Let The Wind Take It Dissolve Into The Air The Remnants Of Our Horrible Affair

Come to me asking for love And I will lay you down in the Forest clearing Sun through the branches Slivers of gold, tiny trickling rivers Like goddesses over your skin. Here it is, I will tell you Here in the damp grass, on top Of the mossy rocks, softness I can't offer that anymore Though I want to Gaia, please take it from here

I can't wish you happy birthday Because we are ghosts now Ghosts who do not linger On the same plane of existence

How abruptly we became memories While our lives were still Flourishing and so full How quickly the two of us vanished

I send you messages into the void Into the echo chamber of my heart Bouncing around in the dark I miss you, miss you, miss you

Sometimes I think I can see you Your face unchanged and wild But you are a wild dream That ripples away at my touch

Can you feel me reaching out Now that we live only in my mind? So many years since you disappeared The two of us remain only in me

Close your eyes, I'm in the corner of your mind, The corner you see in your Peripheral vision but hardly look at. I'm in the shadows with a match, The flame that crackles and sizzles And sparks, burning lower Until the tiny coals go out Between my finger tips. I'm the light that shines When you can't always see.

Close your arms, I'm the warm, solid Scarred and healed Body that fits between your limbs Like the smallest Of the nesting dolls. I'm the familiar smell of Sweat and sage, unwashed And a little greasy, I'm the familiar sensation you can feel In bed when you lay awake at night, The last breath before sleep.

Don't close your heart, We've both been hurt, Dragged across the street And unknowingly scratched up By one another. I am your inner child's teddy bear, The one that's missing an eye With a bit of stuffing coming out. We are the animals we keep on pillows When we are old When we are bit more gentle, When we have the thread To sew up the torn parts. When we don't need to be Perfect anymore.

I will be whatever you need to see in me today, My body a canvas open to interpretation. Here I am soft, delicate as silk; There I am sharp, rugged as stone. I am shifting, gliding, reshaping myself, I am swimming through the waters of my gender, Moving from room to room In this house I am calling my body.

But I am twisting in the hallway, Arms and legs spilling through every door; I am too much at once and so never quite enough. Tell me what you want, I will shape myself to fit. Make me compatible with your desire Until I forget the shape of myself entirely.

(In your rejection I’ve flooded our home, Drowning in the rooms where you once wanted me.)

Your head in your hands My face below yours I look up to your watering eyes A pain I can feel in the Tensing of your thighs I whisper to you "It's alright, it's alright." Your hopes falling as They leak from your eyes Dreams that dissolve as Quickly as the splattering Of droplets on clothing Evaporation so ever present As your expectations of us Or simply and only of me

I'm both a brother And a sister A chameleon A shapeshifter I was the man I thought you wanted And woman again When you missed her

I've been handsome I've been gorgeous And being both Has been euphoric I've been everything All at once I am both malleable And formless

My voice is soft Fluid and cozy My body smooth And warm and homey When I speak to you I hope you hear My soul is steady And you know me

Look how unsettled They are, sweetheart Mainstream society Shaking their label Makers in our faces Demanding we bend To their jaded ideas Fake beauty standards And accept it all as Flawless dharma

How lucky we are To have effortlessly Escaped the downfall Of our communities If we ever belonged To any at all In the first place, We're just laughing

You and I take Unmarked, high grass Tick filled walks Away from the markers Heavy breathing Trudges into our Very own meadow Of unquestioned and Unblinking acceptance

My love, you have Never asked questions Of me, or asked me To try to understand Never did you worry That I wouldn't see you Or leave you alone By the weeping willow

We always read similar Philosophy books Flipping pages and Comparing interpretations You've never had to try To define yourself To explain away Your perfect face I knew you before You told me your name

Frost came and bit the earth, Snowflakes fell like feathers. Crystals landed cold upon me, Some were just the weather.

Icicles dripped upon my heart And froze it for forever, I think it beats in winter squalls, Although it's just the weather.

Did you think that I would change? That my eyes and nose And lips would rearrange? Did you worry that my kiss Would taste different Or just wouldn't feel the same?

Did you worry I would smell wrong? Like I was new Like you didn't know My pheromones? That my scent wouldn't be as It had been all along?

Did you hear my voice a new way? Did it feel foreign on your ears Like you hadn't heard it Every day? Did the notes in songs I sang Sound cracked and frayed?

Did you think my hands would feel new? That they wouldn't be the ones That knew you? Or you wouldn't want to hold them Maybe you were afraid So you refused to

I would have loved you just the same The way I used my body Wouldn't have changed Unless you wanted me to That same softness would remain I'm still carrying your name I hold our torch And I'm forever carrying our flame

Now my eyes watch moths And spiders, crickets in the night, Infinity's glowing diamonds, The darkest skies alight.

I keep company in blades of grass That were browned by the sun. An eternity of passions passed, If asked, I'll say it's done.

Belong do I to the moon And what it does to all the sea. It cycles through all I have left, We're bound, the moon and me.