural so literally, anybody can read this. (Male, Female, Gender Neutral, whatever you prefer is all Welcomed <;3)

Not my best work, but I like it enough to post it. So yeah…

Enjoy^^

AOT Link- https://archiveofourown.org/works/46350262 

Masterlist- Link

Warnings?- Talks of violence (Satan’s), Use of the word Sl*t and derogatory terms/harrasment (Mammon’s) and that’s mostly it. Asmo calls someone a b*tch but thats basic Asmo at this point.

Lucifer——————— 

He feels the urge, the one he’s felt with his brothers for years. To sigh, to pitch his brow, an outward showism of his displeasure of the situation.

But he ignores it because he knows what reaction he’ll get from the little girl at his feet. She’ll curl up tighter, grip the plastic of her glasses tenser in those small hands of hers.

Practically achieve the exact opposite of what he wants.

He manages a silent sigh, joining her level in a kneel.

“Lillie..” The noirette head doesn’t budge much, if only, just to bury further. He doesn’t comment and instead runs a soothing palm across her back. Soothing out the creases along her small uniform. “What’s the matter? Do you no longer want to participate?”

Keep reading

She smelled my fart

I love people who comment on ao3 sm like look at you little internet person say dogs noises I know love it

Oh, pain! That’s not good.

Someone looked down at their foot, the thickened skin torn and chewed. They’d peeled too many layers and their nail stabbed through the last one, the corner of their heel was trickling blood.

Panic welled up, they didn’t like blood. Blood meant something was wrong, something was hurt. Blood stays on the inside, they cannot bleed—shaky breaths, shaking, shallow, breaths. Why are they so worked up? They had forgotten why, why can’t they remember anymore?

Not that they ever could, not that they couldn’t, they can’t remember.

Another stab of pain brings them back, they’d begun picking, picking, picking, again. It’s a bad habit. They applied pressure to the wound. That was what they were supposed to do, right? They  lifted their hand and thought for a moment.

No, don’t pick at their hand! They couldn't pick their hand, people would see it, it’d be exploited—shaky breaths, slower, deeper, breaths. Is that even your hand?

You need to calm down.

Your eyes flickered to the wall in front of you, where were you? It didn’t seem familiar, but then again, you weren’t familiar with anything. 

The wall was? Gray? You squinted, it didn’t look like any color, more like a mash of pixels on a broken screen. Maybe it was your eyes that were broken. Your breath slowed.

You pondered the idea that you were just looking at a screen, perhaps it's just a post on tumblr that’s dragging you in by the collar. You blinked.

Turning your head, you realized it was dark in this room. Too dark, someones hand reached back towards your foot. You paused, you remembered.

Their breath sped up, They don’t like the dark. What’s around them? Their vision focused, blood pounded in their ears. Someones in there. Wait. You’re the someone.

You remembered again. You’re the someone. You listened for a moment, nothing. You’re the someone. You took a deep breath. You’re the someone.

You’re in your room, what time is it? No, that’d stress you out more. Your eyes were heavy, maybe you’re tired.

You look at what you’re sitting on, it’s your bed. Looking at it makes you ache, you hadn’t slept due to your fears. The bed was so inviting and you were so, so tired.

You felt yourself lie down and breathe.

And everything was okay.

DAZAI HEADCANNONS

1. Prosthetic eye, mostly wears one that has a smiley face on it

2. Constant headaches: I feel like he would also have migraines on a regular basis, stemming from a car accident

3. Double jointed: it just see it, no real reason

4. He is a archeology nerd, ask him about anything revolving it and he will go on for hours

5. He cuts his own hair, mostly because he knows the way he likes it and thinks if he let's anyone else touch it, it'll be messed up forever

6. He loves headpats, favorite sign of affection

7. He has chronic pain in his legs but refuses to admit it

8. He can't cook, but CAN bake, suprisingly well

9. He adores little kids. Who doesn't though

10. He constantly fears everyone will either

A: forget about him or

B. That everyone will hate him

It'd be a shame if I were to. . .POST PICTURES OF MY CATS

Please someone get them out of my head

You accidentally cross a witch, and she curses you, saying “You can only speak lies”. Unfortunately, this makes it so you can only say the word “lies”, and the witch admits she’s an apprentice that screwed up the spell. Now you’ve teamed up with her to figure out how to undo it.