So, I Haven’t Been Posting Consistently For The Past Couple Of Weeks Because I’ve Been Ripping And

Doom slayer only thinks in heavy or death metal right? So if he is happy does he think in classical music or like pop.

character who doesn’t know they’re in a timeloop: you’re back early

character who knows they’re in a timeloop, at the same time as the other character: you’re back early. yeah. i know. today’s haunted

character who doesn’t know they’re in a timeloop: what?

character who knows they’re in a timeloop: *loads gun* today’s haunted

Enri, praying: It’s me again

Enri: I need someone to save my village... someone who won’t run away

Enri: Maybe send me an angel!

Enri: The nicest angel you have.

Momonga, striding through a black portal, gripping the heart of an enemy soldier, reanimating the corpse to go kill more soldiers, and offering Enri a vial of blood to drink: :) hi

Understanding the root does not mean understanding the sum of the branch’s

An old and homely grandmother accidentally summons a demon. She mistakes him for her gothic-phase teenage grandson and takes care of him. The demon decides to stay at his new home.

A Deal With The Devil

The deal was simple, we’d get to ask him a couple of questions and he got to ask us a couple of questions. A bit odd if you ask me. What could The Devil possibly want to know from us? I couldn’t tell you.

“Is heaven real?” I asked.

“Yes,” he replied, his voice like dying embers in a fireplace, “and so is hell.”

“Who goes to heaven?”

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Sentence Starters for Robotic/AI Muses

…or for Robot/AI AU purposes

Human “What are you programmed to do?” “For a robot, you look so life-like.” “You’re not planning some world domination scheme, are you?” “Do you have Google search?” “If I call you Siri, will you kick my ass?”   “What are you made out of?” “You’re so cold to the touch.” “What was it like when you were ‘born’ as a robot?” “I’m just not sure I trust something that looks like a human but isn’t a human.” “So, what kind of cool stuff can robots do?” “I spilled water on the floor. Don’t walk in it!” “Do you have a USB port? My phone is about to die.” “Please don’t exterminate me, I’m a GOOD human!” “Couldn’t they at least put you in a normal-looking body?” “What happens if you’re damaged?” “It feels weird, talking to a robot like any other person.” “I wish you weren’t artificial.” “Calm down, I think you’re glitching. I’ll try to fix you.” “I know you’re awake. You can’t just say ‘shutting down’ when you ignore me.” “Got any guns or lasers or anything?” “You don’t look like a robot.” “You feel warmer than I thought you would.” “Can robots be taught how to feel emotion?” “That’s a roomba. I don’t think it will talk to you.”

Robot/AI “Hello. How can I assist?” “What were you expecting? The Terminator?” “I’m programmed to do many things.” “Humans created me, but I like to think I’m a person.” “Are you my creator?” “Just because I’m not human doesn’t mean I don’t feel anything.” “If we wanted to exterminate all humans, we would have done that already.” “Sure, I’m better and smarter and stronger than all of you. But don’t worry.”   “I n-n-need re-re-p-pairs.” “I’m running low on energy. Can you help me?” “You humans created me. So why don’t you trust me?” “I was given this vessel to appear more familiar to you.” “I can perform all sorts of functions. Do you want a demonstration?” “No, I don’t have any lasers.” “Touch me and I will activate my offensive mode.” “I can search all information databases instantaneously. Ask me anything.” “Unfortunately, I don’t have the programming for emotion yet.” “Robots are becoming more and more like humans, only better.” “I was programmed with an emotional range.” “I wasn’t happy being created just for servant work.” “Please, I need a better body than this one.” “I’m just an AI. I don’t have a face.” “Does what I am make you uncomfortable?” “I have a built-in weapon system. Would you like me to show you?”

Tigerfish

It was always dicey, dealing with the mermaids of the delta.

They were quick, with fast hands and faster smiles. Plenty of good men died by just getting too close, and they encouraged it.

