What does your fem!stan look like? Sorry, i just realized you rarely describe how she looks and im dying to know how you imagine her đ
True, I donât! Iâm flattered by your enthusiasm! đЎ
I imagine any fem!Stan as a... femme, so to speak. Thatâs because I see canon Stanâs over-the-top, exaggerated masculinity as largely performative; he wants to please Filbrick, to be a âmanly man,â tough and aggressive, because thatâs how his father and society (especially in his formative years) thought that all men should be. Fem!Stan, then, to me, would fall straight into the opposite category: she would start to perform hyperfemininity, instead! Thatâs what would please her father the most, imo, her most useful mask. So, in this way, both Stan and fem!Stan are trying to fit their assigned gender roles the best they can, even if they sometimes (utterly) fail.
I imagine that baby fem!Stan started as tomboyish, but with time, as she grew up, started getting more and more feminine. I headcanon she did theater classes instead of boxing classes (because again, her dad believes 100% in gender roles), and as a result sheâs less aggressive and more genuinely charismatic than her canon counterpart. I picture her with long, slightly wavy brown hair, big brown eyes, very curvy and plump, and girly clothing. She has acne too, but she covers it up with makeup.
I have also written a fic in which both Stans are girls, called Queens of New Jersey, here. In QNJ, their physical appearance is a little more described, and my descriptions of fem!Stanâs (Melanie) can easily be applied to my fem!Stan (Stefanie) in the AU where Ford is still a man.
For context, my fem!Stan in QNJ is called Melanie, nickname Mel. My fem!Ford is called Melinda, nickname Linda. All the excerpts below are from Lindaâs POV.
Baby fem!Stan (the tomboy):
Unlike Linda, who took secret pride in her long twin-braided hair, Mel could actually be mistaken by a boy if not for the too delicate facial features and high-pitched voice, not to mention the most recent development Linda was trying very hard not to think about. Her short curly hair, the fact she only ever wore pants or shorts and dirty sneakers, and her brash, bold as brass behavior were all indicative of her endearing (in Lindaâs admittedly, shamelessly biased opinion) boyish character.
Her small, slender arms concealed a physical strength Linda wished would be useful against their bullies. It wasnât, of course, since their tormentors were mostly girls and everyone knew girlsâwell-bred girlsâdidnât beat each other up, but it never failed to impress her. Mel was a rowdy little tomboy, no doubt about it, and as such would always look the part.
Teen fem!Stan (hyperfeminine):
Sometimes she missed the old Melanie.
The little girl who didnât care for skirts and make-up, all dirty nails and scraped knees, popsicle juice dribbling messily down her chin. A missing tooth instead of lipsticked lips, a bandage on her cheek instead of soft pinkish blush. She had been oh so much easier to understand, effortlessly in sync with Linda as twins should always be.
This Melanie was a new creature entirely. Even after almost two years, Linda still couldnât get used to its strange habits.
[...]
She cursed the day their father had decided to offer themâmore accurately, force them to attendâtheater classes. The day Mel had finally understood that the way to please their father was to embrace gender roles instead of run from them, leaving Linda behind in the androgynous limbo of reason and science.
[...]
The shop had been short of options for curvy girls and Mel had been forced to rent it a size smaller, a knee-length puffy dress which made her look even moreâah, shitâcute. Very sweet, adorable even. Yes. Exactly. Plump like a ripe peachâno. Not likeânot like something that could be eatenâ
Like a flower. A flower not yet fully bloomed, shaped round and voluminous, the softness of its petals still encased in a budâshielding an even greater, hidden beautyâ
Heavens above, Melanie was all softness.
[...]
Linda didnât understand much of fashion, but she understood just enough of what she saw. The dress was incredibly⌠form fitting, just as she remembered it being, hugging her sisterâs curves like a possessive lover. There was an abundance of flesh to cover, ever since Melâs body had developedâsimple biology, of course, it was only naturalâgrown cushioned and womanly like a Renaissance muse.
The cleavage was a tad too generous for Lindaâs taste, revealing far more of the smooth, creamy skin of the chest than she would have been comfortable with. They were squished by the bodice, and already quite large, whichâ
Focus.
It was a flattering outfit, perhaps all the more due to its smaller size. Objectively so. She was certain any manâany person with eyes would agree.
[...]
Linda couldnât comprehend why she felt so irritated, for lack of a better word.
Perhaps it was the contrast between her own body and Melâs, how overly feminine her sisterâs hourglass figure looked covered in pink, of all colors. Perhaps it was the perfectly coiffed brown curls, framing her sisterâs face in a highlight of her best features.
[...]
