I'm Still Thinking About Adonis' And Rei's Conversation In The Graveyard. Like, It Turns Our Perception

i'm still thinking about adonis' and rei's conversation in the graveyard. like, it turns our perception of rei/adonis and their emotional intelligence on its head. on the surface, rei is incredibly charismatic and emotionally intelligent, while adonis is awkward and frequently takes people too seriously, but when things get personal, rei backs off while adonis is open and honest about his feelings, which makes adonis excellent at understanding rei. on the other hand, rei makes a faux pas. (cw for brief discussions of racism below the cut)

adonis comments that rei seems down, and rei is surprised that adonis noticed

rei IMMEDIATELY discredits adonis' statement, saying that humans can say they care for and respect someone as much as they want, but they never make a true effort to understand them. when adonis says it's because he's known rei for a while, rei calls him cocky. he's clearly uncomfortable with being understood and tries to steer the conversation away from personal topics, keeping it to light banter

rei then accidentally triggers one of adonis' insecurities by calling him a "killjoy." it's not his fault, but the nickname triggers adonis' insecurities anyway because he hates being associated with violent words like "kill," and it shows that rei is not always aware of the impact his words have on adonis. this leads adonis to show a moment of vulnerability and talk openly about his struggles as an immigrant in japan because he feels as though everyone around him is wary of him and fails to make an effort to understand him, instead judging him as violent from a glance, which is such a deeply heartbreaking sentiment -- it's so clear how ingrained this internalized racism is such that being called a "killjoy" set him off. he talks about how he feels as though he tries to behave as a model minority and be perfect and quiet so no one misunderstands him, but they misunderstand him anyway (and isn't this what rei and his family is doing? trying to be perfect so that he is simply allowed to exist, so people don't see him as a monster?). here is adonis giving tangible proof that both he and rei are misunderstood by others, showing that he does actually understand what rei is going through on a personal level.

adonis tells rei that he was hurt by rei blaming him for being the leader of the vampires, too (it wasn't rei's fault, but adonis doesn't know that). rei replies with "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, okay? I love you" which is exactly what he said humans did in the very beginning -- you can love someone without making a real effort to understand them. rei (in this specific conversation) is refusing to understand adonis because doing so would mean having to acknowledge his own weaknesses

and adonis shows that he was listening to rei and says that it's not about loving or hating someone. it's about understanding someone.

i love the scene of adonis noticing that rei was depressed post-crossroads and all the discussions of adonis being particularly clever / observant throughout the story... it really hammers home the adonis and rei parallels. both emotionally intelligent people who feel othered and who are driven by their love for humans and desire to help even strangers to the point of self sacrifice. the major differences between them are caused by adonis' crippling self esteem (which is something he's slowly but surely learning to improve) and rei being treated like a god (something that's also changing as rei allows himself to be fallible)