Thinking About Riding Matty While His Hands Are Tied Behind His Back Yummy Yummy Monday Evening Thoughts

fighting with my sheets - matty healy

(mdni) in which you discover your boyfriend’s dirty little secret and bring him to his knees. part of the white and gold universe. 3600 words.

warnings: daddy kink, praise, degradation, masturbation, sex toys, sub!matty, oral (f and m receiving)

Matty’s at work when you find it, tucked innocently away under his bed. You’re getting ready for your date and you drop an earring, sending it skittering into darkness. Groaning, you kneel, feeling blindly for it, and your hand bumps against a shoebox. Curious, you tug it into the light; it’s innocuous, plain black and not matching any of the shoes you know he owns, the tape loosely holding it shut practically inviting you to nose through its contents.

Peeling the lid off, you flush siren-red, staring down at the box in disbelief. Your boyfriend’s hidden sex toy collection sits in your lap, cock rings and vibrators and even a fucking fleshlight staring back up at you. Flustered, you shove the box back under the bed, filthy fantasies playing so vividly in your head that you can practically hear his sweet, syrupy moans as he fucks into the toy. He’d be flushed, sweating, taking out his frustrations on the plastic the way he uses you after a long day.

Head swimming, your thighs clench, kicking off your panties and collapsing back against the pillows. Your own collection of toys lives in one of Matty’s bedside drawers, and you retrieve one of your vibrators, pressing it intently to your clit. A buzz of sharp, delicious pleasure rockets up your spine, a moan of his name falling from your lips as you grind down against the toy. You don’t hear Matty until he announces his presence, too distracted by the liquid heat pooling between your thighs. 

“Hi, princess,” he says, and you jolt, heart racing. “What are you doing?”

“What does it look like?” you snap, bucking your hips and moaning theatrically. “C’mere.”

Matty laughs softly, slowly crossing the room to kneel at the foot of the bed. “Don’t be a brat,” he scolds. “What’s got you all needy, darling?” Oh, if only he knew.

What’s left of your brainpower goes on holding your cards close to your chest. “Want you,” you murmur, and Matty clicks his tongue fondly, his hand covering yours at the base of the toy.

“Here, baby, let me,” he urges, leaning down to kiss you as your hand falls from between your legs to your side. He picks up a familiar rhythm, your vision blurring with pleasure as Matty rolls the toy over your swollen clit. “So, so pretty, baby,” he praises. “My gorgeous girl. Fuckin’ dripping for me, yeah? Always so wet for your Daddy. Pretty little slut.”

You squirm, his words swirling together with the dizzying pleasure pulsing under your skin. “Only for you, Daddy,” you promise, pouting up at him until he kisses you again, slowly running the vibrator along your inner thigh as you tremble in anticipation. Matty dials the vibration up a notch, a scream tearing from your throat as he brings it back to your sensitive clit, intense pleasure-pain arcing up your spine.

Heat pools low in your belly, blood pounding in your ears as your heartbeat thrums in your cunt. “That’s right, pretty baby,” he smirks against your lips. “You’re all mine.” Breathing hard against Matty’s mouth, you writhe against the toy, desperate little whines slipping from your lips as your orgasm builds at the base of your spine. “Are you close, darling?”

“Mhmm,” you moan, head hazy. “Please, Daddy. Wanna cum f’you,” you slur out, deliriated and almost drunk on his touch.

Matty clicks his tongue. “We have reservations, baby,” he smirks, pulling the vibrator away from your clit. The loss feels like a physical ache, your body thrashing in protest as Matty kisses you softly and pulls away, wandering off to clean the toy as your chest heaves. “Come on, darling,” he says, emerging from the bathroom and watching you trying to catch your breath. “We’re gonna be late.”

Seething and unsatisfied, you pick yourself up and dress for dinner. It is really lovely, a secluded table at one of your favourite restaurants, candlelight sparkling between you with Matty gazing adoringly over your food, but you can’t help the tightness in your limbs, your short responses. You mull over the events of the afternoon, your thoughts circling around that little box under his bed as a revenge plan forms in your mind.

And you never found that fucking earring.

The ice in your veins thaws the longer you scheme, trading in your folded arms and monosyllabic answers for coy smiles and teasing murmurs of yes, Daddy. You let him lead you home and into the bedroom, trading lazy kisses and grinding in his lap. Matty’s hand trails up your thigh, electricity sparking under your skin under his touch. He still thinks he’s in control, you think with a smirk, pinching gently at your thigh as you put on your best performance of being his good little girl.

“Found something earlier, Daddy,” you say, pulling back and tracing your hand down his chest, slowly popping the buttons of his shirt.

Matty chuckles indulgently, still blissfully unaware of what you have in store. “What’d you find, princess?”

You hop to your feet and pull the box free, opening the lid with a smirk. Swallowing thickly, Matty avoids your eyes, shifting nervously as you settle back in his lap. “Do you use all this stuff, Daddy?” you tease, crooking two fingers under his jaw to force his gaze back to yours. 

“I- I used to,” he stammers, and you thumb gently over one of the spots of red on his cheeks.

“S’okay, Daddy,” you murmur, the power he’s handing you thick in your veins. Something about using the sobriquet while he melts under you feels illicit, delicious as it falls easily from your lips. “Don’t have to be embarrassed. Did they make you feel good?” He only nods, seemingly rooted to the spot as you palm over the growing tent in his slacks. “Can I use them on you? Wanna make you feel good, too.” Shuddering, Matty nods again, and you pout down at him, shaking your head. “Words, Daddy. You should know by now,” you tut, dizzy as you use his words on him this time.

“Fuck, yes, I want that,” he gasps, rocking his hips up against your hand.

You giggle, the subtle shine in his eyes familiar, jaw slack in an expression you’ve seen countless times on your own face. “Can you say please, Daddy? S’polite, if I’m giving you what you want.”

“Fuck, please, angel,” Matty almost whimpers, helplessly needy under your touch. You raise an eyebrow in response, an expression you learned from him. “Want you to… use my toys. On me. Please,” he chokes out, hanging his head.

You smile fondly, pressing a kiss against his slack lips. “Good boy. Was that so hard?” Matty moans softly, shuddering as you pop the button of his trousers. “You like when I call you a good boy, Daddy?” you murmur breathily, the dichotomous epithets tangling together in the air between you, thick with lust and promise. “Can you strip for me, baby?”

Obediently, Matty tugs off his shirt and kicks off his slacks, laying against the pillows in just his boxers. You’ll never get over the sight of him like this, chest heaving and cock hard and heavy between his legs; a pulse of arousal washes over you and drips into your panties. A wet patch spreads near his waistband and you grin as you strip to your underwear and straddle him, grinding against his clothed cock and leaning down to kiss him. Matty tangles his hands in your hair, licking desperately into your mouth and rocking his hips against yours. “You need to relax, Daddy,” you say, smiling softly against his mouth and peppering soft kisses over his jaw. “It’ll be more fun that way.”

“Fuck, princess, I’m–” Matty cuts himself off with a gasp as you slide your hand under his waistband and squeeze him gently, cock twitching under your touch. You ease him out of his boxers, a shuddering groan escaping him as his cock thuds against his belly, flushed and dripping precum. 

“Oh, you want this really bad, don’t you, Daddy?” you coo, pumping him slowly, slick desire dripping from your words. “Always callin’ me a slut, but you were just waiting for your turn to be ruined, huh?” You barely recognise your voice, low and dark and dominating, reducing your boyfriend, your smart, suave, older boyfriend into a whining, pathetic mess with a few scant touches. “Are you a slut too, Daddy?” You’ve played with the power dynamic before; Matty needs to give up his control sometimes, when the stress of his day-to-day gets too much for him, but never like this, never turning his filthy, degrading words back on him. The feeling is addictive.

This time, you don’t even have to prompt him. “Yeah, ‘m… ‘M a slut, baby,” Matty whimpers, your cunt clenching at his words. In reward, you dig your nail into his slit, the tip of your finger coming up sticky and coated with the evidence of his desire.

“Such a good boy, Daddy. You ready?”

You climb off him, retrieving the fleshlight and turning back to him. He sucks in a sharp breath at the sight of your hands wrapped around the toy, hips shifting needily as he gasps out, “Yeah. Yeah, ‘m ready, baby. Please.”

You come back to him slowly, teasingly, but he’s been so good that you don’t want to torture him any longer. Uncapping a bottle of lube, you coat the toy in it, fingers sticky and dripping as you slowly slide it down his length. A shuddering moan escapes him, his eyes glued to the sight of you, whining and bucking his hips into the toy. “God, look so fuckin’ pretty like that,” you moan, grinding your hips down against the bed, bursts of hot pleasure rolling under your skin. “Can’t believe you own all this stuff, Daddy,” you giggle breathily, pinching a nipple through your bra as you stroke him. “So naughty. Did you have to settle for all these toys before you had me?”

“Yeah, I did, princess. Had to fuck a plastic pussy before I found the perfect girl to fuckin’ ruin.” Matty chokes out, his words sending a gush of arousal flooding between your legs. “Fuck, feels s’much better when you do it, baby. My best girl, always takin’ such good care of me,” he moans, hips rolling up into your hand.

One of your hands dips into your panties, arousal dripping against your fingers as you rub slow circles into your clit. Whining, you stroke him faster, his rhythmic gasps and whines speeding. Your gaze is fixated on his cock as it disappears into the toy, slick, wet sounds mixing with your moans in the sex-thick air between you. “God, I fuckin’ love seeing you like this. Love when you get all needy f’me, Daddy,” you moan, grinding down against your hand.

Matty’s whines pitch up, pathetically desperate as he chases his release. “‘M gettin’ close, princess, fuck,” he gasps, his thighs trembling. He looks more gorgeous than you’ve ever seen him, flushed red and shaking, sweat-damp curls sticking to his forehead. He’s a fucking vision, and you can’t resist torturing him a little longer.

“Hold it for me, just a little while longer, ‘kay, Daddy?” He whimpers in protest, hips rolling wantonly, all pretence of rhythm long abandoned. “Don’t you wanna be a good boy for me? ‘M always so good for you.” He musters up a scoff, and you fix him with a glare that makes him press his lips together, subdued. “I deserve it, don’t I?”

“Yeah, princess. You do. ‘M gonna be good, promise,” Matty says, face scrunching with effort as you pump his cock at an almost punishing pace. His breath comes in short, sharp gasps, near-pained.