Because, even though Linda was not stronger than Mel, her hand almost dwarfed the perfect curve of Melâs waist, the slight narrowing created by her wide, feminine hips in her delicate, feminine form.
<3
Tumblr's great, it's so nice meeting people who share my incests I mean incests I mean incests I mean interests
"get a job" as an insult is so weak, you think getting a job is going to stop me from being a freak? i will post about brothers kissing on the clock. i will be a sicko on break and while i shit on company time. i will come home with money and commission artists to draw my freaky shit. nothing can stop me
itâs a new years miracle. i wrote canon stan. woke up with this idea and decided it was gonna be the only thing on my to do list
Ford would like to imagine that he is not a man prone to petty or grumbling complaints, but when his first conscious thought upon waking up that morning is that the sheets next to him are cold and then his immediate reaction to that thought is to let out a huffing whine that would not be misplaced coming from the mouth of a toddler, well, maybe he has to reevaluate a little.
Maybe a lot, because he then proceeds to spend a solid two minutes curled in on himself, stubbornly refusing to leave the warmth that he has maintained between the crumpled sheets and continuing to huff to himself that surely nothing could be so important as to draw anyone away from this cocoon of comfort and bliss. He ignores the pointed growling of his stomach and the pressure in his bladder that also demand attention from his now waking mind.
Freshly awake, Fordâs mind isâoutside of his petty grumbling complaintsâfoggy and sluggish. Itâs a luxury that he has only been able to afford in recent months and with much coaxing. So when he finally does pull himself up from the bed and is hit with the blast of cold air, he simply grabs up the comforter and wraps it around him before shuffling off to take care of the other immediate concerns.
The most immediate is finding his brother, but he does suppose he can take a quick leak first.
Stanley is not in the kitchen, although the smell of coffee does fill the air, so Ford knows heâs been here recently. Neither is he at the helm. Ford does not bother looking in his lab. Stanley typically avoids it unless he is harassing Ford in some mannerâgo to bed at a normal hour, eat real food, thatâs too much coffee, please for the love of God donât create a biohazard in this enclosed space in the middle of the ocean. Finally, Ford finds his brother up on the deck, leaning against a railing and staring out at the sun that, this far north and this late in the year, will not climb much higher in the sky today.
Ford does not think that he made much noiseâcertainly none that could be heard over the wind and wavesâbut as soon as he steps from the doorway, Stanley turns around. Theyâve never been able to sneak up on each other, not once that Ford can recall, so it makes perfect sense that Stanley just knew he was there.
One look at him, and Stanley throws his head back and laughs. Itâs a loud thing, from his belly, and the sound alone prevents the harsh arctic air from delivering any ill effects to Fordâs body. âCripes, Poindexter,â Stan says, his voice full of affectionate teasing. âI know youâre a human furnace, but that ratty thing ainât gonna cut it out here.â
He then walks right around Ford, who can only whine in complaint that his brother does not come close enough for Ford to latch onto, and disappears into cockpit. Heâs back in just a moment, Fordâs bulky coat slung over his shoulder. Stanley grabs at the comforter and wrestles Ford into the proper gear for their current environment. Ford simply stands there and takes it, not at all displeased to listen to his brotherâs biteless grumbling about frostbite.
Once he is properly in the coat, gloves, and knit cap, Stan replaces the comforter around Fordâs shoulders. âYou actually cold or are you doing your best impersonation of a teenager who just woke up?â Stan punctuates his question with a slightly too sharp clap to Fordâs cheek.
âOw,â Ford grumbles, although it does not hurt at all. He huffs at his brother, which only makes Stanley laugh again.
âYou look like a chipmunk,â he says. âIt wasnât cute when you did that when we was kids, and itâs not cute now as a grown ass man.â But considering the way that Stanleyâs eyes are sparkling, the way he looks at Fordâs puffed cheeks and wild curls not at all well contained by the knit hat, the way that his teasing smile is a bit softer at the corners of his lips, Ford must surmise that his lying charlatan brother is, in fact, at least slightly charmed by Fordâs sleepy, if a bit immature and childish, disposition.
That he has charmed Stanley stirs the always lit embers in the pit of his stomach, fanning the flames just a bit higher. However, the feeling of delighted contentment is not enough to stop him from pursuing an all too pressing manner.
âWhen we were kids,â Ford corrects, and Stanley groans and rolls his eyes as dramatically as possible. Ford does not bother to hide his grin, which might be crossing into dopey territory.
Stan shoves him a bit, and says, âYou stop with that shit, or Iâll be forced to dump this right out into the ocean.â From seemingly nowhere, Stan holds up Fordâs thermos and waves it enticingly in Fordâs face.
