12.01.23

Art by Peach Momoko

mark can’t handle all that 😮‍💨

Whatever *sticks my dick in the gap between who you are and who you portray yourself as*

Alternitive Universe Eve I think she'd be the paralyzed eve from S2, but she rebuild herself when mark was visiting and used his body to gain viltrumite powers. Might also brainwash him to use against omniman later (mark can heal from losing half his body weight right?)

She isn't evil she's just crashing out cuz mark destroyed her world, killed most of her friends and then paralyzed her so she just has to sit there and watch it happen everyday - which yeah made her a little unhinged but that's understandable

It broke her to the point that her mental blocks give out - letting her use her powers to the fullest extent, fighting mark and winning. She almost dies too but uses marks body to rebuild herself (she eats all his limbs😔)

Some sympathizing doctors hide her and Mark - cuz of course he can't just die and leave her alone - and the doctors couldn't kill him. But Eve, realizing she'll probably need help to stop Omniman wants to try to brainwash Mark the way she did in her backstory

Mark wakes up later, still fucked up completely, wanting to kill eve, but bro got no limbs so thats not going to work lol. She tries to erase his memories and put in mental blocks like she had so he can't kill (or disobey her). It doesn't work at first,

But cuz this mark is... Insanely obsessed with her he eventually gives in. So he gets put in a tube to regenerate. 

Eve stats a rebellion - probably with the help of dinosaurus - assembling all heroes who are still alive to kill nolan

It goes as well as you'd expect - nolan is almost impossible to kill, so they use the "the son you thought died because of your incompetence is actually alive and he's brainwashed to hate you :3" mental nuke to get him unstable enough and beaten down enough for eve to control him

So with both evil graysons now under control they start rebuilding. Alan shows up, Eve gets him to help her rebuild earth. They fight Thragg, find out mark is the fucking emperor (cuz OF COURSE he is), the viltrumites execute Thragg (eve isn't taking any chances)

I also think it would be an interesting position for eve to be in - even though SHE saved earth, SHE went up against the viltrume empire, SHE is the good guy Mark still gets to be the main character SOMEHOW. 

And that motherfucker is still weirdly obsessed with her😭😭😭

Also i think she'd get together with Rex - they lead the rebellion together (kind of. He was her emotional support) And Mark is very jealous. 

Maybe Eve could get an heir from Mark - a child she can raise to be the new emperor, and who will be a good one. Just to add to the drama

Mark also regains his memories at some point - he even changes for the better, but he's still a weird non-human freak with little empathy. He's also weaker cuz all his limbs are not fully viltrumite.

The robot parts are there to keep her body from shifting too much - since the mental blocks are gone. But she can basically shapeshift and heal immediately - as long as she's not worn out or insta-killed she's practically unstoppable.

I also think she can’t immediately kill viltrumites cuz their body is so dense it's like moving mountains. But she's strong enough to fuck them up.  Thinking too much about her becoming Evevincible and saving the universe and all that

Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.

I wish ratings of medical visits could go both ways.

“Patient started screaming at me about not prescribing amoxicillin for her after explaining ad nauseam that antibiotics don’t work for influenza. 2/5.”

“Upon being told he would not be receiving a narcotic prescription for his chronic toe pain (he got a prescription for 30 Percocet just 3 days ago as well) patient proceeded to smear feces on the wall before storming out and screaming ‘fuck this place and fuck y’all.’ 1/5, hopefully he doesn’t return.”

“Brought entire up to date list of medications with her to the emergency department. Very pleasant. Knowledgeable about own health and eager in understanding her conditions. 5/5.”

Wayfaring’s Laws* of Medical Superstition

1. Upon utterance of the “q-word,” (a word too heinous to commit to writing here, even in the disguised form of one of its many synonyms), the Emergency Dept, clinic, or medical unit in which it was uttered will become inundated with emergencies, difficult patients, and a census out of ratio to staff within the hour.

2. Cloud color dominance submits to the traditional medical educational hierarchy. Thus, a white cloud resident paired with a black cloud attending on call will suffer the effects of the attending’s stormy weather. Medical students, like weathermen, are merely present to record the day’s events for posterity. Cloud forecasts from medical students have a positive predictive value of 14% and are not to be trusted.

3. A seemingly random fleeting thought regarding a patient of particularly disdainful character or of frequent visitation to one’s facility is bound to result in producing said patient’s presence in one’s clinic or ED before the end of the shift. Pronouncement of the patient’s name in the presence of colleagues will result in contact with said patient within the hour.

4. Precipitation precipitates precipitous deliveries. Inclement weather not only brings on labor but also predicts baby booms 9-10 months into the future. The same can be said for Full moons and full ERs and psych wards or Friday the 13ths and emergencies in clinic.

5. Bringing work to be done during one’s “downtime” is a guarantee of a busy day with no downtime.

6. If the functioning of a pager is in question, all that is required to elucidate an answer is to drop one’s pants in a bathroom stall or sit down to a meal. If one is able to complete their bodily eliminations or enjoy a full meal uninterrupted, the pager is surely in need of fresh batteries.

7. The more severe the weather, the more likely all scheduled patients will show up. Conversely, the more pleasant the weather, the less likely scheduled patients will show up. See also: the pre-chart principle, in which pre-charting on a patient prior to their arrival to clinic substantially increases the likelihood that the patient will not show up.

*Laws are still in the research phase and have not yet been found to be universally true, though the frequency of their occurrence and observation by medical personnel from a wide array of specialties and locales supports their factual nature.