Love And Hate Coexist Together In One Person A Continuous Fluctuation Between Sympathy And Disgust I

I was a sculpture made of ice When you put your arms around me And though I lived in a world of winter Your touch was warm and I felt it

Even though I tried to resist Because I was so afraid of you Your body was a home I'd left And the frozen ceiling cracked open

Suddenly you were a torrent of sun Searching for my heart so cold beneath And because I was hardened I couldn't move So you kept me safe as I melted

Into you I became flesh and bone Bits of slush falling off my skin Finally I could move my arms again Around your body I was defrosting

But as the cold body comes inside To the fire inside the hot house The burning becomes too much too soon And it hurt you to touch me that way

My sun went back up to the sky To look at me adoringly from afar Still I am here on the ground in a puddle Naked and alone and shivering

What do the living Do with the dead? What do we do?

What do we do when Someone vanishes?

What do the living Do when consumed With such a void? Death Is for the living

For a moment My mind jumps to Another world A place more familiar To me than anywhere Here on earth

It is sunshine But brighter It is a meadow But softer It is a butterfly But shining It is a reality But fleeting

I try to hold on It lasts a second I try to keep it inside My flowing brain But as quickly as it Comes it is gone

I am remembering But forgetting I had belonged But briefly I was at peace Completely I am searching Come back

To think they were not together That they were never lead To merging paths To hold each other on nights So quiet and clear

To think they were not together In the warmest of hours The most joyous of holidays Longing fading still

That they were not together Is such a vast and endless void Their absence so tangible And thick as the air In the greenest stormy sky

To think they held hands But not each other's That they kissed lips That were not their own And called it a life

Where do moths live in winter? Where do wild chickens go? I see them out now that it's spring But how did they brave the snow?

How do frogs slow their bodies To sleep within the ice? Who else shelters in the walls With the warm and cozy mice?

I wonder if the fish feel cold When all the lakes freeze over Now I welcome back the friends I haven't seen since last October

Though the finches and the foxes Have been here all year long I just saw the first chipmunk Since all of them had gone

How do rabbits breathe In all the ground they are under? I guess that I could look it up But it's more fun to wonder

My body won't hold me There's too much of me for one, I'm more than just a face or skin Changing, never done.

I am a heart and a mind And the worlds in my head, I wasn't made by hands But sparked from fire instead.

Maybe I am energy Am I a spirit or a soul? So just being physical Is never really being whole.

Arms and legs won't cage me I am not grounded by the land, I know how it feels to fly When all I do is stand.

I love writing About Her And Him Whoever They are

Some people worry of my isolation They think, "you are alone, this is terrible" I think, you are surrounded, which is worse

They think I need companionship Because they need companionship Because "that eccentric person over the hill Far away from the village must be lonely"

Speak too much and I will stop speaking Get to know me and I will unknow you I have moments of wanting to be known They are fleeting and most often, regretful

This is not some flaw in myself to be fixed Do not teach me to socialize I am solitary and they think I am not thriving

Yes, I am in relationship with the wasteland You read of it like it is not my refuge When the quiet, the solitude, the great alone Carries me like a protective lover, away

I feel a kinship with birds and spiders One eats the other The smaller one is feared The larger one is adored

A bird is artistic and beautiful A spider creates beautiful art A spider catches its prey in the art A bird catches a spider for a little snack

I am always drawn to water It is not my sign But I am in love with Cancer Her fluid emotions And I feel her in the Unfurling of waves

I swim in her like A brush mixing paint Like cream poured in coffee Or ink dripped on a page I am flowing Completely immersed in her

She takes me to an island Under her planet moon Soaking in the night Fierce as Diana She will rise up and Snatch me down into the sea