You tease him a little longer, his sweet, desperate moans falling straight to your core. Matty practically fucking pouts when you pull the toy off, and you scoff disparagingly. “Don’t be a brat. Was gonna let you finish in my mouth, but you can have this fuckin’ plastic back, if you prefer.”

“F-fuck, nonono, ‘m sorry, baby. Wanna cum in your pretty mouth.”

“You wanna, huh?” You click your tongue as he nods, whining and grasping at you. “How bad?”

“So fuckin’ bad, princess. God, I fuckin’ need it, fuck! Please, baby. Let me cum, wanna cum f’you,” Matty gasps, knuckles turning white as his hands fist in the sheets.

You frown, toying with the idea of denying him, revenging yourself for earlier, but he’s trying so hard to be good that you can’t bring yourself to. “Such a slut, Daddy,” you pout. “Gettin’ all dumb for me, huh?” He nods, another whimpered please falling unconsciously from his lips. “C’mon, say it. Say it, and I’ll let you cum, okay?” 

Leaning down, you press a kiss to his tip, licking the salt of him off your lips. “‘M a slut f’you, baby,” he slurs out. “Only you. My fucking girl.”

“Good boy,” you praise softly, taking Matty’s cock in your mouth and swallowing around him. He fists a hand in your hair, gasping and babbling praise as you bob your head, moaning around him. His choked gasp is the only warning you get before he’s spilling in your mouth, pulsing down your throat as you swallow greedily. Pulling off him with a groan, you sit back on your heels. “Taste so fucking good, Daddy,” you murmur, trailing your hand down his cheek with a smile. He grasps at you, taking greedy handfuls of your skin as he tugs you to him. Settling next to him, you grab his jaw and pull him into a slow, indulgent kiss, pressing the taste of him into his mouth as his lips press insistently against yours.

“Felt so fucking good, princess. Thank you s’much,” Matty murmurs, pressing close to you, his skin hot and sweat-slick against yours.

You laugh, carding a hand through his damp, messy curls, Matty unconsciously stretching up into the touch. “Oh, baby,” you croon. “I’m not done with you yet,” you smirk, and he shudders. “C’mon, lay back for me, Daddy. Want your mouth.”

He obeys, laying back as you straddle his face unashamedly. You’re soaked, dripping on his tongue, grinding down with a low whine. Pleasure licks up your spine as Matty devours you, nails digging into your thighs with eagerness. Your cunt clenches, already close to the edge just from the state of him, moaning helplessly between your thighs. “God,” you say, whining when Matty curls his tongue perfectly, heat throbbing in your core. “Love havin’ you as my fucktoy for a change.” His cock twitches at your words, and you chuckle softly. “Oh, you like that, Daddy? You like hearing what’s good little toy you are for me?” He sucks on your clit and you swallow a scream, blinding ecstasy spiralling through your limbs.

You lose your grip on reality the longer Matty tongue-fucks you, lapping at your soaked cunt with fervour. The burn in your thighs aches deliciously, mixing with the pleasure buzzing insistently in the base of your skull. His name tumbles from your lips, over and over as your awareness of anything else slips away. Your head is hazy, swimming in desire, Matty’s tongue swirling gloriously over your clit. “God, ‘m so fuckin’ close, Daddy,” you gasp, circling your hips faster as Matty dips his tongue back inside you. “Oh, my God,” you whine, pleasure coiled tight in your belly. He curls his tongue, mind-wiping pleasure sending you spiralling. You scream, ecstasy pooling in your belly and flooding out over Matty’s lips and chin as you moan and writhe helplessly on top of him. Molten pleasure hammers in your veins, your body loose on your bones as your hands tangle in the sheets.

“God, felt good,” you praise, climbing off him with a grin. “Love that pretty mouth of yours so much better when you’re not fuckin’ running it.” You pull him in for a kiss, greedily licking the taste of you out of his mouth. Indulgently, lazily, you kiss him for several long, blissful moments, Matty’s hands roaming over your body, electricity arcing under your skin to meet him.

“Thank you, baby,” he murmurs against your lips.  “Took such good care of me,” he smiles, flushing slightly and tucking his head into the crook of your neck. Gently, you scrape your nails over his scalp, Matty practically purring under your touch.

“Can you take a little more, Daddy? For me?” you murmur.

He lets out a shuddering breath. “Yeah. F’you,” he gasps, hips shifting against the bed. Lust and trepidation war on his face as you rifle through the box again.

“Good boy,” you praise, slicking up his cock and sliding the toy you’ve chosen down his cock until the ring sits at his base, the little vibrator snug against his length. “Have you ever used this with another girl, Daddy?” you tease, an echo of Matty’s usual words when you try something new.

“N-no,” he stammers, trembling with anticipation. “Only you, baby,” he promises.

You smirk, reaching down to switch on the vibrator. Matty gasps sharply, whining and whimpering pathetically as he shifts his hips against the stimulation. “Good answer,” you grin, lining up his cock and sinking down slowly. A long, low moan falls from your lips, the sensation unlike anything you’ve ever felt, pure pleasure rolling over you in waves. “God, s’like you’re my personal rabbit,” you gasp, grinding your clit against the vibrator and whining.

Matty’s nails dig into your hips, heat rolling up your spine. “Feels s’fucking good, baby, fuck,” he murmurs, bucking his hips against yours, the sweet jolt of pleasure intense as it rockets through your body. “God, s’so much, I can’t–” he gasps.

“Shh,” you whisper, condescendingly pressing a finger to his lips. “I’m gonna use you to get off, and you’re gonna lay there and take it like a good boy, okay, Daddy?” He gives a low, shuddering moan, nodding up at you with wide eyes and a slackened jaw. Slowly, you lift yourself almost all the way off him and slam your hips down, hot pleasure swallowing you whole. Your head tips back, chest heaving as you clench your cunt around him. Matty’s hips buck involuntarily, the sudden change in angle sending pleasure crashing over you.

Your head spins, the vibrations in your cunt working you into a frenzy, hips rolling against him. Obscene moans and slick, wet noises fill the room, your thighs burning gloriously as you bounce on him, heat welling between your legs and flooding your veins. Your body feels like a livewire, anchored to reality by Matty’s hands on your hips, dizzying ecstasy surging through every nerve at once.

Fire coils under your skin, your cunt soaked and dripping over him, your swollen, sensitive clit pressed against the vibrator as Matty gasps under you. “God, you feel so fucking good, princess,” he whines. “Drivin’ me crazy. Fucking– shit!” he hisses, fucking impossibly deep into you, stars shattering behind your lids and euphoria blooming under your skin.

“Fuck, Daddy, m’gonna–” you gasp, rocking your hips as liquid ecstasy drips down your spine. Matty thrusts into you one final time, the coil of heat between your thighs finally snapping. Your legs shake, your body caving in on itself, collapsing into pure bliss. Your vision whites out, whines and moans falling uncontrollably from your lips. A gush of arousal floods out of you, soaking Matty and pooling under you, sticky and hot against your skin.

“Fuck, shit, wanna cum s’bad, need it, baby, please,” Matty babbles, nails digging sharply into your hips as he shudders and bucks against you, whining incoherently. “Please, angel, it hurts,” he begs, eyes wide and pleading.

You croon softly, cunt fluttering with the aftershocks. “Yeah, go on, Daddy. Been such a good boy. Cum for me, okay?” Your words are all it takes, another achingly familiar reversal as he cums, a sound that’s half a cry of your name and half a keening moan tearing from his throat as he spills inside you.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, thank you,” he gasps, cock pulsing, hips meeting yours in aborted little thrusts.

Slowly, carefully, you climb off him and discard the toy, your body falling limp against the pillows. You pull Matty in for a soft, gentle kiss, pouring every ounce of the feeling in your chest against his mouth. “How… how was that?” you murmur as you pull back. “Are you feeling good?”

Matty gives a glowing smile, your chest warming at the sight. “I feel fucking amazing, princess,” he says, swollen lips meeting yours over and over, like he can’t resist. “Thank you, baby, really. I’ve never, uh… never done anything like that, um, with a girl, before. Felt really fucking good,” he grins dopily, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. 

You giggle breathlessly. “Now you know how I feel all the fucking time.” You curl into him, savouring the warmth of his skin against yours. “Always take such good care of me after, too. S’my turn now,” you promise, kissing gently at the corner of his mouth and sitting up. “Gonna get you some water, ‘kay? Run us a bath, maybe light some candles, make it nice for you, yeah?”

Matty gazes at you adoringly from the bed as you stand. “Such a sweet girl,” he says, more relaxed than you’ve ever seen him, still and sated and happy, the buzz of energy that perpetually emanates from him finally quieted.

“Only for you.”

🫦🫠😨

Stop doing all that thinking!

Subby!Matty x reader

Warnings: smut

Summary: Matty just needs to stop overthinking

Disclaimer: this is literally the first fic I’ve ever written and put out. English is my second language and this is not proofread so be nice. Constructive criticism and comments are welcome.

The hotel room door clicks shut behind the two of you and Matty let’s out a sigh. It’s been a rough day. Week. Month maybe. Things going wrong, disagreements, compromises. Matty working tirelessly on the new show, early mornings, late nights. It’s a lot to do, a lot to think about, a lot of decisions to make. His mind constantly trying to hold every thought, very idea in place to make the show even better, sometimes forgetting to be friendly in the process, constantly apologising when he catches up with his words. He‘s stressed. In a good way maybe? He‘s in his element when he‘s busy but it’s taking a toll. On your relationship for example. It’s been a while since it’s just been the two of you alone in a room together not too tired to just mumble good night and fall asleep.

He takes off his jacket and plops down on the edge of the bed. He lets out a long breath of air and it’s almost like he is deflating.

He can be himself around you. No jokes or deflection needed. You love every side of him, even the ugly ones. He knows he can cry, be soft and weak around you and it won’t scare you away. It’s been a process getting there through insecurities and social constructs, until one day after one of the „but don’t you find it unattractive when I…“-conversations you practically shouted „are you going to let me love you unconditionally or are you going to keep being a little bitch about it?!“. You both had to laugh at that and you knew: No hiding emotions from each other.

You step between his knees and he looks up at you. God, he’s gorgeous. You run your hand through his locks as his chin rests on your belly and his arms are coming up to hug you. You stay there for a little while, feeling him slightly relax under your touch.

„It’s been a day, huh?“

He closes his eyes and sighs again. “Yeah”.