âNo,â Ford whines pitifully and makes grabbing hands at it.
Stan chuckles smugly. He throws an arm around Fordâs shoulders and leads him over to the railing. âCome on, Poindexter. Letâs get you caffeinated. This is pathetic.â
They settle onto the bench, and Ford takes the opportunity to press in close to his brotherâs side, unfolding the comforter enough to also envelop Stan. Stan plucks his own thermosâhis covered with stickers from one of Mabelâs care packagesâfrom the nearby cup holder, and silently, comfortably, they turn their gazes back out to the horizon. Ford sips lightly at his coffee. Itâs the perfect temperature, which means that Stanley must have prepared it along with his own drink when he first woke up. It has the perfect amount of sugar and cream to suit Fordâs sweet tooth. Made with love, as are all things that Stanley gives to him.
Ford drops his head onto Stanâs shoulder and asks, âWhy did you get out of bed so early?â
Stan huffs a light laugh. Ford knows it would have been louder and livelier, but heâs likely reluctant to jostle Ford around. âYou have less than no idea what time it is,â he says.
âIrrelevant,â Ford states.
Stan takes a long, slow sip from his thermos. âWasnât any reason,â he says. âJust thought it would be nice to check out the view.â
âIt was nicer in the bed,â Ford grumbles, and Stanley doesnât answer that. Ford waits a moment before shifting his head just enough that he can get a glance at his brotherâs face. There isnât any particular emotion standing out. He seems peaceful and content enough, but Ford doesnât have the best angle to see his eyes. Stanleyâs eyes have never been able to fool Ford.
The thing about the bed is that it isnât the only one on the boat. The thing about the bed that Ford woke up in this morningâthe bed that he almost always wakes up inâis that it isnât Fordâs bed. Fordâs bed, theoretically, is the bunk above Stanleyâs, the same as it was when they were kids. As soon as they were old enough for their own individual beds, they were given bunks. It was a space saver, as there was no chance they would ever be given their own bedrooms, and two growing, rowdy boys needed all the space they could get for play. Ford had always taken the top bunk. Stanley was scared of heights. Ford doesnât even remember whyâit had just always been like thatâbut even that little bit up the ladder had been too much for him. It was no hardship, and when they still wantedâor neededâto cuddle and be close, it was the easiest thing in the world to pull down his pillow and an extra blanket and settle into Stanâs bunk with him.
Itâs what they still do now. Ford very rarely makes the climb up that ladder at the end of the night. Whether they go to bed at the same time or whether Ford has finally hit the wall after a long day of adventure and research and drags himself up from his lab, far more often than not, Ford slides under the covers of Stanleyâs bunk and presses himself into his twinâs space. Stan accepts it each time without complaint. He accepts Ford simply lying there. He accepts Ford nestling himself into Stanâs side and using him as a pillow. He accepts Fordâs arms folding around him and pulling him back against Fordâs chest.
Ford thinks that it means all of the same things to Stan that it does to him, but they havenât talked about it. For all the leaps and bounds theyâve made since setting sail four months ago, they still havenât talked about this.
Ford knows how he feels about his brother. He has known for a very, very long time. It had, of course, been alarming back when he initially came to the conclusion that his feelings for his brotherâhis identical twin brother, at thatâwere not entirely platonic in nature, although certainly that brotherly feeling was always there as well. Of course it was alarming. He was not supposed to look at his brother and want to smash their faces together, to know the taste of his lips. He was not supposed to look at his brother and imagine trailing hands across his body, memorizing not only the sight but the feel of him. He was not supposed to look at his brother and be so overwhelmed with yearning and desire that the only thing he could possibly do to stay saneâdebatable, considering how wild he always felt in the aftermathâwas to take himself in hand and stroke until he exploded, Stanleyâs name always on his tongue.
Alarming, but Ford is certainly capable of incredible rationalization. He was already considered a freak. What was this one new aspect? If he kept it all to himselfâbottled up where it rightly belongedâit could do nothing to harm his brother. If Stanley didnât know of Fordâs desires, he would always continue to look at Ford with his sweet, trusting, loving gaze. Ford has always been the axis around which Stan orbited. Heâs always known that. He could always continue to be that if he just kept the simple secret. And even if he couldnât, if it got out, if by some miracle Stanley felt the same way, well, they were both of the same sex. Which isnât to say that the homosexual aspect of it all wouldnât have given them problems, but as to its connections to the incestuous aspects, well, two men canât procreate.
Not that Ford hasnât had plenty of fantasies in which he does his damnedest to try, but that is neither here nor there.
