Keeping The Simply Plural App Installed Is Such A Hassle For Us Because The Host Keeps Jumping Rapidly

Charlie started calling a group of us Boy’s Night when we all co-fronted for like a whole day, it was really fun. Shekel and Pitt are the most useful combo, but the Boy’s Night members (me/Jay, Charlie, Grey, and Seth) were such a good time xP

Me, Taranza, & Something are the fronting combo of all time bc its like Milo (Me): man we should watch spiderman again

Something: and get a cookie

Taranza: please quiet down my fellow gentlemen, for not only are we out of your "cookies," we have also watched every piece of spiderman media available to us.

This is an apparently hot take but like… can we stop normalizing the idea that all littles / syskids are genuinely all going to be mentally children or “innocent” and in need of sanitized spaces.

Systems are gonna have littles who are nothing more than kids in headspace, yet act and function like anyone else.

Systems are gonna have littles who are traumatized.

Systems are gonna have littles who are persecutors.

Systems are gonna have littles who are sexual alters.

Systems are gonna have littles who otherwise have no choice in the adult topics they have to live with.

and the list goes on and on like it could in any other case; Whether or not you like it.

It’s up to a system to deem what they want and think is appropriate for THEIR own system, not for someone outside to decide. Just like every other type of alter you can’t just blanket they’re all going to be some sort of way?

(Obviously, littles who ARE basically just normal children that exist, but this post isn’t about that.)

by odwyer_sio9

Do any other hosts (especially ones that tend to be front stuck) feel like they don’t have an identity at all? Like, I know that I’m not Shekel, and I know that I’m not Monty, or Tamm, or *insert the list of headmates I know about* but I don’t know what I am.

I want to make a flowchart for when I’m blurry but I’m usually fronting on some level and I don’t know how to make an “Am I Jay?” section when I feel like the leftover scraps of everyone else. I don’t know what I look like on the inside because I figure I look like the body even though I have no connection to it (seriously, the not recognizing ourself in the mirror is bad).

I’m just the default setting. I know I’m a guy because of crippling dysphoria, and I like various things, but I have no way to figure out my identity when so much of it is other people.

For me communication got easier when I stopped being so paranoid about whether I was faking or not, but if that doesn’t apply to you, disregard.

If possible, find a headmate you like who gives you permission to use positive triggers to pull to front sometimes (though discuss boundaries around when and how that’s done), and focus on communication with that one specific headmate. That’s how I became friends with Shekel - he has an incredibly vivid presence, so I can really tell when he’s nearby/co-con/fronting, and I’ve learned how to positive trigger him forward. I don’t do it often, because he’s busy on the inside and gets tired when too close to front for too long, but he told me that he’d rather me pull him to front than put the body through a panic attack, so I tend to reach out to him first. Once you learn good communication with one you can both work on communication with others.

I don’t know if you can hear your headmates on the inside, but if you can, try talking with them about things they like when they’re around - they’ll be more likely to have a genuine conversation that way in my experience, and it’ll open up communication.

I also recommend physical touch on the inside if that’s something you’re capable of and comfortable with. 90% of my interactions with the others are them coming up behind me when I’m fronting and ruffling my hair, rubbing my shoulders, slapping my ass, hugging me, etc because they know it helps comfort me and keep me calm. We find that the more we can touch in headspace the more we can communicate by… handing each other thoughts? It’s hard to explain, and it is different from communicating on the inside with words, but when Shekel and I were building the Council and debating who should be on it we were so co-conscious and overlapped on the inside it almost felt like we were having two trains of thought but we kept using our brains and each other’s to think with. I couldn’t tell if he was having a thought with my brain or if I was having a thought with his brain, but we were having ideas and discussing them without needing to say a word.

Lastly, written conversations are super helpful, but I’ve found some tricks. When co-con I like to still use discord or simply plural to write out a chat partially for posterity and partially because it’s easier to think when you’re not trying to think into someone’s brain. It really helps communication, but it can be hard to have a genuine conversation, especially if you don’t know each other well. It’s helpful to leave messages around for other headmates (ie a sticky note that says “you are safe” for any headmates that find themselves in front and are confused, or writing your shopping/to-do list on the body’s arm so everyone knows what’s supposed to be happening if they end up in front) but it’s hard to communicate through notes alone from our experience. That’s why I like to try and get them talking about themselves and their interests, it’s just a deeper bonding activity. We’re trying to pair our known headmates up into ones that specifically practice communicating with each other to better improve group cohesion, and I saw that Tamm was asking Lysander about his exomemories. They’ve never spoken directly that I know of, but they’re going to leave each other messages on simply plural until they become friends enough to communicate on the inside/more directly, and then if I want to talk to Lysander I can reach out to Tamm, who I tend to see more often.

Sorry this is so long, but good luck with communication and I hope this helps some! As always feel free to ignore any advice that doesn’t apply to or help you.

-Jay

Need to start working on getting better communication with the other's cause I'm getting anxious about not being able to have a full conversation with them and having a hard time contacting them.

I don't quite know where to start so any advice would be nice :)

"Worst thing about plurality is the amnesia" "worst thing about plurality is in-sys fighting" LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER worst thing about plurality is the strain on our bank account trying to accommodate eight different fashion styles

system protip: if trying to keep track of your switches and fragments feels impossible and is driving you crazy, stop doing it. or at the very least dont put as much weight into making it perfect. you dont need to track every switch, you dont need every fragment logged. sometimes its easier to just exist as a system than drive yourself up the wall trying to micromanage everything about your system

Bergama, Turkey

Hell

wOAH WEVE HAD A TUMBLR FOR SIX MONTHS??? Yea this is definitely the longest we’ve gone without me repressing things whoops