Lapras Pool Floatie

Waka, the gods’ gift to man, is here!

is anyone else getting NO OTHER ads except for the just like heaven fest. what is that. i don’t give a fuck

Self-Reflection...

aka thE ULTIMATE JOHN LENNON CROSSOVER, 60S JOHN MEETS 70S JOHN!?!?!? OH Y E A H .

i drew my splatoon inklings :) (i did play splatoon 2 religiously but i didn’t feel like drawing that one. oh well). the template is by @/automeruz on twitter

the first one is my 3 inkling, the second is from 1, and the third is my splatsona i guess. slay

do you guys miss me when i don’t post

i like when one person reblogs a post and you watch all their mutuals pass it around. introducing new stimuli to the ecosystem

pls i cannot get undertale off of my mind

this is based on the post-pacifist route where toriel asks sans to interpret her texts but he just types stupid shit like this. it made me laugh i love the little easily missed interactions like that

y’know. that part

drew over something i wrote for a class and liked :] sorry the cars are lowkey ugly, its because I fucking hate cars and cant be bothered to learn what they look like beyond ominous hunks of metal

edit: transcript of the poem by itself under the cut

6 Tips for Crossing the Road

Look both ways

The road is for cars. 

Make sure to look for them before crossing. Even when you have the right of way, cars have a lot of safety features and you have none. 

Use designated crosswalks 

The road is for cars. 

So is the crosswalk but, under brief and temporary conditions, you can use it too! Never jaywalk, never walk in the road, just hope there is a clear and functional sidewalk. 

Cross at the light

The road is for cars. 

There are rules and signs for them, but that can only go so far. Walk quickly and hold your breath and hope that the light doesn't turn. Make eye contact with drivers as their cars teem with potential energy, rumbling with disdain at the inconvenience of your crossing. Try to ignore the cloud of exhaust that you are in and they are above. 

Leash your pets

The road is for cars. 

Obviously. 

To you, it may be natural to sacrifice so much space to them but to your dog, it is not. His instinct is to explore freely. You must curb it. Modern US car models have such high hoods that the average child, let alone dog, is obscured. Even on the sidewalk, hold the leash tight because the sidewalk (if you are so blessed) is next to the street and the threat still looms.

Look out for road kill

The road is for cars. 

And no one was there to leash the deer. 

Or the raccoon. 

Or the cat. 

Did you know that the most reliable sample method for wildlife in an area is looking at the roadkill? 

Remember these tips

The road is for cars. 

Cars are everywhere. In the city. In the suburbs. In the country. In the woods (the US Forest Service manages more roads than the entire Ministry of Transit in China.) Cars are everywhere because there are roads to bring them there, which is great if you are a car and want to get from place to place fast without worrying about the in-between. 

Unfortunately, you are not a car. 

You are an animal. 

You are in-between. 

So remember to look both ways. 

POST THIS BEAST

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