As teenagers, it was never truly a pure thing. Ford had rationalized it, but heâd also been resentful. Those feelings had come into play around the same time he had begun to yearn for separation from his brother, to for once be his own person and stand on his own merits, all without a hovering shadow that shared his face. It was a complicated thing, to love Stan that much, to want to absorb him completely, all while slowly suffocating with that closeness.
And then the science fair project. And then their father kicking Stan out of the house. And then over ten years of separation. Over a decade in which Fordâs bitterness only grew in equal measure to his longing for what had once been, the opportunities squandered. And then Bill. And then the portal.
For thirty years, Fordâs life was a constant type of hell. He had lived in fight or flight mode, and he was forced to become a type of person he would have never guessed, all to survive, all to keep going until he could finally achieve his goal of ripping Bill apart molecule by molecule in revenge for everything he had done to destroy Fordâs life. But for all the very real horrors, Ford cannot find it in him to entirely hate or regret his time out in the multiverse. Around the dangers, it had been the perfect sandbox, an endless place upon which Ford could exercise his vast intellectual curiosity. Sure, he could have done without being a wanted man with alluringly high bounties on his head across multiple dimensions, but oh, the things he had learned.
And one of the more profound takeaways had been just how many dimensions did not give two flying shits about who had sex with who, no matter the circumstances.
Well, it had only further cemented into Fordâs mind that his love for his brother was perfectly acceptable the way it was. It didnât matter the anger and bitterness that he refused to let go of. It didnât matter that Ford had no expectations of ever laying eyes on his brother again. All that mattered was that despite it all, he did still love Stanley, was in love with him. It wouldnât change. He was at peace with that much at least.
But now, Ford has let go of the anger and bitterness. After everything that happened, after what his wonderful brother did to save the world, to save their family, how could he ever continue to cling to those awful thoughts? Because Ford has been given the utter gift and miracle of laying eyes on his brother again. And not just that. They are together again, truly together. A dynamic duo once more. Itâs taken a lifetime of struggles and sorrows, but they are together on their boat, finally living out their old dreams.
Ford knows how all of this makes him feel. And he thinks he knows something of Stanleyâs thoughts as well. Because he can only rationalize it one way. Yes, Stan has always orbited Ford, always deferred to him and protected him and loved him. But thirty years. Stanley spent thirty years, his every thought, his every action all poured towards the singular goal of reopening the portal and getting Ford back. He had completely lacked the education or even the innate skill set to truly understand the advanced mechanics of it all. He had ignored every single warning of the risks and dangers. Stanley Pines had locked himself completely away, put all of himself on hold, all on the slimmest glimmer of a hope that he could bring back his brother, who, by all accounts, seemed to hate him. And in those initial weeks, Ford had given him no indication otherwise, and still Stanley had been prepared to leave, to fade into the distance, to give up everything once again if that was what Ford demanded.
Love is the only conclusion that Ford can come to that offers any sort of explanation.
Not to mention the looks, the touches, the sheer tension between them. But they havenât talked about it. And Ford does not know how to start that conversation.
They continue to sip their coffee in a comfortable silence until Stanley nudges Ford gently. âYour stomachâs been making enough noise to set off one of your monster radars,â Stan says, exaggerating, but not entirely wrong. âCome on, letâs get breakfast.â
Itâs a routine they have fallen into easily. Stan whisks himself about the kitchen with ease, cracking and seasoning eggs, frying bacon, buttering toast. Ford washes their thermoses and pours fresh mugs to their individual specifications. They each take only the smallest splash of cream, but Stan makes the time to huff a laugh at how many more spoonfuls of sugar make their way into Fordâs cup compared to his.
They set the table, and Stan slides into his usual spot on the bench. Typically, Ford takes the chair on the other side of the table, but he doesnât today. Today, the comforter still in play, he climbs onto the bench right alongside Stan, pressing in close. The only word to describe it would be snuggly.
âYouâve beenâuhâyouâre in a cuddly mood this morning,â Stan says, and they have been inside long enough that the pink tinge to his cheeks cannot be caused by cold, arctic winds. Still, Ford is a man of science. He needs to test that hypothesis.
âYes,â he says, âthe reason I was rather discontented to wake up alone in a perfectly cozy bed.â
Yes, Stanley does blush harder at that, his cheeks going from pink to a lovely red. Ford wants to press their cheeks together, to feel that warmth bleeding over into his own skin. He wants to kiss that gorgeous blush, to see how much redder it could get, how far could it spread down Stanâs neck, his chest.
