Tumblr Users Will Black Out And Reblog When They See The Word Shrimp

This was going to be a "don't talk to me or my son (tripod fish) ever again" post but I made a mistake with the text and I think it's a million times funnier.

funniest fucking thing

the thing about being nonbinary is that you really do start to forget that other people have such strict walls around what is and isn’t allowed for genders. i thought we all agreed that we made that up. could you climb out of the cave real quick and feel the sunshine for a minute.

I'm not like the other shrimp

“A little treat” has proven to be a devastating weapon of destruction against my moneys… but… science has birthed an equally powerful tool in the war against trinkets… I call it.. “but I shan’t”.

First image of a tardigrade (1773)

like the first rule of cooking is to have fun and be yourself and the first rule of baking is to stay calm because the dough can sense fear

hurr hurr I'm a human body hurr hurr I'm gonna solve all my problems using mucus