“Tell me, what’s going on in that pretty head of yours?”, you ask. You adore him. You want to be close to him at all times. Seeing him enjoying your presence just as much does things to you.

“A lot. Too much maybe”, he’s tired, you can tell. You don’t press for details.

“Want me to make you feel better, pretty boy?” You say softly and his eyes shoot up at you. You don’t know where that nickname came from but he seems to enjoy it so you don’t overthink it.

“Please” he whispers softly and your mind almost goes completely blank. He’s already begging. Fuck.

You lean down and kiss him. He’s kissing you back hungrily. You know his beautiful, creative mind can be a burden sometimes and right now he’s desperate to not think, just feel. He wants to be told what to do, not make any more decisions, and you’re more than happy to oblige. You break the kiss.

“Take off that shirt for me”

He gets to work on the buttons of his shirt, all while your hands are not leaving his curls, his gorgeous soft curls. Once the shirt is off you lightly push his shoulders and he lies down on the bed. You lean down, unbuckle his belt and unzip his pants. His length he has tucked away in his slacks is already rock hard, a realisation that never fails to make you hornier than you already are. You hook your fingers under the elastic of his boxer shorts and pull the fabric down. Matty helps you by arching his back, lifting his pelvis so you can rid him of the clothes. His cock springs free and your mouth starts watering.

“Fuck, that beautiful cock, you’re so pretty, darling” you tell him and he blushes. His hands lift up to cover his face and you hear him letting out a little giggle.

“What? You are. Just look at you all naked and hard for me”

“Shit, you can’t call me “pretty” and “beautiful” like that!”

“Why not? Just stating facts” you grin.

“It makes me…” he trails off

“Shhh, just enjoy it!” This is fun. It’s never not going to be fun to see him like that. “Scootch up a litte for me, pretty boy!” You instruct and find a place between his legs when he’s settled again. You bend down and lick a stripe up his cock and Matty lets out an obscene moan.

“That’s right, let me hear you darling” you don’t want him to hold back. Hearing him is one of your biggest turn ons and he knows it.

You circle the head of his cock with your tongue, giving extra attention to the little band of skin connecting the head to the shaft.

Matty let’s out a long and soft “Fuuuuuuuuuuuck”

You take the whole head into your mouth, sucking the air out of your mouth to create some under pressure. The moans you hear coming from Matty are all the encouragement you need to keep going. You take as much of his length into your mouth as you comfortably can and start bobbing your head.

You feel great and powerful but you know that at this point Matty is probably in his head again, debating whether or not you’re enjoying this or not. You snake your right hand up to his nipple and pinch as hard as you can. He lets out a surprised noise, his head shooting up to see you obviously enjoying yourself. Another “fuuuuuuck” rips from him as his head hits the blanket again.

“I want to… baby… I…please” he’s trying but it’s too much for him to form coherent sentences. The fact you’ve got him this disheveled is almost enough to make you cum right then and there.

With a sloppy sound you release his cock which slaps back to mattys lower abdomen.

“Use your words, pretty boy! You want to what…?”

“Taste…” he swallows “I want to taste you… please?”

It’s almost too much, the way he sounds, begging almost desperate.

“Fuck! I love it when you ask nicely, darling!” You whisper. You make your way up his body, leaving kisses along the way until your knees are at either side of his head, your cunt that had been left neglected until now right above his face. You slide your knees apart, slowly lowering your core to his mouth. The second he’s in reach, Matty sucks your clit into his mouth and it’s divine.

“Fuck! Yes, baby! So good” you try and sound controlled but you’re anything but.

Matty eats your pussy like a starved man. He knows what you like and he’s putting that knowledge to good use.

“Yes, baby, fuuuck. You’re doing so good! So good baby, gonna make me cum”

Matty is committed now, there’s no stopping until you come on his tongue and you both know it. He sucks and licks and fucks you with his tongue. He drags his fingernails lightly across your ass cheeks and then hold on to your thighs as if to lock you into place above him.

“Fuck, baby. Yes! Keep going! So good for me!” you don’t really know what you’re saying and you don’t really care as you come on mattys face with a scream. You ride out the aftershocks of your orgasm on his face. Your thighs shake but you make your way down Matty’s body, littering his face and body with little praises of “so good for me” and “your doing so well” and “my pretty boy”. Once you’re face to face again you can’t help but kiss him passionately. Some primal part of your brain wants to taste yourself on his tongue and you don’t have it in yourself to stop. You moan into his mouth as you taste your juices on him. So. Fucking. Good.

You lower your pelvis so your labia comes to sit on the still rock hard cock against his lower abdomen. As you rock your hips a bit, you hear and feel Matty groan beneath you.

“Not much longer now, darling. You’re going to be inside me and I’m going to make you cum. It’s alright” you coo but Matty is getting desperate. You draw it out a bit longer just to rile him up a bit more. “Shh baby it’s alright, I’m gonna make you feel good” you’re having too much fun here. Oh well.

You lift your hips, take his rock hard, already leaking cock into your hand, place the tip at your entrance and lower your hips again. Slowly. So deliciously slow that you can register every ridge and every vein entering you. When just the tip is inside, you stop. Matty lets out a desperate whine.

“please! Please darling. Need to feel you, please. Oh shit”

You lower your hips a bit more. You feel the delicious stretch like you always do. He’s big. Perfectly so.

“Yes! Yes!! Please more!”

You take him all the way inside. Your cunt pulsing at the familiar stretch.

“Fuck! Yes!” He moans.

You slowly start raising and lowering your hips, drawing a bunch of desperate moans from Matty.

“You’re doing so well, pretty boy. My beautiful darling all worked up and horny for me. Stretching me soooo goood”

As you feel he might be close, you raise your hips, only letting the tip stay in your pussy, completely stilling your motions. At first Matty doesn’t know what’s going on. But then he realises you just want to rile him up a bit more.

“Wha…? No! Fuck! Please! Please fuck me!” He chokes out desperately and you’re more than happy to oblige.

You slam your hips down to his, taking him inside you fully. Your pace is quicker now. You fuck the desperate man beneath you as fast and hard as you can. The moans he let out are becoming more and more desperate, as are yours. Your left hand is coming up to Matty’s throat. He nods and you squeeze. His eyes glaze over and he comes with such a desperate whine and an outstretched “Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck”. The sound is enough to make you orgasm as well. With his name on your lips and his cock still deep inside you, you collapse on Matty’s chest as your body goes through the aftershocks.

You hold each other tight, grounding each other.

“Fuck. I fucking love you” he says still holding you tight.

“I love you too, pretty boy” you giggle. You want to stay like this forever. Just the two of you, impossibly close.

Chapter 10

Word count 2043

I know I said yesterday I’d only post a chapter a day but there’s no point leaving it when I’ve written a lot I’ll just post what I have and then update it when there’s an update ready

I hope everyone likes it so far there’s not really much trigger warnings for this one

Matty's POV

3 o'clock rolls around well quicker than I thought it would, I catch myself packing up and then Miss Conner's walks in holding a million folders and papers

"Would you like some help there miss ?"

"I've got it Matty , but thank you." She ends up placing the pile on the desk in-front of her and sits herself down at her computer "So Matty, have you had any other though about what might be causing you too feel like you need to escape!?".

Placing my rucksack back onto the floor I slouch back into the chair and start biting the skin around my nails "there's a lot really" this doesn't come out as confident as I felt it would , it was more of a mumble then anything else.

"Sorry?"

"I just said there's alot of things really that are bugging me", I pull my blazer around me tighter so I feel warmer "it's just a lot of anxiety about stuff I think"

"About anything in particular?"

"Just everything at this point, school , home , what I'm going do after school like I know what I want to do but I don't know if it's ever gunna happen", I'm talking with my hands being a little over dramatic my words as this is the only way I can concentrate right now.

"Is there anything that's upsetting you the most or giving you the most anxiety" , She's typing on her computer probably taking notes on this conversation for the school counsellor

"I don't really know what's bothering me most , it's just everything is changing, anytime anything gets to loud or something I just get overwhelmed and my ead start spinning it's like a constant ead ache", my heads in my hands again, I'm stressing even thinking about it, it hate all of this.

"So is it always just noise or is there other things that make you feel that way?"

"I don't know maybe crowds and when things get to much and I try to do a lot at once that kinda makes me ill."I'm resting my elbows on my knee at this point basically talking to the ground my leg is bouncing and I'm racking my hands together

"Does this usually happen when you get on edge or anxious", she's gesturing to what I'm doing

"Maybe , but I feel like it's something I've always done". Trying to make a conscious effort to not do it it's makes it arguably worse.

"Is there anything else you'd like to talk about right now?, is there anything you think would help with it?"

"My fiends are helping and my mum knows so she understands and she's trying her best to voice my opinions in a way I never knew I needed"

"Is that all you need" looking around I'm trying to think of anything else I might need but there's not really anything I can think of right now I just want everything to feel right.

"I don't think so, can I go now?, I've got stuff to do"

Smiling at me she checks the time and the end of school is approaching "yes , that will do for now, but I'll be having another catch up soon."

At that I thank her , pick up my rucksack and leave making my way down to the front gate to wait for Ross and Jamie. Sticking my headphones in , I scuff up the walls until the bell goes to let everyone out, George hasn't messaged back since out last conversation , I decide I'm gunna do something wild I open my phone and message him again.

"Your fit too" , I send the message with a picture of myself and I'm smiling my cheeks are red from the blush that overcame me when I wrote the reply. Risky again I'm not gay but he's different

The bell goes only a couple seconds after and just stuff my hands in my pocket along with my phone and just wait for them to come down. Shivering because although its May it's still freezing and I didn't bring a jacket. Once the majority of the school is out Ross and Jamie come sauntering down the path.

"Guys come on we ain't got all day", jumping around bouncing from each foot to keep my body heat up . When the boys reach me I notice Jamie isn't even wearing his jacket so I quickly steal it from him as he's always warm so I know it'll keep me warm.

"Oy Healy , what you doing?" . He starts running after me but I'm as quick as a fuckin race horse so I'm off in a flash

"Just cold out innit". I pull his jacket around me and get cosy, I can't remember the last time I felt someone else's body heat who wasn't my family, other than a quick pat on the back or arm round my shoulder. It's nice , in saying that I can't remember the last time I was able to get body heat I don't let people in anymore really. "It's warm can I have it till I get home, I'll bring it back tomorrow?"

