I Would Like To Share My Personal Damian Headcanon With Anyone

Hi, I saw your draw request, could you please draw something like Benji patching Ethan up after some mission gone wrong situation? If you don't like this request it's okay, just wanted to ask for something since you posted the request and I love Benthan fanarts, thanks!

Time To Spare by PolarKraken

Another illustration for a fic I absolutely love and adore. My best friend wrote it for my birthday a few years back, no idea how I deserved this <3

This is after Benji stitched him up. Just realized this is the ONE relaxed moment in the whole fic :'D

*over a year late* 🥲 ..hope you like it!

MATT MURDOCK BPD STUDY??

From what I gauge with my own personal experience with having BPD, I think Matt possesses some borderline tendencies. I’m not diagnosing him really, mainly because while I have BPD, I am not a professional and not every one person’s experience with the disorder is the same as mine. Most of this is comparing the symptoms I have with some of the observations I’ve made with Matt from both the comics and the mcu show (and maybe a lil projection LOL)?? Will dump random comic panels in here as well :0

For a lot of people that have BPD, the main driving factors for 90% of everything is an intense fear of abandonment and a lack of self-worth.

Matt I think, does have a fear of abandonment, and it manifests in the form of him pushing others away despite him wanting otherwise. He assumes they’ll all just hate/reject him anyway. And this, he tells a lot of lies, keeps a lot of secrets from the people he cares about the most out of the fear that they might hate him and leave him even if it proves to be counterproductive. He wants to love people, and he wants to be loved back, but his fear of intimacy keeps him isolated from the people closest to him.

A lot of that definitely has to do with his mom abandoning him as a child, his father dying, and being raised by Stick. Stick beat into his brain that he should never trust people, that they’ll end up hurting him and leaving him anyway if they found out about what he was truly capable of with his senses, so why bother? (This is something shown more prominently in the show) And then he goes and abandons him too. That, and the prolonged verbal abuse from the only person he had left to latch onto definitely fucked up his brain.

When put into potentially triggering situations (such as being scrutinized/criticized by the people who care about him) I’ve recognized that he reacts like a person who’s been perpetually stuck with the defense mechanisms they’ve never grown out of as a child. As a kid, he wasn’t exactly allowed to lash out, to be upset, to have his feelings validated as a real person, and so all of that buildup he never got to properly experienced inevitably seeped into his adult life.

His self worth is basically nonexistent. He believes that he’s the devil, and as mentioned before, undeserving of any kind of love and attention from people. I also find it fascinating with the way he acts around different people. Most people generally do act differently depending on who they are hanging out with, but Matt transforms into a completely different person. Foggy has pointed out that when Matt is with Elektra, he becomes a worse person– that he gets more reckless, impulsive, and violent when he’s with her. I definitely believe that Matt was ‘living’ through his deep attachment to Elektra.

Matt suffers from a pattern of unstable interpersonal relationships. He either leaves them or fucks up something in the relationship (What Matt did to Milla as an example 😭) , they leave him, or they get killed. A lot of the turbulence in his relationships have to do with his mindset of his unwillingness to believe that they would choose to be with someone like him. It’s the “you’ll get hurt because of me” and the “why would you love a mess like me?” He’ll frequently get into heated arguments with the people around him, and sometimes he’ll end up saying something that’ll drive them out of his life. Matt will always regret it after, but will convince himself to avoid any further confrontations in a stressful situation because he doesn’t want to cause anymore trouble.

This pattern of thinking is pretty synonymous with the extremes of idealization and devaluation as well. Take his relationship with Foggy for example. Matt can go from putting Foggy on a pedestal and treating him as his “favorite person” to immediately holding contempt towards him and scowling at him (sometimes leaving too). He treats a lot of his his romantic partners like this too.

He is obviously extremely impulsive and is prone to fits of anger and violence. His entire nighttime career is dedicated to risky behavior and putting himself in a place where he’s literally just fighting the entire world even if he’s bleeding out half of the time. He knows that he’s slowly killing himself by going out and doing the things no one ever asked him to do, that he’s hurting himself, his relationships, his livelihood, but he can’t stop. I’m also 100% sure he experiences suicidal ideation straight up as well (it’s more explicitly shown/mentioned in the comics??)

Savior complex aside also, I think Matt only feels alive when he’s out there helping people, which in turn helps him cope with a lot of his psychological issues. I think feeling helpless and not doing enough is something that’ll eat away at him constantly if he doesn’t put on the suit.

Idk, sorry for the long rant?? I rly wanted to get this out for awhile, hope this is somewhat comprehensible 😭😭

sappy dan vs halloween comic: remastered full color edition

i had it in my head from the moment i posted the original that one day I’d fully clean up and color this comic, and it’s always had kind of a special little place in my heart, but i never really had the time or stamina to follow through with it until now. ironic, considering i have much less time And stamina than i have in the last couple years, but…… idk i guess the time was just right lmao. so here it is, 3 years later. nothin spectacular or anything, i didn’t rly change much, just made it look a lil nicer like i always wanted to, but doing this had kind of a therapeutic effect on me lmfao i hope you guys enjoy it too 💖

hunt and survive

im 100% sure someones done this already but here i am! doing it again!!!

Summary: Matt came to standing beside the empty armchair but didn’t take a seat. Facing Amy, he said in his courtroom voice, "I would introduce myself, but I don’t think pleasantries are required when catching your partner cheating on you in your own home." The response was immediate and loud. "Jesus Christ," Frank said, and Amy was repeating "ew ew ew ew," in an increasingly disgusted voice. Matt was beginning to think that he maybe, possibly, might’ve drawn the wrong conclusion. "I don’t know what else it would be," Matt said to Frank, but Amy cut in loudly, "that’s my dad!"

Author: @booksapphic

The strategist

Narrator comforts a depressed Stanley