Tiger scales were a warning, to anyone who knew to look for them. Even the crocodiles gave them wide berth.

Once in a while they fought.

Javan saw that once. Saw the brown water and the papyrus rattle as two predators fought, one with scales like armor and the other with knife and tooth and claw.

There was so much blood, he would never have known who won, except for the flash of gold scales and tiger stripes.

She was hurt. So hurt that she might have died, and yet he dared to bandage her, cautious because she could kill him any moment, but unable to leave her there, dying in the shallow water.

There was a giant, bloody tooth in her hand. He didn’t try to touch it. 

“Why?”

He jumped and pulled his gun before he even quite knew what he was doing. The mermaid bared long, pointed teeth at him and hissed, tensing like she was about to bolt, or slash at him with her lethal claws.

For a long minute, they waited. She was fast. Probably fast enough to kill him, but not before he shot her at least once. 

“Peace,” she said at last, and pointedly retracted her claws. Javan watched her. It could be a trap, and he hoped it wasn’t. Sure, the mermaids tended to be maneaters, and this one probably did exactly that, but he didn’t actually like killing anything. “I will do you no harm on this day, Arab.”

“I’m not an Arab,” Javan winced, but he did put his gun away. “I’m Armenian. Are you going to claw me if I patch you up?”

“Patch up?” she cocked her head and considered him. Her dark skin glittered with water droplets and her eyes were gold. “What is ‘patch up’?”

Right. No clothes. The concept of patching was probably unfamiliar.

“Bandage,” Javan nodded towards her still bleeding arm. “This is a bad place to be bleeding.”

She mulled that over, and seemed very aware of her long, golden tail that was half-submerged in the water. A trail of thick blood followed the current downstream.

“Very well,” she decided after a while. “Until we part ways, and unless it is in defense, I will not harm you.”

That was… pretty complete all things considered. Javan decided he would take it. “Gotcha. Okay, hold still.”

She did, and he dared to get closer so he could wash and bandage her bleeding hide. As soon as everything was clean, he held up a bottle of liquid bandage. “This will sting, but it will help.”

Again, she considered, and nodded her approval. He had to work quickly, but it didn’t take long to get her as whole as he could manage.

“Why help me?” she asked after a while, and waited until he finished with a bite down her arm to haul herself out onto the sparse grass nearby. “We kill your kind.”

“Yeah, I know,” Javan admitted, and prudently got out of range. He didn’t think she was going to change her mind about him, but it was never good to be close to the water, mermaid or no mermaid. “Your lot make mine real nervous. We keep losing guys down by the river.”

Not like they could do anything about it. They weren’t even supposed to be in this part of Africa, but there was something to be said for hiring mercenaries, and one of the local diamond barons needed some extra muscle.

“So why risk it?’ she persisted, and kicked her tail to spray water over herself. “Between me, and the crocodiles, I would think you would leave me.”

“I’ve seen a lot of death in the last couple weeks,” Javen said, and found a seat on a fallen log nearby. It was surprisingly bug-free, and he settled himself, interested in talking as long as he could. “I might be good at killing, but I try not to if I can help it.”

She hummed thoughtfully and rolled her crocodile tooth between her long fingers. Now that he looked, he realized she had a whole necklace of them.

“You helped me without asking anything in return,” she said quietly, and raised her bandaged arm. “Except that I not harm you while you did it, which is no proper repayment. Take this.”

She tossed him the tooth and Javan caught it reflexively. It filled his palm. The crocodile itself must have been absolutely huge.

“Wear it as a necklace,” she ordered him, and flashed him a smile that was pretty, and full of fangs. “And remember the name, Zamara.”

Before he could reply, she flipped and vanished into the murky water.

He looked down at the tooth in his hands and then at the dark water.

“Thanks,” he said to the empty air, and dug for some string.

He didn’t know what the tooth meant, but who was he to refuse a gift from a mermaid?

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