"Don't you ave your own jacket Matty". He doesn't come back for it , he wasn't really bothered anyway "You can ave it for now, just remember to give it back"

"Thank you"

"What you doing tonight Matty ?", he's probably inkling to playing online with me once he's finished work which I'd be down for.

"Nothing tonight , I'll be calling George later , but if you wanna go online later I'm down". The town is quiet for this time of day most of the kids arent wandering around like usual , the sky was pretty ,blue and grey but also looked like it might rain later. I like rain it's peaceful

"Yo Matty!!!" , I'm startled out of my trance by Rosses voice

"Sorry what ?". There both just stood looking at me. Like I'd missed something

"I said are you and George going steady" he winked at me like the pest that he is

"What are you talking about"

"I'm just kidding man"

"No serious though, I know you guys tell me everything so I know the answer anyway but have you guys ever met a guy and they've made you think you might not just like girls."I slow my walking down a bit so they could catch up with me because I really need to talk about this right now and I'd rather it not be shouted to the entire street

"What do you mean?". Just two and a half straight men walking about Manchester talking about men is not how I saw my Tuesday going

"I don't really know what I'm talking about, just asking if you've ever questioned if you were straight really". I don't really look at them while we walk just in case there looking at me like I'm a mad man

"Not me no , but I know McDonald here has a big man crush on a guy in 6th form". He shoves Ross into a fence next to us playfully then Ross comes running after him. I'm just trying to stay out the way but still laughing

"DONT TALK SHIT SQUIRE", Ross has somehow managed to get Jamie into a headlock and got him trapped

"Bro I ain't talking shit , I've seen the way you look at him." After struggling out of his hold Jamie comes back to me and wraps his arm around my shoulder "What we're you thinking about anyway Healy , what's got ya brain muddled or who should I say ?"

"Just asking really that's all" , I can't be telling them anything yet they'll just be taking everything way out of context and I'm not even sure myself.

"Have you got a thing for a lad like Matty?", Ross has joined us again after sorting himself out "we wouldn't judge you, you know , really we kinda thought you might be at least Bi?"

"I'm just voicing things man honestly , like I've never been with a guy , may have had a few turn my head but I didn't know if it was just a hormone thing or general curiosity or what"

"Would it really be any different though at the end of the day right , if your in a dark room and someone goes down on you would you really know the difference anyway!?" . Ever the philosopher is our Jamie

"I wouldn't mind that's all I'm saying". I try shrugging it off like it's no big deal but really if it wasn't a big deal it would be much easier to just say it "I'm just saying would it really matter , like if I might have a small thing for someone who wasn't a girl , like it's not all men it's just this one guy , there just different, what would that mean ?"

"We'll just give it a go lad , if you never shot you never know right", Using our own lyrics against me is just the right way to go , Ross has always got a way of helping me understand things "and it wouldn't matter to us"

"Thanks guys, I knew you'd help" we have now arrived at Jamie's house we watch him walk in so he's not mugged right at his front door , and we make our way to Ross' which isn't far from mine. I love Jamie but Ross is a lot better in these situations

"Honestly Matty , you know if you like a guy it's not a big deal I'd say go for it", Ross is my best mate we've been friends for years and he always knows what to say he's rummaging around in his pocket probably for gum before he goes home so I pass him mine

"So the guy in 6th form what's he like then ?" , I don't feel like I've spoken to him much recently so I never really knew about the guy "what's his name?"

"It's not really a thing we're friends he's in my Biochem class , but his names John and Jamie's not wrong I do find him really interesting , but it's just a little different to what I'm used too"

"I understand that", this makes me laugh quite a bit this is not how I saw things going. This is just not how things were with us

"So your guy , is it George?, I won't tell Jay it can just be our thing for now"

"I don't know anything about all of it right now , like hell he's attractive but I don't know all that much about him ?", Talking about him makes me blush even at the thought of him and I'm smiling

Ross must have noticed it "He must be attractive if he's making the mighty Matty blush , your like a little diva when it comes to finding relationships"

"Right the thing about that is , I fuck up like a lot so I tend to keep relationships online or to that extent and I just never really see them , I've found plenty of people attractive"

"I mean that's fair, why do you feel the need to keep people pushed away , I don't mean us guys and your family but like say when you meet people your just always sure your gunna mess up so you don't even let them be close". He stops for a second really asking the question, really thinking about what to say

"I don't know Ross , like you said I always just think I'll mess up so if I keep them at bay there not gunna be upset when I inevitably do mess up they won't care". Really thinking about it I've never very often been with people from around here , online relationships are just easier to deal with and when I mess up they don't feel that upset as it would if I messed up right in front of them.

"You know your far cooler and understanding than you let yourself believe just give yourself a try Matty honestly your an amazing guy trust me". Hugging me close before he goes into his , leaving me with his words of wisdom for the day "see ya later Matty"

"See ya Rosso" . I spend the rest of the journey home it's only about five minutes just thinking about what he said.

let me come home

content warnings: f! reader, angst, fluff, smut, sex toys, unprotected p in v sex, oral sex m receiving, oral sex f receiving, drug mentions (weed and ecstasy)

word count: 3.7k

Your sneakers squeak on the pristine tile floor of the hotel lobby as you hurry to the elevator. With your hoodie over your head, you look down at your phone.

“1221” says the most recent text. You whip your head up long enough to smile at the elevator attendant and tell him where you’re headed. Inside the small box, you feel flustered; claustrophobic with excitement and anxiety and anticipation. When you reach the twelfth floor, you dart out quicker than is polite and look behind you as you scan the room numbers in front of you. 17, 19, 21. You look to both sides again before knocking twice. Finally, the door swings open and you’re face to face with a jogger-clad Matty. He looks soft around the edges, worn-out. It’s probably the jet lag. He beams at the sight of you and you push past him into the room.

“Did you get the pigs in a blanket?” you ask him once you’ve left your shoes at the door. His face falls and his brows furrow.

“What kind of greeting is that?” he returns. You look at him blankly in a stalemate.

“They said it will be 45 minutes,” he relents. Your face lights up and you greet him with a kiss on the cheek. And the neck. Matty wraps his arms around you and leans down to kiss the top of your head. The sweet floral scent of your hair fills his lungs, intoxicating him more than any joint or drink could.

“Not to get you all riled up, but I sprung for some orange juice as well,” he says into your hair. You chuckle good-naturedly and lean up to meet his lips in a homecoming kiss. Your skin begins to sing as he kisses you back insistently, parting your lips with his tongue. You whimper softly at the euphoric feeling, already beginning to spread to your head and limbs.

“Think we can go for a round before they come up with it?” you ask conspiratorially.

“Don’t tempt me with a good time,” he replies. You’re smiling as he picks you up by your bum and carries you to the king sized bed, plopping you down unceremoniously in the middle. You move towards the top of it and shrug your hoodie off, revealing a red lace bra. Matty moves to cover you with his body as you get comfortable, your head against the plush, cold pillows.

One of his hands moves to trace the outline of your bra, flesh strains against the delicate fabric, practically begging to be released. He licks his bottom lip absentmindedly and his hand fully envelops your breast.

“Fuck, all this for me?” he asks. You roll your eyes.

“Obviously,” you smile back at him.

“You spoil me sweetheart. So fucking gorgeous,” his words are like syrup, sticky and sweet. They coat your tongue with sugar and go to straight your head. They linger in your mind when he's gone. You wish you could bottle them or press them into vinyl. Play them for your family and friends. Look, this is real. I’m his. A pang of hurt hits you right behind the eyes.

Matty is pressing soft, chase kisses to the exposed flesh on your chest. He looks so content– at home. Are you each others' homes?

“You okay baby?” he looks up at you, all pink lips and flushed skin and blown-out pupils, “you’re not taking the piss out of me for being sentimental.” His words make you chuckle, and snap from your melancholia. Your hands find his soft brown hair in answer to his question.

“I’m perfect. Fuck, keep going please,” his hands are around your back in no time, fumbling with the clasp of your bra. You arch your back to grant him more access and he groans at the feeling of you pressed into him. The euphoria clouds his mind and his fingers move uselessly behind you. You move your hand to cover them.

“Here, I got it,” you chuckle.

“No. Fuck, please let me. You went to all this effort, I wanna unwrap you myself,” he finally undoes the clasp and you lift your arms as he peels the garment off of you, brushing his lips down your arm as he does. Your breasts, once held up perfectly by the lingerie, flatten on your chest, you look down at them. Matty catches you looking.

“Don’t worry, they’re perfect,” he kisses the valley between your tits, right next to your heart. “Perfect, perfect,” the movements of his mouth massage the soft flesh of your right breast as he moves further in. “Perfect,” he says and captures your right nipple in his mouth, immediately swirling his tongue around it, wetting you completely. His teeth close softly around the bud and just when you think you’ve got him figured out, he replaces them with his lips, sucking devotedly at you. Your skin is on fire and he’s the only one who can extinguish it. You know he’ll bring you right to the edge of burning down before he does.

You arch up into the feeling of his warm mouth and have a moment of clarity long enough to realize he’s still in his t-shirt. Your hands move to the hem and push it up his rigid stomach.

“Off, off, off,” you say deliriously. It’s meant to be sexy, but it comes out whiney, needy. Why are you always so needy?

Your thoughts are cut off by the sight of his fair skin littered with tattoos, passing thoughts he’s memorialized on his body. Your lusty eyes devour him and all of the sudden you need more control.

“Switch with me,” you demand. He obliges without a word and you take your leggings off as he shuffles around on his back. You move back over him, now clad only in a red thong that barely functions as underwear. Matty notices it at the same time you do: you’ve left a wet mark on his gray sweatpants where you straddled him. He reaches down to touch the damp fabric between your thighs, warm and inviting. He plays with the lace, pulling it up so it rubs deliciously between your folds and roughly on your clit. Your head falls back and you begin to grind against his hand as he moves the fabric back and forth, finally gathering the friction you came here for. His fingers wander down to your hole and push tentatively into you. He’s only halfway in when he pulls them out. Your eyes snap up to him annoyed. He offers you a conciliatory glance.

“Can I eat you out?”

You’re appeased. You dismount him to shuck your last stitch of clothing off. As you crawl back up his body, his eyes catch yours.

“You thought I was gonna be mean? What on earth would make you think that?” Your mind’s eye flashes back to a reunion a month ago, your hands tied beautifully above your head as Matty edged you cruelly with a vibrator. Come and get it, greedy girl. The obscenities echo in your head. You blush at the thought and at his taunts.

