Ur Right I’m Gonna Go Rob A Bank Now

Welcome to the United States of America where if you want to be safe from guns you die if you want to get a safe abortion you die if you're gay you die if you're black you die if you're a woman you die if you're disabled you die if you're a kid you die if you're a POC you die if you're trans you die and no one will do anything about it because some stupid cuntrags that are two steps away from tripping on a staircase and dying cling to some dipshit beliefs from over 6 decades ago and decide to make it everyone's problem

As someone who’s first language was spanish and then moved to America (I lived in Puerto Rico) and I had to learn English it was hard and sometimes I still struggle but look at me now 3 years later. My English is nearly perfect. Learning was hard and anyone who learns how to earns my respect.

So I used to have a Russian friend who had a pretty thick accent and like a lot of Russians tended to eschew articles. She would say things like “Get in car.” And stuff.

Well one day this asshole who had been kind of tagging along with us asks her why she talks like that because it makes her sound dumb and I still remember her response word for word.

“Me? Dumb? Maybe in America you have to say get in THE car because you are so stupid that people might just get in random car, but in Russia we don’t need to say that. We just fucking know because we are not stupid.”

Brekker’s lips quirked. “I’ll just hire Matthias’ ghost to kick your ghost’s ass.”

“My ghost won’t associate with your ghost,”

“We enter from the north as planned,” Kaz said. Jesper knocked his head against the hull and cast his eyes heavenward. “Fine. But if Pekka Rollins kills us all, I’m going to get Wylan’s ghost to teach my ghost how to play the flute just so that I can annoy the hell out of your ghost.”

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Beep beep beep

*c r a s h*

Maybe shouldn’t have said that to someone who can’t drive

This isnt a joke my favorite piece of writing advice that I’ve ever seen is someone that said if you were stuck with a fic and couldn’t figure out why or what was wrong, your problem is actually usually about ten sentences back. Maybe there was something wonky about the tone or the dialogue or you added something that didn’t fit but it’s usually ten sentences back. And every single time I get stuck in a fic I count back ten sentences and it’s always fucking there

Exactly

People dote on Kaz for the same traits they bash on the Darkling send tweet

so there’s no hot evil villain in love with me?

We didn't talk enough about StepMum!Nancy. She lives in my wildest, wettest dreams. I think she likes messing with your pussy under the dinner table. Or making you wear a remote control vibe when you go out on mommy daughter days

no because your father talking about his boring ass business meeting at the table while you try and push down your food like you aren't clamping your thighs together because nancys fingers are knuckle deep in your little cunt.

your dad had jusr smiled kindly when you sat down next to nancy at the table saying, "m'glad to see my two favorite girls getting along." and you had smiled tightly.

nancy had just smiled and patted your hip. "we've come to find common ground recently."

now you're gripping your fork as nancy hums and nods along to what your father is saying, her pretty pink lips sipping her lemonade delicately.

her fingers are lithe and slender. slightly long from her most recent manicure, enough that they rub down on your gooey walls enough to make your teeth clench. you're embarrassed by how wet the sounds are, you don't know how your dad can't hear them. the gushy pull everytime nancy draws her digits out and the little squelch they make when she pumps them back in. your thighs are shaking.

"dear." you feel her other hand flutter over your forehead. "oh, you're hot as a furnace. you poor thing. here-" you have to bite down your whine as he fingers slip free from your hole. "-you did so good. finished your whole plate. you can be excused now. I'll be up with some warm tea and medicine for you, alright?"

you nod numbly, legs shaking as you stand. nancy smiles at you and deftly swipes the fingers covered in your juices across her lips, tasting you.

you know the medicine shes referring to giving you means her head between your legs, under your nightgown, soft tongue swirling around your enflamed clit as she coaxes cum from you.

𝗣𝗲𝘁𝗲𝗿: How much?

𝗬𝗲𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗮:

𝗡𝗮𝘁𝗮𝘀𝗵𝗮: *glaring*

𝗬𝗲𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗮: Free

𝗡𝗮𝘁𝗮𝘀𝗵𝗮:

𝗡𝗮𝘁𝗮𝘀𝗵𝗮: You bitch

𝗬𝗲𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗮: Here take her

𝗣𝗲𝘁𝗲𝗿: Aww thanks

𝗬𝗲𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗮: It was nice making deals with you Parker

𝗬𝗲𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗮: *runs away*

Peter: The love you two have for each other is so wonderful. I wish I had a sibling…

Natasha: *Smiles*

Yelena: I’ll sell her to you.

Yelena: Cheap.