I’m Not Interested In A World Where Men Really Want To Watch Porn But Resist Because They’ve Been

Oh, so violent porn is just like other violent TV and films?

Okay, so all of the violence is porn is staged, right? All the bruises, the wounds, the injuries, those are just special effects, yeah? Or are they real? Then next time someone on TV has to participate in a fight scene, should they really throw hands and get their nose broken? If an actor is doing stage combat and accidentally gets punched for real, should we use that take, call it a success, and do nothing to amend the circumstances that caused physical harm to the actor? Should actors who are cast in violent movies simply expect to take a real beating (or two, or three, or…) as a hazard of the job?

The thing is, there are ways to fake combat, even in close proximity…but the porn industry doesn’t like that, because it’s not “real” enough. They’re not happy until a woman is really crying from real pain. This industry is a parasite that feeds off of female bodies and female pain (inflicted by male force).

umm do you have any good gateway books into second wave feminism 😓

So if you want to read some of the defining books of the era I'd say

Sexual Politics, Kate Millett

Ob/Gyn, Mary Daly

Dialectics of Sex, Shulamith Firestone

Intercourse; Right-Wing Women; Woman Hating; Pornography; all four by Andrea Dworkin

Against Our Will, Susan Brownmiller

Ain't I a Woman, bell hooks

Sister Outsider, Audre Lorde

I haven't read it but I've also seen The Female Eunuch by Germaine Greer recommended a lot.

These are all good starts for second-wave feminism imo. upon reading them you'll also find some recommendations to other books as second-wave feminists referenced each other pretty often.

I would also advise reading history books written about the second-wave on the side. For example, Jewish Radical Feminism by Joyce Antler shades some light on Firestone's, Brownmiller's and Dworkin's life and political perspectives that helps put their work in context. Another really good one is Battling Pornography by Carolyn Bronstein, you can read this in a series with Pornography by Andrea Dworkin and Against Our Will by Susan Brownmiller. And then you also have The Trouble Between Us by Winifred Breines, about the tensions between white and black, straight and lesbian, upper and lower class second wave feminists. Also a very interesting read that puts some works in context and still has strong relevance nowadays

asexual sex workers are braver than any US marine

One part of the abortion question people kind of need to just accept is thag there is no equivalent situation to having someone entirely encased inside and dependent on your own body. It's a unique situation unlike anything else. So the person whose body is used like that must be the ultimate authority in the situation.

If it’s humiliating for a man to do then it’s humiliating for a woman to do, you’re just used to women being humiliated

i fucking hate how western countries say “sex work is work” and then legalise prostitution. but what happens when, for example, in germany there are not enough german women who want to become prostitutes? are they advertising prostitution to women? do they start marketing campaigns to show how cool it is to be a sex worker? do they introduce more different people (men, old, kids) to prostitution? do they open SCHOOLS to teach more people how to be a sex worker? you know, just like they do with other jobs?

NO THEY FUCKING DON’T. THEY KIDNAP PEOPLE FROM OTHER COUNTRIES AND MAKE THEM SEX SLAVES!!!!!

queen shit

hi, can i ask for advice? i think my little sister is in an abusive relationship :( she told me how a couple months back she and him were in a hotel room, he was drunk and in an argument and he beat her. shes in another town an hour away, so i rarely see her, she visits on some weekends but theyre always short visits, because i recently learned her boyfriend gets mad when she doesn't come back at a specific time. is there anyway i can help her? she depends on him for a home btw, she has no job and nowhere else to go

Yes, she is. Even if it was only once in your sister's eyes, it's possible she's hand-waving other "smaller" instances of abuse, and the abuse will escalate. You don't "accidentally" beat someone. You don't hit the people you love.

There are things you can do and things you shouldn't do. You must be patient, and you must respect her choices. This can be hard when you're watching someone you love get hurt, but please understand that her abuser has her ear far often than you do. If you condescend, demand, make ultimatums, try to forcefully intervene - you could end up with a severed relationship and no way to help her. You have to be the opposite of her abuser: kind, thoughtful, patient, slow to anger, understanding, willing to speak to truth, and above all respectful.

The fact that you still get to see her is very good. When you next see her, try to have a conversation around the abuse, but as best you can try to frame it like this: "After what you told me about what happened to you, I'm very worried about you. I'm always available to help you if you need any help." Having resources at the ready to hand to her is also good, but don't force her to take anything she doesn't want. These can be things like books, business cards for shelters, hotline numbers, etc. Again, you can't force her to take anything - respect her choices. She may want them but be nervous having them on her, and she might struggle to articulate that. If she knows you have them, she can ask for them later when she's ready.

When she talks about this or her boyfriend in general, do not correct her on anything. If she says "he loves me" don't say "no he doesn't." It is better to ask "can you love someone and hit them?" If she says "he's the only person who has my back" don't say "no he doesn't." Don't huff and say "what about me." Instead, it's better to say "I will always be here for you, no matter what." You have to be very thoughtful and considerate when you speak to her. Double-triple think what you're going to say before you say it. It's important that she sees you as someone who is willing to listen, someone who trusts her and believes her.

You can also use resources like hotlines. You can also read the books. It can never be stated enough how helpful the book Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancraft is to both the abused and the people who love them. Read the book, it can give you guidance.

Good luck, sis. I hope you're sister can find peace and happiness.

i find it genuinely absurd that forced-birthers expect us to treat the fetus as an individual. “what about the baby’s body and choice?” that is literally something attached to her organs the fetus is literally part of the woman’s body and OF the woman’s body like god did not put it there for safekeeping her body is fucking constructing it. it cannot be legally or physically independent from her—the fetus IS still her you goddamn fucking morons.

do you know of any resources, books, advice, etc of how to help an abused women who doesn't leave her abusive, cheating and deadbeat husband?

I know many women can't leave due to financial reasons or lack of support system, and advice and resources I've seen were for this situation but this doesn't apply to her as she earns more than him and her family wants her to divorce.

she cries, vents and acknowledges that he hurts her but then defends him when her family and friends criticise his behaviour. she also left a therapist for being "too biased and feminist" so that isn't working either.

The book Why Does He Do That by Lundy Bancroft. You can give it to her under the pretence of trying to help her improve her relationship and you can explain that it's written by a man (therefore not feminist right?) a man who has worked with men like her husband to better understand them. Abusive men typically become the centre of the world to their victims, so it might interest her to read about his psychology.

In reality, the book thoroughly debunks every excuse men find to abuse their wives.