Our Splitting Experience

I figured out how to have sex with a couple of my headmates recently and I’m still super fascinated by it. I can’t really explain how it works, especially since I tend to be frontstuck and can barely go into the inner world, but I tend to overlap a lot with the ones who cofront, and me feeling sensations while also feeling their sensations while they were feeling my sensations was kinda insane. It’s also nice that in that level of cofronting our thoughts overlap some so we didn’t have to put things into words to discuss what we wanted, we just mutually agreed on what the dynamics were/what we were doing.

Plural POV #68

Striving for minimalism, and therefore striving to have the least amount of clothes possible, amongst other things, is incredibly difficult when you need to accommodate all of your headmates preferring skirts, and those who prefer jeans, and those who have sensory problems with formal shirts, and those who love formal shirts, and those who need tight clothing, and those who need loose clothing, and those who accessorise every outfit with everything they've got, and those who-

I cannot stress enough how freeing it is, as a system, to become chill with not knowing who you are.

There have been multi-week periods where we don’t know who we are, unsure if we’re somebody new or just one of the established people having a Weird Time. Usually it’s the latter.

We tend to front for extended periods of time (like, normally a minimum of three days, sometimes up to several months), and the confusing Unknown times can be just as long.

Like, I have no idea who the hell I am right now. I know a couple of people I’m not, and a few I might be, but that’s it. And that’s chill. I don’t need to know my name, I’m just sippin my cranberry juice and minding my own business. This is normal for us.

I see so many systems on here worried about somehow faking or fundamentally misunderstanding their experiences, because nobody else has talked about it, so it must not be real, right?

Just a reminder to systems with their own Weird Times: it’s ok to have experiences you’ve never seen in anyone else’s journey.

Being plural isn’t something easily categorized or broken down. If anything counts as wibbly-wobbly-timey-wimey stuff, it’s the experience of being multiple entities in one brain.

Your plurality is inherently unique, and there is no mold it could possibly fit. Don’t try to make it fit.

inside of you there are two wolves. one is a moron. the other is also a moron. you are plural

Long system ask game!

Because it's been ages since we made one and we felt like it.

What type of system are you?

How many people are there in your system?

Do you have more introjects or non-introjects?

How much control do you have over your headspace (if you have one)?

Do you have any subsystems?

Do you have any in-system couples?

How did you discover your systemhood? Or did you become one on purpose?

How do you feel about system roles, and do you use them?

What are your thoughts on Pluralpedia?

Do you use anything to keep track of switching?

Have you ever had a change in hosts?

Do you have a system name? How did you pick it?

Do you have any nonhuman members? Feel free to list their species!

Do you have any headspace pets?

Current fronter/fronters, share some random info about you!

Do you have a partner system? How did you meet?

Have you ever mistaken a character of yours for a headmate? What about the other way around?

Does anyone have any skills that the others don't?

What's something y'all tend to agree on?

What about something you tend to disagree on?

Do symptoms of neurodivergencies/mental illness tend to manifest the same way or differently among headmates?

Do you have any syskids?

Share an in-system joke!

Has how you view your plurality changed?

If you have fictives, do they participate in their source fandom? If yes, are they open about who they are in fandom spaces?

How do you handle headmates having different spiritual beliefs?

How do you decide on major life decisions (where to live, what to study, what work to have, etc)?

Do you have any system traditons?

Current fronter, do you have your own playlist? Feel free to share it!

Do you have any art of anyone in the system? Feel free to show it off!

How do you handle it when people in the system don't get along?

Current fronter, is there anything that makes it obvious you're the one fronting? (Voice, accent, body language, typing style, etc)

If you have syskids, how do they feel about stereotypical "babby tawk"?

Share something about your newest member!

Do you tend to have collective or separate interests and hobbies?

If you have introjects, what source do you have the most from?

Are you out as plural to anyone irl?

Do you know any systems irl?

Which headmate was the biggest surprise?

Do you have a singletsona?

Do you have any collective labels?

What's the most common gender in your system?

What's the most common sexuality in your system?

What's your favorite app/website/etc for plural stuff?

Do you tend to have the same taste in food or not?

Is it hard or easy for you to switch?

Do you experience system-related amnesia?

Share something weird a headmate has done!

Current fronter, what's your favorite ice cream flavor?

Share a silly fear someone in the system has!

Current fronter, describe your aesthetic!

If you have outworld pets, do they tend to act differently around different headmates?

Has anyone ever figured out you were a system without you telling them?

When it comes to syskids, is there anyone in particular that takes care of them?

Does anyone in the system identify as otherkin, therian, or fictionkin?

Have you ever switched in an awkward moment? What happened?

Do you ever switch without realizing it?

Are you ever blurry? How do you handle it?

Has anyone ever treated an introject badly because of who their source is?

Current fronter, share a pic of your "face claim!"

Y'all being friends w/ plurals is so fucking funny /pos

Bc tell me why I can be talking to the host, and then out of fucking nowhere Vanny from FNAF pops out and goes "Lmao the children emerge from the holes" and then just fucking dips

I sit down w/ my friend and then they turn into a completely DIFFERENT person right before my eyes and we just continue talking like nothing happens

For fucks sake, I get a front row seat to hosts complaining abt the other people inhabiting their brain like they're annoying roommates in a cramped air BNB

Shout-out to my plural friends. I know if no one's got me, Junko Enoshima from Danganronpa's got me. /Ref /silly

(Positive/affectionate post made by a singlet who loves its plural friends very much /p)

Personal experiences of Ones Plurality

For years now we've considered ourselves a system, and this is a long post rambling about who we are, and why we are.

