Woman Lore

I wrote a computer program to calculate what's the most masculine name of all time, but I don't think it works. It keeps saying the most masculine name is "Gregxander"

A lot of people draw needles as a goofy spikeball, but we know they look roughly like a normal person until you get too close. So I propose this: yknow how sometimes when you get a splinter there’s a sharp bit poking out that you can’t really see but you can feel if you touch the splinter? He’s covered in tiny invisible razor-thin spines that at a distance might appear in weird lighting conditions as a funky halo. Only after you get within arms reach do you see the spikes. And of course, by then they’re embedded in your skin, and we all know how painful and hard to remove splinters are

Im having sad doorkeay thoughts about this and i dont know if i will elaborate on this or not but if i do it will be in the form of a 1k+ word fic published at 3 am on a random tuesday

I love the "came back wrong" trope but from the opposite side.

Imagine you are dead. And then you are RIPPED from the embrace of decay into the world of the living again. Your memories are hazy and you don't recognize any of these people, but they act like they're close to you? Like they love you? So you try to get your memories back, to act like you belong here, but everybody tries to forget you died. And you can't. It is omnipresent. And just trying to grapple with that fact pushes the people who "love" you away, and they're incapable of understanding, and they're so confused, what's wrong N̶̄̀O̶͛͗T̷̉́ ̷͋͝Y̴̎̌Ȍ̴̈U̸̓R NÄM̴̃͑E̵̾̇? And you just need them to understand, you aren't that person! You aren't! You don't know who that person is! You don't know why any of this is happening, but they're unwilling to bend, they keep insisting you are that person, your memories will come back, everything will be normal again, and you want to scream and cry and claw yourself open to show them you're different. Your existence as a being wholly separate from whoever you "used to be" is a sin unto itself. All you can do is scrabble for life and to them, you're killing whoever they loved to do it.

just. lots of fun in that concept, you know?

I had this EXACT thought about an hour before seeing this post and started immediately planning Large Art Projects That I Will Never Finish based on it because That Is What I Do

ok ok, so, I just kind of realised that Simon Fairchild is older than planes right? so, can you imagine how excited he was when they were invented? he felt the fresh fear of the wright brothers for those first 12 seconds and went insane.

OR, alternatively, he invented the aeroplane because he was bored of just throwing people from cliffs

ohmygod. he was absolutely fucking ecstatic. overwhelmed with joy. best day of his life. he would force every other avatar onto a plane immediately

everyone talks like pirates. the arrrrrrrchivist

slap a cowboy hat on his bald head

Vampire: I’ve been studying explosives for 600 years now and I’m pretty good at it, so yes, I do believe I qualify as a “boomer”

Chosen One(TM): its noT SUPPOSED TO BE A COMPLIMENT

I physically cannot make this decision theyre both the best and also all the eliminated ones are the best too help

FINAL ROUND! THIS IS IT, THIS IS WHAT YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR!

One of the others walks in and sees him explaining the problem to the duck and thinks he’s properly lost it (well, more than they already did) because they aren’t programmers

debugging