âOf course, I see no reason why we canât return after we eat,â Ford goes on, eyes locked onto Stanleyâs. âAs youâve stated, it is a holiday. Holidays are not for working.â
âItâs New Years Eve,â Stan says, and Ford does not miss the slight warble in his gruff voice. âReally only a holiday if youâre planning to party, and weâre how many hundreds of miles from the nearest shoreline?â
Ford chuckles. âNot that far,â he says. âBut still. It is my first one in this dimension in thirty years. And you are always harping on me to take it easy.â
Stan snorts. âAnd youâre finally listening?â
âIf the result is a lazy day in bed with you, yes,â Ford says, and Stan blushes so violently that it takes nearly every ounce of Fordâs willpower to not grab his face and kiss him until neither of them can breathe. He has to force himself to simply pick up his fork and eat the breakfast that his brother has so lovingly cooked for them. âHm, very good. Are you not hungry, Stanley?â
The choked noises that gurgle up from Stanâs throat do not contain any plainly stated curses or swears, but Ford feels their intent. Stan grabs his own fork and stabs at the eggs as if they are the cause of his flustering.
When they have eaten, Ford gathers up the dishes and drops them perhaps a little too roughly into the sink. But sue him. Heâs impatient, and, wrapping his hand around Stanâs wrist when he tries to attend to the mess, he says, âTheyâll keep.â
Stan turns an almost unreadable glance to Ford, and Ford could keep teasing, but he knows this is no longer the time. âPlease,â he says simply, because he knows that is all it will take.
Heâs right. A little sigh, a shake of his head, and a fond smile, and Stan agrees, âAll right, you lazy bastard. Letâs fucking cuddle.â
Although the generator and all the mechanics on the boat are in excellent orderâpersonally built by Ford and McGucketâand outperform anything else commercially available by leaps and bounds, this far north, this late in the year, there is always some cold that seeps inside. But Ford canât feel any of it around the heat in his stomach, flames spreading and crackling like a merry campfire. He canât feel anything but warmth and comfort as he drags Stanley off to their bedâtheirs, theirs, theirsâand envelops his brother in his arms, rubbing gentle knuckles across Stanâs scalp until they are both lulled into blissful sleep.
The nap is overly indulgent and lazy. One might consider it excessive. Every time Stan attempts to move, Ford latches on tighter. When he tries to get upââChrist, Stanford, can a guy not take a quick piss?ââFord pouts and complains. Stanley surrenders quickly enough, understands that this is his fate today. He will stay in this bed with his brother. He will stay warm and snuggly and tucked into Fordâs chest, his ear right over his heart, listening to the steady thump and at least somewhere in the depths of his mind knowing that it pumps solely for him.
They lounge for nearly the entire day. Sometimes one of them is sleeping, sometimes both. If they are both awake, they talk in low whispers, and it reminds Ford of childhood innocence, a time he once felt only like he does now. A time when he could not have imagined a world or a circumstance in which he wanted to be parted from his brother.
Finally, late into the evening, Stanley finally puts his foot down and bodily wrestles his way out of the blankets. âWeâre getting up,â he says. âEven if itâs just to fucking cook dinner. Youâre eating dinner, you maniac.â
Ford lets him out, but he does not allow Stan any space. âFreaking koala,â Stan grumbles, but he also surrenders to this treatment, attempting to maneuver about the kitchen with Ford all but clinging to his back and effectively using him as an oversized teddy bear.
âOk, knock it off,â Stan says when he truly does need to be released to complete their meal. âAnd donât give me none of that fake pouting,â he adds when Ford puffs his cheeks at him.
âI assure you, Stanley, this pouting is entirely sincere,â he says, and Stanley laughs a loud and beautiful sound.
âShut up and make us something to drink,â Stan says, still laughing.
There isnât any champagne, of course. Itâs not a beverage either of them would drink with any sort of regularity, so Ford sets about heating a kettle and pulling out whiskey and honey. Stan already has a lemon sliced on the counter.
Again, they both slide onto the bench to eat. Ford allows a bit more space between them this time, even as he does tangle their legs together under the table. As he refills their hot toddies, Stanleyâs phone lets out an obnoxious oink. Itâs the text tone for Mabel.
âOh shit,â he says with clear delight. âWe got a signal.â
âYou would always have a signal if you were using the communication device that I built for us,â Ford says, and Stan just waves him off. He snatches up his phone and pulls up the message. Laughing, he shows it to Ford.
The first part of the message is an imageâFord has heard them all refer to as a selfieâof the twins. In true Mabel fashion, she is wearing a sweater unique to the occasion. Little bursts of fireworks have been knitted in brilliant colors, and all of the bursts are decorated with either glitter paint or real, working lights. Her earrings are glowing as well, clearly miniature versions of the Time Square ball. Her headband is a mess of curled streamers. Beside her, Dipper is far more subdued, although he is wearing a silly set of glasses displaying the new year. Each of the kids is blowing on a noise maker, their arms slung around each other.