“Shut up,” you say timidly, and cover his face with your wet cunt. He’s got his arms around your thighs and his tongue slicing up between your folds, treating you to a variety of sensations as he pays attention to each sensitive part of you. Your hands come up to brace yourself against the headboard as he begins to work on your clit, licking in sweet sideways strokes before sucking it into his mouth. As the pressure in your body increases, you begin to ride his face, furiously chasing your release.

“Mmmmph fuck, good girl,” the vibrations from his moans go straight into your pussy and increase your pleasure tenfold.

“Please, please stay like that. I’m gonna cum,” you warn. He releases a lengthy moan into you as you continue to chase your peak. He knows he’s the only person to have ever made you cum, and he still gets off on it every time. He moves his mouth away from you long enough for you to hear what he’s saying.

“Cum for me, please. Need you all over my face baby,” and with that he’s back in you everywhere. Hands coming to cover your backside and reach into your wetness, his tongue licking up into your hole, filling you. His nose bumps into your clit at intervals that drive you crazy. But what tips you over the edge is when he moves his hand to the bottom of your entrance, pushing gently against your back wall. You feel so full and euphoric as your orgasm washes over you, starting at the space between your legs and spreading to your chest, your fingers, your nose. You ride him through it and stop when you can’t take it anymore, breathing heavily. His fingers are still pressed inside you. He’s obsessed with knowing it’s real, feeling your heartbeat against his fingers and face. You know you can never fake it with him, and what’s more you don’t have to.

You move off of him and lay on your back. He ducks to the side to clean himself a bit and then leans over to kiss you. You put your hand on his head and move him away gently.

“My face is numb. Can’t feel you,” you say bashfully.

“Yeah?” he’s proud and smiling, eyes squinted so tight you can’t make out his irises.

“Sorry,” you say.

“Please, that’s the best reason I’ve ever heard not to kiss someone,” he grins and pulls you into his chest to come down. Your hands come up to the space below his ribs, trace his top abdominals, get lost in the sweet smattering of chest hair that covers his tattoos.

A knock at your door snaps you from your reverie. You hurry under the duvet as Matty gets up, stretching his muscular arms gratuitously before heading to the door.

The hotel worker has a table he’s wheeling around and he begins to push it into the room. Matty is quick to stop the table and wink at the guy.

“I’ll take it from here, mate thanks,” he says and hands him a $20 note. With the door finally closed, Matty rolls your midnight snack over to your side of the bed. He pours you orange juice from the carafe before crossing the room to faff about with his luggage. You watch him curiously as you sip on your orange juice, slowly feeling the weight return to your body as you replenish your blood sugar. He produces a beautifully wrapped box from his duffel.

“What’s this?” you ask. It’s not uncommon for Matty to give you gifts, but he’s always finding some way to surprise you. He’s sweet, impossibly sweet. Though you suppose it must be easy to be nice when you’re rich. You push the thought away. Nothing exists outside of these four walls. Nothing exists except us.

He gets into bed and slots himself behind you. He kisses your shoulder as he places the parcel on the covers.

“Open it,” he insists. You rip the wrapping paper eagerly and see the box of a beautiful — that’s really the only word you could use to describe it — vibrator. It’s the fanciest you’ve ever seen: pink and white and gold. You want to laugh, of course he’d make an investment when it comes to this.

“You’re crazy, this is a fancy fucking vibrator,” you chuckle and lean your head against him. He reaches over to the table and uncovers the pigs in a blanket. He feeds one to you tenderly before enveloping you in his arms.

“You know our sex is too good for second rate toys,” he states, smiling into your neck. You finish chewing and turn around in his lap before hugging him around his neck.

“All this and room service?” you tease, opening the box excitedly.

“What can I say, I’m a generous guy,” he smiles slyly, taking the box from your struggling hands, “Now hurry up and eat, I wanna use it on you.” Your heart jumps into your throat.

“I don’t need to eat, I’m ready now,” you tell him, defiant. He loves it, loves how eager you are, how badly you want him, how you treat him like he’s the only person you’ve ever had. He traces his pointer finger over your cupid's bow.

“I’m ready too, darlin’ but I need you to eat something. After that I’ll keep you up all night long. I promise,” he coos. He grabs two more bites of food and gives one to you, cheersing you before eating his whole.

—

Matty gently removes the vibrator from your swollen, red clit and gets up off the bed as he quickly rids himself of his boxers. He leans back over your face and kisses you, admiring your blissed out expression.

“Do I need to get a condom?” he knows that, with you guys, it’s not always safe to go without. He wouldn’t pressure you, but he knows you’d rather feel him wholly, if you can. Obviously, he feels the same way. You blush a little.

“I’m actually good this time. I’ve not been with anyone else,” you don’t know why you’re shy about it. Surely, he wouldn’t find that lame, would he? No, he would like it, you think. He would like that he’s the only person to have been with you recently. Maybe you’re kidding yourself. He touches your face and snaps you out of it.

“I haven’t either,” he says calmly, “don’t trust anyone like I trust you.” He climbs back over top of you and kisses you deeply, “turn over for me, yeah?”

You oblige, settling comfortably on your stomach. He moves a pillow under your hips and hikes your right leg up at an angle on the bed. You hear buzzing again behind you as Matty positions the vibrator on your clit.

“You feel good?” he asks.

“Yes,” you’re a little out of breath, dumb with anticipation, “Need you though. Need it harder.”

You feel him running up and down through your folds, almost dipping into you. You moan obnoxiously, too proud to tell him again how much you need him. It’s enough for him, he pushes into you unhurriedly, savoring the moment, relishing in every inch he stretches you. When he bottoms out, he moves his hands up beside your shoulders and whispers in your ear.

“Fuck you’re so tight. Can I move?” You nod frantically into the pillow and he begins to snap his hips into yours. You feel your heartbeat everywhere as your pleasure begins to build. Matty covers your hands in his and stretches them out in front of you, keeping you in place as he fucks you precisely. Each time he bottoms out, he presses your clit perfectly against the vibrator.

“Good girl. You’re doing so well for me, baby,” he pants in your ear. He’s dominant, but it’s sweet and the perfect mixture of submission and pride swirls around your foggy brain as you begin to float. You try to focus on one feeling at a time, his cock sliding in and out of you, his hands on yours’, his warm breath on your ear, the vibrations on the tortured nub between your legs. It’s too much all together. You let yourself go, brain wiping completely as you buck senselessly against the pillow, trying to meet his hips. You cum without realizing that the feeling was creeping up on you, attacked with pleasure as you collapse on the bed in total bliss. Matty’s not far behind, watching you unravel beneath him makes his ego swell and he fucks into you even harder than before.

“I need a second,” you say. It catches Matty off-guard and he stills above you, pulling out slowly. He turns you on your back so he can see your eyes.

“You okay?” he searches your face for any discomfort.

“I’m fucking great. Just sensitive. Were you close?” you ask, suddenly concerned you’ve ruined it for him.

“Yeah, I was,” he seems unbothered. He smiles down at you. You take his hard cock in your hand and begin to pump him over your stomach. “Fuuuuuuuck,” his head rolls back, “can I come in your mouth?”

You kneel in response and push him down onto his back and take him in your mouth, bobbing up and down, wetting him completely and keeping the pressure on him. He reaches out to grab your hand as he begins to spurt into your mouth. The salty tang of him tastes like victory. You smile at him; a content, fucked out grin and then swallow. He wipes a bit left over by the side of your mouth.

“C’mere,” he whines and pulls you into him again. “Goddamn you’re so good to me.”

“Aw don’t go soft on me now, Healy,” you taunt. He groans.

“Don’t be cute. I just came, I don’t have my wits well enough about me to go toe-to-toe with you,” he responds.

“Now if only you’d admit the same about the rest of the time,” you muse.

“Cheeky,” he bops your nose. You let silence fill the room for a moment.

“How long are you here for?” you question, looking up at him. A word from him could change the course of your life, it seems. No, you’re not in love with him. You wouldn’t let yourself do that. But god it feels right with him. It makes sense that you’d want to prolong your time with him for as long as possible. You’re not you when you’re with him. Well yes, you’re you, but a freer, less encumbered you. Like you’re on vacation, or on ecstasy…or something. He makes all the hurt go away. All of the hurt is outside, and inside is a protective fort of your own making. Your shelter.

“Five days. ‘Til Sunday,” he says, “can’t stand the heat longer than that.” You know Matty hates Los Angeles. You don’t blame him, really. It doesn’t seem anything like home to him.

But it still makes you sad. That he might spend bits of his free time in other places just because he likes the atmosphere better. That he would choose to be away from you even though you feel more like home to him than any city could.

“Okay,” you say. It didn’t really need an answer. You can’t see him every day anyways. You have a job and housemates that will wonder where you are, and a mother who’s always begging you to come by for dinner. You don’t tell them about him: your booty call, the rockstar. That would go over well. Anyways, you two are the only ones who get you. Everything goes bad once it leaves the safe-haven you’ve carefully built for yourselves. Rumors and questions and judgements. You’d rather keep it all here. Where it can be perfect.

“Will you tell me about Spain?” you query as you nestle yourself back into him, pushing away the future and snuggling back into the present.

“It was fucking unreal, darlin’. You would have loved it. All these breathtaking old churches and mosques. People dancing, playing guitar, and cheering in the streets. And the food, god. I know you too well to take you there, you would eat yourself silly and then tell me you’re too full to make love to me,” he chuckles.

“That seems like an appropriate behavior on vacation,” you push back.

“It is, but I want you all to myself,” he flips the two of you onto your sides and buries his head in your chest as he squeezes you impossibly closer. “Does that make me selfish?”

His voice sounds so small when it’s coming from under the covers.

“Maybe,” you say. He looks up at you like he might be hurt, “but I’m selfish when it comes to you, too.” You consider your next words, scared to be too candid. No, you think, If anyone would want me to be honest, it’s Matty.

“I get a little rush when you tell me that you haven’t been with anyone since you last saw me,” you say tentatively.

“Me too, sweetheart. It’s different with you.” You breathe a sigh of relief. You sit up and grab the glasses off the side table and go to the restroom. You relieve yourself quickly and fill the water cups, bringing them back to bed.

“Can I ask you a question?” you say. Matty raises his eyebrows in answer as he takes a sip of water. “What does it really feel like for guys when you have sex with girls? You guys always act like it feels so good when you first put it in. Is it really like that every time?”

Matty smiles softly at your earnestness. “I thought you were gonna ask me something serious,” he teases.

