Plural POV #66

I always find it so interesting what skills which headmates have. Like, Lysander has been so good at using our phone despite being from some historical or fantasy world, but the first time Damian tried to use simply plural he almost threw our phone in rage because he had a ton of trouble typing. He also sent a threatening message to himself which I find hilarious, not sure if it was on purpose or if he was trying to send it to someone else (wish I knew who he had beef with lol).

It’s so much work to front when you haven’t in a while

Like, I’m glad to be back around, but Jay built up Bureaucracy (wow I didn’t know how to spell that) and I had to navigate like four things 😭

Idk man I’m just here to miss goats and wear tank tops I don’t wanna spend all my time formally joining and running The Council

But heyyyy if having a Council keeps us communicating it’s a good thing, so I can’t really complain

Is it OCD intrusive thoughts? Is it a hyperactive ADHD brain? Is it a headmate trying to communicate? Is it MaDD dialogue? Is it just a random thought?

If you don't know your order, find out here!

*opens Discord*

*discovers “I” was sharing my poetry last night*

…..what.

ふうた

"Source trauma" and "exo trauma" is real btw.

You can have trauma from something that didn't actually happen because trauma is a reaction to a distressing event, regardless of the actual event happened. Both are comparable to real trauma, so for the love of god stop acting like introjects can't be traumatized from source.

Fictional introjects can be IN their source, they can come from their source. They are no different from other alters.

They can have real experiences as being that character because they're can be that character and if they genuinely believe they do/are, that's not a bad thing and whether source separation is needed, the alter will come to their own conclusion some day.

I think a big part of the reason that I went from anti-endo to endo-safe was absolutely due to how starkly different the communities felt.

Anti-endo communities were hard to engage with. Sure, some of them would focus on their support for each other more than their hatred of endogenic systems. And that's great! However, when you are brought together by your dislike of a certain group, you can't help but feel the hate permiate into so much of it. It always happened eventually. Anti-endo communities had such a focus on systems who were "fake" that I couldn't help but worry I was one of them, no matter how much they told me it was "just endos" they were concerned about.

The endo community (at least the parts I've engaged with and were easy to find) were so kind and respected me as a system, no matter how I felt or my plurality presented. Simply knowing we could find joy in our plurality allowed us to strive for so much more than we had thought possible before.

As a traumagenic system, we've improved so much with our symptoms and communication as a result of the positivity and acceptance we recieved. When we joined communities where we could be authenticallly ourselves (no matter what), we came together and faced so much less conflict between each other. And the conficts we did have, we realized that we could solve them together rather than alone.

When you are constantly doubting if you are "actually a system", you start to push the others away, and that made our dissociation and amnesia so much worse. I understand being careful of self-misdiangnosis, it can put you on the wrong path for how you learn to manage your symptoms. At the same time, the sentiment I often heard from endogenic systems when I was struggling with doubt and denial was very simple: "So what if you're not a system?" In short, it was okay to be wrong.

And that was huge for me. I realized that, no matter if I was a system or not, the techniques I used to improve ourselves and communicate with one another beneficial to me. At the end of the day, even if I wasn't a system after all, the skills I had found we invaluble to my health and well-being. So when I fall into denial spirals, no matter what I think about myself, I now know that I don't need to deprive myself of what has helped me, even if it is a "system thing." I don't feel scared to use these skills anymore (even in denial spirals), beacuse the line between what systems and non-systems or singlets can/can't do suddenly wasn't a big deal or a battle of "who can do what."

Our plurality is no longer a burden or a scar to us. It is simply who we are. We've learned so much about each other and ourselves since we've been accepted in full, and since we've learned to accept others. Endogenic communities have helped us (a traumagenic system) probably more than they'll ever know, and we're forever grateful for that.

So thank you, endogenic systems.

There’s a chance our first fictive from a popular source will be Szeth son-son Vallano. Our only previous fictive is from a tiny tiny source so I need to get my feelings sorted out* before this presence I feel ends up becoming someone xP

*I just don’t know what it will be like to have a mainstream fictive, and uncertainty makes me anxious, of course I’ll treat any new headmates as well as possible

by odwyer_sio9