Behind them, on the wall, is a clock, displaying something very close to the current timeânearly 10:30 in Californiaâbut there are messy scribbles over it attempting to erase the actual time and instead show it to read midnight.
Under the image is a text message. âTotally and 100% made it! Not even a little tired!! Party all night long!!!!â
âOh, they are going to be dead asleep in under five minutes,â Stan says, completely oozing affection for their niblings. âCompletely unconscious. End of the world wouldnât wake âem up.â
âAgreed,â Ford says, feeling all that same affection as he laughs at the purposefully sloppy editing.
Another burst of pictures comes through. The twins running around their neighborhood street with sparklers. Toasting each other with plastic flutes full of sparkling juice. Mabel dancing in front of the television with some celebrities that Ford has less than no clue the identify of during their part of the live performance in New York. A very blurry shot of Dipper trying to snatch a piece of paper from Mabelâs handsâlikely an in-depth resolutions list that has more than its fair share of embarrassing points.
âGod, I miss them,â Stan says.
Ford slides from the booth, pulling Stan after him. âCome on,â he says. âWe should send them something back.â They move quickly to dress in their coats and hats and gloves, and Ford pours their drinks into their thermoses and darts to the bedroom to snatch up the comforter again. âWe donât have sparklers,â he says as they step out onto the deck, âhoweverââ And he points up at the Northern Lights dancing across the sky.
It is not the first time theyâve seen them, but Stan still stares up in awe. âYeah,â he says lowly. âTheyâll love that.â
They take two pictures. One of the sky alone, allowing the aurora and stars and moon to shine all on their own. A second of the two of them, cheeks pressed together, arms around each other, just as the kids had sent. They have no noise makers, but Stan holds up his thermos for Mabel to see the collection of stickers.
They donât have as many pictures to send, so Stanley pulls off his gloves and sets to typing out a longer message. Ford takes the comforter and wraps it around them both, hooking his chin over his brotherâs shoulder to read along. Itâs a rambling message, full of spelling and grammatical errors, but itâs warm and affectionate, and no one who ever read it could ever for a second doubt just how much Stan loves those two perfect children. Itâs overwhelming, and Ford loves him all the more for it.
Stan sends everything off, and the messages go through, but there is no response, which confirms to Fordâs mind Stanleyâs prediction that the kids have indeed passed out from the long dayâs excitement.
Stan puts the phone into his pocket, and when his hand emerges, he has a cigar. He waves it under Fordâs nose with a grin. âI wouldnât say no,â Ford says, and with a quick, well practiced clip and flick of a lighter, Stan takes the first puff before passing it to Ford. Itâs a nice Churchill, one that will take them a good deal of time to smoke, even together. Ford is perfectly amenable to that.
And so they stand there together for a long time, the only noise the light splashing of waves against the side of the boat. They pass the cigar, slowly sip at their warm drinks, and watch the sky dance. Stanley has stronger opinions on cigars than Ford, and although Ford would be just fine with taking the cigar down to the foot, he accepts Stanleyâs assessment of, âLast pull,â before plopping it down into the railingâs cup holder to allow it to die its natural death.
Immediately, Ford regathers the comforter and tucks himself into Stanleyâs back, wrapping his brother in a hug. He nuzzles at Stanleyâs neck. Back to cuddling they go.
âYouâre ridiculous,â Stanley says. âSeriously, whatâs been with you today?â
Ford only holds him tighter, presses Stanâs back so close to his own chest that he can feel Stanâs heart beating right alongside his. His chin is already hooked over Stanâs shoulder, resting comfortably, but even that is not enough. He tilts his head, presses as much of their faces together as he can. âIâm happy,â he says simply.
âOh,â Stan says, a small noise, so tiny, but so full. His handâthe right oneâmoves slowly, moves across Fordâs forearm, moves until he can slot their fingers together. Six around five, as they are meant to be.
For a long time, they stand on the deck, wrapped up in each other, staring up at the brilliant lights that color the sky above them. Their breath curls in puffs of fog, and yes, it is cold, but itâs also so perfectly warm surrounded by each other and the simple blanket.
Ford notices the second that Stanley comes to some sort of mental conclusion. He doesnât exactly go tense, but there is a certain rigidity that was not there a moment ago. His fingers twitch minutely between Fordâs. Ford can feel the quickening of his pulse. But he doesnât urge him on, doesnât rush him. He can wait until Stanley is ready.