“I am being serious,” you insist.

He considers you, your expression, your posture. Deciding what you want from him. The truth, he thinks. All she ever wants is the truth. He takes you in his arms.

“You know when you get back from a holiday and you get to sleep in your bed on your pillow again for the first time in weeks?” you nod along. “It’s like that, but a thousand, no— a million times better. Especially if it’s with someone you know. It’s a relief. It’s safe. It feels like coming home.” You look at him, searching for any little bit of artifice. You find none, you should know by now that you won’t find any with him. Why can’t you trust that?

“You feel like coming home, darlin’.”

You believe him. You agree. So why does it still hurt? You put your head on his chest and close your eyes.

“So do you. Thanks for taking me home.”

“Anytime.”

You know he doesn’t quite mean it—any time he’s in town, yes. Anytime he’s not with a groupie in Japan. Anytime he’s not dealing with some work obligation or visiting his family in England. But as sleep begins to crowd your brain, you let yourself take his words at face value. Anytime. Anytime. He’ll come home anytime.

a/n: please tell me your thoughts etc. I hope this brightens your day! see you all at satvb this fall <3

vibing with a friend that likes self-titled hopefully i can evolve him ❤️

Chicken Shop Date | Part 7 |

By @imagine-that-100​​ and @alovesreading​​

Description: Matty Healy x Reader (Female) | You and your best friend Amelia came up with a very simple idea of taking celebrities on awkward chicken shop dates, and somehow, it’s managed to become both of your jobs. In the past, you’ve found sitting across from some of the biggest stars on the planet and eating chicken nuggets easy. But then Amelia manages to score you a date with the man who you’ve been obsessed with since you were nineteen; Matty Healy.

Word Count: 36.9k

A/N: Bestiesssss, we’re back with a monster of a chapter. Hope you’re ready for smut, angst, and fluff. This brings it allllllllll! Honestly can’t wait to see what you all think of this one, please give us all of your reactions as we love to see it and it keeps us motivated to write. We have a little cameo in this chapter, she was already going to be in it before anything happened irl so yeah, funny how things turn out hahaha. Thank you for being patient and sticking with us, we really hope you enjoy!  x

| Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 |

| N’s Masterlist | A’s Masterlist |

~*~*~*~ January 1st 2023 ~*~*~*~

Waking up in his arms feels like something out of a dream.

You feel warm inside and out, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips feeling his slow breaths hitting the back of your neck. You faintly remember coming back to his and the concrete walls surrounding you confirm that your hazy memory isn’t betraying you.

The light peeking through the windows burns harshly even through your closed eyes but it isn’t enough to bother you when you’re in such bliss to be waking up next to Matty. Or rather, in front of him, since he’s got his chest pressed against your back with an arm wrapped around your waist which has you flush against him.

A hum of content falls from your lips as you relish and shuffle impossibly closer to him, your movement making him stir in his sleep and open his eyes a few seconds later.

Keep reading

I posted the wrong comment with the wrong video that’s embarrassing but hey ho we move 😂😂😂

Someone wanna help me with my next chapter of my fic cuz man I be struggling !!!!????

Chapter 9

Word count :4221

Warnings : school 😂🙄 , slight panic attacks , mention of illness

Matty's POV

German is alright actually the class is full and sitting with everyone is still making me feel tetchy and on edge but at least Jamie is here with me so I'm a little calmer. He's not really talking to me as he's paying attention for being the complete opposite of nerd and teachers pet in this class he excels and actually listens so I let him do his thing. I feel a like I might be okay if I just try to ignore the fact that the classroom is packed. I think that's what's been setting me off recently the fact that people can actually see me losing my mind and it was getting harder to control. I hate that people can see what's actually going on. The sincerity of situations sometimes scares me. Once upon a time I used to be so out there that people watching me doing anything never used to be an issue but the last six months things have changed and I don't really understand why. The room starts to get a little louder as people start to get on with the task. This causes my brain to start spinning again but I'm going to deal with it looking at the questions my eyes lose focus a little I shake my head and rubs my eyes and try to get back to it but my head ends up in my heads about 3 questions in Jamie spots this and gives me a little nudge on the shoulder "dude are you good?."

I look at him and squint to see him right the lights are brighter than I originally felt they were but I shrug him off "Yeh , yeh I'm alright it's just a little loud in here"

"Are you sure that's all, do you need to go back to Miss Conner's?"

I scoff , I wasn't trying to convey that I didn't appreciate the concern but I hate that people are seeing me as fragile "Nah Jay it's okay it's just loud don't worry about it". I stick my hand up and ask Mr Reeves if I can put my headphones in which he reluctantly agrees to with this a little relief washes over me and I put them in and pick and calming playlist. Bach not my usual listening material but I'm sure It'll keep me calm, I start making my way back through the questions answering them with ease. I get to the last question it's the essay portion of the exercise, I've got to write about my family in fluent German again that's easy, My dads been teaching me German since I was 4. I've recently been teaching Lou.

In the moment a message comes through from my mum "How are you doing today love?" , I contemplated not answering until lunch but she'll just worry

"I'm doing alright Ma , I'm in class right now actually , I didn't go into Maths I just did it in Miss Conner's office that was pretty good actually but I'm in class doing okay x"

I decide to message George again since my phone is out and I'm slightly bored now. I snap a picture not to dissimilar from before my hands are running through my hair and I'm smiling "Class is going okay, I nearly had a minute but I managed to take hold of it x". He's slowly becoming a lifeline at this point so long as he knows I'm okay and I'm doing okay for him then I'm happy.

I place my phone back on the table and finish my essay, I'm getting a little restless it's just boredom though so I ask Mr Reeves if I can quickly go to the bathroom. He lets me go under the pretence that I be sure to show him my progress on my work when I get back which is fine because it's basically done. I wander around the school a few times just making notes of how quiet the hallway is right now since everyone is in class. This is peaceful and I really enjoy the quiet. I think about going for a smoke as I haven't really had much smokes today. I took my way outside and quickly light up letting the nicotine flew through my body and I relax even more as bird fly around me and the only sound I hear is the occasional car driving in and out of the car park. I quickly make it through my cig and make my way back to class , sliding back into my seat but Mr Reeves spots me "Matthew you've been gone for fifteen minutes, where have you been ?".

"I just needed a minute to compose myself sorry Sir, I should have said" . I sit back down at my desk and finish up what I was writing. I'm sure all my teacher have been made aware of my hiccup yesterday "Right once you've finished that I'd like to see it and I would like to have a chat outside if you may". I finish up not long after and make my way over to his desk "i finished it , it's not my best but it's done" . This is always the awkward stage we're they look over you work and you just stand there like a spare part before you get there verdict. "Very well , can I see you outside please , don't worry your in no trouble". I sigh a sigh of relief and follow him outside . Once we're outside of the room I rest against the wall and scuff my shoes against the ground as he talks.

"Okay, I understand your having a bit of a rough time right now but rather than making up excuses to leave next time all you have to do is tell me that you need some time alone and I'll let you out to have a silent moment"

I look at him now still scuffing shoes against the carpet it's a terrible noise that goes right through me but it's just a habit at this point "again I'm sorry sir, I just didn't know how or what to say, I'll be sure to let you know next-time"

"Righty-o , next all I need to ask , for the actual exam do you think you might need to be in a different room to do it or would you like to be in with everyone else , I don't know if I'm the first to be asking but I know all your other teachers have been emailed and asked to ask you."

"I haven't really thought about it really , I should be okay with it. I'll try to sort my self out before the exams I promise but If I change my mind I'll be sure to let you know ahead of time." I hate that everyone is treating me like I could break at any minute but I know I also need to be honest it'll help in the long run I guess.

"Okay that's grand thank you very much back in you go you've got ten minutes till we're done if you don't want to sit in then it's okay to just go to the canteen but it's your choice"

"I think I'll be fine sir , it's ten minutes honestly it's all good" . We go back inside and when I get back to my chair Jamie is obviously itching to ask what that was about

"Sir was just asking if I needed any extra help with the exams and whatnot" . I see I have a message from my Mum and George but try to continue with my conversation with Jamie but I know I just want to check them.

"Hey that's cool , what did you say?"

"I said not for right now but if it changes I'll let someone know". I pick up my phone seconds after saying this. I open George's message first. It's a snap of him outside with his friends again or who I'd assume to be his friends here all huddled in a small corner and one boy has his arm around a girl and kissing the side of her head and there's another blonde boy there he's quite tall but not as tall as George and his eyes are bright blue none of them are wearing what I'd say was a uniform more just like school colours. It's captioned "I'm so proud you managed the class , you may have had a small hiccup but you worked it out and that's great , the guys say hi by the way"

That's makes me smile I guess he's spoken about me to them which leaves a small twinkle inside me and my checks redden at the fact that he's says he's proud of me. I snap a picture with my fingers crossed again. "I bet you were just hoping for me ay; my lucky charm , tell em I said hi back."

Like clock work literally the bell chimes bang on one o'clock and everyone starts piling out of the room and make a mad rush to the door. I wait till everyone is out then make my way out with Jamie's hand resting on the small of my back , it's a protective "older brother" thing. He's a few months older than me it's been a thing he's done since year 7 so I'm used to it at this point it makes me feel safer I suppose. The minute I walk into the canteen the noise is the first thing that overwhelms me stopping me in my tracks. Jamie's pauses with me "you okay mate?"

I glare at him for a second but then decide there's no point in trying to even lie right now "yeh, um , actually, I'll just go wait outside if you wanna go find Ross and get what you guys want I'll meet you out back" he rubs my back before he wanders off looking back at me "okay bro we won't be to long okay?" Then makes his way into the crowd of kids waiting for there lunch. I walk in the other direction trying to get to the back doors as quick as humanly possible. I hate noise I don't know where that has come from but recently any type of loud noise , grating sounds or repetitiveness has just really made me skittish and I don't really understand why but I have every feeling I'll figure it out. Once I'm outside and hidden away at the bottom of the field I pull my phone out along with a zoot and pull up George's name and having a little thought to myself and quickly change his name in my phone to "My lucky charm" cheesy and a little weird maybe but it makes me smile and I open up his latest message.

"I'll be anything you need me to be just so long as you feel good, I hope your eating lunch or at least something, but I am super proud you managed a class I know you said earlier you might struggle going to your last class but do you think it might be worth trying?"

