ZOMAK

executive dysfunction got me speed running studying for college entrance exam

Me and my mutuals

Dhampir hunter — your mother was human, but your father was a vampire, and you’re betraying his ancient blood. Your human self is your weaker self. Humans are nothing more than livestock.

VAMPIRE HUNTER D: BLOODLUST (2000) dir. Yoshiaki Kawajiri

 a lazy scatterbrained comic about undiagnosed mental illness

who fucking the marine creatures

me: *is jokingly mean to my friend*

friend: *jokingly pretends to be hurt*

me (autistic, moral ocd):

Sleeping Sasha    -    Lena Rivo

Spanish,

Gouache ,  16 x 28 cm.

" all I can do is take drugs and lie down " 😭😭😭😭

I had a good day yesterday knowing that today I’d be in horrible pain. Well today is here. I cannot sit without severe back pain and that means I cannot work. I don’t deserve this. I just want to be a productive human. My back hurts so badly. 😭 all I can do is take drugs and lie down.

ok funny shit lmao. 5 months has passed. And throughout those months I feel dread because I feel time passing by so quickly. I see 5 months to be such a short time, I know how fast it'll end, and it feels like we are going to get there soon. And i was right. I blinked and boom out of nowhere it's one month left until college exam.

Now guess what. Today is already the end of march. Somehow for the last maybe 2 weeks i feel time going very very slowly and my anxiety just kinda subside for a moment? It really feels like I have SO much time. And no anxiety just gives me like.. just chill vibe as if there is nothing to worry about?? And if you think this is the right time finally start studying bitch no, thats not gonna work. I cant study a 3 years worth of studies in couple of days. Nobody can. So anyway I know the day is getting nearer if I make myself look at the date and it gives back the fear but it just somehow doesn't feel like it? And I didn't know that i wrote this 5 months ago, it really felt like i wrote this like some weeks ago? so what the fuck is time really? I wish this was just because of quarantine side effects but it is not. And I really love staying at my house and going nowhere for the whole year. I can see a very unhealthy lifestyle if i don't end up living in a small village on the mountain, where every morning it will get foggy. Yeah.

Anyway if anyone is wondering, no i have not study, not even a bit. Because it requires a lot of mental energy and the whole time i was trying to gather it and then there's also executive dysfunction so yeah. It just immobilized me. I think my parents just going to hate me more.

I want to learn but i also can't imagine going to college. I'm so not ready and incredibly unprepared. I i wish i can just perish

can anyone with adhd give me tips how to study? i have not been diagnosed but im pretty sure i have it. Everything make so much sense to such great level after learning what adhd is. I’m taking a gap year and in 5 months i’ll be taking a college entrance exam, and i have completely forgotten everything, i don’t  think i remember how to do any math too. I honestly would love to take another break but  i dont want to get the same reaction from my family for my choice.  i certainly don’t understand why learning should be rushed, like i could see some points to it but it’s still stupid. so back to point one can anyone give suggestions?  i have only five months left and no i have not study at all for the past 8 months ive been doing nothing but crochet even when i dont want to do it >:(  Edit : k i could be just extremely lazy and have no adhd but i feel like anyone who have this condition is the right person to ask since you are the Queens, Kings and the Alphas that could give me answer to the question that im seeking. i should learn from the true masters. and if you have the answer but explaining stuff is hard for you. thank you for reading i guess. ily