And when he is, he does not step away. He just turns in Fordâs arms and locks their gazes together. Identical, as are so many aspects of their physical appearance, but Ford has always considered Stanleyâs eyes warmer. The same shade, there is no difference there, but perhaps itâs just that Stanley has always worn his emotions so openly on his sleeve. Heâs always felt so much, and in his eyes, itâs always so plain. Ford canâand hasâgotten lost in them. He would be glad to do so for years to come.
âIâm gonna be a real sap for a minute here, so can you just let me get through it,â Stan asks, and Ford can only nod and wait, nearly trembling, for Stan to properly gather his thoughts. Itâs difficult, especially when part of the process is Stan grabbing tight to the front of his coat, clinging to Ford as a means to ground himself.
They have been wrapped up in each other all day, but Ford knows that it is different in this moment.
Even under the collar of his sweater, Ford can see the way Stanâs throat works, swallowing thickly against what is clearly overwhelming emotion. His eyes are wet behind his glasses, and he blinks rapidly to try to contain it. Ford knows that whatever it is that Stan has to say will only be good, but it still sends some pang through his chest to see his brother struggle in this way. Ford moves quickly, tugging off his gloves. He doesnât care about the cold. He only cares that he can touch the wind-kissed pink of Stanleyâs cheeks, skin to skin. He only cares that his hands can be there to catch and wipe away any of those tears that might escape Stanâs eyes. âItâs all right,â he says lowly. âTake your time.â
Stan smiles at him, and the only thing Ford can see is love. His. Stanâs. Theirs.
The reassurance, the physical contact, it does what it needs to for Stan. It calms him enough to let him speak. âThis is corny as hell, I know, but fuck it, right? Weâve got the right be corny after everything. Forty years. Thatâs fucking insane. Forty years completely apart, when I spent the first seventeen feeling like Iâd crawl out of my skin if we were separated for just fifteen minutes.â
The choice of the number fifteen is not lost on Ford at all. The number of minutes between their first breaths in this world. The number of minutes that is impossible for Ford to actually recall, but what he always assumed must have been the longest of his life, waiting for his other half to join him again. A small number, truly, but to them an insurmountable time to be forced apart, the absolute longest either of them could stand before they were ready to make it a problem for everyone else around them.
âI justââ Stan licks at his chapped lips, and Ford doesnât know if heâd rather lose himself staring at that or the shining reflection of the lights in Stanâs warm eyes. âI donât care, you know. This is insane, but I donât care. I donât care that it was so hard. I donât care how much it hurt. Because weâre here now right. Fucking new year, new us. Iâd do it again, if I had to.â
âNo,â Ford says. âNo, you will never have to, Stanley. We are never going to be parted again. Never.â He steps closer, unwilling to take his hands from his brotherâs face but still needing more of the minuscule distance between their bodies negated. If he could, he would open his rib cage and draw Stanley inside of himself, or he would crawl into Stanâs. Either option, so long as they are joined. âI simply will not allow it.â
Stan huffs a laugh, and one tear manages its escape. Ford is quick to wipe it away. âYeah, youâre a stubborn old goat,â he says.
âTakes one to know one,â Ford retorts.
They both laugh and then just stand there, so, so close, just staring at each other, just together. And Fordâs watch lets out a tiny little beep. The same beep it lets out each hour. Itâs midnight. Itâs midnight crossing over into the new year.
Corny. Sappy. Sure, it is all those things. But itâs also tradition, and as Stanley stated himself, new year, new them.
Ford closes the remaining distance between them and slots his lips over Stanleyâs. The reaction is immediate and electrifying. Stanâs mouth opens in a gasp, and Ford doesnât waste a second of the opportunity presented to him. He pushes his tongue into Stanâs mouth, and Stanley reacts so perfectly, just as Ford has always dreamed. He clings tighter, pulls Ford flush against him, and kisses him back as if to do anything less would shatter him apart.
The kiss lights Ford on fire, sets him completely ablaze and then rebirths him immediately from the ashes. Stanley fits so perfectly against him, so perfect in his arms. They belong like this, made for each other like this. This was the true reason Ford was put on this earth, to kiss Stan, to hold him, to love him.
When they finally pull back from each other, gasping, itâs not very far. Stanâs body remains pressed against him, his fingers clinging to Fordâs shoulders like a vice. Fordâs hands are still cupping Stanleyâs cheeks, protecting him from the cold night wind. Their noses and foreheads touch, and they breathe in each otherâs air. In the darkness, the only light coming from the aurora borealis and the nearly full moon, Stanâs eyes should not look so bright, but they practically glow. Ford has so much to say, but he canât bring himself to speak. Still, Stanleyâs eyes bore into him, searching, finding all of it on open display, every part of Ford there for him, only for him, if he wants it.