We're multiple, plural, a system, a collective, so many different terms we enjoy using interchangeably because they all feel they fit. We are multiple entities as much as we are parts of what is one whole in this world; internally we are many, externally we are one. We live one life, but each of us are pieces to living it, so we are plural. Our system formed from trauma, we were neglected and abused as a child, we've been around horrible people since we were little, our life has been unstable for a long time. There is no arguing that trauma is not part of why we're a system, or that it wasn't the catalyst for the dissociation that caused us to become parts; so we are a system with roots of a dissociative disorder. But we don't only exist because of it. We use the label adaptive, because that is the initial cause of us, to adapt to our life, our adversities, our trauma, our disorders... but we also use created as a label; we're mixed origin. Our system especially nowadays tends to linger in fragments, sometimes those fragments take upon their own identity. Sometimes we purposefully influence them, we create the alters we want, we need, out of their existence. We create within ourselves, we form naturally, and we split from our pain... so we are a mixed origin, adaptive and created, OSDD system. And that fits quite well for all we need it to. If it were up to some of us, we wouldn't bother with these labels at all, but for others within who we are these labels are a comfort; an easy telling that "this is me, this is who I am and I want to say it and be heard." We don't like -genic labels, they're narrow, and make you decide between having to identify with trauma itself or disregarding what part it could play even if it didn't form your system. For awhile we used them because it was all we really had, it was the easier option because people knew; but in the same breath it came with peoples assumptions that we hated having upon ourselves. We mentioned prior our initial origins, having a dissociative disorder. We don't particularly view our plurality or systemhood itself as disordered, we've plenty that affects us being multiple in negative ways though though... CPTSD, OCD, BPD, NPD, Various physical disabilities, Etc, They all make things harder. They are what disorders us, causes discord and pain. Our system makes it easier, better for us, at least nowadays. In the past, years ago, I think we would've said our systemhood is inherently disordered; it caused our host then stress, unbearably. it was a painful experience, scary, anxiety inducing for more reasons than one. But we've grown, we've changed, we've overcome a lot and our views have changed. I think it's fair to hope we'd have changed from when we were 13 years old... We've spoken before that the spaces we'd used to be in helped us all but none, when we were staunchly anti-endo because it was the "right" option (and the option that, at the time, made us feel safe while we were in the company of those who felt it right to harass people outside of those views.) We were scared of ourselves, scared of the people around us. Scared of being wrong. Existing wrong.

When the information we were given was that we were broken, we were so horribly abused (which, frankly, remains true in our case because we were), that we were broken by it. And if we hadn't been horribly broken, it was wrong to claim we were this way... which of course is hardly the truth. When we stepped out of that bubble, realizing how tired and awful it made us felt... how much worse and harder it made things for us. We began to get more information, we had people tell us we were wrong (and we hated it at first honestly), we had people who directed us to others who had resources. And we learned. And we learned more about ourselves because of it. We learned more about dissociative disorders, about plural history, about the experiences of others outside of it, about how other aspects of ourselves intertwine with the rest of it... We learned a lot of things we disregarded or didn't think was necessary to know prior. Because we thought we knew everything we needed to already, that it was a trauma disorder, and the only way to be this way was to be traumatized. And we were very quickly challenged in our at-the-time narrow views. Sometimes those old spaces still linger even as we've come to accept more views, more various systems and the way they exist too. Existing in spaces where others are so open, sometimes it still feels odd, and we feel isolated, the strange and weird one of the bunch because of how we simply are in our life. We don't understand or grasp the experiences of those with elaborate innerworlds, or who retain memories within them. We never had that. We don't understand the people who will openly text as various alters talking to one another, responding to each other. We've always been so internal with ourselves, that seeing communication in those ways felt... strange? Even down to people who make a big deal of new alters, who fuss and whine about even considering the idea of it. We don't get it.

It's hard sometimes not to think to ourselves "wow, that's cringe/stupid" or that "they should just roleplay" sometimes when presented with these sorts of situations. But we know that the way we think sometimes is cruel or overly mean and judgemental; and while we know it comes from a place of our own insecurity, and retaining some of the things from spaces we'd used to be in as a kid... it's still awful, and our place to challenge it when we think this way. These people don't hurt me. Their experiences do not change mine. I am still me. They are them. And that's okay. And that is what I will always remind myself of.

The various pieces of our story, the ones that made us, are exactly why we've landed on the labels we use now. They are what have made us syscourse neutral, an endo safe system, someone who wants to seek our more information and enjoys learning about this side of life.

Dude I need claws SO bad. Except I need prosthetics to be really sturdy, so I can actually like. Use them for shit. Like I wanna be able to wear them to help me climb or claw at stuff or whatever I need them for. But people only make like plastic or foam or resin claws. It's not STRONG enough. I need like. IRON claws. STEEL claws. Claws I can climb trees and rock faces with. Claws that could kill a man if I wanted them to. It's a fucking TRAGEDY these aren't a thing, and I swear to God I'm about to learn metalworking just so I can make myself a suitable set.

I could hear a discussion happening nearby in the headspace when I was focusing on Tetris and I could tell it was important, or at least the two that were talking thought it was important, and I was casually listening along as they came to a decision, but then the moment my game finished it was yoinked from my brain like a dream fading the moment you wake up. It’s a bit D: to feel like there’s something I’m supposed to know, though I’m not sure if they knew I was listening or not

Body is ftm.

Most headmates are cis men.

Watch as they get frustrated over living the trans experience simply because they don't identify as trans but are trans anyway.

It's an interesting experience, to me anyway.

Note: We're all queer in one way or another. Just not all of us can appreciate the trans experience the body has to go through so we can be ourselves.