This man really knows how to get me in my feels I take a picture of my zoot and my shoes yanno like all the stoners do on there private stories and reply after really thinking "I'll eat my other cereal bar, I might ask Jamie or Ross to get me something from the canteen before we go back to class , my last class is physics tho so I may only be there five minutes but I'll try just for you". That just for you might push some boundaries or make him feel a little weird but it's not my intention

I get a reply instantly he's still in his small corner I feel like it's pretty much like us all huddled in the corner of the field we're we smoke all schools have there places I suppose but the blonde kid from before is sat in his lap my heart sinks but I don't really know why . I don't know a lot these days if im honest. "We'll you know we're I am if you need to talk about it right ?, and maybe rather than sending you the song would you like to call again tonight so I can show you it "in person", I''m going to Adam's for a little while with the guys but I'll let you know when I'm home"

I just reply through normal messages this time taking pictures sometimes just is futile to me when I can convey how I feel just through words "I'll be sure to let you know the minute I need anything don't worry, AND YEH SHRE THAT WOULD BE AMAZING". As I send that away Ross and Jamie come running over to me and plonk themselves down on the grass in front of me "hey bro", Ross is always just simple and sweet always to the point

"Alright Rosso?" I hand them my lighter when they pull out there joints and start hastily looking around for one they never seem to have

"Cheers mate" Jamie takes it and lights up before passing it to Ross who also lights up

"Yeh I'm alright , how are you doing Jay said you managed German".

"Yeh dude it's was fine , but it's just a class I don't know why everyone is so mega impressed I've been doing school for like 12 years now, it's a normal thing". Again here comes the self depreciation and loathing it's never really good to dwell on my achievements if that's what you'd call them

"Bro I don't know if you've noticed the only class you've done properly in two weeks has been English you haven't attended a full class except English in two weeks , so really I think it is an achievement". Ross always knows how to put things into perspective. "That is true mate you've either skipped or not been in class the whole lesson for days bro" . Jamie not to much

"We'll alright , it's just some classes mess with my head and make me crazy that's all. It's nothing to write to the newspapers about", I rub my temples waiting for my headache that started as I walked into the canteen to dissipate because I really don't feel like dealing with this right now it's been a good day I don't want a headache to ruin it "Ross mate have you got anymore pain killers ?". The suns in my eyes I swear it never used to be this bright but Jesus I'm squinting again. "Are you sure that's a good idea having been smoking".Always the levelheaded is Ross

"Where are your glasses mate you brung em with you yesterday but I didn't see you wearing them and your not wearing them now, they might be contributing to your headaches". I know he's probably right but they just make everything even brighter and stark

"I know I probably should be wearing them but there just really irritating my eyes, but honestly I'll be fine the weed and the painkillers will help I'm sure they will even if it's just one, I just need it to go away before next class or there's not a single chance in me sitting in there". I try to block my eyes from the sun so it's not so bright and look at Ross pleading with him.

"Alright fine but one because I don't know how well they mix I don't want you throwing up on us again okay?". He hands me the pill and throws over his water i thanks him and neck it hopefully it's fast-acting

"Also here have this". Jamie throws me over a bag of crisps I also thank him and starts digging into them. It might be the fact I'm highly delusional right now or I just haven't eaten much in hot minute but these are amazing.

"So how you feeling like honestly feeling right now mate?" Jamie pipes up after a good solid five minutes of silence as we all eat and drag out joints out as long as possible

"I don't know how ready I am for physics if I'm honest but I spoke to George and I said I'd try". I finish with my crisps and just shove the empty packet into my blazer pocket and will dispose of later when we go back inside.

"George ??". Shit I forgot they don't know about George, I haven't actually said his name until now.

"Oh uh yeh George , he's the guy I was telling Ross about I met him online the other day and he's been tryna keep me right and out of my head". They look at me now a bit bemused "what?"

"You Matthew Timothy Healy are you trying to tell us that your actually letting someone help you". Ross chimes in with a mouthful of crisps himself.

"He's nice, but hey I let you guys help I'm just used to you guys ain't I , he's new and he doesn't fully get me yet".

"Alright alright , settle down , so you told him you'd try what does that mean exactly?"

"That I'll go but if I don't want to be in there I'll ask if I can go sit with Miss Conner's again don't worry I won't leave I'll still walk you guys home today" . I cross my heart for added affect and dramatisation.

"Alright then but you know you don't have to right?". Ross is looking at me all serious now "like don't force yourself to stay in the lesson"

"I'll be fine, I know what I'm doing" I give them both a hopeful smile and a big thumbs up mainly to convince myself more than them but it's alright. Just then the bell goes off as we all run back down to the top end off the field and inside so we don't get locked out. This door always gets locked on during class so people don't leave but they forget there are other doors. We say our goodbyes and I make my way to physics my heart evidently throwing itself out of my chest before I even enter the room but I push through. I sit down and my table and shove my rucksack under it and wait for everyone to arrive. The volume starts to rise almost instantly as everyone is hyped after lunch and ready to start the lesson. This already is not feeling like a win. I send George the fingers crossed emoji just a quick little reminder to know I'm thinking about him and letting him know that I know he's there if I need him. Mrs Alaric makes her way in and ask us all to settle down as we have an experiment to take part in today and that she needs us all to listen, I feel my chest start to heave slightly as experiments always make everyone loud and bunsin burner smell really sets my teeth on edge but I let her explain before I decide what I'm doing.

She's spends at least half of the lesson describing the experiment and we all note down the information and how we think it will end there are two boys across the other-side of the room messing around and the constant shouting is really doing my head in but alas Mrs Alaric separates them and then she asks us to pair up and start the experiment and that's when it all goes to shit for lack of a better word really. Everyone gets up there chairs scraping against the vinyl flooring which goes right through me and then everyone starts chatting and working around me. I try to start collecting all the equipment but there's people everywhere and there loud and I keep getting knocked into people. So I sit down and cover my ears with my hands and close my eyes hoping to drown everything out. Mrs Alaric comes over to me and taps me on the shoulder startling me

"Are you okay Matthew would you like a minute outside". I take a minute to look at her she does look mildly concerned I wish this feeling of dread and uncertainty would just fuck off honestly man.

"Can I just go see Miss Conner's"

"Let me page her and let her know once I know she knows your coming I'll let you go okay ?" Alright she taps me on the shoulder again and turns to the class to give them there next instruction standing next to me the whole time then pages for Miss Conner's to come get me

I close my eyes again and just rest my head on the desk, the desk is cold and it's kinda nice you know after a few minutes there's knock at the door looking up I see that's it's Miss Conner's and I have never packed my bag and left a room as quick as I did then.

"Alright Matty?" We start the trek back to her office. My second home at this rate. My head is still rattling the pain killers didn't help at all .

"I tried but it's to loud my brain felt like it was gunna burst out my skull". My chest is still heaving and I'm still finding it difficult to breath but I'm slowly calming down and it's completely back to normal once we reach her office. She sets me down and lets me get settled. I pull my phone out just to let George know what's going on I did tell him I'd keep him updated. "We'll that's went as well as I'd pictured". I place my phone back onto the table and take out my notebook .

"I haven't got any work for you to do as of just yet so just catch up on anything you need to get done, I've got a meeting I need to attend to will you be alright in here by yourself" . She checks her watch as if keeping an eye on the time

"Yeh it's quiet in here I'll be fine". I send a smile her way hoping to convey what I need it too.

"Alright we'll Mr Cahills office is just next door if you need anything please ask him and I'll be back at 3 and we can have another little chat before you go is that okay"

"Yeh that's okay , thank you Miss" . She then leaves and it gives me a second to just think on my own my screen lights up with George's contact and I scramble to pick it up

"What happened are you okay" he sent it with a picture of his class looking like there playing football and he's just off to the side.

"It was just to loud and too crowded and my brain was gunna explode so I came back to Miss Conner's office". My notebook is just full of lyrics and unfinished songs. There's a few that are complete but there not all the good really to me anyway.

George's replies within seconds "we'll at least you know you've got Miss Conner's to keep you right and I'm glad you came to me"

"We'll I did say I'd keep you informed , also I thought you were on the football team, why aren't you playing"

"I really couldn't arsed today honestly, I'm sooo ready to go home" . A smile creeps onto my face because damn do I get it. I'm so over today and I'm so bloody tired and I don't even feel like I've done anything. "That's understandable"

"Yeh and my teacher is a colossal knob anyway" he's sat there on the gym floor wearing the school gym uniform and to me it's so funny I don't know why but seeing George falling under rules is really funny

"Your really rocking that uniform lad 😂"

"Some can say the same about you "lad" he's smiling in this one his chocolate brown eyes glimmering in the florecent light

"Mate I'm actually fit as fuck right fighting the girls off left right and centre. I don't know about you but I think I rock this uniform quite grandly actually" I'm really not but you know got to raise the stakes push the boundaries

"I mean I get it, your a handsome lad anyone would be lucky to ave ya" . My cheeks start to heat up , does he really think I'm handsome or is he just being nice , I've never really been seen like that by a guy to my knowledge anyway. Some guys are very pretty but I don't see myself as one of them no I'm not gay.

"You really think so !"

"Yeh bro honestly your fit 😉"

It takes me a second to reply because this has just slightly shifted the mood and I don't really know what to do with it. It must take a little longer to reply to him than I thought because he send another message

"Sorry if that's weird"

I rush to reply hoping he doesn't feel bad or hurt "no , no it's alright". I put my phone down for a second just to work on my lyrics for a second and to really get this demo together for Mr Hardy I might be able to practise with the boys later.

Here's the sub matty request

warning: smut

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“Matty—You gave me a fright, Jesus!” She gasped as she watched him walk through the door, remarkably early, his hair noticeably identical to the way it looked when he left not too long ago, and his gym bag full. “Thought you’d be happy about it.” Matty mumbled, startling her a second time when he let his bag drop to the floor with a thud. “Did you forget something? I packed your gi and your guard and everything.” “Not going anymore.” His reply was terse, but just saying those 3 words took a lot out of him. “Why not?” “You’re the one who’s been complaining that we never spend any time together when I’m home.” She heard the edge in his tone but chose to look past it. “You- were halfway there but you turned around and came back home to spend time with me? Have you told your face that? Or your voice?” Matty remained silent, looking past her and breathing deeply to keep from letting the snide comments slip out of his mouth. He felt like a balloon being pumped full of air. Slowly but surely, growing bigger, and bigger, and bigger, until finally, one last pump of air and “You’re ignoring me.” POP! “For fucks sakes!!!!” Matty yelled, both of his hands flying to his temples. “When will this interrogation end, officer?!!! Am I free to leave? Are we fuckin done here??” The balloon had burst.