And Ford can see, Stanley does want it. He wants Ford in all the ways that Ford has always wanted him. He loves Ford as Ford loves him.
Ford surges forward, one hand sliding around to cup the back of Stanâs neck and pull him the rest of the way to kiss him again. Itâs not as deep this time, no tongues involved, just the slide of their lips together. Still, he tingles everywhere they touch. âI love you,â he says, finally finding his voice. He sounds devastated in the best possible way.
And now Stanâs cold hands are on his cheeks. âI love you, too,â Stan says. Another gentle kiss. âI love you.â Another. âThis is insane,â he says, but this time heâs smiling, almost giggling. Ford grins at him, so wide that his face hurts. He feels manic, ready to burst at the seams. He never wants this feeling to stop. Stan starts to back away, but Ford tightens his arms around him. Stan laughs, his fingers sliding into Fordâs hair. âStanford,â he says against his lips, and Ford shudders.
âStay here,â Ford requests, begs. âStay with me.â
âAlways,â Stan answers.
The sky above them explodes in color, a more brilliant display than any fireworks show. Ford presses his lips to Stanâs, the next in an endless line, too many to count over the next year, decade, the rest of their lives.
(Did my art style change again�)
(Yup.)
stancest save me⌠save me stancest⌠stancest save me
Running off like 40 minutes of sleep and an unhealthy amount of caffeine so this is Obviously the perfect time for transmasc!Ford with nsfw Stancest!
- âCaryn I cannot believe you named our daughter after a car.â âFilbrick, hush, her name is lovely, besides look at our son! Heâs just not a Stanford somehow.â
- âStop roughhousing you two! I know you two are having fun but Stanley, you do NOT hit girls. Cortina, ladies do not punch.â
- Ford, who never got told âstop crying out Iâll give you something to cry aboutâ And if crying can get Filbrick to stop yelling or get Stanley out of trouble bc âhe was just protecting me they were being so mean!â then thatâs normal girls just cry sometimes.
-Stan, who is allowed to be close and protective about Ford and still manages to push those boundaries as far as theyâll go.
-âStanley, what kind of brother are you to let your sister get beat up!â
-Ford never got sent to learn boxing but raptly watches Stanâs muscles flex from the bleachers
-Stan and Ford still share a room bc there just isnât enough space (and they start fooling around after puberty)
-Stan fingering Fordâs pussy and calling him babygirl and learning how to dirty talk by what kind of praise and adoration makes Ford react the best
- Ford who still never learned social graces (that would require reading the hidden undercurrent of seemingly every conversation) and this translates to the universal autism experience of his peers thinking heâs the Manic Pixie Dream Girl of their dreams
-Fordâs guard dog of a brother scaring off suitors and bullies alike
-Ford, who doesnât quite want to be a man but as far as he knows the only other option is to be a woman and Nope Absolutely Not
-Women are supposed to be interested in men and Ford has no interest. Stan doesnât count, thatâs Stan.
-âYouâre my brother now? Ok, Ford. If it makes you happy it makes me happy.â
-Stan not even questioning it but asking whether this means Ford doesnât want to be together anymore (Bc incest is ok I guess but gay incest is questionable?)
-âso do you want me to call your⌠uh. Stuff something different?â âNo! I like it
-Ford asking Stan to teach him how to fight
-Ford trying to use chemistry to make a gradual voice changing solution but accidentally making Potion of Instant Baritone and freaking out about how their parents will react
-Freaking out and crying about how Stan might react and Stan is more concerned that Ford might be hurt but as soon as he realizes heâs 100% on board and just asks what kind of story he needs to help spin.
-and itâs part of what drives them apart
-Men arenât coddled and protected by their brother
-Men pull themselves up by their boots and make a name for themselves
-Men donât cry when theyâre overstimulated or scared
-If Stan sabotaged him then does he see Ford the way men see women? Property he can control?
Bonus! Trans!Stan
-Itâs not that he doesnât like his dick but sometimes he wishes he had a pretty pussy like Fordâs too. The idea looks right (and he can give himself to Ford entirely)
-But women donât enjoy having broad shoulders and a punch that can lay out a grown man
-Women donât have hair absolutely everywhere and a voice like gravel
-After being kicked out and the things heâd had to do, if he was a woman heâd be the kind their parents always called âtrashâ and âfastâ and crossed the street when they saw so he just wasnât
-At heart heâs still Fordâs loyal dog above anything. A woman obviously canât be that
THIS IS A POST ABOUT STANCEST. I AM TALKING ABOUT STANCEST IN THIS POST.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME.
HAVE A GREAT NIGHT.