This Is The Realist Shit Ever Why Cant I Just Be A Silly Little Girl

Ayo fellow Spider-Smutties

Comere lemme speak to you for a second-

I will never understand how there's so much Hobie x Spider!reader smut but there's none where they be straight up breaking the bed.

Miguel too. Cause they'll have him aggressive but like in the normal human dom way. Y'all do realize he don't even need to do all that, right?

He could have normal sex and he'd still crack your little Ikea bed in half like a popsicle stick the man is 6'9

Like these mfers are super human. You ever seen Twilight: Breaking Dawn?

The headboard should be splintering. The sheets should literally be torn to shreds. TOW UP.

The comforter should be destroyed and the nightstand too prolly

Your nightstand got nail marks on it now. Looking like a saber tooth tiger got in. I hope you not renting cause y'all should be putting holes in the walls. Breaking your dinning room table

Have the neighbors downstairs like

Where is the webbing? Them walls should be covered in webs more ways than one. Where is the web bondage? Where is it

They should be on the walls or something. Like.. they can just walk up there. 69 upsidedown is still 69 🤨

I mean if we smutting it up have at it but y'all we gotta be a little bit creative 😩

tuh At this point if ain't leaving him like this I don't want it

may you never fear you are the virgin Mary

May your next period be light and end quickly

Joost had three problems, actually. the moon, his mustache, and the fact that his girl was literally about to murder him

life in florida

Everything she says is so unbelievably real I’m convinced she can read my mind.

Its been raining for two days I guess I'm re reading. Berlin angel by @de-sire-blog again

thinking about that very brief moment after jess says “hobie you’re not helping” and hobie says “good” where there’s a split second you can see the gears turn in miles’ head as he tries to figure out what that little interaction means even though he’s definitely got more pressing shit going on. idk it almost like he’s grounded by that eye contact with hobie before that escape + big chase and BOY do i love it

A glimpse at my notion for this year :)

donna tartt: literally writes an entire 600 page book about how it can be dangerous to do things just for the aesthetic

us, already making pinterest boards: oh to be a classics student in vermont in the 80s drinking whiskey from a teacup and occasionally murdering people