You Were There Maybe You Didn't Know You Weren't Aware

I want to be somebody's songbird The same unclaimed way The earth is the galaxy's Or roots belong to the trees I long to be somebody's

I want to be somebody's songbird Create a new sound Compose our very own tune Whistle in the afternoon Singing come home to me soon

I want to be somebody's songbird A finch or a sparrow Even brown stands out in snow Under winter's dark I glow Somebody already knows

When he visits me He holds me so close So tightly to him I feel brittle As he squeezes The air from my lungs And says love In an almost Forbidden type of way

He speaks in parables In similes and metaphors Because the words Are unspeakable His eyes are sharp And mine are sharper And he holds My hand gently but He wears rings

So he comes to me At night, always night All night with him And his trembling Radiating body We run and run Running off energy That cannot be Touched or mentioned

In sleep he comes to me Finally, a release Our craving manifests His fingers are bare Promising to come for me To come back to me Night after night I dodge his words He made promises That were not for me

And in the morning In foggy waking He is not at my side He did not come back And he calls me to say He really is leaving But he is not coming Home, here to me But building a new one Close by with her

An artist can insert light into the world Reach into their own acid stomach Pulling out their intestines Shining, glowing, posing as hope Let me make it so Let me take my own guts in my hands Twist them and turn them Into a blue and red balloon animal Give it to our tired country The rotten thing does not fester Inside me today. Can I do it? I want to take pieces of myself That have atrophied and heal them Turn them into something resembling art

Armenian princess I don't want to go to Hollywood with you I told you I don’t want To walk on the stars Or hold hands On any boulevard

Black haired goddess No we won't be beautiful I don't want to meet your parents Don't explain me To your sister I will not come to your house I won't visit her

My green eyed friend We will not be a team You won't act in your plays While I write my dreams You see something in me That isn't there Go to LA and let me be

I write my own universe inside a snow globe Where fields of lilac and rows of holly Coexist without juxtaposition Where a mother is also a sister And a sister is someone I can trust Where truth and reality do not conflict With any of my own personal truths or realities

Shake me hard, turning me this way and that I am in flux, I am inside the water That from the outside looking in poses as air The winter birds and the summer birds Perch in the same trees, eat the same seeds I am dreaming here with eyes open Love does not perish here, not in my delicate orb

Moonlight, moonlight You are so much kinder to me Than your lover sun Who is so demanding As to burn.

You, the brightest one Who watches over us Whispering, "do not be afraid," You, who makes the dark A bedroom.

Moonlight, moonlight Caretaker of the earth Giver of sweetest dreams, I keep you with me in the day As thoughts.

They crystallize in untroubled silence In this early pause, it's a quiet science When you look up Standing so perfectly still No movement but your Breath billowing up towards the sky One catches your eye Before weaving slowly to the ground Before joining the others in the frost You don't make a sound As its perfect, individual shape is lost

I grip the windowsill too tightly As the dark clouds pour Heavily over an angry ocean Crashing, spraying, flooding Lightning strikes again, again! It's a storm, it's raging, and it's

Too loud! Too loud! Too loud!

Then you tap on my door You slip into my mind And everything else is on mute

I thought we were art The kind that could heal Your paintings abstract My writing surreal Pieces that where honest And made us both feel But I wanted concrete And you've been ideal I look at you and see More than sex appeal Maybe you don't want art Or anything real I'm just another secret Someone new to conceal

We are all down to earth here Even the birds in the sky Especially the beetles and bees and flies All as one on our mystical sphere We are all down to earth here

We are all part of the dust If we piled it up, what would it be? Would we create a new being entirely? The magic of our world is hushed We are all part of the dust