Matty’s chest heaved, his eyes staring down at his shoes. The sound of his own voice from moments ago still echoed in his ears. He shouldn’t have done that. He shouldn’t have yelled. And he shouldn’t have been cruel with his words either. But it’s too late now. He can’t take any of it back. The silence between them was deafening, the air felt heavy. He tore his eyes away from the floor for a moment, to glance at her, but the second that they locked eyes, he felt the tears begin to sting. He looked away as his lower lip began to tremble. He didnt want to cry. Not in front of her at least. He recalled reading somewhere that pressing your tongue to the roof of your mouth could prevent crying. His tongue raised inside his mouth, testing to see if it would work. He was overcome with guilt. He couldn’t possibly look her in the eyes after his ridiculous outburst. He turned around, to hide his face, sniffling with his back towards her.

Calmly, she walked across the room towards him. Matty wiped his tears on his arm as he felt her approaching.

“Matty…” she cooed softly. “No- I- just- need a minute.” His plea punctuated with sniveling. Disregarding what he’d said, she placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. The soft gesture shook him, a loud sob tore through his chest. His knees seemed to buckle, but she quickly hooked her arms underneath his armpits him from behind, holding him up.

“It’s okay, Matty. You’re okay. Please don’t cry.” She whispered, her chest pressed to his back. It broke her heart to see him like this. “Let’s sit down, yeah? Can you do that for me?” At her suggestion, Matty straightened his legs, pulling himself together and stepping outside of her embrace. She trailed behind him, sitting right next to him and placing her hand on his back, rubbing it gently. “No, please. I don’t deserve this. Don’t deserve to be consoled right now.” Matty attempted to squirm away, shrug off her hand, but he was trapped between her body and the arm of the couch with nowhere to go. “Hush, now. None of that.” “I- yelled at you. I was mean.” He blubbered as she pulled him closer, kissing his cheek and rest his head on her shoulder. “It’s okay, Matty. You didn’t mean it.” She wasn’t shaken by any of this because she’d seen it coming, expected it for a while now. He’d been short and snippy with her since getting home. She could see the stress and exhaustion written all over his face from the second that he’d walked through the “Arrivals” gate at the airport. “I didn’t. I’ve just been- it’s been-“ he searched his mind for the right words to justify his behavior lately, but there were none. “You’ve been stressed.” She finished the sentence for him. “You’ve been working yourself to death. I mean, you’re home for- what- like….five days?” He nodded, surrendering to where he knew this conversation was going. “You’ve been here three days and I’ve barely seen you. All I see of you is getting up early to get to the studio, or to make a meeting with someone. Last night, I found you passed out on the couch, with your shoes still on.” “I’m sorry- I-“ “I’m not mad, Matty. I’m just saying. You’ve been overwhelmed. And, when you’re overwhelmed, you have a tendency to lash out. You try to control things with a tighter grip- to its like you think that if you just push hard enough, you’ll feel better, but it just makes things worse.” Matty pulled his head off her shoulder, sitting up straight. She looked into his eyes and saw him looking back. Like a lost kid, begging for direction. “Just….can’t make my brain stop. It won’t stop.” He mumbled, leaning forward and holding his head in his hands. “I feel like if I give up control, I’ll drown.” “Baby, you’ll never drown as long as I’m around.”

“You sure you want this?” She pulled his face from where he’d buried it in embarrassment, in the crook of her neck. Matty blushed when he felt the intensity of her eyes on him, studying his face for any signs of hesitation. “Yes. I’m sure. Promise.” He whispered

It wasn’t that they’d never done this before. Had sex after an argument. Makeup sex could be great sometimes. Whether it was a huge fight that left them both in tears and in need of intimacy and reassurance, or a simple spat that had blown out of proportion in the heat of the moment turning from anger to passion, they weren’t exactly shy about it. But this felt different. With one of them more vulnerable than the other, it was slightly new territory.

Matty could tell that she was still uncertain. He looked directly into her eyes. “I just- want you to break my brain. Stop it from thinking.”

She placed a gentle hand to his cheek, without a a second thought matty felt thumb next to his mouth and dipped his head lower and took her finger into his mouth.

The gesture lit an insatiable fire within her that longed to consume him instantly. And he could see its spark in her eyes.

“Ah-ah! Nope. Don’t even bother. You just lay there and look pretty.” She rounded the bed like a vulture circling its prey. “Don’t deprive me of the pleasure of peeling that uniform off of your body. Do you have any idea how many times I’ve pictured myself doing that?” She bit her lower lip at the memory, towering over him and running a finger down his shirt.

The black polyester fabric of the rash guard separated his skin from hers, but Matty almost felt himself shiver. His mind and body already beginning to surrender. That, was the feeling he craved most when they were apart.

She pulled his shirt over his head. Tossing it to the floor. His shorts followed not too long after. She stepped back for a moment, taking in the sight of him splayed out on the bed, in nothing but his underwear, looking at up at her. “the brain breaking that you’ve requested requires a special combination of pain and pleasure.” She stated calmly before turning around and reluctantly walking away from him, towards her nightstand drawer. “I need some tools.” Matty couldn’t tell what, exactly, she was rummaging around for, nor did he want to guess. He’d find out soon enough. This wasn’t about him predicting and controlling what happened next. It was about, just, letting it happen. “There’s just something about having a man like you, who looks like- that” she gestured at his biceps and his torso, be completely at my mercy. She tied his wrists, one at a time, to the bed frame. “Look at that.” She tilted her head, admiring his flexed arms against the restraints. “Gorgeous. I could sit here and stare at your beauty for hours.” Her voice small, hypnotized. She shook herself out of her trance. “But don’t worry. I won’t. We’ve got more intense things to worry about.” Matty turned his head to the side and watched her pick up his cigarette lighter. Then, she broke a piece of wax play candle out of its container and lit it over his exposed chest.

She smiled, watching as drops of hot wax dropped onto Matty’s chest making him flinch and wince. She’s started slow, one drop at a time, giving him a chance to warm up and connect with his body, but she wanted to have fun now. She tilted the candle upside down completely, moving her hand forward and directing a stream of freshly melted, liquid wax to splash over Matty’s nipples. “No- fuck!” He bucked his hips reflexively attempting to squirm away. “Shiiiit-“ as the wax spilled Matty’s primal scream filled the room, drowning out the sound of the restraints pulling at the bed frame.

She look down at the artwork she’d created on Matty’s skin. The wax had dried over his chest in all sorts of shapes and patterns, some dots lined his tattoos, other lines squiggled around or ran across his chest from the top right, over his nipple, diagonally to the bottom left just abo his hip, it was quite the abstract painting. But it was now time to scrape it off. “This may hurt.” She giggled to herself as she picked up the flogger, swinging it in the air. Matty’s eyes widened as the flogger came into view, but before he had a chance to protest, she hit him square in the middle of his stomach, knocking the wind out of his lungs and rendering him speechless. A few warm up hits later, she reigned the flogger down on him relentlessly, the pain doubling as the leather scratched at the wax on his chest. He felt breathless, sweat running down his flexed biceps, wrists struggling tightly as he winced and moaned in pain. “This what you wanted, darling?” Matty attempted to nod. She shook her head and he knew what she meant. “Sorry- I- um- fuck!” His body jolted at a particularly painful piece of wax pulling at his chest hair as it ripped away. “Yes. This is what I need. Yes- thank you. Thank you. Thank you. A-fu- than-k- you.” He chanted over and over to the rhythm of the flogger.

By the time that she’d tossed the flogger aside, Matty was gasping for breath, the skin from his chest to his hip bone throbbing, painful, bright red and bruised. “Oh, baby.” Her words were pitiful but she had a satisfied smile on her face as she sat on the edge of the bed next to him, her hands lightly touching his hot skin. “That looks painful.” She whispered, almost to herself. Slowly, she dipped her head low, placing soft kisses to the body she’d just tortured. Matty jolted at first, the soft feeling surprising him. He closed his eyes and tried to enjoy the sensation of her lips on him, but his skin was much too sensitive. He couldn’t help but whine and bite the inside of his cheek. “Ow-umm thank- ah!” “Don’t thank me yet, baby.” She glanced lower, at the obvious bulge in his underwear. If matty had his wits about him he’d probably beg for release or something, but she could tell the mix of sensations had overwhelmed him. His lay there, chest rising and falling rapidly, pupils blown, his damp curls a mess. She leaned over to kiss him quickly before moving to retrieve some lube. “Alright, my love.” Matty gasped, his hips bucking off the mattress as he felt her hand reach into the waistband of his underwear and pull at his hardened cock. His eyes fluttered shut instantly, a long, deep and guttural moan leaving his lips. “Oh- fuck- baby-“ his brows knitted, he whined pathetically as she proceeded to pump him with her hand. “Yes, yes, yes” he repeated, his hips meeting her rhythm almost automatically- without him even having to try. “How’s that feel, honey?” Matty couldn’t understand why, but that single word, “honey” is what sent him over the edge, breaking his resolve and sending him hurling into sub space. He was practically useless now. She knew she wouldn’t be able to get much of a response out of him at this point. “Stay with me, my love. That feel good?” It took him a moment to hear and process her voice. “Uhhu.” He mumbled incoherently. She tugged at his balls. “Can feel you getting closer.” All she could hear from him were non specific grunts and moans. His legs beginning to tremble and his eyes rolling to the back of his head, he attempted to ask for permission, even as he struggled to string words together. “Oh god- I- mm- I-“ “I know, baby. It’s okay. You can let go. Cum for me, Matty” He let go with a rough scream that scratched at his throat. His head pushing against the pillow, neck strained and the veins on its side, noticeable. She heard his feet fall limply back onto the bed as he came down. Everything was still and quiet for a moment. Matty was too overwhelmed to open his eyes. But he felt her hands in his hair, caressing it gently as she spoke softly and sweetly, coaxing him back into his body. “You did so good, my love. You’re always so, so good for me no matter how hard I make it on you.” She wasn’t sure if he was even listening, so she untied one of his wrists, taking his hand in hers and squeezing it. A moment later, she felt him squeeze back, weakly. Relief washed over her. “I’m so so lucky to have you. You’re perfect.” She kissed the back of his hand. Faintly, but unmistakably, she heard him whisper. “I love you.”